Newspaper Page Text
ion ILL II I It
- To-Horrow's Mammoth Issue
' PITTBBURG D1BPATCH
Contains Many Original and Striking
HERE ARE JU8T A FEW OF THEMi
"Washington Beauties, by Mrs. Grundy, Jr.
Flums From a Ballot's Duff, by W. Clark Kus
sell. Is Marriage Essential? by Mrs. Frank Leslie.
A Night With Nihilists, by Iran Smirnoff.
Our School Teachers, by Berate Brabble.
Tbe Snow Queen, by Ernest H. Heinrichs,
The Congo State, by George W. Williams.
Decline of Whaling, by 0. 8. Kanford.
Snow Legends, by F. S. Bassett.
Pittsburs Telephone System, by Wales.
New York Society Gossip, by Clara Belle.
A Local Songstress' Success, by Hope Glenn.
Abont Tobogganing, by Wilt F. Fond.
Foreign Vocalists in Pittsburg by James C.
Scenes on the Bridges, by Brcnan.
Life in an Indian Agency, by Bed Bird.
SHOULD CLERGYMEN SMOKE
Is Discussed by the Following Well-Known
Pastors of Two Continents:
T. DeWitt Talmage,
H. Heber Newton,
C. A. Bar to 1.
Theodore L. Cuyler,
William H. Ward,
Henry C. Potter,
Samuel Francis Smith,
Robert Coll yer,
S. D. Bnrchard,
A. Cleveland Ooxe,
W. H. Milburn,
William H. Furness,
O. B. Frothingham,
Richard S. Storrs,
Dr. James McCosh,
Thomas K. Beecher,
C C. McCabe,
Read the Fascinating Story of an Irish Gentle
man's Adventures in America, bv JUSTIN
H. MCCARTHY, M. P., Entitled,
Errant in the Rockies 1
ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8. IMS.
Vol. 44. So. J3. Entered at l'lttsburg rostodce,
November 14, 1337. as second-class matter.
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PITTSBURG SATURDAY. DEC. 7, 1889.
COMMENTS HOSTH AND SOUTH,
If any thing were needed to remind the
country that it is 25 years since the war the
character of the comments upon the death
of Jefferson Davis would suffice. As chief
actor in a rebellion which cost the country
so terribly in life and treasure, and which
left a legacy of bitter sectional feeling, it
might be supposed that even the maxim of
speaking nothing but good of the dead
would not restrain the expression of severe
judgments from many quarters io such a
case Yet th.i marked disposition so far
shown by the Northern press, and even by'
union veterans, is rather to pass over the
dismal and tragic chapter in silence; to
dwell more on the services the deceased ren
dered in the Mexican war and in the civic
service of the Government before secession,
as well as upon certain known amiable per
sonal traits and notable qualities of mind,
the possession of which by Mr. Davis was
The exhibition of this spirit is even more
significant than wonld be a. different tone.
It means simply that there is but a common
judgment everywhere through the world
now npon the disastrous secession attempt
and the consequences which followed; that the
questions connected therewith are forever
settled; ihat what, for so long, has ceased to
be in controversy or issue among the living
need not be reopened in discussion over an
open grave. It is not to be supposed that
any estimate or opinion can possibly be ex
pressed of Jefferson Davis which would
not be influenced by recollection of the
treasonable enterprise in which he engaged,
and which chiefly made him conspicuous
before the world. But the expression of
opinions in the North is restrained by a
feeling of magnanimity in the presence of
the dread arbiter who closes all human
books and sends the gravest and lightest of
accounts before the Highest Tribunal for
review and judgment.
In the South there will, of course, be a
more effusive expression of sentiment
Though the new generation there, as well as
what remains of the old, can contemplate
the most .eventful period of the life of the
deceased, with no different conclusions from
those entertained in the North, there will
still be' the very natural feeling of personal
loyalty in death to the leader whom the
Southern people, mistakenly or not, did not
cease to admire when living and over
whelmed with disaster. That is no more
than is to be expected. The North will un
derstand the sentiment, and place no ungen
erous or mistaken interpretation upon it.
ETABXETB EXPEDITION ENDED.
The safe arrival of Stanley. Emin Pasha
and their respective forces at Zanzibar closes
Stanley's fourth great achievement in
' Africa, which is in many respects the most
remarkable oi his record. While his other
explorations were so successful as to arrest
the attention of civilization, nono of them
have been so marked in the attainment of
their object through yean of trials, reverses,
difficulties and dangers.
The end ot the expedition is further nota
ble in the fact that the bringing off of Emin
marks the abandonment of the outpost of
civilization which that gallant German has
so long held at the sources of tbe Nile. It
is to be hoped that the latter has not sur
vived all the perils he has gone through to
meet death by an inglorious tumble at Zan
zibar. However that may be it is true, that
with the end of his Governorship, the only
secure foothold of civilization in Equatorial
Africa is along the Congo and on the Zanzi
Is the heart of Africa to be abandoned to
tbe Arab slave traders, or will civilization
unite in strengthening and extending it
hold on the Dark Continent?
WHEJT DOCTORS DOTEE.
The usual result of doctors' differences is
that the patient dies, but in Birmingham,
Ala,, a professional dispute between twa
medical men ended in the death. of one of
them. Dr. J. D. S. Davis and Dr. "v7m.
Locke Chew differed radically in their ideas
as to the appropriate treatment of a certain,
disease, and -a discussion of the- subject at
the Birmingham Medical Society brought
them into such heat that they quarreled
when they reached the street, and Dr. Davis
shot Dr. Chew go that he died. It is quite
possible that Dr. Davis will die before his
natural time, so that his advantage in the
argument is only temporary.
Doctors are not likely to adopt this san
guinary method of solving professional dis
putes. 'What is the use of killing each
other when they are at liberty to prove in
con testably the correctness or the reverse of
their line of treatment on the public and to
collect fees for so doing? Anyone can see
that the proper course for Drs. Chew and
Davis would have been to have taken each
a patient suffering from the disease in ques
tion and to have subjected them to the two
different treatments. The doctor who killed
his man would have been proven wrong in
his theory; or if both patients died the doc
tors would have known they had to read up
their subject still further.
Now Dr. Chew is dead of a. common gun
shot wound, and Dr. Davis is likely to die
of strangulation or fracture of the vertebral
column; both very well known as causes of
death. Their decease can contribute noth
ing to science, "Wo trust that the doctors of
Pittsburg will stick to the old conservative
practices, and acquire knowledge at the
public's and not their own expense.
TEE FAEHEBS AND LABORERS.
The union of the Knights of Labor with
the Farmers' Alliance, which appears to be
practically agreed upon, is based on the
natural community of interest between the
important bodies which they represent. One
body represents the mass of labor in the
manufacturing and mining industries; the
other the great agricultural industries. In
other words the alliance, if put on a
proper foundation, has the significance of
organizing the great mass of the workers of
the nation against the privileges which
favor certain forms of organized capital to
the disadvantage of the masses.
The Knights of Labor do not, of course,
represent the entire body of Industrial labor,
nor, indeed, does the Farmers' Alliance in
clude all the farmers of the land. But if
these two organizations can frame a plat
form on which their respective interests can
unite, they will be able to command the
support of the great mass of both interests.
Such a union means the practical union of
the working people of the United States;
and the main criticism that can be made
against it is that it might as well be a union
of the whole nation, in which case the Gov
ernment is the proper organization for it
The basis on which thednionis to be formed
presents no very easy question. Each party
is so wedded to ideas of its own that the
amalgamation of them is not likely to be
any simple task. On the other hand, the
best guarantee against the adoption of
economic heresies is that the peculiar ideas
of one side will be checked by the interests
of the other. The Knights of Labor for
instance have lately been very strongly
affected by the land tax theory; but the
iarmers, as the class which would be most
burdened by such a tax, will be slow to
adopt it. On the other hand the resolution
of the Farmers' Alliance adopted yesterday
formulated a distinctively revenue tariff
scheme; which the industrial laborers will
not be likely to indorse.
A union which supports the true interests
of the farmers and laborers supports the true
interests of the whole nation. The outcome
of this alliance will be watched with the
utmost interest, and may possess possibili
ties of the greatest magnitude.
Stanley has come to light in safety, after
extraordinary perils, with no end of valua
ble information about Central Africa and
stories of adventure innumerable. "We ad
mit his right to all the glory man can give
him; his reward for so much suffering, we
trust, will be substantial, and we own to an
eager desire to hear from his own lips the
story of his journey. The pith of the matter
is that the world stands ready to honor and
give audience to the lion, but it does not
care a cent about the jackals who, as usual,
come in to snatch what scraps they can from
the lion's feast.
The efforts of the two New York news
paper correspondents to steal by hook or
crook a share in Stanley's triumphs are too
ridiculous to need much reprobation. "We
remember very well under what auspices
and with what significant innuendos the
man Stevens set out to find Stanley.
He was not only going to find Stanley but
to lay bare all sorts of queer thiugB which
were keeping Stanley out of sight. It
was pretty broadly hinted by the paper
which employed Stevens and his little
bicycle that Stanley's reasons for staying in
Central Africa were not above sus
picion. Slave trading and ivory dealing
were profitable, it was suggested. The
other correspondent was sent out to find
Stanley with a grand flourish of trumpets.
These worthy fellows are now disputing
which of them shook hands with Stanley
first after he had discovered himself.
Neither correspondent got far enough from
the coast to anticipate Stanley's own an
nouncement of his arrival on the skirts of
civilization. Consequently under all the
circumstances the jackals had better take
themselves off while the popular eye is
filled with the lion. They may escape in
convenient kicking by an early retreat; and
certainly Stevens ought to feel grateful if he
does not feel the lion's fangs.
Me. Habsisox's declaration is correct
that '"great benefit will accrue Irom the adop
tion of some system by which the officer would
receive the distinction and benefit that in all
private employments come from exceptional
faithfulness and efficiency in tho performance
of duty." The theory Is unexceptionable; but
tbe way to reduce it to practice does not seem
to be in the line of appointing subordinates
who will decapitate office-holders by thou
sands merely because a new administration
has come in. 3
Tub fact that Emin Bey has escaped the
dangers of the African climate, Mahdist ene
mies, insurrection of his own .soldiers and the
attacks of savage tribes, only to be dangerously
Injured by-falling from a window after he has
reached civilization, is a singular illustration of
the irony of fate.
THF postponement of the sale of the Li
brary Hall proDerty yesterday mates it reason
ably certain that the interests which are trying
to preserve that property for its public func
tions will succeed in domg so. The discredit of
having a property dedicated by law to ben
eficial ends diverted to private ownership is
thus averted. This is tho most satisfactory
conclusion of what has heretofore been a very
The report that an English corporation
of 1100,000,000 capital la going to take hold ot
and run the railroads, of this country, warrants
modest inquiry whether the (100,000,000 capi
tal reaches that very neat sum before or after
Of cotjese it is very sad for the rela-
tires of people who are sent to prison, 'for
breaking the laws, as was- proved by a scene in
Criminal Court yesterday; but it mnBt be re
membered that such sorrows can be avoided by
obeying the laws. When it is understood that
every one who violates the law must be pun
ished for no one can be blamed for the misfor
tune that follow but the violators.
"Witb a warning like that of the Honon
gahela House fire it is surely a logical deduc
tion that we ought to have fire engines that
can throw water to the tops of the highest
buildings, no matter who makes them.
The brewers of the city, freed from the
fear of prohibition, are going to spend over a
million dollars in enlarging their facilities, and
hope to supply the greater share of Pittsburg'
future beer supply by home industry. There
Delngno English syndicate in this, it'may be
relied upon that neither the capital nor the
beer will be unduly watered.
Gbeeke county's financial troubles
amount to a strong object 'lesson against sub
scribing to the stock of corporate enterprises
when you have not got the money to pay the
The order of the Supreme Court in the
cases of tbe convicted Aldermen is doubtless
based on good grounds: but is it not a unique
demonstration of justice which will keep three
Aldermen in a position to administer their
offices for a year after their unfitness to do
anything of the sort has been publicly proved!
The weather has some compensations,
and yesterday illustrated one of them. But
the trouble is that 1889, has altogether too much
to compensate for.
The more that ballot-box contract forgery
business is ventilated tbe plainer it geu that
the disputants on both' sides are showing them
selves in an unfavorable light. They should
awaken to the perception of the fact that the
less said In their case the sooner the breach of
their reputation may be mended by oblivion.
TnEsewer.pipe manufacturers are getting
up their combination for December almost as
promptly as they did that for the preceding
The fact that storage charges on pipe line
certiflcatesjhave not been advanced since oil
went above the dollar line, Is attracting atten
tion. It Is not exactly what was expocted; but
is possibly explicable on the ground that the
pipe line company is not anxious to offer a pre
mium on the construction of opposition lines.
"With regard to Jefferson Davis the pro
verb of "de mortuis nil nisi bonum" will have
to be stretched probably to the breaking point.
Botjlangeb's lease of his Paris resi
dence shows that be hopes to return to Paris,
and ex-President Cleveland has refused 150,000
for his Washington residence. The eternal
spring of hope in the human breast is evi
dently too powerful to let the possessors of it
loosen their hold on their real estate.
PEOPLE OP PBOHINExTCE.
Miss Margaret Blaine and Mr. Walter
Damrosch will be married Shrove Tuesday.
Comedian Scanlan. at the Star Theater,
New York, gave a benefit for Mrs. Parnell,real
izlng$877. Senator Geobge, of Mississippi, joined the
Baptist Church before he started to Washing
ton last week.
Hon. Wtt.t.taw L Scott will erect a man
sion in Erie, in the spring, costing 200,000. It
will be of the Romanesque order.
Sio. PEBUorsn, who will sing with Pattl
on her American tour, has had his costumes
made by Worth, the Paris dressmaker.
senator Beck is still an invalid, and his
physicians tell him he must do little or no
work during the present session of Congress.
Mb. Charles a. Dana, of the New York
Sun, and wife, arrived Thursday morning in
New York on the Anchor Line steamer His
panla, which sailed from Glbralter November 15.
Colokei. Buffalo Bill Cody's daughter
was married at North Platte, Neb., the o'ther
day, and the Colonel sent his blessing, $5,000 in
cash and a deed for a house and lot. So great
has been his success in Paris, that Colonel
Cody Is quite able to afford the luxury of a
Mas. Jakes G. Blaine, Jr.. submitted to
an operation tbe other day, during which she
was burned with irons, but it cannot be known
for a time whether any great benefit will re
sult. She has been " confined to her bed for
15 weeks, and during that time; has not been
able to move from one position.
Asielie Rives Chanler, the novelist, is
passionately fond of tbe violin. It is said that
"she will jump up in bed in the middle of the
night, seize her violin, always at the bead of
the bed, and fiddle away with surprising
energy." The other day it was announced that
Mr. Chanter had gone to Central Africa.
A GREAT CLEARANCE SALE.
The Woman's Industrial Exchange Making
Boom for Holiday Goods.
Grand clearance sale; not exactly at cost, bnt
in very close proximity to It, will the ladies of
the Industrial Exchange dispose of all their
consignors' goods that have reached tho great
age of six months or more, on next Friday.
Tbe newer, fresher, articles will for that day
go into seclusion, and those having the right of
"squatter sovereignty" will be displayed.
Great preparations are in progress among tbe
consignors of the lunch room dainties for the
increased demand of tbe holldavs. and on Mnn.
day and Tuesday before Christmas a specialty
will be made at their rooms on Penn avenue, of
all sorts of delicacies, fruit cakes and plum
paddings, that are decidedly ".English you
know," rolls, tarts, mlnco pies, both prohibition
and non-prohibition, cookies and breadstuffs of
all description will reign on those days, and
many a busy woman can rest easy regarding
those very necessary eatables, knowing that at
the last moment a hasty visit to those all surv
piylng rooms will fill every want for the Christ
The Governor-Elect of Ohio Is Bemrmber
lnff Hli Friends.
HAMILTON, O.. December 6. Governor-elect
Campbell has made" known.the following ap
pointments: Military Staff John L Vance,
Quartermaster General, Gallipolis; Telford
Qroesbeck, Judge Advocate General, Cincin
nati; Dr. H. A Bart. Snrgeon General. Woos
ter; John W. Hill, Chief of Engineers, Wyom
ing. Aids-de-carop Samuel A. Courtwrjgbt,
CirclevUleSPrice McKinney, Cleveland; F. L.
Huffman. Dayton: Charles D. Hiuman, Colum
bus; T. F. Spaugler, Janesvllle: J. W. Denver,
Jr., Wilmington; Brent Arnold, Cincinnati;
Frank Chance, Urbana; John A. Wilklns, Del
ta; John Kmnane, Springfield. Governor's
Clerks Executive Clerx, iSdward Hughes,
Hamilton: Assistant Clerk, William S. Creieh
ton. Wilmington; Stenographer, EobertB. Pal
mer, Washington C..H.
A COMING BENEFIT CONCERT.
The Allegheny General Hospital to Receive
Substantial Financial Aid.
The concert for the benefit of the Allegheny
General Hospital, to be given in the Fourth U.
P. Church, Allegheny, next Tuesday evening,
promises to be a very enjoyable affair.
The Allegheny Musical Association, a chorus
of 100 voices, supported by an orchestra of 40
pieces and assisted by some ot the best local
talent of the two cities, will be sure to delight
tho large audience that will greet them.
Destitution In South Dakota.
Yaskton. 8. Dak.. December 0. Governor
Mellette arrived to-day from tho scenes of
destitution in Miner county. His accounts of
the suffering thero mako It greater than
previous reports. He says there are 600 fami
lies on bis list of absolutely destitute In Miner
county and that many of these people will die
if relief is not soon provided. The Governor
Is making an effort in tbe counties along-tbe
Missouri river, where the crops were abundant,
to secure aid. Tbe people, he says, need food,
grain, clothing and f ueli and he asks for liberal
WAsnisoTOif, December ft President Har
rison and party left Washington this afternoon
for Chicago, via Indianapolis. .At the last mo
ment Mrs. Harrison decided not to accompany
the President, owing to the condition of her
sister, Mrs.-Scott-Lord, who is seriously ill at
her home in this city.
Lawrence 'Barrett' Serlona UJnesi Will
Keep Htm From Pittsburg Protection
the Poeis Bnrnuia In Lohdom.
Evebtonb who lores the stage and wishes
to see it elevated ought to be sorry to hear of
Lawrence Barrett's serious Illness, illness so
strlons that I shall not be surprised if it
enas in air. mrrett' retirement from the stage.
It Is the old trouble, swelling of the glands of
the neck a species of goitre I imagine and Its
development has been so great of late that Mr.
Barrett has been obliged to wear'a mask in his
nightly performance of "Ganelon."
Mr. Barrett was to have appeared at tho
Grand Opera House on December 16 and the
week following, bnt he has cancelled the date,
telegraphing Mr. Wilt that his doctors insist
upon bis leaving tho, stage for a month at least.
Mr. Barrett adds that be hopes to be able to
play at the Opera House later In the season
but I do not think Pittsburg will see Mr. Bar
rett on the stage for a long while.
TnEitE is, Mr. Wilt informsme,a considerable
likelihood of tbe Grand Opera House being
closed during tho week of the 16tb, owing to
Mr. Barrett's Inability to fill his date. Nat
urally Mr. Wilt finds it difficult to get any Bort
of attractions at such short notice. Beside tho
fact is that the week before Christmas is noto
riously the worst of the yoar In tneheatrical
business. There is a clear hoodoo about it. So
Mr. Wilt will not be broken hearted if he does
bare to close his doors for that week, and I
fancy tbero is not a company on the road
which will make even a pretense of wanting
Sevebai, months ago an attempt was made
to do justice to a beautiful and generous un
dertaking of some Chicago publishers to glorify
all the poets, poetasters, rhymesters and
would-bQ noeta In !ttrnmpnrinna "RlnffTAnhiAal
1 Dictionary of the Living Local and National
Poets of America." From correspondence
which reached The Dispatch after this at
tempt I judge It was successful.
Now The Writer, a literary magazine of Bos
ton, has supplemented my modest efforts with
an exhaustive description of the "dictionary"
and an appendix thereto called "Poetical
Gleanings." The article' is from tbe pen of
William H. Hills, tho editor of The Writer.
After perusing this delicately humorous tribute
to Chicago enterprise no poet to fame unknown
ought to hesitate a moment about subscribing
for the dictionary. That is to say, he will save
his money for something else. ,
The immortal Barnnm has sent a marked
copy of the London Evening JTews.and Pott
to The Dispatch, and it is easy to gather
from it that our inimitable showman has cap
tured the critics as well as the populace of
London. Here's a small section from a criti
cism a column long: We can give a rough
recipe for making a Barnum's show as pre
sented to tbe British pnblic at Olympia. Take
five common or garden circuses, with bareback
riders, manege horses, performing ponies, acro
bats, contortionists, trapeze gymnasts, and all
complete; throw in a zoological garden, a
mnslc hall or two, the choir of a Leeds festi
val, half a dozen Alhambras and Empires, two
Drury Lane pantomimes and an Aldershot re
view; flavor with a race meeting, some Roman
history, an American trotting match and 20 or
30 Tottenham Court road penny shows; add
half a mile of scenery, the "supers" of all tbe
London pantomimes, and sufficient lime light
to illuminate Oxford street from Shaftesbury
avenue to tbe Marble Arch; mix well together,
multiply Augustus Harris by six and get him
to stage manage. When you have done all
this and supplemented it with any odds and
ends of spectacular effect that occur to you,
you will have got pretty near '.the greatest
Show on alrth." '
A LETTER FROM R00SETELT
Denying That Ho Hnd Made a Personal
Attack Upon Wnnnmaker.
Washihotos, December 6 A letter from
Civil Service Commissioner Roosevelt to Mr.
Swift, of the Indianapolis Civil Servjce Reform
League, was made publio to-day. Its main
Lucius P. Swift, Esq.:
Sib -I have Jnst received your letter asking me
what there is to be said In answer to the charges
contained In the following editorial from tbe In
dianapolis Journal of December 2:
"There Is no donbt but that the system of civil
service examinations Is capable of Improvement
In several particulars. Commissioner Boosevclt
recently complained of Postmaster General Wan
amaker because he was reported to have
criticised the character of the questions
propounded to applicants for admission to
tbe railway mall service: Mr. Boosevelt is an
enthuslasllo young man and an ardent supporter
of tbe present methods, but though bo means well
be Is hasty. There Is abundant proof that the
criticisms are well founded. The latest comes
from Senator Uorman, a man who Is no friend of
tbe reform, bat whose testimony In individual
cases Is not less worthy of attention tban If be
were Its supporter. Said Mr. Gorman. In a recent
talk with a reporter: 'I never pay any attention
to tbe small appointments, bnt tuere was one case
in Baltimore some time aeo tbat attracted ttiv nt.
.n. Terv uriEiib yuude xnan. oi snienaia
. and perfectly familiar with every street
and number In tbe city, submitted hlmselrfor ex.
animation lor a position as letter carrier. He
could read and write, and had been attending
night school, and was In every way fitted for a
letter carrier, but be failed when asked the most
direct route from Baltimore to China. Be said be
bad never been In China, nor did be expect to go
there, and he only wanted to be a letter carrier.1
lntbetirst place 1 did not complain of Mr.
tVanamakcr at all. When a reporter showed me
some very extraordinary remarks and criticisms
on our railway mall examinations which were at
tributed to him, I at once said that I did not for a
moment believe that he had made them, and then
proceeded to show by actual exhibition of our ex
amination papers that tuere was not a syllable of
truth In the allegation. Since then I have seen
Mr. Wanamaker.wbo tells me tbat lie never made
the remarks quoted, uor'any resembling them. I
challenge any man to produce any examination
paper submitted to any applicant for entry to the
railway mall service which will bear out In
whole or in part the "well founded" criticisms
contained la the apocryphal Interview to wblch
tbe Journal refers. Now, as to the alleged re
mark of Mr. Gorman. No letter carrier la ever
asked. In any of our examinations, what la the
direct route from Baltimore to China. 1 defy any
one to specify any such examination, where this
or any similar question has been asked during my
term as a Commissioner; and my colleague, Mr. Ly
man, authorizes metostateinthebroadestandmost
emphatic terms that none of our examinations of
this character ever have contained any such
ITALY AND PRANCE.
The Relations Between tbe Two Countries
Bnld to be Friendly.
ROME, December 6. In the Chamber of
Deputies to-day, Signor Ferrari, a member of
the Extreme Loft, moved an amendment to tbe
address in reply to the speech of King Hum
bert opening tbe session, declaring that it was
desirous that the commercial and political re
lations between Italy and France should be im
proved. Signor Cnspi, the Prime Minister,
speaking against the motion, declared that the
political relations between the two nations
were perfectly satisfactory, and wero naturally
so, as they were neighboring nations and had
too many interests in common to dash with
Tbe Cabinet, bo said, had proposed to abolish
tbe differential duties on Imports from France
In order to end tho tariff war which France
FROM CHICAGO TO NEW I0RK.
The Pennsylvania Road Will Shorten tbe
Time About 30 Bllnntei.
Chicago, December ft On account of the
heavy travel on the new Pennsylvania special
on tbe Pennsylvania lines, it has been decided
to make it. a distinctively eastorn train on.
Monday, uccemoer 9. The time oi inis tram
will be reduced 30 minutes, and will leave Chi
cago at 10:80 a. M. Instead of 10 A. M., as at
present, arriving In Washington at at 225 p. u.
and New York at t p. M. next day.
This airangement does not Interfere with the
running ot tbe fast Southern express, further
tban it will be a distinctive southern train for
Indianapolis, Cincinnati. Louisville and points
Sontb, and will continue to leave Chicago daily
at 10 P. II., same as at present.
Uunllnir Spanish Doubloons.
BXH Feancisco, December 6, Peter Jen
nings, an old sailor of Gilroy, claims to have
been a passenger many years ago with an old
pirate, who on his deathbed divulged the secret
hiding place of $250,000 treasure in Spanish
doubloons. The place is Wall island, In the
Pacific Ocean, 8s south of tho equator. A
company was organized during the war to
search for tbe treasure, but failed to start on
account ot Government Interference. Now
Jennings has succeeded in interesting Eastern
capitalists to look for the treasure, and the
moneyed men came to this city yesterday for
tho purposo of organizing an expedition to
bunt for the doubloons.
John J. Tovraaead.
NawYoWC, December 6.-Jobn J. Towniend,' a
leading lawyer, President of the Union Club, died
yesterday of pneumonia, contracted during his
return voyage from Europe.
"DECEMBER v' 7T, 1889.
McGJniy Dies Will. Youna.
KIWTOBK BUBSAU SridALB.!
New York; December ft McGInty. the
baby hippopotamus of Central Park, died at 4
o'clock this morning, aged 4 days and 4 hours'.
McGinty showed tbe first symptoms of illness
yesterday, when ha sneezed fire times In quick
succession. This performance was quite un
precedented for a baby hippopotamus In good"
health, and his keepers at onco summoned a
veterinary surgeon, who found McGinty to be
suffering from incipient pneumonia. Plasters
and poultices were pi aced over the sick baby's
lungs, and dozens of quinine Dills were poured
down its cavernous throat, McGinty grew
steadily worse, however, till this morning,
when suffocation caused his death. McGinty
was tbe first hippopotamus ever born in
America. He weighed 63 pounds, and was 3K
feet lone. His body will be stuffed and set up
in the Museum of Natural History,
A Victim of His Appetite.
A laborer passing a high tenement In Water
street early this morning was startled by a cry
overhead, and an instant later was knocked
senseless Into the middle ot the road by a fall
ing body. Wh en be recovered bis senses a few
minutes later he found the battered remains of
a man on the pavement naar him. The body
was mutilated almost beyond recognition, and
was twitching in the last convulsions ot death.
As the dying man drew his last breath, Mrs.
John Martin ran down the tenement door steps
and called to a policeman on a neighboring
corner tbat ber husband had committed sui
cide. Shosaidho came borne last night with
delirium tremens. She put bim to bed and
watched him till 6 .o'clock when she dropped
asleep. A few minutes later he awoke, arose
quietly and throw himself from a fifth-story
Tho Dally Graphic Sold Attain.
The adjourned sale of that perennially bank
rupt property, the Daily Graphib, was held to
day. The first bid was 53,000, and from that fig
ure it mounted to 35,000, at which bid it was
knocked down to W. T. Schley, of the law firm
of Bliss & Schley. Mr. Schley refuses tossy
what the purchasers of the property intend to
do with it. Every one is curious to know upon
what new phase ot its checkered career the
moribund daily is about to entor. It has al
ready been conducted with and without finan
cial backing; and with good editors, bad edi
tors, and no editors at all. Tbe one result of
all their experiments, however, has been flat
failures. Republican campaign money boosted
the voodooed periodical into ephemeral pros
perity during the fall of 1888, but as soon as the
election was over it sank into its wonted condi
tion of decrepitude, which terminated a few
months ago in the suspension of its publication.
One Eye on Hie Own Business.
Cbarles Emory Smith, of tbe Philadelphia
Press, has been telling his New York friends at
the Fifth Avenue, to-day, what be and other
Fhiladelphlans think about several current
topics. He talked at greatest length about the
World's Fair, Don Cameron's successor, and
tbe New York newspaper abuse of Postmaster
General Wanamaker. He said the Philadel
phlans thought New York somewhat apathetic
about the fair, or else they would have raised
$10,000,000 long ago. His idea was that New
York stood tbe best chance, anyway. The gen
eral impression prevails, he continued, that
Benator Don Cameron will succeed himself.
Then referring to the Postmaster General, he
said of course certain Democratic papers would
abuse him because he was a Republican, and
helped to elect a Bepubllcan President. He
thought Mr. Wanamaker was a great Post
master General, all adverse criticism notwith
standing. An Assault by the Editors
New Jersey editors are preparing for a grand
raid upon all the available offices in the Jersey
Legislature, next month. .Editor Barber, of
Woodbury ConjUlutlcm, will be a canldate for
Secretary; ex-Senator Nichols, of the Bridge
ton Jfews, expects to be Beading Clerk; Editor
Cooper, of the Cape May Gazette, hopes to be
Sergeant-at-Arms; ex-Editor Clothier, of the
Mt. Holly News, wants to be Engrossing Clerk,
and D. Harris Smith, of the Salem South Jer
seyman, wants to be Assistant Engrossing
No Doctor, No Lawyer.
Edward Larsen, the Brooklyn faith curlst
who was arrested for refusing to give his little
daughter medicine when she was suffering
from diphtheria, was taken to court for trial
again to-day. He stood at the bar alone.
When the Justice asked him who his counsel
was he answered "God." He was remanded
for two days, in order that he might place his
case in tho hands of a lawyer.
A PROHIBITION PAPER
Ha a Crow to Pick With tbe Postofflce De
partment. From the Prohibition Voice.
Postmaster General Wanamaker, yonr atten
tion a moment: You have in tbe Postofflce De
partment some employes who are guilty of In
sufferable Impudence. In their eagerness to
serve their party they forget that they are
publio servants, paid for by us alL Every now
and then we receive from postmasters letters
containing language like the following:
To the Voice Publishers:
We received to-day a fresh invoice of that nuis
ance called the Voice, etc.
X. WEAVER, Assistant Postmaster.
United states rosTorriCE, pike 1'lains, n.y
November J6, 1889.
C. B. Hubbcll, Postmaster at Jefferson, N. Y.,
writer on an official postal card that a cony of
tbe Voice, sent on a abort term order, is not
taken out of that office because the man to
whom it is sent "likes to hare a paper that
states facts, not falsehoods."
The postofflce facilities belong to the whole
countrv. not to a political party, and we are
sure, Mr. Wanamaker, tbat you aro too sensi
ble a business man to allow the record of your
administration to be stained by permitting to
go unpunished such acts of disgraceful parti
sanship. A pnblic officer Bhould bo a gentle
man. THE WATS0N-SPR0DLL NUPTIALS.
To bo nt Trinity Protestant Episcopal
v Church en Christmas Eve.
Trinity Protestant Episcopal Church will be
tho scene of tbe most brilliant nuptial event of
the present season. In tbe wedding of Miss
Mary Watson, of Lincoln avenue, and Mr.
Frank Spout), to take place on Christmas Ere,
There will be eight bridesmaids and a maid
of honor and a full choral marriage service
will be given by tbe Vested Choir of 45 voices,
embodying tbe latest compositions used for
such a purpose. An especial programme of
organ muslo will also be given by the organist
of the church, Mr. Leonard Wales;
The rector of the church, Mr. Samuel Max
well, will officiate. In all accessories and in
lavish appointments the ceremony and accom
panying supper will transcend anyprocedlng
weddings of the season.
A LETTEKKEirar farmer, who lives near the
mountain, says ho can always tell when a hard
storm Is coming, as the crows then fly to the
better protected nooks for shelter, sometimes
a day before the storm reaches here.
Mart Base and Mary Boachard escaped
from Girls' Industrial Home at Delaware, O.,
and were recaptured on the road, nearly frozen.
An Akron, 0.,'JJBil. after eating half a rab
bit on a wager. ate"44 raw clams, a dozon fried
' oysters and a pumpkin pie. He suffered no 111
A Btjtlek druggist had a largo dog that be
came so vicious as to be a general nuisance.
Repeated efforts to poison the brute with
strychnine were unavailing, the drug doing no
more harm than so much sugar. A "button"
finally prepared him for burial.
Sophia Benxinotoit, of Xenla, O., has
given birth to her twenty-fifth child. Her hus
band claims this beats all known records.
Triplets recently born near Morgantown,
W. Ya., have been named respectively Frances
Folsom, David Hill and Quay Thomas. Mr.
Thomas thinks be is dead sure of an office after
TnYiNa to ascertain his secrets somo persons
broke open tbe trunk of a magician at the
Pottstown railroad station, but they got into
tho wrong trunk.
These are several good," pedestrians la West
Chester who follow a fux-hUDt on foot and
keep up with tee race to the fleUh.
The clock was stolen from a Stoncfelfeefff
(Berks county) church.
SEJEOT MUSICALS, '
A Choice MBsfeafe Given bv St. M nry'a So
elety r Trlaity P. B. Church A Pro
gramas et Rare Interest Capitally
A most charming select mutlcalo was .given
at the residence of Mrs. McEnight, on the cor
ner of Fifth street and Penn avenue, last even
ing, under the auspices of 8f, Mary's Society,
of Trinity P. E. Church.
Tho spacious parlor was comfortably seated
and filled by an assemblage of over 100 people
prominentia local social circles, who listened
with delighted appreciation to tbe really novel
and admirably chosen programme, which con
sisted ot nine numbers, and was under the
capable charge of Mrs. Julia M.B. Hunting
ton, assistant directress ot Trinity rested
St. Mary's Society Is named after tbe late
beloved wife ot tbe rector of tbe parish, and
its missions of mercy are an important faotor
in the church work. Tho musicale last even
log was for tho purpose of raising funds for
tbe provision of Christmas cheer for charitable
objects, and it was an artistic and financial suc
cess. The programme was opened with a stirring
tenor solo, sung with marked effect by tbe
well-known tenor soloist. Mr. David G. Davies.
Tbe next nnmber was a duet for mandolin and
piano, Mr. Llnfnrd Smith acting as pianist and
Miss Mary 8. Robb handling the poetic little
instrument with taste and skill.
Tbe quartet, "Awake," was sung brilliantly
by Masters Reed, Diehl, Steward and Gittings.
the solo boy of Trinity choir. The culture of
their voices and their blrdllkepuiity were
heartily appreciated. Miss C. H. M. King,
sister of Bishop Whitehead, sang charmingly
the "Old, Old Story," by Jaques Bluuienthaf.
Mr. W. M. Blddle played with rare tone a 'cello
solo, by Moskowski. and to an encore responded
with an operatic air.
Miss Emmeline A. McKnigbt sang with great
feeling Garrett Colyn's exquisite "Persian
Serenade." and was warmly encored, singing
"Sweethearts" in response. Both songs were
rendered with delicacy and expression. The
"March of the Men ot Harlech," sung by
Messrs. Davies, Carson, Beese and Thomas, of
tbe "Cambro-American Octet," was a strong
and finely sbaded finale of an unusually inter
THE IHAS PANTOMIME.
Details as to the Performers Therein for a
Tho official returns-, as the politicians would
say, are coming in gradually from the various
committees Interested in the "Christmas Pan
tomime" for the benefit of the Newsboys
Home. 'The tiny ones who will assume the
fantastic characters and costumes of tbe
"Mother Goose" procession are:
Lois lialley. Alice Tlndle, Nervte ChapUn, Etta,
Chaplin, Bessie Long, Virginia Bughman, Pattle
Sogers. Mary Brown, Anna Sealfe, Leila Clark-
son, juartna ciarkson, Fannie Oliver, Annie
Scott, Louise Burke, Clark Long, Louisa Magec,
AmyDui'ay. Eleanor DuPuy, Cbarles DuPuy,
Louis Wlllard. Marjorle Adams. Walton Cook,
Ethel Byram, ' Mary McCoy. Annabella McCoy,
Richard Dewhurst. Clarence Chandler. Her
bert Bjram, Catherine Scott, Lucy Hay,
irea orcrs. wosepa
Holmes, Louis Oulm-
by, Christie Di
rnvvt jarT uuworuL
Mary DUworth (Mrs. Albert Ullworth's dangu
ter)..BedellSuydam, Elsie Shaw, Idlth Keating,
Emily Keating, Vernle Johnston. Edith Johnston,
Coleman Carnegie, Nancy Carnegie, Mark dusky,
Margaret Uraham, James Magee and John Magee.
"Cinderella," which is to be given in three
acts, will be portrayed by:
Madeline Laughlln, Mary Langhlln, George
McMurtrle, Cbarles Speer, Mary Bell, Amy Wat
son, Anes Dickson, Cbarles Patterson, Mary
Fainter. Engene AlesIer, Douglas Stewart,
Benny McCord, Willie Ferguson, Kebecca Dar
lington, Alexander Chambers, Marguerite Singer,
Oliver MeCllntock, Harry Koblnson, John P.lcset
son, Lizzie Chambers, Dallas Byers and Mabel
The "Little Bed Bidine Hood" committee
are in a state of desperation, for the caste they
had selected to personate tbe characters in the
blood curdling little tragedy have disappeared
as completely as if the horrible wolf had de
voured them all in anticipation.
It is to be hoped, however, that tbey will
rally their forces and come to the front again
in a very short time.
The entertainment will take place In the
Bijou Theater some time during tbe holidays.
The date Is not yet decided upon.
A BARE SOCIAL EVENT.
Sir. and Mrs. Abbott's Eeceptlon Last Night
One Long to ba Remembered.
The palatial residence of Mr. and Mrs. W.L.
Abbott, on Neville street. East End. was a be
wildering scene last evening.
Friends to the number of 200 were in attend
ance as tneir reception, ana v enuses in rav
Isbingly lovely toilets, Apollos in regulation
evening dress, delightful strains of mnslc fur
nished by- a screened orchestra, the merry
laughter, and the low bum of conversation com
bined to render the entire company almost ob
livious to tbe flight of time.
Every room in the lovely home was placed at
the disposal of tbe guests, and the floral artist,
Mr. A, a Shepherd, with A. M. and J. B. Mur
doch, bad devoted much thought, more time.
and a variety of choice flowers to enhancing
the beauty of the superb furnishings and rich
hangings. Tbe careless effect, now considered
tbe most artistic; was obtained to perfection by
a graceful distribution of pink and white ex
otica in tbe parlors, with lovely orchids reflect
ing their beauty in the handsome plate glass
mirrors. The balls and the balustrades of tbe
stairway allowed tbe clinging smilax a rare
opportunity of effective. trimming, while huge
bouquets of perfect calla lilies tied with pink
ribbun ornamented the newel posts.
The musicians were screened from observa
tion in tbe upper hall by an immense net, into
which tbe bright green smilax bad been woven
and festooned in tbe height of artistic negli
gence. The dining room was a bower of beauty and
fragrance with clusters and baskets of La
France roses in every concelraola resting
place. The refreshments were of tho finest,
and served by Kuhn. Toerga Bros.' Orchestra
was In attendance, and everything combined to
make the evening one long tonra remembered
by those who enjoyed the hospitality ot the
hostess and host.
TO MEET AT MEMBERS' HOMES.
A North Presbyterian Church Society Makes
a New Departure.
The Home and Foreign Mission Society, of
the North Presbyterian Church, Allegheny,
have not only made a new resolution before
singing the dirge of the old year, but are keep
ing tbat resolution something tbat is seldom
done. The pleasure that results from adhering
to this resolution, however, may account for
tbe religiousness with which it is observed. It
is as follows:
Resolved, That we, the Home and Foreign
Mission Society of the North Presbyterian
Chnrch, discard our old pactice of meeting
weekly at tbe church, and instead take our
sewing and congregate at the home of a mem
ber of tbe society every Friday afternoon,
where, with a cup of tea and some thin sand
wiches as an inspiration, our needles will fly
moro rapidly anttwe will lie enabled to discuss
the objects ot our society with greater fluency
and clearness. ....
They met yesterday afternoon with Miss
Stewart, at her cozy home on Stockton avenue,
and next Friday will be entertained bv Mrs.
Philip Reymer, of Bldwell street, Allegheny.
The Allegheny County Association of Union
ex-Prisoners ot War will be tendered a benefit
performance and old folks' concert in Curry
Institute Hall, Penn avenue and Sixth street,
on next Tuesday evening. Local dramatic and
musical talent will bet represented. Among
others who will help to mako the affair a suc
cess aro Profs. Blnebart aud Byron W. King.
Tho committee having the arrangement of the
entertainment and concert In band, consisting
ot J. B. Hutchinson, Charles F. Sheriff, B, A.
A, Patterson and D. H. Jones, has omitted
nothing to mako tho evening one of first-class
Mrs. Oliver O. Phillips will tender a
reception to her many friends next Thursday,
at her charming home on Ridge avenue, Alle
gheny. The hours aro from 4 to 6, and
the wealth and fashion of the two cities will
be largely represente'd.
About two dozen gentlemen enjoyed
quail, and all the good .things tbat would de
light the, palate of an epicure, with Mr. J. J.
Brooks at his residence in Edgeworth last
evening. Tbe refreshments were served by
The pupils of Mrs. Anderson's school will
give a parlor entertainment next Tuesday even
ing at 64 Union avenue, Allegheny. Elocution
ary and musical numbers will make a very in
A HlonxT enjoyable eucbre party was given
at the charming borne of Mrs. H. L. Tree, on
Locust street, last evening. The lunch, an un
usually dainty one, was Served by Kennedy.
Tickets for the Nun of Kenmare's lecture
at Lafayette Hall next Tccsday evening aro
having a wonderful sale. Tbey are to be found
at the different religious bookstores.
A rASHlOKABLB reception will be gives
next Wednesday frosi 8 to 6 by Mrs. N. B.
HomcM her her lovely hoaM M Chuefc ave
William Arendt and Mrs. Susan Iseley
were married the other day in tbe Dickinson
county. Kan., poorboose. Tbe groom- i 70 and
the bride t7 years old. It is comfortable to hear
of a wedding occasionally to which no suspicion
of mercenary motives attaches.
Prom 180 to 200 bottle-nosed whales
were driven ashore below Barnstankerness,
Scotland, the other evening. About 20 boats
took part In the exciting chase, and the finish
was witnessed by a large number of people.
Some of tbe whales wero unusually large.
Not everybody is rich enough to lose
$500 without knowing It, but this is what a
Fairfield, Me., woman did. Mrs. H. A. Small
recently found a railroad bond of JoCO that bad
been laid away in an old book for the past ten
years, and which she bad forgotten all about.
It is a curious fact that the wife of Jfr
Chandler, ex-Secretary of the Navy. Is tho
daughter of tbe former Senator Hale, while
the wire oi benator iiaie of the present day Is
a daughter of a former Secretary of the Navy
Chandler. No relationship exists between tba
families. One has a son named Hale Chandler
and the other a son named Chandler Hale.
The Elmira, N. Y., Telegram had two
editorials In the same column of Thursday
issue upon the same subject. One declared
that the contest instituted by MarquU against
Lampson for tbe office of Lieutenant Governor
ot Ohio was a most rlehteonx una while tha
' other denounced tbe entire proceeding as a
vuiainoua icuwiuii; outrage.
Dr. Lewis Heisberger, of Buffalo, asne
cessful physician, died' in that city on Monday
last, and In his will left a codicil devoting 500
for a funeral least for his friends, which took
place yesterday. Champagne and oysters were
the leading courses of the entertainment, and
over 200 people took part in the banquet. A
free concert was also provided In the pro
vided in the programme.
Tha power of one of the greatest politi
cal figures of the day, perhaps of all time, I
said to be on the wane. Tbe Empress Dowager
of China has been shorn of her prestige by the
rebellious independence of the young Emperor.
He refused to see tbe bride which she forced
upon him, and has been issuing vigorous de
crees on his own account. He has been censur
ing the old Ministers right and left; particu
larly Chang Chi Tung.
An extraordinary case came before a'
London Police Court. On a servant girl being
charged with stealing two pairs of boots, it was
stated on her behalf that frequently she was
for a time unaccountable for neractIons;that
on these occasions she did most inexplicable
things, and tbat once, a doctor having certified
that she was dead, she lay three days in a coffin
ready for burial, signs of life being discovered
at the end of that period.
Few good wives object to their husbands
going to the Audubon Club, of Detroit. Who
ever smokes in that club must bring hi own
cigar to the club house, and whoever wants a
drink there must have brought it along with
him a dreadful condition that has not yet
been known In the club. The aim of tbe club
is to provide rooms for reading and card play
ing, but no playing for money Is cermi tted, and
at 10 o'clock sharp every night the club rooms
A very slick man was captured by the
St. Louis police. He gives the name of A.
Fincham, aud is supposed to be a recent arrival
in the city. He has been working a new game
in tbe city for the past few days and met with
signal success until last evening. He has been
representing himself as an agent for an electric
light company with instructions from head-
Suartersto engage board for the employes.
e would go to a house, engage board for a
number of men and then collect SIO, $13 or as
much as be could get from the landlady for
security that she would bo ready to receive the
Northwest of Milan, in the neighbor
hood ot Somma Lombardo, there has recently
been discovered, through the draining of the
large turt moor of La Lagozza, a Lake dwell
ing, which differs in many respects from tho
others in Upper Italy and Switzerland. This
relic of civilization was met with under tbe
peat bog and the underlying layer of mud, tha
former being a meter in thickness and the lat
ter 35 centimeters. The building was rectangu
lar, 80 meters longand 30 meters broad; and be
tween the posts, wblch are still standing up
right, lay beams and half-burnt planks, tbe
latter having been made by splitting the trees
and without using a saw. Pieces of burnt clay,
polished stone hatchets, flint knives and arrow
heads were also found.
Men of the present day who attend tbe
opera and theater and are debarred tbe pleas
ure of seeing the actors aud the stage by tha
hlgb-bat nuisance, may take comfort from tbe
fact tbat their grandfathers and great-grandfathers
suffered a. similar Infliction. In the
European Magazine, publ labed in London, tor
December, 1783. is the rollowingj "It Is tho
fashion in Paris for the ladles to. wear straws-'
hats of a monstrous size, made in imitations of
the areostatic globes; on which account they
are called 'Ies chapeaux au balloon.' It is to
be hoped that tbe whimsical mode will not be
Introduced among the -people of England, as It
would prove still more inconvenient at the play
houses tban tbe lata high heads." And again
we read: "Woe to the frequenters of the play
houses if tho new French balloon hats are ever
brought into fashion here In their present
form." But they were.
Scientific inquirers are puzzled by cer
tain mysterious water-holes in the ledge on tha
shore of the Boothbay Land Company's terri
tory in Maine. They are on the eastern side ot
Spruce Point, close to "Lover's Walk." There
are three of them, eight inches to a foot In
diameter, and about 10 inches deep. They are
bowl-shaped and perfectly circular. Locally
they are ascribed to tbe Indians. Tbey are
supposed to have been used for pounding corn,
but a more inconvenient arrangement cannot
be imagined. Tbe sea fills them twice a day,
and fresh water constantly trickles into them.
In winter they are entirely frozen up. Besides,
the Indians were too lazy to take such pains.
It seem, from the conformations of tbe sur
rounding, country, impossible tbat there could
ever have been a water course there. Their
origin is a mystery. Two are perfect. One has
a cracked side.
The latest and perhaps tha most ingen
ious application of the automatic principle Is to
be found in a machine for banking purposes, in
vented and patented by Mr. John Hope, me
chanical engineer, Liverpool, When a penny or
two half pennies are pressed into Mr. Hope's
automatic bank, the depositor pulls out a
drawer, and finds a printed ticket bearing a
number in duplicate. He writes his name and
address on the ticket, which he then presses
into a cavity in the machine made to receive it,
keeping the otner half with tbe corresponding
number. Thus, when those in charge of the
automatic bank clear it of the tickets in order
to enter them in proper form in their books,
each depositor has the duplicates ot the tickets
bearing bis name and address. In this way ab
solute accuracy Is obtained, and depositors are
credited with the exact amount they have put
into the machine. Each machine is capable of
holding 5 in pennies or half pennies.
MEANT TO AMUSE,
A Burlington man calls his dog "CoTk"
because his bark Is so light. Da Moines Begtster.
Foodlebhoy Not at hornet Why, I .told
ber I'd call this afternoon.
Footman Yes, sir; so she told mewhen she gave
me the message. Judge.
Besident (to organ grinder) If you'll
stop playing White Wings" I'll give yoa 5
Organ Grinder "Sweet Violets," 5 cents,
!W hlte Wings, ". 10 cento.-ie.
A man who was deeply in debt was sick
"An." he sighed. "If I could only Uveuntlll
bad paid off my debts."
Ifumpbl" sneered the doctor, bluntly, "yon
want to live forever, do you?" Texas Sifting.
The orthography of our great-grsud-mothtrs
was uncertain. The old Duchess of Gor
don used to say to her cronies: "You know, my
dear, when I don't know how to spell a word. I
always draw a line under It, and If it Is spelled
wrong It passes for a very good joke, and If It IS
spelled right It doesn't matter-." Argonaut.
Fenderson I'm awfully' puzzled about
what Miss Dazzle said to me last evening. I asked
her If Jmlgbt accompany herto the ball, and sbe
said: Ton know I hare the reputation of having
no nonsense about me. Well, 1 intend to remain
true to my reputation." And while Iwas trying
to think what she meant, she went off without re
membering to answer my question. Life.
A pianist recently spent tbe evening at
the house of a lady. The company was agreeable
and he stayed somewhat late. As he rose to take
his departaro the lady said;, "1'ray don't go yet,
Mr. Jones; I want you to play something for
"Oh, you must excose me to-night; It is very
late, and I should disturb the nelghhots."
".Never mind the neighbors," answered the
young lady quleklyi "theypoUoued our donas.
tcrday." Jfustai Courier.
Alail my summer novel I mourn It with,
aslgh. Thedaylrasbly bought It a friend was
standing by. Forthwith the book he borrowed,
to be returned that night; and since that fatal
moment it ne'er has blessed ay slJtht. He lent it
to his cousin, and sue enjoyed It. so she lent It to
a neighbor, who kept Hon tbe go, and lent It to
her uncle, who lent it to his girl, who lent It to
her teacher, who with another whirl sent It unto a
nephew, who lent It to a friend, who sent it to .a
roommate, arid, oh I where will "d? Through,
out this nuddenlag business, one hope alone I
aee-mayhsplnallthls lending it may be lMrtto
me. Btoomington JSv. rt" .