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ESTABLISHED FEBBTJABY 8. 1H8,
Vol.41. Mo. SIX). Entered at Kttsburgrostoffice,
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P1TTSBDKQ. WEDNESDAY. DEC. 4. 1889.
PKEEIDEHT HABEIS0IT3 MESSAGE.
The first thing which will occur to the
reader of President Harrison's message is
that the present occupant of the "White
House does not mean to follow the example
of President Cleveland, two years ago, and
commit the fortunes of his administration
to a. single issue. President Harrison
touches upon almost every subject in which
Congress or the country has an interest.
As'to a great many of them, he assumes
merely the function of a receiver rather than
that of an originator or advocate of measures.
The general drilt ot the document is con
servative, with a tendency to put upon Con
gress the whole responsibility for inquiring
into details and framing policies. This is
notable in respect to the tariff. President
Harrison recognizes the necessity for a revi
sion of thescbedule of duties, and insists that,
while difficult, it can be accomplished with
out injury to the protection of homeindus
- tries. His position is that a revision of
the tariff must not be made with an eye to
the Treasury alone. He would not revise
it, as his Democratic predecessor recom
mended, ior the mere purpose of cutting
down the surplus. The interests of home
manufactures, and of those engaged in them,
must be primarily considered in whatever is
done. This is undoubtedly the sentiment of
the Bcpublican party. Though President
Harrison affords no sort of help or sugges
tion to Congress as to the details of revision,
he has stated clearly- enough the general
lines upon which it should be conducted.
The next most interesting recommendation
of the message, and one upon which the
President is direct, positive and assuredly
in harmony with the public sense, is that
Congress must provide for transportation
between the United States and the South
American States. This, he points out,
means subsidy for vessels plying be
tween them. Subsidy is a word which,
through past abuses, has fallen into national
ill odor; but it would be puerile to hesitate
where it is clearly the only means of secur
ing those facilities for the extension of trade
of which everybody admits the need. The
instance frequently given in The Dis
patch, of travel from Brazil to the United
States being compelled to take the cir
cuitous route by Liverpool, is mentioned by
the President as a glaring illustration of
the present condition of things.
After the tariff and South American
trade, the topic which this year has loomed
most conspicuously in the foreground is
that of pensions. The President does not
discuss or allude to the perturbations of the
Pensions Bureau during the summer and
fall. He does not go in for what is known
as a general "service" pension, but he
adopts a, proposition which will more
readily be accepted by the country as fair
and even unavoidable. He urges the
granting of pensions to "all hon
orably discharged soldiers and sail
ors who, having rendered substantial
service in the war, are now dependent
upon their own labor for maintenance, and
by disease or casualty are incapacitated
from earning it" He asks that no such
veteran be obliged to depend upon such local
relief as is given to mere pauperC and he
appeals with confidence to the generosity
and public sense of the fitness of things to
sustain such legislation.
On the Southern question the recommen
dation is for the passage of a law taking the
whole processes of Congressional elections
under Federal control. This is a radical
step. It will lead to the hottest partisan
debates in the present session of Congress.
Upon relations with foreign powers the
message is mostly narrative a sort of gen
eral view of the situation unmarked in
any notable degree by suggestions. There
are several other stock subjects which are
treated quite voluminously; but the parts of
tne message which will attract general in
terest are those which have already been
mentioned.
On. the whole, the President's deliverance
is, as might have been expected, neither sen
sational nor venturesome in the matter' of
suggesting new departures. Itis strong and
sensible on at least three of the most impor
tant questions before the country: the tariff,
the extension of our foreign trade, and pen
sions. Host of the other topics taken up are
merely treated in the spirit that it is usdal
for Presidents to say something about them
in their messages, rather than with the con
viction that there are new lights to throw
upon them.
j
EEHAEKA3LE SEUSIBIUTT.
There is food for our special wonder in the
information which purports to come from
Hayti that the appointment of Frederick
Douglass as Minister tothe colored Republic
is very unsatisfactory to that Government
The exquisite reason offered for that dissatis
faction is that if the President of Hayti
gives it state dinner Mr. Douglass will sit at
the same table with the French or British
Minister. The diplomatic sensibility which
will accept the hospitality of a colored Presi
dent but will be wounded by sitting at the'
same table with a colored Minister of the
United States would be something tearfully
and wondcrlnlly made. This, would be
especially so m the case of the French Mini
ster, at whose capital a colored man, Alex
ander Dumas, has been one of the noted lit
erary lights. This remarkable trouble may
be explained by the fact that it comes to us
through some of the naval officers who de
veloped a remarkable epidemic of disability
when ordered to take Mr. Douglass to Hayti
in their vessels.
, IIQfflDATIOinK INSOLVENCIES.
. The one duty which is owing to the unfor
tunate depositors of the Lawrence Bank
and which is indeed due in all cases of in
solvency is to see that the most is made out
of the assets which remain. Itis not surpris
ing therefore Co find the depositors anxiously
pressing for a receiver . That implies no dis
trust of the unexceptionable gentleman
whom the stockholders clioss for assignee,
and who is reported, no doubt correctly, a.R
stating that he will not be soiry to be re
lieved of an. irksome duty. It is simply a
case which may rftsnlt in a conflict of icter
ests in Jbeprocess.cf settlement, and in re-
sped to which the depositors the class who
most need all that can be realized on their
own account are naturally anxious, for .the
selection of an administrate-r in their inter
est , '
But experience shows that whether as
signees, or receiver in cases ot insolvency
are chosen by one side or another, or with
the concurrence of all sides, there is too
frequently cause for complaint and criticism
upon the matter of realizing from' the assets
and distributing the proceeds. Most gener
ally delay is the conspicuous fault, by which
creditors are kept so long out of their share
of the salvage as to make it of little account
beyond a bitter reminder when it reaches
them. Sometimes again, expensive costs of
litigation and fees for services absorb the
greater part of what is left after insolven
cies. Finally, there are numerous instances
where objections are made to properties be
ing sacrificed by injudicious handling, or
for the benefit of others than the creditors.
It is needless to go over the list of such in
stances. Even in the Allegheny courts
there are records of comparatively recent
cases showing the slow and unsatisfactory
progress of such settlements.
As both a speedy and a full realizationis
such a desideratum to the hundreds, often
thousands of people effected by bank sus
pensions, the qualifications of receivers in
such cases are of great importance. Large
financial responsibility and known capacity
are such factors that of late in all the lead
ing cities, Pittsburg among the number,
chartered corporations, with large capital
and trained fiduciary agents, have organized
for executing such trusts under the super- j
vision of the courts. That there was room
for such a division of labor will not be ques
tioned by any one who is familiar with the
difticulties, dissatisfaction and waste which
so often result from the commission of
such work to the private hands of even the
most trusted individuals.
WHICH IS THE FBAT0 1
Senator Farwell announces, in connec
tion with his oft-repeated declaration that
the civil service system is a sham and
fraud, that he will not introduce his bill to
repeal the law, but will kill the system by
refusing appropriations for its support. In
other words, the Senator's appetite for spoils
will develop into an attempt to secure by
indirection what his party will not dare do
directly.
But let us see what this means. The
Senator's party won the last national cam
paign on a platform in which it pledged
itself to maintain and extend the civil
service reform system. The President's
message testifies to the value of that system.
The Senator's idea, therefore, is that his
party shall belie its professions, and the ad
ministration be forced to abandon its princi
ples based on experience, in order that the
Senator and his followers shall have their
hunger for spoils appeased.
This maces it the question not whether
the reform, but whether Senator Farwell or
his party are the sham and fraud. Let us
nope that it may prove to be only the
Senator, as that would be nothing novel.
COUGHLIN'S DEFENSE
Some of the most remarkable logic ever
heard, in or out ot a' court of justice, is be
ing used for the benefit, presumably, of the
defendants in the Cronin case. Judge "Wing
has particularly distinguished himself by
the extraordinary arguments he has present
ed for his client, the Detective Coughlin.
He has insisted that the finding of two
knives, supposed to belong to the murdered
man. in Coughlin's pockets, cannot by any
means incriminate Coughlin, because, if in
nocent, Coughlin could not have had Dr.
Cronin's property in his, possession, and if
guilty, he would not have taken the risk of
keeping the knives. If the jury accept this
kind of reasoning none of the prisoners will
be convicted.
The argument for the moment, it cannot
be denied, is plausible, and, if it were a fact
that men who shed their fellows' blood al
ways did take every precaution against de
tection, would really have a little weight
But the records of crime have taught us that
a murderer often plans and provides fully
and skillfully for his safety up to a certain
point, and then by some glaring blunder
knots the noose about his neck. The fact
that the knives were found in Coughlin's
possession if it is certain that they were
once Dr. Cronin's only proves that the de
tective was singularly sure suspicion would
not reach him, or else that he merely made
a blunder such as other criminals in similar
circumstances have made. The attorneys
for the State will probably point out the
L flaw in Judge "Wing's logic
The Cronin trial has not been remarkable
for anything more than the attempt of the
prisoners' attorneys to supply the want of
evidence in their clients' favor by darin.tr
distortions of fact and logio in their argu
ments. To A sensitive Irish correspondent, who
imagines some disrespect to bis race in oursug
geetion ot a Htbernlanlsm in the statement
that "27 farms within four miles of Brooklyn,
Conn., are for sale at half their value, ith the
buildings thrown in," we tender the most sin
cere assurances of onrrespect and affection for
the variety of wit about which Lever wrote,
and which Sir Boyle Roche illustrated. Never
theless, we must insist that when 27 farms in a
single locality are for sale at a' certain rate the
valne of land in that locality is no more than Is
asked for it
The coming appointment of a receiver
for the Lawrence Bank bids fair to make the
term of the assignee a short one. That shonld
be an incentive to the latter to signalize his
incumbency by getting out an accurate and full
statement of the condition of the bank.
These is a good deal of satisfaction in
the reflection that while the Republican cau
cus declarod that it would have none but parti
san prayers, the Honse promptly, smashed the
Bcpublican slate on the chaplaincy.
"With three Aldermen and four detectives
of Pittsburg behind prison bars, how is the city
government of Pittsburg to get on V This
editorial remark from thb Louisville Courier
Journal is intended to be sarcastic, as that co
temporary is fond of imagining itself to be, at
the expense of Pittsburg. Its main success.how
ever, is in demonstrating the Courier Journal1 s
entire ignorance of the tact that Aldermen and
private detectives have no connection whatever
with the municipal government of Pittsburg.
The small majority for the .Republican
party in the House of Representatives is al
ready shown to be liable to result in the fail
ure ot caucus dictates. This will be no detri
ment to the public and 'may prove no worse for
the Republican party in the long run.
The lawyers for the defense in the Cronin
trial come near to a partial agreement with
public opinion, in arguing that expert testi
mony does not amount to much when it Is on
the other side.
The statement that a gang of rioters out
in Wisconsin lynched an old man for talking
hardly about Ms creditors rljo bad sold him
out appears almost Incredible; put the stoiy is
given in such detail as to leave little doubt that
this is one of the results of cultivating the mob
Idea, that it is right for a crowd to take life
when It sees fit If Wisconsin law is worth
anything at all for the protection of its citizens, .
iErarSBJOBGl
3!TTr "
it will put the participants in that lynching . beo
into close relations with the gallowsV"- .
Princk Albert Victor's escape from
te elephants, and tigers of India is reported
just in time to show that Begot away from
tbein a good deal more rapidly tban was noted
in bis evasion of too elephants and tigers of
London.
A decided denial appears elsewhere, of
the story that it is the Western Cattle Company
in which the Greene county people invested
their earnings that is breaktne them up. But
what is it I
Ix is rather remarkable to find the Phila
delphia .Press declaring that in exchange for
the art and bric-a-brac that is coming from Eu
rope, "all that is valuable, lasting and demo
cratic in American Government is going backt
to Europe." It might be possible for an ex
tremely pessimistic view "to declare that this
country is losing all that is valuable, lasting
and democratic; but it is an original discovery
on the part of the esteemed Press that Europe
is getting it away from us.
Colonel O'BxENB states that he has
taken his refuge in New Jersey in defense of
the right of the citizen to his liberty. . The
liberty to pocket $13,000 of, "fees" raised to in
fiuence legislation is certainly worth defend
ing. A New York court has decided that the
business of importing French milliners most be
stopped. This will make it a necessity for the
ladies of fashion to bny all their bonnets in
Paris.
New researches have developed the fact
that the Egyptian obelisk, known as Cleo
patra's Needle, in Central .Park, cannot stand
our climate. wnen we consmer tne
meteorological record of the past year, it looks
as if Cleopatra's Needle were in the decided
majority.
The athletic grounds at Princeton have
been made twice as large as before, and the
representatives of the college recently won the
football match. Who says that Princeton is
not in the front rank of educational progress T
Pittsbubg extends her aid to Baltimore
in getting a belt line railroad track. Is it the
theory that belt lines are an excellent thing
everywhere but in the Pennsylvania cities.
President Harbison guards against
Cleveland's mistake ot giving the entire spaco
of his message to a single policy, and spreads
his summary of national matters over the whole
country in a way that is calculated to arouse
the suspicion that he has no policy at all.
PEOPLE OP PROMINENCE.
The Chinese Minister at Washington is fond
of walking, and goes about town atoot a great
deal.
The marriage of Miss Margaret Blaine to
"Walter Damrosch will take place on Shrove
Tuesday.
Senator Beck is still an invalid, and his
physicians tell him he must do little or no
work during the present session of Congress.
Judge Allison, of Philadelphia, has com
pleted his thirty-eighth year on the bench as
Judge of the Court of Common Pleas, Oyer
and Terminer and Quarter Sessions. He sat in
the new Court House Monday, whero he re
ceived many congratulations from the District
Attorney's office and members 'of the bar.
AdmteaIj Veil, of the Chilian Navy, who is
temporarily attached to his country's Legation
at Washington, is a man of medium height
and soldierly bearing. He commanded an
iron-clad during the war of 1877-78 between
Chili and Fern. He is a diplomat as well as a
military man, speaks English fluently, and has
sailed aronnd the world.
The Greek colony in Smyrna presented two
carpets of the finest texture to the Crown
Prince of Greece at his recent marriage. They
were made by some nf the best workmen in
the village of Ousakion. which is noted for the
excellent quality and beauty of its carpets.
Both were made from the wool of Angora
goats. During the last 30 years only two other
carpets of such fineness have been made In the
Levant
Speaking of the wife of Secretary Busk a
correspondent says: "Mrs. Rusk has the
bountiful, Kindly nature of a Western woman.'
She is motherly in appearance, and, like Mrs.
Miller, she has taught her daughter to make
bread. The one sorrow of her life was the loss
of her youncest daughter fonr years aco, and
she cannot speak of it yet without tear-dimmed
eyes. She is noted in Wisconsin for her house
wifery, and even now she goes into her kitchen
to prepare some delicacies of which she alone
knows the art
TOM EEED'S FIRST SPEECH.
A Recltntlon by n Tow-Headed Boy Tlrat
Made n Great Hit.
Brldgton (Me. ) tetter to "Washington Fost.l
The first public speech Tom Reed was ever
known to have made, and which auteaates by
at least a decade his private address to Judge
Carter, is amusingly described by Mrs. LIbby,
an elderly matron of Old Orchard, for which
account 1 am Indebted to Edgar Yates.
"I carried Tom Reed to school the first day
he ever went," said Mrs. Lihhy, as she
smoothed her apron with her hands. "It was
to the school on Bracket street in Portland.
Thomas was a tow-headed little fellow then.
His cheeks were fat and his eyes as round as
buttons. I know I wanted awfully to take him
to school that day and so did another girl I'
don't remember her name and we had a regu
lar sqnabble over the little fellow to see who
shonld take him. I remember he sat as still as
a mouse. "We used to have speaking poetry
every Saturday then. Once when we were all
done the teacher asked: 'Are there any others
who have a piece they can speak? Up got
Thomas and said: 1 know one:
Old Jim Crow came riding by.
Says I, ''Old man. your horse.wlll die."
Says he. "If he dies I'll tan his skin.
And if he lives I'll ride him again."
And that's all I know.1
"That is, I suppose, the first speech Thomas
ever made. I wonder it he remembers it now.
He had a funny little voice, but he was so earn
est about reciting his piece that it made us all
lauzh."
TRI-STATE TRIFLES.
A few nights ago Ezra King,living in Charles
town, Chester county, raffled of a full-grown
mule with well-developed ears and hind legs.
When the lucky (I) person went after, bis prize
on the following morning hfs muleship was cold
in death. Death was caused by old age and
grief over the fact that the raffle tickets were
not paid tor.
The big dog he was fondling in his arms
saved the life of a gunner at Pittsburg by in
tercepting a stray bullet which would have en
tered the man's body had not the dog received
,it The animal was killed instantly.
A Lancaster county for chase was post
poned because the fox was so well contented
thathe could not be driven from his cage.
AHarrisbtjr'Q woman placed her sleeping
infant on a railroad seat and covered it with a
newspaper. A careless drummer came in and
sat down on it
In repairing an old house near Newport
Ohio, the workman found a small box which
had been hidden in the top of an old clothes
press or closet Upon opening the box they
discovered a small bag containing some hun
dred and fifty dollars in old gold coin. The
coin had apparently lain undisturbed for years.
Mr. Davis, who made the find, turned the
money over to Mrs. McRay, the owner of the
house, who made him a present of a twenty
dollar gold piece.
ATCardlngton.O., a great rat hunt of two
weeEs' duration ended Saturday night Lin
coln Shaw and Al G ruber 'were captains of
teams. Whole number of rats killed was 6,035.
Shaw's team got 823, the most Tho defeated
team furnished the oyster supper for all.
Elizabeth Conkerkous, who resided near
Waverly, 0 died the other day. Sho was IS
years old and weighed 700 pounds.
A West Virginia paper advocates using
the public school money for two years to build
roads and bridges
x AH Were In Eurnrsl.
From the Cincinnati Enquirer.:
Of the fire candidates for Speaker, before the
.Republican caucus each voted. 'for himself;'
-There "was no nonsense about that- .
mwmpm
THETOPJOffi TAliKER.
Society Saeeesa Wea't Go. for Everything
In the National 'GBardAn Appeal to Vox
FophII-GgmIj. er Big Soldlcrs-Seuntor
Quay's Admirable Taste In Books,
After an officer has been jelected in the Na
tlonal Guard ho has to pas a. more or less se
vere examination before a military board be
foro he receives his commission. The examina
tion is not restricted topurely military subjects,
hot includes matters ot general information, A
wise provision doubtless, for an officer is none
tho less efficient as a soldier If he be intelligent
and well informed as a citizen.
Some funny results ;ot these examinations
occur, I am told. Not20 years ago certainly
not so far back into the past a young man who
had been elected to a captaincy in a Pennsyl
vania regiment was up before the Examining
Board. The Colonel of tbe-r egiment was very
anxious the young man should pass, and did his
best to persuade his brethren op the. board to
give the candidate his commission. But the
luckless Lieutenant, though of- good standing
in society, and a success in the Guard,
displayed hopeless ignorance as regards mat
ters with which a school bov.of 14 is expected
to be acquainted. Finally he was- asked to
compute the interest on 300 at 6 per cent for
one year, and his failure to even hazard agness
ruined his nhances. .
It happened that the next man examined was
a man who, as the ndicnlqus phrase goes, had
no standing whatever in society. He followed
a trade, and doubtless a better workman than
he in that trade does not exist But it was no
secret that the man's calling was regarded
with disfavor by the body of officers whose
number be aspired to join. He was put through
his oaces sharply, and bis examination was as
stiff as it was comprehensive. But he answered,
every question correctly, and the presiding of
ficer of the board caidr "Gentlemen, there Is
no possible excuse for rejecting this man," and
ho was given his commission,
"VOX POPTTLI," COMB FORTH 1
Ah I now Is the time for the sage to arise
From the classic Squawdunk -with nro In his eyes.
And a pen In his little right hand.
To wrestle with Congress with might and with
main,
Regardless of Riving those Congressmen pain
"Vox 'Populi, " rise to command 1
Ton mayn't know tbe dlffTcncc, exactly, be
tween Free trade and protection; they're many, I ween,
Who don't in this prosperous land.
But that needn't hinder yon writing all day
As itwitb both theories you were aufalt
'Vox Populi, " rise to command I
The country is dying to know what you think.
You've all that is needed-pen, paper and ink,
And lots of what you may call "sand."
Give the Senate a slap or two. castigate (nay,
Let Reed know he's running the Bouse the wrong
way
"Vox Populi, rise to command I
The editors cry for jou; "everyone knows
How craven the press in Its opulence grows.
Faith, Congress would never get tanned
If you, my bold sir, with anonymous veil
And Inky Impunity, didn't assail
"Vox Populi, " ri6e to command I
H. 3.
V
TnET tell of another lieutenant, whose em
phatic candor once electrified an examining
board. The man was a soldier of no mean rep
utation, who bad seen service and shown gal.
lantry during tbe war of the Rebellion. He was
up for examination on promotion, and the
board, knowing his competency, thought they
would have a little f nn with him.
"Now. sir," said Colonels to the victim,
"supposing jour regiment was engaged, and had
lost every commissioned officer but yourself,
and tbe enemy was advancing upon you in
overwhelming numbers, what would you do?"
"I should hand over my command to the
sergeant major, and tell him to lead tbe boys
to 1"
Of course, the examination of Colonel Nor
man Smith recently upon re-election was, and
of right should have been, only a formality.
Nobody's going around at this late day asking
about Colonel Smith's soldierly qualifications.
All the same there was a deliciously laugha
ble half minute for Colonel Smith and his
brother officers on the hoard when Colonel
Krepps, of the Fifteenth Regimert said to
Colonel Smith: "Colonel, be good enough to go
through the manual of arms,"
Something like asking a grizzled leader of the
bar to repeat the Magna Cbarta verbatim.
Of conrse Colonel Smith did not have to go
through the trial.
There is, I believe more truth in the story
that Senator Quay's principal recreation is
sip printed about prominent men.
Long before Mr. Quay dreamed of anything
bigger in a political way than the supremacy of
Beaver, he used r tbe noted for his love of
books of all kinds', and fiction In particular.
You were liable in those days to find him, so
an old acquaintance of the-Senator tells me,
lounging about his father's house, or on the
nver bank, book in hand, and in a costume
queerly neglige, of which the pendant suspen
ders were tbe most striking feature.
Senator Qnay buttons up his suspenders
carefully now, but such leisure as he has a
quantity too small to be easily computed is
still devoted to novels and the like.
SENATOR WAT'S RECREATION.
Senator Quay's only recreation lies in novel
reading. He is very fond of Fielding, Dickens,
Bui wer and Thackeray.
'TIs fitting I fancy for Senator Quay
To fly for relief from political strife
To novels not weary ones born' of to-day
But old-fashioned pictures of manners and life.
For your true politician Inst revels In plots,
And Dickens and Thackeray valued them too;
Tying manifold threads into manifold knots, ,
With ardor our prophets are bound to pooh
pooh. To Bulwer's fine fiddling I'd listen thd least;
The brave heart of Fielding had better be thine,
For Politics ever 'a a treacherous beast
And a party's not easy to keep well In line.
We wish you all loy of yonr cstholle taste
In reading, U Senator all one exacts
That turning from fiction' to action in haste
You shall give to your countrymen nothing but
facts.
H.J.
IESTERDAI IN CONGRESS.
Both Branches do Little Except to Listen to
the Message.
Washington, December 3. In the Senato
to-day, immediately after the reading of yes
terday's journal, a message from tbe Honse
was presented by its clerk, Mr: McPhcrson,
announcing tbe organization of that body. Mr.
Edmunds, onthe part qf the joint committee
to wait on the President, reported that iWhad
performed that duty, and had been informed
by tbe President that he would communicate
with the two Houses by a message in writing
immediately. Thereupon a message from the
President was announced. The messago was'
received, and tho Secretary of the Senate, Mr.
McCook, proceeded to read it At the con
clusion of the reading ot tbe President's mess
age, at 125.P. M., the Senate adjourned until
to-morrow.
In the House, Immediately after reading tho
journal, the committee appointed to wait npon
the President and inform him that tbe House
was organized and ready to proceed to busi
ness, appeared in the main aisle, apd, through
its Chairman, Mr. McKlnley, Informed, the
House that it bad performed its duty, and that
the President would communicate with tho
House in writing forthwith. Mr. Pruden, one
of the President's secretaries. Ihen delivered
the message, which was immediately read by
the clerk. When the reading of the President's
message was concluded tho Speaker appointed
Messrs. Bayne, Hitt Carter, Culbertson (Texas)
and Cummings as a Committee on tbe Centen
nial Celebration. The House then, at 2:15 r. jr.,
adjourned until Thursday.
An Undisputed Assertion.
from the Baltimore American.
If Chicago wants to represent the' sentiment
of this country she will 'stop gambling in the
necessities of life. Her big corners In com are
not honest business.
DEATHS ,0t; A J)AY.
Hon. Caleb E. Wright.
Dotlxstown, Pa., December J.-Hon, Caleb
E. Wright died suddenly Tcs'erdlTi at his home
in this place. In bis 70th year. Mr. Wtlgbt was
born in Wllkesbarre, Februarys,. IS'0. He was
admitted to the bar September 8, 1S33. In 110 he
was appointed, by Governor Porter, Deputy At
torney Usneral of the State. In IMS he removed
to Wll'tcfbarrc, where, with hlf brothers, l.e
practiced his prolesslon until 1870. when here
iuriieo lo Doyleetowu. iir. Wrlghlwasn lll'clou
Democrat, and In lSOGwa appointed, by Presi
dent Johnson, Collector of Internal Kevenue.ror
tbe Luzerne District. ' lie was a member or the
Constitutional Convention which framed the
present Constitution ofPcnnsylvanla. lie was an
author of considerable celebrity,
T&8ME
. -".:- t. k
- ' i fi-'3wrtiiyr3niOT' -".
The, First Social Appearance of-Mi Annie
Rhodes Was a TrlmBph The Club Thea
ter the Scene of (ho Event,
Miss Annie Rhodes, with tbe most brilliant
assemblage of wealth and beauty, made her de
but into society proper last evening.
Tbe event forming the keynote of her social
career was a brilliant ball given by her mother,
Mra. Joshua Bhodes,in the Pittsburg Club
Theater. Standing among a bevy of fair ladies,
Mrs. Joshua Rhodes, Mrs. O. ii Magee, Mrs.
Ross Proctor, Miss May Rhodes and Miss
Bycrs, tho fair debutante acknowledged the
compliments and congratulations of her
friends in the early evening. Later on a german
of 80 people was led bv Mr. W. W. Willonk,
Mr; J. D. Lyon, Mr. W. J. Patton and Mr;
James Wood.
The Cello of the evening looked dangerously
lovely in her pretty debntauto gown of white,
draped in intricate simplicity, and she prom
ises to be a reigning belle and a general favor
ite in the exclusive circles of Pittsburg society.
As last evening's event was really tbe open
ing ot th season for the cotillon set the array
of lovely costumes was simply dazzling in their
boauty and magnificence.
The cozy little theater of tbe club house
donned a most attractive dress of luxuriant
green, with dashes of bright flowers peeping
out here and there. Toerge Bros.' Orchestra
sent forth its sweetest strains to culde the
dancers through tho mazy figures. The supper
was served in an exquisite manner by the club's
chef, and reflected credit upon him.
Altogether the appointments of the event
from, beginning to end were exceptionally
choiccVand Miss Rhodes was launched in tbe
whirl of society in a manner that would de
light any maiden's beast The company was
quite a youthful one, and seldom if over has
such an aggregation of beauty been seen in
x-iitsourg.
BT. CRISPIN'S FAMILY.
They Will Emerge Christmas Dor at the
Fourth Avenue BaptUt Chnrcb.
A large family, consisting of 24 little folks ot
assorted ages and sizes, will appear with their
mother, "The old woman," who, tradition says,
"lived in the shoe," at the Fourth Avenue Bap
tist Church Christmas afternoon.. The visit
will "bo made for tbe amusement of the Sunday
School and Industrial School of that church.
The old woman of the novel habitation will
be represented by Miss Lizzie Mabon, and her
family will include Masters Lois Richardson,
Lawrence Grose, Willie Wood, Karl Lewis,
Paul Willetts, Walter Douglas, George English,
George Everson, Em Willetts, Willfe McEnul
ty. Misses Harriet Connor, Qwennie Evans,
Oracle Everson, Bessie Richardson, Gertie
Stanley and several other tiny mortals. They
will each represent some one of Mother Goose's
characters and a decidedly picturesque and en
joyable entertainment is expected. The com
mittee in charge are Mrs. W. E. Lincoln, Chair
man; Mrs. J. H. Btauff, Miss Lillian.
Beethoven Music Recital.
The Beethoven Quartet Club will give its sec
ond muslo recital to-morrow afternoon, com
mencing at 330, in Hamilton's Music Hall.
Profs. Fred and George Toerge. Carl Better,
Charles Cooper and Mrs. W. B. Wolfe and Miss
Agnes Vogel will take part
Social Chatter.
The Interrogation Club was entertained by
Mr. Josoph Albree at his borne on Ridge ave
nue, between tho hour's of 4 and 7, yesterday.
The members of the clnb are Revs. J. C.
White. D, D., E. P. Cowan, D. D.. B. F. Wood-
burn, D. D., J. W. Bproull, D. D., George L.
Purves, D. D., C. E, Yelton, D. D W. Y. Con
ner, Prof. D. S. McClenebau, M. R. MacKay,
A. J. Bonsall, John H. Prugb, George Hodges
and Mr. Albree. Rev. A. J. Bonsall, of Roches
ter, will read a paper on "Conditional Immor
tality." Society ovents will be numerous in Brad
dock during the present month. On Friday
night of this week the annual reception of the
Braddock Club will be held, and on the 19th
Inst a grand promenade hop will be given
under the auspices of the Montefioro Associa
tion, a Hebrew organization. On the night
following ibe Ideal Social will hold their second
select reception, and on New Year's night the
fourth annual entertainment by the Jr. O. U.
A. M. will be given.
Thr wedding of Miss Mary Isabella Coyle, of
Sharpsburg, and Mr. Walter Koch was solemn
ized last evening at 6 o'clock. Miss Coyle is a
daughter of the cashier of the F. & M. Bank,
and Mr. Koch is one of the superintendents of
the Spang Steel Works, at Etca. The young
couple will spend the winter in England, the
home of tbe groom.
The Festival of Days will be held at the same
time, and certainly will be a very unique affair.
'There will be six booths, representing the dif
ferent days of the week, and tbe duties of the
housekeeper on each day will be suggested at
tbe different booths by tho articles for salo and
the costume worn by the ladles in charge.
Miss Grace Seaman, of Forty-fourth
street, entertained a nnmber of her friends last
evening, in honor of her guest Miss Reppert, a
Pittsburg lady who was transplanted to the
West some time ago, but returned to visit old
friends.
Mr. Donlap, a returned Slam missionary,
will address the quarterly missionary meeting
of the Presbyteries to-day at the First Presby
terian Chnrcb, Allegheny.
The Ladies Aid Society of the .Fourth
Avenue Baptist Church will serve an elaborate
dinner and supper in their church to-morrow.
The Lafayette Club holds its reception at
new Turner Hall this evening. Gefnert Bros,
will be in attendance.
Miss Amelia Stevens, with agay company
of friends, danced ber birthday eve away last
night
The Woman's Club bad its regular meeting
in the Teachers' Library-yesterday afternoon.
The Walker reception occurs this afternoon.
A EAPIDIil GR0WLNS FUND
For tbe Belief of tbe Families of the Fire
Victims.
Chicago, December 3. Responses to the ap
peal for aid to tbe familes of the two Associ
ated Press men who lost their lives In tbe ser
vice at Minneapolis are coming in handsomely,
and already exceed $2,000. Colonel Elliott F.
Shepard, of the New York Afa and Exprest,
sends a check for- J20: Erastus Winian, of R.
G. Dun & Co., 200: Colonel Clapn of the Bos
ton Journal, $200, on behalf ot New England
Associated Press; Mr.Abell.of the. Baltimore
Sun. SoO: General Agnus, of tbe Baltimore
American, 30; D. M. Houser, of St Louis
Globe-Democrat, S100; John A. Dillon," of Post
JJitpatch, J100: the St Louis Republic. -3500;
Colonel Driscoll, of tho Pioneer Press, $50; R.
F. Radebaugb, of Tacoma Ledger. siCQ; E. H.
Perdne, of Cleveland leader, S50; Pittsburg
Dispatch, S35; Colonel G. W. Childress Nash
ville American, S25: Illinois Staatz Zeilung,
23: Salt Lake Tribune, 20: East Saginaw
Arete, $10; Fort Worth 'Gazette, S10; Daven
port Democrat-Gazelle, J10; H. Uotis. Los
Angeles, S10; 8. J. Fllckcngcr. of Columbus
Journal, 810; W. D. Briokell. Columbus Dis
patch. 810; Seattle Post-Intelligencer, J10t W.
O. Connelly. Jr., Pittsburg, Jlo; Major W. H.
Cbamherlin, Cincinnati, (5.
san Francisco, wita customary promptness,
telegraphed $500. The operators on the wire
worked bypoor Igoe subscribed 255 tbe first
to respond, a no empiuyea ui iijjj piew iotk
offico gave Silt
What uu Election Costs.
From the Chicago Times.
Twenty-five years ago it cost a Member' of
Congress 8200 for election expenses. Now if a
Congressman saves enough out of the SlO.OCOhe
gets in his two years' service, after paying his
election expenses, to settle his washing bill be
Is lucky, . '
An.Honest Sinner.
From the Hancock Herald. J
It is reported that at a Susquehanna prayer
meeting tbe other night a young man arose and
said: "Brethren, I am a great sinner, and I am
determined to hold out to tho end."
ONE WORD.
"Write me an epic. " the warrior said
"Victory, valor and glord wed.'"
'Prithee, a ballad, " exclaimed the knight
"Prowess, adventuro and faith unite."
"An ode to freedom, " the patriot cried
"Liberty won ana wrong defied. "
"Give meadrams," the scholar asked
The inner world in the outer masted."
"Frame mo a sonnet V the artist prayed
"Power and passion In harmony played."
"Sing mc a lyric," the maiden sighed
, "A. lark note waking the morning wide."
. "Nay. all too long," said the busy age,
'Write me a line.instcad ot a page."
Tho swift years spole, the poet heard,
' "Your poem write in a single word."
lie looked In the maiden's glowing eyes,
A moment glanced at the starlit skies:
, From the lights below to the lights above,
rAna irtote throne word poem-Love.'"
!.- 1 Wallace 'Bruct.
GOTHAM'S QOislP.
' Mrs. Sjfi"wirt!i Wants nn BarlyTrtal."
t NEW Y04& BCKEAU SFICTALS.1
New Yobk, December a Mrs. Banna B.
8outb.worib,'tbe.murderess of.Stephen Pettua.
of Brooklyn,; waa halt carried into JlieCourt of
Oyer and Terminer this morning, to bear tho
the da7 set for ber trial. She-was whits and
haggard and trembling; She wore a well-fitting
brown gown, a fashionable brown turban.
a heavy brown veil, and brown gaiters over the
tops of her patent leather shoes. Tbe Assist
ant District Attorney asked that the dato.of
the trial bo set as far as ahead as possible.
Mrs. Southwortb'a counsel strenuously objected
to any such delay. He said that bis. client was
racked by disease, both mental and physical,
and that for- humanity's sake sho shonld bo
tried at once., There would bo" no denial of the
killing, ie said, prof the immediate incidents
connected with It The Judge promised to
think about tho matter a day or two, and Airs.
Southworth was led back to jaiL '
Wants No More Notoriety.
Tbe last chapter in tbe legal record of tbe
Robert Ray Hamilton scandal was concluded
in tbe Court ot General Sessions to-day.
Joshua J. Mann, tbe lover of Hamilton's wife,
and Mrs. Anna Swlntoq, his mother, were ar
raigned to answer indictments for palming off
a 810 bogus baby upon Mr. Hamilton as hl3 own
child, and for obtaining $500 from him by false
pretenses. To the amazement ot every one in
court the Recorder called the two prisoners to
tbe bar, and Informed them that they were at
liberty to go oh their own recognizances. 'This
was practically discharging them. Mann walked
straight out Of court. Mrs. Swinton tried to fol
low him, but sank to the floor In a dead faint
half way down the aisle. She was carried out
by a court officer, and revived. The reason for
tbe virtual abandonment of the prosecution is
that the District Attorney could not get Rob
ert Ray Hamilton to appear against tho per
sons who duped him. Hamilton Is tired ot his
notoriety, and more tban willing to let the case
drop.
Money Asked for to Entertain With.
The Mayor told the Aldermen at their meet
ing to-day that the delegates to the Pan-Elec-tric
Congress would visit this city on December
10, and asked that an appropriation of 5,000 bo
made to Suitably entertain them. Arnold
offered a resolution to tho samo effect Both
propositions were laid oyer under tbe rules, as
they called for the expenditure of money.
There is no donbt the resolution will be passed.
A Countto Be Breakfasted.
Several gentlemen interested in the advocacy
of international copyright have arranged to
give a breakfast at Delmonico's, next Satur
day, to Count Emile De Keratry, now in this
country as the authorized representative of the
sentiment on this suoject ot the Societe des
Gens do Lettres, Societe Ces Auturs Dramati
qus, and other French literary societies. The
committee of arrangements consist of W. H.
Appleton, Edward Eggleston. Joseph W. Har
per, Richard Watson Gilder, Henry Holt A
D. F. 'Randolph, Chorles Scribner, Brander
Matthews, Laurence Hutton and R. V. John
son. 'Straggling for Some Taxes.
The District Attorney to-day petitioned the
surrogate to compel the estate of William H.
Vanderbiltto pay over $55,000 due under tho
collateral inheritance law. The institutions
bound by tho law in question received under
tho will about 81.000,000, and no tax has ever
been paid upon tbe legacies. It being assumed
that they were exempt from taxation. The
matter will come up for argument In a short
time.
Shot Himself to .Get Oat of the War.
Samuel Levy, manager of tbe Oriental The
ater in the Bowery, tried to commit suicide at
his house this morning by shooting himself in
tho headwith a revolver. Tbe bullet inflicted
only a flesh wound in bis cheek. He was taken
to a hospital, and to-night is reported to be
doing welt, Mr. Levy's attempt upon his life
was the result of' business troubles. Tbe
Oriental Theater has long been a Jonah for
about everyone who backed It financially. For
merly it was given over wholly to blood and
thunder shows, calculated to please a Bowery
andience. Recently Mr. Levy has tried to pull
it - ent of' tbe financial slouch. His efforts
were unsuccessful. His money was gone, and
the debts of the theater were dailv increasing.
It is thought that he shot himself so as to be
out of the way when tho final collapse came.
0US ffAffi"0IJClL
The Orisln of ftlormonlsin.
To tbe Editor of The Dispatch:
An article was recently published in The
Dispatch treating of Mormopism. I may be
able to add some further facU of' interest.. A
few years ago I visited Amity, Washington
connty. Pa., gaining facts from the old inhabi
tants, and especially from the histories of
Washington county, revealing tbe following:
A mity was locatedby Daniel Dodds in the year
1790. Here, in the year 1818, Mormonism was
started by Rev. Solomon Snalding, a grad
uate of Dartmouth College. He died here
and was buried close to the Presbyterian
Church. The gravestono bears marks made by
relic seekers, as it has been chipped and almost
all carried away. When Rev, Spalding settled
here be was not able to preach, and was notori
ous for hunting for American antiquities, such
as mounds, for the pnrpo3e of tracing the abo
rigimesto the "original source" a portion of
tne iosr tnoe oi israei. vv one pursuing inese
investigations and to while away the tedious
hours he wrote a romance, leaving tbe reader
unaer tne impression tnat ne naa gainca nis
knowledge from plates found in tbe mounds,
containing theheiroglyphics. which he had de
ciphered. He often amused his friends by read
ing parts of his f abulons story.
After bis composition had formed many
cbaptars he resolved to publish the work under
the name of "The Manuscript Found." and
entered into a contract with Mr. Patterson, of
Pittsburg, to publish the same. For some
cause the contract was not fulfilled. The
manuscript remained in Mr. Patterson's pos
session about three years, until Mr. Spalding
called for it In tbe meantime a journeyman
printer by tbe name of Sydney Rlgdon copied
the whole of the manuscript, and bearing of
Joseph Smith, Jr.. digging for money by tbe
aid of necromancy, Rigdon resolved in bis own
mind to make it profitable to himself. An In
terview took: place between him and Smith.
Terms were acreed noon, tbe whole manu
script underwent a partial revision, and in proc
ess oi time, instead or nnuing money, tne
find curious plates, wblcb. when translated
turned out to be tbe Golden Book of Mormon,
which according to the prediction contained in
these words (see Mormon Bible, page 604): "Go
to the land of Anturn. nnto a hill which shall
be shown, and there I have deposited unto tbe
Lord all tbe sacred engravings concerning this
people."
Such is the account of tbe most stupendous
delusion that has been perpetrated, for many
centuries. To place this fact beyond a doubt
and to prove that tbe book of Mormon was
originally written in Amity, Washington
county, the following names stand as witnesses:
nev. J. w: Hamilton, pastor oi rresDjtenan
Chnrcb at Amity; J. Miller, Esq., who made the
coffin for Bev. Mr. Snalding; a letter from Mrs.
Spalding and John Spalding, a brother; A. Ely,
D. D., pastor ot Congregational Chnrcb, Mon
son, O.t D. K. Ely, principal of MonsonAcad
emy: Henry Lake. Aaron Wright and Dr.
Hurlbut, of Salem, O. J. Beahee.
Manor Station, Decembers.
A Schoolmaster Abroad.
To the Editor of The Dispatch :
In an editorial which appears in to-day's
Dispatch, alluding to "an esteemed cotem
porary," the writer says: "We observe the
statement that within four miles of a Connecti
cut town there aro 27 farms that can be bought
lor half the.value of the land with the build
ings thrown in." "The statement of the value
is redolent ot a Hibernian origin, as the value
of land, like any other thing, is generally what
it will bring;" Now with all due respect to the
writer, I think he falls into the same blunder of
Which ho speaks, and which he charges to
"Hibernian origin." If the value of the land
or anything "generally" what it will bring,
it follows that, at least sometimes say, once or
twice, or even 27 times it will not brine Its
value. This is necessarily Implied, if not ex-i
pressed) by the word "generally." bnt this
statement of tbe writer is jnst what he
ha . beon trying to criticise and turn
into a joke. Suppose 1 were to state that this
editorial joke was not worth half the value put
upon it by its writer, would my statement be
"redolent of a Hibernian origin?"
Newspaper men would do well to remember
that tbe "schoolmaster Is abroad" In our time,
and that such a statement will not pass for wit
even though it contain ajoke at tbe expense of
the Irish. F, Keane.
PrrTspTrao, December!
This IUny be News Out West.
from. tho Alta C-iHfbmla.l
Pitfsburgisnolongerthe "SmokjrCity." Its
nickname is changed to "the Gas' City," for
natural gas has taken the place of coal in all its
manuf ctorqs. You can no longer tell a Pitt.
burj;crby bis complexion resembling the inside
ot an old pipe. ' - -
r(
cijiious;
"fHKKyj
ii
xvyf s.
George Mollenkoff, of Pendletonr Ore.,
found on his ranch the bones of mastodon
that must have been 11 feet high. .''.'-;' -
Taverns may be traced to the.thirteenth
century. According to Spelman.'in theeign
of King Edward Hi, only three taverns were
allowed in London. Taverns ware licensed in
England In 1751 .. , .t'i ,. i
Mrs. "Wilson Beid, who lives' near
Sampson's Mills, Oregon, was dressing a grouse
for ber husband's dinner one day last week;
Its crop held a nice gold nugget worth'SOt
Hubby ate tbe bird, but madam bought a pair
of nice shoes.
In Suwannee, county, FJa.,recentIjv ,.
minister of certain denomination was converted
through the preaching ot amlnister of different,
denomination, and all the members of tbe con
verted minister's church changed their'faitb..
and followed their old shepherd. " '
Opossums abound on the outskirts of
Canton, Md. The electric lights there seem, to
attract the anlmalsatnight. Numbers of them?
climb tbe electric light poles, touch tbe wire.v'
are killed by tbe shock, and in the morning,
their dead bodies are found and carried away :
by workmen, -
The neighborhood in the vicinity of.
Booneville, Mo., is greatly excited overthe dis
covery of large sums of money belonging to
Frank Taylor. The latter was eccentric,
wealthy and frugal. He died recently.Ieavin?' -a
diagram showing the places where-he had
burled money 20 and SO years ago. TbeeiMU-.
tor found under the porch sill in tin cans $7,000
in gold, and under the corner of the woodhouse'
83,000 in silver packed in glass jars. n'f
Norwich, Conn., has still a quaint cus
tom nowhere else observed, perhaps. The
festivities of Thanksgiving Day always have
wound up with barrel bonfires all over tho
town. A lofty pole being erected, barrels are
strunir uuon it and arranged around It In .
pyramidal fornt, with a single tarred barrel at
tbe top. These barrels are filled with straw,
making them as prima conductors of tire as the
shaft of a modern hotel elevator. At dark tbe
fires are lighted, and the barrels, which the
town boys have begged or stolen, aro soon con
sumed. A short time ago two or three little girl
who had been placed under the care of the
Shakers In Gloucester, Me., became tfred of
their irksome life and determined to leave It
So, each taking her most precious possessions
(which, in one instance, was a tiny ring, a relic
of babyhood, and a bar of perfumed soap), they
started to run away, and got as far as Ray
mond, where they were found by some of the
citizens trying to construct a house of boughs
to sleep in. They were taken in and sheltered
for tho night, the Shakers going for them the
next day.
The veteran anglers at Castle Garden
have invented a device which enables them to
fish from the end of the pier while swapping
reminiscences before the glowing fire in the
cozy office of Captain Moore, the tugboatman.
Like all great inventions it is a marvel of sim-
plicity. The shore end of the line is tied to the
top of a thin, elastic stick. There is also a bell
fastened to tho top of the stick. Whenever a
fish takes the hook and gives a yank on the
line, down comes the spring stick; and jingle,
jingle goe3 the bell. Tbe luxurious analer
stops in the middle of a story about the old fire,
laddies of 1852 and rushes out and pulls in the
fish, which has literally rung himself up.
A very queer custom in Oconee county..
S. C, is the manner of burial so often prac
ticed. Instead of elaborate marble headstones
or other such memorials to the dead.tho Caro
linian will build over the mound a shed or
small house to protect tbe crave from the in
clemency of the weather. At first one Is likely
to take these little structures for baby bouses.
In the case of the better class of mountaineer,
be will paint this wooden mausoleum. The
less favored will content themselves with a
shed arrangement, which ia made by driving
two forked sticks in the ground and tben
placing on these a rail, which forms a ridge
pole, npon which tho plank is laid, shedding to
the ground.
The strange case of William Jackson,
whose breath was inflammable, excited a great
deal of Interest in medical and scientific circles
two years ago. At that time Mr. Jackson was
a photographer in Fayetteville, N. Y. More
recently he has been encaged in tbe same bus
iness in MIddlebury: Vt. One evening at 10
o'clock he lighted a lamp with a match. Then
with a breath of air sought to "blow out tbe
match." Instantly his breath took fire with a
slight explosion. Jackson gasped with fright
and the flame of the combustible air entered
I his mouthrand blistered his ton cue. His Uus
and face also suffered, and bis mustache, eye-
brows and the hair above bis eyebrows were
singed to a marked degree. Jacksun is still
living and about 30 years old.
While a reporter was drinking a gloss,
olsoda.in a Fulton avenue (Brooklyn)' drnir!
store last Thursday, a well-dressed man walked,
in and Hurriedly asked the clerk if there was'a
telephone in the store. The clerk pointed out
the instrument and the stranger walked over to
it. and, taking the ear-trumpet' in his hand, de
liberately placed it to his left eye, closing tbe
other meanwhile. He seemed puzzled that he
did not see the object of his search, and at
length, when somebody pointed out that the
telephone was for speaklngandhearingthrongh.
be roared as loudly as be conld into tbe orifice
of the ear arrangement. His annoyance and
disappointment at the repeated failures were
fully compensated for when he was placed on
the right track.
In the Ukraine, Bussla, the maiden is
the one that does all the courting. When she
falls in love with a man she goes to his house
and tells him the state of ber feelings. If he
reciprocates all is well, and a formal marriage
is duly arranged. If, however, he is unwilling,
she remains there, hoping to coax him into a
better mind. The poor fellow cannot treat her
with the least discourtesy or turn her out for
her friends would be sure to avenge the insult
His best chance, therefore. If he is really deter
mined that he won't, is to leave his home and
stay away as long as she is in it This is cer
tainly a very peculiar way of turning a man
out of house and home. On the Isthmus of
Darien either sex can do the courting, with the
natural result that almost everybody gets mar
ried. There Is not quite the same chance where
the girl has to bide the motions of a hesitating
or bashful swain.
In a little town near Chicago there is a
school house close to the tracks of a trunk line
railroad. The consequence of this juxtaposi
tion of the two things is one that never would
occur to any but the boyish mind. Tbe boys
got up a game which consisted in their seeing
which one should be the last to jumpacross the
track in front of the express train that passes
there at SO miles an hour just after school lets
out This game bas already cost at least three
lives. The other day a railroad employe went
to tbe mother of one of tho boys to tell her
what her son was doing. She told him she
could take care of her own children and wanted
no interference by tattletales. She gave him a
scolding lie will never forget One reason why
he will never forget it is that the boy was
killed by the express train one weekafterward.
The engineer said be saw tbe boy standing by
the track, but never dreamed he meant to try
to cross it ahead of the train.
HUMOR FROM. THE HUB.
A milkman never goes io a dance in
pumps. Too suggestive.
An iceman is running for Congress in New
York. No doubt he expects to take the cake.
When the fast yonng man gets himself
into the station houie,he is thenboth hard and
fast.
It may be that love makes the world go
round, but an overdose of whisky will do it more
successfully.
What difference is there between a bold,
bad" man and a flannel shirt? Tne difference Is that
a bold, bad man shrinks at nothing.
It is funny to hear two women talking to
each other across a fence as they are hanging out
clothes, each with" a half dozen clothes pins In
ber mouth, it is a close spin between them a to
which shall talk with the plainest articulation.
ATVELMiALANCED FAIR.
Together we'd think them a well-balanced
pair
As tbey ought to be, bridegroom and bride.
Tho voung man who parts In tbe middle hit hair
And the girl who parts her hair at the side.
Jipson You remember Jimson, Jobson?
Jobson I do. I remember him as being an out
and out bad one. constantly beating bis wife and
children and maklns bis home miserable.
Jep. Welt bets making his home happy now.
Job. Yes, he's dead.
If fishermen would stick to facts,
How thankful we should be! ir
if men would sit between the sets.
How thankful we should be I , .
ii gill iu iruui, Uiu M wwu .vi.-
If folks would stop at home who conbaj
If empty guns would not go on,
. How thankful we should bel
THANSIOHJTATIOy.
I saw her at a ball last night,
She looked not at, but past on through me,
The summer girl, the charming sprite.
Who said she'd be a sister to me.
And tbongh my brain was In a whirl,
Mv ehazrlnl did qulekly smother.
For she'd beconje a winter girt- , -.
And had secured another brother. . .
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