f-vr-1 m .N ?.-"-&- fSrA THE PJTTSBTJBG DISPATCH,' -SUNDAY,- ttOVEMBEE '24, "188&T T&i" m' t Jr. I f iff -FEATUHEBTD WATCH. . The Monday Dispatch Has Too Good a Pre decessor in To-day's Splendid Triple Number to be Content With Any Ordinary, Kveryday Issue for Itself. ITS BIB BAB SUMMARY, The Conclusions Drawn by the Commissioner "Who Wrote Last Week's Natural Gas Reviews, Will Alone be Worth .More Than the Aver age Daily, Entire. WHICH COLORS WIN ? A Racine Romance, Will Furnish Diversion; Talmage's Sermon ia Athens Will be Good; The Postal Savings Bank "Will be Aired by a Bright Washingtonlan, renan's Imaginary Club, Illustrated, Will be Recognized and Relished by ManyClubroom Habitues; and the Paper Will, as Usual, Excel in Its Special News From Everywhere. YOU OUGHT TO READ IT. ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8, 1846. Vol.44. XO.V30. -Entered at I'lttsburc l'ostoffice. Kovember 14, 1SS7, as second-das matter. Business Office 97 and09FifthAvenue. News Rooms and Publishing House 75, 77 and 79 Diamond Street. Eastern Advertising Office, Koom 45, Trlbnne Building, Hew York. Average net circulation of the dally edition of The Dispatch for six months ending October SI, 1SS9, as sworn to before City Controller, 30,128 Copies per Issue. Average net circulation ofthe Sunday edition of The Dispatch for five months ending- October r. 1S83, . 53,477 Copies per Issue. TERMS OF THE DISPATCH. POSTAGE FREE IS THE TOTTED STATES, Datly Dispatch, One Year I 8 00 Dailt Dispatch, l'er Quarter 2 00 DAILT DISPATCH, One Month 70 Daily Dispatch, including Sunday, lyear. 10 00 Daily Dispatch. Including Siindiy,3m'ths. 2 50 Dailt Dispatch, Including Sunday,l month 90 Suxdat Dispatch, One Year S50 AVeeklt DlsrATCH, One Year 1 S5 The Daq.t Dispatch Is delivered bv carriersat 31 cents per w cet, or Including Sunday edition, at ICcents per week. This issue or THE DISPATCH contains 20 pnees, mnde up of THREE PARTS. Failure on tho pnrt of Carriers, Agents, Newsdealers or Newsboys to supply pa n-ons with a Complete Number should be promptly reported to thtSis oce. Voluntary contributors should keep copies of , articles. If coi7ipensation is desired the price expected must be named. The courtesy of re turning rejected manuscripts trill be extended v:hen stamps for that purpose are enclosed, but the Editor of Toe Dispatch: will under no circumstances be responsible for the care of un solicited manuscripts. POSTAGE All persons who mall the Sunday issue of The Dlspntcb to friends should bear in mind the Tact thnt the post age thereon is Trvo (2) Cents. All double and triple number copies ol The Dispatch f requlro a 2-cent stmnp to insure prompt delivery. PITTSBURG. SUNDAY. NOV. 24, 1SS9. BELIEVING THE SUSPENSE.. Up to last night no official statement had been made of the condition of the 'affairs of the Lawrence Bank. No one can read the reports of the incidents of the suspension without being struck by the nu merous and evidently sincere expressions from so many of the depositors as. to their faith in the integrity, regardless of errors of judgment, of the President and the Cashier of the bank. This is a good sign, for such opinions are seldom formed upon long ac quaintance and rarely expressed in the face of disaster, as in this instance, excepting upon well founded convictions. They draw the line between mistakes of judgment, however serious in the direction of business, and the diversion of fnnds to speculative purposes, which have been the prolific cause of so many other bank failures. But if the depositors show so much con sideration and patience in discussing the affairs of the collapsed concern, this should but make more urgent and evident the need for an early and fall statement from the di rectors of the bank as to its actual condition. In fact, with the probability of suspension clearly foreshadowed for some time prior to the actual closing, it would have been no more than the situation called for if such a statement had been made ready for publica tion when the doors were closed. Also, if the cashier, whose absence occasioned so much . comment, has not yet returned, he shonld lose no more time in putting in an appearance. The duty of relieving the tension of mind among the depositors s too clear to he evaded. To-morrow, doubtless, will see an official statement of the condition of the bank. Un less the informal assurances of the officials and directors are strangely inaccurate it will show assets sufficient or nearly sufficient to meet the demands of creditors. That, anv how, is the pith and substance of the prom ises so far. A PLAIN LESSON. There is important information in the fact that a block of buildings which col lapsed in Brooklyn the other day were, like the "Willey building in this city composed of good building material, according to the declaration of the builder. That gentleman declares: "The constant rain kept the bricks wet and prevented the mortar from drying. No human effort could have pre vented the collapse." It does not occur to this apologist, any more, than ij did in the case here, that the collapse conji have been prevented not by human efiorH but by an abstinence from human effort in running the walls in weather which did not permit them to dry and bind. The mere statement of this casa is enough to show recklessness in continuing to build walls which were practically no more than loose bricks on top of each other. Such lesson is not difficult of application. THE NEW COMBINATIONS. The idea that a control and check for competition between theWestern and Trans continental railroads was to be established by the combination with connecting lines, which the Union Pacific recently formed, is thoroughly exploded by the combination qf the Bock Island and Santa Pe roads. Ac cording to the reports spread of the earlier agreement, it was to be supposed that it would rule the transcontinental situation supreme and unrivaled. If there was any such idvi, it has now been eradicated by the J life mxmi. fit' nph idx it hcnn, )..n.ni..f.Hi,.i,. s. .. ' i.. - .j '... I pication or diseases yesterday in tne estn year or p ,,.. . v..u.wrviii, hi.j ltlw.c leuucuon l his age. longhand successive rains. appearance in the field of another transcon tinental line, more direct than the first, and fully equipped to compete with it. It is the fashion to represent these con solidations as the result of the abolition of pooling by the inter-State commerce law To allege that the consolidation of connecting lines, to increase facilities for through ship ments, will serve the same function as the combination of competing lines is simply to becloud the whole subject. There is this basis of truth in the representation that pooling being an effort to prevent com petition, and the law having forbidden that, the connecting lines are now forming these combinations to enable them to compete more successfully. So far as the present combinations serve that purpose they are a public benefit rather than an evil. Nevertheless it is plain thai these immense combinations are an outgrowth of the system of exclusive privileges. If the idea that a railroad could discriminate in favor ot one competing line and against another were wholly abolished, the hope of gaining especial advantages and controlling through traffic by such agreements would be done awav with. EHD OF THE PABNEIL COMMISSION. The close of the proceedings before the Parnell Commission has at last been reached, after dragging wearily along for months. The remaining question, what sort ot a verdict the Commission will re turn, is one on which the public of both continents will show little interest. The real question at issue the value of the letters published by the Times as proof of Parnell's complicity with crimes was settled long ago by the confession that they were forgeries. But a persistent effort has been made to break the iorce of that reverse by dragging in all sorts of issues as to Land League agitation; and the course of the Commission in permitting that diversion lends some ground to the expectation that it will go as far as it can in twisting every thing to the disadvantage ofthe Parnellites. Even if it does so it will make no differ ence. The evidence is what will settle the question in the judgment of the public, and that leaves no doubt that the Times' famous articles on 'JParnellism and Crime" have proved a feariul boomerang. WILL HAKE ITS OWN REC0BD. It is worth while to season the approval of the act of the new Government of Brazil in proclaiming universal suffrage, with a little inquiry in the likelihood of the needed result of a stable and intelligent representa tive Government. There is a wide differ ence between enfranchising an intelligent people capable of self-government, and giv ing the ballots to an ignorant and half-civilized mass, capable of being used by demag ogues for the support of dictatorships and juntas. The United States has founded univer sal suffrage on the basis of intelligence and general education among its people. Where it has rested on that foundation it has demonstrated its success. But there is reason to doubt in certain parts of the country, whether granting the franchise to large masses of ignorant people, such as the negroes in the South or the masses in our large cities has been accompanied by the best results. It is asserted that 00 per cent of the people of Brazil can neither read nor write; and a large share of the Indians and blacks are but imperfectly acquainted with the fabric of civilized society. Will this mass of ignorapce be most available for maintaining a free government by law, or for the uses of demagogues and dictators? Of course it is necessary to recognize the Government ot Brazil; to hope that it will make good its professions of popular government. But will it be able to restrain effusive plaudits until its own conrse de monstrates whether it will be a genuine Republic or a dictatorship in disguise.; THE TB0ITBLE WITH THE SH0KE. . It is a little peculiar that various cities should simultaneously have their at tention directed anew to the old question of securing a perfect consumption of smoke and soot. Perhaps the revival of the agita tion may be mainly ascribed to the season when the number of fires in any city is mul tiplied; but it is, nevertheless, worth notic ing that the problem of burning all the fuel and doing away with smoke has been newly agitated of late in several places. In London, where smoke and soot have been chronic and unremitting, .the question has been brought up again by a nnmber of her typical fogs. Chicago during the recent weather has enjoyed a mixture of fog and smoke which one ofthe press of that modest city profoundly claims as fully equal to anything that London can produce. In the English city remedial measures have gone no further than to discuss some of the old smoke consumers. Chicago is hoping for natural gas. But to Pittsburgers the hope of carrying gas a hundred and fifty miles and making it so far the fuel of a city as to abolish the smoke is a peculiarly slight one. It can hardly have escaped notice that during the past storms the old Pittsburg habit of filling the atmosphere with smoke that made the clouds blacker and lower, manifested itself. "Whether it is the higher cost of gas or the uncertainties of supply that has lately been felt.ithere is evidently more smoke now than for some seasons past Thereiis less excuse for Pittsburg in such a relapse than for almost any other city. For, wholly apart from the question of the per manence ofthe natural gas supply, which is far from settled adversely, our people have had full opportunity to learn that even if we have to burn coal or other fuel, the cheapest, cleanest and best way is to convert it into gas and distribute it through the pipes which are already laid. Of course if that is done the conditions should be established which will make it cheaper to burn manufactured gas than coal. Bat with the economic fact as it is, if the benefit of it cannot be secured to con sumers, our city deserves to relape into its old vice of uncleanhness. HOT BUBDEHSOHE TAXATION. The habit of crying out against the inter nal revenue taxes as odious and oppressive is growing to a degree which threatens to land in silliness. The New York Sun calls it "the infernal tax," and sets forth as a startling fact that the United States have, "since they elected Mr. Cleveland, paid in the odious form of excise taxes on domestic products and industries 'more than six hun dred millions of dollars." It might also be added that of the several thousands of mill ions of municipal, county, State and na tional taxation collected in that time, none were paid more easily and with less of an effort for the taxpayers than exactly this tax upon whisky and tobacco. The tendency of the Sun to represent the whisky and tobacco tax as odious is per haps less surprising than the disposition of the Republicans to fall in with the same idea. In this the protectionist element have evidently been confused by Mr. Cleveland's rather muddled theory that the way to abolish surplus revenue is j to make a reduction of tariff duties. The Republicans have followed into the same mistake of sup posing that internal revenue taxes must be abolished in order to prevent reduction in the tariff. Both sides are painfully wrong headed in the matter. If all the internal revenue taxes were abolished it would be necessary to increase the revenue from duties. But it is as well established as any thing can be that to increase the revenue from tariff duties the rate levied must be re duced from the .protectionist level. The Republican mistake on this point is the more remarkable because, if there was any one point of fiscal policy to which the Republican party has been most thoroughly pledged, it was the correctness and equity. of the taxes on whisky and tobacco. It was proved, time and again, by the leading Re publicans that these taxes as a whole were levied on luxuries and extravagances; that no one need pay them unless he washed to, and that whoever did pay them would not feel the amount of tax 'levied on the price of his drinks or cigars. It may be remem bered that Senator Sherman fought a State campaign on that point in Ohio and won it. There are, of course, such exceptions to the rule as alcohol used in the arts, on which the tax might be remitted. But the Re publican party can hardly affiyd to go back on its record by abolishing all taxation on whisky and tobacco. There are import duties which can be removed without de stroying the protective features ot the tariff. There is much significance in the declara tion of the Farmers' Alliance, of Illinois, against the repeal of taxation on tobacco and liquors. The streak of good fortune to Pittsburg in the way of handsome donations for public purposes grows broader and brighter than pub lic Imagination even dreamed of. Andrew Car. negie's promise of a great library was the first intimation of good things fortune held in store for this town; yet before the Carnegie gift has materialized, the Schenley Park and the great Shoenberger donations come quick upon one another to gladden tho community. Once the fashion is set it may rapidly grow among those millionaires whose fortunes are more or less identified with the town. Certainly such gifts encourage others. The Shoenberger Hospital will evidently be a grand institution, fit to adorn the greatest city in the land. Pittsburg will wear her gifts modestly, bnt gratefully, and henceforward hopeful of many becoming additions to them. Another lesson on aldermanic methods was read in the higher courts yesterday. It is to be hoped that after a prolonged course of tuition of the sort recently administered our local exponents of justice will learn the neces sity of transacting their business in accord ance with the law. A New Yoek paper says that the people of that city are whetting their appetites for their Thanksgiving turkey. The prospects of New York's World Fair, however, indicate that the Thanksgiving turkey of that city will be crow. A contributob who, this morning, gives a graphic description of a trip up the Monon gahela to Morgantown, the capital of Pitts burg's new tributary territory, quotes the re mark of a voyager that "barring the castles, the scenery beats the Rhine." The remark is not far, if at all, wide of the truth. There is as strikingly beautiful scenery in the upper Monongahela and Youghlogheny regions as can be found anywhere. This is not exactly the time of year to see it, bnt through the sum mer and autumn that part of the country well repays those who visit it in search of the pic turesque. President Audeew D. "White is quoted as saying that a man must travel as far as Constantinople to find streets in as bad con dition as those of New York., What is the use of taking so long a trip while Pittsburg is only about four hundred miles from New York. The statement that the Speakership con test at Washington is being run on a temper ance basis, strikes the ordinary Democrat with disgust at the idea that practical politics is becoming a lost art. , The declaration from West Virginia that there are no fends, such as have been reported, is calculated to increase confi dence in tho security of life in that State. But its value is somewhat dam aged by the simultaneous publication of the story of nine murders which have been committed in the course of the feud as related by one of the Hatfields. It is not always easy to wipe such vendettas out of existence. People will fight shy of that section until it learns to keep the peace. The declaration of a New York engineer that New York has not time to build the build ings and prepare the ground for the World's Fair seems to be pretty well founded. There is even ground for the suspicion that New York has not time to raise the money. Stanley will follow his usual precedent of getting back to civilization in time to in form the rescuers of Einin Bey and himself how they ought to have done it. Senatob Allison is reported to have said in reply to an inquiry about his prospects of re-election: "I have long since learned to trust in Providence." This would show a great deal of commendable faith, but a stndy of the Senator's career permits the inference that he has also learned the force of the proverb that, in politics especially, Providence helps those who help themselves to offices for their friends. Anotheb American girl has captured an English title. If English capital is buying up our industries, American capital can retaliate by buying up England's nobility. Thnsthe most important institutions of each nation are made common property. There is a not unnatural anxiety to learn whether the new pension firm of Tanner A Dudley will present claims in blocks of five or in wholesale amounts. The donation of a million dollars by a wealthy brewer of London for the erection of houses for the industrious poor is wholesale and magnificent charity; but perhaps the re sults would be better if business In London and elsewhere were shaped more with reference to giving the industrious poor such wages and conditions of life that they can erect houses for themselves. The Lawrence Bank failure is, of course, an in convenient and regrettable occurrence for those directly connected with it; but it does not cause the slightest check to the movement of the great lines of business which make up Pitts burg's prosperity. Neabxyy eight years in the penitentiary will take off a large share of the profits of that Aldrich bunko game. Of the 2,000 miners who went out on the strike at Brazil, Ind., last summer, all but 600 have been starved into submission. The busi ness policy ot forcing wages down by brute force ot hunger is a selfish and heartless one; but the lesson should be none less plain to workingmen, that it is ruinous to strike until you are sure of winning. DEATHS OP A DAT. William Wiseman. William "Wiseman, one ofthe oldest residents of of the city, died last evening at his residence on Bluff street, aged 90 years. Mr." Wiseman lived in thlscltv for40 vpurR. an4-im held fnhlsrh estlma- .tlon by his acquaintances. A son, William, has been pressman on Tue Dispatch for many years. James A. Ralbven. New Yobk, November 23. James Alexander Buthvcn, the noted chessplayer, songwriter and Abolition orator of war times, died from a com plication of diseases yesterday Is the 68th year of THE TOPICAL TALKER. Red, White and Bine In a Woman's Face When Music Hath no Charms Growing; a Beard Tho Old Tale A Mental Gymnasium. Nothing a woman can do is In worse taste than to cover her face with powder and rouge, and yet how many women, yes, respectable women who would not be pleased it they were called anything but ladies, do abnse their skins and their looks by resorting to such mere tricious aids! It was pretty cold yesterday in the afternoon when Fifth avenne was filled with fair shop pers and I noticed for the first time, I think, a peculiar effect onsuch feminine faces that bore traces of the powder rag's use. It was a more or less definite presentment of-the tricolor of Liberty, the red, white and blue. The red was rouge in some cases, in others nature strug gling into a healthy color, the white the powder, and the blue, usually at the tip of a thin nose, the result of cold. The tricolor is good to look at almost anywhere, but it is out of place in a Woman's face. . . MUSIC HATH CHASMS. "3Iuslc hath charms," you know thereat; 'lis often true I won't dispute That bugles awe the savage oreast And make Us owner meek and mute. But when the breast swells neath a coat Of modern cut, bought In a store, Faith, then we're in another boat, And music's soothing spell is o'er. Yes language Ineffectual pales Before the picture of that roar 'Which erects the practising of scales Forever by that girl next door. "TmniE are two stages in the growth'ot a beard," said the erndite barber to the rash man who had announced his resolve to give the wind a chance, as Herodotus puts It. "Two stages, both worth contemplating before you go forward. In the first stage your friends will remark in your hearing that someone needs shaving; offers of small sums of money sufficient to defray the expense of a visit to the barber's will follow. Then your more in timate friends will say to you: 'You need a shave, old man, don't yonf and the wife of your bosom, and still more likely your sweet heart, if you be yet abachelor, will say: 'Don't,' with unmistakable earnestness when you pro ject a chaste salute," '.'And the second stage?" "Is reached when people who know you tolerably well say encouragingly: Trying to raise whiskers, heyf or 'growing a beard, are you?' always interrogative remarks, you see, implying a doubt of your intentions. And those kindly beings who find their chief pleas ure in making their friends uncomfortable will remark, within earshot, perhaps to your very face, that it is simply outrageous for a man with a long face, or a short one, or a broad one, or a narrow one, or red hair, or black or brown hair, or bine eyes or brown eyes, or a pale complexion or a dark one, or a donbtfnl one, to attempt to wear a beard. And the man with a mania for doc toring his friends will applaud your enterprise as a certain preventive of throat troubles, and the big, bluff, handsome giant who never had an ache in his body since lie was born will laugh yon to scorn, and clap his brawny hand to his bull's throat and sing out loudly: 'Cold can't touch me I'll make no door mat of my chin,' and then " "Excuse me, I'll be shaved after all." THE TALE IS OLD. The tale Is as old as the oldest bills, 'Twas old when the earth was young, The gloom of lt-aye! tho Joy of ltfllls Love's sone wherever It's sung. f Tls nothing but this: That a woman loves As a river flows down to the 6ea, And a man eee how old ocean moves! Alan copies him faithfully. The sea Is as bold as the wind and tide May choose, and It shakes the shore; As It cuts a swath in the sand so wide With a boastful surging roar. But over the bar the waves are less, Where old ocean salutes the river, And she gives her all-and he, ah, yes? What does old ocean give her? The tale is as old as the oldest hills, 'Twas old when the earth was young. The gloom of lt-aye! the joy of it fills Love's song wherever it's sung. 'Tis nothing "out this: That a river Sows Asa woman lives for her lover; And the sea? who watcheth the waters knows The likeness he shall discover. "He makes me very tired" said the cynical literary man of all work in reference to a great writer. "He makes me very tired and I avoid him whenever I can." "And yet you believe in athletics," said the sporting man, "swing dumb bells and clubs, pay an annnal supscription to the Y. M. C. A. gymnasium?" "Yes. What has that to do with this man Bibbs, who makes me tired?" "Lots. Why, he's a mental gymnasium, an op ponent at singlestick, a set of 9-pound bells, clnbs, and all the rest combined for yon. You should meet him when you can and take a swing at him, and as soon as he tires you lay him by. It will strengthen your mind, and it may his, you know." Hepbtbn Johns. PEOPLE OP PROMINENCE. By a qdeer coincidence Governor Biggs, of Delaware, employs a secretary named Smalls. Senator Chandler sailed from London for New York on the Aurania yesterday after several months' tour in Europe. The venerable Dr. Francis Bowen, after 40 years of service, has resigned the Moral Phi losophy chair at Harvard; bnt will be retained as emeritus professor. Ihventor Keely looks old. He has changed a great deal in appearance during the last five years, and his hair has turned white. The effort to keep his great secret has wom upon him, and his face shows deep lines of care. He still maintains a confident air, how ever, when talking about his motor. Mr. R. D. Blackmoee recently appeared in court as complainant against a man who had stolen 525 worth of his pears; and had the cul prit locked up lor three months. Mr. Black more is better known at Teodington as a mar ket gardener than as the author of some of the most charming of cotemporary works of fiction. Baron Hirsch has purchased Houghton Hall, the ancient seat of the Walpoles, from the Marquis of Cholmondeley for the snm of $1,500,000. Houghton Hall is not far from Sandringham, the country house of the Prince of Wales. One hundred and fifty years ago it was one of the most popular places in the kingdom. Chauncey Jacobs, of Boston, "the king of bank sneaks," according to his own statement, has stolen between 1400,000 and $500,000, and gambled every cent of it away. He is an expert in pulling money through cashier's windows. He says he once won $16,000 in a single night at faro.and at another tune won su),ooo on a single deal. Dr. Julius Weizsacker, Professor of His tory at the University of Berlin, who died re cently in Kissingen, was 62 years old. He de voted himself chiefly to the study of the mid dle aces. His principal work is the "Acts of the Reichstag in the Time of King Wenzel," which is looked npon as an authority in Ger many. He was a member of the Academy of Sciences in Munich and Berlin, as well as of many other societies. Ho was extremely popu lar among hi3 pupils, many of whom, owing to his excellent directions, have already become famous. Second-Hand Throno For Sale. From the New York Trlbune.l You can get the throne of Hawaii for a trifle of $800,000, perhaps less if you pay cash down. The throne is in good condition, having been recently upholstered with the best curled hair. The crown and tho scepter, both as good as new, will be thrown in, as King Kalakaua would like to go outof the King business if somebody will make it worth while for him to withdraw. At least the Hawaiian dicky birds say so. Where Chicago Excels. From the Detroit Free Press.l Out of 82 samples of milk tested at Chicago ail but one were found to be adulterated. No otber city can boast of poorer milk, and that's another' something for Chicago to holLout as an inducement to newcomers. A Trick Worth Knowing. From the Baltimore American. . General.Greely ought to send agents to Brazil to get a few points on the nuickest way to ston longana successive rains. AN INGL0K10US CABMB ENDED. The Parnell Commission's Public Sittings nt Last Are Over. 1ST CABLE TO TOT DISPATCH.! London, November a-To-day the special Parnell Commission terminated its inglorious career, as far as public sittings are concerned, and the jndges will immediately commence preparing their report upon charges bronght against the Irish members. The proceedings have been deadly dull, with only an occasional variation in the monotony, since Pigott ap peared and disappeared so dramatically from the scene, and the close to-day was entirely devoid of interest. An industrious reporter who was present at every sitting has compiled some curious sta tistics. During the 129 days the commission sat the President expressed an opinion, ad dressed observations to the court or witness, or made casual remarks 621 times. Sir Archi bald Smith 402, and Sir John Day only -once, and that at the very beginning of the inquiry. Irrespective of questions addressed to wit nesses, the Attorney General made 602 observa tion? of a varied nature and Sir Henry James 426, sir Charles Russell Jip.ine- close UDOn the heels of the latter, with 421, while Mr. Davitt offered 120, Mr. Bigger 46, Mr. Sexton 9, and Mr. Parnell no more than 5. Exactly 500 witnesses were called, to whom 98,267- Questions were put. Of the witnesses called, 28 were named O'Connor, 24 Walsh, 22 Murphy, 16 Burke, 14 Sullivan and Kelly, and 11 O'Brien, while the names of no fewer than 45 places commencing with Bally were men tioned in the course of the evidence. LIVING LIKE A LORD. A Fast Youth Who Had Lots of Fan Spending; Stolen Money. ISFECIAL TXLE1BAM TO TBI DISrATCR.I Denver, .November 23. Among the more re cent arrivals in Denver Is an exceedingly hand some young man named George Corydon,of Wil mington, Del. Among the things that accom panied the young man was a mandolin, a big bulldog, an express rifle, a box 'containing nearly 8,000 Turkish cigarettes, and upward of $30,0U0 in gold coin and greenbacks. All of these things excepting the bulldog and the mandolin Johnny stole from his wealthy father. who owns and operates a cotton goods factory at Wilmington. Just how the lad obtained possession of such a large boodle does not ap pear. He distributed his wealth with a lavish hand, and has been enjoying himself as can only a young man to whom the wickedness of the world is an attraction. The apartments he occupied were sumptuously furnished, partly with his money, and the delicacies such as wines, dears, fruits and sweatmeats with which hekept himself surrounded wcreplentiful and of the most expensive variety. His guests of the gentler sex were not noted for their moral ity. The young man's life of luxury was not des tined to last long. The father, although wealthy, was unwilling to part with such a large snm, and through tne assistance of de tectives the son was to-day arrested and part of the money recovered. TEAMPS HOLD A CONTENTION. Knights of (he Road Meet, Relate Experi ences and Ini Resolutions. tEFXCIAT, TELEOBAM TO THE DISPATCn.l Wixkesbaehe, November 23. A conven tion of tramps was held in the old Dundee breaker, near Nantieoke, a few days ago. The call for the meeting was issued last September by John A. Allen.formerly a Cincinnati hatter, but for tho past eight years a "knight of the road." The old breaker was put In good repair, and over 640 Invitations sent put, the largest nnmber to be distributed in the vicinity of Allentown, where tramps are very numerous. Advance guards began arriving earlv last week. Thoy were from all parts of the State, of every color and complexion and had served appren ticeships at all sorts of trades. These set to work, put together all the money they had and began preparations for the feeding and enter tainment of the delegates on their arrival. On Thursday morning 38 tramps had regis tered and sat down to the banquet. Allen de livered the address of welcome, and pro pounded tho question, "Why are we tramos?" The visitors responded, and related their ex periences. The meeting concluded with the adoption of a resolution against monopolies and a declaration of a purpose to stand to gether for mutual protection. MEDICAL MEN PEPLEXED. uuaccuuniaoio Actions or immps in a Col. lejfo Dissecting Koom. 16PECIAL TELECHAH TO THE DISPATCH.! St. Louis, November 23. The American Medical College, at 407 South Jefferson avenue, is tho scene, according to the Statement of an eye-witness, of a nightly phenomenon which is perplexing the faculty to account for. About a week ago the body of a man about 50 years was brought to the college for dissection. As soon as Dr. J. L. Ingram, the demonstrator of anatomy, wonld approach the body it is stated that the lights in the dissecting room would go out On being relit the gas would burn brightly until another attempt was made to cut the body, when the gas would flicker and die out. Lamps, it is stated, have been-procured, but these also went out at the first attempt to operate on the body. Last night the college was closed, and all at tempts to work on the body were abandoned. There are several young lady students, who were found huddled in a croup in the hall at the head of the stairs. One of the number, Miss Alice Smith, the reporter was informed, fainted last night and had to be carried from the dissecting room. BUEIE1) ON A WELSH ISLET.! Lord NowborouEh's Last Wishes Carried Ont to the Letter. I BY CABLE TO TUE DISPATCH.! London, November 23. Lord Newborougb, of Glynlifon, Carnarvonshire, died nearly i8 months ago, leaving instructions to his heirs that on November 20, 1SS9. his body should be taken to Bardsey Island, a lonely islet off the Welsh coast, and placed in a grand mausoleum which he had Duilt there within sound of the Atlantic Ocean. The instructions were faith fully carriec" out last Wednesday. Newborough's affection for Bardsey was due, firstly, to the fact that the island has been in his family's possession, for several centuries, having been given to one of bis ancestors by King Edward VI., for conspicuous bravery as standard bearer at the battle of Norwich, and, secondly, because according to tradition 20,000 Welsh saints have been'buried there. Only One Can Win. From the Philadelphia Press.: The contest among the Republican candi dates for .Speaker is becoming animated and In teresting. Hay the best man win, for oven if be does, some mighty good men are going to be beaten. And fio the Crnnks Are Happy. From the Philadelphia Becord. Tho conflicting stories abont baseball stars may be a trifle conf using, but one translucent fact stands out none die and few re-sign. , . A Grent Opportunity Neglected. From the Chicago Tribune. English syndicates have not succeeded in buying the City Council of Chicago. They haven't tried. THE SOUL'S DEFIANCE. 1 said to Borrow's awful storm ' That beat against my breath, ' itage on thou may'st destroy this form, And lay it low at rest; But still the spirit that no w brooks Thy tempest, raging high, Undaunted on Its fury looks With steadfast eye. ' ' " I said to Penury's meager train, "Come on your threats I brave; liy last poor Ufa drop yon may drain, i And crush me to the grave; Yet still the spirit that endures Shall mock your force the whUe, And meet each cold, cold grasp of yours With bitter smile." I said to cold Neglect and Scorn, "Pass on I heed yon not: Ye may pursue ine till my form And being are. forgot; Yet still the spirit which you see Undaunted by your wiles. Draws from Its own nobility Its high-born smiles." I said to Friendship's menaced blow, . . 'Strike deep my heart shall bear; r Thou canst but add one bitter woe To those already there; Yet still the spirit that sustains This last severe distress. Shall smile upon Its keenest pains, And scorn redress." I said to Death's uplifted dart, "Aim sure oh, why uelay? Thou wilt not find a fearful heart, A weak, reluctant prey: For still tho spirit, firm and free, Unruffled by dismay. Wrapt in its own eternity, . Shall pass away." yMrt. Laxinia Stoddard. S&7-W0. PAN-AMEEICAN UHIOff. The Federation of the Republics of the Con tinent Considered as a Possibility df the Future Reciprocal Benefits to be Gained by the Diflerent States. ICOBBESrONDINCE Or THE DISPATCH.: Washington, November 22. The obiect of the. convention of the Congress of the Three Americas is. of course, to exchange views in re gard to the mutual interests of the various countries represented, and to take action which will promote those interests and bring those countries into more familiar association, com mercially if In no other way. Whether there is any clearly-defined plan lurking in the brain of any one of the delegates, is not yet developed. It is to be assumed that each one has his own device for the aggrandizement of his own country, and, through it, of all the others, as no matter what is done it must have reciprocal re sults. Whether any one takes, or will take, that broad, "universal" view of things, sug gested by the name "Pan-American," is doubt ful. Politicians and diplomats are bronght to see only by the march of events, by force of circumstances that which poets and philoso phers recognize as inevitable from present conaiuons mat to otners are Incomprehensible. Poet economists of France and Germany saw long yearsago that competition would result in combination and consolidation, but it required periods of bitter experience to teach the lesson to even the greatest of "financiers." The "parliament of man" and the "federa tion of the world" have been foretold by philos ophers, economists and imaginative writers for hundreds of years, and yet it is only in the closing days of the second 2,000 years of that period of modern times known as the Christian era, that a congress of the States of almost an entire hemisphere meet together to talk of general interests; and even if there dwell in the mind of some members of that congress a dream of a grand hemispherical federation, he wonld fear to speak of It, thinking it might be looked on as the chimera of a "crank." Yet the federation of all the States of the Western Hemisphere is certain to be one of the consum mations of tho near future. Not their federa tion under one Government, but their union in purpose, in sentiment and practical co-operation in all that may conduce to the progress and development of the whole, instead of a policy that tends to develop the stronger at the vAicuao uj. iue weajter. Republicanism Must Triumph. Tho Woodless revolution in Brazil cannot go backward. There may be a fl urry of revulsion of feeling, if the conduct of the representatives of the new system be not altogether satisfac tory, but at any rate the monarchy is at an end, and any other than the republic will bo but a temporary affair. The repnbllcanizing of Canada and other provinces of British America are as certain to follow within a few years as night is to follow day. When the first news of the reality of a revolution in Brazil was received here I remarked to a ctttzen of Montreal, stop ping at one of our hotels: "That Is the knell of death to monarchical rule in the Ameticas, to the very last'shrcd and semblance ot it." The Canadian laughed derisively and insinuated that the experiment of republicanism in the United States was not so beneficent to the masses as to make other countries anxious to sign their names to the roll of republics. Yet he had hardly laughed out his laugh be fore there came from Canada the first notes of the new republican movement which must in evitably be the result of the revolution in Brazil, and it requires nothing ot the spirit or prophecy to foretell that within the next ten years every American State that now pays lh.l In .Ilk.. . .... .. 1 ,. i .. I. '"" '" c.mc. uiuuBjr or iuyai.y to ine riaicu lous system of hereditary rule, founded on what might be called the almost idiocy of the masses, will have become republicanized. Fan-American Federation. In that day, if not soonsr, win be accom plished theederatlon of the American States. It will come because the tremendous possibili ties of modern invention in the development and association of countries not separated by antagonistic governments and by the ambitions of rulers and direct opposition of interests, will lead with irresistible force to the closest of intimacy for the common good and for pro tection aeainst the intrusion for selfish inter est of those countries which are less pro gressive, which, by reason of the vast com petitive population of laborers, puts its products on the market at the least possible cost and therefore tends to prevent or retard the independence, the self-development, of the newer countries, and to reduce the better pay ol labor in those countries to the level of the "pauper labor of Europe." It may be that the delegates to the "Pan American Congress," who are hero to consult in regard to those interests are unconscious of it, bnt this hemispherical federation Is in the air. It will not accomplish all that is wanted by the poets who foresee the "federation of the world." It may not be what i3 desired by tho modern economist, or what he knows will be tho outcome of the industrial conditions that have revolutionized production and must revolutionize the system on which production and the individual acquisition of wealth are now based. A Grand International Union. With the vast field for expansion in this new world we may not be forced toward that final industrial revolution with the speed that marks the movement in the older and mors crowded countries. Bat it may be that the wisdom of the capitalist class will see that a tremendous expansive movement is absolutely necessary as an outlet for the complaining classes, to keep them a few years longer from formidable attempts at the overthrow of the entire capitalist system. Aside from these considerations, however, the vast benefits possible from the closest com munication and reciprocity between the com plete roster of Republics of the Western Hemisphere which is soon to be, will stimulate the movement for federation. With everv State and Province freed from the influence of monarcnism; with Cuba a free, separate and sovereign State; with British America trans formedjnto several independent or federated Republics; or, perhaps, drawn into the federa tion of the United States, the lmpnlseCtoward the hemispherical federation will be strength ened a tbousand-fold. Then, if not before, the movement will come for a Parliament of all the Americas, composed of a fixed nnmber of representatives from each one of the Repub lics, or a various and variable number based on the population, probably by appointment ot the Presidents of each of the Republics and by confirmation of their Legislatures. How Business Wonld be Benefited. Tho Parliament would necessarily be perma nent in its sittings, taking recesses from time to timc.and reassembling at anytime at the call of the premier. It would have charge of all international business, arbitrate all disputes, discuss all projects for the development of the various countries of the federation, formulate treaties and suggest international projects and international laws for the action of the legis latures of the various Republics. The natural and speedy result of such a fed eration and s uch a Parliament would' be the construction of means for the most rapid and thorough inter-BeDUblic communication. Each Republic wonld willingly contribute its quota for the establishment of lines of steamships and railroads that would penetrate to every port and to every part of the federation. At the common expense an international railroad would bo constructed connecting'the north ern and southern continents, and tapping- every part oi ooia oi mem wim its iriDutaries. No people or country of the federation would be "out of the world." No place that could' contribute to the common good would be left out. Projects for the more local canals, rail ways and steamship lines would be discussed by the Parliament, and inter-Republic plans and questions tormulated by it for ratification by the countries immediately interested, and it necessary by the federation at large. Commercial and Social Advantages. The commodities of one country would, be quickly and safely transported to any otber country, and without "tax or tariff. Asnrplus of labor in one State could be readily trans ported to another State where it was wanted, and doubtless it wonld be found beneficial to all countries to have such labor transported free. No class or group of workers would feel that they were expatriating themselves by going from one country to another more than they now do when they go from one of, oar States to another. The circumscribed and wronged and exploited colored population of our Southern States would find an outlet and distribute themselves naturally, and not feel in doing so that they were divorcing themselves from the land where they weroa enslaved and the land which made them free. ' There would be a common impulse for the grandest possible development of all the coun tries of the federation, as there is now in our federation of States for the development of every part of every State. Of course there would be a common circulating medium. Paper money or coin would have common denominations and common value, and that ot one Republic would pass without loss of value in any other Republic One Viae for All. Over the flag of each Republic would float the flag of the federation. An insult to it would be an insult to a hemisphere of united Repub lics. Against a foreign foe the federation would be Invincible. An injury to the suial'est of tho Republics would mean an Immediate demand for reparation from a. population that within a few years will number 200,000,000 of the most progressive and .aggressive human beings In the world. The navies of the federation would be able to crush any force that could possibly Come against them. Tbe association of the Republics would soon result m a merchant marine that would practically carry the com merce ofthe world. , St is in. such a consummation as this that King Capitalism will reach his supreme glory, previous to his complete absorption Into that latter and more universal federation which will be indeed the realization of the "Parlia ment of man" and tbe "federation of tho world." when all tbe people shall own all things for all the people, operate them forall the peo pla. when necessities, comforts and luxuries id wholesome fullness shall be enjoyed alike by all the people, and when the creature who now lives and luxuriates on tbe sweat and blood and misery of human beings shall have per ished forever from the face of the earth. E. W.L. KEW YOKE ffEWS BOTES. Eevenso Through a Friend. tNXW YOBI SUItXAU SPECIALS. 1 New York, November 23. John Rnst, alias Baker, was a confederate of John Greenwald, the murderer of Lyman S. Weeks. At the trial of Greenwald, he testified for the State against his old paL Greenwald was angered by the treachery of his former friend, and several times made a scene in court by threatening to get even with him. As Greenwald was sen tenced to be hanged December 6, Baker had reason to feel pretty safe from all his efforts at .revenge. He was not, however. In jail Green wald got acquainted with Joseph Jackson, a colored man, whom he made promise to shoot Bust down at his first opportunity. Yesterday morning Jackson was released. Late last night he went to Rust's room, called him out into the corridor and shot him in tbe stomach. He was arrested 2U minutes later,and acknowledged he did tbe shooting to avenge Greenwald. This morning, in Court, be took it back. Ho was committed. Rust will recover. Celery Raisers Moving East. The owners of the celery beds in Kalamazoo,' Mich., have decided to move them to the "great meadows" m Warren county. Nl J. These "meadows" consist of about 60,000 acres of swamp land on each side of the Lehigh and Hudson Railway. They are covered with bos grass. They are owned by the State, which, by way of experiment, drained and cleared several acres of the swamps a few years ago. The re claimed land Is the richest in New Jersey, and produces wonderful quantities of vegetables to the acre. The Michigan capitalists will shortly complete their arrangements to prepare large tracts of tbe "meadows," near the Pequest river, for celery culture. Ho Will Sue Uncle Sara. State Attorney General Tabor has decided to sue Uncle Sam for $124,000 on behalf of the Castle Garden Commissioners. The Commis sioners think this amount due the State of New York under the contract of 18S3 with the Treas ury Department. The contract provides that the expense of caringfor Immigrants shall come out of ,the national fund, as shown by tho monthly vouchers sworn to by the Commis sioners. According to the Commissioners, Uncle Sam, through the Secretary of the Treas ury, has refused to reimburse them for their expenditures under this agreement. An Old Gaae With Variations. John.O. Hall, of Rockaway, was induced by two casual hotel acquaintances to-day to go with them to Morristown. N. J., ostensibly to play a lottery. They took him to a house on the outskirts of the village, and, after the usual preliminaries, persuaded him that be only needed to show 31,160 as a guarantee in order towinJ6000. Mr. Hall hurried to the Morris town Bank, drew $L1S0, and with it returned to the house. In an instant one of the men had snatched tho money from his hand. "Here, here," said Mr. Hall; "what does this mean?" "Stop; don't say a word," said the confederate; "my wife is lying at the point of death In the next room, and if you make any noise you will be Responsible for her death." Then, turning to the man who had taken the money. "Yon scoundrel, how dare you rob an honest man in my house? I will not allow you to take his money. You must return It." At this the two bunko men grappled, and, what appeared to the guileless Mr. Hall to be a life and death strug gle followed. He was very much frightened lest murder should be committed, and ran out of the house to summon help. When he re turned the men were gone. Bo was the Jl.ISO. So was the dying wife, because she sever had been there. flections for Postmasters. Roswell P. Flcwer, Congressman 'and per ennial candidate for the Democratic Presl dental nomination, to-day announced his In tention to introduce a unique bill or constitu tional amendment before the next Congress. The purpose of his bill or amendment will be to make postmasters. Internal Revenue col lectors and Custom House employes elective officers. "Postmasters, for Instancs," said Mr. Flower to-day, "are as much local officers as Mayors, Aldermen, Supervisors, eta, and they shonld be elected by the people they serve. The people who get their mail at the cost- office should, be allowed to say who shall be their postmaster. Then, according to the bill of tho constitutional amendment, which I pro pose tb introduce, the President would have power to remove an officer who failed to at-) tend to nis duties or who proved to be corrupt. After the removal tbe people should hare the power to select a successor, just as they do In case of elective offices now. The election of Federal office-holders every four years wonld do away with the office-holding class entirely. No change need be made in the details of office holding. The holders should be kept under bonds, as usual, and the Government should see that the bonds are paid In case of der eliction." As regards relieving the President and purifying the civil service, Mr. Flower claims the same advantages for his proposed system that the civil service reformers claim, for theirs. Committed Salrldo to Feed His Fatally. On a pile of rubbish In a vacant lot on Second avenue, between. Nlnety-socond and Ninety third streets, to-day, tbe driver of a coal cart discovered the dead body of a man. A box of rat poison was found beside the body. In a pocket was found this note addressed to his wife: ' NEtrYoax, November 22. Mr Dxas Wife asd child rku: I will never see you again, as my end has come and I must depart, Oh, it pains me, hut I can't help it. Get that money of the society which I belong to, and the insurance on my life. I am going to die. It' is better than going to the peni tentiary. ADAH KXTSEB. Keyser was a German, about 35 years old. He leaves a wife and two little children. Hehaa been employed for several years as a clerk in Keeker's Croton 'Flour Mills, la Cherry street, but left because he said the work was too hard for him. On Friday morning Keyser left home, saying that he was going to look for another place. He did not return. It is supposed that In Keysets reference to tbe penitentiary he meant to say that ha did not propose to be driven by want to theft. Mrs. Keyser believes he committed suicide through despondency. TUI-STATE TEIFLE3. A good cat-and-several-kittens story comes from the Wheeling postofilce. It seems that when the stamp clerk opened tbe safe in his department about 7 o'clock Monday morning, a cat that has lived around the building for a long time stepped out and began to stretch herself. She had been in tbe safe since Sun day morning at 10 o'clock, about 21 hours, and as tho compartment sbe occupied was sir tight she bad the air therein pretty well worked over, and it was getting somewbistale. The cat bad evidently gotten lonesome during its confinement and was rather scarce ot amuse ments to pass the time away, fyr when the clerk went to take out some stamps he found four small kittens snuggled together m the safe. A maw of Van Wert county, O., on a bet wheeled a barrow containing ISO cats three miles throngh a muddy country road. Two hearts and two livers were taken fromf a "chicken killed at Lock Hayen recently. The watch dogs owned by'W. K. Lesher, of Pottstown, were chloroformed by thieves, who robbed his store. An expectant rural citizen appeared In Chambersburg with a border raid certificate for S300, which he understood would be cashed by the'Raid,Commisslon, which was In session there. Air unknown lelssors-grinder at Sinking Spring dropped dead just as he was about to pay for a drink at tbe hotel. He had already disposed of the liquor, and the betel lrseyer wasted to. hold his grisrifatg BtaeUae to Hear paymestferH, A CUEIOUS COKDEKSATIOKS." ; Montezuma, Ga., boasts of ft dog "with five well-developed feet." Trailing arbutus blossoms were gathered in Camden. Me., few days ago. Two inmates of the Milwaukee alms house, the man aged 72 and the woman aged 73, were married one day last week. A large snowy owl perched on the spire of a Catholic church in Philadelphia the other day and sat there until nearly night, There is a young giantess 6 ieet 8 inches high, said absolutely to be only 12 years old. on exhibition in London. She is a Don Cossack. O. S. lower, of Auburn, went out hunt ing last week and bagged a 900-pound wild boar. Its tusks measured 13 inches long and were as white as ivory. A Cincinnati paper, in speaking of Wood, arrested the other day for connection with the ballot-box forgery case, says: "Wood Is a short, decidedly fat man, dreised in Times Star and Evening fost." An error in the make-up. A railroad dog, who travels steadily with his master in the cab of a Denver and Rio Grande locomotive, is said to be highly valor able in many ways. He can scent cattle on the track whan they cannot be seen and drives them oil when they are indisposed to get off.' - The Bishop of St Asaph's in Wales ap peals to English churchmen to help the clergy of the diocese, whose resources have been nearly cut off by the tithe agitation. "Starva tion," he tays, "is an ugly word, but it repre sents the condition to which several ol the Welsh clergy have been reduced." Dog stories are on s fair road to rival those told by fishermen. The latest candldata for popular recognition is that FredStendl was out shooting near Milton, Ore., the other diy; when he shot his dog. For a moment be was too much overcome to see what he had done, and before he had recovered himself the ani mal, a black retriever, had come up to him, bringing in his mouth bis own tall, which had been shot clean off. An - almost miraculous escape from death Is reported from Jackson county, Ga. Last Saturday two men were working in front of a circular saw, when one of them reached over to remove a chip from behind it. The saw caught his sleeve and dragged him over the shafting. Bound and round he went until his fellow wOrKtnan could run and stop the ma chinery. When he was taken out not a scratch or bruise was found upon his body, but the saw had torn every thread of clothing off him, Whether the Norsemen really discov ered and settled New fhigland m the eleventh century or not Prof. ben Norton Horsford. of Cambridge, will have it so. He has just erected at his own expense a massive tower at' Waltham, Mass., to mark what be believes, ia without doubt the site of the ancient city of Nornmbega. This old stronghold the professor located as the place whore 'the Norsemen stayed for a long time before they abandoned it on account of the hostility of the "Skrael- Ings," as tbe natives of the region are called in the old Sagas. A question having been raised as to the oldest living member ot the Grand Army of the Republic, tbe honor seems to belong to EUsbav Mills, Sr., who served in the Fifty-seventh Indiana Regiment. He was bom October ft?' 1804, enlisted at Richmond, IncL, in August, 1S6L and now lives at Farmland, Randolph county, and belongs to Moses Heron Post, G. A. R., No. 261. This veteran, now ia his 88th year, participated in the battles of Shiloh and Corlntb, wis under fire in all for 15 days, and took part In the marches and hardships of his regiment until September, 1863, when, from sickness and age, he was compelled to leave the service. A donkey shot a man in Bridgeport, Conn., the other night The donkey belonged to Bartholomew's Kqulne Aggregation, and his business was to fire a pistol by pulling a trig ger with his teeth. In this instance the donkey fired a cannon, which it was intended that one of the trained horses should discharge. The stage manager had his back toward the ordnance, and, the charge and wadding strik tnjjhim, hustled him over the footlights and upon the head ofHerr Strut, of tha orchestra." The stage manager was severely hurt, and the performance temporarily paralyzed. Tbe don- -key, after bombarding the manager, trotted to tbe footlights and looked complacently down on the confusion. The marriage of Alexander C. Lanier, ofthe banklngfirm of Wlnslqw. Lanier t Co., to Mrs. Stella Bering,' of Indianapolis, which was celebrated on Thursday, brings to pnblio notice an unusually romantic story. The bride groom was a suitor of Mrs. Sering- 40 years aenwi but when-be proposed tnsniaeshoMoldltteJ thatsDaJhad already promised herself "this- nvai, tsamue; Bering, -wrrougn auMM. Bg ? :' Mr. Lanier was the devoted friend of. the couple, and remained a bachelor. Both men became prominent. When Sering died, abont a year ago, h9 called Lanier and his wife to his bedside, and his farewell words to the former were: "iv&are no rears ior tsteua, ior x Know you will take care of her." The wedding has proved tae.truth of his opinion. Victor Poissant, a young electrician of, Omaha, has a very Ingenious way of killing; rats. As he has been practicing this method oX electrocution at Intervals for the past three years be may be fairly credited with having an ticipated the New York scientists whs aro now puzzling themselves and tbe rest of mankind as to the propriety of, sending Mr. Kemmler out of the world by the overhead wire system. The prying rodent Is caught in an ordinary ovaT trap, the bottom of which is covered with tin, Mr. Poissant has a small dynamo of his own ' manufacture. One wire, connected with the. dynamo, is fastened to the tin lining of the trap,, and another is thrust into tbe prisoner's cell.. The well-known propensity ol a caged rat to do battle asserts itself, and he seizes the wire be- -tween his teeth. In so doing he nukes the mis take ot his life. The circuit is completed, his jaws close on the wire with a death grip, and without a squeak and almost without- a quiver he passes into a state of. eternal desuetude, Very few persons can truthfully say that their destiny has been decided' by the. drawing ot a straw, Edward Spaneenberg, one of the most successful of the younger attor neys of Cincinnati, owes much ol the 'good things that have come to him to such'aa ap. ' parently trivial circumstance. Thettoe"wM just at the close of the war. Mr. Spmgenberg and his brother had done service uadar'the stars and stripes and with their father found themselves in Denver, then a small place, A good opening was found for one of the boys, but which was to stay there was a question. Neither had a profession. So the good father prepared two straws and, covering them in bis fingers, bade each son to pull one. Young1 Edward drew the short one and was obliged to. return to Cincinnati. He left the West with sw heavy heart, arrived In Cincinnati, procured employment without trouble, gained the fancy of the late W. T. Forrest began to study law. -. and in a few years ha.', by diligent work, and. honest methods, bnilded a practice that many an older attorney would be proud to possess. Mr. ripangenberg says the short end of the straw turned after all to be the long end. WORDS OF WITS AND WAGS. Like the politician, the dentist must have ,,- a pnll or he slldethnot along the highroad of busl- . ness success. PhUadttpMn Inquirer. ' , Briggs What would you, consider an, m an ideal marriage? Mr. S. Peek One where the", "W wife ii dumb and the husband bIlna.-Tert,, Hj Uautt HxVTttt, ' " m Squibs Are you often afflicted irjfiiK writer's cramp? Penn (x poet) Yes. I haveAsj;'. constantly.' Bqulbs It makes your band acbe,ij ,;?" doesn't it? Fenn-It never takes me lathe hand; li lt's always In the pocketbook. Xaternte" ,; American. ,' " She (Boston) Have" yon ever attempted, todepblogistlcatetbe eephrstle immlselbUltyof J the pneumatologleal anhydrousuess involved In i ' the mjrioramle protoplasm? ' Be Well, not exactly. Bnt I've eaten serapi'' ,' pie. Philadelphia Inquirer. ' , "What is Coming. First 'Female I sup-i pose you wUl attend the primary to-night? See-'', ond Female Ho, 1 guess not. You see, I promised . my husband I wonld take him to tbe theateri,and ' if I (to back on my word I know I won't a decent. 'iM meal for a week. ''Terrs Uautt Express, The secret that bothered ages And heaped ap history's pases Is now quite clear to all. To find it out was a task. Bat. the Man in the iron Mask Was an umnlra of baiebalL PhUadtlpMa Timet. Dear Sir: Please inform a constant readsg how to cure bunions in to-day's Issue. - TherArfm hnnlAnl tn tO-daV'S USUe. DOT yesterday's, nor in to-morrow's, norlnanrtbs u to come, and were yon a caram rK1 r eonstant reader you wooia ustb trap" " without being; toltL-PhUadetpMn ttvpttrtr. "1 will' marry you, Mr. Kav, only oi.one condition." .ym "Jfame it!"'eaterly responded the youngM Til submit to anything'." tfej That we. make our beme with papa la l.oui uld the beautiful maiden, softly.. tM With a. deiTialrlni- iroan the XiBsslICKy, youag man sroped his way to the door aad left sr Meseaee forever, sao naa mw.wgj Cfo IrMuw. . iJtelfFff - JS l -- -i ST5 !M ....-Su! ", . ...ii