Pittsburg dispatch. (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, November 23, 1889, Page 4, Image 4

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    THE PITTSBURG-"' ' SPATOH, SXTUKTfi3r, - NOVEMBEIlbS, n8'89.
?Pc
T.
ATTHEOLD HOMESTEAD.
It is Thanksgiving Day in a Western farm
house. This statement also applies to several other
places in these broad United States.
The farmer sits at the bead of the table and
a tear stands in his eye as he glances at his
bright, happy and hungry family.
The tear may be one of joy for the blessings
showered upon him; it may be of grief that his
firstborn is far away, or it may be born of the
fear that there is not enough turkey to go
aronnd.
The farmer says nothing, but, with the calm
ness bom of experience, carves the deceased
pride of the barnyard.
Not much is said tor a few minutes.
Everyone is too busy.
Finally, little Johnny, with his month full of
mince pie, manages to articulate: "Wonder
where our 'Dolph is to-day."
Ah, poor dear boy; I wish he were here to
day," sighs tbo silvery-haired matron at the
o ot of the table.
'Well, lie might have been here if he'd be
haved himself." says the old fanner; "but a
boy who writes spring madrigals when he ought
to he plowing; composes a sonnet to the hired
girl when be ought to be harvesting, and spins
out verses on the beautiful snow when he
ought toibe splitting fence rails, is no sort of
use around a farm."
Kvery one at the table sighs and feels that
Adolphus is indeed lost to bis family.
He is a .prodigal son for whom there can be
no fatted calf or stuffed turkey.
THE MODIGAIS lHAJTHSGITEfO.
"Where is poor Adolphus?
Perhaps our sympathy is misplaced. When
Adolphus left home and arrived in the Gas
City he found that iron was worth more per
pound than poetry.
Adolphus was sicked by a mule once, and
wag not slow to take a hint.
He was also a hustler.
To-day Adolphus is dressed to the limit, wears
a cold watch, three-inch collar, patent leather
shoes and a big-beaded cane.
He is visiting his best girl at her home in
Allegheny. They are alone.
We will not Intrude, but her mother does.
"Why don't you two come ont and sit with
the family?"
"Oh, mamma,", responds the girl, "you would
not have us leave our guests, would you?"
"What guests?"
"Why, Mrs. President Harrison, Hev. T,
DeWitt Talmage, Mrs. Senator Ingalls, Mrs.
Secretary Rusk, Mrs. Senator Cullom, Mrs.
Stanley Matthews, Fanny Davenport, W. J.
Florence, Helen Dauvray, John Gilbert, Minnie
Palmer, Hepburn Johns, Frank G. Carpenter,
Bessie llramble, Brenan, LouisPasteur, Salvini,
Lily Langtry, Stuart Robson, Rhea, W. H.
Crane, Rose Coghlan, ex-Secretary Bayard,
Kouert Metcalf, Mrs. Alexander, Dr. F. H.
Wade and a number of other prominent peo
ple." "What do you mean? Are you crazy? Where
are all these people?"
"Here, mamma," and the young lady prod
uces a copy of The Sunday Dispatch.
The old lady smiles and goes away.
Is Adolphus unhappy, and does he think re
gretfully of the farm?
Not much.
He feels very comfortable, and joins with
hundreds of thousands of other people in being
thankful for The Dispatch.
Read to-morrow's Thanksgivingissue of The
Dispatch, and you will have at least one
thing to be thankful for on Thursday.
igpafrlj.
ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8, 1S46.
Tol.44, .NO.SS9. Entered at Pittsburg Postoffice.
November H, 1SS7, as second-class matter.
Business Office 97 and99Fifta Avenue.
News Rooms and Publishing House 75,
77 and 79 Diamond Street.
Eastern Advertising office, Boom 5, Tribune
Bnildlng, Hew York.
Average net circulation of the dally edition of
The Disfatch for six months ending October
ZL, 1SS9, as sworn to before City Controller,
30,128
Copies per issue.
Average net circulation of the Sunday edition of
The DiSPATCHifor five months ending October
53,477
Copies per issue.
TERMS OF THE DISPATCH.
POSTAGE FEEE IX THE UNITED STATES.
DAILY DISPATCH, One Year t 8 DO
Daily Dispatch, Per Quarter ., 2 00
Daily Dispatch. One Month TO
Daily Dispatch, including Sunday, lyear. 10 00
daily Dispatch, including Sunday, 3m'tm. 2 SO
Daily Dispatch, Including Sunday, 1 month 90
Sunday Dispatch, One Year 2 50
Weekly Dispatch, One Year 125
the Daily Dispatch is delivered nv carriers at
3.r cents per week, or Including Sunday edition, at
ICcents per week.
PITTSBURG, SATURDAY. NOV. 23. 188a
MR. SHOEKBEBGEE'S BEHEVOLEKCE.
Again are the annals of Pittsburg en
riched with the record of the magnificent
charity of one of her citizens. The name of
the late John H. Shoenberger must be in
scribed in letters of gold upon the swelling
roll of Pittsburg's benefactors. He is already
known as a generous friend of the city
where his wealth was amassed, and where,
until of iate years, he lived, but he pre
ferred to reserve till he was beyond the
reach or care of earthly praise his greatest
gifts to this community.
As will be seen in another column of this
issne, the bequests to pnblic objects con
tained in Mr. Shoenberger's will are made
upon a grand plan. Naturally, Mr. Shoen
berger has remembered to some purpose the
church, to which he was always loyal. But
his grandest dower is designed for an insti
tution in which every Pittsburger can feel
an interest, a hospital. Seldom has a hospital
started into existence wilh $1,000,000 for
backing. There is great need for a new haven
for the victims of disease and ac
cident in Pittsburg. The existing
hospitals are doing splendid work, but all
of them are overtaxed. Crowded wards,
overworked doctors and.nnrses are features
that have called the public's attention to
the insufficiency of Pittsburg's hospitals.
To supply this need, and more than supply
it, comes Mr. Shoenberger's gift.
The frequent recurrence of benevolent
acts, such as Mr. Shoenberger's witness
Mrs. Schenley's gift of a park, the late Mr.
Thaw's largesses and Mr. Carnegie's con
tinual philanthrophy makes Pittsburg
proud "of her wealthiest citizens and grate
ful to them.
EXCEPTIONS PBOTOKJ A BULB.
Nobody needed to be assured that the
suspension of the Lawrence Bank did not
result from, or indicate, the general condi
tion of the banking business in this com
munity. Nor, with the thousand evidences
on all sides of one of the briskest and most
profitable business periods this part of the
country has ever known, does it require an
argument to demonstrate that the difficulties
of a single iron firm proceed from special
circumstances, not from the general state of
trade.
While greatly to be regretted upon every
account, the Lawrence Bank affair after all
but illustrates by contrast the solvency and
prosperity which is the common condition
of our banks and industries. What the par
ticular causes were which led the Lawrence
Bank into its complications will be more
1
HANKSGVINGS
&k M
folly shown as the examination of its ac
counts proceeds. The evidences up to the
present do not point to anything worse than
fatal errors of judgment, which are frankly
enough avowed. If the assurances of the
President and of counsel for the bank in
short, of those who onght to know its condi
tionare correct, the assets should go a good
way toward making the depositors whole.
Meanwhile, even while allowing for this
optimistic view, the collapse contains a fresh
warning against loose methods in banking.
It emphasizes very particularly the position
that a bank should know when to stand a
loss rather than to incur the risk of greater
losses by endeavoring to secure doubtful
loans by additional advances.
However the accounts of the suspended
concern may adjust themselves, there is not
the slightest reason to look npon it as pro
ducing any effect outside of the list of its
own stockholders, depositors and debtors.
SCATTERING CENSUS W0BK.
"We regret to learn that the superintend
ent of the eleventh census is showing a dis
position to fall into the usual vice of his
office in the shape of an attempt to make
the census cover every possible detail of
life in the United States. The experience
with the tenth census was enough to con
vince everyone that the scope of the census
work should be restricted rather than en
larged. But the temptation to spread out
all over the country and throughout the
next decade appears to be too much -for Mr.
Porter, as will be seen from the following
list of subjects that he hopes to tackle, if
he can get Congress to authorize it:
He intends not only to count the people, but
to ascertain, what language is spoken by every
person; how many children each married
woman has borne; how many mnlattoes, quad
roons and octoroons are included in oar col
ored population; the influence of race upon
fecundity and mortality; the relation of occu
pations to death rates, and to particular causes
of deaths; the financial condition of every
county, city, town, and incorporated village in
the United States at the end of every year
since 1SS0, with full analysis of receipts, ex
penses and assets; the business of railroad, tel
egraph, telephone and express companies; with
a variety of "new features in relation to irri
gation, dairy, and poultry products, ranch
cattle and animals other than those on farms."
There is, no doubt, a large amount of in
teresting information to be ascertained in
theselines of research. But the experience
of the last census in dealing with much less
detailed and scattering statistics, is enough
to convince any reasonable mind of the im
practicability of the scheme. What is
needed in the census is a prompt completion
of the returns. Let us have the leading
facts properly summarized and got together
within the first two or three years
of the decade. Statistical information
and reference to anything and everything,
and dragging along so far after the census
year as to lose value when they are pub
lished, are labor and money thrown away.
Let Mr. Porter confine himself to the
work already mapped out for him by Con
gress. If he does that thoroughly and
promptly he will beat the record of his pre
decessors. OHIO'S LATE8T FLUBBY.
Ohio is managing to monopolize all the
political sensations going. She began by
surprising everybody except those dread
fully sly fellows whose hindsight masquer
ades as foresight fulfilled by electing a
Democratic Governor. Since then Allen O.
Myers has been making the millionaire can
didates for Mr. Payne's Senatorial shoes wish
he were provided with a Consulate in the
Cannibal Islands, and now a new toreador
comes into the ring waving a blood-red flag
at the anti-Cleveland bull.
This third disturber of Ohio's peace is
the usually harmless brother-in-law of ex
President Cleveland, Mr. W. E. Bacon.
Exactly what Mr. Bacon meant by spend
ing several hours yesterday with Governor
elect Campbell does not seem to be known
beyond a peradventnre. But they are good
at guessing out in Ohio, and it is surmised
that Mr. Bacon's mission ranged from the
selection of a Senatorial candidate whose
record should be an indorsement of Mr.
Cleveland's tariff reform ideas, to the nego
tiation of a deal by which Mr. Cleveland's
friends in the New York delegation might
be turned over to Mr. Campbell in the
Presidental convention of 1892.
We are hardly concerned enough in Mr.
Bacon's movements to speculate about what
he said or did not say to Governor-elect
Campbell. But we do feel at liberty to say
that if Mr. Cleveland sent Mr. Bacon to
Governor Campbell with a view to influ
encing him in favor of Frank Hurd, the
free-trader, for the Senate, our estimate of
Mr. Cleveland's political sagacity will be
lowered by several degrees.
A HEW DEFABTTJBE.
An Allegheny county jury yesferday
ignored the argument of drunkenness as a
plea for lessening the degree in a murder
case. The point was made that this excep
tion was perhaps because of the color of the
defendant Such, however, is hardly to be
taken as the case. The danger o making it
a rnle to bring in verdicts of the second de
gree wherever drunkenness might be shown,
probably had more weight with the-jury.
But even in this instance the Court an
nounced that there were extenuating circum
stances, so Smith has a chance for Executive
clemency. The only difference between the
result of this and other such cases previous
ly passed upon, is that the prisoner in the
present instance will not get off with merely
a twelve years' sentence, but may have to
stay immured for life.
ENGLISH PB0TECTI0H FOB US.
The English syndicate has bobbed up
again in this country and this time in con
pection with a truly patriotic scheme to pro
hibit the importation of foreign mineral
waters by procuring the imposition thereon
of a duty of eighty per cent. It is a sweet
and precious thing to see blarsted Britons
actually striving to protect American pro
ducts. No more millennial vision has been
vouchsafed to us since America grew strong
enough to walk alone. Let us look at the
dazzling pbantasma a little closer.
In the first place it is said that at the re
cent Mineral Water Convention held in Chi
cago, the sum of $50,000 was subscribed to
be used, to influence Congress in the direc
tion of placing a prohibitory duty on ship
ments from European springs, and the figure
of such duty is placed at 80 per cent. With
such a tariff it'is thought either that the for
eign importations will cease entirely or that
the price will be advanced to snch a figure as
will justify bnt few hotel or restaurant
keepers in the country in carrying foreign
importations .in stock except at an exorbi
tant figure.
From London the news comes simultan
eously by cable that an English syndicate
has been formed to bny out all the important
mineral water springs in America. The
capital of this syndicate is said to be twenty
five millions of dollars, and its directorate
according to the same authority includes at
least three raembersof Lord Salisbury's
Ministry. The inference has been drawn that
in view of the saleof ; the. American 'springs,
to this syndicate the' movement in'Vavor
of a prohibitory duty'on foreign waters will
be abandoned. There is, however, just as
much reason to believe that the British syn
dicate, if it be a real thing, will labor just
as heartily with soul and pocketbook to kill
competition by legislation in its best mar
ket. So that there. is a chance of seeing
English capitalists arrayed here as the
protectors of American products. A mar
velous spectacle!
A CHANCE FOB THE LOST. '
- There has been some desultory talk before
about establishing in this city a refuge and
reformatory home for unfortunate women, but
yesterday the movement took tangible
snap e owing to the efforts of some noble women
and the assistance of several of our city
clergy. It now seems tolerably certain that
such a home will be set up, and that the un
fortunate women whose degradation puts
them to-day further beyond the help of
Christian civilization than the very savage as
yet undiscovered in Central Africa, will at
last be given a chance and encouragement
to come oat of the darkness.
It is not reasonable to believe that this
conrageous effort to face and fight a hideous
enormity in our boasted system of civiliza
tion will be frowned down or allowed to
fail from want of proper support There
ought to be enough hearts and purses in
Pittsburg to respond to the appeal which
will shortly be made in behalf of this insti
tution to establish it upon a firm basis. No
such place is to be found here to-day, bnt in
other large cities in this country, and uni
versally in the Old World, such homes for
the most unfortunate of women have done
and are still doing incalculable good, and
that which could be done in no other way.
The interesting cablegram which an
nounces "that the reports representing danger
of a revolution in Portugal were greatly ex
aggerated, and based merely on the vaporings
of irresponsible persons thrown off their mental
balance by heated discussion of the Brazilian
situation," reminds us of Disraeli's remark
about persons being "intoxicated by the exu
berance of their own verbosity." But wo
trust that talk may in Portugal's case lead to
the action by which people are freed and
Republics founded.
When a woman takes her revenge with a
revolver.it is usually bad for the innocent
spectators, but not dangerous to the designated
victim. A New York woman, however, flred
five shots yesterday into one man the man she
aimed at, too.
The jadded appetites of Chicagoans re
ceived a fillip yesterday in the shape of a new
blood-curdling mystery. A whole family has
disappeared and the cottage where they lived is
almost literally covered with blood. But after
the confession made by two ornamental Chicago
reporters that they had built up a sensation, in
connection with the Carlson cottage in the
Cronin case, with cotton-batting and bollock's
blood, even Chicagoans will be slow to credit
this last tale of horror.
A young man who leaves his borne, as a
young Pittsburger is reported to have done, to
see the world and gets no further than Steu
benville, has a modest appetite. He cannot
be a very terrible fellow.
The explosions of natural gas, which
brought destruction and probably death into
two households in this vicinity yesterday, prove
not so mnch the dangerous qualities of our
fuel cas as the carelessness of the average
person in dealing with it The Braddock ac
cident was certainly caused by lack of caution
in the plumber, who searched for a gas leak
with a light. Poor fellowl the penalty is his
life, probably.
Thzeb is talk of De Wolf Hopper be
coming a manager. After his triumph with
the horn we should rather expect him to blos
som into a murderous musical conductor.
The best discovery Stanley can give us
is of himself, whole and sane in body and mind
in some place with a pronounceable name
beyond the confines of barbarism. When we
know that he is all right, we shall relish his
stories about the Victoria Nyanza and the rest
of his Dark Continent a vast deal more than we
do now.
Nattjbax gas had a boom all to itself
yesterday. Bnt its upward tendency was not
at all healthy for those who were in its path.
Ir any weather could be more disagree
able than yesterday's we should like to have a
piece of it to send to our enemies about
Thanksgiving time. It was cold and miserable
enough to make a fatted turkey pray for the
early advent of an ax. ,
PEOPLE OP PKOHINENCE.
Sam Small is in New York sick. If he re
turns in time the Prohibitionists of Atlanta
may put a municipal ticket in the field with
Mr. Small at its head.
Don Pedro, late of Brazil, is about 6 feet 4
inches in height, and in every Way a physically
powerful man. He needed all his .strength to
enable him to carry around his name, which is
Joao Carlos Leopoldo Salvador Bibiano Fran
cisco Xavier da Paula Leocadio Miguel Gabriel
Rafael Gonzaga, And he has lived nearly 64
years with that name.
Ejixle Zola, who has become famously
wealthy for an author, even in these days of
flush authorship, was extremely poor upon
starting out, and before he secured a place in
Hachette's book concern: while writing his
first romances he was often reduced to bread
and water, and playfully remarks that he was
compelled "to play Arab," or to stay in bed
night and day because he had no clothes.
Nattjbaxly Colonel Robert G. Ingersoll
did not care to ask a clergyman to peform the
ceremony that wedded his daughter' Miss Era
to Walston Hill Brown, the senior member of
a banking firm in New York. Judge George
C. Barrett, of the State Supreme Court, an old
friend of the family, filled the place satisfac
torily, however. maVing a graceful little ad
dress before pronouncing the couple man and
wife.
Roselahd Park, Mr. Henry C. Bo wen's
famous place at Woodstock, Conn., is a forest
of memorial trees. Hardly a year passes that
a dozen or more are not planted by some of
Mr. Bowen's friends to commemorate some
pleasant occasion. Then, too, the family adds
a tree to the park with each successive birth
day of Mr. Bowen. On his seventy-sixth birth
day, which was celebrated this fall, a handsome
oak was planted on one of the lawns.
Db. Walteb Dbbw, of Washington, last
spring told Mrs. Campbell that her husband
would be nominated and elected for Governor
of Ohio, and asked to have the second dance
with the Governor's wife reserved for him at
the inaugural ball. That was in jest, but Mr.
Drew has received a telegram from Governor-
elect Campbell's wife reserving the second
dance, and he is In consternation over the pros
pect He is bigger than Grover Cleveland and
no more graceful in his movements, but the
tailors have been engaged to get his clothes
clothes ready for the inaugural ball.
ZEAL BEGETS BEUISE8.
An Obedient Nevr York Policeman Tries to
Charge a Stone Wall.
New Yobk, November 2X Thomas Blattery
stood 179 on the police eligible list of this city,
but be was one of the first policemen appointed
by Commissioner Martin. He began his proba
tionary duties by drilling with the awkward
squad under Roundsman Scbanwecker in the
Twenty-second Regiment Armory. Yesterday
Police Surgeon Cook reported to
Inspector Steers that on Monday afternoon the
men were drawn up In line in the armory, and
Roundsman Scliauwecker gave the order.
"Forward, double-quick time!" They ran. lie
rest of the sanad halted at their annroach to a
stonewall at the other end of the room. but 1
Blattery kept right on ana ran into tne wall.
The shock sprained his wrists and bruised his
body. The surgeon asked Inspector Bteerj
Whether he should prefer charges against Slat
teryfor destroying public property, the police
1
man Deionging' to uro cut, or against ocnau
wecker for not;cauing "uaitr-
THE TOPICAL TALKER.
The Bank Failure of To-DaT Recall Inci
dents of a Grand Predecessor Col.
McCaull' Affairs An Idyl of the
Sixth Street Bridge.
Everybody was talking of bank failures
yesterday; retailing experiences and bits of gos
sip about the Penn Bank smash and other dark
financial days.
One story of that awful Penn Bank collapse
that was told to me has never been in print
although a good many people know it Among
the depositors in the bank was a young railroad
clerk. He had accumulated SLG00, and every
cent of it was in the Penn Bank
when it suspended payment for the first time.
When that institution reopened its doors and
reports were given out by the friends of the
bank that largo sums had been lent to it to tide
over the rough weather, the young man whose
savings were at stake was urged by his com
panions in the office to draw bis money ont
But he refused to very manfully; he was satis
fled to let his money rest, he said, now that the
bank bad all the money it needed, and the sup
port of so many wealthy men.
We know how misplaced that confidence was
now, but It is surprising at this day to know
how many smart men of business were deluded
into a belief of the Penn Bank's solvency after
its first suspension. '
V
A VERY shrewd business man had some $70,
000 in the Penn Bank when it went under the
first time. A brother of his had S10.000 or $12,
000 also on deposit in the same place. When
the doors were thrown open the depositor of
the smaller sum was among the first to get it
from the tottering bank's clutches. His elder
brother made Bport of him, accusing nlm of
timidity unworthy a business man for 24 hours
or more. The $70,000 were allowed to remain
intact ostensibly In the Penn Bank. The
next day the situation was reversed, but the
lucky younger brother had not the heart to
plague his hard hit senior.
Happily the Lawrence Bank failure seems to
lack the most distressing features of the
catastrophe which shook Pittsburg to its center
in 1883.
THE report that Col. McCaull is to retire
from the management of bis opera company,
particnlars of which including the denial of its
truth will be found on the local page, would
have bad more probability if the redoubtable
impresario had not such able agents to look
after bis interests, as Mr. B. D, Stevens and
Madamo Cottrelly.
CoL McCaull's ill health has been a very
serious drawback to him for the last two or
three years. He has done a deal of good in his
time for the lighter opera of our stage, and at
many times he has had to fight very hard for
his professional life, It will be a loss to the
American stage when Col. McCaull drops out
of the managerial ranks.
V
The wind blowing from the southwest with a
vicions force made the passage of the Sixth
street bridge last evening very unpleasant The
rain was nearly sleet, and it stung one's face
like small shot As usual, the lower side of the
bridge walk was under water.
Under one umbrella, just in front of me.
crossing the bridge bravely, were a youth and
a maiden, the latter presumably fair. Any
how, she had a musical voice a thing a man
will notice under any circumstances, even in a
rain-storm.
Said she: "This is dreadful, Charlie!"
Said he: "Yes but it ought ;to cheer you to
think that I am sheltering you. This umbrella
is my love and the Allegheny is the world's
wild stream, and the storm the trials and
troubles we are sure to meet my dear."
"That's all very well," she replied, with a
laugh, "but imagination won't keep my feet
dry and, sir, if your love is no bigger and no
better able to protect me than your umbrella, I
won't promise to cross the, river of life with
you."
And then a gust of wind, I suppose, pressed
the umbrella very close to the girl's head, and
the pursuit of sentiment under difficulties was
taken beyond my ken.
LOYE LAUGHS AT LOCKSMITHS.
The Old Proverb Is Again Exemplified by
n Washington Wedding.
Washington, D. C, November 22. a ro
mantic story of youthful love and parental op
position culminated in this city this morning
in a quiet marriage ceremony at the residence
ot Rev. Dr. Addison, pastor of Trinity Church.
The first arrival at the Metropolitan Hotel
was a pretty brunette young ladv, who regis
tered as "Mrs, E. B. Wilcox, Greenup, HI." A
young man who came In soon after on the
Southern train, wrote himself down as "E. B.
Wilcox, North Carolina." Without unneces
sary delay Mr. Wilcox proceeded to the ladies'
reception room, where he found "Mrs. Wilcox"
awaiting him. it afterward transpired that the
young couple were not husband and wife, but
lovers and elopers. Mr. Wilcox balls from
Rock Mount, N. C. He is a nephew of Gover
nor Fowle. At Greenup, III., he met Bertha A.
James and fell in love with her. Her father
refused his consent to a marriage, and the
young couple got united by a notary. After
ward learning that this was invalid they
parted, Mr. Wilcox going South. But Bertha
was not to be baulked, and she soon managed
to escape, telegraphing her lover to meet her
here. The result was the meeting and subse
quent wedding.
THE PET -DOG CLUB.
It Met and Petted as Usual In New York, if
It Wasn't n Novelty.
The annual meeting of the National Ameri
can Pet Dog Club was held on Thursday in
New York at the house of Mrs. Charles Wheat
leigh. President of the club since its organiza
tion, nine years ago. It was resolved to strlko
out from the by-laws the list of cocker span
iels, beagles and fox terriers, so that the club
can become a member of the Kennel Clnb, in
which it is already proposed. "Then we can
have a pet dog show," said Miss Bannister, who
is the possessor of ten little pet pugs, black and
tans, and others at her home in
Cranford, N. J. "We can give a
splendid show when the time comes, and it will
be under the auspices of the Kennel Club."
The club voted to have a petition presented to
Mayor Grant asking him to amend the present
poand law, so that a dog that is licensed can be
taken out in winter time without a string or
chain. "The license Is no protection, now,"
said Mrs. Wheatleigh, hugging her puggy
Yuma Yuma, daughter of Stingo Sniffles, the
famous London pug that sports 17 prize medals.
"In its present shape, the law is such that a
dog catchercan snatch up your dog whether
11CCUSOUV. wvi-wwnMUua .......,,. v
him."
TO THE IKJUKI OP KEYSTONEES.
Grand Army Said to be Up In Arms Over
Pension Dismissals.
trBOM A STAFF COMtESPONDEXT.l
Washington, November 22. If Grand
Army men were indignant at the removal of
Corporal Tanner tneymay oe up m arms
against the almost vicious treatment of some
of the employes of the Pension Bureau, who
do not appear to have been at all responsible
for their rerating.
Two of the employes whose resignation have
been asked are Pennsylvanians, Captain J. Ed
ward Engle and George A, Bond. The former
is assistant chief of the Record Division, a
soldier who lost the whole of one
arm in the service, and who has a large family
to maintain. He was rerated to SIS a month,
and got about 11,800 back pay.
The press associations were given a story that
Commissioner Tanner demanded that Engle
return his back pay, but the Dispatch cor
respondent has positive proof that what was
done in Engle's case was with the full consent
of Tanner, and that others who applied for re
rating were referred to Engle by Tanner as one
who could give them all the information they
desired.
WILLIAM THAW.
rWIUTTEN FOB THE DISPATCH.l
I walk, an old man, down the crowded street
And scan the race or every one I meet;
Yet one I miss, which from my youth I met
A friendly face I never will forget.
Boccesswas his, and Plenty's turning horn
Was emptied in his crib when he was born;
Be did not care to gormandize, like some,
Denying to the dog the fallen crumb.
Kol with a lavish hand and kindly voice
He gave; nor from the many made he choice;
Bntgaveto all. if 'twas but little gtv'n
A crust may prove a key to open heaven.
Nor gave he only while he had the power;
But Sampson like, he, did In his last hour
Bit greatest feat-he.left a will which reads
The noble record of his manly deeds.
Who reads may learn from God'smost sacred word
"Who gives the poor lends also to the Lord;"
Therefore I feel he has a great estate
Where angels dwell, and Christians congregate.
To sleep is not the end of Ufe On earth
Our names will live, If mnch or little worth; ,
Bat longest his who only cstes for pelf , .
Toprove be loves his neighbor as himself. .
PirrsBur.G; November 2 1SS9. AHOS, .
A PHI lAPPAPSI BARQUET.
Collegians Mods. Merry at the Seventh
Avenne Lat Evening-,
The Pittsburg Alumni Association ot the
Phi Kappa Psi Fraternity held its first recep
tion and banquet last evening in the parlors
and special dining room of the Seventh Ave
nue HoteL It was one of those occasions so
dear to the hearts of college men, and could
only be appreciated by those who have re
membrances of fraternity life in years gone
by. There were gathered together in the par
lors men who, since leaving college, have ac
quired fame in the legal fraternity, in the med
ical profession, in the pulpit, and in business
circles. All present bad come there to enjoy
themselves, and their highest expectations
were fully realized. Before proceeding to the
banquet hall, some routine business was trans
acted, and the following efficers of the associa
tion were elected for the ensuing year: Presi
dent, J. C. Bergstresser; Vice President, Thom
as J. Gallagher; Becretary, Charles W. Ashley,
and Treasurer. Albert J. Walker.
The Committee of Arrangements, consisting
of Charles W. Ashley, Chairman; Albert J.
Walker and Horace J. Miller, had spared no
pains to make the affair a success, and the
dining hall presented quite an attract
ive nictnre, with the daintily-arranged tables,
bright lights, handsome silver service and
costly draperies. The pronrletors of the
Seventh Avenue are noted for the excellent
banquets they prepare, but upon this occasion
they seemed to have ontdone any former ef
forts in this direction.
After the menu bad been fully discussed, the
tables were cleared oft, cigars were brought on,
and the following toasts were then responded
to: George A. Jenks, ex-Solicitor General of
the United States, acting as toast master:
"Phi Psi in Aetivo Life." Dr. Romr Wllllamm
"The Beneficial Effects of College Fraterni
ties," T. H. B. Patterson; "The Shield," Chas.
K. Yeager; 'The Ladies," Wm. F. Wise. Pro
miscuous toasts then followed, and at a late
hour the jovial company disbanded, to meet at
the call of the President
Fraternal telegrams were read during the
evening from the Springfield, Cincinnati and
Chicago Alumni Associations, and letters of
regret from many prominent men who are
members ;of the fraternity, but who were not
able to be present
OLD FASHIONED MUSIC.
The Second Entertainment of the Y. M. C. A.
Coarse a Success.
Rather refreshing was the concert given by
the Mundell Sisters at Old City Hall, last
evening. Those who enjoy old-fashioned,
familiar melodies were in the majority in the
audience, and the programme "and rendition of
the various features were so pleasing that
encores on every number were responded to
not only once, but sometimes twice or thrice.
The admirable good nature with which the
ladies responded to encores made them great
favorites, and their singing was extremely
pleasing. Their voices were sweet and clear
and they sang naturally and apparently with
out effort
They divided the honors abont equally. Mrs.
Lavlnia Mundell-Sutcliffe as first soprano, Mrs.
Ogden Mnndell-Crane as second soprano. Miss
Isabella F. Mundell as first alto, and Miss M.
Mundell as second alto.
The toilets were party length and in harmo
nizing colors, cream, lavender, pink and butter
cup yellow. Dark-haired and dark-eyed, with
intelligent, Interesting faces, they made a very
charming combination and succeeded in giving
pleasure to a weii-niiea nouse.
New York is the borne of these ladies, where
they are ail engaged in musical work except
when taking their annual concert tour. This
year the Southern States are going to be vis
ited. Tnelr accompanist was Miss Carrie L.
Whitney, of this city.
The Y. M. C. A. are to be congratulated on
the happy selection of talent that made their
second entertainment of the season such a
success,
THANKSGIVING EEALISM.
Sunday Turkey to Go to the Poor Through
Charitable Ladles.
A big turkey and a large bunch of celery will
make Thanksgiving Day a reality for a large
number of deserving families.
The ladies of the Society for the Improve
ment of the Poor have been busy for several
days distributing tickets among people known
to be worthy. Guskv is to donate the turkeys.
Pittsburg will receive 275. Allegheny 175 and
the Dorcas Society GO. The anniversary of the
society will be celebrated on December 1 in St.
Peters Church, when addresses will be made
by Rev. W. R. MackayandDr. Passavant The
election of officers for the ensuing year will
take place the Monday following.
WAED'S LECTURE POSTPONED.
A Fashionable Andlence Disappointed
on1
an African Expedition.
The lecture of Herbert Ward, the African
explorer, which was to have been delivered at
.Lafayette Hall last evening, was postponed.
The cause was on account of a misunderstand
ing abont a magic lantern. Instead of the lat
ter a calcium bad been provided, and it was
impossible to give the lecture without the illus
trations. The hall was filled with an audience
composed of the best people in the two cities.
They were given checks, which will be good
for the next entertainment given under the
auspices of the Press Club. The lecture will
probably be delivered on the 28th inst or later.
PHILHAKMONIC MINSTEELS.
A Variegated Entertainment by a Popular
Organization.
A goodly audience in Gymnasium Hall,
Shady avenue, greeted the "minstrels" last
evening by the Philharmonic Society, assisted
bv other well-known and well-liked talent
'The programme, which was of considerable
length, comprised real old darkey melodies and
the bones and tambo were in perfect keeping
with the spirit of the scene and songs. A bur
lesque in one act entitled "Little Lord Fauntie
roy" concluded the evening's entertainment"
Social Chatter.
The annual dinner and supper served by the
ladies of the First Methodist Church yesterday
and the day before was a decided success, both
in cookery and in receipts for said cookery.
The proceeds will be devoted to foreign mis
sions. ,
The Ladles Aid Society of St Andrew's
Church, have added largely to laurels already
won by their indescribable tempting lunch,
which they have served for the past two days.
A laeqe reception will be tendered by Mrs.
and Mrs. Joseph R. Woodwell, of Walnut
street, East End, this evening, when their
daughter. Miss Josio. will make her debut
Me. and Mks. Peank N. Hoffetot and
daughter. Miss Ada, were "at home" to a large
number of friends last evening at 8 o'clock.
Mrs. F. D. Messleb, of Fifth avenue.
Shadyside, entertained a few friends to a 6
o'clock dinner last evening.
Mbs. Chaot.es Metcaif, of Fnlton street
was "at home" to a number of her friends yes
terday afternoon.
Mbs. H. L. Abbott, of Neville street, will
give a reception on the 6th of December.
Mbs. James Hates, of the Southside, gave
a charming -o'clock tea yesterday.
EXPLOSION IN A CflUECH
Which Fortunately Occurred Oat of Ser
vloo Time.
New York, November 22. The Pres
byterian Church at No. 228 West Thirty
fifth street was visited by an explo
sion and fire yesterday afternoon, for
tunately before the hour for the evening ser
vice. While the pastor was in his study,
in the rear of the church, at 3:30
o'clock, the whole structure was shaken.
The pastor rushed out and found the church
full of smoke and flames. On the roof, near
the front three men were at work makingsome
repairs, and they were hurled to the ground.
By that time the woodwork about tbe entrance
and in the vestibule was ablaze, but the fire de
partment promptly stopped the flames. The
explosion was found to nave been caused by
escaping gas from a meter located in the base
ment under tbe vestibule. A heatingpipe from
the furnace passed over the gas meter, and it
is supposed to have led to.the explosion.
BEATER PUNKIN HEADS.
A Learned Disquisition Upon Latest Devel
opment In That Line.
Since the signature to the following com
munication was .evidently appended "as an
evidence of good faith, and not necessarily for
publication," the letter whicb,by the way, was
not written by the -"F. Bock" alluded to Is
given verbatim. In tbe virgin purity of its'
composition, it illustrates so much better the
idea of some of their big pumpkin heads. as en
tertained among Beaver county people them
selves, that it would spoil a work of art to put
it into Queen's English:
A'ov.ara.
Bbown'e, Pa,
To the Editor
pleas pabllah In the T! tUbarth dispatch!
F. Bock "had a pnnkln stock that had 33 thirty
three pnmklns on and weighting 671 pounds or one
weighting 20f pounds and the vine measured
abont 700 feet , . '
this pnnkln stock grne in Beaver County Fenn'a.
pleas send me asample copy of your pafer. '
GOSSIP FROM GOTHAM
Two Old Itallana Imposed On.
riCXWTOKX'BtntXAU' SrxCIALS.1
NEW Yobs, November 22, Two elderly
Italians to-day earned a little bundle, knotted
up in a handerchlef, into tbe bank of P. Capon
lgrl, in-Mulberry street and laid it on tbe glass
shelf before the receiving teller's window.
Slowly and carefully the knots were untied.
The handkerchief was open, and exposed to
view was a bundle of worthless paper. The
eyes of the two Italians fairly bulged from their
heads. Both fell upon their knees, and with
innumerable "madre de Dios" and Santa
Marias.' implored the return of their money.
It was some time before they could be quieted
bnt finally they managed to tell the story of
bow they bad been robbed. They were work
lngmen, who had saved 250 between them
during their residence in America. This morn
ing they started for the(bank to get their
money changed Jnto Italian currency,
preparatory to sailing for tbo
old country to-morrow. A stranger Joined them
in tbe street and learned all about their plans.
He persuaded them to accompany him into a
small office in a back alleyway, where be intro
duced his pal as a money changer. His pal
wrapped $300 up in a handkerchief and asked
the men bow much money they bad. One
I pulled out S100 and the other $150, and this
money was nanuea 10 ine new-iouna menu,
he m turn giving them the handkerchief sup
posed to contain $300. In some way, however,
paper bad been substituted for the money, but
of this fact-the Italians were of course ignorant,
and they did not discover the fraud until they
arrived at Mr. Caponlgri's bank. The police
are still looking for the swindlers. The game
in question is frequently, played by ah organ
ized gang in "Little Italy," though generally
for small stakes. Complaints are infrequent
however, as the gang usually frightens its vic
tims into silence.
A Bod in Fickle for Mr. Rants.
The war vets of Kings County have a rod in
pickle for Pension Commissioner Ranm, be
cause he has removed Major Harry Phillips
from tbe position of Chief of the Middle Divi
sion of the united States Pension Office. Major
Phillips was for several years almoner of the
Brooklyn Bureau of Employment and Belief
Society, and acquired a great reputation for
philanthropy among the widows and children
ot his former comrades. Becretary Noble was
petitioned recently to retain Major Phillips. A.
movement is on foot among Brooklyn vets to
file a bitter protest shortly, against the Secre
tary's action in the matter. Phillips was an
appointee of Tanner.
Pound at tbe Foot of a CI1K
The dead body of a worklngman with a frac
tured skull was found on the Hudson River
Railway, at the foot of a cliff near One Hun
dredth street this morning. The body was still
warnu The man had not been run over, no
train having passed since he fell or jumped
from the cliff above. A stone wall rises against
"the cliff at this point for some 28 or 80 feet Be
yond the track is tbe river. He had undoubt
edly dived from the cliff, whence he could not
see the railway, thinking that he would strike in
the river. It was from this height that a young
girl tried to throw herself into the river a year
ago because her lover had refused to marry
her. She escaped with her life.
Fatally Shot Whllo Hunting.
James Conkllng, Benjamin Foster and Ben
jamin Tyson, of Chatham, N. J., went out hunt
ing, this afternoon. While they were stopping
In the woods for luncheon, Foster accidentally
dropped his gun, which was cocked, to tbe
ground. The gun went off ana sent a charge of
shot through Tyson's neck. He died instantly.
The Heaviest of All Subscribers.
John H. Craig, of Kentucky, is the heaviest
subscriber to the World's Fair Gurantee Fund.
He weighs '600 pounds. He put his name down
in Mayor Grant's subscription book for $5, to
day. Mr. Craig claims to be the biggest man
in the world, although he does not exhibit him
self for money. He is an Odd Fellow, and
wears a gold medal given to him, on account of
his size, by the members of. his lodge.
,
LINCOLN AS A WATCHMAN.
For Half as Hoar a President Oace Acted
a Policeman.
tSPZCIAT. TXZXQBAU TO THZ SUP ATCH.1
WASHHtoxoir, November 22. James Etter,
an old soldier who for over 20 years has been
one of tbe day watchmen in the Winder build
ing, which is occupied by the bureau of the
Second Auditor of the Treasury, relates with
pride an interesting experience he had tn 1863.
As he was alone In the building one sultry July
Sunday morning, a tall, clerical-looking man en
tered fromSeventeentb street and politely asked
him whether Surgeon Barnes was in his office.
He replied that Barnes bad not been there
since the preceding day. The stranger thanked
him and retired, but returned half an hour
later with the same inquiry. Again receiving
a reply in the negative, he said: "I am Mr.
Lincoln, the President You, allow me to take
your place as watchman, while you go to Sur
geon Barnes' house and tell him I want to see
him. Let me have your badge, and I will sit
right here in your chair and carefully attend
to your duties till you come back."
The veteran, in relating the story, says
that
for a moment he was speechless from astonish
ment but auicklv recovering himself, tin
pinned bis badge on the coat of the President
of the United States and hurried off after Dr.
Barnes, whom he brought back with him,
"Welt,'' said the President, as be returned the
badge to its rightful possessor, "1 have proven
true to my trust as your substitute; and nothing
has gone wrong while you were away." The
old watchman feels proud to think that he is
the only policeman who was ever relieved by
the President Surgeon Barnes lived on Lafay
ette square, and it took Etter half an hour to
go there and back; so for that space of time
Abraham Lincoln acted as a watchman at the
Treasury Department
BECOMING THE FASHION,
Enter Three Nevr World Glrdlera
Froa
Auitralla.
St. Pattl, Mrmr., November 22. Walter A.
Bain, Percy Lake and James Luke, of Vic
toria, Australia, reached here last evening.
They were on a tour of the world from Mel
bourne, a bet having been made by A.
Bryce Bain, proprietor of the Colorain
-4JWo7, a Victoria sporting paper, and
a BaUarat banker that the trip could
not be made, under certain conditions, in eight
months. The trio reached Tacoma September
20 and started across tbe continent on foot,
following the line of the Northern Pacific.
The conditions of the bet are that every appli
ance may be used for traveling after reaching
New York, but the iournev across North
America must be made on foot The bet is foe
3,000. and the pedestrians are due at tbe Auck
land Club, in Melbourne, just eight months
from the date of their departure. The travel
ers are in good health and are confident of
success.
TEI-STATE TB1FLES.
A Btrnisn commercial man at the depot
at Meadville was annoyed at the manner in
which his necktie sat on the back of his neck,
and in endeavoring to arrange It the collar
button dropped out and down inside his shirt
bosom just to that he was able to reach hut not
to rescue it After a severe struggle he asked
a gentleman to aid him, and the tatter's bung
ling work soon worked the button further
down. Tbe dude sought a private room and
began divesting himself of clothing sufficient to
capture the escaped, but before he could finish
his toilet the train pulled out and Mr. Dude
had lost train, time and his temper all for one
insignificant, ten-cent-a-dozen bone collar
button.
On one street in Akron, .only four squares
long, reside 13 families of the name of Brown.
Tbere.wereU until last week, when one of
them moved away, the members of the family
declaring that they conld stand the pressure no
longer. Mall intended for, one individual'
would be scattered all along the street, and
there were other annoyances too numerous to
mention.
On Saturday afternoon some of the em
ployes of Fordhook Seed Farm, Bucks county,
fired one volley ot five shots at a flock of crows
and killed 39.
A noa shipped by express froa Mauoa
Chunk to Bethlehem found its way bock by
loot
Gbovx Chadwtck, llTing near Morgan town,
W.Va., the other moraiBg Meevered a large
foxlnhlsahlckea coop. Tie aatoal had ef
fected an entrance and destroyed ail ss
poultry, hut wM usable to rutsrt.
AX "IsjwMLXMkMd'S
TtoAcilmr
1 .
.e. " -. '
CUX10U8 COBDBHSATIOiW''
Kiverside, Cal., markets showed a 27Jf
pound potato and a 40-pound turkey this week.
Only 13 of the 375 Senators and'Eepre
sentotives who sat in Congress- in ISTOtne Ceni
tennial year, still retain their seats.
The Kentucky University this year
opened its doors to female students, arid now
the names of 20 young women are entered upon
its rolls. f
Buffalo Bill contemplates teHnjf-' his
Wild West show to India. Certain Indian
potentates who visited Paris this summer ad- '
vised him to do so.
A. yonng brakeman numrri 'Prank
FJunattfell from an Erie train near Newburg,
N. Y., and three cars and a caboose passed over
brohouldS?ladi,rttl1
A Smith county, Kan., girl won $50 the -"
other day by husking and cribbing 60 bushels ot '.'
corn in five hours. There's no use talking, a -" '
girl who can husk corn that fast hasnobusl-
ness to be single, with so many men waiting;, to" '
be supported. ' "- y-
Of the seven weeds which the' "weed t,
law" of Wisconsin requires farmers, under '
Piiy'aV .de,tr?7'n1' one Is a natiTO of the. lh
H?n!S.tateSa" aS Iest bei"E naturalised-,
importations from Europe, where they aresfv"
common wild plants. '-
During the last two years the Italian '-;
army has been Increased by 30,000 meriSOO
field gans, and 6,000 cavalry. Never was the
army so numerous or powerfully organized aa
o.?!hnnn,etne.attempt t0 keep up with " '
Germany's military step.
Something like the miracle of the loaves ' .
and fishes was recently performed at Oakland,
Me. The managers of a church supper pre- '
paeed for 75 guests, but had an unexpected,. J
crowd and made their supplies spread to the -x
entertainment of 125 people. ' :
The notion that snuff taking is-one of1
the vices that are dying out in this counter Is
pretty thoroughly disposed of by the report of
the Internal Revenue bureau, which tells of a
material Increase in tbe amount of taxes de
rived from snuff the past year.
Boston is now receiving letters from
San Francisco in four days and 19 hours.
When General Bherman was a young man in
California, orders which the War Department
iu nasmngionsencnim in Beptemoer aid not
reach him till the following-Hay.
It is singular that 63 percent oftha
West Point cadets fall on mental examination.
The plan of competitive examinations for their
appointment is general, yet more fail after ap
pointment than when their selection was left
to the judgment of the members of Congress.
The Paris'almanaca are always funny,
whether designed to be so or nor. One of them,
for 1890 contains a fine portrait of ex-President
Cleveland, and labels It "M. Harrison, le
nouveau President des Etats-Cnis," and uses
an equally good and equally large portrait of J
Thurman for "M. Morton, le nouveau Vice .
President."
A KezarJFalls,iIe.. correspondent says:
There is quite a stir in this section about
Some kind of a wild animal cHvfne rhoaA tA' f.
different parties. Our butcher tried the' speed '''
ot his horse one night, between Lord's ni,
Effingham, N. H, and the bridge at Province
Falls, and distancing the varmint only: by
reaching the open land through the long
swamp. It is supposed the smell of' the bloody
meat lured him on. It seems from description
it was a huge lonpcervier or lynx."
William B, Schultz, of Yonkers, S". T.,
was fined SI there under section 290 of the
Penal Code by Justice Thayer yesterday for hav
ing given half a cigarette he was smoking to a
boy under 13 years old. Dr. G. B. Balch, Presi
dent of the Society for the Prevention of
Cruelty to Children, made the complaint
against Schultz. -Justice Thayer afterward re
mitted the fine, but reprimanded the prisoner
and cautioned him against repeating the of
fense.
According to recent information can
nibalism Is very prevalent in some places la
West Africa, near to the British settlement,
if not actually in the protectorate itself, and so
serious and frequent has become the kidnap
ing of Individuals who have gone out alone
that in some parts persons dare not venture
beyond their own town for fear of capture.
Several cases are reported to have taken place
on the broad road from Bendoomab to Dodo
and Kibbim.
Sir persons were reported to
have been killed am
id eaten.
Windham, Me., folks are laughing at, a -''
newly-married maa of that town wha'went to.. -p - '
Portland shopping, taking the bride WiWhiinjjjr
but who had forgot her when he started fojElt,,
home, and had nearly reached Windham bev -ij,
fore the uneasy consciousness that he had for
gotten something finally resolved Itself into the i '
realization ot the fact that it was his wife who 1
was left behind. An absent-minded Lewiston
youth had a similar experience a few years
ago, omy ne auurt rememner me missing laay
until somebody at home asked why she hadn't
returned.
A bear has been making havoc with
sheep in Burlington, Me., having killed several'
in that vicinity. Three traps have been set for
Bruin, but he seems to hare a preference thus
far for keeping out of them. He may have had
a previous experience with trap's similar to
that ot an old bear killed there a year ago. He
would take the bait from the trap every time it
was baited, but could not be induced to "put
his fdot in to It" Finally a rifle was set for him
and he was killed by it. Then the reason for
his caution was apparent for it was found that
he had lost a paw In a former tussle with a trap.
An odd incident occurred at the dinner
given the other night in Washington to the
members of the Maritime Conference. The
Ice cream was served in individual molds of
varied form. By a chance the dish served to
the representative from China represented a
Chinese lady in a ridiculous Dosture. When
the delegate saw it his face flushed a little, and
there was some fear on the part of those who
noticed it that he had been offended. He held
the spoon in his hand for a moment and there
was an awkward silence in bis immediate
neighborhood. Then he immediately cut the
ice ladv's head off and ont It in his mouth.
"xou are not gallant,'' remarked his neighbor'
to relieve the situation by a pleasantry.
"That's the way we do them in China," replied
the delegate from Confucius, and no one could
tell whether he was offended or not .
The Italian wine industry is in -a most
depressed state owing to the quarrel with
France. Having laid, themselves out td suit
the French demand and adapted their wines
for mixing up with other, sorts, the Italians
And it difficult to secure new markets. One
great fault of the wine is that they do not
keep sound, and it is now proposed that they
should be distilled Into cognac or wine alcohol,
which is much superior to the alcohol made
from potatoes, beet root or molasses. If the
experiments which have been made on animals
are a fair test, the difference is very Important.
An equal dose of the two kinds was ad
ministered to two small pigs of the' same age
and constitution. The one which bad taken
wine alcohol, looked drunk but by no means
sick, and was able to walk; the other was
unable to move and bad to Ue down in a state
of collapse.
FTJN MAKERS' TOLLY.
Tom T ay I kiss your little baby sister? .
Fannie (aged 18, demurely No, she isn't old
enoogb. Xutuey Weekly.
They Kept Both Kinds. Old Lady (to l
clerk in general store xoong man.1 want same
powder.
Clerk Yes. m; boy or girt Pue.
TT. .WAAA MA Mnrf ai4 1, A A .. j-i A..ll flttV
Till he melted her heart so cold.
Then he married the ice man's daughter ,
And now he Is rolling In gold.
Boston Courier
Little Bessie Fred, what do you thin?,V:
Mr. Stokes had a perplexity fit yesterday.
Master Fred Perplexity fltr Ob, dear, what a -;4
girl! You mean a parallel stroke. .Harper's jH
Xoung People
A Bural Community. "Where do, yoa-, .j:
find the best market for your goods?" asked a re- .''.
porter of a manufacturer of agricultural lmple-
ments. 'v
Well," was the reply, "1 sell more to'the
farmers of Chicago than to those of anyotheil
place." Timt. I
Almost a Give Away. "What an the
Knights of the Bat Mr. Dolly" asked Amy of her '
caller. "lwtatterm in the paper this morn!
"" -Ai'
"Saturday night usually," replied xrouy.
ient-mlnde41y: "er-I mean-that Is to say.
Knights of tte Bat are baseball players, i
Amy."" Ti-eie.
He-Followed fcsiructions. Irate wif
John Hawkins, you were'broaght home on a-shnt
ter again last might 1 want you to understand
that this It to be the last time. . a,
John BawUns-Yes, Matilda. . -',
ThesexterenlBr- ha made the dots promise
take hiss beae in a wheelbarrow, as hi wife ob-'
jected to shutters. Judge.
They All Do It -"Where art yoa
sayreKytetfd7"
vat seetetr, stt," the taia.
svrewKstrou.mrBrettymldI" .
tryM'votasty of mosey, good sir, "tbe
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