J-f ft : V 20 . SOME OF OUR CRITICS. -, William Black, the ffovelist, Talks " About Amateur Reviewers "Who GIVE GOOD ADVICE TO AUTHORS. Unknown Correspondents TTho Write Successful Authors. to 15 ADM YFHQ SOUGHT HEE KEPHEW fk lYiumns fob thz bisfatch.1 v There is almost a pathetic touch in the in- t genuous fashion in which the reader of a P book, when he has finished the last page, i will forthwith draw in his chair to the table and proceed to write to the author, though 1 the latter mar be quite unknown to him. He seems to think that someone has been talking to him, and that in common courtesy he must answer. Sometimes it is merely a , friendly "Thank you; good bye; hope we may meet again;" occasionally he feels , called upon to enter into artless con fidences and will prattle cheerfully, through several sheets, about him self and his views of life; sot un frequently he will warn you, more in sor row than in anger, of the perils he sees in store for you. It is, however, when he thinks he has detected some small blunder that he suddenly changes his tone; and then , he becomes scornful or sarcastic or indig- nant, according to the mijod of the moment. "How would you like," writes An Outraged American, "if one of our authors on this side were to mangle oneof yonrbestknown Scotch snngs, and sneak ot WhaH be King but Edward?' How, sir, would you like that? And yet in your last book you talk of 'Carry Me Back to Tennessee.' Why, any child in an American nursery knows that the proper title is "Carry Me Back to Old Kentucky. " "Whereupon the author, if he be meek and humble, as authors ought to be, will write back:. "Dear Sir Ton surely ought to be aware that 'EUieBhee.or Carry Me Back to Tennessee, is one of the most familiar banjo songs of your native conn try;" while, on the other hand, if he is proud and haughty, as some authors un doubtedly and "unfortunately are, he will thrust the letter into " the waste paper basket, and the outraged Ameri can will bear him a grudge to his dying I day. Indeed, correspondents should pause and reflect before rashly assuming that they have canght an anthor tripping. The bet ting is all in favor of his being right and their being wrong. In like manner with a picture: when a critic thinks he sees some thing amiss in a landscape, the chances are that it is he who is mistaken and not the artist for the simple reason that the artist is a trained observer, who has been all his life teaching himself to keep his eves open. For my own part, I nowadays find it safer to accept, without question or demur, any- " thing I meet with in a book. THE ATJTHOB KNEW BEST. Once upon a time, in a novel by my t friend Mr. Payn, I came upon a striking passage in which the heroine was described as being buffeted about by a terrible gale, insomuch that her raven-black hair streamed out to windward. "With the lieht heart of an amatenr reviewer I wrote to Mr. Payn and drew his attention to the fact that, as a general rule, anything blown by a gale would stream ont not to windward, but to leeward. But the answer came sharp and prompt; the description was perfectly cor rect;the heroine (-aid the author of her being) had been taking a great deal of iron tonic, her hair had become electrically charged, and had floated out to ward the north, irrespective of the wind currents of the storm. So I object no more. "When I find at the conclusion of a tragic tale that the hero fells the heroine senseless, carries her into a rowing-boat, shoves ont to sea, and withdraws the plug so that pres ently there is not a trace of either the boat or its cargo on the wide and empty waste of waters, I have nothing to say. Ordinarily one wonld expect sneh'a boat to fill, capsize and then float bottom upward; but boats in novels do strange things, and so (astrono mers tell me) do moons. The communications addressed to an author by unknown correspondents are not always so disinterested as those t have men tioned; they have not always his guidance or instruction as their sole and simple aim. It is easy, lor example, to discern why tho following letter was written: Sir I am so great an admirer of your works that 1 wish, out ot gratitude, to present you with a character which would prove an ex cellent subject for yonr brilliant and caustic pen. I am sore you conld male the whole country roar with laughter over the airs and affectations of the person I mean. Imagine a woman of SO a spinster just mad about yonnr mep, and making herself so ridiculous you never saw the lite, ennning and simpering In the most disgusting way, and Ton wouldn't think butter would melt in her mouth unless yon had the crnel misfortune to live in the same house with her and see her temper when there were no younp men about. Just a cat she Is sly, suspicious, vindictive, penurious to the last farthing, and breaking Into rages all for nothing, except to crush and wound the feel ings of those unbappilv dependent on her. Dear sir, I should be delighted to send yon all particulars lor a boot roisht be written about her meanness and jealousy; and I think a clever artist might be got to make a picture of her, with her false plait not the same color, and her two false teeth. Oh, you should see her putting on her airs and graces when she can get a Rood looking younrr man to sit and tall, to her; and then, the minute he is irone, the dust she raises with her wicked tongue and nasty temperl I am sure yon would make the whole country laugh; and 1 should like to see the look on her face when the book came from the library as I should take care it did. If you will undertake it, I will furnish you with all information; and I am certain that It will add to your treat fame, which is the solo reason why I write to you. lam, sir, yonr de voted admirer, . P. S. The old cat would grudge you a cup of tea if you were lying on your deathbed. THE AMATEUR CEITIC. "When again the unknown correspondent condescends to criticism it is to be observed that he invariably assumes that the author lias written but one kind of book, and that the one before him. In the days when I used to read reviews, I noticed that this was a familiar trick of the professional critic; and a very handy trick, too, Jor it enables him toticket off the characteristics of an author in a mere sentence or two. Indeed, there was an article in a Iiondon morning Taper a few years ago in which the writer laboriously and ponderously tried to prove that the great defect of cotemporary fiction was the limited and monotonous wav in which each novelist dealt with only "one . small section of human life or human inter est; and ot course each author, no matter how diversified his work might hare been, had to be labelled off with one characteristic, until the writer in question came to Jlrs. Oliphant Mrs. Oliphant, with her brilliantly versatile genius and un ceasing novelty -of achievement, was altogether too much for him. The leaden- headed dullard had been lumbering along I ior a time, dui wnen ne came to Jlrs. Oliphant he had to double back, hesitate, apologize, and finally shuffle off. However, the unknown correspondent rarely deals with groups of writers; it is his own par ticular anthorVhom he has to encourage, or witn whom he has to gravely remonstrate; and, as I say, he invariably assumes that the book before him sums up all its writer's previous work, and future possibilities of work. Accordingly, this is the letter that comes on a Monday (let us say): Deaii Bib It has often occurred to me that I should write and tell you how much and how sincerely I enjoy your books, and yet how strangely disappointed they leave me in the end." Everything is there that can be desired of literary charm and style; the accessories are i perfect, the atmosphere dellRhtiul; but where, ' one is forced to ask, are the human beings, where the serious interests of life, where the elemental passions of mankind T From the window at which I sit I look abroad over a , . coble and stately river and up to the heights V. on frhieh was decided the crucial battle ol our As contrasted with the novelists cf the last generation. Of course It was the same sort of poor creature who. In the last generation, told Thackeray he could neither understand nor draw a ceuuemin.anu uaae uicKoni take away - bii Tawdrr wares." llljaygjii , .jiin'ii miji am ijiWiiiiiiiiiiftilMtftf-iTitr irp-.Tre i war (It was at that time I laid aside my own is word), and when I think ot the tre mendous issues then at stake, and when 1 think of the inuumcrable traeedies that wero Involved, and the suffering that was so heroically borne. In order that wo should secure freedom and unity for onrnatire land, I wonder (in coming to your books) that a writer who professes to depict modern exist ence should describe it as composed of banjo playing and flirtation. Is that what you see around you In the world, sirT nothing but yachting and grouse shooting, and deer stalk ing, love making, dinners, balls, theaters, and the idle diversions ot the leaders of fashion? The modern novelist seems to me to be little else than a court jester, a clown with cap and bells, content to fiddle and caper so long as society condescends to be amused! And then on the Tuesday (let ub say) comes another letter this time in a woman's handwriting: Why why are your books so invariably mournful and sadT "Why should griefs be torn open that time had partially healed, and onr hearts be lacerated by cruel memories? Is there not enough tragedy, and sorrow, and misery in the world, that when we go for con solation and peace and resttoafavoriteanthor, ne Should find not these not these, but some thin;; far aifferenl? Can the world be so somber as you depict it; nay, from the moral point of view, have you any right to describe so much unmerited suffering as existing? And then, again, surely literature should be a joyous thing. It ought to be one of the pleasures of life, not something to be dreaded and feared. Have you never heard children lanztvslr never seen them at play? Have you never looked at a field of buttercups or at sunshine after rain? However, I need say n more except this, that yonr writings have reawakened in me an ausuish and pain that I bad fancied were laid to rest; and that cow, along with the memory of my own real sorrows and trials. I must bear with me the memory of the tragic fate of and of lor which yon alone are responsible. SOME CORRESPONDENCE. The two letters do not seem to tally; but an author soon gets accustomed to such things, and also to the occasional little pseans of laudation which are perhaps more welcome, for human natnre is frail. Theu what a splendor of leisure belongs to the author as he appears to the imagina tion of the ingenuous reader! The book be fore him has been a companion in hours of ease: the writer seems to have been in no particular hurry; why should he not be con sulted? Dear Sib. I purpose taking my family to Europe this fall, and I should be ex tremely obliged if you could inform me what) the cost would be of hiring a four-in-hand coach to be driven from London to Aberdeen, and also if you would sketch out for me the most desirable route, giving the number of stoppages, time, etc, etc Dear Sir, You seem to think the hammer less gun a great Improvement; may I ask you to state your reasons for thinking so? Dear SIR, I am driven to appeat to yon in a very crave and serious emergency. My niece's husband a yonce man of singular ability and promise has suddenly deserted her, leaving no explanation behind him except a note saying that he had been summoned away by a secret society which he had unfortunately joined, and that he had to bid her good-by for ever. His heartbroken wife has thought of you as the only one likely to have any intimate knowledge of those dreadful soeiettes; and would you in form her how she should set about making in Suiries? Could you give her letters of Intro uction (in strict confidence), or names, to gnide her in her search ? Please, dear sir, give this your most earnest attention, for it is a mat ter 01 me ana aeatn; ana xwiii can on you on Thursday afternoon to hear what you have to say. Then (turning to another kind of corres pondent) you may have described in certain of your writings some neighborhood with which you have a long and intimate ac quaintance; and forthwith the impenitent tourist generally an American takes vonr book as a guide book, and rnshes breathless ly through that particular district, expect ing to have the most rare and beautiful effects in nature turned on for his delecta tion at 2 and at 7, as if they were luncheon and dinner; and, of course, these things, not having been ordered beforehand, do not appear, whereupon the outraged and indignant cheap-tripper sits down on his haunches and bawls. But the most persistent correspondent whom the writer of books has jo face is the autograph-hunting fiend, whose ways are dark and devious beyond description. The dodges to which he will resort in order to ac complish his diabolical purpose are as the sand on the seashore for multitude; and it is to be feared that many an honest letter is flung into the waste-paper basket on the mere hasty and exasperated snspicion that it hails from an autograph hunter. The most deadly stratagem in this direction I ever heard of was the invention of a friend of mine, who now confesses to it as one of the sins of his youth. He wrote a letter to each of the persons whose autograph he coveted, describing himself as a shipowner, and asking permission to be allowed to name his next vessel after the particulai celebrity he was addressing. It was a fatal trap. Nearly everyone fell into it . Even poor old Carlyle had no suspicion, and, in replying to the bogus ship owner, expressed the hope that the ves sel to be named after him might sail into a happier hayen than lie had ever reached. I remember when I was in America receiving a very pretty and charming letter from two sisters living in one of the Southern States. They described their beautiful home on the banks of the river; they were, they in formed me, living there quite alone, having neither friends nor relatives to occupy their time withal; and it had occurred to them that, as I was certain to form a per fectly false idea of American hospitality so long as I remained in the cold and cal lous North, wonld I not come down for a week or two to this sylvan retreat on the river, that they might show me what a real Southern welcome was like? It was a most innocent and idyllic invitation (to which, unfortunately, I was unable to re spond), and I was describing it a long time afterward to Mr. Bret Harte, when he inter rupted me. "Wait a bit," said he. "Didn't the letter go on something like this?" Alasl it was too true. He knew the rest. The idyllic invitation had been but an autograph hunting lure sent in similar terms to him and to me, and doubtless to a hundred oth ers. Bo perishes the romance of lifel DISCOVERING EELATITES. Nevertheless of all correspondents the most to be dreaded is he who, recognizing, or thinking that he recognizes, certain scenes or characters 'in a book, instantly jumps to the conclusion that the author must be a relative of his, and forthwith pro ceeds to claim him as such. In my own small experience, I have thus been dowered with so many unexpected sisters, cousins and aunts, that I can imagine what must happen in the case of an author far more prominently before the public. HowevSr, it cannot frequently occur that a writer should have a whole clan thrust upon him as his relations; and this little story being interesting as showing how easily and wide ly a delusion may spread, I propose to nar rate it now. Some considerable time ago I received a letter from Mrs. McV , in forming me that certain people and inci dents in a particular novel of mine were known only to herself and to a nephew of hers, who was thought to have been drowned nt sea some years before; and that, as I must necessarily be that nephew, it was incum bent on me to come forward and resume my own name and recognize my relatives, her self first of all. paid little heed; but as year atter year went by, I found from the repeated letters she sent me some of them quite plaintive in their appeals that this was no temporary hallucination, but a veritable be lief; and that the poor old -lady was deeply distressed by my undutiful conduct Then I set to work to try to undeceive her. I pointed lout that I should be glad to take the name of McV , if I had any right to it, seeing that that is a much more distin guished name than mv own, which, in cer tain district in the South of Scotland and.in the "Western Highlands, is as common as Smith is in England. I asked herj " iuuuvb j. couia nave tor con cealing my identity why I should refuse to recognize her as my aunt, if she were my aunt I had meanwhile made sure that there was no eleemosynary purpose in the old dame's piteous cry; on the contrary, she had promised that if I would only admit that I was Neil MaeV she would at once get for me some jewelry and other things left for me by my mother, who, it seems, was a native of Skye. "Well, argument was of no avail. Then I sent friends to assure her that she was mistaken; no use. I asked ber to write to a TJ. P. minister who had known me all my life (I thought she would have confidence in him. if in nnv- lbody short of an archantrelX hat J THE" she darkly hinted that it was easy to get friends- to connive when concealment was the object. So time passed; the reproachful remonstrances, the pious counsel, the hope that I would see the inhuman ingratitude of my ways ere it was too late for me to make atonement, were repeated in every let ter; and I conld not but admire the com posure of countenance on the part of the porter at the Club, for there was not a trace of consciousness on his face as he handed me those missives, each of which had alias Neil Mac V on the envelope. IDENTIFIED IX SPITE OP HIMSELF Then, as it chanced, I was in a small fish ing town in the "West Highlands; and word was brought me that Mrs. HacV and a niece of hers had come from Borne consider able distance in the lope that I would go and see them. I went at once for I thought this would prove decisive. I found at the postoffice, which was the place of rendez vous, a most respectable-looking, serious, calm and courteous old Highland woman, along with a very pretty and smart looking vouns lady (for the moment I deeply regretted I was not Neil MaoV , there being certain small cousinly greetings that one might fairly and naturally have claimed under the circumstances), and I forthwith assumed that now, at least, they would see I was not the relative they had lost. But I was mistaken. The old lady asked me to show her the forefinger of my right hand. I did so. "Ah," said she, "the mark is not there now; but marks like that often get worn off." Then I turned to the pretty young lady with confidence: I was sure she could, not share in this delusion. "Why," I said, "if your cousin had not been drowned at sea if he were alive he wonld, according to your own story, be about eight and twenty years of age. Now don't you see that I am rather over eight and twenty? Don't yon see that my hair is turning gray?" Her answer appalled me. "Oh," said she, quite sharply, "that's nothing; I have known a young man of two and twenty whose hair was quite white." After that, what was to be done? I began to feel something of the convicted impostor; I wondered whether I was not, after all, NeiljMacV . Here were two apparently quite sane persons who plainly intimated to me that I was not myself; and what was my solitary consciousness against their com bined evidence? I began to think I must have survived that shipwreck. Perhaps my mother was really a native of Skye, and had left her little belongings there, in the fond hope that some day I- might turn up and claim them? "When I left the Tarbert post office I went straight to Colin Hunter, and asked him what my name actually and cer tainly was; but he was busy with his sea painting, and flatly refused to go and have any argument with my forsaken aunt and cousin. That was not the end: for subsequently tue wnoie cian.iuac v appeared to have taken the matter up, and from time to time there came a letter filled with bitter reproaches, and also with dark threats of exposure. But that is not the tone in which the old lady herself now writes, when she writes at all. She has grown resigned; ap parently she has given up all hope that her ungrateful nephew will come to comfort her declining years. She is no longer indig nant; she is wistful and pathetic She hopes God will pardon my impenitent sonl. And! hope so too. William Black, HE WAS ALWAYS COURTEOUS. An Old Soldier Telia a New Story of Presi dent Lincoln. Detroit Bnndsy News. A certain solder who bears the mark of a rebel bullet in his face is looking for a place in the postoffice under the new regime. He wants to be a stamp clerk. To-day a friend of his remarked: "You are not handsome enough to be a stamp clerk. A nice little dude will probably get it" "Well,'rreplied the soldier, "Old Abe wasn't handsome, but he got there, just the same. And he was one of those chaps that could be courteous to high and low. Early in '61 1 went over to the Capitol to Bee Eep rescntative Porter, who was trying to get a bill through letting old soldiers' letters go fret in the mails. I wanted to get a pack age of envelopes franked. I ran against a man on the Capitol steps and asked him if hi knew where Mr. Porter's office was, and he said he didn't, but thought he could hunt it out for me. He turned back and stuck his head into every door until we struck the right place, and he left, saying: 'Porter is in there. I saw him through the chinks.' Four or five clerks rushed up and wanted to know what I wanted, and one of them said: 'Do you know who was with you?" I answered that I didn't, and he said: '"Why, it was Mr. Lincoln, the Pres ident' " ' A DREAM OP FARO PLA11KG. The Sleeper Heard Kumbera Called and Thought fln Was In a Game. Chlcsjro Herald.: "I had a very peculiar dream last night," said a gentleman to a friend whom he was chatting with at lunch last Saturday. "For a time," he said, "I could not explain it, but my wife helped me out this morning. "When I arose she remarked that I bad not slept well, and I told her I supposed it was because ot a dream I had had during the night I said that I had been in a keno game in my dream and couldn't imagine the cause of it because I had not played the fas cinating game for years. Tes,' she said, 'I head yon yell 'KenoP as you rolled over, and you kept mumbling over numbers for ten minutes.' "I was surprised, but she told me why I had acted so strangely. There was a big wedding near us the night before, and along abont midnight a man with a pair of brass Inngs had gone out on the curbstone and be gan to call carriage numbers in a hotrse voice. In a drowsy way I heard this calling and thought I web in a keno game. I re member distinctly that I hauled in a pot with $32 in it, but just as the man was pre paring to pay me I awoke and lost it I tell yon, dreams are queer things." i It flat Always Been So, Detroit Tree Press, l The Chinese have a tradition that over 12,000 years ago there was a law in that Em pire aimed at the fellow who wanted to bor row a 6 until Saturday, you know, but who never remembers when Saturday night came around. Under that law they lost their heads, bnt in these days no law can touch them. Professional Age. Boston Times."! First Critic Yon are in error when you say Mme. Sylphide is 17 years old. The woman is 47, if she's a dayl Second Critio Haven't you found out yet that there are professional ages as well as stage names. Under a Ban. Clarence I was never so insulted in me life. That old pawty came along and hung his coat right oil me nose. Wilber Why don't you thrash him ? Clarence Cawn't, dear boy; he's me tailor, and I have to let him do these little things if he don't dun me. Judge. ftflF W I iff w n(wttt,lffjjf i.Iil -1 PITTSBUKCT DISPTCHST SCENES IN NEW YOKE. Clara Belle Describes Some Interest ing Everyday Episodes THE CRAZE FOE GREEN CANDY. Sedate lovers Sparking in a Leafy Nook in the Park. KEYRING IN A PLETHORA OF TOWELS ICOSBXSFOKDXHCZ 01- THX SISFATCH.l New York, October 26. UfiT together two persons by chance entered the portal of a very stylish res taurant establish ment One was a seasoned old club man, with the cap of an amateur yachts man on his head and a cigar in his mouth. He passed through the hallway into the bar room department He went to get a lone, solitary drink, I supposed. The other was an exquisitely dressed young giri. She took the table across from me in the ladies' part of the premises and said a few words to the waiter, who went out and returned with a whisky cocktail. The girl tossed it off, laid down the money with 10 cents extra for the man, gathered up her tiny parcels and con tinued her walk up town. She did it all in a perfectly easy manner, and utterly in. different to my shocked look. Now, really, why was it worse in the girl than in the man to drink whisky? It is very amusine to observe the rjeonle as they come in and try to get tables Sy the avenue windows. Of course, these are the pleasantest seats, as one can enjoy watching the stylish men and women who go saunter ing by, as well as be seen by them, which is a source of everlasting delight and gratifica tion. Frequently when every table in the windows is occupied, and the middle ones are empty, a girl will call the head waiter and anxiously converse with him in an undertone. He glances around at the differ ent places, finds out how nearly finished some of the eaters are and promises to re serve the first vacant table. Leaving a gen erous lee with him. she goes off contentedly, returning after awhile to tne coveted table. It is surprising the number who do this thing. They willingly seat themselves in the hallway and patiently wait for an hour for a table where they may be seen by their passing friends. FASHIONS IN CANDY, All society is clamoring for green bon bons. For a time it was violets. Then came preserve!! rose leaves, crystallized cherries and bits ot damsons in glace form. Now the selection is as green as a spring landscape, and the creams, places and fruit drops match the gloves 01 the serpentine gin iuai oraers tnem. u.nese green sweets are composed largely of California grapes and pistache creams. There are pistache balls, cubes and squares in which fruits, nuts and marrons are smothered. There are the blocks of pink and white nuget riddled with pistache nuts, and the green grape like the charm of beauty is more than halt concealed, scarcely half revealed, by the muffling of spun sugar or whipped cream. Then there are lime drops and lime balls, creams and scrolls of English mint, and buried in sugar crystals and cream dates you can get a drop of maraschino that win mase your womanly knees very yield ing. Oyer the whole candied leaves of bitter sweet and lemon verbena are sprinkled, and with the gilded tongs comes a bill of ?1 60 for the very smallest box that ever measured 16 ounces. The sugar plums for the bonbonnieres of silver and ormolo are of the same exquisite shades. Hundreds of women go to our most fash ionable restaurant every week in the year for the sole privilege of prinking and pow dering preparatory to a cup of bouillon and a subsequent call or matinee. The toilet cabinet where thenewrioh and the rest of them meet is a small sumptuously furnished room with a couch of tufted velvet, a wall mirror that reaches from the floor to the ceiling, a long stationary taole with a quartet of marble basins, and a French dressing table as PERFECTLY EQUIPPED as though it were a private affair. There are scent bottles, filled to the stopper with perfume; ivory bound brushes, cnnhi nnri whisks; a cushion as big as a pillow filled with pins enough to Bkewer the bonnets of a national convention of women, fasten their bouquets and putin theirmouths for all sorts of connections; manienre instruments and cosmetics; face powder for the blonde, bru nette and middle type; almond meal and cold cream for chaps; rouge for the restora tion of vanishing cheeks and lips; Egyptian black for strengthening brows and lashes and a perfect stock of hairpins for blonde hair, black hair, brown hair and copper-hoed tresses. On the washstand the visitor is sure to find the most delicate soaps the market affords glycerine for the hardy and benzoiu for those who have a more sensitive skin. And the towels, saints ot the laundry, what towels! Not five nor a dozen, but stacks along the baseboard as high as the mahog any wainscotting, and the use to which they are put by the butterflies of fashion would make a prim housekeeper gasp. One girl wipes her shoes with three, throwing them in a corner and helping herself to a fourth to dry her hands and a filth to rub down her face. Another takes her hair down, pins one towel about her neck to protect her dress, and with another wipes away the dust from the roots. The next has mud on the bottom of her dress, and if it cannot be removed with three towels, then four, five or six linen napkins are levied upon. I have seen these damask towels used for powder lags, rouge brushes, manicure polishers, and soused with per fumery to rub out spots from the fronts of a dress. I have seen them bunched, folded and pinned in dresses for a bustle, and time and again I have watched a negligent chaperone fill a towel with crashed ice and press it on the brow of the semi-insensible girl stretched-at fnll length on the couch. Now and then it does happen that a heady wine will send a lady from the dining room, and the Argns-eyed master who attends to everything gets a restorative to the cabinet as soon as tne victim. Aside from the dresses, flowers and man nerisms of the elegant women who rendez vous at this cafe about midday, a looker on can always get a point or two for personal instruction. For instance you will rarely Bee a real swell put water on her face. The woman from out of town scrubs a gloss on her nose and cheeks, which she atterward smothers with pink or pearl powder, but the belle' from np town, across town or the suburbs declares her cosmopolitanism at once by the careful, cautious way that she brushes the dust from her face, rubs it down wnn gentie, caressing toucnes of tne towel, and lastly lays on and works in the powder. When finished she is not only in better, prettier face than her country cousin, but cleaner. Then there is the girl who, instead of putting perfume on her handkerchief, rubs it in the palms of her hands and pours it over her coiffure; and still another belle who tips the scent bottle over her mouth and wets her lips with the Bweet stuff. PERFECTLY SAXVRAL. "What queer things there are in life to be sure. If yon keep a lookout for them I don't think yon are apt to come across many for the same reason that a watched pot never boils, perhaps but, to employ that terse and paradoxical expression which Tacitus made popular, if you don't yon do. I was out for a five-mile walk in the park the other day not one day in the series which wrnt to make np the recent Indian kummer Mid T miss that exhilarating and fascinatiny observance when I saw some thing thaUseemed to me very queer. Per haps it wasynot in the least queer in reality. 1 cannot but aVniit that it was in truth quite I !W.-'i ,.'""-L A . ,.- . V.. . . , , - " SUNDAY,' "OCTOBER" in the natural and expected order of things throughout; and yet it astonished me, and anyway it was absorbingly interesting, be cause it was concerned with kissing, and the kissing was done surreptitiously in a leafy nook in a pnblic pleasure ground. The principals were a young minister and a per fectly well-poised young woman with the stamp of Smith College upon her, and with spectacles. Now, as I say, I don't know that there was anything in the least surprising about it, and yet it did surprise me. I had been walking up the east side, keeping to the small paths and watching the squirrels and the robins, and my blood was stirring and mv heart blythe. I thought that when I got to the restaurant of Mt St Vincent I wonld have some breakfast, for I always take the air before I eat, and it was only 11 o'clock in the morning. I had got up be yond the upper reservoir the one which is distinguished by having water in it and beyond the lovely meadows where the gorgeous lawn tennis players straddle about so divinely, and where they want to put up some exposition buildings for a world's show of 1892, 1 believe. I was on my way up a gentle slope at the beginning of the wooded tangle which overruns the north west area, when I came npon the pair. They were sitting on a bench together, look ing vacantly down the path at me, attitude, expression and all suggesting nothing in the world but a grave, decorous, restful enjoy ment of external nature, a mild, placid, holy thankfulness for the balmy air, the sunshine, the leafy rustle and the singing of the birds. LOVE IS XBB PARK. She was a stout young woman, SO I should think, smooth and fair. Her spectacles were gold-bowed, and the lenses shone with the polish Insisted upon by women who" really care for their spectacles. He was about her age, brown bearded, demure, with a straight waistcoat, a choker and respect able eyeglasses. I thought vaguely that they were brother and sister, or a married pair of seven years' standing. That was all, as long as they had me in sight But jnst beyond them the path made a sudden turn and ascended sharply. It took my breath somewhat to mount the little activity, and when I trot to the top I stooned a moment for a fresh supply. I was on the snmmit of a bluff, around which the path had wonnd. It was a place of advantageons view, and I stood for some little time taking it in. The couple I had passed had gone completely ont of my mind. lam sure that I should never have thought of them again but for one of those curious little coincidences of which the world, is fnll. As I stood looking and filfing my lungs a pretty red oak leaf went dancing across the path under the gentle urgency of the wind. My eyes followed it idly as it traveled until it stopped at the base of a snowball bush just at the edge of the bluff. It occurred to me that it was worth preserving, and I left the patn and went over andf icked it up. As I did so I became conscious again of the clergyman and his spectacled companion. They were still sitting on the beach, which was backed up against the base of the bluff just below me, and in my fnll, unhindered view. And to my surprise bo much, to my surprise that the red oak leaf escaped from my fingers and fluttered off and down upon the woman's plain brown straw bonnet they were hugging and kissing with as much zest and animation as you might look for in a codless younrr couple from the Bowery. THE GOOD THINGS OE LITE. Natural quite natuaal, of course; and yet I am somehow stirred and interested whenever I think of it Her hair lay so smooth over a forehead which was so smooth I know she is a proficient in Greek and mathematics; and he may be a delegate to the Episcopal synod, or convention, or what ever they call it, which is now in session in the annex ot St George's Church. The members of the Episcopal conven tion, by the way, are not in the least anchor itish in a number of their ways. I was in a Third avenue oyster house at lunch time, and a dozen or more of the ministers were in there engaged on the same errand of the stomach that I was engaged on. But my repast was a meager thing indeed compared with many of theirs. Two fine old gentle men who sat next to me ate fried scollops and fried oysters and deep-dish eastside pie, and topped it off with three enps of coffee each, and cigars. Superb digestions! It made me at once envious and amiable to observe them. I am bound to say that not one who lunched there drank wine or ale, but most of them smoked great black, fat, powerful looking cigars. I see them con stantly smoking in the streets, even when they are walking with their wives and daughters. It seems an amiable fashion, and perhaps an unobjectionable one, if their nerves can stand it, and the nerves of the ministers are apparently very good. ViHAJUk JJULiUE. MAKING A BOOK IN JAPAN. The Anthor Paints Instead of Writing-, Using Brash and Ink. American Bookmaker.i Having resolved to "paint" a book, for, as all the world knows, the Japanese use a brush and not a pen, the author betakes him to his workroom. It is a little room, a very little room. "Six mats" is its Japanese measurement, and a mat is about 6 feet by 4. It is full of the soft, dull light which pulses from a square white paper lantern; the low, bright wooden ceiling gives back a pale brown gleam here and there. There is a silvery glint in the frail paneled walls, and in a warm gray shadowed recess a gold Buddha crosses his feet and stretches forth his palms, smiling gently upon the lotus which he holds. In another reoess stand the curious vessels of iron and clay and bamboo for the tea ceremony. The author sits on the floor in a flowing garment of brown silk lined witb-blue, his legs disposed comfortabljr under him. In iront of him stands a lacquered table, about a foot, and upon it his writing materials, which are as idyllic as his surroundings his paperis delicately tinted yellow, with blue lines running up and down. His inkstand is a carved ebony slab, with one end hol lowed out for water to rub his cube of india ink in, nd holds the four or five daintily decorated bamboo brushes which are his pens. Naturally he does not write his novel, he -paints it. Beginning at the end of the whole, at the lelt- o! every page and at the top of every line, straight down between the two oiue parallels nis small brown hand goes, with quick, delicate, dark touches. Althongh this novelist's "copy" might seem to a stranger to be daintiness itself, yet he always has it duplicated "by an artist" before sending it to the publishers, the success of the book depending so largely upon its artistic forthbringing. The "artist" to whom the "oodv" is nnw in. trusted proceeds to repaint the long series of wora pictures witn a professional dexterity which is something astonishing. An Underground Mjstery. ...ife iSEg Uncle Si Low (watching piledrivers at work on a "West street foundation) "Waal, 1 swowl I've heard about your buryln' the wires, bnt this do beat alL Idler What's-this got to do with it? TJncle Si "Why, when you git them tele- gmpu tiuica uruv into tne grounu, now uo the men git down to string the wires? . I tiuage. 'jfl .-tL ' tMPff J HMWHI- jT.tb: A. ' j . sa Pr-1-' K-41 tr OootT nil -t nA7rOk - LJQKl w -4 " Hferlvll W- 27r 1889. A WO0D0HPCK HUNT. Driving Through the Beautiful Scen ery of Washington County to THE HAUNTS OF THE WILY RODENT Sad Fate of the Contemplative Observer, of Natnre. A ROIAL FEAST, FIT FOB THE GODS. rWBITTXX 70S Tint DISPATCH.! "Mark," said Bailey carelessly, "do-you want to take a drive?" Mark 'did. "Then put the little rifle together. The cart will be here in a minule." Mark audibly wondered wha't the dickens a rifle had to do with an afternoon drive, but as the other was just then waging a losing battle with a very bad pipe, he de clined an explanation as trivia, and Mark, accepting the silence as an indication that on this occasion it had something to do with it, carefully put lock and stock and barrel together and accompanied the pretty silver-mounted affair to the dogcart This afternoon it certainly was a dog cart in every sense, for Bhot, calm in his in variable position as the oldest dog in the pack, had settled his haunches on the driver's seat, while Shell and "Wad swirled gracefully around the pretty turnout, and Toots, the water spaniel, barked frantically as he hustled his fat little legs to keep up with the graceful pair, though they landed him a very bad third, indeed. The silence of some friends is golden as. wuiparcu mj uc vapiu utterances 01 loose wnose mistaren idea of entertainment con sists in making noises with their mouths, so probably the first half hour of that lovely drive was made in absolute stillness, broken only by thesteady pounding of Billy's hoofs, of the plaintive wail Toots set up now and then when the other dogs left him too far behind. Mark asked no explanation of the rifle snugly lying between his knees, as ex perience had taught him such a drive would be well worth taking, while Bailey offered none, as he knew the other was content Arrived at the top of the high hiil jnst outside of town, Billy was given a breath ing spell, while the two friends looked about them at a scene "Washington county offers but once a year. The afternoon sun was settling just low enough in the "West that its rays were tem pered into golden beams that touched with ounninghand the glorious fall dress of maple, hlokory and chestnut, then showered its yellow upon fields and fields of corn and grain, and theu finally laid bare the road creeping in and out like a hnge golden ser pent that bnried its fanes in a cushion of -purple haze and bine sky ten miles to the soutn 01 tms garaen or .Eden. SJICOTimS VS. KATUEE. "Smoke? queried Charley, and the spell was broken; sweet nature was forgotten, and Maik wonld be darned if he'd smoke a pipe that fairly outraged the atmosphere as Bailey's did. He was -oaeified. however. with a cigar, and the two lrlends again sunk into silence, and Billy started down the long hill at a pace that forced the two pointers to lengthen their graceful bounds while poor broken-hearted Toots was left away behind, overcome by such a cloud of dust and mortification that he couldn't even howl. And so the drive went on all that after noon, Bailey handling the horse in a sort of aimless way, down this road and up that, and on two occasions actually traversing the same route. The sun had touched the horizon at last, and beamed a mel low good night from its kindly face,, then sank, and a faint idea of the significance of that rifle began to dawn upon Mark as a gray twilleht settled over the scene. The woodchuck is a rodent, and probably as cunning as any animal living; as tenacious of life as a mule, and as ugly a fighter as a bull dog. Charley Bailey was ont after a woodchuck, and had been driving with the certainty of death that landed him at an objective point at ten minutes after the sun had set, when he knew that cuts animal would be before the door of his domicile taking a survey of the woild be fore starting on a foraging expedition that would last until daylight The tired dogs were called in, and trotted contentedly be hind the cart, while the rifle was unstrapped and a long 22 inserted fn the well-oiled breech. "Don't stop," said Charley, "until you get behind that bunch of trees. Take the dogs with you," and he quietly slid over tne dbck ot tne cart to tne consternation of Toots, who was trotting along with his eyes shut and his month open. A low command to the dogs sent them disgustedly after Mark and the cart that rattled gaily on, conveying to the alert sense of any wood chuck in hearing the idea that it still con tained two. Arrived at the point desig nated, a quarter of a mile awa)-, the cart was stopped, Mark stood up in order to get a better viev of the scene, while the well trained dogs looked longingly back, but knew better than to take a step in that di rection. In some way Charley had got through the fence, instead of climSing it, and he was now circling down toward the creek in order that a little knoll might come between him and a Btump and a bunch of reddish brown. Papa Chuck, sitting bolt upright before his burrow. ' THE DEATH SHOT. The circuit was made and the hunter turned to advance rapidly over the velvet, grassy enshion toward the wary game. Still behind the knoll he moves slower now, and now doubles up like a jack-knife as he cau tiously crawls to the very edge and can go no farther unless in plain sight of the chnck sitting there, but fully 100 yards away. To go farther was impossible, as the slighest sound or sight would have sent the wiliest animal in the world deep into his hoU. To shoot from there would be ridiculous, as the light was uncertain, and besides, the animal must be hit in the head, as they will drag a body actually torn to pieces into the ground, to die perhaps the very moment. Still Bailey was evidently going to try h shot. Actually rolled up like a piece of parch ment, he stood there so long Mark's strained eyes sought the horse's ears for rest When he looked again Bailey's form seemed to have grown taller, but a second glance showed no motion. Mark looked down, and looked again, and this time there was no mistake; Bailey was unwinding himself, and by degrees so imperceptible Mark's back lairly ached with sympathy. It must have taken fully ten minutss before the hunter stood bolt upright, a motionless stump in the gathering shadows, and Mark's wonder as to how the man was going to get the rifle to his shoulder without perceptible motion was answered by a gleam of steely blue pointing from his shoulder and eye straight at unsuspicious chuck, still en gaged in philosophic contemplation of a world soon done with him. Bailey had the gun to his shoulder all the while, and the strain must have been terrible. A whip-like crack relieved all hands, and the days of chuck's usefulness as weather prophet were overshot plnmb through the right ear, and down and out the left shoul der. He doesn't know to this day what happened that-lovely October evening. The dogs could oe restrained no longer, and all flew over the fence with the exception of Toots, who like the clown in a circus, ignominionsiy crawled through the rails, and scampered toward his master, away behind as usual. Probably no chef in the world would un dertake to prepare the despised woodchuck for the table, slighted as he is by the game laws and ignored by the hunter. Another surprise was afforded Mark that night, how ever, when he with s couple of friends, was invited to attend a feast of roasted woodchuck, Saratoga chips and a dozen bottles of Burton's best "Wiggins had been steamed for three hoars, then staffed with herb drewinir. and roasted for few hours. jtfeea plaeed inthe oetitetGi the table, tte i3fc, H - ' richest and best flavored meat ever eaten by a party of hunters, who relished nothing oetter man to near againtne story 01 nis untimely end. Gaitiikb. ONE 17IF QUITE ENODGH Opinion of a Toang- Mormon on the Saiject of Polygamy. Correspondence of Globe-Democrat. On a train between Ogden and Salt Lake City the other night, during conference week, a drummer for a San Francisco dry goods house opened fire on the Mormon ques tion. "I have been among those people 14 years," said he, "and I know them like a book. I have traveled throngh their towns, hundreds of miles from the railroad. I have lain down in their houses with thousands of dollars about me and felt perfectly secure. I have never been molested and have re ceived only the most courteous treatment. But I tell you polygamy is a curse. Better people than the Mormons I don't want to deal with. "When I came among them I could hardly sell them a bill of goods. Now there is nothing in the drygoods line which is too good for Mormon ladies. But X tell you, gentlemen, this thing of more than one wife works badly. It isn't in the nature ot man to think the same of two women. He will care more for one than the other, and there will be unhappiness in the family. That is what I have learned." An old gray-haired man leaned forward and began to argue. "My friend," asked the drummer, "how many wives have you got?" "One," said the old man. "Then," said the drummer, "there isn't a bit of use for you. and me discussing this question. Theory isn't practice by a long snot. The train stopped and the old man got out A smooth cheeked boy had been lean ing forward and listening- intently to the drummer's discourse. He was perhaps 20 years old. "What do you think about it?" he was asked. "Are most Of the vonnp Mormon men and women looking forward to polyg amy?" His reply came hesitatingly and seri ously. "Those who have fathers and 'mothers who are not in polygamy don't think very mnch about it, I guess,'' he said. "But, I know how it is with most of us who belong in polygamous families. "We don't want any more or it, Iknow, that for hjyself. I dou't intend. to have but one wife." HIS TBONK WENT ASTEAT. WbrBepresentatlTe Parians Bad to Bor row tfaq Clerk' Night-Shirt. Washington Post.1 The dictionary never gives entirely sails factory and complete definitions. Now as to what constitutes a statesman, for instance; it is entirely inadequate, and dismisses the subject in a half dozen lines. Out in Mon tana, if & man should come into a hotel, or what passes for a hotel in the sage brush country, and say that he had lost nis trunk and would ask the landlord to loan him a night-shirt, the landlord would answer, "Why, certainly, Bishop, or Judge, or Sen ator," as the case might be. Then the land lord would rake the town, with a fine-tooth comb, but what the eminent travelers should be accommodated. Bo there is no reason why the Montana rule should not apply In "Washington, at least until Congress shall have assembled ana revised tne rnles. Ex-Congressman E, C. Parsons, of Cleveland, registered at the Arlington last night He is a very distinguished-looking gentleman and, as the Scotch wonld say, "he iss a distinguished gentleman." His trunk had gone astray, and, perforce, he mad.o a loan of a night shirt from the night-clerk. As the night clerk will not need his night-shirt while on duty, it must be aocarent to an-mrm ihst the night-shirt can appear in the role of Box I And Ca withont fnn)nvnl.nii tn fl.a ,. J of the first part or to the party of the second part Since the night-clerk entered immediately and cheerfully into a contract to furnish Mr. Parsons with a night-shirt, ft stands to reason that so eminent an authority as the author of "Parsons on Contracts" was enabled to pass a peaceful sight, elothed and in his proper mind. And since ex Senator Tabor, of Colorado, determined a new- classification and rating of statesman ship from the basis of a 1300 embroidered night-shirt, it follows that Mr. Parsons is no leas eminent as a statesman than aa a lawyer. SUCCESS IN LITERATURE. Books Which Have Come Into.Ylroreis Being- Almost by Chance. There have been eases in which literary renown has been won unawares. In affirming this, such instances as those of Mrs. Harriet Beecher Stowe's "Uncle Tom's Cabin," Mr. Black's "Daughter of Heth," and Mr. Elder Haggard's "King Solomon's Mines," examples of astonishing success achieved at a stroke, are notin mind.seys the Quiver, but Sir "Walter Scott kept "Waver ley" by him in manuscript for nine years, fearing that by its publication it might put in peru me reputation wnica was al ready his in virtue of his poems. It is most unlikely that Master Samuel Pepys dreamed the immortality his "Diary" was to give him. Miss Ferrier.tha writer of the striking stories, "The Inheri tance and "Destiny," has herself stated that her first work was "begun at the urgent desire of a friend, and with a promise of assistance, which, however, failed long be fore the end ot the first volume. -Tne work was thrown aside, and resumed some years alter. It afforded occupation and amuse ment for idle and solitary hoars, and was published in the belief that the author's name wonld never" be guessed at.or the work heard ot beyond a very limited sphere." As a final and recent instance, ProC Henry urummona and his widely circulated "Natural Law in the Spiritual "World" may be quoted. The professor has told his readers that that fascinating book "was never for mally written. It came into being almost by chance." V Ho Danger for Overcrowding. MewYorkSnn.1 "Dr. Channcey M. Depew is not at all afraid that this country will be overcrowded through the rush of immigration. He says' that .the area of rable acres is the United States is 20 per cent larger than that of China, which supports a popT-latkw of nearly 400,000,000. Kaklag HlasMlf Ksowm. Cashier You'll have ia be Identified. Embryo Financier How? Cashier I say.yba will have to be idea tlfied before loan cask that eheek. Financier iToa know Benjamin Har- riBGH, aonjtyoB c Cashier I've heard of him. naasejer Well, be skeek feosoV vMs. ,Bsewkea;his train west tkKtekWsiL v He, ! week. ( W ' rfafiE '.,,,.S&.sS,'''' . ... &? j& r&kteZmmi&eS' "' '.2sr IliLiLiLiiLP iBpgBjgBgBgBBpjgBgBBgaararaugpHL Bf SMS OF THElMESi Another Era of Great 'Prosperity! Striking the Conitry' A BOOM IN THE BUILDING TIADEi Flan of aa Imoaical aM AtWtrgU Aesiueuce. SOME OP THE SPECIAL IEATDSW twrma rortrax oiwj.tch.1 The signs of the times up-iueatloaably I dicate that the fortunate people of this country are about to enjoy another era, of great prosperity. Baanteons crops (never , so bounteous as those of this year) aad'aa ? unlimited demand for them at good prieesj' by reason of partial failure of crops aWeid. ''' form a combination of circa BMiaaew tkt ' never falls to elevate the hora of nlentv. The last era of rood times 1879-86 nu inaugurated by the seme causes, aWed'byfi the resumntfnn nt cnaIa Mvtuit w!?aL u.J sured solid values for everytbiBg. Tfcera same conditions prevail to-day. V Pertptelive Viae. Jemit yj f "'Vfr"Sii i? - ... . Dnring prosperous times, aad tipeofaWy .- at the commencement of prosperei Uaioaf-" before the prices for material aadla &--'" come inflated, the building-of fceww .- moderate cost will certainly prove- to fee , J profitable ventures. "When aa AaHrieaai't ?? . raakesjmoney he is pretty sure to provide aaf " aitraciyre ana comiortaDie boa for Ms family. The design illustrating tbk ariMeJ is suDmittea tor ms contideratKm. BSIST DBSCBIPTIOX OT THBrDBBISW.I Size of structure: Front iaelaeXaef-rax anda, 30 feet; depth, 48 feet S iaefees. h j Height of stories: Cellar, 7 feet; ints4ety 9 feet 6 inches; second story, 9 feet; attfe ' story, 8 feet Ajr Materials for exterior walls: FonBdaKonir, stone or brick; first story, dapberds;see ond story, shingles; gables, deuars?aaeT roof, shingles. . J- Interior finish: Hard whitipafltsifrwkife pine trim, cherry staircase, plaster oaraieea ana centers in nan, parlor aad dfaw i Exterior colors: Bedy of iwt iter-s,' raiBgies arouna versa, saiigur story aad shingles ost gables, mijHsii mb; root sningiet, - r; an saeh as window aad door as courses, bracket, vereada setts awl and lattice, light green; etttastfsjv sk sashes, dark red; eWs, aatorsl mmntU wuou, wna iisru oil bum; BUMS, SMC buff; veranda floor as4 eeilfW. otteeLIPK exterior palntiafr there sfeooM be oe prta-! lag and two fiEisiiwt goats. To get tke beat results me seeeea MMtuog tmtrtsaldit ne appnea until at wast eif ht SMti elapsed after pettixt; oa tke first Accommodations: Tke priagfarf and their sties, erMeta, etc., a itnum;i-r the plans give herewith. IaiiililMiiii bii IsaceiiaTUQ4rttwaI boM a-aai nnisnea rowuuMatti,wltBsyaJk-sfiN rooms in tke ati. As tne sssead.atjt pian prorates Bern moses reoem HtMzJs VirtlyiMttired, it WMMMJhsfijF Mate Be oasmesu zm aeer saaee t quired say beoWd wMuhe i reess, thus providUMr, saetesr whtek would be 8 feet jmsmM Jwtiar Special fMtwret: 3V i JrasWajfgrt ures The wladews, tke domsrs,'eVTe. randa and veraed poaia of tMa 'strterier may be said to beC4eiaL BMagUagAo seeead story aad tke gaWes, e toeosae quite pojwkr, ma Mjsied turn- Cefeaial style. - XMpelneMabayt f the Jtrieg and the beeSoom above stake the two reojrt , referred to Musallyattraetlv. BsrtifeereH lek efak ui Hfkt fcrasrjr rMH vw: .ia Kteoimes wftere wives re? j and Mteritk am aet the aaase aaJ h ijrm' "! -poV iff j ' is:oxi7.tb" r-Li m 'VsHplK' SJSPP'r13 mUmt'Jfi- m ssffcit, r ! j-43 I3&i If Jmj ' T is3BIJsV fsssnT gkBgHH thjgfcfasBBpVJsMsB ftWl - - - 9M A avLiLH NMTJgH , . .jigttfH tWaSm - - Ha gift v'tgVlgffgfSi ' wV ! Xv SHV n9 lftSBBBBBBBfl WslislUssylT-t 'StfigH ft lisilil Jjsisji iisml ilmllniiTrtrwjM tlMxihrgfftr with a railway. sH mc AjtoiawTiiiialV. BesiaK, SH 1 i"sgHSMkarfskk. iaAm tmissSrJMSaigigigigiH CV. - -'tgg-nranrT-. g. a im, ia.?3Fj ISSf1 nKr- .Ta-flii;