Ftf" 'S ?" i iBtefiSV THE PITTSBUBG-y- DISPATCH, MONDATr 'SEPTEMBER'S r ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8, 184& Y0L44, No.23. Entered at Pittsburg 1'ostoffice. November It, 1SS7, as second-class matter. Business Offlce97 and 90 Fifth Avenue. News Booms and Publishing House 75, 77 and 79 Diamond Street. Eastern Advertising Office, Room 4S, Tribune Building; cwYort Average net circulation or the dally edition of Tim 1I6iu.tcii for six months ending August 31. 1SS8, as sworn to before City Controller, 30,045 Copies per Issue. Average set circulation or the Sunday edition of Tus Dispatch for three months ending Angust si, issa. 55,643 Copies per Issno. teiuis or THE DISPATCH. rosTAGz rnEE is the rxixzD states. Daily Dispatch, One Year t 8 00 Dailt Dispatch, Per Quarter 2 00 Dailt Dispatch, One Month 70 I-'AiLY DI6PATCU, including Sunday, 1 year. 10 00 DAILY DlSPATCH,lncludlng SundaT.Sm'ths. I SO DAILY DisrATCH, Including bunday, 1 mouth 90 bu.SDAYDlsPATt.il, One 1 ear ISO lekxy Dispatch, One Tear 1S3 The Daily Dispatch Is delivered by carrlersat IScentsperwcek, or Including bunday edition, at SP cents per week. . PITTSBURG, MONDAY, SEP. 23, 1S83. THE FBEKCH ELECTI0KS. The first returns from the French elections of yesterday look as if Boulanger might be restored to a leading position in French politics. The number of districts, however, in which the result is finally ascertained is so few -that, even more than in an election in our own country, it is necessary, for a cor rect conclusion, to await the final returns. The election ot Boulauger himself from the Montmartre district has much the same significance as the election of a leading Democratic Congressman from Kentucky, or of Hon. "W. D. Keller from Philadelphia. It was Boulanger's stronghold; and in the other Parisian districts a considerable strength for the Boulangist candidates was to be expected. The Tote shown for him in Paris is not surprising, nor does it give him any decisive victory. It will depend on the other parts of France to show whether the fugitive hero will be restored to his pedestal. The indications, from the large number of districts in which second ballots are nec essary, is that while Boulanger is not by any means sweeping everything before him, he is not so entirely squelched as was ex pected by his opponents. If neither party wins a decisive ictory, the possibility that the contest may be indefinitely extended, affords the rest of the world a promise of prolonged amusement in studying the eccentricities of French politics. One point deserves to be set down to the creditof the French people. The elections passed otfquietly and with good order. That would be nothing unusual for this country; bnt it shows decided progress by the French in the art of self-government NEW Y0BK SYLLOGISMS. The wrestle into which New York has been pluunged by the report of its Commit tee on Site, that a portion of Central Park will be needed for the "World's Fair, is unique. The residents along the park are horrified that their darling pleasure ground should be desecrated by an Exposition, and appeal earnestly to the State law forbidding the use ot that ground for such purposes. The dispute reduces the "World's Fair busi ness in New York to very nearly the follow ingsylIogism:The fair cannot be held in New York without using Central Park; Central Park cannot be used for the "World's Fair; therefore, the "World's Fair cannot be held in New York. The conclusion agrees ex actly with that drawn from a similar syllo gism touching the impossibility of holding a World's Fair without money and also the inability to raise money for it in New York. B0UBBOKISM IK GE0SGIA. A rather unique feature of the Southern race question is presented by the attitude recently taken by State Senator Gibbs of Georgia, to the effect that, on behalf of the South, he wishes to drive the negro out. This Southern statesman is evidently of the most Bourbon type. Emancipation has rained the negroes, according to his view, and "there is not room enough in the South for the negro and the Yankee." Yet it is a singular feature of Southern legislation that the first step which Senator Gibbs would take to carry out his darling idea of removing from his sight the hateful spectacle of free negroes, is the repeal of the remarkable law which forbids emigra tion agents from operating in the State. The legislation of Georgia has been so decidedly in favor of keeping the negroes there to supply labor that the remarkable step of forbidding any man to come there and offer them inducements to settle in the "West or North has been enacted into law. This is exactly the same in effect as if Pennsylvania legislation should for bid any attempts in this State to interest either Pennsylvania capital or labor in the iron industries of the South. Such legislation is illiberal and sectional, wherever it appears; but it is a singular feature that the proposition to re peal it is inspired by an even more illiberal and reactionary hatred of the labor which under freedom has doubled the productive capacity of tbe South. "When one element of Southern opinion declares that the negroes must not leave the South if ther wish to, and the other de clares that they have got to go whether they wish or not, the practical result is likely to be that they are free to go or stay as they please. Bat the justice of that conclusion is not to be credited to either element of the dominant race, as far as can be perceived at present. DECENT TREATMENT "WILL PAY US. The recent remark of a missionary re turned from China upon the possibility that the Chinese, after organizing a navy, will develop such power as to attack the United States, calls forth an argument from the New York Tribune to show the utter hopelessness of any attempts to make China a great military power. The argument is hardly needed. The unwieldy nature of tbe great Empire, its conflicting elements of population, and above all the utter incapacity of her people for developing the military spirit, make it as unlikely that China will seek to conquer this country, as that Egypt in its decadence should have at tempted to subjugate the military Persians. But that does not at all diminish the silliness of unnecessarily and wantonly de ranging our relations with China. The reasons for cultivating friendlyfeeling with that empire are not military but commer cial. There is an immense and almost in exhaustible field for American enterprise there, if our national policy can ever be made to look beyond the object of carrying the next election. The opening of China by railroads and telegraphs, the markets that could be obtained there for our manu-J factures, and the products that could be brought back in return, are prizes well worth a decently courteous treatment of the Chinese Government. Other nations can see the importance of conciliating China; while our nation, which is most advanta geously situated for that trade and once held a great share of it, is now throwing away her chances. It is not necessary for us to throw open our gates to Chinese immigration. That matter can be properly regulated by the treaties which China is willing to make. But it will be worth our while to use a de cent decorum toward the Chinese Govern ment in securing such treaties. It is neces sary to remark that such decorum was en tirely lacking in the proceedings of last year. IT IS THE TJMPIBE'S TUBS. The baseball umpire is aroused. Even the worm will turn some day if trodden upon with persistency and a heavy shoe, and the empire has this disposition also. He has been trodden underfoot long enough this season under shoes with spikes in them. The playful Anson has sworn at him; the cultured Kelly has put out his jaw andhis jeers upon him, and every player in the diamond has upon occasion thrown a kick or a curse at him. The home plate has received gentler usage than the umpire. So long as the end of the season was afar off the umpire swallowed the insults, curbed his anger and hoarded his resentment. Now it is in sight he has grown several inches, his chest bulges out and he stands in awe of no man. He calls balls and strikes without calculating the cost. To this pitcherhe says "play ball!" and the pitcher plays ball; and to that catcher he says "go to 1" and he goes to without a murmur, for they both know that the umpire has his fighting clothes on and will fine their salaries into nothingness at the smallest show or in subordination. Managers are no longer autocrats, captains are of no more account than the small boy hanging to the cross arm of a telegraph pole outside the fence. Captain Hanlon, of the Pittsburg Beauties, knows this now. Other captains will know it. The umpire has many scores to settle, bnt from the way he has begun it looks as if the game would be several hundreds to nothing in his favor before the season closes. "We are with the umpire every time. GAMBLING FOB BE VENUE ONLY. The report that General Mahoue's plan for the settlement of the Virginia State debt, which is an issue in the State canvass, is tbe establishment of a lottery, ont of the profits of which the bankrupt State will be restored to solvency, should be interesting to the ad ministration. If a frank and open policy were adopted, we should think a faro bank run by tbe State or a detail of Virginia experts to play poker with the bondholders would be prompter and on the whole prefer able. Perhaps, however, the necessity of giving the ontside players a square deal in those games would detract from the large sum which is required for the payments of coupons and matured bonds. Still, what ever tbe most available form of gambling for steady revenne.it might be expected tnat the President and Mr. "Wanamaker would feel that they ought to be consulted in its selec tion before they furnish the office holders, whose patronage is to be used in its behalf. THE LEAST DESIBABLE FLAK. The conclusion which the administration has reached of building in the navy yards the 3,000-ton cruisers on which Congress put a limit of cost so low that the contractors will not take the job, is not likely to prove an improvement on the previous state of af fairs. Building vessels in the navy yards has generally proved a good thing for polit ical workers; but in the way of turning out first-class vessels such work has always been more expensive, less prompt and generally inferior to that done by private firms. The Secretary of the Navy had the very obvious course open to him when he found be could not let the contracts at the limit fixed by Congress ot letting Congress decide whether it would increase the amount or not. The plan, which is said to have been chosen will probably make the cost exceed the legal limit, give inferior work and re sult in more than the usual jobbery. Finding the assertion that "the conduct of the Agricultural Department has been for years a national scandal," in the es teemed Louisville Courier-Journal, the pub lic wonder is aroused first as to the nature of the scandal, and second, as to the genius in that line which created a scandal for years, in a department which was brought into ex istence about seven months ago. The mighty issues of metropolitan jour nalism are disclosed by the vie orous para graphs which the New York Sun and World are hurling at each other concerning the vital point whether the name of the noted field in Paris is "Champ de Mars" or "Champs de Mars." The information that "the "Window Glass Trust seems in danger of breaking" is re garded by the Buffalo Express as warrant ing the comment "Fragile stuff that." But the information being wrong, owing to the fact that the "Window Glass Trust has never been organized, and therefore cannot break, its fragility is as purely a matter of the im agination as its existence. The Bev. Joel Hicks having committed himself boldly to the prediction of violent autumnal storms and atmospheric changes for the 23d to the 26th, the weather is doing the usual rule full justice by settling down to a period of bright, calm fall weather. Me. Suxxivan's canvass for Congress has started out with his usual vigorous suc cess in drinking the greater share of the potables in his prospective district and cleaning out the crowd wherever he may be. Mr. Sullivan's campaign methods are vig orous, but they are nothing to the way in which he will get his little bill through Congress. Paris can rejoice in her superiority over tbe United States in one respect. Her na tional canvass only lasted a few weeks. But the rival parties fought for position be fore it came off, even longer than our states men wrestled with the tariff question. The discovery that Sunset Cox lived at No. 13 East Twelfth street; that he was a member of the Thirteen Club; that he was buried on September 13, and was five times 13 years of age, is published as "a morsel for the superstitious." The last fact should convey the instructing conclusion that it took a good deal of the thirteen nonsense to kill him. The reported discoveries of lead ore in Iowa may be an addition to our mineral wealth, and they may represent eligible real estate for sale to the Lead Trust. Boulanqer recognized that there was a time for disappearing, some months ago. He bobbed up once more at the electionsl yesterday, but before determining whether he has a new lease of political life, it is necessary, in France as in this Kepublic, to wait lor tho returns from the rural districts. Notwithstanding the abundance of Bepublican harmony on Saturday, the re port crops out that the late leader of the Home Bulers is going to cut the ticket. Whether this is an invention of Sir. Ma gee's enemies or not, it indicates that the harmony is not universally harmonious. The report that a combination of baseball players, instead of a combination of man agers, is going to run the business next year, is calculated to make the professional um pire seek some light and safe business, like throwing torpedoes into oil wells. It is insisted by the Cleveland Plain Sealer that Judge Thurman'a heart "still beats strong for the Democracy." Most probably; but that does not demonstrate that Democracy's heart in Ohio beats as strongly for Judge Tburman as for the bar rels of the Standard Oil and Beer Trusts. The equinox has come and gone; the summer has ended and the baseball season is drawing to a close, with the Allegheny team clinging desperately to its position of second place from the bottom. PEOPLE OP PROMINENCE. The German Emperor has given his portrait to Lorn Salisbury. The equestrian statue of General Robert E. Lee will be unveiled at Richmond, Va., on De cember 5. Milan Obrenovttcu says that ho left Ser via in order to teach his beloved people how a crown may be laid aside without repining. Minister Reid has met with great social success In Pans. He has so many invitations that be is able to accept but few of them. He and Consul General Rathbone have become great chums, and Mr. Reid will greatly regret tbe Calif ornlan's,departnro Irom France. 'When Frank Hiscock was at school," says a veteran story-teller at Syracuse, "he trusted everybody, and the hoys were always playing practical jokes on him. But be is changed since then, rather) He used to be considered homely, too, but be outgrew that before it got a good. hold on him." Miss Wanamaker, who is now visiting the Harrisons at Deer Park, is a tall, lithe young woman, who looks as though she could fence, row or wield a racquet She is rather hand some, and her face indicates perfect health. She is clever and witty and is a great reader. Mrs. Harrison has taken a great fancy to her and is anxious to have her with her as much as possible. Miss Wanamaker is not fond of gen eral society, but likes to meet people of intel lect, and can hold her own in conversation with the cleverest men and women in Washington society. Three big ships, tbe Umbrla, Alaska and La Gascogne, brought to New York yesterday 1,251 cabin passengers, mostly American tour ists. Ada Rehan, the actress, arrived on the Umbria. Also J. Macdonald Cameron, mem ber of Parliament; ex-Secretary of War W. C. Endicott, who has been visiting his son-in-law, Joseph Chamberlain, and F. W. RIne- lander. On the Alaska were Cyrus W. Field and Mr. and Mrs. H. D. Van Renssaeler; Will iam Ludwig, formerly of the American Opera Company; Mme. Adelaide Mueller, Miss Annie Layton, and Mr. Henry Beaumont Singer. English noblemen are beginning to invest largely in real estate in Australia. The Duke of Manchester, who has paid many visits to the antipodes, first set the example, which has been promptly followed by Lord Rosebery and Lord Brassey. Lord Carnarvon, too, owns city property in Melbourne and has an estate in Western Australia. But long ago Lord Sber brooke, then Mr. Robert Lowe, barrister-at-law at Sydney, bad purchased landed property in New South Wales, some of which he still holds. When the gold fever broke ont, how ever, his agent, thinking it presaged the ruin of the colony, put the larger portion on the market, when it was sold at a sacrifice. Had Lord Sherbrooke retained it, he would now be numbered among the Australian mlllionaries. AS COLLEGE G1EL AGAIN. Mrs. Grover Cleveland's Pleasant Remind ers of School Days. BuFFALo.September 22. Mrs. Grover Cleve land's friends have done all they conld to make her stay in her girlhood's home a pleasant one. Every day has been marked by a dinner, a lunch, or an entertainment of some sort since her arrival. Prominent among these was a re union of Wells College women given by Grace Carew Sheldon in honor of Mrs. Cleveland on Wednesday. The occasion was first cousin to the frolic held in the now burned precincts in and near "Goose Alley." The same old pasteboard placard, marked "Positively Engaged." hung on the door, the crackers went round in paper bags, tbe pickles were present in large num bers as of yore, and the same shoal of sardines floated in the cans and waited to he eaten with the fingers. The women, or "girls,' as they in variably called themselves, were in harmony with tbe occasion, and although, as one re marked, tbey were "better fed in these days than in those gone by," the lunch disappeared with the old-time rapidity. As a sauce reminiscences were served, one guest telling of the night when she fried oysters with a fork over the gas jet in her room, and another bringing to mind tbe olives which would always roll on the floor, but which were invariably picked up and devoured. Mrs. Cletcland was disposed to discuss tbe senons side of school matters, and tbe question of raising money for the new building as pre sented. She said: "I am told that if the cresent nlans for the building are earned ont we shall have the handsomest college building in America. Isn't that something worth working forT I think you ladies in Buffalo ought to raise SLOOO of the 6,000 we are trving to make np in the Eastern association." On Monday night Mrs. Cleveland will return to New York, where she will immediately go about the settling of her new house at 816 Mad ison avenue. While in this city she has done a good deal of shopping, and old chairs, draper ies, china and the like have been sent by her from hero for tbe New York home. A MIGHT! METROPOLIS. New "Vork Given a Popnlntlon of 30,000,. 000 for the Yenr 1090. From the Engineering-Building Hecord. General M. C. Meigs has published in a re cent number of Science a paper entitled: "The United States, their Growth in Population in Two Hundred Years," in which be estimates the progress of our population for the next century on the basis of an increase of 313 per cent every ten jears, which is a little less than the mean rate of increase for the last hundred years, and thus compntes the following table of population in future censuses: 1890 G7,240.O0O 1930 381,763,837 10 S9, 633, 333 1950 509,018,449 1910 H9.7i7,777 1970 6-8,691,:5 193) 1S9,650,K7 1980 804.92!,C8i 1930 111,867.177 1930 1,206,562,243 1940 233,822,877 In a private note to us, referring to the above, he says: "Tbe child is now born who in his old age will be one of l.oou.ouu.uw 01 people in the United States, of which 80,000,000 will be blacks, or of African descent." After pointing out that the cities will in crease tbe population at least as fast as the rural districts, and that, therefore, New York City will contain over 30,000.000, he alludes to the work 01 architects, engineers and me chanics that will be required to provide for the increase of 68,000,000 people. The present population of the whole earth Is between 1,500,000,000 and Lb00,000,000. As Viewed From Afar. From the Alt. California. J The Ohio campaign is hot enough to cook ap ples on the trees, Foraker is fighting like a wild cat, and the situation is so torrid that the cooling presence of Senator Sherman is prayed for by the whole people. Unsuccessful ns an Incubator. From the Chicago Hcws.l New York has been brooding over the World's Fair idea for two months and hasn't batched anything yet It looks as if that city were be stowing its attentions on a nestf nl of door knobs. Blatbrw J. Forsr. ilathew J. Forse, of JOS Jackson street Alle gheny, died yesterday morning at his home. He was a young man or great natural talents and a well-known and popular member of Allegheny society. THE CRITIC. Next Centnry's Peace Trusts Might Manage Intervening- Conflict Stockton and Stevenson Lost in Recent Work Detective Stories' Popularity A Cooper Wanted Crimford and Italy. According to Mr. Bellamy's "Looking Back- ward," it is the great corporations which are going to make tbe millenlum possible. By the time we get into the twentieth century wo will have learned the lesson which the trusts teach; we will discover that the combined Industries of the nation can be as successfully managed as the combined ovens of the coke trade. And then we will take the business of the country into our own hands, as we took its Government some hundred years or so ago, and set up the monopoly of monopolies. Mr. Bellamy has not much to say in "Looking Backward" about war. I supposo that when tho twentieth century Is fully here, war will be as obsolete as cannibalism. There may, how ever, be tbe possibility of a war or two between now and tho mlllenium. It may chance some day that the fish of the Atlantic or the seals of the pacific will get usinto trouble with Canada. Mr. Stockton, in the "Great War Syndicate," has predicted tho way out in such a case. Our side of the war will be conducted by the Great War Syndicate, a company of alert cap italists. They will make a contract with the Government to put the war down in so many months for so much money. Tbey will agree that in the event of the least harm coming to any American town, even the invasion by land troops from Canada of the obscurest frontier vil lage, they will forfeit Jl.OOO.OOO. Then they will take two small boats, a "repeller" and a "crab," and getting out in front of some large Canadian seaport, they will proceed to exhibit the energies of the "instantaneous motor bomb." They won't, kill anybody, but will quietly content themselves with showing how easily they could blow the whole town with all Its suburbs into the planet Jupiter. "At the first aggressive movement" they will say, "we will do that," then they will take a repeller and several crabs and attack England. In a single battle they will disable and defeat the united British Navy. Finally, as an unques tionable proof of the power of their new ex plosive, tbey will fire a bomb or two into a sea side mountain and leave a hole there where the hill stood, big enough to made a harbor for all the ships in the English Channel. That will be the end of the war. There is nothing so very Improbable in that. War, for now these many years, has been ap proaching the condition of impossibility. I saw the other day'the photograph of a great fort, whose huge walls, 18 feet in thickness, look grimly out from the coast of California toward Japan. That fort is good for nothing. It is as strong and solid to-day as it was when the last stone was set, but they have taken tbe cannon out and turned tbe fortress into a pleasure ground. Because a few years ago some quiet, peaceable, bespectacled German discovered a new explosive, and they make guns to-day which would have to fire only once at that fort to make it into a dust heap. By and by all the forts will havo to come down, and all the soldiers, armed with swords and guns, will become as useless as the Iron-shlrted warriors of the middle aces, when powder was invented. War will mean annihilation. Mr. Stockton tells his story charmingly, as he always does. It makes one think of that bright little sketch which somebody wrote not long ago in one of the magazines, "Tbe End of New York." . Mr. Stockton tells us what may be expected. That is pretty near the title of a story of his which Dodd. Mead & Co., have just pnt into new covers, and which is dated 1874. "What Might Have Been Expected" is not quite what most readers who bail Mr. Stockton's books nowadays will he likely to expect. It is not in the line of '-The Lady or the Tiger" at all; nor is it like "Tbe Lato Mrs. Neill," or Mr. Stock ton's larger stories. Mr. Stockton has said that a good many of his stories were written for children, but that the children's fathers and mothers sot hold of them and somehow liked them better than the children did. Bat this Is a boys and girls' book all the way through. It is a good, stirring, and inspiring book, a good story with an unobtrusive good moral, and the small readers will enjoy it Here and there are bright places which re mind one of Stockton, but for tbe most part there is Httlo to mark the book as being the child of the author. This is pretty gqod. "How old are you. Aunt MatildaT" said Harry. (Aunt Matilda was an old colored woman.) "I 'spect about 60," sala the old woman. "Oh, Aunt Matildal" cried Harry, "you're certainly more than GO. When I was a very little fellow, I remember that you were very old at least 60 or 70." "Well, then, I 'spects Tse about SO," said Aunt Matilda. "But you can't be 90," said Kate; "the Bible says that 70 years is the common length of a person's life " "Them was Jews," said Aunt Matilda. "It didn't mean no cull'd people. Cnll'd people live longer than that. Bnt p'raps a cull'd Jew wouldn't live very long." There is no particular connection between "What Might Have Been Expected" and "The Wrong Box," except that as it is hard to find Mr. Stock ton's style in the one, it is almost equally diffi cult to find tbe peculiar marks of Mr. Robert Louis Stevenson's pen in tbe other. Only in a page or two can I detect the author of "Dr. Jekyll" and "Thrown Janet" and "The Now Arabian Nights." The plot, however, is Stevensonesque enough. It is a continnation of that complicated fantasy which begins with the "story of the young man with the cream tarts" and winds in and out till the reader gets fairly dizzy. Mr. Stevenson constructed the plot; but Mr. Lloya Osbourne wroto the story. We have just had a revelation of the method ot work of one celebrated pair of co-workes. Erckmaunand Cbatrian have dissolved part nership, and Erckmann has told the secret Cbatrian made tbe plot; Erckmann filled in the details and did the writing. Every morning at 9 Chatrian went into Paris, getting back at 6. Erckmann stayed at home with pens and paper. After supper Erckmann read over to Chatrian what he had written, and Cbatrian. who is no writer, but a capital critic, criticized. Then they discussed tho next day's work. And great interest thoy took in it. "So we often sit together till midnight and aftor, pencil in one hand, notebook in the other, and exchange our thoughts half audibly. At 12 o'clock the housekeeper has orders to come in and tell us it is bedtime. If wo do not stir, she puts tbe lamp out. Sometimes we are so full of our subject that we cannot go to bed, and we sit on till 3 o'clock in the dark. If the housekeeper finds we are not in bed at 1 o'clock, sbe has orders to make a racket in the room, to bang the door, knock over the chairs, rattle the fire irons to drown our conversation and drive ideas out of our heads." That was how they did it. Mr. Stevenson must have been the Chatrian of this partnership. Nobody but tho author of the "New Arabian Nights" could havo con structed such a mad plot Another book with two names on Its title page is "A Dangerous Catspaw," by D. Christie Murray and Henry Murray. This is a good stralghtfoward detective story. It is not so complicated as Gaboreau's classics, butthen It does not stop in the middle, as Gaboriau is fond of doing, and go back on another switch to the start. Gaboriau gets tbe story into such a snarl tbat it seems as if there conld be no pas sible unwinding; then he takes one thread and beginning back, follows it ont all the way through. There Is no snarl about "A Danger ous Catspaw." It differs here f rbm most de tective stories. You know who the criminal is from the beginning. Thus the books lacks tho peculiar fascination of "The Leavenworth Case" and Miss Green's other stories. Never theless, it is quite interesting enough. The story is well told, and as nothing else is at tempted in the book, if you want a good story here it is. Tbe popularity ot tbe detective stories is slg. niflcant Mr. Prlckett, Mr. Gryce and Mr. Byrnes are very interesting characters just now. The true stories, as Mr. Julian Haw thorne's, are not quite so Interesting as the others which are only ideally true. Because real life lacks tho balance, proportion and gradual growth toward a climax which lire has when it is idealized. Still, Mr. Hawthorne's books have a 'wide reading.' Tho truth is, wo all like storle'. Wo are able, I hope, to appreciate and enjoy the books which, along with the story, give us a good deal to think about and even those in which tho telling; of the story is quite, subordinate tp tho studying of the people of the story; still, the plain story, told for the story's sake, Is very ac ceptable indeed. V American literature began with tbe telling of an interesting story. James Fenimore Cooper, if he had lived as long as a few men llvo, would have been 100 years old a week ago. In 1820 Cooper wrote "Precaution," and followed it with "The Deerslayer," "The Pathfinder," "The Last of the Mohicans," and the other delight ful adventures of Leatherstockmg. Cooper wrote stories. He looked at life from the out side. And we haven't outgrown that kind of book, even yet. It ought to be noted in these days, when Cooper's centennial brings him especially to mind, that be began a kind of writing in this country which has only of late found worthy followers, and which we ought to have a good deal more of. Cooper took a condition of life which was quite peculiar to tbe land In which he was born, and having made a study of it, put it into his books. It was tbe kind of work which Mr. Cable has been doing for Louisiana, and Miss Murfree for Tennessee, and Mr. Har ris for the plantation negro. This is a kind of realism which is worth while. , We get a lone way off from Cooper'slndlans, and from the life which Cooper's heroes lived, when we open "Bant' Ilarlo." Between a Mohi can wigwam ana a Roman palace, between Leatberstocklng and Saracinesca there is not much in common. There are not many of us who know much about either Indian chiefs or Italian princes, but we can all see that Coopea knew a good deal about Indians, and that Mr. Crawford knows a good deal about Italians. Mr. Craw ford, indeed, seems to be at home, and to have tbe faculty of making his readers at home, in several qulto different countries. Tako "Mr. Isaacs," and "Zoroaster," and "The Tale of a Conntry Parish," and "Grelfensteln," and "Marzio's Crucifix." and you will see that In dia, and Persia, ana England, and Germany and Italy become in turn the background of tbe scene. Some people, mostly critics and "amateur authors," seem to think that writing novels must bo pretty easy work. And so per haps it is with novels of a certain sort which are often pretty hard reading. But when one comes to consider what is involved in locating a story in a distant country, or in another cen tury, bow much knowledge of history, and geography, and scenery, and customs, and dress, and ways of talking and of thinking, novel writing gets tobe a ratherserious matter. Mr. Stevenson begins "The Wrong Box" by remarking upon "the hours of toil, consultation of authorities, researches in tbe Bodleian, cor respondence with learned and illegible Ger mans." which tbe novelist has to go through before be can even begin his novel. This Is a bit of fun on Mr. Stevenson's part and will do very well for him who gets most of his material out of his inner consciousness, but you may be sure that Mr. Crawford did not get his intimate acquaintance with his various backgrounds without some work. Edna Lyall is another cosmopolitan novelist. "Donovan" is an Englishman, the "Knight Errant" is an Italian, while her last hero tbe book is in press Is "A Hardy Norseman." "Derrick Vaughn, Novelist," however, needed "no special knowledge, and, in fact, is a slight story, not amounting to much. It is a kind of diluted "Donovan." After tho fine banquet of "Donovan" and "We Two," here is a cold lnnch on what is left over. Still, Edna Lyall has never written anything yet which is not helpful and healthful reading. Sir. Crawford, to come back to Saut' Ilarlo", seems to prefer Italy. "Marzio's Crucifix," "A Roman Singer," "Saraclnesea," and now this latest, have Italian backgrounds. The sentence has been widely commented on in which Mr. Crawford affirms that all foreigners who have written on Italy have misunderstood Italians. They have written up Italians after the fashion of a contributor to this month's Fortnightly Jieview, who begins a series of papers on "Rus sian Characteristics," with "Part One Lyingl" Mr. Ciawford thinks that he understands Italians; and who will gainsay him? At any rate, Mr. Crawford has done in "Sanf Ilarlo" some of the best work of his life. The story is strong, full of spirit and interest, dramatic, and holds one's attention from start to climax. The characters are, without ex ception, people worth knowing. The reader lives for the time being In tbe Rome of the days of Garibaldi. One is given enough to see. and enough to think about. To get inside one of these Roman palaces and see how family life goes on there, after a fashion quite fts own, is worth while. As for the deeper side of the book, Mr. Crawford has never written anything better than his stndy of Bant' Ilarlo and Corona during that critical time of their misunder standing, and ot the old librarian during tho days after tbe murder. This is work of no common kind. And then, too, the story ends well; and in these days, when it seems to be a popular fashion in fiction to write the last pago so that the reader, when he comes to it, will throw the book across tho room, that 13 something to be thankful for. A PBETTI "WOMAN IN A BAGE. HIsbly Indignant at n Question Concerning the Cost of Brr Teeth. From tbe Cincinnati Times-Star. I In a Vine street cable car, the other day, were an old gentleman with an ear-trumpet and a very pretty young woman, accompanied by a little boy. She smiled at intervals on the boy, and showed her pretty teeth in a bewitching way. All at once tbe old man, in tbe way pe culiar to so many deaf people who do not know how to modulate their voices, said in tones so loud as to be audible all ovpr the car: "I only paid ?5 for my upper teeth. What did yours cost7" To say tbat tho pretty woman was mad is putting it mildly. She flounced around with a flush of anger blazing in her cheeks, and sig naled tho conductor to let her out at the next crossing. No Dlntcli for Chinese Cunning From the Baltimore American. 1 It seem rather odd tbat tbe Government officials in Ran Francisco cannot keep out the forbidden Chinamen. Tbe Yankee loves to think himself the shrewdest fellow in the world, but he seems forced to admit his inabil ity to copo with the despised Celestial. Well Worth Picking Up. From the Baltimore American. 1 Mr. Joseph Chamberlain intimates that Glad stone has lost his bead. It would be tbe luckiest thing that ever happened to Joseph to find it ODD ITEMS FROM ABEOAD. An English plasterer has been staggered with a fortune of 1,400,000, left to him by a clergyman who emigrated and prospered In Sydney. Mr. Laeotjcheke attempts to be the pioneer in a reform of portentous difficulty. He wants to abolish the chimney pot hat for use in London. The smokeless powder that Austria is using makes such a fearful smell that it will have to be abandoned. At a recent practice shoot sev eral men fainted from it A TOTJNa woman of Southport puts tho most deliberate method of suicide on record. She walked into tbe water and sat down. Af ter a while she lay down, and the tide rose and carried her off. The Bishop of Worcester lately attempted to prevent a clergyman of his parish from speak ing at a Baptist chapel, but the clergyman spoke for all that, and the situation excites considerable Interest The Afghan Ameer's method of vengeance on his rebel prisoners is pretty hlchly devel oped. One batch, numbering 300, were put to death three a day. One of the trio was always hanged dressed in yellow and green, another was dressed in black and blown from a gun, and the third was dressed in red and cut up with a sword. A pamphlet, thought to be from high sources, has just been published in Berlin, say ing that the reasons whloh prevented Germany during the days of Emperor William from bringing matters to a crisis between Russia and France on one side and the Triple Alliance on the other have now disappeared, and a pre cipitation of the contest may be looked for at any moment A Frekch woman invented one of the most original methods of dealing with a refractory child ever revealed to tho public She fastened on tho hat of her 8-year-old daughter, who bad been naughty, a placard inscribed with tbe words, "Mademoiselle is a thief and a liar." and walked her through the streets. It took a policeman to rescue tho lady from the mobbing of an indignant crowd. 002 MAIL POUCH v .' Tho Cause of Baldness. To the Editor of The Dispatch: Is there any remedy for premature greyness and baldness! I refer to young men 25 to 35, or good birth, sound constitutions, correct habits. Myself and many of my friends are fast becoming grey haired and gaining high foreheads. What is the probable cause, heredity, tight hats orbraln work? For myself I have lived out of doors, never was sick, seldom wear a tight bat and live plainly and correctly, and finally greyness is not heredi tary, l. Pittsburg, September 2L One of the last opinions on baldness is that it is sympathetic with dyspepsia or visceral in flammation, added to the intense mental strain of business. The loss of phosphates from bolted flour also robs the brain of tbe supply needed for its constant labor, and the physical de mands of the system. Close sleeping rooms in jure the hair, as well 'as the brain it covers. very few young men have really correct habits of eating, or sleep enough to recruit the nervous forces. They eat and sleep just enough to prevent them from feeling any failnre of force, but an unconscious drain limits and lessens it It would be interesting to know just how many hours by the clock that young man sleeps in a fortnight, and just what is his bill of fare for that time? A strict ac count might throw light on the matter of cor rect babits without further advice. If young men will demand the strong bread and cereals which keep up nerve and muscle, will not grudge sleep, and wear hats only when indis pensable, tbey will find hair staying on their beads. Tbe habit of weanng hats In offices, in hotel rotundas, wbenever possible, injures the brain and hair more than anyone is aware of. If men should return to antique usage, and lift the hat more frequently to ventilate the head, it would benefit more than their manners. Another Word About Manufactured Honey. To tbe Editor of the Dispatch: A letter appeared in a recent issue of The Dispatch in reference to some statements made in the article by the writer on the subject of sugar and honey. It had been my intention not to answer this letter, but at the request of many friends the writer wishes to make the following affirmations: First, that be has found a comb honey (T) on the market which contains no evidences of the presence of any bee product whatever. There is no hearsay evidence about it tbe specimen was handled and microscopically examined by the writer. Second, that each and every one of the adulterations stated in these articles to have been found, were detected by tbe writer himself in sample obtained as stated. In all cases where posslble,samples of the adulterated foods have been retained, with proof of the adulteration found. The one thing above afl others that Is claimed for these articles is accuracy; and when anything has been asserted on hearsay evidence, it has been so stated. Tbe writer does not care what the supplement of the en cyclopedia mentioned said or did not say. He knows what he has seen, and he can prove it But he declines to enter into a controversy, as he does not wish to go into the detective busi ness or compete for prizes. However, if tbe doctor who wrote tbe letter referred to, or tbe gentleman who is offering prizes, or any one else will come to the writer's office, he may see a sample of adulterated comb honey with irre Bistable proof tbat It is such. Chevalier Q. Jackson, M. D. Ptttsb-oeo, September 2L The Name Great Britain. To the Editor of The Dispatch. 1 Why was England called Great Britain 7 Mansfield, September ZL Fred. IThe term "Great Britain" was first applied to England, Scotland and Wales at the union of two crowns, October 21, 1601, when James L was proclaimed "King of Great Britain, France and Ireland." The legal application of the term commenced at tbe legislative union agreed upon by the commissioners, July 22, 1706, when it was provided that the two States should form one "United Kingdom of Great Britain." Of course, Great Britain is only an enlargement of the term Britain. The origin of the word Britain has excited much con troversy. Aristotle B. O. 384 322 is the first writer who makes direct mention of the word Britain. Herodotus uses the term, though he declares that be can give no information on the subject of its origin. In early native poems it is called tbe Isle of Prydhaln, of which Carte conjectures Britannia to be the Latinized form. Aristotle mentions two large islands. Albion (England) and Ierne (Ireland) called Britannic, in the ocean beyond the Pillars of Hercules. Origin of West Virginia. To thA Editor of The Dispatch: v What were the causes that led to the organ ization of the State of West Virginia. It Uniontown, September 2L The people of West Virginia had from the beginning of the Civil Titer been opposed to secession, and tbey persisted in refusing to place themselves under the rule of tbe Confed erate Government and the State Government of Virginia, which bad seceded. On June 11, 1861, representatives from about 40 of the west ern counties of Virginia met in convention at Wheeling; and on tbe 17th they declared West Virginia independent of the rest 01 tne State and elected Frank Pierpont to be Governor. On December 31,1852, Congress passed an act admitting West Virginia into the Union as a separate State, and it took its place among tbe states on June zo, lbo&j London's Population. To the Editor of The Dlspatcn: Please answer through the columns of your paper, which has the greater population, the city of London or tbe five largest cities of the United States combined, according to the latest obtainable reports? McG. Pittsburg, September 21. The latest official census returns are those of 1880 in this country and those of 1881 in En gland. The figures are: New York, 1,206,299: Philadelphia. 817,170; Brooklyn, 565,663; Chi cago, 503,185; Boston, 369.832; total for five American cities, 3,193,119. Population of Lon don, 3,832,441. ON OBJECTION WAS MADE. A Report ns to Ibe First ftlarrlnge of Jeffer son Davis Denied. Atlanta, September 22. The published details ot tbe first marriage of Jefferson Davis are contradicted by Major JobnF. Edwards, of this city, at tbe home of whose grandmother the wedding took place. Mrs. Allison was the sister of General Taylor, and at tbe General's request the marriage took place at her house. The license was procured by Mr. Allison. General Taylor's objection to the marriage of his daughter sprang from bis reluctance to part with her company, and not from dislike to the man of her choice. Says Major Edwards: "The weddinc came off auletly at my grand mother's house, with the consent and good wishes of all tbe relatives of tbe young people. Tbe witnesses were Colonel Hancock Taylor, Genera) Taylor's brother; Captain Allison, bis brother-in-law, and my brother and grand mother." Dlerely Geographical Information. From the Tr'ashlnjtton Star.l Tbat was a smart girl in Alexandria who wrote to her young man, who was forbidden to loaf around tbe ranch, tbat her ma was coing by boat to Washington, but that her pa would be hanging around home base, presumably at the corner grocery. The old man read the let ter and delivered it himself, thinking it con tained merely a little geographical information. It read: "Marseilles to Washington over 3,000 miles, but Paris not so far." Anotber Error Exploded. From the Boston Herald. The Becretary of State will shortly return to Washington. The suspicion that he was lost, and gone forever from the administration, is thus hungup alcngstde tbe reports concerning his failing health. FOUR PHASES. Golden ringlets, hazel eyes. Deep and dreaming, fixed afar; Thoughts that to tbe zenith rise, Life the sky and he a star; This the boyish poet's rapture Ere the hours bis being capture! Chestnut locks about tbe brow; Lore and beiuty ripe and real; Lore, a faith the heart to bow, lieauty, a divine Ideal; These the poet's manhood gladden Till the years his spirit sadden I Silvery gray the clustering curls; Darkling clouds in autumn's sky; Youthful gems but melting pearls; Beauty dead and lore a lie; This the poet's fatal after Bitter tears or blithesome laughter! Snowy hair and froty beard. .Kindly glance and iheery saying; Fair the pliant in once he feared W bile the soul was still a-Majlnz, Poet chant celestial measures; Kapt tho realm that holds thy treasures! Vavia Gratiam Adee, in WatMngton Critic, r-z. A-1TAMM8TK SDMBI84 L'f Brief Review of tbe Contests of Yester day's 30-Page Dispatch. Tus Dispatch of yesterday was a great newspaper in every tense of the word. It con sisted of 20 pages, 160 columns, filled with fresh news from all porta of the globe and special articles, by prominent writers, on topics of general interest There was not a dull page, or a dull paragraph, in tbe whole mammoth edition. A library of useful information for half a dime that is what Tub Dispatch is giving and will continue to give to Hi readers every Sunday. 1. Tbe interesting question in European poli tics at present la. What will be the result ot the French election f Bonlanger claims be will get 30 seats. It Is thought tbat other English labor ers, encouraged by the success of tbe dock men, will soon strike for higher wages. Preparations for war are steadily going on, and It is thought that the yisit of the Czar to Ger many will have no effect on the relations of tbe two countries- Smokeless powder is declared to be a great military acquisition. Another and superior powder has been Invented In Russia. A formal protest has been made against the American Consul at Berlin, but he is under stood to be supported by Blaine. ChalkleyLeConey, of MerchantvUle, N. J, has been arrested. for the murder of bis niece Annie. The efforts Of the Quay men to cap ture the Berks county convention resulted In a bolt. Two conventions were held and two sets of delegates stolen. It is now charged against General Mahone tbat he was a coward daring tbe war. Virginia Democrats propose a scheme to try him for campaign effect Senator Hls cock's candidates were defeated in a nominat ing convention at Syracuse, in his own county. Dissatisfaction with tbe distribution of local patronage was the cause. Thomas Jordan, df Braddock, died while under the lnfldence of an anaesthetic. The Coroner was called upon to investigate the case. Banc robbers have stolen 810,000 In Northern 'Wisconsin. There is no clew. n. An interesting review of local politics was given on the second, page. J. J. O'Reilly; the agent says the English syndicate has paid f60, 000.000 for American breweries. The question of postal savings, banks was discussed, pro and con, by Postmaster Larkln and others. A music hall is talked of by the Exposition man agers. The appointments made by the African M. E. Conference were given. The Trades Council has asked Mr. Marvin to resign as President of the Exposition Society. The Pittsburg club played tbe Indianapolis team and was defeated, 9 to 8. Other interest ing baseball news and sporting gossip filled portions of the sixth and fourteenth pages. m. Parts IL and HL (pages 9 to 20) were rich In entertaining and attractive features. A very complete history of the old Wyandot mission in Northwestern Ohio, finely illustrated, was furnished by a staff writer. Henry Haynle gave a series of graphic sketches ot life in Baden-Baden. "The coin craze" was the sub ject of M. M.'s paper, which contained much information of interest to all collectors. A night ride on the locomotive of a limited ex press was described by X. W. X. The Eiffel tower and the impressions Mrs. Frank Leslie formed of it were charmingly set forth. Charles O. Stickney told how sweet corn is put up for the market in the big factories of Maine. Shirley Dare furnished a common sense talk that will interest both men and women. Rev. George Hodge's essay on "Fatal Ignorance" contained abundance of food for reflection. Dr. Jackson discussed the Impurities of milk, and the adulterations practiced. The life of a racer was the subject of an article by George F. Dobson, which every lover of fast horses should read. Other papers In the second part were by G. H, Wilson. Bessie Bramble, J. T. Hatfield and anonymous authors. The third part contained two excellent com plete stories "The Woman With Three Roses," by E. D. Beacb, and "The Duke and the Witch," by Ernest H. Heinrlchs. Other original matter In this part of the paper in cluded the following: "The Saltan of Turkey," by Frank G. Carpenter; "A Soldier's Bride," Elizabeth Bacon Custer: "Select Socialists." M. M. Dtlke; "The Third Degree," Benjamin Northrop; "A Day With a Pope," Frederick, Sanborn; "Sunday Thoughts," a clergyman; rAppIes and Actors," BUI Nye: "At Nag's Head,"W. Cotten Downing: "Gossip," Clara Belle; and "Those Royal Women," Olive Wes ton. It was a greatand excellent number. PBE81DENT- BARNARD'S WILL. Yalanhlo Brqncsts to tho College Over Which He Presided Blnny Years. rsrzcLU, tzxxoilui to Tin DisrATcm.1 New York. September 2L Surrogate Ran som has admitted to probate the will of Fred erick A P. Barnard, President of Columbia College, executed January 25, IS88. Dr. Barnard gives his microscopical apparatus to his wife daring her life, and at her death It goes to the trustees of Columbia College for use in tbe physical department All of the books his wife does not care for are to be sent to the librarian of the college. He bequeaths bis gold cosmic time watch to bis friend, John K. Rees, for his work in meteoroloeical reform. The residue of his estate will be held by the executors in trust for his wife, who is to re ceive ine income aunng her nie. At her death small bequests will be made to nephews and servants, and the remainder bequeathed to Columbia College. Of this fund left to the college 10.000 is to be used for the foundation of tbe "Barnard Fellowship for Encouraging Scientific Research." THE EOSAKI DISCONTINUED. Woodwork in St. Paul's Cathedral Makes the Church Daneerons. Owing to the great amount of scaffolding in St Paul's Cathedral, necessitated by the work of cleaning the church, it has been decided that it is too dangerous to light tbe vast edifice at night as the woodwork might catch fire. The service of reciting tbe Rosary in the even ing has therefore been discontinued untittho work is completed. The recitation will take place each morning Immediately after mass, instead of In the evening: Nearly every person who went to the chnreh yesterday had his or her peace of mind ruffled by the condition of the pews. Tbe latter were covered with dirt and mortar, and were in a dirty condition. The ladles (fathered their dresses closely about them, hut could nut pre vent their garments from being soiled. Just What Is Wanted. From the Washington Post; Scales so delicate tbat they register the weight of an eyelash or a man's signature have been perfected. This fills a long-felt want Just such a pair of scales are needed to weigh the ante-election promises of political candi dates. TBI-STATE TRIFLES. AnsHEBHAir atDoylestown sawasunflsh swallow a bee, and a few minutes later saw the fish on tbe water dead. He cut is open and the bee flew off. Dr-O. L. SAtxor, of Bethlehem, owns a cocker spaniel that can pick President Harri son's photograph from a group of pictures. A Cleveland woman climbed a tree In one of the public parks just because a wild Texas steer chased her. At the Berks County Fair Common Council man John C. Hepler had 124 cases containing 34,000 buttons, no two of which aro alike. A colored man had a lively time of it in Willlamsport Thursday nVornlng. He attempt ed to remove some honey from the heart of an elm tree tbat bad just been cut down, when the bees attacked him. They stung him about the face and bands, and even got under his clothes. After this he naturally lost all interest In the honey, but others cleaned out the tree, getting at least 75 pounds of the sweet deposit. There was fun at a Weston, "W. Va., ball the other day. Someone threw a pint of red pepper on the floor of tbe dancing hall, and while tbe dancers were holding on to each other and sneezing and weeping great scalding tears, tho rascal further complicated matters by biding all the hats, bonnets and wraps. Some of these articles were found up the chimneys, and others were never found at all. A cistern built about 120 years ago by the Moravians of Bethlehem, and which stood on the premises of the village blacksmith, was discovered Friday by workmen. A 2 konths-ols calf raised on the farm of Thomas. King, of West Chester, weighed 240 pounds. GUJUtMH ?ii. . Ner.. sofcoeHHKae test FsMaf aWenteoa a4 waskflled. f The new FrasbsMB aloes at PissMMtes is tbe largest that evecere4taoeH. It numbers 200. Lenawee couaty, XM,, k at jweseat paying ont something like Hi a day U fcentsea A farmer in Fraaklia OMatf, Vt, picked a second cropoffteW stzawfeesies aad raspberries the first ot but week. There are 60 paper towns ia gefterm Callferni, cemprialae 79,388 tqwa lets, MMltfca whole 60 have only 2ffiiakabftaat&, The Government drr dock, jwt opened at tbe navy yard In Norfolk, Vs., io MSieet over all. and wUlhoid8,089,09e gaHeM ot water. It has cost over 1689,009. The .Mayor of Litchfield, I1L, was re lieved of bis cash and valuables tbe otter (War by a lone highwayman ia the presesee of six policemen. The robber eseaped. Charles Lambeieden, a Milwaukee la borer, kept bio little fertsae of ,9e fat' a stocking. The other oay when be weot to leek for it both stocking and money were geae. Woodbridge Cllfferd, Aa postmairtir at North Edgecoab, Me was appelated nadf Postmaster General Amos Kesidat! Oetefeeri, 1880. and has held tbe offiee ever ataee kM date. Bagdad, on tbe Athom awl f aetCa road. is said tobe tbe hottest ttatiea, ea the road. The thermometer has steed at WPim the dining room and 128 at mMaigSto Mm coolest side of tbe depot Lieutenant Schwatka eetlsMtes tie numberofUvingcBff-dwellershebMtHseeTered in Southern Chihuahua at from 8,609 to IS,. They are wild and shy, and upon tbe aaareaect ot white people flee to then: eaves in a harm The giant diamond lately discovered let Cape Colony, and now at the Paris Hxposlttcn, weighs 160 carats, and is valued at S4.0es.66a. It Is said to be of tbe first water aad as pare-so the famous Regent is the Freaea crown dta- sionaa. A hill making it illegal for anyone to let or sell houses unless a certlBoate furnished by a Government Inspector is produced, show ing that the premises are ia a perfectly sani tary condition, is tobe introduced In the Brit ish House of Commons. One of the most remarkable old ladies in Cobb couaty, Ga is Mrs. Olive Haaby. She Is now 75 years old, and the mother of ulna children, six of whom are Mriag. She has 68 grandchfldren, and can resell all of tfeenta two hours' ride, except two who resjdeia Arkansas. She can teM tbe age aad nasse of every efeBd and grande&Hd, givteg dates with aarfeK clearness. "While a French girl was phrtB-'.wfe a rope about her neck tbe ether attewtooa at a Lake Village (N. 2.) teaeeaet ;' building was struck by lteBtirfnc. aad, as tie story goes, the rope was destroyed by the etee trio current but the child eeeaped naietafed. A month ago, it is added, the sasse gfrl dm struck and thrown into a ditea by tbe (eeeese ttre of an express train, but was not hart AJBuSalo carpenter committed saleide last week and left a letter allegteg as Ms Ma son for the act that ,haTlog been engaged a the carpenter trade for many years, be bad de cided upon doing tometblag higher aad better. The Bible, be continued, says tbat ""In my Father's house are many aaasioas,' aadseae of them must need repairing. So bavteg beea a good carpenter on earth he guessed be eesld get along in heaven." He then abet htaeetf. DisproportioDableaeM, with 21 lettett, is said to be the longest English word. Other languages furnish numerous exassfles et longer ones. For instance: Oaeof tbevffiagea in the north of Wales is called LllaatsJrpwH gyngllgogerpwllandypilwgoga. On tbe Isle ot Mull, in Argyllshire, there .is a pJaoe eaZM. Drymtaidborickbillichartaa. The two leeeeet worris in the German Iaagnage are: Gasesd-. h e i t swiederhersteUungszusaBHBenmisebaBoa verhaltalssknndiger and CoBstanttBopeH tan Ischerdudelsackpfelfergeselleehaltsvftreffl macber. A discovery referring to tbe Ires Age has been made at Gloppen, on tbe coast of Norway. A burial chamber, 12 feet in length and formed of stone slabs, has beea uncovered, containing the remains of a man. Aroesdtbe neck of the body was a cloak in a perfect state of preservation which revealed wondertejiy rich embroidery of images of. animals., la tbs hands bad been placed three interlaced wooden rings, resembling tbe well-known pscate riags, an object never before discovered taancioat graves. The dtoeovery has gives Netwagtatt, arefeJBo-logtsf much food for,specnJeMn,ai - Tuesday, as Dr. P. S. Chapman aad S. A. Lewter. ot Orlando, Fla were driTteg abamt two miles east of the town, they setteed. large rattlesnake lying at the mouth ot a gopher hole. Mr. Lewter jumped down from tbe buggy and fired. The smoke from hie gun had no more than cleared awav when IS to 20 small snakes, anywhere from 12 to 20 Inches long, came out of the gopher hole and grabbed bold of the old snake and dragged her back Into the hole. Mr. Lewter caught hold of tbe snake's tail, but the rattles broke off, letting her free. He then aimed bis gun into the bole and fired both barrels. He then obtained a long stick and commenced poking down lato tbe hole, and succeeded In pulling out 13 dead small snakes, besides the large oae he flat fired at Mrs, Cheek, daughter of one ot the earliest missionaries to Stem, recently returned to San Francisco. Speaking of tbe people of Laos, in the northern part of the country, she said: "Wages ot common laborers range from $3 to $4 per month. It Is dangerous to know too much in Laos. Skilled mechanical work IS done by men drafted by the Government or by prisoners. These drafted men get very little for their services, and perhaps receive IS rupees for a year's labor. The form of religion consists principally in worshiping spirits. Laos people believe that different families have different spirits which watch over their safety. Once a year spirit dances are held, bnt only women participate In them. The dance is kept up all day, and as the women drink heavily their movements toward nightfall are rather 'groggy.' All missionary work In Laos has beea done by Presbyterians, i FUNNr MEV8 FANCIES. Sir Edwin's Lightness. McCorkle Tsea that Sir Edwin Arnold says Ireland has no griev ance. aleCrackle-Yes; he made ''Light or Asia," and now he makes light of Ireland's straggles. Sew York Bun. First Chappie Good heavens, Cbawles! Yon are not sending a cheek to your tailor, are you? Second Chappie Naw; I'm sending him a note to tell him that I may send him a check next month. Most bweat it to him gently, doncber knowf Amtrica. An'Iowa man has a theory that sunshine can be bottled on or lmnrlsoned in such -& war that llcsn be utilized on gloomy days. Eo has oullt a great tank for storing It bnt It looks a little qnecr to- see him groping about with a lantern to tee how h la sunshine is getting on. Texas Sifting 1. "Young man," said a minister to a mem ber or his congregation, "do you know what re lations you sustain la this world?" "Well. Just at present tbe only relation I am lustalninfFjin this world is my father-in-law, bnt you can Just gamble on it 1 am not going to sustain him very long," was the reply. Texas Giftlags. The Vein She Was In. Papa "Which of your suitors do you think you will accept, Maris, Jones or Smith? Maria-Which woaldyou favor, papa? Well. Smith has a fine .vein ot humor. But Joneahas a fine vein of anthracite coal upon his farm. papa. I think I'll take him. Sensible tx Texas Sifting t. Friend How are yon and your creditors coming on? Do they dan you as much as ever? Impecunious Party 0. 1 am fixed now. I have rented a room up la the attic It has no stairs at all. How do yoa get Into yonr room? With a ladder. When I am out I leave the ladder standing. When I am In the rooml pull up the ladder. Texas Btflings. HE KSOWS IT 'V7XXA. Observe the youth as argument His emptvhead engages, Dispose of questions held in doubt lly gray savants and sages; Some twenty summers may have tinged His cheeks with color ruddy; And yet he seems by means occult to nave oDtalned the net result Of centuries of study. -PkUadelpMa Prus. THE BAD SEASON. The melancholy days have cornel With grief oar bosoms tbrlll As we light the gas at 5 o'clock And calculate the bill. No more we hear the "sad aea waves" As on the Snore we rove: Tls time to pack the window screens And set the parlor store. Onrfntureshowsnorsyoflhjht, But deeper grief we'll know When we must rise at A- " To shovel off the snow. JStJ- Jrey Tpaag, 7 1 3