??"? - 'V; THE PITTSBURG DISPATCH, "SUNDAY,. SEPTEMBER "? 1889.' fi;r FEBRUARY 8, 1S46. VoL-M, 120. Entered at Pittsburg Postoffice, JtOitmbcrM, laS7, as second-class matter. Eusiness Offlcs97 and 99 Fifth Avenue. News Eooms and Publishing House 75, 77 and 79 Diamond Street asiern Advertising Office, Itoom 13, Tribune Building, New York. Average net circulation or the dally edition of Hie DisrATCU for six months ending August SI, 1SS), as sworn to before City Controller, 30,045 Copies per Issue. ATerago net circulation ofthe bunday edition of Tue Dim'atcu Tor three montbs'cndingAngust 31, 2SS9, 55,643 Copies per Issne TERMS OF THE DISrATCH. rOSTAGE rr.EE Ii TIIE umted states. Daily Dispatch, Onelear 8 00 Daiia Dispatch, Per Quarter 2 00 DULY DISrATCH. One Month 70 Hailt Dispatch, including Sunday, lycar. 10 CO J ' uly Dispatch, including bunday, Sm'ths. S SO Daily Dispatch, including bunday, 1 month 90 Mday Dispatch, One 1 ear 5 50 eei.lt Dispatch, One Year 1 25 The Daily Dispatch Is delivered by carriers at 35 cents per week, or Including bunday edition, at" TOcents per week. Voluntary contributors should keep copies of articles. If compensation ts desired the price expected must be named. Hie courtesy of re turning rejected manuscripts mil be extended trhen stamps for that purpose are enclosed, but the .EuiroroTliE Dispatch trill under no trcumstances be responsible for the care of tin coitcittd manuscripts. llOsTAGE All persons who matt the r-uudny issue 'of Tho Dispatch to friends Miould bear in mind the fnct that the post npo thereon is Two (2) Cents. All donble mid triple number copies ol Tho Dispatch require a 2. cent stamp to insure prompt delivery. PITTSBURG. SUNDAY. SEP. 13, 1S89. EKD OF TEE WINDOW GLASS STEIKE. The quiet settlement of the window glass strike, by the concession of a moderate advance to the glass workers, was a mild and sensible way of ending what might otherwise hare been a Terr stubborn and protracted dispute. This disposes of the wage question in the important industries of Pittsburg for this year. There is good ground for hope that work will go on with out interruption and that the improvement of bnsines next year will make the settle ment of the wage question a comparatively easy matter. It is hardly possible to avoid a little comment on the difference between the verbal attitude oi the employers at the beginning of this strike and the practical admission of its conclusion. Like their brethren in the iron trade, the manu facturers declared that they could not pay the wages demanded without loss, and that their works would remain closed until the men accepted their terms. The precedent was followed by conceding an ad vance rs soon as it was found that other concerns did so. The assertions of last month that this will make the glass indus try a losing business need not canse anr un easiness. "We have every confidence that our Iriends of the glass trade will be able to meet all their obligations and to close the yc.tr with a modest balance on the right bide of the profit and loss account. feiill it is worth while to ask. whether thcie is any use making such representa tions when they are ill-rounded. They do not affect anyone now, and some time it may be a vital matter to have the working men and public understand that they are trne. THE CHANCES TOE PABKS. The interview with Mr. Bigelow, the head of the Department of Public Worts, with regard to the materialization of park projects, makes very pleasant reading. Mr. Digelow says, practically, that the Hiland avenue, Duquesne way and Bedford avenue parks are assured facts, and that there are very favorable prospects of the largest and most attractive of all, that on the Schenley property, soon becoming a certainty. This lioldsouta gratifying promise that Pitts burg will soon be well supplied in what has lieretofore been her greatest deficiency. The attitude of a great manufacturing city, whose open spaces -were comprised within the limits of the squalid Second avenue opening, was not creditable. But when the parks referred to are completed, Pittsburg need not shirk the .comparison of its parks with any in the country for natural beauty. DIGNITY AND SIMPLICITY. The pleasant expressions of Edwip Ar pold we cannot regard the "Sir Edwin" as anything but an unornamental prefix to the name of the author of the "Light of .Asia" concerning the way affairs at our national capital strike him are quite sooth ing to American susceptibilities. But they have the ring of genuineness; and their strongest characteristic is their truth. The assertion that our Government and society Jose nothing in dignity by simplicity and absence of ceremony rests on a sound basis. Simplicity is never undignified and ceremony can only be useful to conceal some inherent lack of the qualities which make up trne dignity. This view, from one of the mobt cultured men of the age. should have its instruction for those who desire to re place our dignified simplicity with a cheap imitation of the forms by which the Old "World covers up thevery petty qualities of its courts. THE VIETrJE OF DISCRETION. The case of Corporal Tanner was the lead ing piece on the political bills all last week; and right lively has been the commotion over it. To suppose that the Corporal's resignation composed entirely the troubled waters, is surely to err, as the protests of In galls, Alger, the fiery Private Dalzell and other spokesmen for the veterans were hardly .needed to show. Tfie Administration will secure, of course, as a successor for the Commissioner, some one gifted after the fashion of the President himself, with wide open ears and a very little and infrequently opened mouth. Yet, after all is said and much admitted of Tanner's loquacity, or of laxity even in his business ideas, his case will be apt to be long remembered chiefly as one in whichatoo vociferous and enthusiastic effort to carry out the promises and pledges of his party met with decidedly chilling re sults. It is just liable to happen that the most discreet of Commissioners will find difficulty in living up to a liberal interpre tation of the pension laws without knocking "a hole in the surplus," unless when Con gress makes legislation, it also makes appro priations to correspond. For the present the Executive branch of the Government has to "bear the embarrassment of trying to stretch the cloth to fit the pattern; but that is hardly fair to President Harrison and his Cabinet who may wclL demand that Con gress either revise the pattern -or supply more cloth. There is one feature oi Uli.U.WUH ESTABLISHED Tanner's case that is gratifying by contrast with, its other features. No one charges that pensions were fraudulently, dis honestly or illegally allowed during his encumbrance. The President and Secretary Xoble may have been put to an extraordi nary mental strain by the radical views of their outspoken" subordinate, who evidently meant to live up to his own pledges with eclat, come what might; but there is nothing to allege against tbe ex-Commissioner's good faith. It was the width of the swath which he cut the swine of his lively right arm his uncommon earnestness and fre quency in telling what he thought, and his uncommon vigor in trying to do what he promised that produced the alarm. Where an appropriation runs short and an Administration is discovering that two and two do not make five, these qualities in an official may not be the most useful. Still they are not, perhaps, intrinsically repre hensible; so that while the Corporal has lost his situation, it is by no means likely that he has also lost so much of his in fluence as some of his critics have been rather hasty to assume. He is of too ener getic a temperament not to be heard from again. THE EEST0EATI0N OF JOHNSTOWN. With the further distribution of f 1,600, 000 ordered lor the relief of Johnstown, the efforts of the people of the afflicted town to get upon their feet again must be ma terially forwarded. The revival ot the town is no longer a matter oi question. For a long time yet its citizens will have an up hill struggle: but great emergencies bring out forces equal to them. Much assistance, as well as sympathy, will continue to flow to Johnstown beyond the disbursements of the Belief Commission. The claims of in dividuals for consideration in their mercan tile dealings with the outside world are sure to meet with considerate and generous re sponses, of which no mention will be found in the daily papers, but whose influence will none the less be encouraging and bene ficent The shadow of the recollection of the terrible calamity of May 31, 1889, will ne"Ver in the present generation be wholly lifted from the mountain town which has become so tragically historic; but the town itself within twelvemonths from now will doubtless be as far renovated and rebuilt as to present few, it any, material evidences of the awful disaster. STORKS AND OVERHEAD WEEES. One of the incidents of the storm on the Atlantic coast gives an additional argument in favor of a general practice of putting the electric wires under ground. As is nearly always the case in storms of more than ordinary force, the wires were broken and telegraphic communication was sus pended. In New York this very usual result, in the streets where the overhead wires have been left, was contrasted with the entire absence of trouble with those in the subways. There was an actual and' ma terial saving of expense and interruption wherever the wires had been buried; and for it the telegraph companies have to thank the officials who forced them 'to put their wires in the subway against their wills. This example is not only conclusive as to the plan of underground wires in cities, but it raises the question whether the burial of telegraph cables throughout the rural sec tions would not, in the end, be more econ omical than the overland system. It would cost more in the first instance unquestion ably; but tbe avoidance of constant inter ruptions and loss ofibusiness by wind-storms and rains in the summer, and by blizzards in the winter, would overbalance the en hanced cost very soon. It is certainly to be hoped that, after a few more illustrations of the practicability and superiority of underground wires, Pitts burg will take tome steos in earnest toward relieving her streets of the masts and over head wires that are now their most conspicu ous disfigurements. AN AGREEMENT REQUIRED. There is a certain lack of harmony among the statements as to the circumstances under which Commissioner Tanner's resignation was presented, which is perhaps a natural result of the dissonance in ideas which pre ceded that event. Private Secretary Hal ford asserts that "no issue was ever made by Secretary Koble as to whether he or Mr. Tanner should go," and again, "ihe ques tion was. not at all in the President's mind whether one of two persons should go." On the other hand the Corporal, on whose com municativeness there is now no official re straint, states that the President said "that if I remained in office Secretary Noble would resign," and because "the dismem berment of a Cabinet is a very serious thing," the Corporal handed in his resigna tion. The hiatus between these two state ments, from what might be supposed to be authoritative sources, furnishes a justifica tion of the policy of putting padlocks on the mouthpieces of the Administration, at least until it is certain that they will tell the same story. EETDEN OF THE FILGBIM8. Americans are coming home in veritable legions from England, Prance, Germany, Mesopotamia, froln the country beyond Tyre and Sidon, from all oyer the world, in fact. Most of them are already landed, though the westward procession will con tinue till Christmas. They are bringing, or have brought, with them much merchan dise, trunks full of mementoes of travel, and a valuable assortment Of new ideas. The last outweigh in real worth all the gewgaws from Paris, the pottery from Borne, the trousers from London, the silks from Lyons, and the remnante of mummies from the banks of the Nile. Ideas are hard to get in the routine of toil or play within the limits of life at home. It is good to search for them abroad, using that nord to mean any place beyond our customary walk from day to day. America can teach the rest of'th world more, perhaps, than the older countries can teach her. Still there is an abundance of knowledge, of practical doings in art and industry, for Americans to acquire and ob serve in the Old World. It is good for America to know her neighbors, to visit them, to learn the sources of their strength or weakness, just as it is good for the lands of a longer past to make the acquaintance of the Young Giant of the West, and behold tho achievements of the greatest Bcpublic the world has evcrseeu. In 1892 foreigners will find within onr borders many fruitsof the great pilgrimage made by Americans to Europe in this year of grace. ft. A BIT OF SOUTHERN JUSTICE. A policeman in a Southern town is re quired to make nice discriminations in the discharge of his duty. How he treats the colored race does not seem to matter in the least, but his bearing toward white crimi nals, especially if they belong to the First Families, must be respectful and forbearing. There has been a singular exemplification of this in the town of Anniston, Alabama, recently. Captain William Pelham, brother of "the gallant Pelham" of the Confederacy, who had grorn ugly in his cups, encoun tered Marshal Stallings, representative of of the Anniston police force. The gallant Captain Pelham was advanoing with the playful intent of shooting Marshal Stallings when the latter shot the member of a First Family dead. Apparently the deed was considered so manifestly to have been done in self-defense that the law was not invoked to pun ish the policeman for his sacrilegious act. But the social law, unwritten bat omnipo tent, took charge of the Marshal. It com pelled him to publish a card in which in ludicrously solemn terms he swears that he will leave Anniston and the vicinity never to return, that he will revere the memory of the man he shot, and of his sisters and his cousins and his aunts, and that "it ever in the years to come I shall meet John Pelham I will get out of his way". The correspon dent who tells the story says naively: "It is well known that the members of the Pel ham family would not permit Stallings to stay where they would have to see him, and that their permission for Stallings to leave is a compromise reached after much nego tiation." What a gracious society there must be in Anniston. Observe with what gentle for bearance it permits an officer of the law to go into exile for doing his duty and daring to save his own life. Marshal Stallings may thank his stars that his skin is not black. Had he been a negro a rope and a short shrift would have been his reward. Mb. Chaeles A. Dana is' reported as about to start for Europe. Whether he hopes to discover there the site for a World's Fair or the money to build one, is among the interesting pieces of information that are withheld. The completion of a new 36-inch main from the city to the gas districts, together with the information credited to an official of the natural gas company that only one fifth as many manufacturers are using gas as heretofore, ought to enable the company to make it an object to domestic consumers to use gas by meter. This can be effected by charging a low rate per thousand feet. Talk of a decreased supply of gas is also credited to a corporation official; but the best answer to that, is the work now going on of putting down the largest and most expensive gas main ever laid between this city and the gas wells. The Brotherhood of Baseball Players proposes to form a trust. If this organiza tion adopts the regulation trust policy and proceeds to restrict the production of base ball players it may be a blessing in disguise. Oxe of the beauties of the trust business was illustrated by a report which was heard in Wall street the other day, that the Lead Trust has piled on another $15,000,000 ad dition to its capital stock. There are a number of "official statements" in denial of the report; but somehow the public did not seem to place much faith in the denials. Investors are beginning to perceive the true inwardness of the fact that it is as easy for the trust to tell fibs about it as to water their stock; and, vice.vcrsa, the swelling of the dropsical total "is as easy as lying." After the example of Tanner, it is per tinent to suggest that it would be money in the pocket ot the Republican party if some one could put a muzzle on the too active mouth of John James Ingalls. Commenting upon Governor Abbett's political ambitions in New Jersey, the Cin cinnati Commercial Gazette says: "Ab bett is represented as a great organizer and campaigner, but is overmatched in this ac complishment by the Bepublican champion, ex-Senator Sewell." But does it never occur to the esteemed Commercial Gazette that Sewell's victories over Abbett are due exactly to the same class of influences which our cotemporary is making such a vigorous warfare upon, as having secured the victory of Senator Payne. The Phcenix Part murderer who claims his release from prison as the price of the testimony against Parnell, has a strong claim on the British Government. Is not the laborer worthy of his hire? New- York is reported as undertaking the task of trying some vote buyers. But no one thinks that the District Attorney of that great city will make any serious efforts to convict the vote buyers and thus interfere with the free flow of one of the principal sources of revenue of the people who put him there. The Belief Commission's order of an other distribution of $1,600,000 will place the greater part of the contributions of the people in the hands ot the sufferers, four months after the disaster. Wrxn all sympathy to the stricken peo ple of Johnstown, and all desire that the relief fund shall be promptly and fully ap plied, it is necessary to suggest that a com munity which can support fifty-one saloons, and cannot support public schools is in need of prompt and radical reformation., Tiie total cost and loss of the Haytian civil war is stated at $10,000,000. This ought to convince the Haytians that it is much bet ter to quit raising insurrections and go to raising sugar. Wyomino Territory is now struggl ing with the task of drafting a constitution. The labor may be an instructive ono; but nevertheless the fact sticks out from the situation in Wyoming that the ambitious Territory needs to get a population before it enjoys a constitution. That window glass strike was very stub born in the index, but it made a mild and edifying conclusion in the last chapter. The putting of workmen in the factories on double turn and the steady upward ten dency of the iron market indicate that if Pittsburg is not on the eve of a boom she is certain of enjoyment of a period of steady and satisfactory prosperity. riRSOXAL FACTS AND FANCIES. Private Secretaey Haxfobd's Illness is said to be dne to over-indulgence in cigars. Sir John E. Millais has spent his vacation tbis year chiefly In salmon fishing, in which ho is an expert. E. D. Bi.ackhore, the English novelist who gained immortality by writing "Lorna Doone," is growing old and now devotes most of his time to tending his garden. The White Cross University of Science has decorated George w. Childs, James Gordon Bennett. Thomas A Edison, John W. Mackay, Cyras W. Field and 'William W. HubbelU Ernest Benzon, "tbe JUbllee Plunger," whose book on how he squandered over 81,000, 000 in two years is having s run in England, says that the worst form of gambling consists in betting on cards. The following sentence, from a letter written by Livingstone short time before his death, and which refers to slavery, is inscribed on his tomb In Westminster Abbey: "All 1 can add in my loneliness is, may heaven's rich blessings come down on everyone, Amerioan, English or Turk, who will help to heal the open sore of the world." THE TOPICAL TALKER. How a Brass Band Mar be Carried la a Cont Pocket Parlor Concerts A Coin cidence Tho Boat Race Referee. Science and frivolity have lain down togeth erthe subtlest machine the brain and hand of man have evolved has been led out for a dance by Madamoiselle Fashion. In plain En glish, society has taken up the phonograph. Here and elsewhere it is now the very proper est thing to invite one's friends to spend an evening with the phonograph. The phono graph, as it is generally known to business is not sufficiently cquipt to move in full dress society, but Mr. Edison has been equal to the emergency. In a hail attached to Mr. Edison's laboratory at Llewellyn Park, Orange, N.J , jou might hear any afternoon you chose ono qf the crack bands of New York playing the latest popular airs apparently for their own diversion or prac tice. Nobody, save one or two of Mr. Edison's employes, are present. In place of a living and breathing audience there are ranged about tho hall a number of phonographs whirling away under the influence of an electric engine. Each phonograph has on its biggest-Bized ear a wide-flaring-funnel of tin. They are most attentive listeners, and each phonograph inscribes upon its waxy cylinder every note it hears. 'Ihe deep growl of the basses, the shrill shriek of tho picolos, the alarum of the cornets, the soft harmonics of the flutes, and every atom of music in short as it comes from tho playors, all float into tho gaping funnels and are cut into the cylinders with per fect accuracy. V As each number is finished by the band the wax cylinders are taken from tbe phonographs and set aside, while new ones are fltted on in their places. Then another tune is started and the same process of sound preservation is repeat ed until a good-sized concert has been stowed away in wax. The cylinders are marked with little paper tags inscribed with the name of the air. Further for the identification of the musical cylinders as a preface to tho perform ance of the band, the conductor or someone else with a big voice, announces tbe name of the piece, and all tbo phonographs make a note of it automatically. These cylinders are packed up and sent to the various depots from which phonographs are distributed. Anyone who owns a phono graph can buy ono or a hundred of these pocket brass bands. It becomes easy to give a full brass band concert in the smallest drawing room imaginable without the least In convenience. Thus It has come to pass that society has taken up the phonograph. Phouo graph band parties are the style, and inquiry at phonograph headquarters yesterday re vealed the fact that dozens of well-known Pittsburgers are indulging in band concerts at home. Sounds strange, doesn't it, to hear of a man carrying home a brass band of a hundred pieces in his coat pocket? That's what many a man is doing. V Talklncj of phonographs, Mr. Polk, tho well-known actor, introduces ono in his now play, '-The Silent Partner," in a most ridiculous Vay. It is always in tbe room when the villain falls to talking about his malicious plots and awful deeds, and the phonograph is supposed to record these tell-tale soliloquies and reveal them In the nick of time to discomfit tbe bad, bold man. This has a humorous look, but, if the audience happens to know anything about the phonograph,, the laugh will be on the author. For, of course, it is utterly impossible for a phonograph to record sounds unless it be set in motion by some human agency. Neither can it catch correctly the speech of man unless he talks into it that is, where the big receptive funnel is not used, and in Folk's play it is not. It has been proved down at the Exposition that the number of receivers that can be at tached to one phonograph is practically illimit able. Eight or ten persons hear the same con versation, pieco of music or what not from one instrument. Of course this makes the enjoy ment of a concert such as I have spoken of full and complete to the whole company present. The rather dry discourses descriptive of the phonograph which the machines at the Expo sition doled out at first to the crowd of visitors were not appreciated by the majority. A change has therefore been made. Cylinders full of jocular remarks, imitations of dogs and cats, and stump orations have been substituted wits immediate success. The familiar jests and talk strike a sympathetic chord in the hearts of the rural visitors particularly. V Was it merely a curious coincidence or had it a prophetic meaning? When a certain well-known attorney entered the cafe of the Monongabela House at lunch time yesterday he saw seated at ono table, John S. Bobb. W. D. Porter and B, H. John ston. , "There," said he, "is the District Attorney ot Allegheny county past, present and future," and the remark drew upon tbe trio an amount of attention they did not understand or per haps altogether appreciate. THE BOAT RACE REFEREE. I would not mind so much, you know, A baseball umpire's suit to fill 'TIS true his lot Is full of woe, And players kick and sometimes kill- But, oh! I'd rather never be A hunted boat race referee. A hangman has an ugly place. The scaffold Is a sorry stage. But I would rather have his case. And drive Death's dismal equipage Than cursed from post to pillar be, A basted boat race referee. The Czar sits on a powder keg. And treason sniffs In every breeze, "Within the grave he has a leg, And yettoznounthls throne would please Me more than that poor man to be They call a boat race referee. HEPBurcf Johns. LIKE A PIRATE-SHIP. A Queer Looking Craft, Half of Mexico's Navy, In New York. New York, September 11 A strange look ing craft was to be seen lying over on tho Red Hook anchorage all day yesterday. She was of a type seldom seen in these days, but one that was common to tbe men who blockaded the Southern ports during the last war. The vessel in question has all the appearance of a block ade runner. She is comparatively low in tbe water, is of iron, has side wheels, and is schooner rigged. She is ostensibly a peaceful merchantman, but in reality a Mexican man-of-war. and, if properly battened, would be a really formidable craft against wooden vessels possessing little speed. Tho Merida is the name of tbe vessel, and she Is bound for Procrcso as soon as tbo weather, will permit her to proceed in safety. The Merida until recently has been engaged in the West India trade, running among fie various islands. Until thus engaged she flew the En glish flag, and It is plain to see that she is En glish in build. She has an English saf line mas ter and an English engineer. Not long ago tho Merida came North, visiting Now York for the nrst time, quo was iai;en up into uowanns creek, put in tho hands of constructors, and rapidly altered. A couple of days ago several Mexicans took possession of her, got a crew aboard, put an English sailing master over them, and hauled tho craft out Into tbe bay. Ever since tho Merida has been up in tho Gowanus creek she has excited the Interest of tugboat men and others running; about tbe harbor. Yesterday her real character wasjlis covered when it was lound that Admiral Pinto, of tbe Mexican Navy, was on board. It was hinted yesterday that tbo Merida was bent on some smuggling mission, and that she had too much the air of a racer to be destined for any warlike purposes. The Mexican naval establishment consists of two small barks, neither one of them bemjr over ISO tons in displacement, Tbey rarely stir out ot era Cruz harbor, though one did attend the new urieans exposition. EDBBEE TEEECDLTDKE. To Encourage tbe Industry Mexico WW Par a Bounty. . Crrr or Mexico, September It The Gov ernment has granted a concession for rubber tree culture in tbe State of Oaxaca, paying 3 cents per tree planted, and permitting the free entrance of all needed machinery and appli. ances. The concessionaires must plant 1,000,000 trees the first vear and each succeeding year L 050,000 till 15,000,000 are planted. A company with a capital of 1,000,000 is to be organized to carry this concession into effect. Six years are required for the rubber tree to come to maturity, after which the yield ot rub- kber is steady. ainrrlrd After His Sixth Divorce.' Lapobte, Inp.. Bebwmher 14. a E. Morris, a prominent citizen of this county, to-day ob tained his sixth decree of divorce in the Circuit Court, and was at once remarried .to Miss Reese Culbertson, a young girl of sweet 16. Morris' age is 65. TITLES IN TEADE. The Aristocracy Stnud no Longer Atoor From It nnn Unclean Thine;. New York Commercial Advertiser. The present state of things in England has the tendency to segregate society into two classes; one a small body of capitalists, and the other a numerous section of the community which must always remain the servants of the former, with no nope of improving their social condition. In fact, as Sir Charles Beade said: "The scope of the economic laws in force at the present day in this country is tb-render the rich richer, and the poor poorer." One sign of the times Is the circumstance that the barriers of caste are being especially broken down, in one respedt, in a manner, which, only a quarter of a century ago, were seldom overleaped. Then, the aristocracy and landed gentry stood aloof from trade as an "un clean thine." Now the Duke of Argyle has three sons in business in London; the Earl of Talbot and Shrewsbury a descendant ot that Talbot who figures in Shakespeare, and who was a distinguished leader during the wars In the time of Henry VL is a cab proprietor; the Marquis of Londonderry has a shop where coal is sold at retail; the Duke of Fife who has just married the daughter of the Priuceof Wales Is a partner in a bank, and two ladies of rank havo recently opened a large millinery establishment In Regent street. Besides these there are many members of the aristocracy who, although their names do not appear over the' shops, are well known to be "sleeping partners" in various firms. At the present time w. H. Smith, Secretary of War, is the individual who is the proprietor of the bookstalls at all the railway stations. In con nection with that fact an anecdote is related to this effect: At the last Parliamentary election, in ono of ine rural uistncts, a norist offered himself as a candidate. One ot the circulars was addressed to the vicar of tho villa-re, who, in reply to the application for his vote, wrote a letter, in which he said: "lam surprised tnat a person in yoor position should have the impertinence to offer himself as a candidate for a seat in the Legislature." To this communication the re joinder was: "I simply asDireto the sjmniio. .htical position as that which is already occu pied By tne person wno Keeps tho bookstall in this place." Tho logic of this retort was so palpable that the reverend gentleman thought it unadvlsable to prolong the discussion. In deed, Parliament is no longer composed, exclusively, of members of the upper classes, as was the case when unless a man possessed an income of 300 per annum, derived from landed property, ho was not eligible for elec tion. A PESSIMIST'S LIFE. Ho Docs Not Commit Snlcide Because of Life's Wortlilesincss. Ifrom the New York Sun.l Undoubtedly life is not worth the living, so far as society is concerned, nuless it is made useful; if it is selfish, and employed for seif indulgenco only. It is also squandered if it is spent in self-pity. The pessimists are usually tbe people who think too much about them selves, who have an exaggerated conception of their own importance, and who imagine that they .ire separated from the rest of the world by greater fineness of fiber, and a superiority of organization which unfits them for the struggles in which ordinary mortals are en gaged. Of course there is a pessimism which is as much a, mental ana moral disease as melan cholia, to which it bears close likness; and liko melancholia it affects its victims with out regard to their reasonable grounds for happiness and hopefulness. Then, again, there are vain and silly young men who pretend to .Dessimism simply to at tract attention. But the real, and genuine, and sane pessimist is usually a man of a senti mental temperament, with a more or less mor bid physical organization, who has leisure for Introspection, and who has tried in vain to get satisfaction from the material abundance of which he is possessed. The enre for it, the sovereign cure, is to set the invalid to work, so that he shall foiget himself, and to indnce him to spend his sympathies on others rather than himself. Of course, this pessimism in all except its in sane manifestations is a mere fancy, a manu factured state of mind. It is a whim, or it may be nothing more than a symptom of transitory bodily ailment depressing to the spirits. Bane pessimists do not commit suicide because of their sense of the worthlessness of life. They marry and propagate life, hateful and burden sqme though they regard it. They are as anxious as other people to live long, and death has the same terrors for them. Tbe truth Is that tbey do not really believe what they think they believe. So far from being convinced of tbe worthlessness of life, every day shows that they hold it of supreme value. If there was an elixir ot life obtainable, they would be the first to rush for ItT A MOUNTAINEER'S CDKIOSITI Leads Him to Onklnnd to See tho President and the Electric Lights. Oakland, Ms., September il A very amus ing: incident that occurred a day or two ago at the Executive cottage was heartily enjoyed by the President's family, and Is told as follows: Court is in session over at Oakland, the county seat of Garrett county, about six miles from tbis place, and a number of the country people in attendance upon the court have come over here for the purpose of seeing the President. Among the number wa3 an old fellow named Paul Beacby. residing about 30 miles back in the mountains, who said he had come here to see tbe eleotric lights and the President. The Executive cottage was pointed out to him, and away he went in search of the Presi dent. Arriving at the cottage his courage failed him, and he stood for some time gazing toward tbe bouse undetermined whether to venture in. Finally be summoned up courage to march up to the door and give a vigorous knock. Mrs. McKee, who had been an amused spectator of what had occurred outside, an swered the knock in person. Ihe old man, al most overwhelmed with embarrassment, man aged to ask. "Is tbe President at home ?" "No." said Mrs. McKee, kindly, "bnt I am the President's daughter." "Well," said Beachy, "I want to shake the hand of the President's daughter" which privilege was accorded him. Mrs. Harrison learning what was going on, camo out and also shook hands with tbe old man, who was so delighted that he is waiting in the neighborhood for tbe President's return in order to see what manner of man he is. KEDNITED BI A CHILD'S DEATH. Litigants In n Divorce Caso Decide to Llvo Together Again. Greencastle, Ind., September 11 A pe culiar ending of divorce suit is reported from Fillmore, this county. Tho wife of Mr. F. M. Iddings, of that vicinity, left home with her children during the month of December, while her husband was attending a meeting of the Masonic lodge. No trace could be found of her until it was learned that she had gone to Frankfort, where her father resides, and w here she instituted suit for divorce. Last week she returned to this county for tho purpose of taking depositions to be used in tbe trial of the case. Meanwhile one of the children had taken sick, and the father being notified, reached ltd bedside on Sundav. just before tbe little one died There be met his wife, and the sad scene can be better Imagined than told. The depositions in the case were to have been taken at Fillmore ono day this week, at which time the parties, witnesses and attorneys wero E resent, but the great sorrow of the parents ad tho effect of awakening reflections that led to a compromise of their differences, and by the consent of all parties tbe suit was with drawn. The busband and wife will bring their remaining children home again and live to gether as of old. A NEST OP SNAKEs'dISTDKBED. Fifteen Rattlers Found Under a Board nnd Quickly telanglitered. Mabioi O., September 14. While Harry and James Clark, living five miles northeast of Marion, were crossing tbe James Lickins farm, one of tbem stepped on a plank, when a warning rattle was Bounded. Preparations were made and tbe planK turned over, when 15 ugly rat tlers were discovered. Onslaught was made and the entire nnmher killed. Two ' 'le snakes were very large for rattlers, while 13 of them were less than IS inches long. Electric Light Wires nnd Umbrellas. From the New York Tribune. 1 And now a man over in New Jersey has been knocked down by an electric shock received by his umbrella coming in contact with a low hanging wire charged by an electric light cur rent. The obvious moral is that until the wires are put underground umbrellas must be left at home when It storms, or else carefully carried without being raised. ) Ono Thing He's Not Guilty Of. from to Chicago Inter Ocean.) If John L. Sullivan should be Indicted for modesty he would never be convicted. CHAEITY IN THE CHURCH, i Quarrels Among: Conereentions and Their Wofal Results A Few Examples of Re-' liglons Ib toleration' at Home and Abroad A Noted Clergyman's Words. rwBinxx ron the dispatch.! It appears from reports in recent numbers of The Dispatch that two prominent East End churches are agitated by widely different ques tions tobacco and music A pastor who has been doing a successful work In reviving a church which for a number of years has been under financial cloud, feels constrained to re sign because some of his flock are aggrieved at his use of tbe weed. Rev. Mr. Hammond is In good company, for tbe leading light of his de nomination, Spurgeon, said a few years ago that he could smolco a good cigar to the glory of God at the close of his exhaustive Sunday work. Wbile there is no serious trouble anticipated over the introduction of the pipe organ into the U. P. Church of East Liberty, It would not be true to say that there is not some opposition to the movement In the congregation. Ono. lead ing elder has already cast his lot with an anti organ church, in view of this step, and other members are not entirely harmonious. When Brethren Dlsngree. Said an experienced church official recently: "I have learned to dread these sauabbles in the church, for they seldom heal. I know of alien ations produced in this way more than a half century ago atid the sores then made have left their scars. Business men have their differ ences, but can agree to differ and keep up fra ternal business relations after their little spats and swears. But when a first-class fight gets into a church, tbe trouble is long in healing. Men can adjust their dif ficulties much easier than women, and you know that the latter are largely in the ma jority in tne ennrcnes." A minister whose pastoral work lies not in this region and whose name will not be guessed, by Dispatch readers, said: "I once bad a very painful experience of tbe truth of Row land Hill's tfords. namelv. that 'if the devil couldn't get into tbe church in any other way he could most certainly get in by tbe organ loft.' I was at one time pastor of a church which was apparently as prosperous as it well could be. My congregation were united and enthusiastic. An elegant organ was put into tbe church, and it was productive ot anything but harmony. ( An Inhnrmonlous Choir. "A choir trouble started in which I became involved in spite of the greatest caution. My church, from a condition of harmony and en thusiasm for the Master's work, became in volved in a regular Kilkenny fight over the proper person to lead the music. We had music that was far from harmonious. I tried every way to steer clear of the trouble, but it was a vain effort. The upshot of it all was that I found it best to seek another field ot labor. The troubles started then are not to this day healed." It was not long ago that a faithful, sensitive, noble-hearted pastor's wife in a church of ono of the Western States fell ill and passed to her long home, because of a trouble in which her husband became involved. "Alas, for the rarity of Christian charity under the sun." Veryfewof the troubles that divide churches and break the hearts of ministers and their wives ever come to the surface. A Plea for Toleration. A great writer, the greatest of this age, in a plea for charity and toleration, has given ex pression to a sentiment which should be en graven on all beans. The man was called an unbeiiever,;andyeth!s words are a rebuke to multitudes of believers. These are his words: "It is unworthy a religious man to view an ir religious man with alarm or aversion or any other feeling than regret and hope and broth erly commiseration. If he seek truth Is not our brother to be pitied? If be do not seek truth is be not to be pitted still more? Who would not sigh over the thin delusions and foolish toys that divide heart from heart and make man unmerciful to his brother." London's Greatest Proncher. It is announced that the Rev. Stopford Brooke, of London, will, some Sunday this fall, occupy Plymouth pulpit, Brooklyn. This announcement started a train of reflections, which are here jotted down. Stopford Brooke came into prominence in the literary world many years ago as the biographer of Frederic Robertson, England's greatest preacher, and for that matter Christendom's greatest preacher. An enthusiastic admirer and disciple of. Rob ertson, Brooke, who at tbe time of Robertson's death was a young clergyman of the English Church, performed a labor of love in furnish ing a biography of bis master which is one of the best things in this line in the English lan guage. No man can read the "Life and Letters of Frederic RoDertson" and fail to nnu therein an intellectual and spiritual tonic. Stopford Brooke has for a .quarter of a cen tury or more beeb rector of one of the London churches, and has been in that period one of the leading lights of the Broad Church party. Though he has not reached the prominence of Robertson or those other great London preachers, Spurgeon and Parker, Brooke Is to day recognized by the best thought of England as tbe foremost preacher of the times. There Is not a particle of the sensational in his com position. His congregations in London,have never been large, but have been made up of a highly intelligent class. Brooke's Literary Work. A few volumes of his sermons, which have been published, are fully up to the standard of his master, Robertson. His lectures on poetry are among the choicest literary productions of the English language. A few years ago Mr. Brooke announced to his London congregation that he had ceased to believe in the superna tural, and no longer accepted the orthodox view on miracles or Inspiration. On making tbe announcement of his changed views, be withdrew from the Established Church of England, and for the past few years has been what might De termed an independent Episcopalian. His flock did not forsake him when he became independent and though small, is composed of some of tbe leading lights of London. 1: H. Y. SEA BATHING FOR CHILDREN. The Common Custom of Ducking Them Con demned Use Persuasive Methods. There is In connection with sea bathing, ob serves the Lancet, one point in particular to wblch we would direct attention. A cotempo rary writes a,t some length in condemnation of the common custom of ducking and forcibly bathing young children in the sea. He objects to this, not unreasonably, on tbe ground that the beneficial effect of batblng depends chiefly on its influence as a cardiac tonic. Tbis ad vantage, he observe, is largely discounted by nervous depression when a child, already scared at the sight of what seems a wild waste of water, is further terrified by rough-and-ready Immersion. There is truth in his argument that there need be no difficulty In bathing even such children if their education in tbe art be carried out by more persuasive methods. In cases of this kind any known constitutional timidity should have ample consideration. At the same timo it is most necessary to distin guish between this and mere passionate disin clination. In the latter case a disappointment of the will Is itself a useful lesson In obedience. More than this, there are even children of naturally diffident character, but otherwise healthy, for whom a prescribed sea bath under moderately rigorous management provides an ultimately useful tonic In all such cases much will de pend upon tbe judgment of the persons Im mediately responsible. It follows, from the abovo remarks, that any who may be thus placed should study closely the characters ot their children, and guide their conduct accord ingly. A.STORY BY WIRE. He worked in a telegraph office up North, And In handling tbe ticker excelled as a star; And the sign that bo put on each message to tell By whom ' twas received or was sent was "A JU' ' And she sat at a desk In an office down South, Ana handled tbe ticker as deftly as he With a hand that would canse any senlptor to smile, "She would write on a message, "Received by DE." One morning a messago Sew over the line. To his town In the North, from her's down BoutU so far. As it came he received it, and -when he had done. Wrote, "Sent by O E and received by A B." Then his eyes caught the letters-he loosed at them, smiled. And said to himself, "I declare, this Is queer. These letters arc strange" (lust a moment he paused), "'DE'and 'A B,' why, by Jovo, that spells DKAK!" A proposal by telegraph's noel, at least. But tbat is what followed. In less than a year Tbey resigned their positions. They're married, and live In well, near New York, andtheybotharenow "DEAB." -tf. IT. Evtning Sun. 1 .i?T - 'SkLa. - HTi ihi I'isf nfi " ''" J.:h:,,A ...-.sfcssB OTs'rraM&nuoTHAi. Old Eooagh to be His Mother, t jrarw toex sunixr spxcui.s.'', N EW YORK, September K-Bety SeJdHtoa, 30 years old, had Charles Cobn, a beardless boy of 16 years, arraigned in court to-day for breach of promise. She told the Justice how Charles had courted her, and won her and deceived her. Young Cobn, when called to the bar, said Betsy was old enough to know better than to allow herself to be led astray. The, Justice looked the small boy over, said he thought so", too, and discharged him. Gono to Europe Again. Charles A Dana sailed for Europe on tho steamship La Champagne this morning. He was accompanied by Mra.Dana and hh grand child. Miss Emma LDana. He will remain abroad about lour months. He will pass most of his time in Paris and Spain, and will prob ably take a flying trip to Egypt. Mr. Dana his De en abroad three times in tbe last two years The Marriage Was Delayed. Wm. Christian Strublne, 28 years old, and Maria Cox mier, 21 years old, arrived here from Hamburg to-day on tbo steamship Augusta Victoria. When they got to Castle Garden they asked to be married. While a clergy man was beinglookedup a cablegram was re ceived from Herr Coxmier. in Germany, for bidding tbe bans. Maria then eonfessed that she had eloped with young Strublne, who was formerly a laborer on her father's farm. As Maria Is of age, the Castle Garden authorities have decided to let her become Mrs. Strublne to-morrow, in case nothing; more is heard from Papa Coxmier. Oyster Beds Nearly Pained. The wholesale oystermen on West street say that the planters have snstalned a loss of nearly $2,000,000. Owing to tbe storm this week, many of tbo planters have suddenly and most unexpectedly been forced out of busi ness, and into bankruptcy, by the change in the weather. James W. Bpjla says that all the oyster beds on the Great Kills, the so-called m iddle grounds at Oyster Bay, and thebeds on the sand bars in Jamaica bay and Rockaway are almost all mined and the stock a total loss. On many of the beds, which are located in the creeks and inlets, the so-called sea lettuce is from two to three feet deet deep, and the cost of removing it will equal the value of the oysters. Over 1.000 oyster openers have been idle for three days, waiting forthe arrival of the oyster boats, but they will probably wait in vain.' Only three boats have arrived this week. Locked Up for Manslaughter. Carl M. Olsen, tbe faith-curist charged with manslaughter, was locked up in Raymond street jail to-day, in default of 52,500 bail. He is charged with wilfully neglecting to follow tbe physician's order In tho' case of Martha Olsen, who, by the way, is not related to Mr. Olsen. Olsen protests bis innocence of all wrong doing, and describes himselfas "a car penter, like Christ." He says the only reason Miss Olsen died was because Christ wanted her, and that all the- medicine in tbe world could not have thwarted the Lord's will. CANNIBALI8M EXTBAOEDINAT. Fattening nndTeedlng Slaves UpLlkeAnl mals for lbs Table. from the London Globe. 1 Fattening slaves in a park, and feeding them up like animals destined for the table, and then leading them to 4 shambles where there ara slaughtered like oxen, cut into pieces, and shared, bit-by-btt among hungry cannibals such is tho practice which is permitted, accord ing to M. Fondese. a French explorer, in some of the French, Belgian, Portuguese, and even British territories in TJbanghi. M. Fondese was sent out three years ago by the French Government to discover the sources of the Niarlgulllon. and having re turned after tbe successful accomplishment of bis task, he hastens to tell bis countrymen all about the terrible things which be has seen in his travels. Tbe "fattening parks" or paddocks are, be says, to be seen in each village, and contain men and women who have been taken in war. Tbe poor wretches take their doom philosophically, and soma of them to whom M. Fondese offered freedom actually refused it. Tbey eat; drink, dance and sing until tbe head "Fetish-man" comes round, accompanied by an orchestra of tom-tom and tin-kettle players, selects a sufficiently fat specimen, carries him or her to the market place of tbe village, and splits bis or her head with a hatchet or, scythe like knife. The eyes and tongue of the victim are given to the "boss" f etisb, and, the rest of the body is divided among' tbe atrocious an thropophagi. M. Fondese, who has gone right through tbe heart of tbe African continent, has brought several interesting reports back, which he pro poses to read in a public meeting. Cardinal Lavigerle, th6 anti-slavery crusader, will un doubtedly find a new incentive in his philan thropic work after having heard tbe testimony of the new explorer. AN ANCIENT WINDING SHEET. After Being Used 172 Years It Goes at Last to ibe Grave. Richmond, Ind., September 11 Mrs. Cath erine Mary Wanker, who was burled in the German Lutheran Cemetery Tuesday after noon, was 96 years of age, and was bnried in a robe 172 years old, that had before done much service as a winding sheet. She was born at Forden, near Osnabrook, Kingdom of Hanover, Germany, November 13, 1793, and she andber busband came from tbeir native land to this city in ISIS. Sixteen years ago she had Mrs. Miller make her burial robe. This was made out of material woven by her grandfather 172 years ago, and intended and originally used for a winding sheet, or a sheet to cover tbe dead. It was utilized by a largo community, and covered tbe lifeless form of many a loved one. At first, when not in service, it was kept In the house of her grandfather, afterward in that of her father, and after his death in her own house. She brought it with her to America and kept it most sacredly. After having cov ered many dead bodies of those near and dear to ber, it at last cavers ber own form and is re turning to dust with ber own dust. Why He Loves It. ITrora the Philadelphia 1'rcss.r Tbe undertaker loves the Brown-Sequard elixir for the business it has made. TEI-STATE TRIFLES. C. R. Sexton, of Benezette, Pa., had a horse Dlttenby a rattlesnake recently. The horse died about a week later. The dudes ot Seranton, Pa., are drinking "corn beer," and they say it is real nice. Aiken TnoursoN. of Mercer. Pa., leads tbe egg stories. He says be has a hen,Laugsban and silver spangled Hamburg cross, that laid 222 eggs In as many successive days, with never a "cluck." At this stage of the game he was compelled to shut her up to save the tomatoes, and after a few days she kicked on production. At St. George, Tucker county, W. Va., a 9-rear-old son of John Stull fell into a kettle of boiling berries and was probably fatally scalded. George Goff, a blind man, an inmate of the Preston County, W. Va., Infirmary, picked and sold 301 gallons of blackberries this sum mer. A 4-year-old daughter of Isaac Cbaney, near Frankfort; Hardy county, W. Va, was bitten four times by a copperhead snake last Sunday week. She will recover. Railroad baggage agents in Ohio are both ered by homing bird enthusiasts, who ship pigeons to them and ask tbat they be released at a named time. Two women, each carrying a large rattle snake around ber waist, visted ConnellsvlllR, Pa., a few days ago", trying to secure a pur chaser for the reptiles. ' Emmanuel Moore, of Ashland, Pa., in -a drunken frenzy, kicked over tbe ice box in which his dsad child was laying, and was ar rested. After setting Are to a bed a Bcranton, Pa., 7-year-old took up a position on the fence to watch the house burn. His father warmed him for it. t ' ' A pioeon which cost J100 la owned by A B. HogEins. of Media, Pa. A quilt on exhibition at Bcranton, Pai sewed together with 7,2oq feet of silk. A pie-zatino matcn took place in Consho hocken, Pa., a few days ago, when the victor disposed ot six pies. chiious (mmmnmffg "While exaaiiuaffataMfcot' W u, s .Boston dealer feaada ssMftatsw ItN Mtf k concealed wrier the frafc. -V ' -A peMlr, gives a sighi'i k5gia tlfc week in a Cleveland poHea ttssMoa, MM ke'ww 92 years old, sad that ha bad waJk4 a Mm -way from WBUaaasport, Pa. - iw ' . A Moorish gentleman ride at W"5 friends at a gallop, shoots hi ptstai a laastes that ho ha dona everytbiaff taMMssMjof courtesy wMea eta bo expeotrt at Ja.f"7 Prof. Paul Wiegert, a oMssiagaisaed " German, figures tbat 7 cents wfcrta of feed wH keep a strong man la good form toss davits day. sad ttat we would all ha nnilssrii75sh.-V out BBoenrear or overcoats. JOftqnia Miller, who gave to the .' lent State of Idaho its name, says that HAi written ana spelled improperly. The soneot form Is Idflhho, with the accent on the lEMpe syllable. The aasM mtaat the UglK.e ate mosntaiae. iir?s A steer wMek .seem deetiaed te a tftM ufols exhibited at FfeaBeo, Md. It is i yeas old. H feet is Ieaeta, 17 bands hieh. and weicha 4000 pounds. Not eesteat with beteg a cariosity as to beljrtt, the steer has added the ltre at uuuoie joints m bis legs. Tbe Emperer of Gemaay reeeaWy.sea a specimen rise to the Sneerer of Aastria. the barrel ot which does net grew hoi. After 1M shots bad been fired the harret was seety Warm. The "laiinHn." vflSU. rU u In fc stocky and the "load" consists of 38 eartrif. l . i itcioauea in nve seeeaas, aa Maw, charge 60 shots a minute. k The following notice is nested la si eeaiT5' spicuous place In tbo Cedar Hsrlso. 'MhIl'- postofflce: "BurcbjEsmAug.theaB-SB.'BetJei ijveu mA. uc mholson at feuroas M ass at y ..r1,.'?"1 i,?6" oId to sell 1 first etas oew Of WhlCh-he Will sell f m- mk TVn-. k. . V .' stock is orderly the cow comas at eawHag as fart? rr-t . ir " T : """"""son.oBeTQ sua. stock at burchs mill." According to a decree published by the Minister of Education no clergyman eaa in Italy be an inspector or director ot a sehooL Tbisb based upon a recent law to the effect manae local control ot scaoots saeatdnein the hands of heads of families, who v would naturally take a deep interest In their wellare. " Of course, tho leading object is to oat tbe schools loose from clerical OTerjJgbtaadififla ence. An Ins-taaee of close figuring has come. tolightlnaa Areerfeaa city. A wesaa wasted some peas or dtener, ssad, ceaiag down town In tbe af ternootr, learned that they were 25 cents a half seek. After oonstdorttblo ajga mentshe succeeded la getttog tweqwrtsfer 12 cents, and the next moralBg, as the seeded a half peck, she came down town and get the other two quarts at the same priee. 8e saved r i cent. A remarkable orchid is exhibited i'a Baltimore florist's window. The pbwt'faJe" inches square. Pendant from it are 68 bteess. 4JM. each bloom three to four inches across, sad ot'g J? rwttlan vallnw ss3ii41im asV awa T1iF i sjuiuuu jsvn musuttij va vsvcnrsxio re scent is not agreeable.ln which reepeet 1 re?" sembles the slant lily receaHv shows is Lea-"' -don. Another carious eharaeteristte K pas-?' sesses is that for six months of the year it re quires no water whatever, and its bloom de pends upon its being kept perfectly dry tor this period. The firm of Ansaldo Bambini, In Ssm pierdareti, Italy bare recently completed fce colossal engine and boilers inteaded.for the Italian, ironclad Sicllia. The engine is con structed to work up to 19,500 horse-power, and it is the most powerful hitherto constructed ia Italy. It is constructed on the compound prte- -cipls, with eight cylinders and four surface condensers. It drives two four-armed serews, which hare a diameter of six meters. Tbe1 weight of tbe boilers is 00 tons, and the total weight of the engine and boilers Is L7J0 teas. The town of Szegedin, in Hungary, is threatened by another catastrophe. Its princi pal embankment, erected after the disastrous floods of 1879 at a cost of 2,000,000 florins, has collapsed, and Is found to require entire recon struction. It appears that tbe dam rests on marshy ground and has no proper foundation. This failure will bring much severe criticism on the Hungarian Government, who will be held responsible for the Dad engineering, as the works were executed under the control of Count Ludwig Tisza, the brother of the Prime Minister. "Old Jack.' Phipps, who died lately ia Fairfield, Connwas known as the modern Pied Piper of HameUn. He made a living by ' ridding houses of rats, and with hU ferrets' Inl l a box in one hand and several nets hi1thwUF other he was often seen on tbe strwtsoPtfcis rw" city. After leaving here he went to New York and then to Connecticut. His illness began two months ago, and all during it his faithful little ferrets were almost Inconsolable. His death seemed to break their hearts. They would not eat or drink, and early the other morning one of them, "Nellie," quietly breathed her last. A few hours later her brother. "Ted," went to join her in the ferrets' hereafter. The problem of the "battle of' life" has Just been solved in a most extraordinary man ner by three dames of a certain age sisters to .. all appearance, and comfortably endowed with ' this world's goods who resided in a pleasant villa at Le Vesinet For some reason hitherto unexplained they were weary of existence, and they determined to die together. The three sisters having previously provided themselves with a perfect arsenal of revolvers, set fire to their house on Mondav mornlne. Thev thecm the most methodical manner, bade each other a last farewell, and turned their weapons against themselves. In two cases the snots were fired with fatal effect, two of the sisters falling to tbe ground mortally wounded. The third inflicted severe In Junes on herself, but hopes of her recovery are entertained. Some ' passers-by, perceiving smoke issuing from, tbe villa, ran in and found tbe two corpses, while tbe third sister was seen lying Insensible on the floor. Tbe inhabitants seem utterly at a loss to account for this extraordinary tragedy, which has naturally caused intense excitement in tbe neighborhood. The whole thing was manifestly planned with deliberation, care being taken to kill a horse and dog, both old favorites. WHAT WILD WITS ARE SAYING. "Kewspaper men have a right to be proud." Well yes. Handling the paste-pot Is apt to make 'em a little stuck up. Florida Tints Union. "What sort of a fellow are you?" spoke" the hub to tbe wheel, "that you are always" strongest when you are tired." Mngliamtony Republican. Editor Tes, my dear fellow, by all means write Just as much as you want. But don't print anything, for if you do you wIU be found fault with." FlitQtndt Blactter. Little Elsie O, take mo wo, mamma. It'ssomuddr." Mamma Walk across, that's a good girL Mamma has all she can do to carry poor Fldo. Life. Honors Were Easy. "James, you have been fighting. I can tell it by the look a your eye." "Yes; but, mother, you should see the look In the other boy's eye." Life, A Natural Mistake. Little Brother (bed; time) "Why don't you take your stockings off? " , Little Sister (whose motber burs the cheap black kind) I's dot all of 'em off 'at will come off. Ai York Witxly. AN EPITAPH. Little Johnnie Say lies here, He neither cries nor frets: He Just bad reached his thirteenth year Cigarettes. Boston Courier. Needs a Best Wile (who never lets her husband forget that she Is doing the housework) My poor hands nave been working ever since I've been married. Husband I know your poor tonzue has. Jipocb. His Thoughts Were Elsewhere. Barber Close sbave, sir? lllgsby (thinking or something ftr different) You bet It waj 1 1 bad hardly dodged the old man's foot when the dog made a spring for me, and if I hadn't O, excuse met Ho, Just go over It once. New lork Sun. A Reasonable Inference. Johnnie Cumso Was Solomon a baseball umpire, par Mr. Cumso No,. Johnnie; what made you ask tbat? Johnnie I heard the minister say something about tbe Judgment of Solomon. Units' Jfajo line. Ready to Help Out. Moneybags Ton say you wish to marry my daughter? Well, you know I have three, and on the mairlage or each I shall give ber husband 110,000. Which one doyoa want? Jack Nspes-I'U tell you what we'll do. You'll move out to Utah, and I'll take all three of them oil your hands. I'm willing todo the square thing. 2cw XorkSwA. TORTTTNE JUtVJCB. DIES. What's the use of chasing fortune! Fortune never dies. , Have yunr grief, but never grievance. Waste no time In sighs. Everything will come to you. Tbe world will bet ter bo For rivers only ran oao way, and ever toward ; the sea. Once a Wuk. J:, m A- 1 jf F. fr TysgE' &. fc' SgSg ?4 .&&m&m -' -Manirif 0htkm$