sHMMMiVMpWPmTMMfflHHMPPHHf
-7 TT
T 17T9'
'V J';.''w"?';
-jgST
'-i
THE PITTSBURG ' DISPATCH, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 14,' 1889.
' $.-x
H"Mf '-rv-- ' J
TtiG PittBteirg Dispatch
01 to morrow will be, as its Sunday edition al
ways is, a remarkable paper. Its special cable
service has become almost a necessity in many
homes, and its magnificent literary supplement
would bo greatly missed in thousands of fami
lies, should Mr, Wanamaker's subordinates fail
to deliver tbe mails upon Sunday or the trains
neglect to do their share in distributing the
mammoth edition.
A French-American novelette by the famous
actress, Sara Bernhardt, supplies the fiction of
to-morrow's issue. The characters of the story
are peculiarly named, and tbe plot is peculiarly
brought out. The various special articles in
this number are all bright, and make, alto
gether, tbe paper you want to read to-morrow,
THE SflHDAY DISPATCH.
Mje Bi&m&fr
trsrAHT.TKHED FEBRUARY 8, 1S46.
Vol.44. .No. 219. -Entered at nttsburg Postoffice,
November 14, JSS7. as second-class matter.
Business Offlce-97 and 99 Fifth Avenue,
News Booms and Publishing House 76,
77 and 79 Diamond Street
Eastern Advertising Office, Koom , ;rrlbune
Building, New York.
ATcrafre net circulation of the dally edition or
The Dispatch for six months ending August SI,
1SS9 as sworn to before City Controller,
30,045
Copies per lsue.
Average net circulation or the Sunday edition of
Tni DrsrATCHfor three months ending August
31. ISS3.
55,643
Copies per Issue.
TERMS OF THE DISPATCH.
posTAOr rata ik the rsrrzo states.
Daily Dispatch, One Year I 8 TO
Daily DIFrATCH, I'er Quarter -00
Daily Dispatch. Oneilonth
Daily DI6PATCH. Including Sunday. 1 year. 10 00
DAILY DI6PATCH. including Sunday, Sm'ths. 2 80
Daily Disi'ATCH,lncludlngSunday.lmonth M
Sotay Dispatch, One Year 250
V EEKLY Dispatch, One Year 13
The Daily Dispatch Is delivered by carrlersat
jscents per -week, or Including Sunday edition, at
10 cents per week.
PITTSBURG. SATPRUAY. SEP. 14, 1889.
TWELVE PAGES
THE BOWING SCAKDaL.
More than the usual amount of scandal
and charges of foul play attends the boat
race which came off at McKeesport, yester
day. If the outcome had been merely
charges that the backer of one rower delib
erately got in the way of the other, or that
the other seized that pretext to quit, they
might be taken as the conventional accom
paniments of professional rowing, especially
on Pittsburg waters. But when such asser
tions aro illuminated and emphasized by
the charge that one crowd tried to poison
the rival rower, we are treated to an aspect
of professional'rowing, from which the one
plain deduction seems to be that there is no
ground for confidence in the fairness or
honesty of any part of the proceedings.
This is the usual tendency of athletic
sports which fall into the mire of profes
sionalism. ITo athletic diversion is superior
for physical aqd moral health to rowing, so
long as it is kept entirely within the realm
of diversion. But when such a diversion is
turned into a profession lor making money,
its downward course is almost inevitable.
In order to make the profession yield its
fullest revenue, it mu3t be made an adjunct
to the pool box; and when that stage is
reached, the temptations and ease of turn
ing it into a game, with stacked cards, are.
generally irresistible. The result is that
the degradation of the sport generally de
feats its own purposes by such notorious
cheating that none but the veriest gudgeons
will hazard their money on it.
It will take few more such affairs as this
is reported to have been to convince the
public that professional rowing matches
constitute a species of foul play with which
no decently honest man can afford to have
anything to do.
AFTEE CAMPAIGN FUNDS.
The plan which has been adopted by the
National Republican Committee for the
raising of campaign Innds, as set forth in
our local columns, shows that the committee
is giving its early attention to the raising of
funds for intermediate elections, as well as
for national campaigns. It is held forth as
a means of avoiding the quadrennial appeal
for money which has of late years been a.
leading feature of the national canvass;
but it is likely, nevertheless, that when the
next national campaign arrives, there will
.be the same call on those who are interested
in the result to come down with the cash.
The Democratic organs will, of course, dis
cover an aroma of boodle in the scheme.
That suspicion will be justified or not in
proportion to the amount oi money raised
and the way in which it is spent. Its devel
opment permits the expression of the hope
that the time will come when principles will
be of more importance in our politics than
monev.
A SIGNIFICANT EEFUSAL.
The investigation of the Senatorial Com
mittee at Kansas City succeeded in un
earthing a bit of negative testimony which
is almost as significant as direct testimony
to the same effect would have been. One of
the Armours who consented to testify at
Kansas City refused to tell the rates
which he gets from the railroads on the
transportation of his products. This is
one of the points on which the public has a
right to be informed, and which the Senate
Committee was entitled to inquire.
But the refusal to testify on this point is
a practical admission that there is some
thing wrong abont it. Under the law the
rates which the railroads give to the
dressed beef packers are required to be
published, and to be open to all shippers of
that product. If the law were complied
with, it would have been easy and natural
for the witness to have referred the commit
tee to the regular published rates. His re
fusal to tell the rates, while it may not be
available in law, justifies the presumption
that secret favors in rates are still conceded
by the railroads to the great dressed beef
firms, which affords a sufficient explanation
of the control of the markets by those con
cerns. This of course indicates the violation of
the law and the nullification of the profuse
professions of the railway combinations that
they were going to enforce the law. The
inference amounts to a call upon the Inter
state Commerce Commission to justify its
existence by prompt and sharp steps to de
tect the offense and secure its punishment.
A CHINESE EXAMPLE.
The statement that a Chinese secret or
ganization has placed a concern in Jlott
street, the Chinese quarter of Xew York,
tinder a boycott for some reason inscruta
ble to the Caucasian mind, presents so
difficulty to the average American, in per
ceiving that such irresponsible and un
authorized edicts cannot be permitted to affect
the welfare of anyone under our laws. But
should not that example of tbe boycott, illus
trated in its most exotic and offensive form,
open the eyes of the public to the foreign
and un-American nature of the boycott in
any shape? It is easy to see that the sub
jection of people to the edicts of secret or
ganizations is all wrong when the illustra
tion is furnished by the Chinese; but is it
not equally opposed to individual rights,
and the freedom of our institutions when
inflicted by organizations of our own
nationality? The boycott is a foreign im
portation. The Chinese example should
emphasize the principle that people in the
United States can only be subject to the
laws of the country.
THE JUDGES AND LICENSE.
The discussion of the question of a new
hearing on the granting of retail liquor
licenses, before Judges White and Magee
yesterday, discloses a difference of opinion
as to the functions of the Judges in the
matter, which those high authorities ought
to be able to settle between themselves.
Judge White thinks that the decision
whether more licenses shall be granted
ought to be decided by the full bench, but
the other Judges exhibit the same modest
indisposition to rule on the question
that is general among them with regard to
license matters.
If Judge White wishes the opinion of his
brother Judges on the subject it is no more
than fair that they should give it. On the
other hand if Judge White thinks, as re
ported, that the list should be enlarged
there is little reason to question that the
rest of the bench will permit him to take
this action and support him in doing so.
If that is the decision to which tbe court is
tending it ought to be easy to get the
fountain of justice and license into smooth
running order.
SEVENTEEN YEAES LEE-WAY.
Seventeen years ago Horace Greeley died,
and a little while after his death his fellow
citizens of New York proposed to erect a
public statue in his honor. They are still
proposing to build the monument It is
even said by sanguine New Yorkers that "a
serious effort will be made to raise the statue
fund to JSOjOOO, so that the sculptor may be
gin his work." The serious effort is still in
the future; but we will take it for granted
that the necessary sum will be raised within
the current year.
In these facts we think we have discovered
the length of time required by New Yorkers
to collect the money for a statue to a public
man, or for any like purpose. Seventeen
years is the mystical figure. It is easy
therefore to calculate that the monument to
Grant will be added to the ornaments ef
New York City in the year 1902. Four
years later, or 190G, the arch commemorating
the Constitutional Centennial will span
Fifth avenue, and will therefore be ready
for the postponed World's Fair in 1909.
Nothing could be simpler than this addi
tion of seventeen years to the date proposed
by New York for the accomplishment of any
public undertaking. A great deal of un
necessary worry and grumbling can be
avoided if this rule be kept in mind.
Gradually, no doubt, New York City will
acquire a reputation for keeping her promi
ses. Not very punctually, but still in the
end keeping them. But a promise to pay
in twelve months from date is apt to become
moldy if renewed annually seventeen
times.
Of course the last combination that is re
ported that of granite ware manufacturers
earnestly denies that it is a trust None
of them are. All that any of them attempt
to do is "to establish uniformity of prices,"
and the prices are uniformly high.
There is food for tolerant amusement in
the assertion of the esteemedBaltimore Her
ald in connection with the subject of exposi
tions, that "it is curious that people who live
in such insalubrious climates as those which
surround Omaha and Pittsburg will venture
upon an elaborate outdoor performance
when they are sure to get caught in the
rain." The idea that an exposition must be
an outdoor performance is unique. In a
EDirit of magnanimous enlightenment, we
hasten to inform our cotemporary that, in
credible as it may seem to the Baltimore
mind, Pittsburg has spent over 5300,000 in
putting up Exposition buildings for hold
ing our Expositions indoors.
If the leaders of the rival electric com
panies keep on exposing the methods which
each has taken to injure the business of the
other, it will not take the public long to
draw the inference that it is a pretty bad
case ot pot and kettle.
It is asserted that an objection has been
raised in Boston to sending John Ii. Sullivan
to Congress for fear that he might contract
the liqnor habit there. If there was danger
that he would contract any material addi
tion to the habit the objection might be ex
pected to come from the other members of
Congress. Under such circumstances they
would stand in peril of having to go thirity
while the bibulous Sullivan drinks all the
liquor that is to be had until the Whisky
Trust relieves the scarcity by opening up
fresh distilleries.
The peach crop liar, both from the storm
swept Atlantic coast and from the districts
of Michigan, hastens to make good former
omissions by killing off the peach crop
about the time that it has been harvested.
The fact that Mr. Burns is "ashamed of
the organized workingmen of America" is,
of course, not pleasant to our labor organi
zations. But as Mr. Burns' dissatisfaction
is based on the failure of our labor organi
zations to contribute to the London strike,
and as the organized workingmen of En
gland have been conspicuously absent from
the subscriptions to American strikes, per
haps the two nationalities may be able to
reach the conclusion that accounts are about
even, and that a fresh start may be made.
When the agony is over and we know
who gets the baseball pennant for 18S9, then
the country can rest in peace. Meantime
Pittsburg is very well acquainted with one
city which does not get it
"If the report that Edison has refused an
offer of $20,000,000 for the phonograph be
true, it proves one thing conclusively," says
the Philadelphia Press. But as the pub
lished report of a lawsuit in New York
show that he sold it some time ago for 57C0,
000, the report does not prove anything con
clusively except the ease with which anyone
can deal in an oversupply of ciphers.
TnE time has now arrived for Wiggins
and all the rest of the clan to tell how they
foresaw the ocean storms but hardly con
sidered them worth mentioning.
Mb. Mukat HALSXEAD informs the re
porters of the East that the Bepnblicans of
Ohio are certain of success this fall. This
carries the inference that Mr. Halstead re
gards his personal prospects as secure no
matter bow the Standard Oil Company and
its allies in both parties may rage.
The Steubenville bridge is finished and
hostilities between the river and railroad
interests may be declared off until the next
bridge is to be built
The report that the United States mails
have been carrying the Patent Office reports
and other public documents intended lor
Senator Gray, of Delaware, to Senator
Quay of Beaver, and now have got to carry
them back again, represents an immense
amount of wasted energy.
The wind-storms of the Eastern coast are
understood to have been a warning in kind
against the perils of an extra session of
Congress.
Titr. United States vessels and the crack
yachts that were out in the storm are turn
ing up all right; but the sailing vessels and
tramp steamers have been roughly handled.
It is a satisfactory indication that the new
navy can stand the stoims which are destruc
tive of ordinary vessels.
PROMINENT PEOPLE.
Me. Mabtin Fahquhak Tuppeb was edu
cated for the Church, but stammered too badly
to pursue that profession.
Mr. Hen-bick Ibseh, tbe hero of the latest
literary craze in England, is 62 years old, and
was educated to bo a chemist. He owes his
dramatic success largely to the friendship and
patronage of Olo Bull.
Marion Hakland, whoso maiden name was
Mary Virginia Haw, was a bright, handsome
girl scarcely 16 years old when she wrote her
first book, "Marrying From Prudential
Motives." It attracted attention. In 1854, when
19 years old, she published "Alone," a novel,
which quickly ran through 19 editions, and she
has since written 19 other novels, all more or
less successful. In 1S56 she was married to the
Rev. Edward Pnysoa Terbune. when sho re
moved from Richmond to the North, and she
has resided in Brooklyn, New York and New
ark, N. J. She is now the editor of tho Home
Maher.
Oliver Wendell- Holmes is a littlo wiz
ened man, SO years old, but with a freshness of
heart that time cannot wither. Like all Bus
tonians, he is an Anglomaniac, but he is not
dancing mad on the subject Unlike some of
his fellow townsmen, be does not think a nod
from a lord is better than a breakfast at the
Parker House. He was, it is true, a little taken
off bis feet by the' attention shown him in En
gland, during his last visitbut he has too much
common sense not to see that a small quantity
of that sort of thing will go a great way. Dr.
Holmes's literary reputation will probably rest
upon tho "Autocrat of the Breakfast Table,"
which was the making of the Atlantic Monthly.
Henry Watterson, editor of the Lonls
ville Courier-Journal, is almost blind in ono
eye and sees very badly out of the other. He
us:s a magnifying glass when reading, and does
mnch of his writing through an amanuensis;
his wife, also, assists him In his work. When
he writes himself he uses a thick, glazed paper
and a quill pen. Ho writes a scrawl almost as
hard to read as Horace Greeley's. When he
works he goes at it with a vim, taking off his
coat and rolling up his sleeves. Sometimes for
days he does not write a line, but amuses him
self chatting with bis friends. Ho enjoys a
good dinner. Ho has been in Congress, has
lectured, written a book or two, and in early
life was ambitious to be a novelist
Rembrandt Peaxk, the famous artist who
painted "Death on a Pale Horse." was the first
to introduce gas in the city of Baltimore. In
IS1G be was the proprietor of tbe old Baltimore
Museum, and in order to show off the paintings
which he was exhibiting, he had lighted gas
arranged in jets to play on them. Having
proved in this way tbe power of gas as an illu
minator, he proposed to the Baltimoro author
ities to light tho streets with it. The City
Council, with the usual stupidity of such
bodies, rejected the plan as not feasible. Mr.
Peale found some of the citizens of Baltimore
more enlightened than tbe City Ccuncil. The
dwelling of Jacob I. Cohen was the first house
in Baltimore lighted by gas. It was not for
nearly 30 years that gas was introduced in the
Lexington Market Rembrandt Peale lived to
be 80 j ears old, but did not derive much pe
cuniary return from his enterprise in tbe gas
business.
General John Eankhead Maoruber
was an officer in the army and was particularly
proud of his horsemanship. During tho Mexi
can War he rodo a splendid charger, Black
Prince. Magrnder. who was then a captain,
could perform all sorts of feats on horseback,
and took pleasure in showing off his skill. One
day be was witching the army with his horse
manship when a Texan came along and de
clared that he could beat Map-ruder riding on
his own horse. Naturally disgusted at this
piece of presumption be called bis brother
officers and said he was going to have a trial
of horsemanship with tho Texan, and should
the latter be defeated it would be only right
and proper that he should be whipped out of
camp. They all agreed, and the riding com
menced. Magrnder excelled all his former
feats on horseback, and was rewarded with
loud cheers The Texan then mounted Black
Prince and rode around and around in the
most reckless manner, when, suddenly, when
ho got to the farthest side of the camp he
darted off, and Magruder never saw horse or
rider again. When tho laugh which greeted
this feat was over Magrnder said it served him
right for trusting an unknown man to ride his
best horse.
A BIG-FOOTED FAMILY.
Ten Person! Whose Shoes Havo to bo Mado
on No. 15 Lnsls.
LODISVILI.E, September 13. Down in Gray
son county. In the vicinity of Dickey's mill
there is a most remarkable family named
Hunton. It is composed of father, mother and
eight sons and daughters, all of the children
full grown. Not one of them weighs lcs than
ITS pounds, and the second oldest son tins the
beam at 275. This, however, would not be un
common, as large people are abundant in Ken
tucky, but every member of the family has feet
of most extraordinary size, far out of propor
tion to their bodies. ,
There aro no manufactured shoes large
enough for them, and It keeps a country shoe
maker busy supplying pedal coverings for the
entire family. Not one of them uses a shoe
smaller than that made on a 15 last and tbe
largest foot measures 18 inches in length. No
other white persons in Kentucky arc known to
have feet approaching theso in size, although
colored people frequently wear No. 14 shoes,
the ordinary foot requiring a 7 or an 8.
A FASTER COMPELLED TO EAT.
A Hermit Who Tried to 6tnrvo Himself
Sent to the Poor-home.
Saratoga, September 13. Relatives of
James Stearns, of Corinth, who attempted to
starve himself to death, are seeking to have
him placed In their charge instead of being
Immured in an asylum. He is the Efner Lake
hermit who fasted from August SI until last
Monday, when the Superintendent of the Poor
placed him under arrest and compelled him to
break his fast
He was adjudged insane and placed in the
Foorhouse Asylum. He was taken before
County Judge Houghton to-day on a writ of
habeas corpus swprn out by his relatives, who
declared in court that they wero able and will
ing to care for him. Stearns was sent back to
the poorhouse and his relatives were told to
make application to the Commissioner in
Lunacy at Albany for bis release.
Died a He Predicted.
Hamhtos, O., September 13. "I will be
dead in halt an hour," said Thoodore H.
Becker, a saloon keeper, as he entered his bed
chamber this morning. His wife thought ho
was joking, but 15 minutes later he was found
dead. Death was caused by rheumatism of
the heart
DEATHS OF A DAI.
n. H. Bjers.
Mr. H. H. Byers, or Genbree, Mercer county,
died at his residence on Wednesday afternoon,
lie was a brother of the well-known wrought iron
pipe mannlacturers of this city, A. M. and E. M.
Hires, and be had a large circle of friends. Tho
late Mr. Dyers was a great admirer of livestock,
and spent much time and attention in raising line
horses and com. A partial stroke of paralysis
which he suffered last summer was tbe primary
canse or his death. Health resorts proved to be
or no benefit to him, and he finally succumbed to
his terrible affliction, Th deceased was unmar
ried, and tbe remains win he Interred In the nu
liy lot at Ulenneld to-day,
THE TOPICAL TALKEK.
Bownro of Bnrbcrs by the Sen, Bays an
Expert How n Town Is Built In Colo,
rado Hard-Boiled Eggs and Plums.
A tall, slim man with very little hair on his
bead sat down in a chair in a crowded barber
shop, and 'said to the tonsorial artist: "Want
my hair cutj" then he shut his eyes, and gave
every evidence, save snoring, of being asleep
at once. But the barber was the proprietor of
the shop, and he was not inclined to forego any
of his proprietary privileges. He smashed
that tall, slim man's scheme of slumber mighty
quick with a cannonade of talk.
"Your hair's inelegant shape since that last
shampoo," he said with an aggressive click of
his scissors; "not much like the last man's hair
I cut He's one o' them fellers that let seaside
barbers fool with "em."
"Are barbers so bad at the seashore!" asked
the tall victim, resigned to the situation by this
time.
"Bad? Well, I should say they were. I ex
pect heaps of extra work getting back my
regnlar customers' hair into regular order.
The hair anyhow gets so fall of salt at the
shore that it takes a world of work to make it
sott and glossy again. But it's the shocking
bad hair cutting of the marine barbers that
does the most mischief. Anybody 'most can
get a place in a barber shop at a popular sea
side resort Good barbers won't give up their
regular positions in tho cities, no matter how
tempting the wages by the sea are. Conse
quence is a lot of greenhorns and amateurs get
the jobs, and their customers get the jags."
Hero the tall slim man plead for his right ear
which had narrowly escaped severance from
his head, before tho barber continned: 'The
man 1 just finished had a head of hair that
looked like one of them tooth-brushes they
call -searcners' that pry into hollow teeth it
was all uneven and ragged. Said he'd just got
back from Atlantic City. I told him I knew it
Ho says: 'WhyT' 'Your hair shows it' says I.
Never Knew such a set of scalpers and mowers
as the barbers down there.' My advice to you,
sir. is never to have your hair cut by a seasido
barber. If you must have it cut get your wife
to chop it with a basin ovor your head."
And the tall slim man slipped out of the
chair with only a suspicion, a very nebulous
suspicion of hair on bis bead.
V
"They know how to work a real estate boom
in Colorado," remarked a Pittsbnrger, who has
been traveling in the State of silver, sand
storms and snow-topped mountains all summer.
'It's an exact science with them. There's the
town of South Kearney, for instance. When
they got done booming Kearnoy a part of the
boomers lound they had been frozen ont as
they thought, and they determined to have
their revenge qntckly. So they went down the
railroad a few miles, and started a new town,
which they called South Kearney. I passed
through South Kearney in July. It bad
miles of curbed and paved streets, under
which gas, sewer and water pipes were laid, a
splendid city hall, and an elaborate railroad
depot but of a single residence or store there
wasn't a sign. A month later I returned that
way, and lo! South Kearney was a bustling
town with many houses built and more build
ing. Such a transformation of country Into
town I never saw equaled for rapidity."
.
A Chinaman and a very gorgeously ar
rayed young man. who is heir to millions, were
jammed close together in an Allegheny street
car yesterday and I remarked the contrast tho
pair afforded to the theatrical man who sat be
side me.
"Yes. that is a contrast," he said; "but talking
of combinations which aro akin to contrasts
et mo tell you of one I saw this summer in
New York. One night a party of us were kill
ing time in a tour of all tbe theaters, museums
and concert halls on tho Bowery. In tbe course
of our journey we came across a sort of beer
garden near the London Theater, admission to
which was free. We went in, and as we had
been doing everywhere that night, we took
seats away down front, right under the stage,
on which, as we entered, a very stout woman
in green and purple velvet was singing a song
about a dude. In accordance with the rules
of the house we gave an order for four
beers and looked about us. The usual mixture
of workingmen, lnafors, slatternly women and
immature lads sat about ns drinkingthe mawk
ish beer. The stage was small, but tho dress
ing room was smaller, and the performers,
mostly very largo masculine-looking women
sat on the steps leading- down from it They
were constantly munching sandwiches and
other eatables and drinking beer. Presently
the waiter who bad brought ns the beer which
we did not drink by the way came to our ta
ble with a tray on which were several small
plates containing what do you think? Hard
boiled eggs and plums the former ripe enough
but the fruit looked like cholera in small
packages. I asked the waiter if that was all he
bad to offer and he replied contemptuously:
'Ain't dis good enough fer any gent? Whatd'yer
want? Ice cream an' strawberries ?' How that
combmatlon of eggs and plums mado us laugh.
We had to leave at once to avoid a disturb
ance." AS OLD AS INDEPENDENCE.
The Death of a Colored Woman Who Was
Born In April, 1776.
Louisville, September 13. "Aunt" Dinah
Young, colored, who, it is believed, was the
oldest person in this State, died this morning
at 4:55 o'clock, at the residence of her brother,
Dabney Page, who. it is believed, is probably
tbe wealthiest colored man in this city. She
was born in Albemarle county, Virginia, in
April, 1776. Tho records of her birth are still
in existence. Her birth place was the farm of
Colonel Clifford Shelton, to whom her parents
belonged, and at an early age sho was trans
ferred to the home of Colonel William Shelton,
where she remained as honso servant.
Colonel William Shelton was a famous
soldier and was an army companion of the late
Dr. C. C. Graham m the Northwestern Indian
wars. She was converted and joined tho Bap.
tist church In l&H, at the time of the falling of
a shower of stars often spoken of by old peoplo
in this section.
Ono Wny of Llvlnc Like a Kins.
from the Philadelphia Inquirer.:
Tbe salary of tho King of Samoa has been
fixed at $20, and the monarch has to "find"
himself. Considering, however, that food costs
nothing and no clothing is required this Is a
munificent salary.
It Will be a Public Benefaction.
From the l'hiladelphla 1'rcssl
The proposed piano trust will frighten no
body. On the contrary, if it corners noise and
establishes a monopoly of discord, it will be
hailed as a public benefaction.
Needs nn Introduction.
From the Louisville Courier-Journal.!
Jack the Ripper sees so little of detectives
that he probably would not know ono of thoso
astute officials if bo were to meet him.
Did You Ever!
From the Detroit Free I'ress.l
A learned philosopher in Hartford has an
nounced the discovery that tbe dust of the
streets is mud dried and pulverized.
OUTLIER MPTAT.
I "waited on" her (as they say
In rustic parts) last summer,
Altho' she was an out-and-out
Aristocratic "hummer."
I meet her lc a hit; hotel,
Where Gossip's eyes was on her;
"Ah, hal" Rood Mrs. Grundy groaned,
"That dude Is waiting on her!"
And so I was. For full two weeks
I dally danced attendance;
And she? Ah, well, she learned to lean
On me with sweet dependence I
I've whirled thro' many a waltz with her;
I've seen tbe stars a-spangle.
As we two walked beside the wave;
I've given her a bangle.
I've wandered thro' dim woodland ways
With none but her beside me:
When looking In her eyes was heaven,
That heaves was not denied me.
'Twas in July we met, and oh
'Twas in July we parted I '
And yet somehow we've both survived
Who should be broken-hearted.
Hearts may be trumps beside the sea.
But oh and more's the pity,
'lis diamonds girls all go for, when
They're hack within the cltyi
I waited on ber t'other day.
My seaside belle, and blow me,
She coolly bought some ribbon, and
Bhe didn't oven know me I
-Jf. If, A, fn Boston Qkee.
THEM SILYEE WEDDING.
A Doable Deception at the Residence of Mr.
and Mrs. Matehett.
Last night the silver wedding anniversary of
Mr. and Mrs. Alex Matehett was celebrated at
their residence, No. 159 Center avenue, and at
the same time the recent marriage of their
son, A. B. Matehett, was honored by a large
reception. The parties are all well known.
Mrs. Matehett, Br., will be remembered as one
of the strongest lady workers in the cause of
temperance, and as one of tbe earliest ot that
famous brigade, "The Crusaders." Tbe ro
mantic marriage of ber son, A. R. Matehett
caused quite a stir lately. His pretty wife is
tbe daughter of Manager Wilt of the Opera
House.
The marriage of the elder couple took place
in 1864. and was performed by the Rev. Dr.
Whltely. of Oil City. At that time Mr.Matchett
was serving as First Lieutenant in Company
G, Fourth Pennsylvania Cavalry. Four chil
dren, three boys and one girl, are the result of
this union. Abont 160 invitations had been is
sued for tbe silver wedding, and over 225 extra
ones for the reception of the young couple; so
at an early hour the spacious grounds and
mansion of tbeMatchetts was already filled
with guests. The skill of Elliott the florist,
had been taxed to tbe utmost in transforming
the halls, archways, mantels and other availa
ble spots In the old residence lntojnarvels of
beauty, and in many places the walls and ceil
ings had been fairly hidden under a mass of
waving tropical plants. There was music by
the Royal Italian Orchestra throughout tho
evening.
Tho wedding ceremony of the bride and
groom was performed again just as it bad been
gone through 25 years ago. Once more the
happy conple stood before the Ber. Dr.
Whltely. and the sacred bans were pronounced,
binding them, if possible, even to a closer union
of love and happiness. Mrs. Alex. Matehett
was dressed in an imported combination suit of
blue French silk, with a magnificent tram. The
younger Mrs. Matehett was tbe picture of
youth and beauty in a charmlngtoilet of cream
coiorea inaia silk trimmed witn sue tune.
After the ceremony dancing was begnn and
continued into a late hour. Abont midnight
all sat down to an elegant repast prepared by
Kennedy. A perfect rain of presents had been
showered on the participants of the silver wed
ding. Silver ornaments of everv description.
silver tea sets, vases, mantel ornaments, bas
kets, in fact nearly all kinds of useful and or
namental presents were to be seen In their col
lection, and although the younger conple have
been married for some time, even they were
not forgotten in tbe matter of present-giving.
Among those gathered together were: Mrs.
A. W. Black, First President of the W. C, T.
U. in this State: Rev. Dr. Whltely, of Oil City;
Rev. Mr. Ueaeom and wife, Drs. Kirker and
Wright; Mr. and Mrs. R. Knowlson, Mr. and
Mrs. H. Kennedy, Mr. A. C. Petterson, Prot
Byron W. King and Prof. Williams, of Curry
University; Mr. and Mrs. W. HIpe, Mr. and Mrs.
James Wallace,Mr. Richard Matehett, Mr. and
Mrs. Carter, Mr. Robert Woodburn, of Frank
lin, Pa., and wife; Mrs. Donnelson and son, also
or Franklin; Mr. and Mrs. R. Magee, of Oil
City; Mr. Alex Bonner, ot Stoneboro; Mr.
Charles Hines and wife, Mrs. Eliza
Bonner. Mr. and Mrs. B. May, of Chicago;
Mr. and Mrs. Charles Bonner, of Chicago; Mr.
and Mrs. Aubrey Saint Mr. George Finley and
family. Rev. James Collins and wife, of Sher
man. Pa.; Mr, Finley Torrence and family, Mr.
and Mrs. Steve Kennedy, Mr. and Mrs. Cherry,
Mrs. Miller, of Union avenue, Allegheny; Mr.
H. Hawk. Mr. John King, Miss M. Kennedy,
Mr. George Cook, of Camden, N. J.; Manager
E. D. Wilt, of the Opera House, and wife; Mr.
and Mrs. John 8. Davis. Mrs. Caroline Cham
bers and daughter, and Mr. Charles Zng
smith, Jr.
A PEETTI LAWN FETE.
Annual Online of the Ladles' Co-Operattvo
Aid Society.
The lawn fete of tho Ladles' Co-operative
Aid Society, which was held in Silver Lake
Grove yesterday afternoon and evening, was a
decided success. For some years past tbe
ladies of the society have been in the habit of
holding this out ing, and their friends have be
come accustomed to look forward to it with
pleasant anticipation.
Tho large crowd which assembled at the
grove yesterday was a pleasing encouragement
to the members of the order in the good work
they have undertaken. In spite of the threaten
ing aspect of tbe weather, the representatives
of the Emory M. E. Church, where the Ladles'
Co-operative Aid Society is established, turned
out in such large numbers, that the grove was
soon the scene of the most lively animation.
Several hundred people were present, and
among them not a few children, who made the
parks ring with their happy peals of laughter,
and Dnghtcned everything around them with
their merry pranks. Two very small donkeys
were the special favorites of tbe little ones,
and carried hosts of them with patient docilitj
all tbe day.
There was no dancing, but some excellent
mnsic was furnished by the E. McCall Cornet
Band, and promenading was quite the order of
tbe day. Of course it goes without saying that
refreshments were plenty and of the best de
scription. The ladies in charge of the booths
had put forth their best endeavors to meet tho
requirements of even tbe most exacting, and
the way in which the stands were patronized
proved that their work had not been in vain.
Tho lawn fete will be a financial success, as
It most certainly was satisfactory from a social
standpoint Several hundred dollars will be
realized from the admission fees and sales at
the booths, and this money will now be devoted
to the purposes of the society.
LADIES' MILITAKI EECEPTI0X.
A Pleasant Entertainment of Mr. Washing
ton Veterans by tbe Ladles.
The ladies of tho Grand Army Circle No. 52,
of Mount Washington, gave a reception and
entertainment last eveuing, which Colonel W.
H. Moody Post No. 155, G. A. R., attended in
uniform. Notwithstanding the threatening ap
pearance of the weather, the entertainment
which was given at the house and grounds of
Prof. R. M. Cargo, Belinda street whose wife
is President of the Circle, was a decided suc
cess. Music, vocal and instrumental, speeches
and pleasant social chat wore the order of the
evening.
The committees in charge were:
General Committee Mrs. Bella Rawsthorne,
Misses Helen Philips, Nettie Hamilton, Louisa
Riggs and Mrs. Naj smith.
Coffee Mrs. James, Harriet Hutton and Rose
Gracey.
Ice Cream Mesdames M. E. Cargo and Jane
NIven.
Lemonade Mesdames Sarah McCormick
and Mary Landerbaugb.
Mistress of Ceremonies Mrs. Sarah Linhart
and assistant Mrs. Agnos Montrcville.
Aids Misses Annie O'Neal, Julia Craig,
Carrie Riggs, Lillto Mcllvaine and Maud Fet
terman. Gate Keepers Misses T. Jones and J. P.
Ricgs.
Thero were about 150 people present and all
enjoyed themselves heartily.
A DANCE AT SEW1CKLEX.
Two Yassnr Students Aro Roynllr Enter
tained br a CInssmntc.
A delightful dance was given at the Park
Place Hotel, Sewickley, last evening by Miss
Mamie Cochran in honor of her assar class1
mates. Miss Guerln, of Morriston, N. J., and
Miss Kelly, of Allegheny, The rooms were
elegantly arranged for tho occasion. Magnifi
cent tropical plants were tastefully placed
aronnd the room, which gave it a charming ap
pearance. The guests began to arrive abont 9
o'clock, and by 10 o'clock tbe room was filled
by the best people ot Sewickley. Mrs. Mans
field B. Cochran assisted ber sister-in-law as
hostess.
MO WONDER SHE FAINTED.
Startling Effect of Words ol Praise In Be
half of London's Police.
Those who havo read the startling accounts
of the Whitechapel murders, and havo won
dered at the stupidity of tho London police,
will no doubt bo amused in reading tho follow
ing, taken from Charlotte M. Braeme'a "A
Haunted Life-"
"It Is wonderful to me," said Lord Ostium,
"how many cases ol mysterious disappearance
there are In the world, mysteries that are never
cleared."
"My opinion." said the Earl. "Is that there are
many more murders In the world than people
know of; a mysterious disappearance and a mur
der aro very often the samo thing. "
"Yet," added Lord Osburn, "I must say. In
favor of our police. 1 do not think there la a more
intelligent body or men on the face of tbe earth.
I uphold them always."
lie looked up with a startled cry, for quite
silently, and without a word, Lady Vera had
fallen back white and senseless.
A SuBKc'silon for the National Flower.
From the Norrljtown Hcrald.l
The United States Fish Commission speaks,
in a recent report, of a "codfish plant" Such a
"plant" must be more odorous tnan the rose,
and it is a wonder that some crank hasn't nom
inated it for the office of National Flower. It
might salt tbe aristocracy of that brand.
Youna Mnn of tbe Period.
From Drake's Magazlne.l
Student Professor, bow do you account for
the expression, "young man of the period?"
ProfessorIt arises from tbe fact that such a
young hian goes so fast as soon td corns to ft
lull 8(1
NEWS IN NEW I0RI. '
Casae to the Front Again.
tHXIT T0BX BUniAD riCULt.1
NbwYoek, September IS. Nathaniel Mc
Kay, the shipbuilder who acquired consider
able reputation last fall as' an opponent of
Grover Cleveland's tariff reform, is again be
fore the public. One week ago he and Col
lector Erbardt almost came to blows In tbe
corridorof the Fifth Avenno Hotel, because
the Collector refused to give one of McKay's
henchmen a soft berth in the Custom House.
Last nisht Mr. McKay Introduced tbe bloody
shirt into a conversation he bad with George
Israel, a fiery Texan, in the rotunda of the.
Hoffman House. The result was an nproar
ons discussion, which was terminated by Mr.
Israel smashing Mr. McKay's white tlledown
over his ears with an umbrella. McKay
struck out hut as his hatband entirely ob
structed his vision, he hit nothing. Detective
Edwards grabbed him before he got into fight
ing trim. Israel was dragged away by the,
porter, shouting: "To be called a Uah, sab, will"
not go, s'ah, with a Texas gentleman, by gad,
sab, who can crow fat on bullets, sab."
Saved tbe Captain and Crew.
The captain of the steamship Verm asee, which
came into port to-day, reports that daring the
storm off Sandy Hook yesterday be picked up
Captain P. A. Bull, wife, two children and U
of the crew of the bark Abby Cass, oil laden
and bound to Copenhagen. The bark had be
come disabled by tbe storm, and was aban
doned in a sinking condition by her captain
and crew. The rescued party bad sought
safety in the vessel's life boats, and but for the
timely arrival of tbe Vermasee would most
probably have been drowned.
The Blnlne-ItlcCormlck Wedding.
Friends in this city of Miss McCormick and
of Mr. Emmons Blaine have received invitv
tions to their wedding, which is to take place
on September 26. This is how the- invitation
appears:
Mrs. Cyrus Hall McCormick requests your pres
ence at the marriage of her daughter, Anita, to
Mr. Emmons Blaine, on Thursday, September 20,
at 12 o'clock. Presbyterian Church, Klchlleld
Springs, H. Y.
New Silver Certificate Counterfeits.
The officials at the United States Sub-Treasury
in this city to-day received information
that a new issue of counterfeit 2 silver certifi
cates had been found in circulation. Notice
was immediately sent to tbe banks and down
town brokers with a request that any person
offering one of the certificates be detained, and
word sent to the Government detective at the
sub-treasury. It is thought that the certificates
were first circulated in the West. The engrav
ing and printing are not first class, but good
enough to deceive many experts. They bear a
picture of General Hancock, which is a bad
likeness, and are marked "B 10,5il,171"
Killed by Electricity.
There was a bad leak in tbe awning in front
of Patterson's saloon, on Houston street, this
afternoon. Joseph Matz, an Italian, who kept
a fruit stand under the awning, was much an
noyed by the leak. He climbed up to stop it
His foot slipped, and to steady himself he
caught at a wire that dangled over head. Some
men working in Chrystle street thonght tbey
smelted burning wood, ana looking around for
the cause saw the Italian hanging on the edge
of the awning, caught undor tbe chin by tbe
wire. He was dead. After a quarter of an
hour of excitement Matz was laid down in the
street and surgeons worked over him, bnt
nothing eould bring him back to life. Tbe
wire bad burned a deep furrow in his throat
The men who first saw him said that blue
flames leaped out from bis side as he bung upon
the wire, so thoroughly was bis body charged
by electricity. The wire was connected with
the electric wires lighting the saloon.
THE! PEOPflESI A PANIC.
The Revived Greenback PartyAdopts a Very
Pessimistic Platform.
CINCXNNATI, September 13. The National
Greenback Convention was compelled to delay
its work to-day because tbe Committee on Res
olutions, appointed last night, had not been
able to agree upon a report Finally, in the
afternoon a report was presented and a plat
form was adopted. It reaffirms the third and
fourth resolutions of the Democratic National
Convention 1868. pertaining to. the, method'!
and time ol payment oi tne national aebt, and
to equal taxation of property. It also declares
that all laws changing the time or manner of
the payment of the public debt since 1F85 are
expost facto laws, and should be repealed.
That all legal tender notes now outstanding
should be immediately exchanged for others of
like denomination, to be issued with tbe words,
"Promise to pay,' stricken from their face, and
an additional amount issued to reclaim our and
lands, to subsidize an American merchant ma
rine, to build an American Navy, to erect pub
lic buildings, etc, until their volnme in circula
tion shall amount to at least 550 per capita of
the entire population; that indications point to
a greater financial panic in tbe near future
than this country or tbe world ever before siw,
nnless wise and immediate provision be made
(or a vase amount or money to sustain me
people's tottering confidence: that tbe time has
come when all sectional prejudice between the
people of the North and South should end.
Chicago's Line On New York.
From tbe Chicago Tlraej.l
Lines on New York (after Tom Hood):
Poor old unfortunate.
Weary of breath:
Rashly lmportnnate.
Pride caused her death.
Speak of her tenderly,
Treat her with care;
Stock taken tenderly
Lost her the fair.
TEI-STATE TEIFLES.
Jacob TwABDi.7s.who lived near Fast Liver
pool, O., died recently at the age of 73. He was
one of a family of five children, all born blind,
and in consideration of their mlsfortnne the
State deeded them 170 acres of ground near the
town, which they managed a great deal better
than many people who have two good eyes. Jacob
Twaddle could tell the color of a horse by feel
ing its hair.
Accobdiso to the testimony of his grand
mother, George Anderson, aged 13 years, of
York, takes delight in beating his mother. He
varied his amusement a day or two ago by stab
bing ber with a pair of scissors.
FoBTT-Tnn.EE days buried among ryo
sheaves is tho experience of a Baylor's Lake
hen. She was uncovered a few day3 ago when
the rye was thrashed and bad been imprisoned
when the grain was housed.
A NonTHEBir Ceutbai. locomotive was
boarded at WHIIamsport by a weak-minded
colored boy, who palled tbe lover and started
Mns. Michael SnilLiKQ, of Harabnrg. Is
a raving maniac from having brooded over the
disclosures and predictions of an itinerant for
tune teller.
AOESTLEMANwho lodges on a street in
Philadelphia where locomotives clash and bang
all night lone, says, ho can't sleep well when
away from home and in a quiet room.
A -WXDDINO took place lnMercer county jail
on Saturday. The bride had been imprisoned
for attempting suicide. '
DuniNO the storm of Tuesday afternoon of
last week, lightning struck the large house of
James Morris, at Mosiertown, but did not set
the building on fire. Ono gable end was badly
shattered, holes being mado in the roof large
enough for a man to crawl through. A
daughter, May, was in the act of closing a win
dow; when tho electricity burst through the
wlndaw casing at the top and ran down her left
arm and waist, tearing her dress as it went and
tearing off the hole front of tho shoe on her
left foot. Tho shock rendered her lnsen'lble
for a few moments, but aside from the burns
she is feeling quite well again. The only glass
broken In the house was the window where tho
daughter was standing, which was completely
smashed. No apparent connection can be
found between tbe two sides of the bouse, and
on three sides of the house can be found places
where the bolt entered tho ground.
A MAir who lives near Morgantown, W. Va.,
sees everything double. He has been to sev
eral specialist, but they cannot give him any
relief, and he has overcome tbe affliction by
using only one eye at a time. He will be seen
on tbe strestwith tbe green shade over the
right eye one day, and the next with it over the
left IntMs,wayhogitcshlseyesarcst
, cuEiow.oeiMmzital
The year 1869 Is tbe eteBB4Vtiel5
txodnction of the chrywwwiogaa aw atwyt-1
7-George Arnold, oWrf elerk Is tbe Mho-1
oun -acino freight offlces at tst ivoais a o Mac
t menea m neignt - &4
An .Eogiitij lady bas left WWMMj
devoted to the paetegTap&Bg ot ;Ae etaiiJ
Theodore Baker has barrestei 2,SW
Tmatltfl nf nntM.. i M. , AAA 9 . n iir,. t
land near Brideton. w.j ,," . f 1
An enterprising book ellr of.Te-klo t
..... 7- ,. - -.
has decided to open book stall at tbe priaelffd f 1
railway stations In the Empire. fE3p't ' 1
Up to the end of Angusii14f486,0e
Jjj J were J611 ' tha pris Exnodtlw.'f Isft
1S78 the number was only 7,136,060. ; JK5
On a recent holidav fioo nua-isftkt?"
Birmingham. England, workhoBseiweiefai- j
lowed to go out for the day. Only 66V rotemed )
sober. - p, ,
A Chinese journal contains tbe astound-'' ;
lne intelligence that "in America. IX. a
does not cmoke or drink; he la nnlTenally e-j
During the last month-1,441 cremaMeaflj
took place In Toklo, ZJ of tbe bodies tfcus.c!
posed of having been those of persona who died
The prisoner! in the Texas PenitentkrrF
raise sugar cane and refine Its juice. After
paying all the costs of food, fuel, shelter asat
clothing. SG5.000 has been turned into the StateC
from this work. - .s5 ,
It has been estimated br men of seiese.i
who have investigated the subject that the!
rock of Niagara Is belne worn awav br thai
waters at such a rate that In a few thousand I
years the cataract will work no to Laxs SilaxS
As soon as the horse cars from Cairo to'',
the Pyramids are completed, and tha work la
nearly done, an elevator will he made, to the
top of the venerable piles, so that ascent may
be made quickly and comfortably by the mod-
era traveler.
Jim "White, of Memphis, recently
thought it would be very funny to write hi ,
name and address on the back of a dollar bill.
But one of Plnkerton's men saw it and re-
membered that Jim was "wanted." Jim is V
therefore In jail with plenty of leisure to kick
himself for being so funny.
A lot ot bees swarmed on a telegraph '
pole In front of a leading newspaper office la
Louisville on Tuesday. Efforts to dislodge them
had only the effect of making them mad and
endangering horses and pedestrians. .Finally
they were allowed timo to "become quiet, and an
experienced man went Op with a handkerchief
over his head and hived them. One clamp ot
bees settled on hi shoulders, bnt ha deaeeaded
unnurt- ,'
Mrs. "W. A.Hackett, of Branswiek.GlCfi
oiedawhite rabbit Daring the past week;
tbe little pet became sick, and lor a day or two
lay on the floor of the piazza, where at last ltl
died. When removed after death, on the floors
was found a brown stain the exact shape of tbe V
animal as it lay. Repeated scourings failed to J
remove the stain, which is still more peculiar?'
from the fact that no discoloration was appa
rent on tne animal's niae or mr.
Thehotal coal consumption of the world
Is said to amount to upward of 1,000.000 cwt ?
per hour. Of this quantity about 210,000 cwt
are required per hour in order to heat the boil
ers for stationary and marine engines, locomo
tives, etc. The production of pig Iron absorbs
100,000 cwt and that of other metals 80,000 cwt
nerhour. The average hourly consumption of
household coal Is reckoned at 200.000 cwt. but
the total production is estimated at 30,090,009
cwt. to 33,000,000 cwt per diem, so there is a con
siderable margin.
Colonel Bennett H. Young, of Louis
ville, was a prisoner at Camp Douglass, near
Chicago, during the Civil War. When he went
he carried a small Bible with him, and this was
taken from him in prison by James Hickey, a
soldier. He prized the Bible very much, as it '
had been presented to him by his parents when
be went out to fight for the Confederacy.
Colonel Young was standing at the Phoenix
Hotel, in Lexington, the other afternoon, when
Private Hickey advanced, saluted, and pre
sented the Colonel with the Bible, Which he had
keptifor over a quarter of a century.
There are two Chinese individuals In
Hong Kong who own the majority of the na
tive houses between them, and who, by a sys
tem of regular rent raising, are simply rolling
in wealth. One has bad a great deal of family
trouble lately, and his wife, in her tribulation,
consulted the oracle at the temple to learn tho jj
reason of the anger of the gods. -.The. trial byifc
drawinir lots, according to the Drlests. showed .
Thtra'cau8&wslilWiinMMMpnr1iiaj.i ilaiiy
ouruens on tne tenants, xae result ot tms nas
been that in many cases the rents have beea
lowered considerably and in none will they bo
put up further. Thanks to the good old Oracle!
One of the meanest men of tbe age lirea
at Dexter, Me. He took a piece of land of a
poor widow, this year, to plant on halves. Tne
land was planted to potatoes and the crop waa
a good one. This mean man came by night
dug into the sides of the hills and removed
from each all the tubers with the exception of
a few straggling ones. This left tbe tops flour
ishing apparently as vigorously as ever. At tho
"official digging" a few days ago the widow was
sadly disappointed at tbe paucity of the crop,
and when the potatoes were divided ber portion
was a "mite" indeed. It surely is to be hoped
that this man will long continue to hold the
championship uncontested, on this record.
When the storm was at its height soon
after dark on Tuesday night a couple of fisher
men called at the house of the Rev. Mr. Van
Santvoord, at Seabright to warn the family
that tho house was in danger. The waves were
driving against the house and cutting away
the sand beneath it and it seemed in momenta
ry danger of tumbling over. Three servants
only were In the house. Aided by tbe fisher
men tbe girls got their trunks to the stable
over near the Shrewsbury. On reaching this
point one of tbe girls remembered that a
canary baefbeen left in the house. In spite of
the storm she started back lor It, but the rest
stopped her. "Why," said a fisherman, "the
bird wouldn't live ten minutes in this gale."
Ten minutes later the bouse was knocked to
pieces and the furniture and silverware strewn
over tbe sand. Abont an hour later still, John
Van Brunt came along with a lantern. Reach
ing tbe wreck of the cottage, he found a bird
cage about.ten rods from the house with the
canary which the girl had worried about alive
and welt He carried it to tbe stable. M r. Van
Santvoord gave Van Brunt S10 for saving tho
bird.
TIMELY TOPICS.
Johnny Mamma, is a bat dangerous?
Mrs.-Treat I don't know, my child. Ask your
father.
Eeady for the "Waste Basket Yonng
Poet Now, to tell the truth, I don't think this
poem of mine can he improved on.
Friend-Is It as bad as that?
Half "Widower. Miss Gushing Yon are
a widower, are yon not r. KewmanT
Mr. Newman (of Salt Lake CIty)-Only partial
ly, Jllas (lushing. Three of my wives are still
living.
Calling a Spade a . Shovel. "Waiter
What'H yon have, slrt
Smith flats of warm hash.
(Shouting) Plate of Browning a la Amelia
Klves.
The Extent of His Knowledge. "How
long do you think a man can go without food.
Halleyf" .
I rinn't reallr know, bat I once knew an actor v.
star g '
ss
who was out of an engagement for six months.;,
Prepared for the "Worst. "Hello, Buxton,
how's vour rich old unclef"
OH, he's as well as could be expected under ther
circumstances. - ;
'What's the matter with him?"
Well, he's dead.' Timt.
A Great Mistake "Willis I am sorry
that your wife opened that business letter I sent
you, Harris. You told me that she never opened
your letters.
Harris Sbo doesn't, as arnle, TVlllls; but you
see you made a great mistake to mark it, "pri
vate." The Chicago Motto. Clara Bow- much
does your dancing master charge for a lesson,"
dear? '
Maude I don't remember that U dollars and 4
cents, but pa says the hill amounts to a dressed
hog a day. ,
How bornblr bight" ,,;
"leather, bat It's graco before meat with, pa,
every time." - )e"v i
Drawing to an Empty House. Jonea
Whew I What Is It smells so d'cadrully? 5&f J
Boblnson-Uh, nothing much, only our special i
artist De Smyth has Just drawn a LJmburger '
cheese. -. J
Jones-areat Our Augustus Jupiter J ones I he "
Is a powerful artist, sure enough. '-Cl
Kobinson Well, ag to that, 1 really doa't know. i
you see he drew It at a raffle. W.lf A
Heeded Looking After. "xou mnst look ?
after your son, Uncle Tom; hols on the road tor yj
ruin. To-day I placed two nieces of nice ginger- J
bread on the table, and while! was Ont of the 'j
Ann, h ,nnr nn.nr me uiecca. .lUDU'fc kiiuw
what to make of him." , -. :
yes, missus; 'deed It war pow'fnl strange. l
uv .,.. "" r .... -c-wf a
mkjt j")