TITTSBimG ' DISPATCH, TUESDAY, h JULY " 23, '1889J
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ESTABLISHED fEBRUABY St
VoLM, No.lG6.-Ente.-edatPitUburrPostofllce,
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PITTSBURG. TUESDAY, JULY 23, 1883.
HUNTING A MIRAGE.
Further details with regard to the settle
ment of the factional troubles among the
Virginia Republicans go to show that it
is not such a clean sweep for Mahone as
was gathered from the first reports. Brady,
Langsten and Wise, anti-Mahone men, are
to get administration plums, while Mahone,
must be satisfied with administration sup
port for the Governorship and Senatorship.
It certainly is more indicative of intelli
gence and fairness on the part of Quay and
Clarkson, as agents of the administration,
to make this division of the spoils than to
dump them all into the Mahone grab-bag.
But the fact that the scheme includes the
election of Mahone to the Governorship and
Senatorship by the people ana Legislature
of Virginia indicates that even our astute
Matthew Stanley is led away by a hope
which has long been the ignitutuut of Be
publican administrations.
In view of the jeers which have been ex
pended on the Democratic chairman as a
"rainbow chaser," would it not be well for
the Republican leaders to suppress such
jests until they have ceased to pursue that
alluring but fugacious mirage of Virginia
as a Republican State?
SOMETHING TO AVOID.
The murder of a young man at a fishing
camp on the Youghiogheny serves not only
to point a moral on the subject of drinking,
but to call attention to one prominent vari
ety of it. Nothing is more healthy than
the practice of camping out, whether for
fishing, hunting or the mere enjoyment of
outdoor life; but when this is used, as it is
too frequently, merely as a cloak for settling
down in some nook to consume a large sup
ply of intoxicating beverages, its efltcts
cannot fail to be deleterious even if they
fall short of the homicide which has re
sulted in this case. Events of this nature
should enforce upon fishing, hunting and
camping clubs the importance of drawing a
line of strong demarcation between them
selves and drinking clubs.
WE DON'T WANT IT.
It may be uncertain how much founda
tion there is for the report that President
Harrison sternly suppressed a project of
Secretary Blaine's for the annexation of
Hayti, but there is no doubt that the posi
tion credited to the President by that report
is exactly the correct one. Whatever ac
quisitions may be desirable for the United
States in the way of new territory, there is
one thing which we do not want, and that is
the addition to our popnlation of a people
whose theory of political agitation is to cut
the throats of the entire membership of the
opposite party.
Recent events in Hayti should be suffi
cient to convince any thinking Americans
that the absorption of this population to our
citizenship would be something which we
could not afford to accept as a gift with the
Dominican Islands thrown in. We are in
no such need of territory that we must ac
cept with it a half-civilized and ignorant
population, notoriously ready to resort to
civil war, and possessed of a record which
warrants serious doubts of its capacity for
self-government. The United States does
not want any fresh territory at such a price.
If Secretary Blaine had been urging such a
project, he has committed a worse blunder
than he did in connection with the Peruvian
guano fields.
A NEEDED INSTITUTION.
The growth of the Southside Hospital, as
reported in our local columns, shows the
need of that locality for such an institution,
and contains a gratifying promise that the
seed is to be better supplied in the future
than in the past. Of course the Southside
has shared in the use of the city hospitals,
but its distinct separation from the rest of
the city and its character as a manufact
uring district make it as necessary for it to
have hospital facilities of its own as it was
for Allegheny. It is to the credit of the
Southside people that they have made an
effort to meet the want and are enlarging
the scope of their institution on their own
resources.
THESE ABE OUB FAH.UBES.
The path of the United States Govern
ment to naval greatness does not seem to
be altogether strewn with roses. To bal
ance the high laudations of the Baltimore,
as a first-class fighting vessel, comes the
fact that the new gunboat Petrel, which has
just had a trial trip, is a comparative
failure, having shown only 13 knots
as her top rate of speed, while vessels of the
same class are being built abroad that make
from 20 to 25 knots under similar circum
stances. The disappointment over the failure of a
vessel or two like the Petrel and the
Charleston need not discourage our nation
in the work of building a navy. We
can afford a few failures. But it
seems necessary to warn the naval construct
ors and their friends who report the trial
trips, that it will not do to lie abont them.
Glowing reports of the trial trip of the
Charleston, inspired, possibly by the
champagne on board the vessel, were sent
East only to have it discovered in due
course of time that the be-puffed ship was a
failure, at least till alterations were made.
A little more discretion was used with re
gard to the Petrel's trial trip, but it took
several days to let the fact out that she is a
very slow coach. Since the truth is bound
to come out sooner or later, why sot tell it
at once, and shame the constructors of slow
vessels?
TO JAIL WITH HIM.
Carlisle D. Graham is the high-sounding
name of a nillv crank who wants to ra over
the Niagara Tails in a barrel. He made an
i
experiment with a barrel like that which he
proposes to use himself last Sunday after
noon. The barrel was smashed to smither
eens at the foot of the falls. The barrel
was Mr. Graham's property, and he had a
perfect right to destroy it if he so willed.
Had he traveled inside the barrel and met
a very disagreeable death under the huge
cataract, his fate would have not moved us
very much, although we believe the law
ought to prevent nominally sane people
from insanely risking their lives.
But we do most heartily protest against
the mean cruelty of this man Graham. He
put a Newfoundland dog in the barrel, and
of course it was dashed to pieces with the
flimsy craft Afraid to venture his own life
in a crazy act from which he alone could
possibly benefit, he took the life of a poor
dumb brute. There must be a few men at
Niagara Palls who have hearts, but they
seem to be sleeping. They ought to pack
Mr. Graham and his crotchets off to jail
without a day's delay. The Society for the
Prevention of Cruelty to Animals ought to
act, if the people at Niagara Falls will not
do their duty. It is bad enough to allow moon
struck mountebanks to convert the falls
into a circus arena for their cheap feats.
They must not be permitted to put dogs to
death in the most cruel fashion imaginable.
A TEA-POT TEMPEST.
The concurrence of Select Council yester
day in the ordinance for -the widening of
Diamond street disposes of thematter so far
as the city is concerned. If any grievance
grow out of it, the. Court must settle such.
But if the parties in interest act fairly all
round there will be no grievance. That it
will pay to act unfairly is by no means
clear. The facts about the ordinance are
simple enough. They were made very plain
by a communication signed "Property
Holder" in yesterday's Dispatch. Virtu
ally they amount to this, viz., that property
onTJiamond alley which never brought over
$600 to $800 per foot became suddenly sal
able in the market at $1,200 per foot
so soon as the widening was spoken
of, and will be held probably at
$1,600 to $2,000 per foot when the widening
is done. The Viewers' estimate of damages
runs somewhere from $400 to $500 per foot.
It will be seen that the abutting property
can well afford to pay for the widening and
still have a handsome surplus of value at
the new prices. The city will also gain in
the increased value of the property for tax
able purposes, not so much as "Property
Holder" claims, but still largely. As
sessments lately were an average of prob
ably not over $600 to $800 per foot, if
so much. If they increase to 2,000
per foot, as is not unlikely in the event of
the widening, they will bring an additional
$20,000 per year or so to the city treasury in
taxes. So evident is the further consider
ation that a wide thoroughfare, in place of a
narrow alley, will be a public convenience,
that everybody admits it without argument.
All now remaining to be guarded against
is any attempt on the part of the persons
who have got the widening through to shift
the paying of damages to the city. Through
their agents, they disclaim any such pur
pose. But even if they were to try, they
should not be successful. The Viewers have
declared their intention of assessing the
cost upon the property on the street which
is so enormously benefited, and the Courts
will doubtless.ustain that view. Moreover,
it is not sure that any contest will be made;
and if the benefits are to exceed the dam
ages in the volume which those interested
advertise, any attempt at evasion by them
would be in exceeding bad grace.
As for paying a fair price for the prop
erty taken to widen the street, that is the
one point on which there is least liable to.be
injustice. The Viewers will have the mar
ket to go by; and if the Viewers do not give
enough the Courts stand ready to rectify
errors and make a fair valuation in this,
just as in any other such case.
So it will be seen that there is precious
little in the tea-pot tempest which has
been brewing with a froth of adjectives over
the ordinance, unless the abutters who
petitioned for and urged the improvement
have a deep and dark design to saddle the
cost on the city; which would be so ex
tremely fresh, considering their profits and
their protestations, and so hopeless, as
against the pledge of the Viewers and the
sense of justice in the Courts, that on the
whole we do not think such an unhand
some trick will be attempted.
0UB HELP FBOM OUTSIDE.
The DisrATCH always appreciates its
esteemed local cotemporaries according to
their varying deserts, but never more than
when they contribute generously of their
time and energies to the correction of any
error of type or sense, real or imaginary.big
or little, trifling or important, which they
find in their constant evidently careful scan
ning of these columns.
It is by such careful supervision and
prompt attention by our neighbors, next to
ourselves, that we are enabled to printa paper
from day to day which, while containing such
a vast quantity of news on all subjects from
far and near, is .habitually so accurate that
a mistake on any point becomes atmce a
subject for comment and surprise.
How much our esteemed cotemporaries
stimulate us to the watchfulness which se
cures this result, we hesitate to say, but it
is highly gratifying that they so fully rec
ognize how important it is that The Dis
tatch shall always be right. That is cor
rectly esteemed the first of all considera
tions. If in their zeal to promote this object
they sometimes blunder themselves,
"correct most generally things in The
Dispatch which are already right, and
volunteer on their own part as right sugges
tions which are absurdly wrong, even that
is no matter. Motive, not capacity, is
to be considered.
The Dispatch is so busy with time and
space that it has no room for separate
acknowledgements to its esteemed cotempo
raries, but it bows its thanks to one and all
just the same. We hope they will continue'
giving us the benefit of their serviceable
talents in making this paper as nearly per
fect as it is possible for a newspaper to be.
That is the standard aimed at.
THE INFLUENCE AGAINST CANALS.
A very striking example of the influences
which have led to the abandonment of canal
transportation for heavy freights was fur
nished last wees: in connection with the
Chesapeake and Ohio canal. A committee
from "Williamsport, Md., visited the man
agers ef the canal, urging the repair and
reopening of an abandoned section of the
canal between Williamsport and Cumber
land. The managers, however, were of
opinion that this could not be done, as it
would cost $50,000, which could only be
raised by the sale of bonds that have de
preciated to 10 cents on the dollar. To this
the committee responded by offering to
make the repairs for $25,000 and to look to
future receipts for reimbursement, if allowed
to operate it themselves. But.this was also
refused on the ground that the company
had no power to turn over the canal to out
side parties.
The true motive back of these excuses is
well known. Powerful railroad influences
are interested in the abandonment 'of the
canal, and their opposition to its restoration
is what convinces the managers of the canal
that their duty to the company requires
them to let the canal go to ruin rather than
accept outside aid la repairing it. The
same influences were powerful in securing
the abandonment of the Western Pennsyl
vania canals; and will be active in oppos
ing the Ohio and Lake Erie canal project.
But should not the activity of railroad
influences iu opposition to the canals be a
very strong argument to show the public
interest in the revival and improvement of
canals for heavy freights?
The Exposition loan is announced to be
a success; but it is sot what it should be.
Loaning money on good security to a publio
project is one thing, and starting the enter
prise on its career free of encumbrance is
another. Pittsburg has money enough to
do the latter, add it ought not to be devoid
of the pablic spirit necessary to do it.
Among the rules for hot -weather con
duct which have been turned out this year
is that offered by the New York Journal to
this effect: "Eat good icecream slowly, if you
canget.it, in hot weather." How to eat bad
icecream is not stated, but the average
young man who has to pay for the icecream
will not worry on that account. His trouble
is in finding out how to settle the bill, and
he is able to rely upon his best girl for being
able to solve the problem of how to eat it,
whether it is good or bad, without any
danger of being retired from active service.
The application of the Western Union
Telegraph for an injunction to prevent the
organization of a long distance telephone
plant, is a new and rather unique expres
sion of the telegraph company's idea that if
the laws cannot be made to support its
monopoly there is no use in having any
laws at all.
The fact that the boodle alderman, Mo
Quade, was acquitted on a second trial at
Ballston, arouses the sarcastic comments of
the New York press to the effect that while
the thieves. do not get convicted, the lawyers
have a good time at the fashionable summer
resort near by. But why New York should
sneer at such results does not appear in the
circumstances of the case. For what pur
pose was their District Attorney elected ex
cept to secure the escape of public thieves
from justice, and do it in the pleasantest
and most agreeable manner possible?
Webe the city officials wrong when they
abandoned street-sweeping machines for
washing the pavement with hose a few
years ago, or are they wrong in abandon
ing the hose for street-sweeping machines
now?
A statement appears to the effect that
a Cincinnati man used 10,000 gallons of
water in sprinkling his lawn last year.
This affords a solution to the problem which
has always presented itself to outsiders as to
what Cincinnati did with its water supply
anyhow. No one ever accused Cincinnati
of drinking it, and surface indications that
it was used for washing were always some
what scaree, especially in the regions over
the Rhine.
The Insurrection of Crete against Turkey
is likely to command as fnll sympathy from
the world at large as the insurrection of
Turkey against Russia.
These Is some satisfaction in the infor
mation that Private Detective Norris has
made an attempt to arrest Kilrain and
failed through deficiencies and informali
ties in'his requisition. No one would ob
ject to having the prize fighter fined; but it
is highly satisfactory to have a private de
tective who first sells himself to law break-'
ers, and then turns around against them,
get a decided set back.
The speak-easies seem to be maintaining
their existence by virtue of the rule that
what is everybody's business is nobody's
business.
Secretary Busk "declares that he has
no doubt that President Harrison will be
renominated in 1892. Secretary Rusk is
not in a position to have any doubts upon
that subject. For a broad and unhampered
opinion the public should ,go to Statesman
Horr, of Michigan, who is asserted to enter
tain an ill-concealed opinion to the effect
that this administration is a failure.
Dolxab oil seems to be a point that the
market can hold on to a little longer than it
could when the producers had a big bundle
of oil.
The allusious of'envious St. Louis papers
to Chicago's hay crop have aroused the
wrath of the Chicago editors, who are now
retorting with comparisons as to which city
has the most useless set of detectives. This
fact makes it evident that while Chicago's
hay crop may b e short, as alleged, it has at
present a full supply of cabbage heads.
PEOPLE OP PE0MINENCE.
Mrs. IavEitMOBE is hard at work upon a
new address, the title of which, will be "Twenty-five
Years on the Lecture Platform."
Hon. Geovee Cleveland will set out on a
two weeks' yachting cruise about August L
Colonel D. S. Lamont will accompany him.
William A. Pinxebtok, the Chicago de
tective, says he cannot understand why the
English detectives hare failed to discover Jack
the Bipper.
The wealth 8f the 300 citizens Mayor Grant
called together to consider the holding of a
great exposition in New York in ISO foots up,
it is said, $1,500,000,000.
Chief Judge Geohqe Yellott, of the
Thira Maryland district, has retired from the
bench on account of age, after 22 years' contin
uous service. He is over three-score and ten.
Charles M. Reed, of Erie, offers to pay off
the debt of that city, amounting to $1,100,000, if
it will give him the water works. The revenue
from the water works service last year amount
ed to SHOOO.
Sikce going to Deer Park President Harri
son has attained considerable reputation as a
story-teller. His conversation has kept every
body laughing, and he says himself that he has
been enjoying every moment of his outing.
A Washington dispatch says: A friend of
Wbltelaw Reid and William Walter Phelps
said to-day: "Both Beld and Phelps will re
sign their missions within a year. Neither
wanted the mission he got, for both wanted
the mission to England; but neither could de
cline very well, Phelps less easily than Beid,
considering the way the German mission was
offered to biin."
Rose Hawthoiute Lathrop Is spending
the summer at New London, and so is tho
other poetess, Edith Thomas. The latter is
very delicate, and so fragile looking it is a pop
ular belief up there that she carries stones In
her pocket to keep ber irom blowing away
when the sound breezes are keen. She and
her sister lire very quietly and appear to be en
J oying their summer rest.
The Illinois Central Railroad Is abont to lose
its general manager. Edward T. Jeffery, who
has served the company for several years in
that capacity and for a long term tof years in
various other capacities, has placed bis resigna
tion In the hanas of President Stuyresant
Fish to take tffect upon its acceptance by that
official. He entered the service of the railroad
in 1856 as office boy in the offlee of the Superin
tendent of Machinery.
THE TOPICAL TALKER,
The Plymouth Bock Yellow Foot Fashion
Juvenile Bandit The Austrian Em
peror's TJnhnppy Lot.
Shoes of undressed leather mty be comforta
ble to the feet, may suggest in some sort
breezy thoughts of sea sands and sab-parasol
flirtations, but they are not calculated to make
the foot of man or woman appear small. See
ing how generally they are worn this season,
the matter is of some importance.
Actually in an Allegheny street car the other
day I thoughM was in Chicago when I looked
over the yjllow feet of the passengers, most ot
whom were ladies. And a man of, high stature
and acute lankness who crossed Smithfleld
street in front of me yesterday appeared to
have his feet encased in bright yellow satchels,
so exaggerated by the undressed leather shoes
was the size of his feet.
By the way, Plymouth Bock chickens are
putting on airs this summer. They are leading
the fashion in the tint of their pedal extremi
ties. .
These Is nothing so unprofitable as making
corrections. Especially in a column such as
this, which does not pretend to be full of
authority, and is moderately intended to enter
tain rather than instruct. A few days ago a
couplet from Goldsmith's poem "An Elegy on
the Death of a Mad Dog," was quoted here and
attributed to "The Vicar of Wakefield." Some
goodnatured correspondent Informed me that
X had been mistaken in so doing, and foolishly.
witnont looiting at "The vicar oi wakefleld,"
X accepted the correction.
Since then I have received a number of letters
correcting the correction, and on reference to
Goldsmith's novel, of course, I found that the
oriicinal statement was perfectly accurate. Tho
joke is not on my amiablo correspondents, the
correctors.
.
"The juvenile desire for money in these
days," said a parent to me yesterday, "is pro
ductive of expedients for raising the wind that
are simply remarkable. My eldest boy; not yet
6, Is no better than the rest. He seems to con
centrate his intellect upon plans for attacking
my pocketbook. His latest is to meet me as I
come up home from the train. Nine times out
of ten I have a friend with me, and if I have my
boysays, after a very brief greeting: "Say.papa,
give me 10 cents you haven't given me a cent
since Christmas.'
"I'd seem to be a very mean man if I did not
fork ont the dime; so the youngster gets what
he wants. He's worked this racket on me
twice. He'll ha ve a new one for me in a day or
two."
AN American newspaperman happened to
say that he found it very tiresome to have to
read a score of exchanges every morning, and
among those who heard him make the remark
in the smoking room of the New York and Chi
cago limited was an Austro-Hunganan diplo
mat; "How, then," Inquired the Austrian, "would
voullke my imperial master's task? Every
morning the Emperor reads more or less of the
contents of U papers, each of which is printed
in a different dialect. He has to speak and
read every language in which his subjects con
verse, and there are no less than 14 languages
or essentially distinct dialects spoken in his
Empire.
"Tnis multiplicity of tongues In the Austro
Hungarian Empire is veryannoying. The Par
liament, or Reichstag, as it is called, has just
come ont of a protracted debate upon the
question of reporting the proceedings of the
House, and it is settled that only the speeches
made in German shall be taken and recorded
by the official stenographers. Amemberofthe
Reichstag may still speak in his native tongue
if he pleases, but he must understand that
what he says will not be" reported or printed.
This decision has caused considerable dissatis
faction among the delegates from districts
where German is not spoken. Still, German is
the language of intercourse In the Austrian
Empire, and, with French, is the language of
Austria's diplomacy also.
10TE KNOWS NO "CLASS.
A Farm Hand Elopes With the Daughter of
His Rich Employer.
rSrZCtU. TELEOBAJf TO TDK DISrATC.!
Syracuse, N. Y July 22. Hiram Hoyt, a
young man whose home Is in Onondaga Valley,
has been working for several weeks for Milo
Shattuck, a farmer on the road between James
ville and Pompey Hill. Shattuck has a"jgood
looking daughter, Mamie, to whom Hoyt is
said to have made advances. Hoyt pretended
to be sick on Saturday morning, and Mr. and
Mrs. Shattuck were coming to Syracuse in the
afternoon, Hoyt said he would ride to the city
with them. Hoyt has a brother, who is the
Delaware, Lackawanna and Western Railroad
telegraph operator at Bock Cat. It is related
that when they came to the crossing, Hoyt said
he would stay with bis brother until Sir. Shat
tuck returned. A few minules latter a young
man drove up, and Mr. Hoyt went back to the
farm.
Later on Hoyt invited Miss Shattuck to ride
to Pompey with him, saying that he wanted to
see Dr. Dibble. The story is that the girl got
in with him, and when they came to a secluded
spot Hoyt asked her to marryhim, threatening
to shoot her if she did not consent Hoyt then
proposed to go toManliusand get married. The
ceremony was performed there. After spend
ing a short time in Manilas, Hoyt concluded to
go to his home in Onondaga Valley with bis
bride. Before starting a note was hastily
penned to the parents of Mrs. Hoyt, asking for
forgiveness for their act The note was signed
"Hiram and Mamie."
The horse and carriage that Hoyt had were
borrowed from a farmer who lives near Mr.
Shattuck, and the young couple returned to
his house. They then went to Hoyt's home.
Mr. Shattuck, on learning of the escapade,
aroused a neighbor and drove to Onondaga
Valley, arriving about 3 o'clock this morning at
Hoyt's mother's bouse. He found Hoyt and
his daughter at the house. Shattuck persuaded
bis daughter to return home with bim, but
Hoyt remained at the valley. Hoyt was seen
about the village this forenoon, and it is said
that b.e has not been arrested.
A Basket Picnic.
The Allegheny lodges of L O. O.FM McFar
lane No. SO, Twin City No. 241, Manchester No.
403, Bobert Blum No. 414, Fidelia No. 415,
R. Blddlo Roberts No. 630, James L. Graham
No. 690 and Park Lodge No. 973 will have their
sixth annual outing and basket picnic at Forest
urove to-morrow. xoe memuers win assemDle
at the Pittsburg and Western depot at 8 o'clock
to-morrow morning. Tte Gernert and Ouen
ther orchestra will attend the excursion and
furnish the music for the party.
A Gypsy Camp.
The young ladles of Sewickley Society held a
grand Gypy encampment in McDonald's
Grove near Sewickley yesterday. A number of
tents had been erected and the ladles spent a
very enjoyable time. During the afternoon all
kinds of games were indulged in by the younger
people.
In the evening the! Gernert and Guenther
orchestra arrived in the grove from the city
and a grand concert was given by them.
Society Whisperings.
THE friends of Mr. Thomas O'Neil, of Hiland
avenue, East End, will hold a grand Iawnfete
at the residence of that gentleman on next
Thursday. y
The United Workmen of this city will have
a grand reunion atBellevue on Thursday, and
the Gernert and Guenther's orchestra will tar
nish the music to them for a grand concert.
To-mokkow evening the annual series of
dances will be commenced at the Idlewood
Hotel, on the Panhandle Railroad, and they
will be continued every Wednesday during
July and August.
The Gernert andGuenthers will give their
fourth concert of the season at Sewickley on
next Friday evening. An elegant programme
from the music of the best known classic com
posers has been arranged.
Miss Mabt O. Wilt, daughter of E. D.
Wilt, lessee of the Opera House, and Mr. A. R.
Matcbett, son Alex. Matchett of this city,
were married at Cumberland. ML, last Satur
day. Both the parties were visiting friends in
Cumberland at the time, and the marriage was
a surprise when announced here.
DMTflS OP A DAY.
John F. Reynolds.
Cujton, O., July 22. Canton was shocked to
day on hearing the news of the sudden death at
his residence ol John F. Beynolds, one of the
city's leading citizens and most public spirited
men. He arose at 7 o'clock this morning, and
while in the act or dresslrg- fell back on the bed
and expired shortly after. Mr. Beynolds was
born in Canton In IS7. He organized the Canton
Gas Company in lS55and conducted that business
successfully until 1837. when he retired from busi
ness, disposing of the eras plant ton Philadelphia
company. 11 o was a director and the heaviest
stockholder or The City .National Bank, a lead
ing: number of tue Board of Trade, the Law and
Order League. Humane Society and the Presby
terian Church. He toot an especial interest In
the Y. M. O. A. and started the movement for the
erection of the S30,oco Association building; now in
course of construction, '
toe capacity op benatobs.
A Good Story That Was Told by the Into
Simon Cameron,
From the New York Tribune.
Early In the year 1S77 and just before his
resignation of his seat In the Senate, General
Simon Cameron was asked by an intimate
friend to give an oflnion respecting the com
parative ability shown by the "average" Sena
tor at the iime of his first election and that
shown by his colleagues of the later date,
"Well,"replled Mr. Cameron, 'In my opinion,
the average standing and capacity of Senators
now aro much higher than I found when X first
entered Congress. Our population has vastly
Increased; our business relations, both between
ourselves and with foreign countries, have
widened almost beyond belief; new questions,
both social, political and national, of a magni
tude hitherto undreamed of, are constantly
arising; in fact, a Senator of the present day.
who worthily fills bis chair, mnst be a many
sided man, and a legislator of marked ability."
And here the old gentleman smiled, with a
roguish twinkle in his eye as he proceeded:
"It didn't take very much of a man to fill
that particular bill when I was first elected to
the United States Senate, and your Inquiry re
calls to my mind the views expressed upon that
very same subject by Senator Blank many
years ago. Coming up to me one afternoon
after a somewhat heated debate he remarked:
" 'Well, Cameron, when I first came here, to
Washington, and was sworn in. I gazed wonder
ingly around upon onr magnificent surround
ings, and noticed all about me men who bore
noble names and of national celebrity, where
upon I modestly asked myself 'How in tbe
Lord's name did you happen to get beref
After 1 had filled my chair, however, for
several months, all that sortot thing seemed
changed to me, the gilt was worn off the ginger
bread, so that I placidly surveyed the Vang'
around me and said to myself. 'How in Sheol
did all these other blank, blank fools get here,
anyway?"
SUNSET C0I ANGRY. .
An Article In Russell Harrison's Paper
Araasra the CoBirenmin's Ire,
WASHIKOToh) July 22. In a dispatch from
Mammoth Hot Springs, Wyo., to his private
secretary here. Congressman S. S. Cox says be
is about to leave for Helena, Mont, In accord
ance with his plans, to call on some relatives
there, but that he is In doubt abont stopping at
Helena, because Bussell Harrison's paper has
made a bitter attack upon him. It is evidently
because Mr. Cox made tbe Fourth of July
oration at Huron, Dak., that Harrison's paper
has attacked him. It was an entirely non-partisan
oration and delivered at tbe invitation and
to tho evident satisfaction of tbe people of
Dakota, irrespective of party, and Mr. Cox
feels so much chagrined at the unjustifiable
attack made upon him by President Harrison's
son's paper that he apparently contemplates
denying himself the visit which he had in
tended and which would have been purely of a
personal and domestic nature.
Considering what he has done in Congress
for all the Territories, and the fact that for
years he has been an intimate personal friend
of PresidonfHarrlson, Mr. Cox feels keenly"
aggrlored for the nncslled-for attack made by
young Harrison's paper. Mr. Cox carefully
arranged his trip so as to avoid any possible
contact with the Constitutional Convention or
with the internal politics of Montana.
POSTAL NEEDS OF NEW YORK.
Tbe Recommendations of Two Postmasters
Sustnincd la New York.
Washington, July 22. The report of the
commission appointed by Postmaster General
Wanamaker to examine the New York Post
offlceln all Its branches has been made public.
It is voluminous and elaborate, covering with
great fullness and detail the ground traversed
by tbe commission in Its three weeks of investi
gation of the main postofflco and 17 branch
postoffices. The commission, while recom
mending liberal increases in tbe number of
clerks and carriers and larger accommodations
generally for the office and the service, still
recommends much less than was constantly
and urgently demanded by the late Postmaster
Pearson and has been asked by the present
Postmaster Van Cott
Their recommendations as postmasters were
for some 190 additional clerks, at an increased
expense of $273,000 for them, and for additional
compensation to the present force, and for US
additional carriers. The commission recom
mend 123 additional clerks and 10 additional
carriers at an increased cost of $S7,000, an in
crease which, it says, is fully justified by tbe
constantly Increasing receipts of the postofflco
itself, which shows an increase ot 11.010,000 dur
ing the last three fiscal years.
What Legislature Irfick.
From the Cincinnati Commercial Gazette.1
In all Legislatures there should boa special
Committee .on Common Sense, to wbich all
bills should be referred. Had there been such
a committee In the Minnesota Legislature, and
had it been worthy of its name, then that body
would not have made a laughing-stock of it
self by passing a law prohibiting newspapers
from publishing particulars of executions.
The Attorney General has given it as his
opinion that the law is unconstitutional.
Moral Froiress In Philadelphia.
From the Philadelphia Times. 1
We have got pretty near to that high state of
decorum in Philadelphia that was observed by
Hudibras in his travels when ho came to a
place where they were
Hanging a cat on Monday
For killing of a mouse on Sunday.
Tbe Hidden Hand at Harris'.
A company beaded by Miss Bonnie Myers
and R. W. Trelegan yesterday began a week's
engagement at Harris' Theater In that old fa
vorite comedy drama, "Tbe Hidden Hand."
Tbe audiences at both performances were of
very good size, especially for warm weather,
and thejubilee singers' songs and the special
ties of Ed McHugh gave great satisfaction.
A Difficult Problem.
From tbe Chicago Times. 1
Alexander Graham Bell calculates that a
mother in talking to her Infant child speaks
35,000 words a day. Now let htm calculate how
many words a day the mother talks" to tho
grown-up child's husband during his first year
of married life If he can.
One Truthful Mnn In Baltimore
From the Baltimore American.:
A Baltimore man acknowledges that he
fished a whole day without catching anything.
His friends are undecided just what to do,
whether to erect a monument to his veracity or
get a spirit medium to transmit his name to
Diogenes.
New Gang-era at Cincinnati,
Washington, July 22. The Secretary of
the Treasury has appointed tbe following store
keepers and gangers: David L. Day, James L
Qniretton, Samuel McKeehan and John
Kichey at Cincinnati, O.
A Safe Betreat for Boodlers.
From the New Xork Herald. 1
We hate to disagree with such a pleasant
and good natured man as Colonel Fellows, but
It is our opinion that the boodlers who are now
living in Canada may safely return to New
York.
A Worse Tlmo Coming:.
From the Minneapolis Journal.l
You may not like this weather but you ought
not to complain. Just think, it is less thanf our
months till Congress meets.
London's Dead Police,
From the New York World. 3
None of Jack the Ripper's victims is so thor
oughly dead as the London police.
FOOLS AND THEIR JfOLLIES.
He who Is born a tool Is never cured. Pro
verb. Enjot your little while the fool Is seeking
for more.
A pool always finds a greater fool that ad
mires him. Prorero.
The fool may be depended upon to keep a
secret If he does not know It
He is a fool that praises himself and he a
madman that speaks ill of himself.
The fool jolneth church thinking he will be
able to enter heaven In the crowd.
The reason the fool said it "In his heart"was
because be bad no head to speak of.
The wise man hlreth his pence, while the
fool expendeth his substance in the purchase
of nose paint
The fool paddles somebody else's canoe and
carries all his grist to another's mill. Blott
and BtcmUKct. t
"A tool may sometimes say a wise thine"
just as a wise man may sometimes say a fool
ish thing. -Florida Times-Union.
CURES FOR IHSOMHIA.
Simple Remedies for a Disease Hard to
Overcome Pare Air and Mental Quiet
Absolutely Necessary The Best Position
for Ihe Sleeper.
Sleeplessness is dangerous. It will prevent
the rebuilding of tbe body after sickness, and
will waste away the most robust If not checked.
And. worst than all, It Is a prolific source of
madness. To become unable to sleep soundly
or even reasonably well, is cause for serious
alarm. It is also a source of great suffering.
Any remedy, therefore, wbich will induce sleep
to kiss the eyelids which have wooed the
drowsy god in vain, will prove a boon to every
one. The causes of Insomnia are legion, but
outside of general nervous debility and chronic
disorder of the nervous system, whether caused
from mental or nervous disease, or from some
injury to the nerve centers, the causes of sleep
lessness may be put down as anything that
causes tbe blood to flow to the brain in in
creased quantities. Strong physical exercise,
rapid breathing, or deep thought will, accord
ing to the best authorities, conduce to bring
about a state ot sleeplessness. And unless
checked It will grow until it becomes veiy
serious. It may be stated, as a fact overlooked
by many who find themselves unable to sleep,
that their Insomnia arises from carelessness on
their part in failing to observe certain easily
ascertained rules in regard to sleeping.
. The Best Time to Sleep.
Tbe body can not sleep while the brain is
excited. Anything .which, will diminish the
flow of blood. to the brain will allay excitement
Very deep, slow, and -quite respiration will
soothe the brain to a great degree, and, at the
same time, serve the purpose of detracting the
attention of tho mind from the matters which
may disturb it Moderate heat, monotony of
sound, and darkness tend to make one sleepy.
Tho only effect of darkness is to shut out ex
ternal objects and thus assist in quieting the
mind. The notion that sleep obtained in the
daytime is not beneficial bas no reason to sup
port it Sleep is sleep, and. If one can sleep
soundly and well in the daytime, it serves the
same purpose as sleep obtained at night But
few people can do this on account of the light
and noise. Hencetbeold but erroneous idea
that only sleep at night could thoroughly rest
and recuperate tbe body and mind after their
labors. This is abundantly proven in the case
of infants and convalescents. Both sleep in
daytime equally as well as at night and both
grow more while sleeping than while awake.
Pore Air a Necessity.
Cool, fresh air is the best to sleep in. Ex
treme heat and closeness of the air tend to pre
vent sleep, as does profuse perspiration. The
teeth should be well cleaned and the mouth
rinsed before going to sleep. After all these
necessary rules hare been observed, and still
sleep refuses to come at the bidding of the
pleading eyelids, one may be sure they aro
suffering from insomnia, and should seek to in
duce sleep by any means. But how to do this
has been tbe question with many, and physi
cians are called in and soothing potions taken,
all of which will fall in nine cases out of ten.
But what, then, is to be done? This is what
thousands ot sleepless persons have asked.
There are many sure and simple remedies. Tbe
most celebrated remedy was that of a Mr.
Gardner, of England. It was known to the
entire reading world about SO years ago,
but baring been out of print in recent
years only older people remember It
Physicians who make a specialty of
nervous diseases are familiar with it, and re
commend it in nearly all coses where a patient
suffers from Insomnia. Mr. Gardner was a
man of wealth and culture, and had accumu
lated a number of remedies, such as for allay
ing thirst where liquids could not be procured,
for temporarily appeasing the pangs of hunger
and for improving the eyesight by certain In
geniously contrived glasses. Ho became a great
sufferer from insomnia, caused by an injury to
his spine from falling out of a chaise. His suf
ferings were Intense for years, until he discov
ered the remedy which never failed to induce
sleep in him whenever tried, and which is said
to hare never failed on any one who bas tried
it and reported on their success. Its publica
tion caused a great stir at the time, both in tbe
medical world and among the people generally.
Remedies for InsomnIa.lt
Mr. Gardner said: "Tho sufferer who wishes
to sleep must lie on his right side, with his
head placed comfortably on the pillow, having
his neck straight so that respiration will not
be hindered in the least The lips are then to
be closed slightly and a full inspiration taken,
breathing throngh the nostrils only if possible.
The full inspiration taken, the lungs are to be
left to their own action. Attention must now
be fixed upon the respiration. The person
must Imagine that he sees the breath pass from
his nostrils in a continuous stream. like steam
from an exhaust pipe. Tbe instant he brings
his mind to conceive that he thus sees his
breath, and. grasping this idea apart -from all
others, consciousness leaves him and be falls
asleep. If this method does not at once suc
ceed it is to be persevered in, and, if properly
carried out, is believed to be Infallible. It is
founded on tbe principle that monotony or the
influence on the mind of a single idea induces
sleep." The above has been tried in many dif
ferent forms that is, the idea has been carried
out on the same principle. Thus, Sir Thomas
Brown found it a good soporific to repeat some
verses on wbich the well-known evening hymn
is rounded. KaDelals tens us oi some monus
who, when wakeful, resolutely set themselves
to prayer, and, before they bad said bait a
dozen aves or paternosters, would tall sound
asleep. The same thing is noticed in our
churches to this day by people who are not
monks.
Some Noted Sufferer.
Ben Franklin took his air bath, going through
the imaginary aDlutfons as if in a pool, and was
thus always able to produce sleep, though he
suffered with insomnia to a great degree. Prof.
Agasslz, the great scientist suffered a great
deal from sleeplessness, and used to soothe his
mind to rest by gently waving bis right hand in
the air as if making a figure eight very slowly.
Audubon, the naturalist induced sleep by
closing his eyes and breathing slowly and regu
larly and rolling bis eyeballs downward as if
looking at his feet through the closed lids.
"Old Hickory" Jackson sometimes suffered
from insomnia, and is said to have always
counted 1,000 at least that he always started
out with bis mind fixed on tbe task of counting
ten hundred, but that he said he never reached
that number before he would drop off into un
consciousness. A Strong; Recommendation.
These remedies are an simple and worth try
ing: They have the weight of great authority
and have the testimony of thousands who have
tried them as to tbelr efficacy. As sleepless
ness is a common complaint, and as it is dan
gerous if not checked, it is worth while for any
one suffering thus to try tbe suggestions. Tbcy
are founded on reason and on what tbe best
authorities give as being the surest method of
Booming me Drain ana mina into quieiuae ana
rest monotony and concentration on one idea.
Texas CJlven aa Office.
Washington. July 22. The Secretary of
tho Treasury to-day appointed Charles Hedges,
of Texas, to be chief of a division in the Sixth
Auditor's office, vice C. T. Mitchell, resigned.
Insecure Support.
From the Troy Times. 1
People who lire beyond their means are
simply dangling from a rope which Is hitched
to nothing at the upper end.
THE WOOING OF THE SOUTHLAND.
tALASBUN BALLAD.
The Northland reared bis hoary head
And spied the Southland leagues away
Falrstorallfalr brides,"he said,
"Be thou my bride I pray?' '
Whereat tbe Southland laughed and cried;
I'll bide beside my native sea,
And I shall never be thy bride.
Till thou com'st wooing me!"
The Northland's heart was a heart'of lee,
A diamond glacier, mountain high
Ob, love is sweet at any price,
As well know you ana; II
So gayly the Northland took bis heart.
And cast it In the walling sea
"Go. thou, with all thv cunning art
And woo my bride for me!"
For many a night and for many a day.
And over the leagues that rolled between,
Tbe true-heart messenger sped away
To woo the Southland queen.
Bat the sea wailed loud, and tbe sea walled long
While ever the Northland cried In gleer
"Oh. thou shalt sing us our bridal song.
When comes my bride, O seal"
At the foot of the Southland's golden throne
The heart of the Northland ever throbs
For that true heart speaks in the waves that
moan.
The songs that It sings are sobs.
Ever the Southland spurns the cries
Of the messenger pleading the Northland's
part
The summer shines In the Southland's eyes
The winter bides In ber heart I '
And ever nnto that far-off place
Which love doth render a hallowed spot,
The N ortliland turheth his honest face
And wonders sue eemeth not.
Tbe sea walls loud, and the sea walls long,
Aa tbe ages or waiting drift slowly by,
But the tea shall sing no bridal song
As well know yon and 1 1
EvgentlUUt in Chicago Sties,
GLEANED IN G0THAM.-
'Bloped With Girl and Boodle.
aw TOBX BUBEAU SPECIALS.
New York. July 22. Three weeks ago
young Anthony Cohen, a clerk in a Broadway
clothing house, ate his first luncheon in the
Fuck restaurant, and incidentally made the ac
quaintance of the pretty cashier. Miss Friday
Siege!. Friday afternoon Cohen was given -by
his employers $1,200 In bills and checks, with
instructions to deposit them in the bank on his
way home. He did not go to tbe bank and he
did not go home. He went straight to the
Puck restaurant and asked Friday to go to
Coney Island with him. She went At mid
night tbe couple took a Pennsylvania Railway
train from Jersey City. No one In the city has
seen tbem or beard from them since. Inspec
tor Byrnes and his detectives are trying tor find
the runaways.
Desperate Battle With tbe Elements.
The steamship Alene, from North Hayti,
came into port this morning, after a desperate
battle with the elements. On Saturday last a
gale struck her. Thunder and lightning ac
companied it At noon the man on lookout
saw an immense ball ot fire descend like a me
teor from the murky skies, alight on tbe main
top most, glide down into the rigging, and fly
from one rope to tbe other. A second later
there was a horrible crash of thunder, and the
ship rocked as If she had struck some sub
merged wreck: For a few seconds it literally
rained splinters of wood. Tbe maintop mast
had been struck by tbe lightning and smashed
to smithereens. The Captain of the Alene re
ports that on July 11 and 12 Hippolyte tried
bard to capture Port-au-Prince, but was re
pulsed several times, with heavy losses. On
July 13 Hippolyte was driven back nine miles
to croix des Bougeneto, where be was wnentne
Aleno sailed.
Cangbt Beneath Falling Bricks.
Atall.brick chimney on a three-story tene
ment house down town collapsed at 10 o'clock
this morning. The debris crashed through the
roof and three floors to the basement, and
knocked a big hole in the front cellar wait
On the way down, the bricks swept Nicolo
Santo and Antonio Rent, with their bedsteads,
into the falling wreck. The two Italians and
half of tbe bricks were thrown into a little
second-hand clothing store on the ground
floor. Catharine Duffy and Bridget Clayton,
owners of the store, were sleeping in it when
the Italians and bricks dropped. The bed, the
bricks, the women and the Italians together
lay against the street door, holding it shut,
but guided by the yells of the four, the police
and firemen broke it open and pulled them out
They were all uninjured, save for a few
bruises.
A Wrongly-.llntcd Pair.
Mrs. Henry W. Mowrey wishes to be divorced
from Mr. Mowrey, because he has repeatedly
accused her. In tbe presence of her children, of
being unfaithful to him and because he beats
ber. Mrs. Mowrey is a member of tbe Wash
ington Avenue Baptist Church. Brooklyn. She
is a teacher in the Sunday school and a mem
ber of several charitable societies. Mr. Mow
rey is employed In a paper factory and earns
$2,000 a year. He says Mrs. Mowrey has been
long intimate with a deacon in the Washington
Avenue Church. The deacon in question is one
of Brooklyn's big men. He is a member of the
Produce Exchange and Is worth (300,000. Mrs.
Mowrey and he behaved most indiscreetly on a
recent Sunday School excursion up the Sound.
Mr. Mowrey heard of it followed up tbe clew,
and learned a story of his wife's unfaithful
ness. Mr. Mowrey himself is one of tho un
godly. He swears and la .something of a poli
tician. Papers on both sides have been filed In
the case.
Steve Dorsey Wasn't Present.
The case of Levy versus Dorsey was passed
In the Snpreme Court to-day, because no one
appeared for either plaintiff or defendant when
the case was called. The motion was for an
order directing the ex-Senator to appear for
examination In supplementary proceedings in
the suit brought against bim by A. A. Levy
upon an unsatisfied judgment for $11,000. The
judgment against Mr. Dorsey was assigned to
Mr. Levy by Moses Levy & Co., of London.
Robbed ofHIs All While Asleep.
Casper Rebling arrived here on the steam
ship City of Chester to-day. This morning, in
Castle Garden, he changed $10 in German
money, all he had, into American money. Then
he bought three bottles of beer. While he was
drinking it someone stole the remaining $9 70
from bis pocket The commissioners have
asked Collector Erhardt whether Reeling
should be sent back as a pauper.
Nobody Will Be Loser.
The F. G. Faulkner Company, dealer in Iron
pipes and .fittings, bos notified the creditors
that it will wind up. Frank G. Faulkner, the
President, has been deposed by the trustees,
and Morris E. Thayer has been made treasurer.
Faulkner started the company in May, 1SS5,
having previously been for several years a part
ner In the firm of Bird, Faulkner & Co. The
directors were dissatisfied with the way Mr
Faulkner has managed the business, and had
him deposed as President The creditors will
all be paid in full, the stockholders making
good any deficiency.
T00E TDIE BY THE FORELOCK.
An Engineer the Recipient of (GO a Week
In Sick Benefits,
If r-ICIAt. TELXGKAM TO TOX DI8PATCIT.1
MlDDLETOWlf, N. Y., July 22. Frank W.
Crandall. who claims to have sustained concus
sion and paralysis of the spine by falling down
stairs at bis home in this city the other night,
is a much insured man. He Is a stationary en
gineer in tho Anglo-Swiss Milk Condensery,
which bas a sick benefit fund wbich yields to
its temporarily disabled workmen an allow
ance of about $10 a week. In addition to this
provision. Mr. Crandall's forethought recently
suggested that be should procure a number of
Insurance policies against death or disability
by accident in some of the prominent life and
accident Insurance comDanies. Accordingly.
he took out policies which aggregate the prom
ise of $60 a week in weekly indemnities, and of
a total of 511,500 of insurance to his widow, in
case the accident proves fatal to him.
Two reputable physicians who are attending
Crandall say that be is seriously hurt and may
be crippled for life or may soon die.
Let Tbem be Counted.
From the Philadelphia Times.
If the coming census does not provide for a
separate enumeration of the office seekers an
important piece of information will bare been
allowed to get away. ,
TRI-STATE TRIFLES.
Bhebiff Wolf, of Williamsport, a few days
since made a vicious kick at a cat with his
right foot but missed the animal and struck
bis left foot instead. The blow prostrated him.
and Deing a six-footer he fell heavily. He
broke tbe fall by throwing ont his left band,
which, however, Is very sore and in a sling In
consequence.
A battxkssake with seven rattles was
killed on West Main street In Grove City the
other day.
A lotixi) couple of Burton Hollow, near
Williamsport, eloped to New York, got mar
ried and returned to ask parental forgiveness.
Instead of getting It the bride was locked In a
room by her parents, and is kept in close cus
tody, and the groom feels nettled about it
A lakqe rat while investigating a barrel of
clams in Wheeling was caught by the nose and
front foot by one of the clams and Its life
squeezed out When found the clam still
gripped it
WrLHAsr. Pehitxtackeb, of East Nant
meal, caught a fox a week ago and determined
to keep him for hunting purposes. Tbe ani
mal made its escape from the pen a few nights
ago and destroyed a brood of 33 turkeys on Mr.
Pennypacker's farm.
Mrs. Joseph Hot, of Orwigsburg, Berks
county, celebrated her 00th birthday by going
Into the fields and tying up half a dozen
sheaves of wheat
A ghost in tho shape of a large, black dog
has been seen near Idlewild, In the Lehigh
mountains.
Two ladles at Sbubert, Burks county, at
tacked and killed a large rattlesnake which
had ten rattles,
A SrETjiiEsvrLi.E girl, 19 years of age,
pretty and Intelligent, has never been fire
miles from her home and says ihe baa no (de
sire to travel. ,
CURIOUS CONDENSATIONS. -.
A Dakota fanner holds that the failure of
the wheat crop Is largely due to the work of
gophers.
Bloomington, HI., bakers have been cut
ting prices until they have got bread down to
2 cents a loat.
The tallest chimney in this country is
tbe new suck of the Clark Thread Company,
at Kearneynear Newark, N. J. It Is a circu
lar shaft 3oo feet high and 2K feet in diameter
at the base. This chimney cost $30,000, and
contains 1,637,000 bricks.
Martha Cobble, of Owensboro, Ky., a
colored woman formerly a slave, has searched
40 years for ber two sons who were sold to a
New Orleans trader when they were 8 and 10
years of age. Recently she learned the where
abouts of both and was madebappy by a visit
from one of tbem.
The making of a tramway from Cairo to
the Pyramids is likely to become a completed
fact before long. The money paid for the
Government concession has been actually
handed over to the official concerned, and it Is
said that the preliminary operations Ijaro
already commenced.
O. Erickson, of Muskegon, Mich., was
the victim of a queer accident He was milk
ing one of bis cows, when the animal made a
swing with her bead and drove one ot ber
borns up through tbe roof of Erlckson's mouth.
Tbe doctor says be had a narrow escape from
instant death, but will recover.
An Oklahoma hack driver purchased
two lots on tbe day after the opening from men
who decided that there would never be a city,
aad who were going away in disgust. For
one be paid 110, and for the other ha traded a
well-worn six-sbooter. One of tbe lots he has
since sold for $U00. and he Is holding the six
shooter lot for $1,500.
A curious strike is in progress at Eoches
tor. The osteologists and taxidermists la
Ward's natural science establishment where
Jumbo's skeleton was prepared, have stopped
work, and as a result many rare birds and ani
mals being prepared for collections In different
parts of the country are left partly mounted,
and tbe loss will be severe.
A few mornings ago the ground under
an elm tree in Brazil, Ind., was covered with
the dead bodies of English sparrows, number
ing several hundred. These birds bare been in
tbe babit of congregatlngjn Immense flocks in
tblt tree, and it is supposed that they were- all
killed at a single stroke of lightning during
the morning's storm, as the bodies were en
tirely stripped of feathers.
A. J. Banew, a farmer living near
McRae. Ga., states that while plowing in his
fields a few days ago he unearthed a pair of
twin snakes, about six or eight Inches long and t
of a greenish color. Tbelr bodies were grown I
together for about an inch, near the center of '
the snakes. They had two separate and dis
tinct heads and tails, and when touched wonld
lick out their tongues and show fight Ha
kept them until they died.
An Albany girl was out rowing in tha
Atlantic at a seaside resort one day last week,
when suddenly she discovered near her an
immense sperm whale that come to the sur
face and spouted not 100 yards from the little
boat in wbich she and a friend were rowing.
One may imagine that she was frightened, but
tbe whale was not pugnacious and she got
back to the Jshore, some three miles distant,
safe and wiser than before.
A well known traveling theatrical man
ager has implicit faith in the belief that if a
deadhead is the first person to enter a theater
it will bring bad luck. Whilo on the road re
cently two ladies holding complimentary
tickets were the first to present themselves at
the theater when tbe doors were opened. Tbe
manager's brows lowered when be saw the
paper, and to tbe amazement of tbe ladies he
requested them to wait in the lobby until some
tickets had been sold at the box-office.
A wad of chewing-gum and three tro user
buttons In tbe collection basket at the Satur
day meeting of tbe Sunday School Assembly at
Ocean Grove. N. J., aroused the ire of Presi
dent E. H. Stokes, of tbe Grove Association.
He made an analysis of tbe collection for that
day, and found that of the 3,500 persons present
815 gave 1 cent 17 gave 3 cents, 3S0 gave 5 cents.
170 gave 10 cents, and only 12 gave as mnch as
25 cents each. The other 1,100 contributed tbe
chewing-gum and buttons. .
The Ber. G. H. Schnur, who for the last
three years has ministered to the spiritual
necessities of St Mark's Lutheran Church In
Omaha, has resigned because his congregation
would not permit him to choose a wife for him
self. He selected for his helpmeet a good-looking
and estimable young lady ot hs flock
named Miss Nina L. Charles. But tbe Ber.
Mr. Schnur had already been selected as a son-in-law
by one of the mamas of his congrega
tion, and when bis engagement to Miss Charles
was mode public the 'disappolntedHnatron
raised such a ferment that a church ueeting
was called, at which a resolution waT Intro-,
duced to the effect that the pastor hd nos
shown due respect for the opinion of npeo4
pie. Mr. Schnur handed in his resignation.
George "Weaver, a farmer living near
Fort Wayne, Ind brought a handful of oat
blades to Avllla, and on the bright side of
every blade, rather above the middle of tbe
blade. Is a well-defined letter "B," sharp and
distinct and raised so that it may be felt by
passing the finger over it None of the farmers
ever remember hearing of orseeing any such
phenomenon before, and it seems reasonable to
suppose it would have been discovered long
ago had it existed. Superstitions people have
pictured 'II sorts of terrible warnings It her
nias ana lncaicuiaoie disasters it announces.
Scourges, plagues, disasters, famines, wars and
numerous calamities equally horrifying are
suggested by the mysterious -B. Tbe oat
crop will not be large, much of it being back
ward in growth and colored a bright red, which
backs up the belief in tbe "Blood" theory.
The divorce case of Frederica B. "Wetter,
against Frederick Wetter, in a Detroit court
room, brought to the front a pair of queer
looking people. The plaintiff, a woman of SO
years, wore in her oars silver bells nearly as
large as an English walnut, and they tinkled
with her every movement Her shawl was a
bright blue, her white dress had large sa
spots and she wore a bright red hat trimmed
with green. Her face was copper colored, and
she wore white kid slippers. Tbe defendant
was a remarkable looking person. He wore a
white beard. long, fierce-looking mustache,
and was the proprietor ot a large bald head.
One leg had preceded htm into the grave, and
he traveled on a yellow crutch. The evidence
showed that the worthy pair took turns in
oundlng eacn otner, ana eacn admitted nav
ig a legal partner la tbe fatherland. The bill
was not granted.
THE MERRYMAKERS.
America's national flour is cornmeaL -Waihington
Critic.
Flies every where. Even time flies..
IBoy(y.r.), Time.
A horse may pull with all his might but
never with bis mane. Troy Prttt.
A good resolution is a fine starting point,
but as a terminus It bas no value. Scranton
Truth.
The bad small boy, when his mother calls,
Is like tbe echo. He answers bat he doesn't come.
SomervUtt Journal.
"What a glorious world this would be if
people lived up to the epitaphs on tbelr tomb-'
stones! ButcMmon Newt.
Actors may have no end of animosities in
private life, but they always make np before they
appear on the stage. Bmghamton SexntAUcan.
"When everything appears unusually fresh
we say the season is forward, and when a person
Is unusually forward we say he is too fresh.
Hottan Trantertpt.
Mother (to her little son) Johnny, go to
the butcher's and see If be bas pigs feet.
Johnny (on his return) Mamma, he bad big
boots on and 1 couldn't see bis feet
A Chicago paper reports that Savannah
has a flock or red-beaded geese. Their favorite re
sort is probably beneath tbe shade of a white
horse-chestnut tree. Chicago Herald.
"I want the library," said Mr. Gaswell
to tbe architect "to be the largest and airiest
room In the house." "Idon't see what yon want
with a library." Interposed Mrs. Gaswell. "you
know very well you don't smoke. "Burdttt4.
"Boswell," quoth Johnson one day, over
a chop and mug of ale, "could sever write a com
plete dictionary."
"And why not?" qnerrled Goldsmith.
"Because he'd be sure to leave ont bis V." re
turned tbe philosopher, with a merry burst of
laughter. Uarptr,i ilagaziiu.
Mr. Popinjay My dear, I have invited
Mr. Forlnland, the distinguished explorer, to tea
to-morrow.
Mrs. Popinjay Whatever put It Into your bead
to do that?
Mr. Popinjay I want to see if he can find that
edllar button I lost last Monday. Hurling ton STet
P.
' "Maria," said the Chicago husband, "I
beg of jou to listen tome."
".No, sir: I am resolved, anrt you can say nothing
to change me. I will have a divorce."
"But Maria, one word.'
"Well." t
"Even your best friend would tell jou that yoa
haven't a ghost of show on the stage." HUlA
ington Capital,
1