TITTSBimG ' DISPATCH, TUESDAY, h JULY " 23, '1889J i- . ' yy - ;,. r, - - --tv-t: v - -.-----' .-v ; vr-'??i " K i-1 ESTABLISHED fEBRUABY St VoLM, No.lG6.-Ente.-edatPitUburrPostofllce, November 1. J8S7, as setond-class matter. Business Offlce--97andG9 Fifth Avonue. News Booms and Publishing House--75, 77 and 79 Diamond Street. Eastern Advertising office, ltoom ti. Tribune BulldlUp, New York. Average net circulation of the dally edition of TUEDisrATCnior six months ending June 30, 1SSS, 29,492 Copies per luue. Average net circulation of the Sunday edition of The DisrATCH for three months ending June 30, 1SS3. 52,660 Copies per Issue. TERMS OF THE DISPATCH. I-OSTAOE FBEE IN THE UKITED STATES. DlILT UisrATcn, One Year I 8 00 JJAILT Dispatch, Per Quarter 2 00 Daily Dispatch. One Month To DATLT DisrATCU. including Sunday, lyear. JO 00 DAILY DisrATCH. including bundav.Sm'ths. 2 50 Daily Dispatch, Including Sunday, I month 90 buxpAY DisrATCH. One "tear 2 CO "Weekly Dispatch, One Year 1 25 The Daily DI6PATCU is delivered by carriers at 15 cents per week, or Including bunday edition, at SO cents per week. PITTSBURG. TUESDAY, JULY 23, 1883. HUNTING A MIRAGE. Further details with regard to the settle ment of the factional troubles among the Virginia Republicans go to show that it is not such a clean sweep for Mahone as was gathered from the first reports. Brady, Langsten and Wise, anti-Mahone men, are to get administration plums, while Mahone, must be satisfied with administration sup port for the Governorship and Senatorship. It certainly is more indicative of intelli gence and fairness on the part of Quay and Clarkson, as agents of the administration, to make this division of the spoils than to dump them all into the Mahone grab-bag. But the fact that the scheme includes the election of Mahone to the Governorship and Senatorship by the people ana Legislature of Virginia indicates that even our astute Matthew Stanley is led away by a hope which has long been the ignitutuut of Be publican administrations. In view of the jeers which have been ex pended on the Democratic chairman as a "rainbow chaser," would it not be well for the Republican leaders to suppress such jests until they have ceased to pursue that alluring but fugacious mirage of Virginia as a Republican State? SOMETHING TO AVOID. The murder of a young man at a fishing camp on the Youghiogheny serves not only to point a moral on the subject of drinking, but to call attention to one prominent vari ety of it. Nothing is more healthy than the practice of camping out, whether for fishing, hunting or the mere enjoyment of outdoor life; but when this is used, as it is too frequently, merely as a cloak for settling down in some nook to consume a large sup ply of intoxicating beverages, its efltcts cannot fail to be deleterious even if they fall short of the homicide which has re sulted in this case. Events of this nature should enforce upon fishing, hunting and camping clubs the importance of drawing a line of strong demarcation between them selves and drinking clubs. WE DON'T WANT IT. It may be uncertain how much founda tion there is for the report that President Harrison sternly suppressed a project of Secretary Blaine's for the annexation of Hayti, but there is no doubt that the posi tion credited to the President by that report is exactly the correct one. Whatever ac quisitions may be desirable for the United States in the way of new territory, there is one thing which we do not want, and that is the addition to our popnlation of a people whose theory of political agitation is to cut the throats of the entire membership of the opposite party. Recent events in Hayti should be suffi cient to convince any thinking Americans that the absorption of this population to our citizenship would be something which we could not afford to accept as a gift with the Dominican Islands thrown in. We are in no such need of territory that we must ac cept with it a half-civilized and ignorant population, notoriously ready to resort to civil war, and possessed of a record which warrants serious doubts of its capacity for self-government. The United States does not want any fresh territory at such a price. If Secretary Blaine had been urging such a project, he has committed a worse blunder than he did in connection with the Peruvian guano fields. A NEEDED INSTITUTION. The growth of the Southside Hospital, as reported in our local columns, shows the need of that locality for such an institution, and contains a gratifying promise that the seed is to be better supplied in the future than in the past. Of course the Southside has shared in the use of the city hospitals, but its distinct separation from the rest of the city and its character as a manufact uring district make it as necessary for it to have hospital facilities of its own as it was for Allegheny. It is to the credit of the Southside people that they have made an effort to meet the want and are enlarging the scope of their institution on their own resources. THESE ABE OUB FAH.UBES. The path of the United States Govern ment to naval greatness does not seem to be altogether strewn with roses. To bal ance the high laudations of the Baltimore, as a first-class fighting vessel, comes the fact that the new gunboat Petrel, which has just had a trial trip, is a comparative failure, having shown only 13 knots as her top rate of speed, while vessels of the same class are being built abroad that make from 20 to 25 knots under similar circum stances. The disappointment over the failure of a vessel or two like the Petrel and the Charleston need not discourage our nation in the work of building a navy. We can afford a few failures. But it seems necessary to warn the naval construct ors and their friends who report the trial trips, that it will not do to lie abont them. Glowing reports of the trial trip of the Charleston, inspired, possibly by the champagne on board the vessel, were sent East only to have it discovered in due course of time that the be-puffed ship was a failure, at least till alterations were made. A little more discretion was used with re gard to the Petrel's trial trip, but it took several days to let the fact out that she is a very slow coach. Since the truth is bound to come out sooner or later, why sot tell it at once, and shame the constructors of slow vessels? TO JAIL WITH HIM. Carlisle D. Graham is the high-sounding name of a nillv crank who wants to ra over the Niagara Tails in a barrel. He made an i experiment with a barrel like that which he proposes to use himself last Sunday after noon. The barrel was smashed to smither eens at the foot of the falls. The barrel was Mr. Graham's property, and he had a perfect right to destroy it if he so willed. Had he traveled inside the barrel and met a very disagreeable death under the huge cataract, his fate would have not moved us very much, although we believe the law ought to prevent nominally sane people from insanely risking their lives. But we do most heartily protest against the mean cruelty of this man Graham. He put a Newfoundland dog in the barrel, and of course it was dashed to pieces with the flimsy craft Afraid to venture his own life in a crazy act from which he alone could possibly benefit, he took the life of a poor dumb brute. There must be a few men at Niagara Palls who have hearts, but they seem to be sleeping. They ought to pack Mr. Graham and his crotchets off to jail without a day's delay. The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals ought to act, if the people at Niagara Falls will not do their duty. It is bad enough to allow moon struck mountebanks to convert the falls into a circus arena for their cheap feats. They must not be permitted to put dogs to death in the most cruel fashion imaginable. A TEA-POT TEMPEST. The concurrence of Select Council yester day in the ordinance for -the widening of Diamond street disposes of thematter so far as the city is concerned. If any grievance grow out of it, the. Court must settle such. But if the parties in interest act fairly all round there will be no grievance. That it will pay to act unfairly is by no means clear. The facts about the ordinance are simple enough. They were made very plain by a communication signed "Property Holder" in yesterday's Dispatch. Virtu ally they amount to this, viz., that property onTJiamond alley which never brought over $600 to $800 per foot became suddenly sal able in the market at $1,200 per foot so soon as the widening was spoken of, and will be held probably at $1,600 to $2,000 per foot when the widening is done. The Viewers' estimate of damages runs somewhere from $400 to $500 per foot. It will be seen that the abutting property can well afford to pay for the widening and still have a handsome surplus of value at the new prices. The city will also gain in the increased value of the property for tax able purposes, not so much as "Property Holder" claims, but still largely. As sessments lately were an average of prob ably not over $600 to $800 per foot, if so much. If they increase to 2,000 per foot, as is not unlikely in the event of the widening, they will bring an additional $20,000 per year or so to the city treasury in taxes. So evident is the further consider ation that a wide thoroughfare, in place of a narrow alley, will be a public convenience, that everybody admits it without argument. All now remaining to be guarded against is any attempt on the part of the persons who have got the widening through to shift the paying of damages to the city. Through their agents, they disclaim any such pur pose. But even if they were to try, they should not be successful. The Viewers have declared their intention of assessing the cost upon the property on the street which is so enormously benefited, and the Courts will doubtless.ustain that view. Moreover, it is not sure that any contest will be made; and if the benefits are to exceed the dam ages in the volume which those interested advertise, any attempt at evasion by them would be in exceeding bad grace. As for paying a fair price for the prop erty taken to widen the street, that is the one point on which there is least liable to.be injustice. The Viewers will have the mar ket to go by; and if the Viewers do not give enough the Courts stand ready to rectify errors and make a fair valuation in this, just as in any other such case. So it will be seen that there is precious little in the tea-pot tempest which has been brewing with a froth of adjectives over the ordinance, unless the abutters who petitioned for and urged the improvement have a deep and dark design to saddle the cost on the city; which would be so ex tremely fresh, considering their profits and their protestations, and so hopeless, as against the pledge of the Viewers and the sense of justice in the Courts, that on the whole we do not think such an unhand some trick will be attempted. 0UB HELP FBOM OUTSIDE. The DisrATCH always appreciates its esteemed local cotemporaries according to their varying deserts, but never more than when they contribute generously of their time and energies to the correction of any error of type or sense, real or imaginary.big or little, trifling or important, which they find in their constant evidently careful scan ning of these columns. It is by such careful supervision and prompt attention by our neighbors, next to ourselves, that we are enabled to printa paper from day to day which, while containing such a vast quantity of news on all subjects from far and near, is .habitually so accurate that a mistake on any point becomes atmce a subject for comment and surprise. How much our esteemed cotemporaries stimulate us to the watchfulness which se cures this result, we hesitate to say, but it is highly gratifying that they so fully rec ognize how important it is that The Dis tatch shall always be right. That is cor rectly esteemed the first of all considera tions. If in their zeal to promote this object they sometimes blunder themselves, "correct most generally things in The Dispatch which are already right, and volunteer on their own part as right sugges tions which are absurdly wrong, even that is no matter. Motive, not capacity, is to be considered. The Dispatch is so busy with time and space that it has no room for separate acknowledgements to its esteemed cotempo raries, but it bows its thanks to one and all just the same. We hope they will continue' giving us the benefit of their serviceable talents in making this paper as nearly per fect as it is possible for a newspaper to be. That is the standard aimed at. THE INFLUENCE AGAINST CANALS. A very striking example of the influences which have led to the abandonment of canal transportation for heavy freights was fur nished last wees: in connection with the Chesapeake and Ohio canal. A committee from "Williamsport, Md., visited the man agers ef the canal, urging the repair and reopening of an abandoned section of the canal between Williamsport and Cumber land. The managers, however, were of opinion that this could not be done, as it would cost $50,000, which could only be raised by the sale of bonds that have de preciated to 10 cents on the dollar. To this the committee responded by offering to make the repairs for $25,000 and to look to future receipts for reimbursement, if allowed to operate it themselves. But.this was also refused on the ground that the company had no power to turn over the canal to out side parties. The true motive back of these excuses is well known. Powerful railroad influences are interested in the abandonment 'of the canal, and their opposition to its restoration is what convinces the managers of the canal that their duty to the company requires them to let the canal go to ruin rather than accept outside aid la repairing it. The same influences were powerful in securing the abandonment of the Western Pennsyl vania canals; and will be active in oppos ing the Ohio and Lake Erie canal project. But should not the activity of railroad influences iu opposition to the canals be a very strong argument to show the public interest in the revival and improvement of canals for heavy freights? The Exposition loan is announced to be a success; but it is sot what it should be. Loaning money on good security to a publio project is one thing, and starting the enter prise on its career free of encumbrance is another. Pittsburg has money enough to do the latter, add it ought not to be devoid of the pablic spirit necessary to do it. Among the rules for hot -weather con duct which have been turned out this year is that offered by the New York Journal to this effect: "Eat good icecream slowly, if you canget.it, in hot weather." How to eat bad icecream is not stated, but the average young man who has to pay for the icecream will not worry on that account. His trouble is in finding out how to settle the bill, and he is able to rely upon his best girl for being able to solve the problem of how to eat it, whether it is good or bad, without any danger of being retired from active service. The application of the Western Union Telegraph for an injunction to prevent the organization of a long distance telephone plant, is a new and rather unique expres sion of the telegraph company's idea that if the laws cannot be made to support its monopoly there is no use in having any laws at all. The fact that the boodle alderman, Mo Quade, was acquitted on a second trial at Ballston, arouses the sarcastic comments of the New York press to the effect that while the thieves. do not get convicted, the lawyers have a good time at the fashionable summer resort near by. But why New York should sneer at such results does not appear in the circumstances of the case. For what pur pose was their District Attorney elected ex cept to secure the escape of public thieves from justice, and do it in the pleasantest and most agreeable manner possible? Webe the city officials wrong when they abandoned street-sweeping machines for washing the pavement with hose a few years ago, or are they wrong in abandon ing the hose for street-sweeping machines now? A statement appears to the effect that a Cincinnati man used 10,000 gallons of water in sprinkling his lawn last year. This affords a solution to the problem which has always presented itself to outsiders as to what Cincinnati did with its water supply anyhow. No one ever accused Cincinnati of drinking it, and surface indications that it was used for washing were always some what scaree, especially in the regions over the Rhine. The Insurrection of Crete against Turkey is likely to command as fnll sympathy from the world at large as the insurrection of Turkey against Russia. These Is some satisfaction in the infor mation that Private Detective Norris has made an attempt to arrest Kilrain and failed through deficiencies and informali ties in'his requisition. No one would ob ject to having the prize fighter fined; but it is highly satisfactory to have a private de tective who first sells himself to law break-' ers, and then turns around against them, get a decided set back. The speak-easies seem to be maintaining their existence by virtue of the rule that what is everybody's business is nobody's business. Secretary Busk "declares that he has no doubt that President Harrison will be renominated in 1892. Secretary Rusk is not in a position to have any doubts upon that subject. For a broad and unhampered opinion the public should ,go to Statesman Horr, of Michigan, who is asserted to enter tain an ill-concealed opinion to the effect that this administration is a failure. Dolxab oil seems to be a point that the market can hold on to a little longer than it could when the producers had a big bundle of oil. The allusious of'envious St. Louis papers to Chicago's hay crop have aroused the wrath of the Chicago editors, who are now retorting with comparisons as to which city has the most useless set of detectives. This fact makes it evident that while Chicago's hay crop may b e short, as alleged, it has at present a full supply of cabbage heads. PEOPLE OP PE0MINENCE. Mrs. IavEitMOBE is hard at work upon a new address, the title of which, will be "Twenty-five Years on the Lecture Platform." Hon. Geovee Cleveland will set out on a two weeks' yachting cruise about August L Colonel D. S. Lamont will accompany him. William A. Pinxebtok, the Chicago de tective, says he cannot understand why the English detectives hare failed to discover Jack the Bipper. The wealth 8f the 300 citizens Mayor Grant called together to consider the holding of a great exposition in New York in ISO foots up, it is said, $1,500,000,000. Chief Judge Geohqe Yellott, of the Thira Maryland district, has retired from the bench on account of age, after 22 years' contin uous service. He is over three-score and ten. Charles M. Reed, of Erie, offers to pay off the debt of that city, amounting to $1,100,000, if it will give him the water works. The revenue from the water works service last year amount ed to SHOOO. Sikce going to Deer Park President Harri son has attained considerable reputation as a story-teller. His conversation has kept every body laughing, and he says himself that he has been enjoying every moment of his outing. A Washington dispatch says: A friend of Wbltelaw Reid and William Walter Phelps said to-day: "Both Beld and Phelps will re sign their missions within a year. Neither wanted the mission he got, for both wanted the mission to England; but neither could de cline very well, Phelps less easily than Beid, considering the way the German mission was offered to biin." Rose Hawthoiute Lathrop Is spending the summer at New London, and so is tho other poetess, Edith Thomas. The latter is very delicate, and so fragile looking it is a pop ular belief up there that she carries stones In her pocket to keep ber irom blowing away when the sound breezes are keen. She and her sister lire very quietly and appear to be en J oying their summer rest. The Illinois Central Railroad Is abont to lose its general manager. Edward T. Jeffery, who has served the company for several years in that capacity and for a long term tof years in various other capacities, has placed bis resigna tion In the hanas of President Stuyresant Fish to take tffect upon its acceptance by that official. He entered the service of the railroad in 1856 as office boy in the offlee of the Superin tendent of Machinery. THE TOPICAL TALKER, The Plymouth Bock Yellow Foot Fashion Juvenile Bandit The Austrian Em peror's TJnhnppy Lot. Shoes of undressed leather mty be comforta ble to the feet, may suggest in some sort breezy thoughts of sea sands and sab-parasol flirtations, but they are not calculated to make the foot of man or woman appear small. See ing how generally they are worn this season, the matter is of some importance. Actually in an Allegheny street car the other day I thoughM was in Chicago when I looked over the yjllow feet of the passengers, most ot whom were ladies. And a man of, high stature and acute lankness who crossed Smithfleld street in front of me yesterday appeared to have his feet encased in bright yellow satchels, so exaggerated by the undressed leather shoes was the size of his feet. By the way, Plymouth Bock chickens are putting on airs this summer. They are leading the fashion in the tint of their pedal extremi ties. . These Is nothing so unprofitable as making corrections. Especially in a column such as this, which does not pretend to be full of authority, and is moderately intended to enter tain rather than instruct. A few days ago a couplet from Goldsmith's poem "An Elegy on the Death of a Mad Dog," was quoted here and attributed to "The Vicar of Wakefield." Some goodnatured correspondent Informed me that X had been mistaken in so doing, and foolishly. witnont looiting at "The vicar oi wakefleld," X accepted the correction. Since then I have received a number of letters correcting the correction, and on reference to Goldsmith's novel, of course, I found that the oriicinal statement was perfectly accurate. Tho joke is not on my amiablo correspondents, the correctors. . "The juvenile desire for money in these days," said a parent to me yesterday, "is pro ductive of expedients for raising the wind that are simply remarkable. My eldest boy; not yet 6, Is no better than the rest. He seems to con centrate his intellect upon plans for attacking my pocketbook. His latest is to meet me as I come up home from the train. Nine times out of ten I have a friend with me, and if I have my boysays, after a very brief greeting: "Say.papa, give me 10 cents you haven't given me a cent since Christmas.' "I'd seem to be a very mean man if I did not fork ont the dime; so the youngster gets what he wants. He's worked this racket on me twice. He'll ha ve a new one for me in a day or two." AN American newspaperman happened to say that he found it very tiresome to have to read a score of exchanges every morning, and among those who heard him make the remark in the smoking room of the New York and Chi cago limited was an Austro-Hunganan diplo mat; "How, then," Inquired the Austrian, "would voullke my imperial master's task? Every morning the Emperor reads more or less of the contents of U papers, each of which is printed in a different dialect. He has to speak and read every language in which his subjects con verse, and there are no less than 14 languages or essentially distinct dialects spoken in his Empire. "Tnis multiplicity of tongues In the Austro Hungarian Empire is veryannoying. The Par liament, or Reichstag, as it is called, has just come ont of a protracted debate upon the question of reporting the proceedings of the House, and it is settled that only the speeches made in German shall be taken and recorded by the official stenographers. Amemberofthe Reichstag may still speak in his native tongue if he pleases, but he must understand that what he says will not be" reported or printed. This decision has caused considerable dissatis faction among the delegates from districts where German is not spoken. Still, German is the language of intercourse In the Austrian Empire, and, with French, is the language of Austria's diplomacy also. 10TE KNOWS NO "CLASS. A Farm Hand Elopes With the Daughter of His Rich Employer. rSrZCtU. TELEOBAJf TO TDK DISrATC.! Syracuse, N. Y July 22. Hiram Hoyt, a young man whose home Is in Onondaga Valley, has been working for several weeks for Milo Shattuck, a farmer on the road between James ville and Pompey Hill. Shattuck has a"jgood looking daughter, Mamie, to whom Hoyt is said to have made advances. Hoyt pretended to be sick on Saturday morning, and Mr. and Mrs. Shattuck were coming to Syracuse in the afternoon, Hoyt said he would ride to the city with them. Hoyt has a brother, who is the Delaware, Lackawanna and Western Railroad telegraph operator at Bock Cat. It is related that when they came to the crossing, Hoyt said he would stay with bis brother until Sir. Shat tuck returned. A few minules latter a young man drove up, and Mr. Hoyt went back to the farm. Later on Hoyt invited Miss Shattuck to ride to Pompey with him, saying that he wanted to see Dr. Dibble. The story is that the girl got in with him, and when they came to a secluded spot Hoyt asked her to marryhim, threatening to shoot her if she did not consent Hoyt then proposed to go toManliusand get married. The ceremony was performed there. After spend ing a short time in Manilas, Hoyt concluded to go to his home in Onondaga Valley with bis bride. Before starting a note was hastily penned to the parents of Mrs. Hoyt, asking for forgiveness for their act The note was signed "Hiram and Mamie." The horse and carriage that Hoyt had were borrowed from a farmer who lives near Mr. Shattuck, and the young couple returned to his house. They then went to Hoyt's home. Mr. Shattuck, on learning of the escapade, aroused a neighbor and drove to Onondaga Valley, arriving about 3 o'clock this morning at Hoyt's mother's bouse. He found Hoyt and his daughter at the house. Shattuck persuaded bis daughter to return home with bim, but Hoyt remained at the valley. Hoyt was seen about the village this forenoon, and it is said that b.e has not been arrested. A Basket Picnic. The Allegheny lodges of L O. O.FM McFar lane No. SO, Twin City No. 241, Manchester No. 403, Bobert Blum No. 414, Fidelia No. 415, R. Blddlo Roberts No. 630, James L. Graham No. 690 and Park Lodge No. 973 will have their sixth annual outing and basket picnic at Forest urove to-morrow. xoe memuers win assemDle at the Pittsburg and Western depot at 8 o'clock to-morrow morning. Tte Gernert and Ouen ther orchestra will attend the excursion and furnish the music for the party. A Gypsy Camp. The young ladles of Sewickley Society held a grand Gypy encampment in McDonald's Grove near Sewickley yesterday. A number of tents had been erected and the ladles spent a very enjoyable time. During the afternoon all kinds of games were indulged in by the younger people. In the evening the! Gernert and Guenther orchestra arrived in the grove from the city and a grand concert was given by them. Society Whisperings. THE friends of Mr. Thomas O'Neil, of Hiland avenue, East End, will hold a grand Iawnfete at the residence of that gentleman on next Thursday. y The United Workmen of this city will have a grand reunion atBellevue on Thursday, and the Gernert and Guenther's orchestra will tar nish the music to them for a grand concert. To-mokkow evening the annual series of dances will be commenced at the Idlewood Hotel, on the Panhandle Railroad, and they will be continued every Wednesday during July and August. The Gernert andGuenthers will give their fourth concert of the season at Sewickley on next Friday evening. An elegant programme from the music of the best known classic com posers has been arranged. Miss Mabt O. Wilt, daughter of E. D. Wilt, lessee of the Opera House, and Mr. A. R. Matcbett, son Alex. Matchett of this city, were married at Cumberland. ML, last Satur day. Both the parties were visiting friends in Cumberland at the time, and the marriage was a surprise when announced here. DMTflS OP A DAY. John F. Reynolds. Cujton, O., July 22. Canton was shocked to day on hearing the news of the sudden death at his residence ol John F. Beynolds, one of the city's leading citizens and most public spirited men. He arose at 7 o'clock this morning, and while in the act or dresslrg- fell back on the bed and expired shortly after. Mr. Beynolds was born in Canton In IS7. He organized the Canton Gas Company in lS55and conducted that business successfully until 1837. when he retired from busi ness, disposing of the eras plant ton Philadelphia company. 11 o was a director and the heaviest stockholder or The City .National Bank, a lead ing: number of tue Board of Trade, the Law and Order League. Humane Society and the Presby terian Church. He toot an especial interest In the Y. M. O. A. and started the movement for the erection of the S30,oco Association building; now in course of construction, ' toe capacity op benatobs. A Good Story That Was Told by the Into Simon Cameron, From the New York Tribune. Early In the year 1S77 and just before his resignation of his seat In the Senate, General Simon Cameron was asked by an intimate friend to give an oflnion respecting the com parative ability shown by the "average" Sena tor at the iime of his first election and that shown by his colleagues of the later date, "Well,"replled Mr. Cameron, 'In my opinion, the average standing and capacity of Senators now aro much higher than I found when X first entered Congress. Our population has vastly Increased; our business relations, both between ourselves and with foreign countries, have widened almost beyond belief; new questions, both social, political and national, of a magni tude hitherto undreamed of, are constantly arising; in fact, a Senator of the present day. who worthily fills bis chair, mnst be a many sided man, and a legislator of marked ability." And here the old gentleman smiled, with a roguish twinkle in his eye as he proceeded: "It didn't take very much of a man to fill that particular bill when I was first elected to the United States Senate, and your Inquiry re calls to my mind the views expressed upon that very same subject by Senator Blank many years ago. Coming up to me one afternoon after a somewhat heated debate he remarked: " 'Well, Cameron, when I first came here, to Washington, and was sworn in. I gazed wonder ingly around upon onr magnificent surround ings, and noticed all about me men who bore noble names and of national celebrity, where upon I modestly asked myself 'How in tbe Lord's name did you happen to get beref After 1 had filled my chair, however, for several months, all that sortot thing seemed changed to me, the gilt was worn off the ginger bread, so that I placidly surveyed the Vang' around me and said to myself. 'How in Sheol did all these other blank, blank fools get here, anyway?" SUNSET C0I ANGRY. . An Article In Russell Harrison's Paper Araasra the CoBirenmin's Ire, WASHIKOToh) July 22. In a dispatch from Mammoth Hot Springs, Wyo., to his private secretary here. Congressman S. S. Cox says be is about to leave for Helena, Mont, In accord ance with his plans, to call on some relatives there, but that he is In doubt abont stopping at Helena, because Bussell Harrison's paper has made a bitter attack upon him. It is evidently because Mr. Cox made tbe Fourth of July oration at Huron, Dak., that Harrison's paper has attacked him. It was an entirely non-partisan oration and delivered at tbe invitation and to tho evident satisfaction of tbe people of Dakota, irrespective of party, and Mr. Cox feels so much chagrined at the unjustifiable attack made upon him by President Harrison's son's paper that he apparently contemplates denying himself the visit which he had in tended and which would have been purely of a personal and domestic nature. Considering what he has done in Congress for all the Territories, and the fact that for years he has been an intimate personal friend of PresidonfHarrlson, Mr. Cox feels keenly" aggrlored for the nncslled-for attack made by young Harrison's paper. Mr. Cox carefully arranged his trip so as to avoid any possible contact with the Constitutional Convention or with the internal politics of Montana. POSTAL NEEDS OF NEW YORK. Tbe Recommendations of Two Postmasters Sustnincd la New York. Washington, July 22. The report of the commission appointed by Postmaster General Wanamaker to examine the New York Post offlceln all Its branches has been made public. It is voluminous and elaborate, covering with great fullness and detail the ground traversed by tbe commission in Its three weeks of investi gation of the main postofflco and 17 branch postoffices. The commission, while recom mending liberal increases in tbe number of clerks and carriers and larger accommodations generally for the office and the service, still recommends much less than was constantly and urgently demanded by the late Postmaster Pearson and has been asked by the present Postmaster Van Cott Their recommendations as postmasters were for some 190 additional clerks, at an increased expense of $273,000 for them, and for additional compensation to the present force, and for US additional carriers. The commission recom mend 123 additional clerks and 10 additional carriers at an increased cost of $S7,000, an in crease which, it says, is fully justified by tbe constantly Increasing receipts of the postofflco itself, which shows an increase ot 11.010,000 dur ing the last three fiscal years. What Legislature Irfick. From the Cincinnati Commercial Gazette.1 In all Legislatures there should boa special Committee .on Common Sense, to wbich all bills should be referred. Had there been such a committee In the Minnesota Legislature, and had it been worthy of its name, then that body would not have made a laughing-stock of it self by passing a law prohibiting newspapers from publishing particulars of executions. The Attorney General has given it as his opinion that the law is unconstitutional. Moral Froiress In Philadelphia. From the Philadelphia Times. 1 We have got pretty near to that high state of decorum in Philadelphia that was observed by Hudibras in his travels when ho came to a place where they were Hanging a cat on Monday For killing of a mouse on Sunday. Tbe Hidden Hand at Harris'. A company beaded by Miss Bonnie Myers and R. W. Trelegan yesterday began a week's engagement at Harris' Theater In that old fa vorite comedy drama, "Tbe Hidden Hand." Tbe audiences at both performances were of very good size, especially for warm weather, and thejubilee singers' songs and the special ties of Ed McHugh gave great satisfaction. A Difficult Problem. From tbe Chicago Times. 1 Alexander Graham Bell calculates that a mother in talking to her Infant child speaks 35,000 words a day. Now let htm calculate how many words a day the mother talks" to tho grown-up child's husband during his first year of married life If he can. One Truthful Mnn In Baltimore From the Baltimore American.: A Baltimore man acknowledges that he fished a whole day without catching anything. His friends are undecided just what to do, whether to erect a monument to his veracity or get a spirit medium to transmit his name to Diogenes. New Gang-era at Cincinnati, Washington, July 22. The Secretary of the Treasury has appointed tbe following store keepers and gangers: David L. Day, James L Qniretton, Samuel McKeehan and John Kichey at Cincinnati, O. A Safe Betreat for Boodlers. From the New Xork Herald. 1 We hate to disagree with such a pleasant and good natured man as Colonel Fellows, but It is our opinion that the boodlers who are now living in Canada may safely return to New York. A Worse Tlmo Coming:. From the Minneapolis Journal.l You may not like this weather but you ought not to complain. Just think, it is less thanf our months till Congress meets. London's Dead Police, From the New York World. 3 None of Jack the Ripper's victims is so thor oughly dead as the London police. FOOLS AND THEIR JfOLLIES. He who Is born a tool Is never cured. Pro verb. Enjot your little while the fool Is seeking for more. A pool always finds a greater fool that ad mires him. Prorero. The fool may be depended upon to keep a secret If he does not know It He is a fool that praises himself and he a madman that speaks ill of himself. The fool jolneth church thinking he will be able to enter heaven In the crowd. The reason the fool said it "In his heart"was because be bad no head to speak of. The wise man hlreth his pence, while the fool expendeth his substance in the purchase of nose paint The fool paddles somebody else's canoe and carries all his grist to another's mill. Blott and BtcmUKct. t "A tool may sometimes say a wise thine" just as a wise man may sometimes say a fool ish thing. -Florida Times-Union. CURES FOR IHSOMHIA. Simple Remedies for a Disease Hard to Overcome Pare Air and Mental Quiet Absolutely Necessary The Best Position for Ihe Sleeper. Sleeplessness is dangerous. It will prevent the rebuilding of tbe body after sickness, and will waste away the most robust If not checked. And. worst than all, It Is a prolific source of madness. To become unable to sleep soundly or even reasonably well, is cause for serious alarm. It is also a source of great suffering. Any remedy, therefore, wbich will induce sleep to kiss the eyelids which have wooed the drowsy god in vain, will prove a boon to every one. The causes of Insomnia are legion, but outside of general nervous debility and chronic disorder of the nervous system, whether caused from mental or nervous disease, or from some injury to the nerve centers, the causes of sleep lessness may be put down as anything that causes tbe blood to flow to the brain in in creased quantities. Strong physical exercise, rapid breathing, or deep thought will, accord ing to the best authorities, conduce to bring about a state ot sleeplessness. And unless checked It will grow until it becomes veiy serious. It may be stated, as a fact overlooked by many who find themselves unable to sleep, that their Insomnia arises from carelessness on their part in failing to observe certain easily ascertained rules in regard to sleeping. . The Best Time to Sleep. Tbe body can not sleep while the brain is excited. Anything .which, will diminish the flow of blood. to the brain will allay excitement Very deep, slow, and -quite respiration will soothe the brain to a great degree, and, at the same time, serve the purpose of detracting the attention of tho mind from the matters which may disturb it Moderate heat, monotony of sound, and darkness tend to make one sleepy. Tho only effect of darkness is to shut out ex ternal objects and thus assist in quieting the mind. The notion that sleep obtained in the daytime is not beneficial bas no reason to sup port it Sleep is sleep, and. If one can sleep soundly and well in the daytime, it serves the same purpose as sleep obtained at night But few people can do this on account of the light and noise. Hencetbeold but erroneous idea that only sleep at night could thoroughly rest and recuperate tbe body and mind after their labors. This is abundantly proven in the case of infants and convalescents. Both sleep in daytime equally as well as at night and both grow more while sleeping than while awake. Pore Air a Necessity. Cool, fresh air is the best to sleep in. Ex treme heat and closeness of the air tend to pre vent sleep, as does profuse perspiration. The teeth should be well cleaned and the mouth rinsed before going to sleep. After all these necessary rules hare been observed, and still sleep refuses to come at the bidding of the pleading eyelids, one may be sure they aro suffering from insomnia, and should seek to in duce sleep by any means. But how to do this has been tbe question with many, and physi cians are called in and soothing potions taken, all of which will fall in nine cases out of ten. But what, then, is to be done? This is what thousands ot sleepless persons have asked. There are many sure and simple remedies. Tbe most celebrated remedy was that of a Mr. Gardner, of England. It was known to the entire reading world about SO years ago, but baring been out of print in recent years only older people remember It Physicians who make a specialty of nervous diseases are familiar with it, and re commend it in nearly all coses where a patient suffers from Insomnia. Mr. Gardner was a man of wealth and culture, and had accumu lated a number of remedies, such as for allay ing thirst where liquids could not be procured, for temporarily appeasing the pangs of hunger and for improving the eyesight by certain In geniously contrived glasses. Ho became a great sufferer from insomnia, caused by an injury to his spine from falling out of a chaise. His suf ferings were Intense for years, until he discov ered the remedy which never failed to induce sleep in him whenever tried, and which is said to hare never failed on any one who bas tried it and reported on their success. Its publica tion caused a great stir at the time, both in tbe medical world and among the people generally. Remedies for InsomnIa.lt Mr. Gardner said: "Tho sufferer who wishes to sleep must lie on his right side, with his head placed comfortably on the pillow, having his neck straight so that respiration will not be hindered in the least The lips are then to be closed slightly and a full inspiration taken, breathing throngh the nostrils only if possible. The full inspiration taken, the lungs are to be left to their own action. Attention must now be fixed upon the respiration. The person must Imagine that he sees the breath pass from his nostrils in a continuous stream. like steam from an exhaust pipe. Tbe instant he brings his mind to conceive that he thus sees his breath, and. grasping this idea apart -from all others, consciousness leaves him and be falls asleep. If this method does not at once suc ceed it is to be persevered in, and, if properly carried out, is believed to be Infallible. It is founded on tbe principle that monotony or the influence on the mind of a single idea induces sleep." The above has been tried in many dif ferent forms that is, the idea has been carried out on the same principle. Thus, Sir Thomas Brown found it a good soporific to repeat some verses on wbich the well-known evening hymn is rounded. KaDelals tens us oi some monus who, when wakeful, resolutely set themselves to prayer, and, before they bad said bait a dozen aves or paternosters, would tall sound asleep. The same thing is noticed in our churches to this day by people who are not monks. Some Noted Sufferer. Ben Franklin took his air bath, going through the imaginary aDlutfons as if in a pool, and was thus always able to produce sleep, though he suffered with insomnia to a great degree. Prof. Agasslz, the great scientist suffered a great deal from sleeplessness, and used to soothe his mind to rest by gently waving bis right hand in the air as if making a figure eight very slowly. Audubon, the naturalist induced sleep by closing his eyes and breathing slowly and regu larly and rolling bis eyeballs downward as if looking at his feet through the closed lids. "Old Hickory" Jackson sometimes suffered from insomnia, and is said to have always counted 1,000 at least that he always started out with bis mind fixed on tbe task of counting ten hundred, but that he said he never reached that number before he would drop off into un consciousness. A Strong; Recommendation. These remedies are an simple and worth try ing: They have the weight of great authority and have the testimony of thousands who have tried them as to tbelr efficacy. As sleepless ness is a common complaint, and as it is dan gerous if not checked, it is worth while for any one suffering thus to try tbe suggestions. Tbcy are founded on reason and on what tbe best authorities give as being the surest method of Booming me Drain ana mina into quieiuae ana rest monotony and concentration on one idea. Texas CJlven aa Office. Washington. July 22. The Secretary of tho Treasury to-day appointed Charles Hedges, of Texas, to be chief of a division in the Sixth Auditor's office, vice C. T. Mitchell, resigned. Insecure Support. From the Troy Times. 1 People who lire beyond their means are simply dangling from a rope which Is hitched to nothing at the upper end. THE WOOING OF THE SOUTHLAND. tALASBUN BALLAD. The Northland reared bis hoary head And spied the Southland leagues away Falrstorallfalr brides,"he said, "Be thou my bride I pray?' ' Whereat tbe Southland laughed and cried; I'll bide beside my native sea, And I shall never be thy bride. Till thou com'st wooing me!" The Northland's heart was a heart'of lee, A diamond glacier, mountain high Ob, love is sweet at any price, As well know you ana; II So gayly the Northland took bis heart. And cast it In the walling sea "Go. thou, with all thv cunning art And woo my bride for me!" For many a night and for many a day. And over the leagues that rolled between, Tbe true-heart messenger sped away To woo the Southland queen. Bat the sea wailed loud, and tbe sea walled long While ever the Northland cried In gleer "Oh. thou shalt sing us our bridal song. When comes my bride, O seal" At the foot of the Southland's golden throne The heart of the Northland ever throbs For that true heart speaks in the waves that moan. The songs that It sings are sobs. Ever the Southland spurns the cries Of the messenger pleading the Northland's part The summer shines In the Southland's eyes The winter bides In ber heart I ' And ever nnto that far-off place Which love doth render a hallowed spot, The N ortliland turheth his honest face And wonders sue eemeth not. Tbe sea walls loud, and the sea walls long, Aa tbe ages or waiting drift slowly by, But the tea shall sing no bridal song As well know yon and 1 1 EvgentlUUt in Chicago Sties, GLEANED IN G0THAM.- 'Bloped With Girl and Boodle. aw TOBX BUBEAU SPECIALS. New York. July 22. Three weeks ago young Anthony Cohen, a clerk in a Broadway clothing house, ate his first luncheon in the Fuck restaurant, and incidentally made the ac quaintance of the pretty cashier. Miss Friday Siege!. Friday afternoon Cohen was given -by his employers $1,200 In bills and checks, with instructions to deposit them in the bank on his way home. He did not go to tbe bank and he did not go home. He went straight to the Puck restaurant and asked Friday to go to Coney Island with him. She went At mid night tbe couple took a Pennsylvania Railway train from Jersey City. No one In the city has seen tbem or beard from them since. Inspec tor Byrnes and his detectives are trying tor find the runaways. Desperate Battle With tbe Elements. The steamship Alene, from North Hayti, came into port this morning, after a desperate battle with the elements. On Saturday last a gale struck her. Thunder and lightning ac companied it At noon the man on lookout saw an immense ball ot fire descend like a me teor from the murky skies, alight on tbe main top most, glide down into the rigging, and fly from one rope to tbe other. A second later there was a horrible crash of thunder, and the ship rocked as If she had struck some sub merged wreck: For a few seconds it literally rained splinters of wood. Tbe maintop mast had been struck by tbe lightning and smashed to smithereens. The Captain of the Alene re ports that on July 11 and 12 Hippolyte tried bard to capture Port-au-Prince, but was re pulsed several times, with heavy losses. On July 13 Hippolyte was driven back nine miles to croix des Bougeneto, where be was wnentne Aleno sailed. Cangbt Beneath Falling Bricks. Atall.brick chimney on a three-story tene ment house down town collapsed at 10 o'clock this morning. The debris crashed through the roof and three floors to the basement, and knocked a big hole in the front cellar wait On the way down, the bricks swept Nicolo Santo and Antonio Rent, with their bedsteads, into the falling wreck. The two Italians and half of tbe bricks were thrown into a little second-hand clothing store on the ground floor. Catharine Duffy and Bridget Clayton, owners of the store, were sleeping in it when the Italians and bricks dropped. The bed, the bricks, the women and the Italians together lay against the street door, holding it shut, but guided by the yells of the four, the police and firemen broke it open and pulled them out They were all uninjured, save for a few bruises. A Wrongly-.llntcd Pair. Mrs. Henry W. Mowrey wishes to be divorced from Mr. Mowrey, because he has repeatedly accused her. In tbe presence of her children, of being unfaithful to him and because he beats ber. Mrs. Mowrey is a member of tbe Wash ington Avenue Baptist Church. Brooklyn. She is a teacher in the Sunday school and a mem ber of several charitable societies. Mr. Mow rey is employed In a paper factory and earns $2,000 a year. He says Mrs. Mowrey has been long intimate with a deacon in the Washington Avenue Church. The deacon in question is one of Brooklyn's big men. He is a member of the Produce Exchange and Is worth (300,000. Mrs. Mowrey and he behaved most indiscreetly on a recent Sunday School excursion up the Sound. Mr. Mowrey heard of it followed up tbe clew, and learned a story of his wife's unfaithful ness. Mr. Mowrey himself is one of tho un godly. He swears and la .something of a poli tician. Papers on both sides have been filed In the case. Steve Dorsey Wasn't Present. The case of Levy versus Dorsey was passed In the Snpreme Court to-day, because no one appeared for either plaintiff or defendant when the case was called. The motion was for an order directing the ex-Senator to appear for examination In supplementary proceedings in the suit brought against bim by A. A. Levy upon an unsatisfied judgment for $11,000. The judgment against Mr. Dorsey was assigned to Mr. Levy by Moses Levy & Co., of London. Robbed ofHIs All While Asleep. Casper Rebling arrived here on the steam ship City of Chester to-day. This morning, in Castle Garden, he changed $10 in German money, all he had, into American money. Then he bought three bottles of beer. While he was drinking it someone stole the remaining $9 70 from bis pocket The commissioners have asked Collector Erhardt whether Reeling should be sent back as a pauper. Nobody Will Be Loser. The F. G. Faulkner Company, dealer in Iron pipes and .fittings, bos notified the creditors that it will wind up. Frank G. Faulkner, the President, has been deposed by the trustees, and Morris E. Thayer has been made treasurer. Faulkner started the company in May, 1SS5, having previously been for several years a part ner In the firm of Bird, Faulkner & Co. The directors were dissatisfied with the way Mr Faulkner has managed the business, and had him deposed as President The creditors will all be paid in full, the stockholders making good any deficiency. T00E TDIE BY THE FORELOCK. An Engineer the Recipient of (GO a Week In Sick Benefits, If r-ICIAt. TELXGKAM TO TOX DI8PATCIT.1 MlDDLETOWlf, N. Y., July 22. Frank W. Crandall. who claims to have sustained concus sion and paralysis of the spine by falling down stairs at bis home in this city the other night, is a much insured man. He Is a stationary en gineer in tho Anglo-Swiss Milk Condensery, which bas a sick benefit fund wbich yields to its temporarily disabled workmen an allow ance of about $10 a week. In addition to this provision. Mr. Crandall's forethought recently suggested that be should procure a number of Insurance policies against death or disability by accident in some of the prominent life and accident Insurance comDanies. Accordingly. he took out policies which aggregate the prom ise of $60 a week in weekly indemnities, and of a total of 511,500 of insurance to his widow, in case the accident proves fatal to him. Two reputable physicians who are attending Crandall say that be is seriously hurt and may be crippled for life or may soon die. Let Tbem be Counted. From the Philadelphia Times. If the coming census does not provide for a separate enumeration of the office seekers an important piece of information will bare been allowed to get away. , TRI-STATE TRIFLES. Bhebiff Wolf, of Williamsport, a few days since made a vicious kick at a cat with his right foot but missed the animal and struck bis left foot instead. The blow prostrated him. and Deing a six-footer he fell heavily. He broke tbe fall by throwing ont his left band, which, however, Is very sore and in a sling In consequence. A battxkssake with seven rattles was killed on West Main street In Grove City the other day. A lotixi) couple of Burton Hollow, near Williamsport, eloped to New York, got mar ried and returned to ask parental forgiveness. Instead of getting It the bride was locked In a room by her parents, and is kept in close cus tody, and the groom feels nettled about it A lakqe rat while investigating a barrel of clams in Wheeling was caught by the nose and front foot by one of the clams and Its life squeezed out When found the clam still gripped it WrLHAsr. Pehitxtackeb, of East Nant meal, caught a fox a week ago and determined to keep him for hunting purposes. Tbe ani mal made its escape from the pen a few nights ago and destroyed a brood of 33 turkeys on Mr. Pennypacker's farm. Mrs. Joseph Hot, of Orwigsburg, Berks county, celebrated her 00th birthday by going Into the fields and tying up half a dozen sheaves of wheat A ghost in tho shape of a large, black dog has been seen near Idlewild, In the Lehigh mountains. Two ladles at Sbubert, Burks county, at tacked and killed a large rattlesnake which had ten rattles, A SrETjiiEsvrLi.E girl, 19 years of age, pretty and Intelligent, has never been fire miles from her home and says ihe baa no (de sire to travel. , CURIOUS CONDENSATIONS. -. A Dakota fanner holds that the failure of the wheat crop Is largely due to the work of gophers. Bloomington, HI., bakers have been cut ting prices until they have got bread down to 2 cents a loat. The tallest chimney in this country is tbe new suck of the Clark Thread Company, at Kearneynear Newark, N. J. It Is a circu lar shaft 3oo feet high and 2K feet in diameter at the base. This chimney cost $30,000, and contains 1,637,000 bricks. Martha Cobble, of Owensboro, Ky., a colored woman formerly a slave, has searched 40 years for ber two sons who were sold to a New Orleans trader when they were 8 and 10 years of age. Recently she learned the where abouts of both and was madebappy by a visit from one of tbem. The making of a tramway from Cairo to the Pyramids is likely to become a completed fact before long. The money paid for the Government concession has been actually handed over to the official concerned, and it Is said that the preliminary operations Ijaro already commenced. O. Erickson, of Muskegon, Mich., was the victim of a queer accident He was milk ing one of bis cows, when the animal made a swing with her bead and drove one ot ber borns up through tbe roof of Erlckson's mouth. Tbe doctor says be had a narrow escape from instant death, but will recover. An Oklahoma hack driver purchased two lots on tbe day after the opening from men who decided that there would never be a city, aad who were going away in disgust. For one be paid 110, and for the other ha traded a well-worn six-sbooter. One of tbe lots he has since sold for $U00. and he Is holding the six shooter lot for $1,500. A curious strike is in progress at Eoches tor. The osteologists and taxidermists la Ward's natural science establishment where Jumbo's skeleton was prepared, have stopped work, and as a result many rare birds and ani mals being prepared for collections In different parts of the country are left partly mounted, and tbe loss will be severe. A few mornings ago the ground under an elm tree in Brazil, Ind., was covered with the dead bodies of English sparrows, number ing several hundred. These birds bare been in tbe babit of congregatlngjn Immense flocks in tblt tree, and it is supposed that they were- all killed at a single stroke of lightning during the morning's storm, as the bodies were en tirely stripped of feathers. A. J. Banew, a farmer living near McRae. Ga., states that while plowing in his fields a few days ago he unearthed a pair of twin snakes, about six or eight Inches long and t of a greenish color. Tbelr bodies were grown I together for about an inch, near the center of ' the snakes. They had two separate and dis tinct heads and tails, and when touched wonld lick out their tongues and show fight Ha kept them until they died. An Albany girl was out rowing in tha Atlantic at a seaside resort one day last week, when suddenly she discovered near her an immense sperm whale that come to the sur face and spouted not 100 yards from the little boat in wbich she and a friend were rowing. One may imagine that she was frightened, but tbe whale was not pugnacious and she got back to the Jshore, some three miles distant, safe and wiser than before. A well known traveling theatrical man ager has implicit faith in the belief that if a deadhead is the first person to enter a theater it will bring bad luck. Whilo on the road re cently two ladies holding complimentary tickets were the first to present themselves at the theater when tbe doors were opened. Tbe manager's brows lowered when be saw the paper, and to tbe amazement of tbe ladies he requested them to wait in the lobby until some tickets had been sold at the box-office. A wad of chewing-gum and three tro user buttons In tbe collection basket at the Satur day meeting of tbe Sunday School Assembly at Ocean Grove. N. J., aroused the ire of Presi dent E. H. Stokes, of tbe Grove Association. He made an analysis of tbe collection for that day, and found that of the 3,500 persons present 815 gave 1 cent 17 gave 3 cents, 3S0 gave 5 cents. 170 gave 10 cents, and only 12 gave as mnch as 25 cents each. The other 1,100 contributed tbe chewing-gum and buttons. . The Ber. G. H. Schnur, who for the last three years has ministered to the spiritual necessities of St Mark's Lutheran Church In Omaha, has resigned because his congregation would not permit him to choose a wife for him self. He selected for his helpmeet a good-looking and estimable young lady ot hs flock named Miss Nina L. Charles. But tbe Ber. Mr. Schnur had already been selected as a son-in-law by one of the mamas of his congrega tion, and when bis engagement to Miss Charles was mode public the 'disappolntedHnatron raised such a ferment that a church ueeting was called, at which a resolution waT Intro-, duced to the effect that the pastor hd nos shown due respect for the opinion of npeo4 pie. Mr. Schnur handed in his resignation. George "Weaver, a farmer living near Fort Wayne, Ind brought a handful of oat blades to Avllla, and on the bright side of every blade, rather above the middle of tbe blade. Is a well-defined letter "B," sharp and distinct and raised so that it may be felt by passing the finger over it None of the farmers ever remember hearing of orseeing any such phenomenon before, and it seems reasonable to suppose it would have been discovered long ago had it existed. Superstitions people have pictured 'II sorts of terrible warnings It her nias ana lncaicuiaoie disasters it announces. Scourges, plagues, disasters, famines, wars and numerous calamities equally horrifying are suggested by the mysterious -B. Tbe oat crop will not be large, much of it being back ward in growth and colored a bright red, which backs up the belief in tbe "Blood" theory. The divorce case of Frederica B. "Wetter, against Frederick Wetter, in a Detroit court room, brought to the front a pair of queer looking people. The plaintiff, a woman of SO years, wore in her oars silver bells nearly as large as an English walnut, and they tinkled with her every movement Her shawl was a bright blue, her white dress had large sa spots and she wore a bright red hat trimmed with green. Her face was copper colored, and she wore white kid slippers. Tbe defendant was a remarkable looking person. He wore a white beard. long, fierce-looking mustache, and was the proprietor ot a large bald head. One leg had preceded htm into the grave, and he traveled on a yellow crutch. The evidence showed that the worthy pair took turns in oundlng eacn otner, ana eacn admitted nav ig a legal partner la tbe fatherland. The bill was not granted. THE MERRYMAKERS. America's national flour is cornmeaL -Waihington Critic. Flies every where. Even time flies.. IBoy(y.r.), Time. A horse may pull with all his might but never with bis mane. Troy Prttt. A good resolution is a fine starting point, but as a terminus It bas no value. Scranton Truth. The bad small boy, when his mother calls, Is like tbe echo. He answers bat he doesn't come. SomervUtt Journal. "What a glorious world this would be if people lived up to the epitaphs on tbelr tomb-' stones! ButcMmon Newt. Actors may have no end of animosities in private life, but they always make np before they appear on the stage. Bmghamton SexntAUcan. "When everything appears unusually fresh we say the season is forward, and when a person Is unusually forward we say he is too fresh. Hottan Trantertpt. Mother (to her little son) Johnny, go to the butcher's and see If be bas pigs feet. Johnny (on his return) Mamma, he bad big boots on and 1 couldn't see bis feet A Chicago paper reports that Savannah has a flock or red-beaded geese. Their favorite re sort is probably beneath tbe shade of a white horse-chestnut tree. Chicago Herald. "I want the library," said Mr. Gaswell to tbe architect "to be the largest and airiest room In the house." "Idon't see what yon want with a library." Interposed Mrs. Gaswell. "you know very well you don't smoke. "Burdttt4. "Boswell," quoth Johnson one day, over a chop and mug of ale, "could sever write a com plete dictionary." "And why not?" qnerrled Goldsmith. "Because he'd be sure to leave ont bis V." re turned tbe philosopher, with a merry burst of laughter. Uarptr,i ilagaziiu. Mr. Popinjay My dear, I have invited Mr. Forlnland, the distinguished explorer, to tea to-morrow. Mrs. Popinjay Whatever put It Into your bead to do that? Mr. Popinjay I want to see if he can find that edllar button I lost last Monday. Hurling ton STet P. ' "Maria," said the Chicago husband, "I beg of jou to listen tome." ".No, sir: I am resolved, anrt you can say nothing to change me. I will have a divorce." "But Maria, one word.' "Well." t "Even your best friend would tell jou that yoa haven't a ghost of show on the stage." HUlA ington Capital, 1