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PITTSBURG. SUNDAY JULY 7, 18S9.
A QRFAT WORK POSSIBLE.
The discussion of the subjects to be
treated of bribe Congress of American re
publics, which is reported in our local col
umns, puts the importance of that meeting
in a stronir light. There is no doubt that
the occasion, properly improved, may be
made of the greatest and broadest interna
tional benefit.
This subject of international arbitration
is by itself enough to make the meeting one
of the most important ever held. It pro
poses to substitute reason and justice lor the
barbaric trials of strength which now settle
international disputes. If the American
Governments can perfect a plan for putting
arbitration in force, it will place them far
in advance of European Governments, in
true civilization.
Add to this great work the questions of
commercial union, a uniform customs agree
ment, international and uniform coinage,
and unitorm weights and measures, and the
scope of the congress rises to vast impor
tance. The permanent attainment of a sin
gle one of these objects would be a full re
ward for the meeting of the congress. The
possibility that most, if not all, of them can
be reached, makes the meeting of that body,
a pivotal event, not only tor the countries
participating in it, but for civilization.
"While there is abundance of room for the
criticism of Mr. Blaine's political methods,
there can be no question that in his long
cherished project of an American internal
congress, he has taken the best way to enroll
his name high in the lists of statesmanship.
A NOVELTY IN WATEE.
The appearance of a new adaptation of
the nickel-in-a-slot machine, in the shape
of a large water cooler, which on the in-,
sertion of a penny, yields up a glass lull of
cool water, is per te a novel and beneficient
development of modern invention. It is
complicated by the demonstration of the
fact to-day that it can serve the thirsty
public with a cheap and refreshing drink
without the intervention of anyone to be
held responsible for the breaking of the
Sunday laws. Whether the law would, if
called upon, hold those who prerjare the
water, and collect the money next day, to
be Sabbath-breakers, is an open question;
but we venture the prediction that no one
will undertake the invidious task of prose
cuting such a beneficial and wholly unob
trusive method of giving people a chance
to satisfy their thirst
BARRELS BEHIND HIM.
It is to be observed that certain Demo
cratic organs in the East are sturdily keep
ing before the public the fact that in look
ing over the list of Democratic possibilities
for 1892, the name of "Win. C. Whitney
should not be forgotten. Mr. "Whitney was
a very able Secretary cf tbeNavy, and
made a good record in that position. He
also exhibited a remarkable degree of
facility in giving banquets at which cham
pagne and diamond-backed terrapin were
the distinctive features. As a Fresidental
candidate he would evidently be unable to
make the champagne and turtle reach around
among all the ward workers.
But the Democratic organs recognize
another quality in Mr. "Whitney, which
would more than make up lor bis addiction
to forms of luxury w hich the ordinary voter
could not get a chance to appreciate. 3Ir.
"Whitney has a moderate barrel of his own,
but bis stock of Standard Oil barrels behind
him is practically limitless. This fact
would probably console the Democratic
organs, even in case of defeat, it would cer
tainly make a very interesting campaign to
have the brother-in-law of the Standard Oil
Trust in the field as a Democratic Fresi
dental candidate.
BITING THE EITEES.
A story is now afloat to the effect that the
famous wheat deal of 1887, which ruined
the Fidelity Bank, of Cincinnati,, and
landed E. L. Harper in the Ohio Peniten
tiary, was really engineered by some prom
inent Standard Oil men, who made Harper
their catspaw and then pricked the bubble
for the sake of cornering some of Harper's
backers and getting control of the Cotton
Seed Oil Trust. The story is by no means
incredible, as it is entirely consistent with
Standard Oil methods, the squeezing of the
Penn Bank oil corner in this city, a few
years sooner, being a case in point. But it
is pertinent to remark that if the men who
were thus pinched by the Standard had not
been engaged in the business of squeezing
the markets and trying to make money
without giving an honest consideration for
it, they could not have been squeezed by the
Standard. The offenses for which the
Standard must be arraigned by public
opinion, consists of squeezing them who
were engaged in legitimate business to de
prive them of it for the benefit of the
monopoly. "When it comes to dog eating
dog, the public need care little as to which
canine is bitten the worst.
WE SHOULD NOT BE OVER CONFIDENT.
In discussing a somewhat alarming pub
lication as to the ability of a foreign raw
to bombard New York City, (he New.York
World argues Ihat such representations are
unfounded, because wc have a defense bet
ter than dynamite in the fact that this na
tion feeds the world and that the world
would have to go Hungry if it got into war
with us.
This is a flattering but by no means reli
able representation of the hold which we
have upon the respect of foreign Govern
ments. The fact is that the United States
has by no means as thorough a control of the
world's food supply as it had ten or twenty
years ago. India and Russia could fur
nish Europe with wheat, if necessary, and
Australia and South America stand ready
to supply it with cattle, if the supply of the
United States should be cut off. It would
doubtless somewhat enhance the price of
food staples in Europe if a war should
break out between a European Government
and this country, but it would not create
any such famine as to make the maintenance
of war impossible.
There is a much stronger security in an
other fact which the World points out, that
the financial powers, which exert even a
greater influence in Europe than they do in
in this country, are so completely involved
in the channels of commerce between Europe
and America, and have such vast interests
in this country, that they cannot afford to
permit a war. Beyond that there is the fact
that the mutual dread and distrust of the
great powers of Europe is such that none of
them could afford to engage in hostilities
with the United States, and thus expose
itself to attack from foes nearer at home.
These two considerations give almost ab
solute security from foreign attack at the
present. But it is by no means wise to rely
upon the consideration that this security
will be perpetual. The political conditions
of Europe may change, and the military
powers may unite upon the idea of satisfy
ing their desires for extension of territory
and power upon this continent. In that
view, the United States should certainly
prepare itself with a navy and ordnance
such as will make it a very uncomfortable
power to attack.
WORK FOB C0NQBESS.
Discussion of the possibilities of an extra
session of Congress, beginning in October,
indicates favorable opinions to it from the
President down. Such a step would only
anticipate the meeting of Congress by a
couple of months and doing so might permit
that body to do some work before the
Christmas holidays. As the one thing need
ful in the way of Congressional reform is to
get some work done, the general disposition
in favor of starting in early is evidently cor
rect It is certainly full time that Congress
should make some disposition of the tariff
question. Public opinion generally is in
favor of the abolition of the Sugar Trust by
removal of the dnty that protects its aggres
sion, and while opinions may vary widely
as to the disposition of the general tariff
question, the business interests of the en
tire countrf will be glad to have it settled
in one form or another. The two sessions
of the last Congress were spent in wrestling
over that problem, with the resnlt that the
problem won every roundand is still nncon
quered. STRANGER THAU FICTION.
If the story which was told in the local
courts last week by a business man who was
robbed of $10,000 in Allegheny through the
bunko process had appeared originally in
fiction, not one among ten readers would
credit it as probable or vossible. The old,
familiar device of strangers inviting a
credulous person to invest large sums of
money in a game promising big profits, has
been worked so often, and the details have
been published so frequently from one end
of the land to the other, that one would
suppose a prize might be offered, without
takers, for any adult who had notheard of it
But it is noticeable that, excepting in rare
cases, it is very old men who are thus vic
timized. This may argue that the sharpers
carefully watch for the declining faculties
of old age, or that the habit of newpaper
reading has not been so strong with
men of the older generation as with
those who are but middle-aged or with
the young. At all events, whatever
faults the hypercritical may choose to
find with the newspapers of our times, no
one can deny that they tell fully enough
what is going on in the world to enable the
dullest to be on guard against the schemes
of the wily. That any ruse with ear-marks
of bunko fully, developed can succeed in
swindling the greenest of people istrnly
surprising.
ZOLA'S ACCOMPLICES.
Brown's novels ought to be written by
Brown. The name of the author upon the
title page ought to correspond with the
name of the person who made the book.
This is not always the case. Brown's books
ars sometimes written by Jones to Brown's
order, and then palmed off upon the public
as Brown's creation. This is a fraud of a
very mean and disreputable kind. Several
novelists of to-day have been accused of
such practices. Miss Braddon, the extremely
prolific writer of sensational novels in Eng
land, has more than once been charged with
lending her name to the works ot less popu
lar writers. The latst discovery in this
line is that Emil Zola employs half a dozen
salaried writers, whose work is retouched
by him and published under his name.
These stories reflecting upon the honesty
of authors must not be taken without a
tolerably large grain of salt From time
immemorial authors who have obtained any
decided recognition from the world have
been the mark for the sneers and insinua
tions of their less successful brethren. Ugly
tales about the methods of great novelists
come from small novelists as a rnle. The
tales are, it is sad to say, usually pure
romances.
But it is possible that Zola has turned
his name into cash without much thought
of the moral side of the question. The
novelist of the sewer and street pavements
can hardly be expected to rise above the
moral standard of nis books. But it is un
pleasant to know that there are half a dozen
writers of standing in the French literary
world who are willing to purvey filth of one
sort and another to Zola's converting estab
lishment. It is also unfortunate- for the
world that, with the assistance of these pur
veyors, Zola's power for evil is greatly
increased. The multiplication of realistic
romances of the-"Nana" type is a distinct
curse to civilized society. And, it is rea
sonable to ask, what becomes of Zola's claim
to a highly moral intent in writing his
loathsome descriptions of the lowest forms
of life, when a corps of assistants are kept
busy grinding out novels to be issued
under his name? Does he vouch for the
purity of his assistants' aims?.
KHAN CAN'T STAND IT.
It is too bad. The feelings of Hadji Has
sein Ghooly Khan have been hurt. The
cruel newspaper reporters and paragraphers
are the offenders. And Mr. H. H. G.'Khan
is going home to tell .his. master the Shah
all about it He is leaving his position
as Minister of Persia to the Uni tl Steles
in order that he Bay speak his mind freely
about tils unkind critics.
Upon close examination of what Hadji,
etc., said the other day upon this subject we
are compelled to conclude that the Persian
Minister's official rather than his personal
feelings have been hurt He asks bow any
Minister could stay longer in this country
alter he sees his King and country ridi
culed in the American papers. The allu
sions to the Shah as a disreputable old
profligate, an oriental despot, and so on are
what Mr. Khan objects to. If some writer
had insinuated that Ghooly Khan had been
a burglar and wife murderer in his native
land then the Persian Minister's personal
feelings would have been hurt. We do not
know what he would have done in such a
case. Now it is his official feelings that
have suffered, and there is no course open
to him, he thinks, but to return to Persia
with his scrapbook of newspaper clippings.
We beg to call the attention of the Bus.
sian Embassador to the fact that daily most
disrespectful remarks are made in the news
papers about the Czar. The humorists
poke fun at the Nihilist-hunted Emperor,
the editors denounce his barbaric policy,
and the magazines are vying one with an
other in depicting the abuses of the Siberian
convict system. According to Mr. Khan's
reasoning ampin excuse exists for the with
drawal of the Russian Minister. The mo
tion is that the Russian Minister do now
withdraw No doubt the motion will be
generally seconded.
Sir Julian Pauricerote should also take
notice that Queen Victoria is constantly al
luded to as "Vio" or Mrs. Guelpb, and her
liking for the late Mr. Brown, her habit of
giving Indian shawls as aweddlng presents,
and other regal characteristics of the old
lady are often ridiculed. Her eldest son is
habitually addressed by his first name in
the newspapers, and he is more often called
"Tummy" just now than anything else.
The British lion is also constantly
libeled in the comic journals. There
really, is no reason since Mr. Khan
has set the example why Sir Julian Paunce
fote should not at once take his departure.
In fact, all the embassadors have sufficient
grounds for retiring with the Persian Minis
ter. Nobody would shed a tear except the
snobs and sassiety lion-bunters of Washing
ton, if the capital were swept clean of all
the foreign diplomatic tomnoddies at once.
If itresulted-in the recall of our Ministers
abroad another good bird would be killed,
and Uncle Sam would save money.
In short, Hadji Hassein Ghooly Khan
has done the country a service. We trust
no one will allude to him hereafter as Tomato
Khan. If he wants a new motto to put on
his plate at home, here's one: Possum ire,
which being translated is: "I Khan go."
IK connection with the reports that Mrs.
Leslie Carter is to go upon the stage, the
Chicago Herald refers 16 the rumor that ex
Senator Kiddlebergcr will appear next sea
son in a tank drama. The esteemed Herald
is behind the times. Senator Biddleberger
appeared in that class of drama last season,
taking the xole of the tank.
Conoiiessma" Beattt's arraignment
of Foraker for professing that he did not
want a nomination while filling the con
vention with his followers, indicates that
Beatty is entirely too particular. If de
claring that a nomination is not wanted
debars a candidate from the field, our poli
tics would have been robbed of all its great
statesmen from Tilden and Blaine down.
Congressman Beatty should permit his
fellow politicians -to have some outlet for
their innate modesty.
It is now stated that P. T. Barnum will
take his big show to London this fall. With
Barnum in England and Buffalo Bill in
France the people of the Old World will
be more convinced than ever that this is a
remarkable country.
Downtowit business men in New York
city complain that when new pavements on
tneir streets are required, they ask for as
phalt and they get stone. People who ex
amine the pavements on Fourth avenue and
Diamond street, below Wood street, in this
city, may conclude that the downtown busi
ness men in New York have better luck
than those in this city, who asked for as
phalt and got something resembling mush.
A sefobm is reported from London in
the shape of the substitution of good Anglo
Saxon for the French used on the restaurant
bills of fare. This is even a more satisfac
tory change than it would be if they substi
tuted good French.
The proposition to secure a pardon for
the once famous robbers known as the
Younger brothers is backed by Missouri
people, 'and consequently Chicago rises in
protest against it Yet the Missourians can
rather pertinently advance the idea that
since Chicago got a pardon for Mackin and
let McGarigle off with a light fine, the
Youngers and all the other robbers might as
well be turned loose once more.
Pboctok Knott having beaten Spo
kane, at Chicago last week, the Southern
people are rejoiced over the belief that the
star of their great men and great horses is
in the ascendant once more.
Tiie Republican organs of Indiana are
complaining of Commissioner Roosevelt's'
"oflensive and arrogant manner." This
looks like an official declaration of the view
of the Indiana Republicans, that to object
to the appointment of convicted gamblers to
office is an exceedingly offensive and arro
gant thing to the Indiana fine workers.
Such a course, they think, makes him an
exceedingly uncivil reformer.
At the sale of M. Secretin's collection of
paintings the other day, $17,000 was bid for
a painting entitled "Breakfast" This wit
almost as expensive a meal as a Boston mu
nicipal banquet
After all the trouble taken for fixing up
the deal for adopting the system of "future"
transactions on the Oil Exchange, it is cal
culated to make the average oil broker re
flect upon the contrariety and cussedness of
events, to observe how persistently the fish
refuse to bite at that bait, and the lambs de
cline to come in and have their fleeces re
moved. '
It seems to be a blank day in the Egyptian
war records when the Egyptian troops can
not defeat the dervishes and kill nine
hundred of them by means of the cable
dispatches.
The cable dispatch which Indicates that
Americans will be rejoiced to learn that
Mrs. Alice Shaw, the famous whistler, has
refused an offer of marriage from an n
glishfbaronet, misjudges the sentiments of
the American people. The public of this
country have no especial interest in the do
mestic prosperity of English baronets.
The Lnwn Order Agent.
From the Philadelphia Ledger.:
The busiest lawn order agent at this time is
tlio mower.
DISPATCH,
THE TOPICAL TALKEK.
Odds nnd Ends" of Llfc-rLIIHau Russell In
'Grand Opera Lawyers and the Elixir
of Life.
Lillian Russell has not been in Pittsburg for
many years, if ever, but she is well enough
known hero to lend Interest to the report that
she is to leave the comic opera stage soon and
to enter upon a course of study and training
for grand opera. At present ber plumpness,
her prettlness and her vocal powers are all lent
to the comic opera of "The Brigands," at the
Casino, New York.
Nobody has seriously thought of Lillian
Russell as a diva of grand opera before. I
don't know whether anyone Is thinking ot her
chances In this new department now. But her
beauty it is beauty that runs from her face to
her form and leaves not a minute speck of her
unlovely will carry her far. She has a flexible
voice that abounds in Sweetness, but it is not
a great voice. Yet her good Jootcs may per
suade an audience that she can sing. It will
not bo the first time the public has been so
persuaded.
But what a jrap Lillian's departure would
make in the Casino Company. How wide the
gup will be I can't say at this moment, but it
will be sufficient.
TnEitE is a city ordinance which prescribes
thatlt shall be unlawful for anyone to brush
dnst or rubbish from a store or across the city
pavements after an early bour in the morning
8 o'clock, 1 think.
There are also a number of men. women and
children who trample this ordinance in the
dust every day ot their lives: iho sweep the
dust Into the faces of passing pedestrians and
Into their neighbors' stores and offices. These
offenders are to be found in plenty in the heart
ol the city. In one hour I noticed three within
the Fifth avenue block between Smlthfieldand
Wood streets. An attempt tt enforce the ordi
nance will be made.
.
Wnits the Ohio VallevGas Company, which
has swallowed the Illuminating Gas Company
of Sewlckley, undertakes to furnish a new
house with the two kinds of gas they will only
have to use one pipe from the mam. Hitherto
the natural gas has had to travel in two pipes
to perform its double duty. The removal of
the Incognito will not improve the quality of
the illuminating gas, however.
..
A distinguished lawyer informs me that
immense interest is taken in Dr. Brown
Sequard's discovery of the elixir of life by
many of the elder members of the bar.
It is not at all singular that the evasion of
death and a hereafter should interest lawyers,
bnt the elixir of life will mean starvation to
lots of them if it comes into general use. Per
haps starvation will be a pleasure if it cannot
kill.
PEOMINEKT PEOPLE PAfiAGEAPHED.
Buffalo Box has been engaced by the
French Government to teach 100 cavalry officers
to ride in the American style.
The late Mme. de Grouchy, widow of Bona
parte's Marshal, retained to the end of her life
her brilliant powers as a conversationalist
Bbe was 86 years old.
Miss Mary C. Fuller, daughter of Justice
Fuller, arrived at New York yesterday on the
Alter. The Chief Justice, his wife "and a
number of friends met the Government tug at
Quarantine.
Hartford people recall that General Har
rison has visited their city before. The first
visit was in 1872, when he was a guest of the
old Fiscatorious Fishing Club, and went with
them on a cruise up the coast of Maine.
The oldest United States ex-Senators are
James Bradbury, of Maine, and Jefferson Davis,
of Mississippi. Each served in the Senate of
1847. In point of years Mr. Bradbury is the
elder, having been born in 1805, three years
before the b rth of Davis.
The late Colonel A. U. Saxton, of St Joseph,
Mo., was one of the best-known men in Mis
souri. In his youth he was a "mud clerk" on
an Illinois river steamboat, bnt he conquered
fortune and died a millionaire. Ue was famous
as a humorist and a practical joker.
Only five of the British officers who tought
at Waterloo were alive when the seventy! ourth
anniversary of the battle camo around, on the
18th of last June. They are General George
Whlcbcote (as Lieutenant of Fifty-second
Light Infantry): General the Earle of Albe
marle (as ensign of Fourteenth Regiment);
Lieutenant-Colonel M. P. Browne (as senior
Cornet of Eleventh Light Dragoons): Lieutenant-Colonel
W. Hewett (as Captain of tbe
Third Battalion Fourteenth Regiment), and
Major Basil Jackson (as Lieutenant of Royal
Staff Corps).
David Andreas Saxleunek, owner of
tbe Hunyadi Janos, died recently while on his
way to Carlsbad. He was a man of limited
education, but practical In tbe extreme. After
falling in several undertakings he established
a "national clothing house" in Buda Pestb. In
which home goods alone were sold. Louis
Kossuth consented to act as. Saxlehner's clerk
for several days, in consequence of which the
business increased enormously. While Saxfeh
ner was sitting one day in his office, a peasant
entered and complained that be could get no
fresh water on his farm. He had bored wells
in a number of places, but succeeded in getting
only a peculiarly scented fluid, which he feared
to use. Saxle'iner was interested. He asked
the peasant to bring him a sample bottle othe
water, had it analyzed, and decided to purchase
the estate. He paid 1,000 gulden per acre for
the larm, and established a factory as soon as
possible. Tbe water became popular at once,
and tbe red label upon the bottles a famous
trade mark. Of late years the sales reached
4,000,000 annually and made Saxlehner many
times a millionaire.
A writer in the Mpectator says that Lord
Beaconsfleld's fondness for tbe primrose origi
nated when he was living in Highbury, Lon
don. Here he was much attached to a young
lady resididing in the same locality, who was
the daughter of a gentleman of good property.
At a ball given at this gentleman's house, the
young lady in question worea wreath of nrim.
roses. A discussion exose between Mr. DIsraelf
ana another gentleman as to whether the
primroses were real or not A bet of a pair of
gloves was made, and on tbe young lady being
consulted, and the primroses being examined,
the bet was won by Mr. Disraeli. Tbe prim
roses were real primroses, and the young lauy
gave two or three of them to tbe future Prime
Minister, which he put in his button-hole and
kept and used to show long afterward. Some
have thouhgt that because the Queen sent a
wreath of primroses to Lord Beaconsfleld's
funeral the flower became his badge In that
way. This is a mere invention. The Queen
did not know at the time that the primrose
was Lord Beaconsfleld's favorite flowcr.andshn
did not, consequently, send & wreath of prim
roses to bis funeral at all. Others hae enter
tained tbe opinion that the noble lord appre
ciated tho flower because he says in ono of bis
novels that tbe primrose makes an excellent
salad. This is incorrect again, and the true
history or the way tbe primrose became the
noble lord's favorite flower is recorded above.
CZiE ASD lOETECTlYE.
Being nn Adventure of tils Russian TJpncss
and n Tolltnker,
From the London Standard. 1
The Emperor of Russia," when upon a tour of
Inspection in the provinces, passed the night in
tbe simple hut of a tolltaker. Before retiring
be was pleased, as head ot tbe Church, to see
the old man take up his Bible and read a chap
ter. "Do yon read often, my sonT" he asked.
"Yes, Your Majesty, every day." "How much
of the Bible have you read, my sonT" "During
the past year the Old Testament and part of
Matthew. Your Majesty,"
Thinking to reward him the Czar placed 500
roubles between the leaves of tbe boos of Mark
on tbe following morning, unknown to the toll
keeper, whom he bade farewell. Several
months passed away and tbe Emperor returned
upon a second tour to tbe tolltaker' but
Taking tbe Bible in his bands be was surprised
to find the 500 roubles Intact After interroga
ting the tolltaker as to his diligence in reading,
be received an affirmative answer and thestate-
' ment that he bad finished tbe chapter ot Luke.
"ikying, my son, is a great sin." replied His
Majesty; "give me the Bible till I see." Open
ing tbe book be pointed to tbe money which tbe
man had not seen. 'Thou hast not sought tbe
Kingdom of God, my son. As punishment thou
sbait also lose thy earthly reward." And he
placed the roubles in bis pocket to distribnte
afterward among tbe neighboring' poor.
Thry Hare Crawn With the City.
from the New York Tribune..!
Ever since annexation when a Chicago man
has put up at an out-of-town hotel he has in
sisted upon having a white page to himself oh
nlilch to register. ' ,
SUNDAY, JULY
7, 1889.
ALL CAN G(f TO EUROPE.
A Shrewd Business Man Makes the Trip for
8107 11 D Thinks He Spent 833 Too.
Much, Then Economy a Good Thing- to
Carry Abroad.
Cleveland, July 6. Mr. Philip C. Mcll
ratb, of this city, has just returned from Eu
rope, and enjoys tbe distinction of having low
ered all previous records as an economical
traveler. The European trip Is, by his narra
tive, robbed of half its formidable features,
and Paris, tbe heaven of all good Americans at
this time, is rendered accessible this side tbe
grave. It becomes possible for people of nar
row means to go abroad, and for the lowly in
estate to view the world Irom the top of the
Eiffel Tower.
Tbe rumor that Mr. Mcllrath had made the
footings of his account book cut a modest fig
ure In the hundreds caused a reporter to call
at the tourist's rooms. No. 144 Ontario street
to see if the initial figure of the total was a "3"
or a "4." This most remarkable of American
travelers Seemed to have thrived well on bis
"plain living and high thinking." He is about
50 years old, is 6 feet tall and will weigh at
least 200 pounds. He is aprospero'js and busy
man, and has tbe direct and independent car
riage which inspires respect everywhere, and
which Is believed to be characteristic of the
wide-awake American business man. After
expressing nis pleasure at seeii.g Mr. Mcllratb
returned irom over the sea in safety and good
health, the reporter said:
"I hear that you succeeded in making the
trio on a very economical basis. If yon can
tell just how .you managed to do it, it Rill
benefit a good many people just at this time."
"I shall be very glad to do so," was tho reply,
"because I made the trip as I did, principally
to see if it conld not be done for less tban is
popularly believed possible. Mv total expenses
lor the trip amounted to just J157 It
Almost Beyond Belief.
"Two hundred and what?" exclaimed the re
porter, scarce crediting his ears.
"Not 200 at all, but 100-S157 11, and that was
$25 more than was really necessary for tbe
journey." . "
"Well, let'l see bow yon managed to do itr
Did you keep an account or guess It?" asked
the visitor, charitably preparing a way of es
cape if the cold figures sbould happen to spoil
a good story in their customary heartless
fashion.
"I kept an itemized account" said Mr. Mc
llrath. "Why, that was one object of my trip,
to seo bow cheaply it could be aone without a
sacrifice of substantial comforts. You can see
it if you would like to."
"Let us begin at tbe becinning. What kind
of an outfit did you have?"
"I did not take any baggage, wore an ordi
nary business suit and carried a small grip
containing several shirts, collars and neckties,
a shoe brush, tooth brush, and a hair brush.
I dressed just as I would if I were going out
on the road drumming for six weeks. No
salesman wants to be botbered with a big
wardrooe when he is out for business, and I
was running this trip on business princi
ples. I carried a good pocket-knife, and a
light haversack to be used as I Bhall describe
hereafter.'
"Coming to expenses, what did your ticket
eostr '
A round trip from Cleveland to London and
Paris andrcturn costs just 5101. I purchased It
here and on May 15 setsell on the City of Paris,
of the Inman Line. My ticket read for the second
cabin, where we bad tbe same sleeping accom
modations as the first cabin and the rear deck
for our use. Our table was a little plainer tban
tbe first cabin table, but as both bad poor
meats and all had good bread and vegetables,
there really wasn't so much difference after
alt From Liverpool I went direct to London,
where I was to spend two weeks. 1 didu't go
to the biggest hotel, but found excellent ac
commodations in a private family, where I was
lodged lor 25 cents a nlcht This was no ex
ceptional chance; there are any number of such
E laces in the heart of London. Tbe rents are
lgb, and people contrive to cut them down by
taking good, respectable lodgers. I arranced
with the ladies in tbe house to serve me a
breakfast in the dining room. The bill of fare
was frugal, but
Snfflcleat for All Purposes.
It Included six slices of bread and better
two eggs and a large pot of coffee, with sugar
and milk and other trimmings. Tbe cost was
12 cents. At noon, if it was convenient I would
go to one of the vegetarian restaurants, where
a dinner consisting of oat meal and milk, salads
and English pndding is served for 12 cents. If
it was not convenient I lunched from my haver
sack, which I bad replenished with bread, fruit
and cheese before starting. At night if I was
near a milk depot and there are thousands of
them all over the city, I would get a supper for
10 cents. I did a great deal of walking, so I
couio. see me oyways as well as me nignways,
and my 'bus and boat fares did not average
imore than 10 cents a day; That made my Lon
don expenses 70 cents a day. I stayed two
weeks and spent a day at the Museum, another
at Crystal Palace, another at the Zoological
Gardens, another at the Derby, and so on.
Some of these excursions cost a little extra,
and there is where part ot my tZi in excess of
actual expenses went"
"Did you do as well In PansT"
"Not quite so well, and still I was not ex
travagant My lodgings in Paris cost 40 cents a
night or 15 60 .or tbe two weeks I remained
there. My coffee for breakfast, the best in tbe
world, cost 6 cents, and the bread and f rait for
my haversack cost 14 cents more. In fact all
my meals cost about 20 cents each, so that my
meals and lodgings were SI a day. It cost 10
cents every time 1 went to tbe Exposition, and
that with tbe railroad fares, made about 25
cents more per day. My Paris expenses were
$1 25 a day. I was talued into taking some of
'Cook's rides' after I was all through with tbe
city, and wasted some money and two days'
time going around to see what I had already
seen by myself, bo there was where some more
of the unnecessary $25 went Then I spent a
week at Liverpool aud Chester, and my ex
penses were tl a day there. Then again there is
tl each way for llvine expenses between New
York and Cleveland, which I have come near
forgetting. How much does that foot up?"
Tbe Figure for It.
Tbe reporter took his pendl and soon re
duced tbe items into this remarkable table:
Bound trip ticket Irom Cleveland to London
and Paris fioi 00
Expenses In London, two weeks 9 80
Expenses in Paris, two weeks 17 60
Expenses in Liverpool, one week 7 00
Expenses betweenClevelandandNew York. : 00
Total fU7 30
"My meals alone," said the tourist "cost
only (17. Of course this takes discipline, bnt
so does anything wben a man is trying for a
record. It won't do to spend money for every
thing you see. There are men waiting to take
your purse at every corner, if you will let them,
and tbe only way to do is simply to refuse to be
Imposed upon. Many things, however, are very
mucfi cheaper there. It costs only 2 cents to
get your shoes blacked aud 4 cents lor a shave,
but as 1 wear a full beard that last item did not
interest me."
"How does it happen that it usually rosts an
American so very much more than 1200 or $300
even to take a brief trip like yours?"
"Tbe troublo with most Americans, is tbat
they drop all tho rules of economy they prac
tice at home when they go abroad. They seem
animated with the patriotic desire to Impress
all Europeans with the idea that every Ameri
can is a millionaire. Business men who have
accumulated a little extra money by a modest
stjleof living here, just throw money broad
cast while it lasts wben they aro in Europe.
Men who take a bread and milk lunch down
town when at home, "can never patronize any
but tho highest-priced hotels in London and
Paris. If many Americans would be willing to
occupy as modest a place abroad, for a low
weeks, as they do at home all their lives, more
of them could see the Old World and tbe won
deis thereof."
MAKING A KEW AAVI.
Tho Ordnance Shop nt Washington Is Fast
l Kearlng Completion,
Special Telecram to The Dispatch.
Washington, July 6. Tbe new ordnance
shop at the-navy yard is now fast nearing com
pletion. Large gangs of workmen are busy
getting tools in place, putting up boilers and
machinery, and making great headway toward
getting this large establishment Injeadiness
for an early opening. From appearances the
great workshop will be in readiness to receive
workmen within tbe next few months. tSteel
for guns, shells and gun carriages are begin
ning to arrive pow, and things look brighter
for an abundance of work tbanhas been here
to tore. It is thought tbat the employes will
number fully 1,000 by the end of tbe fiscal
year. Acttve preparations aro going on for
gettlng-in readiness tbe necessary tools and
machinery for the making pf 16-Inch guns for
the heavy armored monitors and defense ves
sels. Thero are now several six and eight-inch
guns nearing completion, and within a few
weeks several of tbem will be ready to be sent
to the testing ground at Annapolis. It Is posi
tively asserted tbat the old frigate Constitution
will oe brought to the navy yard to take the
place of the receiving ship Dale. It was
thought that the cost of towing her roood
from tbe Portsmouth, N.H., navy yard wonld
be more than was justifiable, but this does not
seem to be true, and this histono war ship will,
sooner or later, find a resting place at this
yard.
Hrr Jl'-JlU Fourth of July.
Washington cJh0 July 6, An event
of great Interest to this community on the
Fourth was the 112tb birthday reception of Mrs.
Margaret Arnold. There were some fears tbat
Mrs. Arnoldiwoold not survive until ber 112th
birthday; but she is still alive, and her health
snood. - ..
THE ELIXIR OP LIFE.
Prof. Brown. Sequnrtl Discovers a Rejuve
nating Potion Oe Describes Its Compo
sition nnd Its Effect Upn Himself His
fclenllflc Aadlence Convinced.
Paris Correspondence d'Etats Unis.l
Tbe art of not growing old has been found,
or at least the art of not growing old so
quickly. The proof Is in a communication of
the most curious sort which has been read
during the last session of the Society of Biology
by one of the masters of the Academy of Medi
cine, one of the most venerable members ot the
institute, the physiologist who has contem
plated all liis life tbe Study of the nervous sys
tem and tbe spinal marrow, the professor of
tbe College of France, follower and successor
of Claude Bernard. We have named? M.
Brown-Bequard. It is thn Urown-Sequard, In
effect who finds the secret of rejuvenation of
man.
During the last session of the Biological So
ciety tbe-President mounted the tribune. In
the large hall silence reigned Immediately.
They knew that the learned professor bad been
ill lor a lone time; that be was weighted by 72
years of study, and that he was ordered to take
very small part in the debates of the as
sembly. "Gentlemen." said he. In a voice" strong but
sW, "I believe in the possibility of tbe reju
venation of existence, it we study to prolong
It by the aid of actual facts of science."
The audience applauded; still sceptically.
Seeking tbe Elixir of Life.
The savant continued, reciting In lengthy de
tail the experiments which he bad had and the
observations which he bad registered upon
them. He bad noticed a long time ago tbat
tbe transfusion of blood was incapable of
restoring to a feeble organization the forces
which it had lost The necessary operation for
so introducing the new blood into tbe veins of
a sick person, the difficulty of finding a conve
nient transfusor, the rapid decomposition
which were produced ot the different elements
of tbe liquid and other reasons of a technical
order, deterred physicians from trusting that
experiment Beside the blood Is no more than
a marvelous conveyance for the new elements
as they enter and for tbe ancient cells as tbey
go out It is tbat which distributes tbe oxygen
to the organs, but tbe organs themselvas are
depositories and transformers cf the forces.
What was needed was t introduce the living
cells themselves more directly, so tbat the In
troduction of the new heat and of the electric
ity might be made without loss. For tbe last
21 years Brown-Bequard has been experiment
ing on this subject but only since May 15, this
year, has he judged his system sufficiently ad
vanced to bring it forward for criticism and
further experiment
The Magic Philter.
He told the audience how he had taken part
of certain organs of living animals, fcr Instance
the fowl, guinea pig or of aogs very young, as
youth is a quality indispensable in the matter.
He has brayed in a mortar these living particles
untit;they become a palpitating mixture. He
has then immersed them in water, distilled and
filtered, and purified and clarified the liquid
thus obtained. This he then uses, as one wonld
morphine, by way of injection. The two days
following he resorted to tbe same experiment
and tbe result was tbe loss of the sense of
fatigue; he became capable of studying for
tbree hours without the least weariness, and
witnont taking any repose. Steadily bis appe
tite became greater, his sleep more restorative
and calm; his stomach bad resumed all its
functions; his intellectual work became re
markably direct and clear: in all respects he
feels himself subject to rejuvenation.
So, by degrees, Brown-Sequard went on tell
ing of the niinuikB of the method, until his lan
guage became stronger, his visage expressed
all bis old-time energy, so long disappeared,
and he exhibited all the vigor of former years.
In fact the address itself was ot snch a charac
ter, delivered by Brown-Sequard, tbat it was
convincing to the audience. Thunders of ap
plause followed his closing words.
HIS IDEA OP POLITICS.
Private Dalzell Tells How Much It Cost Dim
to Kan for Lieutenant Governor.
Private Dalzell writes to the New York Sun
as follows: Our State Convention Is over. We
have a splendid ticket even if my "name is not
there. 1 got 189 votes, 33 from this Congres
sional district and tbe solid vote of "Noble
county. The soldiers voted lor me from the
"A" counties down to Washington, but there
were not quite enough to make me Lieutenant
Governor. Other candidates had headquarters,
groceries, and tbings.
It cost some of them, poor devils, big money.
What with badges, cigars, and circulars and
cards and tickets. It cost tbem a good deal.
I bad no headquarters, no cigars, no circu
lars, no cards, nor any other thing except my
self. Yet I got more votes tban any of the
dozen or so of other defeated candidates.
Here's what it cost me:
Postage i f) SO
Railroad fare 2 75
Three days at cheap hotel. 3 0C
Total S3 23
That's what ,it costs to ran for Lieutenant
Governor in Ohio at least that's what it cost
me and I cold $6 worth of my autobiographies;
and so am out on this campaign precisely 25
cents, and came mighty near getting there at
tbat That's my idea of politics!
Yon Can't Boycott Him.
From the New York Press.!
Every dead person needs a coffin.
That's the reason undertakers make so much
money.
Sooner or later every person must be a cus
tomer to an undertaker.
THE SIX SENSES.
I see the wave break on the beach,1)
I see the mist melt Into air,
I see the air fade Into space,
1 see tbat Death Is everywhere.
I hear the feet of hurrying griefs,
1 near men's laughter tnrn to tears,
I hear thebreak or beating hearts,
I hear Death mocking life with sneers.
1 eat tbe bread of torture's sweat
1 drink the bitterness of gall: '
I eat and starve and drink and thirst
I taste the mold of Death in all.
I feel the" day chill into night
I feel the sunshine tarn to shade,
I feel the lce-wlnd In the air,
I feel for me the grave Is made.
1 smell the dust of withered Joys,
1 scent the musk of sure decay.
I catch the taint of coming Death
Death now. to be, and Death alway.
But far above earth's sickening Strife,
And out beyond the realms of space,
And bidden from the senses' reach.
Deep In the conscience of the re.
There lives a sense, there speaks a Tolce,
Tbat faints and fades, but never dies.
That brines allke.to serf and lord,
Andhleh, and poor, and low, and wise.
The only everlasting hope.
There is no grave, 1 hear It slug:
There Is no death. Its tones declare;
Lol LlfS's In life and Life's In death.
Life now, to be. Lire every where.
Edwin Sovte in Cosmopolitan.
ODD ITEM8 FK0M FOREIGN SH0EES.
THE world's coinage for 1SSS was 53,500.529,
against 56.729,000 In 1SS7.
Lord Biibewsbuht's new bansoms are to
carry electelo bells, and the old speaking trap
in thBTocf will be replaced by a speaklcgtube.
Now the story is tbat a French woman of
rank and wealth has eloped with one or Buffalo
Bill's half-breeds arfd is on her ay to America.
People with theories about hands, eyes or
noses can deduce their own conclusions from
tbe face tbat General Boulanger's ears stand
out at an angle of 45 degrees.
A deb belonging to a swarm that a Dorset
shire farmer was attempting to hive got down
the man's throat andstnng him, and,the throat
swelling very rapidly, tbe man died of suffoca
tion. Great preparations have been made at
Oberammercaa for the Passion Flay next
year. Newcostnmes have been procured. The
orchestra and auditorium have been increased,
at an expense ot T;O0Q.
SINCE the phylloxera has so ravaged France,
Turkey ps looming np as a wine-rroducing
country. Some of the southern provinces are
said to be excellent as wne-growing districts,
both for climate and soli;
In Warasdin. Croatia a mother of 117 years
gave away bsr maiden gangster of 83 to a tram,
way conductor of M. pie elder lady of the
two .was in an. tcstacy of. delight at .having
lived to see her child mArried.
HEW T0RK NOTES.
A Determined Solclde.
:siw Tons BUREAU srxciALs.1
New YORst, July BL Bernard Werner, a con
firmed drunkard, took a big dose of paris
green in a pint of beer this afternoon. Tbe
poison made blm sick, but had no deadly effect
In the evening he had his 5-year-old child
buy blm two ounces more of pari green,
which he dissolved in a glass of beer. As he
was laising tbe glass to his lips bis wife knocked
it from his hand. He regained it and crowded
down bis throat the thick green paste at the
bottom of it. Then he stretched himself on
the floor to die. It took him from 4 in tbe after
noon till 2 in the morning. His wife and chil
dren witnessed his struggle with death, but he
forbade them with vile threats to fetch a doc
tor. When It was all over tbey told a police
man. Werner left six young children and his
sick wlfo penniless.
A Tbrrndbnre Story.
Emaatico Bolllnl, Marchlsl'o Delia Pradosa,
Count and Marquis, of Italy, has just deserted
bis bride of six months. He first met and
loved her at a private ball in New York one
year ago. She tried in vain to Induce her
father, Count Cata LVcampo, a wealthy South
American Spaniard, to consent to her mar
riage to the Italian nobleman. She married
against the wishes of both parents six months
ag. Count Bollini made short work of some
(20,000 worth of her property and asked for
more. She told blm she had no more. He
thought she lied, and whipped her with a strap
to make her tell the truth. He kicked her,
beat her and threw furniture at her repeatedly.
Last night he took all her jewelry, money and
furniture and disappeared. She Is trying to
find him with the belp of the police. She says
she loves him still, and wishes to catch him
morely tbat she may live with him again.
A Daring Attempt to Escape.
Charles Brown, charged with burglary, tried
to escape Imprisonment to-day by jumping
from a second story window at the Jefferson
Market Police Court While In the examina
tion room talking with bis lawyer, be suddenly
leaped through tbe window glass and shntters.
He dangled from the sash a second by one
heel. A court officer grabbed It Brown kicked
himself loose, landed below on his hands, and
dashed off up the street Two policemen
jumped from the window after him, and gave
chase. Brown and his pursuers ran through
three streets, up an alley way, tumbled over a
dozen back fences, and finally brought up in
the rear of a barber shop. Dnring tbe ensuing
tussle the revolver of the court officer went
ff twice. No one was shot. Brown was hand
cuffed and brought back to court
Off" For Earopr.
Mr. and Mrs. William J. Florence, Mrs. Mar
shall O. Roberts. Vice Admiral It D.Grant
and the Hon. Robert A. McLane sailed for
Europe to day.
A Restaurant Syndicate.
A syndicate of English capitalists is trying to
buy Delmonico's restaurants. It is said that
f 1,000,000 was tbe amount of their flrst.offer,
which was refused. The same syndicate will
also endeavor to get control of the restaurants
along the lines of the principal railways in this
country, and conduct them after the plans of
Spiers & Pond, in England. The consumma
tion of the syndicate's plans has been delayed
by the difficulty of finding a chief steward to
take charge of the enterprise. The position of
general manager has been offered to M. Dorval,
now caterer ot tbe Cafe Savarin and the Law
yer's Club. M. Dorval said to-day: "I have not
accepted their offer, for the simple reason tbat
I see twj or three years of very hard work be
fore me. Those who have been in the business
know that the details of such an enterprise
would be enormous. The scheme ought to be
successful, however."
A Barglnr la (he Dumb Walter.
A burglar with a sweet tooth visited the resi
dence of Mr. John H. Kase at 1070 Broad street,
Newark, some time yesterday morning. He
got into the basement and finding tbe doors
leading to the upper floors seenrely locked, he
climbed into tbe dumb waiter and hoisted
himself into the butler's pantry, where he
feasted Upon cake, pie and sweetmeats. At 4
o'clock In the morning, after an unsuccessful
search of the house, he went down stairs and
opened the back door to afford easy means
of escape before venturing Into MrJCase's bed
room. This was a serious mistake, for that
door was attacbecUto a bnrglar alarm, which
rang above the proprietor's bed. Mr. Kase
jumped up and ran into the hall just as the
bold burglar was coming upstairs. "What do
you want?" asked Mr. Kase, that being tbe first
thing tbat suggested Itself as being appropri
ate to tbe occasion. Tbe burglar put his hand
to his hip pocket and said in gruff tones: "Get
back. Get back into your hole." Mrs. Kase
then asked ber husband if he wanted his re
volver. He said he did, and met her half way
as she brought the pistoL Meantime tbe bnr
glar blew out his light and skipped out tbe
back door and over the fence. He took with
him nothing but the pie.
TEI-STATB TBIFLES.
James Willis was driving home to Bloom
field, Pa the other day, wben the left spindle
of his buggy broke, and the horse ran off dump
ing the driver and his bulldog by the roadside.
The dog made a dart caught tbe lines by the
bridle bit, and clung there till his master had
tbe horse secured.
The Jamestown, Pa., School board has Is
sued orders forbidding lady teachers to embark
either in courting or matrimony.
In McKeesport day before yesterday, as a
family living near Burkholder's quarry were at
dinner, a 200-pound stone which had come
through the roof and upper floors smashed
through the dinner table and Into tbe cellar
with havoc to tbe chlnaware and furniture.
No one was hurt
SQUTBBELSare destroying the shade trees in
Corry by gnawing off the bark.
A gentleman in Fottstowrf, Pa., knows of
threo ladies whose baptismal name is Hannah
ette. Jcst after the guests at a Philadelphia party
tho other night had eaten watermelon a bary
tone bad the bad sorse to sing: "Just a little
happiness; just a Httlepain!"
SoMEpostagastamps which bad liquefied In
a Philadelphia merchant's pocket and were
spread out to dry a few days ago, caught 15
'flies and ono "sickly green" stamp was miss
ing, haviug evidently been flown away with.
JonN Wilkins, of Wampus, O., let his razor
fall whllo shaving, the ether day, and cut off
his big toe.
There is a man In Preston county. West
Virginia, who is about as false as he can be.
He wears a wig, has a g.oss eye, faUe teeth, a
wooden leg and is engaged as circulation clerk
on one of the county newspapers.
Chewing gum has no attraction for LIIHe
Burrows, an 8-ycar-old girl of Crane, O. She
chews blotting paper and cannot be persuaded
to use a substitute.
At a party given by Miss Mollle Marx, of
Olion, W. Va., tbe other evening, bum and eggs
wer6 served for supper and an organette fur
nished tbe dance music
Mabcus Botxs, of Marlon, O., has a process
by which with a blow lamp and certain chem
ical, he can blow names into glass in less time
than it would tike to paint them. He obtained
some very beautiful effects in prismatic colors,
and as It costs about one-half what painting
does, he expects it to supersede all otuer kinds
of lettering on glass.
A neab-sighted amateur photographer, of
Lima, O., took what be thought was a very af
fecting picture of a young lady kissing a young
man in a shaded dell near tbat town. Wben be
developed the picture it affected him a great
deal more tban be bargained for, as the young
lauy provea to uo. au wiie.
Thebb Is a husband In Garrett county, West
Virginia, wbo only permits his wife to have one
pair of shoes at a time, and when be wants her
to stay at home ha locks the shoe in a trunk.
, Moboaktown, W. Vh hai a Germaaj who
HCUB UMDAj BiUlOs, 'f"-
COKIODS C0KDMSAT10KS.
Stone Mountaln,Ga.,peopIe areengagod
in killing mad dogs. ,
John Christie, a Marion, Kan. man,
has a field of oats six feet talk
Asa Williams killed Sidney Gofl,-in
Macon, Ga., the other night for 5 cents. -;'?
There is a movement in Canada to abol-'
ish the wearing of black for mourning. ,,--(
A colored man at Albany. Ga.;-haSt-
served no less than 21 terms in jail for fighting.
A petrified tree was recently unearthed"
at Farmlngdale, N. J., 16 feet below the sur-
face. ' IT-
In a section a few miles square about
McRae. Ga.. there has not been a heavy rain
since April 14. -
A prisoner in a Kentucky Jail at-?
tempted to commit snlcide by eating two dozen
pads of blotting paper. -J
The new Boston Directory for 1889, just
published, contains 198,853 names, as against
191,753 nsmes last year, showing an fn crease off
only 1,100 names. t
In tbe Paris circus a trained lion is,at
present being exhibited who rides on horse-;"
back, jumps tbrongh hoops and over bars, flrei-T
off pistols and performs a number of similarF
tricks. ' t
Realism in art will have an extraor-'
dinary revelation in New York, when a lion,
painted by a Boston artist, is placed In position.
The owner of tbe picture, a hotel man, will
illuminate the lion with electriclty-and place it
behind a row of real bars.
M. Sopinard, the great French anthro
pologist has been led by tbe shape of the leg
bones of the "men of Spy" to the conclusion
tbat these remote ancestors of the tinman race "
bad their lower extremities half bent like those
anthropboid apes tbat inhabit trees.
The White Fruit Cannersof the Pacific
Coast are to hold a meeting this week to con-
stder the advisability of boyeottlne the Chinese
fruit can n era. According to tbe San Francisco
papers. Chinamen are going Into this business
extensively, and are underselling their rivals.
A real estate dealer of Chicago hit upon
a novel way to advertise his business and to
celebrate the national holiday. July 4 he held
a jubilee on his allotment and fired Into the air
a skyrocket to which was attached a quit claim
deed for a lot The man wbo found the deed
gets the lot
It is to be presumed that a London
paper has made its computation with accur
acy when it says that all the people now living
in the world, or about' 1,400.000,000, could find
standing room within tbe limits of a field ten
miles square, and, by tbe aid of a telephone,
could be addressed by a single speaker.
A new shaping tool has been invented
a machine in which two flat surfaces, acting
vertically or horizontally and moving id oppo
site directions, with adjustable dies fixed upon
them, roll in one motion a piece of metal, regu
lar or irregular in shape, and of almost any de
sired pattern. At a single stroke of tbe me
chanism may be obtained a sphere, a cone, a
chair screw, a bolt with thread and head in
fact an endless variety of mechanical forms.
A large building going np in Atlanta
is attracting considerable attention, because of
several inscriptions on Its walls. "This is the
House That Jack Built" stands ont In bold relief -near
tbe top of the structure. At the second
story is tbe sentence, "J. N. Smith's Building;
Commenced 100 Years After the Inauguration
of George Washington as-First President of
the United States." A third inscription, cut
in stone at the top of the first story, reads
"Paul Says. Owe No Man, Let Posterity Take
His Advice."
The congregation of Trinity Church,
Buffalo, N. r , has been quite disturbed re
cently by the faulting of choir boys during the
service. Within the last two months not less
than three of the younger singers have become
unconscious and been carried to tbe vestry
room. Naturally the parents of the boys have
become alarmed, and fear there is some local
reason for the tr ouble. Tbe ventilation of the
chancel has been severely criticised, and, in
fact the arcnltect has been strongly condemned
for neglecting to attend to this defect in the
main body of tbe church. Acting under in
sructiops, the trustees lately arranged for
letting fresh air Into the chancel, and thought
thus to remedy the trouble. Yet the boys have
continued to faint and the authorities are at
a loss what to do. Several parents have cone y
so far as to say that their children shall not
sing there, and the choir is likely to be serious
ly affected if these tbreats are carried out
While It is alarming, in one sense, to have a
child lose consciousness. It is not an nnnatnral
experience with young boys wbo sine; The
best authorities on tbe voice and its treatment
say that thercis no danger in it
Shortly after the return home of two
young Georgians who graduated with honors
at a medical college, and who thought what
they didn't know wasn't worth knowing, a
negro residing in the commnnity died of some
strange disease so strange that the resident
practicing physician hesitated to designate for
it any of the nomenclature with which their
profession abounds. The young graduates an
nuunced to their Inner circle of friends that
tbey intended to examine the corpse and an
nounce to the public the cause of tbe death.
They invited a party of chums tu witness the
examination. A vacant one-room house was
secured, located on tbe main street A large
vat was secured, and into this a solution ot
prepai ed stuff was poured, which was Intended
to preserve the body and keep it In its perfect
state. The grave was opened and the corpse
taken out and put into the vat Everything
had worked smoothly, and the dissection
was to take place tbe next night
The party was formed, the night for examina
tion bad come. Tho body was floating in the
vat face upward. It was taken out and placed
on the table. As tbe first knife touched the
corpse, the body quivered. A shudder passed
over tbe student His associates, more bold,
grasped the knife, and attempted to cut the
body. As the blade pierced the form, the sup
posed dead man again quivered, a moan es
caped from his lips, and bo sat upright The
students and their friends dashed for open air,
the corpse following. The negro had been In a
trance.
FUNNY MEN'S FANCIES. , "
When you feel like calling a big man a
liar be sure you're rlzht then use the telephone.-
Lift. , t
"George," said the maiden, fondly, "did
you hear Willie's Are crackers Just nowf "Yes, V
Miia MantallnU I did." "Didn't it pop (race.
fully 1" It was enough. Harper's Bazar.
We believe tbat the summer resort that i
will advertise a new piano this year win do a My -
business; but tbe summer resort that has . .
piano will do the biggest business of alL Atlanta "
Constitution.
McCorkle It's queer that none of theso
railway robbers are women.
Mrs. ilcCorkle (indignant) Indeed! And why?
McCorkle Because they know so well how to c
hold up a train. Epoch. ' :
The Chicago Idea. "Will you share my " .
lot with met" asked he of the real estate agent's "
daughter.
"What Is ltworth a front foot?" calmly Inquired
the sweet creature. Chicago Mail.
"King Milan is fearfully short of niensy "V
and utterly witnont creaii." wnen nro:c;ey
read this he thrust both bands into his pockets up
to the wrists, and exclaimed, melodramatically;
"Now 1 know what it Is to feel like a king."
IMtgtndt Vlattter.
Smartfellow Yes, I'll be away soma '
weeks. I'm going to Oklahoma. '.
Uoodfellow Oklahomar Why. you are too late. V'
BmirtIellow-.No, I'm lust In time. I hare three "w
or four carloads of sandwiches which I am going;
to trade for corner lots. Sew Xork Wetktg. . ,
Depot Official I regret to say, madam,
that you have missed connections and there will
be no train north for six hours. '
Lady Traveler-Very welt If yon will direct
me to the nearest large drygoods establishment 1 '
will buy something and spend the time waltjng -
for my change. Burlington iYei Press.
Magnificent Creature (actress in new . ,
paper counting roora)-0. lr, I called to see the,.
paper In regard to a very large number of valaa -b
e diamonds and a quantity or Jewelry which.
were stolen from my room at the hotel last night.
Clerk-Yes, madam; will yon kindly step to the -advertising
department two windows to the leTtt
Harper's Bazar. rT
Weeping widow Ton are sure, Mr.
Boneplanter, that you will conduct everything In
a satisfactory manner? Kmlnent undertaker
liave no xear on iui score. ucg ox yoo, airs. je
Blllhope. Of all the people I have boned la myiSC-J
long andsueeessfhl career lam proud to say, that r J
not one ever raised the slightest objection tomyQSF
work.-TT .Haute ,&?. -. pv
TO BCJTALO BILL. .," ft ,ift
Scoop In the francs, dear Bill, ,- sj'-
Win your great Wild West-big Injuns from Newilfc
jersey, nerj, noiaisra siccus, reckless IT?
untamed
rider, shaggy buffaloes, sunburned eow.t
. .. -
boys, etcetera; x - c .. ' .
Our congratulations scoot thousands of. miles &
across the vasty deep-, . v' "JS
(Ours ana our cousins-, auo our uncles, likewise
our other relatives, -Including our auqt In the -.
eouniryj . a i
All the mates, blood-cemented, oaa and 'insepa-. J
raora, - s
All free wool aud a yard wWe. .-l. -
Cry with one voice, Oo In aud wti oM want .
jtomswum jterata attrjnut 1
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