1 ' E w KSTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8, 1S4S. Vol. , Ko. 87. Entered at Pittsburg Postofflce, jcovember it, 18S7, as second-class matter. Business Office 97 and 69 Fifth Avenue. News Rooms and Publishing House 75, 77 and 70 Diamond Street. Average set circulation of the dally edi tion of The Diipatch for six month ending May 1, 1SS9. 28,051 Copies per Issue. Arerase net circulation of the Bandar edU Uon of The Dispatch for April, 1SSS, 46,143 Cnpfes per inane. - .. i. i v " TERMS OF THE DISPATCH. FOSTAOE FKE IX THE TOTTED ETATES. DAttT DisrATCH. One Year t 8 00 DAILT DISPATCH, Tcr Quarter 2 00 Daily Dispatch, One Month 70 Daily Dispatch, Including Sunday, one year 19 00 Daily Dispatch, Including Sunday, per quarter. ISO Daily Dispatch, including Sunday, one month - 90 Euxday Dispatch, oneyear 5 50 Weekly Dispatch, one year. 1 25 The Dailt Dispatch la delivered byxarricrs at 35 cents per week, orlnclnaing the Sunday edition, at a cents per week. ' PITTSBURG, SUNDAY, MAY 5, 1888L Voluntary contributor should keep copies of articles. If compemation is desired the price expected must be named. The courtesy of re turning rejected manuscripts uHU be extended when stamps for that purpose are enclosed, but Vie Editor of The Dispatch trill under no circumstances be responsible for the care of un solicited manuscripts. Thla Issue of THE DISPATCH, contains SO pages, made up of THREE PARTS. Fallnre on the part of Carriers, Agents, Keusdenlers or Newsboys to supply pa. irons willi a Complete Number should be promptly reported to this office. POSTAGE All persons who mall the Sunday issue of The Dispatch to friends should bear In mind the fact that the post age thereon Is Two (2) Cents. All doable nnd triple number copies ol The Dispatch lcqnlre a 2-cent stamp to Insure prompt delivery. IS THESE AHY PB00F I The Bar Association yesterday, by a vote tef about two to one, refused to give its in dorsement to the investigation of Judge White's conduct in granting licenses. This may be taken as a rather strong indication that the prima facie case of corrupt or im proper motives was not presented. If there were any definite charges supported by proof, so large a majority of the bar could not hare voted against investigation. It must be said, too, that so far as the public is concerned, no evidence warranting an investigation with the purpose of this one, is yet known of. Baking up old short comings in the Judge's personal relations are absolutely without pertinence; and yet that comprises all that has taken definite public form. The only thing that can give the movement any claim upon pnblic toler ation is evidence that licenses were granted for improper considerations. If such evi dence can be produced, the movement will have some standing. Until it is, it is not likely to gain any respect among the thoughtful and unprejudiced. That being the situation at present one consideration is worths the attention of those who re behin-riismovement If the ex ercis by a Judge of the discretion imposed upon him, is made the basis of talk of im peaching him, what will be the effect on the great mass of the people who believe in regulating the liquor traffic, hut are not yet prepared to go to the length of prohibi tion? It is worth while to remember that in this last issue of licenses the Judge was not so rigid as many other Judges in the State who exercised their discretion to the extent of refusing licenses altogether. "When the more moderate discretion of giving the people of Pittsburg 93 places for liquid refreshment, leads to raking up old' stories and talk of impeachment, will not the natural reaction among those who wish to see this traffic restrained be toward a vote for the amendment? If the movers against Jndge White have any proof of corruption, they should go ahead; but they should have this warning: If they cannot make out a good case they -will do more for prohibition than an army of prohibition orators can. H0K0ES TO STANLEY. The suggestion in England, of govern mental and other public honors to be paid to Henry M. Stanley on his return from Africa, is certainly warranted by the achievements of that explorer. Pew men have done more than he to de serve such a recognition. The man jner in which he took up Dr. Livingstone's work and carried it far beyond the hopes of his predecessor in exploration by opening lip the Congo, the exploration of the African lakes, the founding ot the Congo Free State, and finally his march from the Arnwhimi to the head of the Nile, present a record which few explorers either of this or'past generations can rival. 'With all this work, tending to the same object which Livingstone had in view, namely, the sup pression of the African slave trade, Stanley has the right to figure as one of the great practical philanthropists of the age. But it isiard to see how anything in the line of usual governmental honors in England can meet the case. 1o title can make him more famous than the name of Henry M. Stanley already is. Perhaps the most appropriate honor that could be paid him would be for the civilized world to unite in putting down the slave-trade, without any plans for terri torial aggrandizement ANOTHER GUARANTEE "WANTED. They are discussing, out in Chicago, the proposition to give by legislation the power to municipal bodies of restraining and regu lating the corporations that have franchises of in exclusive character. Of course the cor porate interest objects to that method as it would to any other of regulating maximum charges (or gas, telephones and streetcar fares. The discussion brings out an editorial from the Tribune on the thesis: "Enlarging council powers is no injustice to trust monopolies." The point appears to be pretty well established, but it fails to cover the whole subject From experience in Pittsburg) and we understand that Chicago has bad similar instruction), it is also im portant to have it demonstrated that en larging Council powers would not also en large the powers of the trust monopolies. TOO HORNS IK CKURCE. A gentleman writes to a Chicago paper complaining of a man with a fog horn voice who occupied a seat near the middle of the central section in Grace M. E. Church in that city last Sunday evening and sang with such desperate energy that nobody within a circuit of ten feet around him could bear even the cornet .ox the organ. -He asks if there is no way by which a living calliope, that roars as with a pressure of 100 -pounds to the square inch, can have a "pp" stop affixed to it when it-comes to church to take charge. of the singing? The Chicago journal suggests no remedy, we regret to say. Nuisances of this char acter are not at all unknown in Pittsburg. Sometimes the dreadful being with the tre mendous voice is a regular attendant at the church, and then again he is often an Ish maelite who wanders from church to church spreading consternation wherever he. goes. Generally the devastating howler is a man, but we have encountered more than, one woman whose voice was too strong for any use but crushing stone, and whose persist ent vocal efforts have destroyed the har mony and soul of an entire service. Seriously speaking, a man or woman who habitually throws a divine service out of gear by his or her vocal bombardment is a fit subject for discipline, and if necessary expulsion, at the hands of the authorities of the church. Human calliopes are out of place where choral or congregational sing ing is concerned. They are right handy in times ot political excitement or as a stimulus to the sale of stale fish or unripe bananas. TRUTH FITLY SPOKEN. It was inevitable that Bishop Potter's timely remarks at the New York Centen nial on the manner in which the growth of wealth and the rise of the plutocracy has led this country away from its early stand ards, should be .received without cries of dis approval by those whose toes were trodden upon; but it is singular that the reference to "the royalties of virtue" and "the austere simplicity" of the fathers shouldbe construed by others, as obnoxious praise of the ideas of class distinction which many people en tertained in Washington's time. It should not take any great exertion of the intellect to perceive that the Bishop was right in claiming that the xnosi democratic senti ments are involved in the honors which are paid to virtue and integrity. To object to the praise of such qualities' because it as sumes the form of saying that tney consti tute true royalty is pure demagogy. But perhaps, the most singular criticism of the Bishop's remarks is that given by a New York clergyman who professes entire adherence to the Bishop's view.' This gen tleman asserts that he believes "every word of it to be the clean-cut truth," but he thinks that it was ill-timed, because it might hurt the feelings of some of the distinguished persons who were present when the sermon was delivered. It is hard to conceive of any weaker plea than this. If there ever was a time when it was timely to give serious con sideration to the standards upon which this republic is founded, and of the particulars in which this generation has departed from them, it was at the Centennial which cele brated the foundation of the Government To say that the clean-cut truth should not be spoken on such an occasion, because it might injure the feelings of some, who had perhaps risen to eminence through the violation of the original principles, is simple time serving. If the truth is never to be spoken, because it may wound the susceptibilities of certain distinguished individuals, we may as well give ourselves up to a geneiation of lying and humbug. Bishop Potter only Epoke the truth which is now impressing itself upon the minds of the vast majority of thoughtful and earnest citizens. 'Theoftenersuchtruthsore spoken, and the more thoroughly they are laid to heart, the better will we preserve this coun try in the pnrity and freedom on' which the fathers established it THE OWL AND EAGLE. We regret to learn that the esteemed Mr. Howells, having expressed his disapproval of Dickens and Thackeray, as masters in the art of fiction is, now engaged in the attempt' to expunge Walter Scott from the list of authors whom people read nowadays. We are sorry to observe the danger of collision between Walter Scott and Mr. Howells as exponents of different schools of fiction, for the same reason that George Stephenson de plored collision of his railway trains with a cow. It will be bad for the coo. , We understand Mr. Howells to object to Scott on account of his political-predilections as well as his literary style. Scott was & Tory, an admirer of feudalism, a lover of the middle ages, almost as bad as Shakespeare, in addition to being super ficial and seeing only the outside show and trappings of things. Some of this is true, but its erroneous application is shown by one fact Whenever Scott treats of the days in which his political prejudices might be expected to show themselves, he is scrupulously fair.- The reader has the lib erty lett him to sympathize with the Puri tan and even the Cameronian. Markham Everard, Henry Morton, and even the fierce Burley of Balfour are as favorably drawn as any of the royalist heroes; while the characters of Boger,Wildrake,Bothwell, Cleverhouse and even Charles II expose the weakness of royalist doctrines as fully as any picture of roundhead grimness or fanalacism. No better proof of Scott's fidelity to truth can be asked than the fair ness with which he showed both sides of the contest where his politics would be expected to enlist his prejudices on one side. It will be a sad day for the youth of this generation when they lose the habit of read ing Walter Scott, they will not only lose an illimitable field of enjoyment and vast in centives to imagination, but they will miss a positive educational influence. It would be hard to say how many boys have first discovered from Walter Scott that history is something more than dry bones, and gained the broad views that are. to be ob tained by seeing in it the story of genera tions of life and action; there are number less cases of this sort It is safe to say that Walter Scott has done more in the way of putting real life into historical studies for the past two. generations, than any other single influence. It is true that many of his stories treat of subjects as to the reality of which we have no means of judging. It is also true that he is prone to dealing with battles, plots and heroism rather than every day events. But is Mr. Howells' pocket rule of realism to exclude all such things from the list of those that are real? Are there no nobler things in act aal life than petty tattle or the futile discussion of imaginary social dis tinctions? Do the great achievements of history offer no higher subject for the pen of the writer than the chronicling of small beer? We have a real liking-for Mr. Howells as a delicate and neat painter of ffenre. work in fiction. Bnt a genre, painter who pro ceeded to exclude Michael Angelo, Detaille, Yandyke and Rubens from the ranks of art would expose himself to severe but not un just sarcasm. If Howells can rule Walter Scott out of the list of live literature it will be the latest example, how "An eagle soaring In his pride of place Was hawked at by a mousing owl and killed." Newspapeb comment U generally to the effect that experience, proved, the hundred and sixty-seven foot bar at the Centennial ball to be none too long. Still experience seems to make another conclusion possible. kIf the bar had been much longer the chances are that all New York would now be en gaged in a life and death struggle, with the snakes. Mb. Jeffebsoit Davis is quoted as say ing that Washington's most serviceable trait was "abstinence from sectional or par tisan feeling and faithful adherence to the compact of the Union." As a result of this entire dissimilarity from the character of Mr. Jefferson Dayis, another contrast is shown in the fact that Washington built up the Union and Mr. Jefferson Davis tried to destroy it .The contrast is completed by the fact that Washington succeeded and Mr. Davis did not. , The report that the B. & O. refuses to pay the coupons of a branch which it guaranteed, but will "purchase them at par," looks like aifine-drawn case of the distinction between tweedledum and tweedledee. But the dis tinction may make a .difference when it comes to the point of absorbing the branch road, It is painful to learn from a report of1 Lord Salisbury's recent speech at Bristol that His Lordship is very angry at the Par nell movement In his view the Parnell movement "is controlled by universal greed," is criminal in its character and is upheld by "embezzlement and fraud," and other bad qualities. This harsh language is jiroof that much annoyance over the fail ure of the Times to make good his charges has made His Lordship very mad. Ax obituary notice of the late Mr. Bar num states that he was a shrewd but hot a fastidious politician. Fastidious politicians are rather scarce nowadays. Senator Quay has been fastidious once or twice since the inauguration, but he isn't that way all the time. These is a rather unfortunate inference in the Philadelphia Press' assertion that Lord Dunraven will be sure to get fair play for his yacht in the race for the Americas cup, because American yachtsmen "can beat the world so easily, and fairly that they are never even tempted to be tricky." Would the esteemed Press concede that if Americans could not beat the world so easily that they might be tempted to be tricky? It is reported from Paris that De Lesseps refuses to give np the Panama Canal scheme. We supposed that this had been made un necessary by the fact that thePanama Canal scheme gave De Lessens up some time ago. Mb. Wabd MgAixisteb says that in his first speech before the committee having charge of the Centennial ball, he said, "Gentlemen, the problem which confronts ns is the champagne." The outcome haB fully justified Mr. McAllister's foresight. However gallantly the Four Hundred at tempted to conquer this problem, the testi mony is overwhelmingly unanimous to the effect that the champagne' was victorious. If the city takes to raiding the horse market on Duquesne way, it will soon be confronted with the problem of grading its prison tare so that the old plugs it gathers in will not get too -fat and frisky. The New York Sun makes its last head lines on the McAllister and Fish troubles: "My banquet fish balls." This is a neat play upon words, but it is Open to objection as an incorrect statement of the facts, sup posing it to be an expression of McAllister's with regard to the ownership of the banquet. So far as the outcome of the occasion indi cates, we should judge that in this case Mc Allister was Fish's meat Bismabck will please take notice that our new ship-of-war Chicago has fired off her guns successfully, and that she can make nearly as big a noise as her namesake without hurting anyone. And now Senator Dclamater intimates that Senator Upperman might possibly be tricky, and Senator Upperman repels the insinnation with scorn, and indalges in dark allusions as to what he has neyerdone, which the public is left to suppose some one not far away from the Crawford county Senator's seat may have done. Jf the Senators will fall ont a little more the public may getsome interesting information. PEBSONAL FACTS AND FAHCIE8. 27. Victor Adolph Maltb-Bbttn, a son of the illustrious geographer, is dead. He was himself a geographer of high attainments. The late' Jeremiah Learned, ot Worcester, Mass., left a generous legacy to the people ot Oxford for a tree library and for cemetery im provements. Some of the papers speak of Mr. Depew as an "old man." This a blunder. Mr. Depew is just 65 years of age, and be is as lively in his youth ful way as he was a long, long time ago. H0N.WnJ.IAH G. P. Bheckinbidoe, of Kentucky has accepted an invitation to deliver the address at the dedication of the National Forefathers' Monument at Plymouth, Mass., August 1. Gail Hamilton practices greater economy In writing paper than almost any other literary man or woman. She always writes on scraps of paper, the backs of old envelopes being her favorite material. The Straduarius violin which was presented to Dr. Joachim at his jubilee celebration for merly belonged to Lady Lindsay, and is the very one which she held In her hands' when Watts painted her portrait. Secketakt Pbogtob, accompanied by Ad jutant General Drum, Colonel BarrandMr. Partridge', bis private secretary, left Washing ton yesterday morning for a tour of Inspection of the Leavenworth military prison and West cm military posts. The party will be Joined at Chicago by Major General Schoflcld. William H. Burgess, who lives in Alexan dria, Va., assisted in 1838 in building Wash ington's new tomb at Mount Vernon. He says: '1 was a lad then, bnt I remember that in re moving the bodies ot George and Martha to their present tomb we decided o open the coffin. I looked in and saw General Washing ton's face. The body was well preserved and the features were Intact. There was nothing to indicate' the time be bad been dead. A minute after exposure to the air there was a collapse and nothing was recognizable. The face looked like his pictures." Bushbod WASurKQTorr Adams, of Phila delphia, owns George Washington's watch and seal. They are on deposit at the vaults of the Guarantee Trust and Bate Deposit Company. Mr. Adams father was the most intimate friend of General Washington's nephew, Jndge Busbrod Washington. The watch ana seal, together with two of Washington's diaries, were left to Mr. Adams by' name in Judge Washington's wilt The existence of the two dairies was not known to the United States Government until last year, when a stenog rapher was sent to Philadelphia to copy them, and,ihus completed the, collection of Wash ington's dairies. ' In Honor of General McPherson. Washington, May i By direction of the President the new military post near Atlanta, Ga., will be known and designated'as "Fortlc phRrson." in honor to the memory of James Dirdseye McPherson, Brigadier General United. (States army, ana Major uenerai or volunteers, who was killed near the site July 22, liiOi. The Enlo of the Bond Gossip Personal and Otherwise The Baltimore Oriole. Sojie time ago, a friend of mine who was re turning from a long tour, discovered that the train on which he was traveling did not stop at the station near which his iome was. If he stayed on the train he found that he would not be able to reach, home that night. It So chanced that he knew tho conductor of the train very well, and he ankedjblm it he could suggest any way out of the dfflculty. The con ductor said that the rules of the road would not allow him to stop the train at the way station in question, but he said he thought ho knew a way by which the gentleman could get out where be wished to, "After we pass -and are neanngthe sta tion at which yon desire to get out" said the conductor, "I will come around and collect tickets, and yon will profess to be unable to find yours. Then I shall, as the rules of the road direct, put you off the train." The plan worked like a charm. When the conductor came around the passenger ap peared to be unable to find his ticket and the former said be was -very sorry, but he would have to stop the train and put him off. Dut, unfortunately, a passenger sitting in the next seat very charitably volunteered to pay the gentleman's fare to Pittsburg. Hero was a difficulty which neither the condnctor nor the passenger had thought of. My friend, how ever, bad tho nerve to immediately declare that it was a matter of principle; that he had paid for his ticket once, and' didn't intend to' pay for it again, or that anyone else should pay it for him. He would rather be thrown from the train than give up his idea of what was right As the train reached the station at which my friend wished to alight the con. ductor pulled the bellropo and the train was stopped. My friend cot off, said "Thank you" to the conductor under his breath, and -walking up to his house, which was near the sta tion, stopped at tho gate and waved his hand, kerchief to the philanthropic gentleman who bad wished to pay his tare. judge White lives in a rather pretty frame house on Broad street, in Bewickley, almost opposite the Methodist Church, of which he Is a saining light. He has filled the pulpit occa sionally, and he is in great demand for all sorts of church affairs. Among the Methodists, and, in fact church people generally, Judge White is decidedly popular. . Poob Charley Clifford, who hag been man aging the "Uncle Tom's Cabin" show this sea son, which appeared at Harris' Theater last week, has seen too much of the rough side ot theatrical life to be much charmed with it It is remarkable, though, that his overcoat is, perhaps, the most gorgeous ever seen in Pitts burg. The coat is like unto the shaggy hide of a toy buffalo bleached. It would cover several men of Clifford's size pleasantly. It was a curious thing last year how many people struck at the same time the idea of a big "Uncle Tom's Cabin" show. The experi ment as it was tried by the Pittsburg parties cost Dr. Charles Scott three or four thousand dollars, and Mr. Clifford's father a larger sum probably, and several others their time and hard work without salary. The show on a Cheap basis has made some money, hut it will not make enough by the end of the season to recoup the original proprietors, for their earlier losses. Young Mr. Clifford is going to stay in the theatrical business, but it is not probable that he will try any more experiments in starting large "Uncle Tom's Cabin" shows. V The Transatlantic steamships' line this summer win certainly make larger profits than they have done for many years. The steam ships from now on will be crowded to their utmost capacity, and I hear it is already hard to get anything like decent accommodations in the crack steamers. Almost every day I hear of new parties being formed to go to the Paris Exposition, and probably before the summer is well 60t In the number of Plttsburgers abroad will run up into tho thousands. ... The Fort Wayne Railroad seems thoroughly wedded to the excellent plan of beautifying their stations all along its suburban lines. A great Improvement has been made at Sewick ley station by extending the lawns to the edge ol the east-bound platform. But what the -suburban service of the Fort Wayne Railroad need now most la an increase in the number of suburban trains. There is a special need of a faster theater train in addition to the present one. The theaters are generally out at 10-.3G or 10:43, and yet the unfortunate dwellers in the suburbs have'to wait at the Fort Wayne depot till 11:30 for a train which takes almost an hour to run 12 miles. The Fort Wayne Railroad loses a very large amount of patronage simply bo cause of its lack of enterprise in this direction. V Our national guards were very well treated when they were in New York this week. The people seem to have tried their utmost to make it pleasant lor the boys in blue. Battery B particularly fared well at the hands of the crowd, I am told. At one place on Broadway clears and sandwiches and even cash were dis tributed among the boys. V These is a great demand for .the phono graph. I am told, and the supply is not large enough to meet the demand. I think people who are blessed or cursed, as the case may be, with long noses, will find the phonograph, rather hard to use. A gentleman who has a re markably long aquiline nose, used The Dis patch's phonograph the other day, and it was found that the cylinder filled by him did not contain anything that could be ground ont again. The trouble was that his nose got into the receiver and his voice went away under neath it. V Ir it had been possible to have investigated simultaneously the minds of all Plttsburgers on Friday morning, I think it would have been found that the name of Judge White would have been engraved upon every one. Although it is now IS hours since the sensation was sprung, the proposed Judge White impeach ment remains the principal topic of conversa tion. ... Either warm weather is at hand or else one of the surest indications thereof has for once failed. The .Baltimore oriole, with its plum age of gold and black, is to be found in plenty now in the gardens around Pittsburg. He is one of the latest of our summer songsters to put in an appearance after his excursion for the winter South, and very seldom arrives be fore May, and is usually to be found then in the neighborhood of Japonlca busbe3 in bloom. It is quite curious, this particular fondness of tbe Baltimore oriole for the Japonlca. He may be seen sitting among tbe blossoms on a sunny morning almost always in May. Tho bright tint of his feathers makes a gorgeous combination of colors with the ruby blossoms. TO THE BALTIMORE OBIOLX. My little lord of Baltimore, The latest comer of them all. Who make brave music at my door, 1 hear your treble call. Sweetkolden robin, bird of name, Dressed out In finery; . Tbe red Japontca's a frame Expressly built for thee.'' And when the rnby blossoms fall. Sin ft thou their requiem, That we thy presence may recall, While sorrowlng'for them. Hepburn Jonxs. A Chicago History of tho United States. From the Mew York Tribune. ' We understand that a Chicago man is writing a revised history of this country based on im portant documents recently dug up on the lake front, In which he will prove that Columbus sailed into the Gulf ot St. Lawrence, up the "river of tbe same name, through the lakes, making a portage around Niagara Falls, and finally discovered America at the mouth of-the Chicago river. .Our historical friend will also show that subsequently Washington was born where the Union Stockyards now stand; that the battle of Bunker Hill was ought in tbe township of Lake, the Declaration ot Inde pendence signed somewhere on Blue Island .avenue, and the first Inaugural held on the site of the Palmer House. Chicago might have been a large town before this lilt had not been for her modesty,, . ' Too IUuclivCelebrstIon. from the Chicago Tribune,! Jadging from the fact that 'a column bf mis cellaneous plate matter was printed wrong end up in. the Fort Wayne (Ind.) Gazette ot Wednesday morning, the Centennial must have been celebrated 'with- inuch terror 'in' Fort Wayne. Boston's Highest Officials Soased.WUb Cold Writer From the Salt Ben. Boston, May 4. The hose on the new flre bdat engine played high jinks' to-day with ttie Aldermanic Committee and other notewortbles who had gathered to witness the official test Tho boat was tied up at,the Long Island. wharf, and the firemen" were' showing the open-eyed' Aldermen what a beautiful stream the new hose conld, play on suitable Occasions. Whether it was by way of treating tbe sight-seers Jo. a personal acquaintance with the usefulness of the apparatus or whether It was because they couldn't help It that the firemen concentrated the waters on one hoae will never be known. but suddenly this was done, and the hugerub- Der in Dc, once uoeratea, noppea ana squirmea around like a sea serpent,whipping the briny off Coney Island. .The hose played now upon the Aldermen, now upon the Mayor, who' was -present The next Instant it poured a deluge of salt water upon the visiting fire department officials, among them Chief Kevins, of Brooklyn. Then the hose lifted its 4-inch brass nozzle like an angry anacpnda, now.swiuging to and fro and dealing sledge-hammer blows upon tbe air, again beat ing a tattoo upon the deck. Of course it struck more or less people and did them bodily harm. It barked the shins of President Allen, of the Common Council, played football with Alder man Wilson and tore open his new spring trousers, besides drenching them irreparably. Jt knocked Alderman Short down with a blow in the ribs, and demoralized Alderman Kelly so as to all but Incapacitate him from doing his duty by his constituents. But the most painful blow the hose struck was that it dealt Reporter Hartley, ot tho Qlobe. His body was seriously battered, and one leg was so Injured as to necessitate his re moval to the hospital. All hands, from the Mayor down, were thoroughly drenched, and they resolved to watch the workings of that hose next time from a sate distance. BACK TO THE WHITE HOUSE. Mrs. Harrison Concludes Her Visit With 1 the Mortons nt tho Metropolis. Special Telesfam to Tbe Dispatch. NewYobk, May t Mrs. Benjamin Harri son left New fork for Washington at 4 o'clock this afternoon- Mrs. Harrison spent the day quietly with Mrs. Morton, driving in.Central Park early in the morning and later in the day receiving calls. At 3 o'clock in the afternoon Vice President Morton and Mrs. Harrison and ber maid rode across the Desbrosses street ferry to the Pennsylvania Railroad depot. The President's car, No. 60, which was attached to the Congressional limited express for Wash ington, was in waiting tor Mrs. Harrison. when Vice President Morton's carriage drove into the depot few people recognized him and there was no demonstration. Mrs. Harri son wore a quiet traveling gown and carried a large bunch of roses. She was accompanied only by her maid on her trip to Washington.. McKee and Russell Harrison will remain in New York until next week. AN IBDIAN GRAYfi FOUND. A String of Wampum nnd Other Belies Brought to Light. rSFZCIAL TELEORAM TO THE DISFATCH.1 Fbtolat, 0 May 1 While excavating gravel from banks on theEagy farm, near Van: Bnren, this county, workmen unearthed an In dian skelton in a good state of preservation, together with a jar and some wampum shells. The jar was earthenware, quite thin and of a dark color. It was brokenby workmen's picks in digging it out. Shells of what had been wampum belts fell to pieces on being touched. All were taken In charge by Dr. George, of Van Bnren. BASE HITS, ItoEBrouthcrs went out in the green, green Fields To play a game of baseball; The oldest one said, "We must Tfard off defeat If our opponents we have to Maui;" J3ut their opponents were Wise, and were all after Gore, Ana tbey knew that a hard ball Burns; But by practicing Dally, they were now hard ened up. And fora victory each one yearns. Tbey played, and the Brouthers were "done up quite Brown, " Beaten clear out of their boots ; But tbe crowd, like all local ones, evened things up, So the opponents got all the hoots. Percy Do you-think an umpire can render more accurate decisions from behind the pitcher's box tban he can from behind the catcnerf Humphrey Well, I don't know, but from the way the spectators take exceptlonstohls decisions one would imagine the most advantageous place to call strikes, balls, etc, would be a seat in the grand stand. The Alleghenys hare an abundance of fields Becreatlon Park and Jocko. The bootblacks do not take kindly to the light-colored shoes. Stbanoeh Can you tell me where the near est saloon Is? Pittsburger-Yes, sir; Just keep right on down this road for about three miles and then turn to -your right and walk another mile, ana you will find one. ' It is a peculiar honor that prompts the pay. m ent of club debts, to the detriment of the batch er's bill. JOHNirr You bad quite a number of good points In your last column, but you should adhere to prose, for your poetry Is somewhat of the rank order. ' Egoist -Yes : front rank. The novels of to-day are grossly immoral, but not a bit more so than the public taste. The umpire does his duty well. But when the home club's beaten the crowd will yell. Oh, the umpires are a very queer lot. And at times It looks as though they were bought But they're not; oh, no; of course not. Applicant Are you the manager of the Beatemall Baseball Club? Manager Yes. sir. Applicant Well, I would like to get a position on the nine. Manager-Did you ever play ball before? Applicant-No, sir. I workedin an iron mill. Mauager-Worked in an Iron mllll Well, I don't think I want you. AppIicant-Don't-wantme! Why, man, I never went out on strikes in my life. M&nager-That settles It. If I hired you ail the labor unions would boycott the club. Violets In the fields are blooming, The blossoms on the trees give way To tho fruit till 'ere it ripens, Will pain the small boy night and day. Doctors will be called on often, For a drug that'll cure a pain. Oh, this season has Its drawbacks, But for the M. D. 'tis all gain. See 8, Ska. DEATHS OP A DAT. Major John N. Edwards. ST. LOUIS, May 1 -Major John N. Edwards, one of tbe editors of the Kansas City Timti, and onebf the best and most favorably known news paper man In the West, died suddenly' and un expectedly at the McCarty House, In Jefferson City, at about 10 o'clock this morning from a stroke of paralysis. Malor Edwards had been at tbe State capital for some time looking after the live stock bill, tbe passage of which be fought strenuously. Major Edwards was one of tbe best known men in Missouri, At the breaking out of the war he was editor of the Lexington Exam iner. He went Into the Federal army, and was a Major on the stair of General Joe Shelby. . After tne war he wrote a history or Shelby and Ills men, andthtm came to St. Louis and accepted a posi tion on the Missouri Ktpublican. Since that time Major Edwards has been connected with various papers lu the SU(;c, returning to the Kansas City Times, with which he was formerly connected, about two years since. He was a brilliant and forcible writer, snd was as well acquainted with the politics of Missouri as any man In tbe State. There were many contradictions In bis disposi tion, and tbey often became the snbject of criti cism. He was tbe friend and apologist of the James boys dnrlnjr tbe bloodiest epoch of their career, yet he always tried to induce them to give np-their lawless life, and finally, after Jessie had been killed, It was Major Edwards who arranged for the surrender or Frank James, and by that surrender cut an end to the existence of that desperate gani or outlaws. Slsior Cclcstlne Dead. Sister Celestlne, of the Order of St. Joseph at Ebensbttrg, died Friday morning with that dread malady which hovers over a convent, consumption. Bhe'was known outside to tbe world as Miss Agnes McGurn. daughter of a former well-known citizen ofHollldaysburg. She was a sister of Paul Mc Gurn, a muslo teaeher. of Allegheny City, and a sister of a Mrs. Ward, also living on tbe North side. Hon. Harvey Teller. Special Telccram to The Dispatch. Ebie, May 4.- Hon Harvey Teller died to-day at tbe age of 87 of heart: disease. Deceased was born In Albany. X. Y and came to the scenes' of bis early Boyhood days and bis last days of com- rort as a ooy ana, on norseoacs. , r. leuer was a leading i.'epubllcan In this section ol the State: ; CREAM OF THE CAPITAL ' '- Ward McAllister's Visit A Kick From the Clans Retractions Doat Go Woltlnsj for n Fortune An Economic Question Washington's Building Boom. Special Telegram to The Dispatch. ' Washington, May . The most inspiring thine that has happened durinirthe weef was .jthe arrival and visit of Mr. Ward McAllister, oi new xorK. .Not uenerai McAllister, nur Colonel McAllister, nor even Captain McAllis ter, but plain Mr. McAllister. It is satisfac tion past description to have the opportunity of noting a famous arrival who does not attach, a military handle to his name. It Is a patriotic act worthy ot the highest admiration for Mr. McAllister to favor Washington with his pres ence when so many great men with titles had forsaken tbe capital of their country disloyally to give greater prominence to another city. His coming compensated wholly and completely for the loss of the President and Cabinet and all the other big guns. I see it was, announced by the Associated Press that Mr. McAllister made his appearance at the ball at a late hour. This is a slander upon the gentleman whose dignity would not allow him to do such an act after his Ill-treatment by tbe snobs and seekers after notoriety who took the- management of the ball and banquet out of the hands of the only man who was really competent for the herculean task, and tbe result of which act is seen in the scandalous conduct of tbe mob of plebeians who made np the vast majority of those present, and who would have been shut out of the place utterly had Mr. McAllister been permitted to havo his way. . It is sad that we cannot have the public honors of the coun try done by the small aristocratio circle which we have so carefully nursed during a whole century to bring it to maturity. Tho Clan McAllister. I have just beard a story of the Clan Mc Allister which I believe has not been printed, and which goes to show what .an antipathy ex ists in low-born people against persons born and bred gentlemen of the bluest blood. I do not remember to have seen it mentioned dur ing tbe unusual prominence of the clan Mc Allister in the last few weeks, that Mr. Ward McAllister, Jr., was appointed by President Arthur a Judge in Alaska Territory, There were protests against the appointment by boards of church missions and by others who were not impressed properly with the grandeur of the gentleman's family, "but bo was of Mr. Arthur's set and club, and be got tbe appoint ment After the election of President Cleve land reports came to the new administration of the performances of Mr. McAllister in Alaska. Mr. Cleveland's moral sense was outraged as It had never been before, and Mr. Judge Mc Allister was peremptorily recalled. A para graph appeared in one New York newspaper gently reciting the facts, and fortbis the editor was besieged with letters from Mr. Ward Mc Allister. Sr., and many others of tbe famous Four Hundred, denouncing the publication and asking for a retraction. Like most pro prietors of newspapers the owner of this one bad a distaste for making retractions, and be fore taking that step suggested to his manag ing editor that the correspondent be written to and asked to give his authority for the state ments. The matter was presented to Attorney General Garland, who stated that it was not his province to disouss the truth or the falsity of the charges before the public. The allegations were there and could be seen by the friends of Mr, McAllister, The department bad recalled Mr. McAllister. He would, however, venture tbe remark that if the charges were true, not only was the dismissal of Mr. McAlllsterlmper ative and right, buthe would go farther and say that Mr. McAllister should never have been appointed. With these facts before them tbe McAllister family and the Four Hundred con cluded not to ask a retraction, but to let the matter rest With a dignity which can be ap preciated only by persons with a pedigree, the friends of the injured yonng man concluded that nothing better could be expected of a President who had only recently reveled in such a vulgar omce as that of "HherifT, and an Attorney General from the benighted State of Arkansas and a log bouse on Hominy Hill. Not Mneh In a Record. However, let him who desires office not be deterred by so trivial a matter as a record. A succeeding administration is wont to examine far more closely the records of the appoint ments of former administrations than it is of its own. I have in my mind's eye an official of some note. He had the custody of someot the most valuable (possessions of the Government, and which are of a character that conld easily be transported. Yet lOOvears have not passed since this estimable gentleman spent two terms in tbe penitentiary.- He has been in the em ploy of the Government for some years in his recent responsible position, and there is no charge that be has taken anything but his salary. If he had it might not fiect him seri ously, fori have in the other eye of my mind another employe of a department who got rich through the boldest kind of peculations, was Discovered, dismissed, had immunity from arrest-nntil there was a fuss made in the news papers about it, and has now been for many months at liberty on a light bail, without the case even being presented to a grand jury. A Fortune for Waiting. To turn from tbe romance of crime to the romance of property, two romances that are always closely allied, a sale was recently made In this city which shows strikingly the wonder ful progress of Washington, at least in mate rial affairs. A little more than 60 yeais ago a colored man named Cook bougbt for almost nothing a large block ot land in the square north of E street, between Fifteenth and Six teenth. In 1854 a son of Mr. Cook bougbt from tbe father a portion of the lot for S2&L That was a time when cows and pigs still roved at will throughout the length and breadth of the magnificent distances of the National Capital A few days ago this son sold to Mrs. Chandler, widow of the late Senator Chandler and mother ot Mrs. Senator Hale, about 10,000 square feet of this lot, on the corner of Sixteenth andK, for tbe snug sum of $85,000, and has yet re maining 51 feet front on K street as the result of bis Investment in 1851 Now, outside of the original investment money paid in taxes, and interest, how much of tbe fine fortune was due to the exertions of Mr. Cook? If Mr. Cook did not "make" the money who did? Was it not tbe people who came here and built up and made the town? If bo what moral right has Mr. Cook to the money, But I did not intend to drift into these economical questions. Yet I would like to have one of the old-fashioned economists answer them in the columns of The Dispatch. Washington's Boom. Houses are building hero at a tremendous rate, and a general query Is, who is going to in habit them? Hundreds of bouses are empty now, and hundreds of others are springing up as though' by magic On Q, street, between Seventeenth and Eighteenth, Upward -of' 80 fine dwellings, with solid strone fronts, are in process of rapid erection, and everywhere one goes one hears the ring of the trowel and the fanninjr ot tbe stonecutter's chisel. Manv of these residences are very tine and expensive, I a.,,1 nAA ima.lln ,a ,1.a ..tarf.. l.llfv ft? ,t,n V city. A solid stone mansion on the slope of the Sixteenth street bill. In a'commanding po sition, looks in tbe distance like some mediaeval castle. It is the new residence of ex-Senator Henderson, of Missouri, and shows, like-scores of other fine structures, that ono who has once spent a term of years in Washington, will not live elsewhere if he can avoid It E. W. L, SCIENCE IS CATTLE FEED, Butter Diode From Cottonseed Menl.Fcd Cows Hard to Olcll. Washington. May 4 TbeAfrricultural De partment bas been making an analysis of batter from cows fed on cottonseed meal, which pro duces unlooked for remits. Tbe analysis showed these remarkable- points: First, a low percentage of volatile acids: second, a phe nomenally high melting point; third, a strong persistence of the reducing agent The first point is of importance, as showing that mixing cottonseed with the feed of cows in tbe South will tend to raise tbe melting nnlnt or butter, thus rendering it more suitable forrconsump Hon In hot climates. Prof. Wiley says: "From an analytical point ot view tbe results are of great importance, tiuce they stiow that a butter derived from a cow fed on cottonseed meal might be condemned as adulterated when judged by the amount of volatile Isolds pres ent' Blnce cottonseed meal Is destin-M to be a cattle food of great Importance, especially In tbe Southern part of the United States, this is a fact of the greatest interest to analysis and to dealers." ', GOVERNOR HILL'S MARRIAGE It is Again Asserted Thai He Is Soon to bo n Benedict. Special Telegram to The Ulssaten. NnrwYOBK,May4. The story of Governor Hill's engagement to Miss Hotcbklss, daughter of the United States Consul at Ottawa, was re vived today. Intimate friends of the Gov ernor said that the marriage would take p'ace "within a reasonable time." and that it may be next month. U not then it would be postponed until tbe fall, out tbey rather thought It would, bo as soon as the Governor could get away from tbe Bepublican Legislature Tho session ends May 18. Miss Hotcbklss and her chaperone, with Gov ernor Hill's private secretary, W G. Bice, were at the Victoria on Tuesday, and saw the Governor lead the' 12,080 gallant New York militia up Fifth avenue. ' FfiOM THE METROPOLIS. Blaine Remembers R'eU. ISEW TOES BtTBSAU SrXCZUA New Yokk, May t Whltelaw Beld, United States Minister to France, sailed for Havre to day on the steamship La Bourgogne. He was accompanied by Mrs. Beid and his three chil dren. A large crowd of friends gathered at the wharf to bid Mr. Beld goodby and load him down with flowers. Just, before the gangway was drawn in a small boy with a big floral place stumbled across It and almost threw the flow ers Into Mrs. Beld's lap. Tbey were from Sec retary James G. Blaine. Last night the stall at the aVi&tmegaveMr. Beld ajarewell banquet at.Delmonlco's. Gone to Holland. Samuel B. Thayer, United States Minister to the Netherlands, lett for Amsterdam on the Dutch steamship Veendan this morning.. He was entertained at dinner by the Holland So ciety last evening. After the dinner Consul General Planten, Judge Van Vorst and other well-known Dutchmen told him how glad they were that President Harrison bad made him Ambassador. Big Chunks of Ice. The passengers of the British steamship Jer sey City, which came into port to-day. are telling wonderful stories about tbe big Iceberg they saw lasf Saturday, It was fully 400 feet high, they say. At its apex appeared huge steeple-like points of ice. The base of the iceberg at the water'a edge covered about an acre. It moved along toward the south majestically with the sun's rays sparkling on its sharp points. This iceberg was seen in the morning. Shortly after noon, farther west, an other huge iceberg appeared. It moved di rectly toward the Jersey City, and appeared to be of even greater size and height tban the Ice--berg seenin the morning. These are the first large icebergs seen this year. Minnie Palmer's Hard Lack. Minnie Palmer had a tussle with bad luck on the opening night of "My Brother's Sister," at the Fifth Avenue Theater. The actress imper sonating a leading character in the play ran a needle into her foot, and at the last moment was unable to undertake her role. Her substi tute could only be allowed a half-rehearsal and naturally was not easy In her assumption. An other leading member of the cast was brought to tbe door of death, and the substitute in bis ease had time for only two rehearsals. Finally, in the most important scene of the first act, while Miss Palmer was making cute little kicks in a brand new costume, a lace in her bodice broke. A companion on tbe stage Indicated to ther by gestures what had happened. Mis3 Palmer covered the broken lace and spreading bodice with a fan so skillfully that few in the audience noticed tbe mishap. Despite all these misfortunes, the performance was ordinarily successful. Archbishop Corrlgan's Anniversary. Archbishop Corrlgan celebrated to-day at Bt Patrick's Cathedral tbe sixteenth anniver sary of bis consecration as Bishop of the Diocese of Newark, N. J. The mass was cele brated at 8 a. M. by the Bev. Michael J. Lavell, assisted by the Bev. William J. Daly, the Bev. Michael J. Mulhern and tbe Bev. James J. Kelly as-master of ceremonies. The throne was ocoupied by Archbishop Corrlgan, in cope and mitre of cloth of gold, attended by the Bight Bev. Monslgnor Thomas Preston, the Bev. Dr. Charles K. McDonald and the Bev.' Thomas J. McCluskey. Tno Many Wives. John Mitzklrought his wife from Warsaw, Russia, to New York three years ago. He tired of her shortly after bis arrival and began to heather. He tried to induce her to sue him for divorce on the ground of abase. She lored him stlllanti wouldn't do it Then he sent her back to Warsaw, -promising to follow her within two months. Two weeks after her de parture he married Hannah Debernoki. News of the wedding got to Warsaw and brought tbe right Mrs. Mitzkl back in a hurry. She went straight to the hou3e and slapped Mrs. Mitzkl No. 2. This led to a free fight, which ended in the- arrest of both. The women scratched and slapped each other in court to day. Eventually two officers had to hold each of them down to prevent a rough and tumble fight. Mltzki was held for examination on a charge of bigamy. A Pessimist Suicides. John Parke Chapman, 68 years old, shot him self dead this morning. He was adrygoods salesman in good circumstances. He was a monomaniac on tbe subject of the dullness ot business. He has been very dejected recently, and while viewing theiiarade on Wednesday remarked: "This is all very fine, but it does not help trade a bit" The Dangers of the Seas, The steamship City of Columbus arrived from Havana to-day with the orews of two shipwrecked schooners, the William Douglas and the John F. Both am. The Douglas was caughtina cyclone in the Caribbean Sea on last March 23. The spars and canvas were torn away and the vessel was driven on the Cantelis Keys. TbeBothamwas wrecked on the Colo rado Keys at the same time. Another Stage Advertisement. Hattie Lawrence has brought suit through Howedt Hummel for a divorce from Edwin Lawrence, the actor, manager and elocutionist, to whom she was married in, tbe Presbyterian church at Fourteenth street and Second ave nue on December 14, 1SS0. She charges in timacy with the wife of Emerson, the ban joist and alleges that he has gone to Canada. An order was granted to-day for the service of the summons by publication. Protect Our Heroes From Handshakers. From the New York Tribune. Tbe latest victim of the handshaking craxe is Captain Murrell, the gallant captain of the Missouri. The right band to which the safety of so many lives may be said to be due is de scribed as being swollen to twice its original size, so that the captain's congratulations cost him more suffering than his heroism. Some cure must hi found for this s,ort of thing. It may become necessary to dress onr heroes up in barbed wire. PDrlNSILTlHIA PE0DDCTS. Cigarettes are sold to ladles in Erie con fectionery stores. It took ten men to get the hind shoes on a Perry county male. Air undertaker orNant!coke has patented a head rest for coffins. A man who registered at theMansion House, West Chester, as "S. Lowrey, Beading," car ried off two fine blankets belonging to the hotel when he left - y A eowdt who was put in the Tyrone lockup light before last broke up his bunk and, using one of the planks as a lever beneath the door, pried himself to freedom. A bascai, knocked a piece off the corner Etono of the Lutheran- Church at Barren Bun lately, and thus extracted from it a bottle of wine, which,-of course, was very old. Thb people living at tbe lower end of Spruce street Mabanoy. are nervous on account of the ground around them sinking. Several cave-ins have happened in that neighborhood. Wiljjax Geddks, of Erie, en route for a doctor 'for a sick neighbor, was thrown off a horse, but contiuued bis trip. Next day a physician found that two ol his ribs were broken. Matthew Bbadt, employed in an Erie liv ery stable, held out a piece of raw meat to a dog, when a horse, made frantlo by the sight or smell of tbe meat sprang upon him, trampling him under foot -He will be laid up for weeks, A laeqe snapping turtle, covered with- a crust of dried mud and far from any stream, waddled thioagh Sellersville a few days since In a nonchalant but not an aimless way, as it was beading due south, and seemed to hare a purpose in view. Ate ami" went Into tho house ot Mr. Jones in Muddycreek'township, Butler county, and demanded two cups .strong eoSee. bread, two nicely boiled eggs and a piece of rhubarb pie. When the coffee was given him he claimed It was weak and called for water. Before leaving he asked for 10 cents, which was given him. AToraagirl who lives in Cambria county, While op herway to school thtotberday, began tot sneeze violently. Sbe shortly became af flicted with a sharp pain In the. back of her neck.' Sbe returned home and a physician was called, who found on examination that some of the smaller bloodvessels bad been rnptared. Though' everything peetlMe was dose f of the sufferer, she continued to fail, and at last died. CDII0US C0HBESSATI0KS. i Italy lieMe her beggars. Savannah is said to be flooded witX counterfeit silver dollars. Oxmoor, Ala., has a curiosity in the shape ola petrified pise Stamp, weighing about 300 pounds. About the only rail fesee in Cleveland, curious to say, Is in the most aristocratio Sirtlonof the city, os'saclid avenue, near ase. A Milwaukee man has 'designed an ap paratus by which he claims that water may be successfully burned in a cook stove or ordinary heater. A cabbage stalk 20 feet high was on ex, hlbltlon at at the Florida Sub-Tropical Exposi tion. It is the tallest one ever' seen in the United States. ' ' Henry Kellogg, of Hew Haven,' has In vented a substance which be calls kelgum. and for which he claims that' it is a perfect substi tute for rubber. w The first thing George Shelaonofln dlana, did when he got a legacy of CM. COO, was to buy S18.000 worth of diamonds and a thous and dollar team. ' " A paper contains the followfng imaa advertisement: "Coffins and Caskets. I will sell 20 per cent Cheaper than any other Party. Ladles and Gentlemen Laid Out at any hoar. of theNightor Day." ' J- At a wedding in Saline county, Kan sas, last week, the groom charged the guestsW cents each for supper and sold them popcorn at 5 cents a package. Hannah Battersby, the fat woman, waa advertised as weighing SCO pounds. Sbe was weighed after her death the other day, and the exact figures were 313 pounds. One Dr. Thenius, of Vienna, has 'in vented a process by which he declares that good heavy Sole leather can be made from the wood ot old red beech trees. He has applied for patents. , Miss IT. Troyer, a teacher in the San Francisco schools, succeeded in retalnlne her position and keeping the fact of her marriage a secret for five years, when it was revealed by a divorce suit A piece of coal Weighing 5 tons has been cat. at Abercara colliery, Cornwall. En- land, to be sent to the Paris Exhibition. The lock measures 7 feet S inches long, 5 feet 6 inches wide and 3 feet 9 inches deep. The making of veneered diamonds is a new Parisian industry. The body of the gem is cut from quartz and then by galvanic action coated with a solution made from diamond chips and stones too small for cutting. Two citizens of Lowndes county, Ga., have deer farms. The animals are as gentle and tame as cattle. The venison Is raised for market It is said that it costs no more to raise venison than turkey, and that it pays hand somely. Easter Sunday a lady living in. River side, Ga., had two hens confined inpeoop. During the day, between them, they laid three eggs. The lady does not know which of the hens to snspeot of this overproduction and is anxiously awaiting further developments. ' Oliver Shepherd, a lad of 16, living near Champion, Ini. had an exciting experi ence with a black snake the other day. He was passing along the road near bis home when the reptile appeared from some bushes and attacked him. The boy started to run, and was closely pursued for nearly a mils by the snake. A small boy in Springfield lost his leg by tbe failing of a signpost belonging to a rail road, and sued the company for damages. The Company, ot course, resisted, perhaps thinking that the loss of their post gave them the right to take a stand, but the contested value of tbe lost member was decided at a second trial to amount to over $23,000, thus putting the boy's leg on a better footing. A Washington woman, prosecutor in an assault and battery case.wno called the Court's attention to tbe marks on her face, the result, she said, of the beating sbe bad received, al most fainted when the Jndge ordered an offi cer to closely examine the injuries. Be rubbed a handkerchief over her face, when the marks insianuTaisappearea.nauinDeen maae wis :t paint, xne case was tnen aidmissea. William Collins, who died at his hon three m.s from Toccoa, Ga., with dropsy, t other day, wasrather a noted man in some spects. He is said to have owned more yol of oxen and hauled more loads of wood to tor than any other man in tbe county. He) ownna iu yoke or oxen, and the loads of w V that he bas hauled are innumerable, safe to say that be has averaged ajpr since Toccoa has been in erlatnncA. ' Mrs. George Copeland, of Wi. v ..ikt Ga., was burned to death a short time since. She was cooking supper when her clothing ' caught fire. She rushed to a tub of water in Vi the yard and tried to put out the fire, but fell,' -overcome with the heat After her'clothes . ' were all burned off of her sbe dragged herself into the house and lay on the bed until ber bus. band came home, at which time the soles ot her shoes were still afire. She died after 21 '' hours of torture. Sportsmen in India are attacking a set ." ot rules lately promulgated by the Chief Com missioner of the central provinces, tbe effectoi which is to put a practically prohibitive tax on big game shooting in that part of the Penin sula. The central provinces contain many thousand square miles of forest land, which ' have been the happy hunting ground of the Anzlo-Indians. The result Is that tizers. pan- . thers and other beasts have been getting scarce, and the local officials have determined to "preserve" tbe game for their own amuse ment "Things have come to -such, a pass now adays," remarked a saloon keeper, "that to be a successful bartender one must 'be something ol aphjsician. An old man will come in hers in the morning with bis face looking like a cor rugated door mat and his eyes showing the symptoms of incipient hydrophobia. He will stare at you a moment, then hang himself over the railing, tell you that something is out of gear in bis stomach and he must have some thing to fix it up. It we give him something to tone him up we get his trade thereafter. Then there comes in the man that is gulping and shivering, and don't know whether be has tbe back, ague or the jim-jams. A little bi carbonate of soda does him up in good shape. Then there is the fellow who feels as if he had a chunk ot ice in bis stomach, a crick in bis side or an ache in his tootb. All come to the barkeeper for advice and comfort" WHAT THE WILD WITS ASE SAYING, Schoolmistress. "Edward, give me the definition of excavate.'1. Edward "Excavate, to hollow out." Schoolmistress "Give me a sen tence containing the word." Edward-"! hit Bill and he excavated." Harper'' Bazar. At the Sunday School. "And now, chil dren," said the Superintendent benlgnantly, ' 'are there any questlons7oa wonld like to ask be fore we leave this lesson?" "How long did It take you to get all the pigs in the pen. the first time you tried?" Inquired the sweet little girl on the front seat CMcago Tribvm. Times Have Changed. Long ago, there , was a time when Sir Walter Balelgh laid his cloak over a puddle, so that tbe royal Elisabeth might go on her way dryihod. in similar clrcumstancss. Queen Victoria would be lucky if she could elicit from the gilded youth of the present day the languid cry of "Skip tho gutter, old lady V Harvard Lampoon. ' At the Irish Dealer's. "Please send up to my house to-morrow a couple of nice bats. "Yes. sir." "And, by the way.bosurs they are bass. I'm golngofffor a day, and-er rthe last time t went I' told ray wife It was for trout fishing-, snd you sent up a fresh msck-reL These little errors of yours are causing strained relations In my fun-Uj."-poeh. Great on Economy. Yonng wife, affec tionately We can live economically, I know. To - begin, von can stop smokln jr.reslzn from the club, give no more wine sappers, and never, never treat any more. Young husband, folntly Certainly, to be sure. In ait of course. And what will you do, dearr Young wife, triumphantly-I? Oh, I'll mead, all ay gloves myself.-i'Ao(pAta Jngvirtr. . A Soft Job. Dr. Squi is Ton look like kl man that Is suffering- from overwork. What havej you been dolnz? "I was In Washington two months trying to get . a Goverment office." "Your trouble U overwork. That Is all that alls f you. Did you get what you wanted"" - "Yes." "- Mk "Xon don't nesd any medicine. I eoulda'tjjgr recommend anything better for an overworked', man than a Government oMce.-CAfcooTrttimj.-ij A correspondent sends us the iollowing' which be says is vouched for by a schoolmaster: At vlllse nehool not many miles ftorn Canter-' burr, a precocious boy being asked to parsers sentence, "Mary, niUk the cow, " went on'accur atelTtlllbe came to the last word, wbea.besald: "Cowls pronoun, feminine gendsr.lthlrd per son stsgrdar, and stands for Mary. V -Stand for , Msryf" asked the master In atoalsBstrt.yes. I Ur. reseoaded the urohla with a aria, 'tor if I eerw didn't stand for Mary, hew eo14 Mary Bill JM eowi'- xni aianwrsvB " V-- ,. -'j-iigkiv -- -. -1-' '-. ' '-" .JmSm .ygiB&s & ''-v: 'kvfe. aa.' . '-,, immmmi