TBE FITTSBtJKGk DISBACH; SUNDAY,1 MARCS '31, 1889.' r . I I I W Mi$$tfit ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8. 1SJ6. Vol. . So H. Entered at Pittsburg Postoffice, o ember 14, 18S7, as second-class matter. Business Office 97 and 09 Fifth Avenue. News Booms and Publishing House 75, 77 and 79 Diamond Street. Average circulation of the dally edition of Tub Dispatch for six months ending March 1.1SS9, , 27,988 Coitics per issue. Average circulation of tbe Similar edition of Tbe Dispatch for February, 1SS9, 45,144 CAplis per issue. TERMS OF THE DISPATCH. rOSTACE FBEE IV TltE UNITED STATES. IUILT DisrATcn. One Year ? 8 00 DAILY Dispatch, Per Quarter.. 2 00 DAILY DisrATCH, One Month.., ,. D Daily DisrATcn, Including Bandar, one year 10 00 Dailt Dispatch, Including Sunday, per quarter i 5 50 DAtLT DistATcn. Including Sunday, one month 80 Bundat Diepatcii, oneyear 2 B0 WfcSKLY TJlsrATCn, one year....... 1 2$ The Dailt Dispatch Is delivered by carriers at IS cents per week, orlncludlngthebundayedltlon. at CO cents per week Voluntary contributors should keep copies of articles. If com vernation u desired the price expected must be named. The courtesy of re turning rejected manuscripts wilt be extended when stamps for that purpose are enclosed, but the Editor of THE Dispatch will under no circumstances be responsible for the care of un solicited manuscripts. PITTSBURG, SUNDAY, MAR. 31, 18S9. HE. CARNEGIE'S SPEECH LAST NIGHT. The most interesting, but for certain re cent reasons the least explicable, part of Mr. Andrew Carnegie's speech at Brad dock, last evening, was devoted to a ven tilation of tbe cross and oppressive discrim inations practiced upon Pittsburg by the Pennsylvania Railroad and its Western con nections. That traffic in this naturally prosperous region has been too frequently subjected to "what it would bear," was not wholly unsuspected; but it was left for Mr. Carnegie to express in mathematical terms the disadvantages to which our local ship pers are subjected. Here are a few state ments from Mr. Carnegie's address: "Every carload of coke yon see coming from ConneUsville to Pittsburg furnaces is charged just double tho freight rate that Is charged npon cars going over the same ground to Chicago." "Tbe Pennsylvania Railroad's great monopoly strikes against the State whose creature it is." The Pennsjlvania Railroad piled up $19,000, 000 of Surplus: and last year Si, 000.000 of surplus after paying its dividends; all extracted un justly from this State." -The ore to Chicago furnaces is carried by Western railroads from Lake Superior to Chi cago at half the rate per ton for like distances charged to Pittsburg by the Pennsylvania lines." "We are in the hands of a grasping monopo ly, and it seems as if nothing we can do will get us justice." Here is a compact formulation of matter for thought for all who have a penny's worth of interest in or around Pittsburg. The Dispatch need not elaborate on Mr. Carnegie's presentation of the case, but it cannot overlook the suggestion of an in quiry as to why, in the presence of this dis crimination, which is now so loudly be wailed, the South Penn project was a few months ago deliberately strangled? What is most strange is that persons who officiated as obliging undertakers for the burial of that line in the interests of the Pennsylvania Central were prominent Pittsburgers, and that Mr. Carnegie himself was mentioned as chief among them. To what purpose do we object to the impositions of exorbitant freight charges, if thq first practical relief measure is killed in tbe house of those who should be its friends? "What is the good of pub licly, from the rostrum, exciting popnlar sentiment against the ''creature of the State," which "strikes against the interests of the State," if privately the offending cor poration is helped to override even express Constitutional inhibitions? There is no one whose voice would count for more than that of Andrew Carnegie in helping Pittsburg to adequate railroad facilities and to as low a tariff as is given to other competing cities. He has the means, the energy and the business ability to lead the whole community in this and other ' vital matters. But the slightest suspicion of insincerity falls as a swift blight upon public trust. The eye must be single; and if the voice is the voice of Jacob, the hand must not be that of Esau. Everyone will hail with acclamation Mr. Carnegie's state ment that he means to "swim" with Pitts burg; but to the end of a better understand ing all around, he should lose no time in explaining away, if possible, the common understanding that he was one of the prime agents in destroying the South Penn enterprise, and that he acted in that matter on behalf of the corporation which he now criticises. ALLEGHENY'S INTERESTING CASE. If Allegheny still modestly insists on re maining a third-class city, it has at least managed to get up a first-class stif over ways that are alleged to be dark and tricks that may or may not be vain in its local politics. For a burg which has lone had a pious habit of shrugging its shoulders and lifting its eyebrows deprecatingly when the quality of Pittsburg statesmanship has been men tioned, it seems to be doing pretty well on is own hook these days, to make such a sen sation over so trifling a matter as the choice of a Chairman for one of its branches ot Councils-. Of course 'be legal proceedings begun over the allege"! bribery alone can show what is in the charge3;-&s4,as these are in full blast, the public canflait develop ments and withhold judgment until the evi dence is in. "-j But much as Pittsburg's city government has at times been derided by Alleghenians it is safe to say that anything like $500 for a vote for Chairman of Councils would on this side of the river have surpassed "the dreams of avarice or the , potentiality of riches." Nobody would think of offering it, and we trust nobody would take it, or a smaller sum. Seriously, it is to be hoped that some explanation other than that in volved in the informations before the Mayor may be forthcoming in this singular busi ness. It is not pleasant to think such things of Allegheny. THE UNION PACIFIC'S EARNINGS. It is noticeable that the report of the Union Pacific Railroad, last week, showed that it bad earned enough last year to pay its fixed charges, including a deficit of 800,000 on leased lines, the interest on its debt to the Government, and to have a sur plus of 5400,000 besides. The directors and large stockholders resolved that it was "not expedient" to pay a dividend; which, con sidering the legal restrictions on the pay ment of dividends while the Government interest is in arrears, we can commend as an eminently wise resolution. This good showing of the business of that corporation for the last fiscal year is credit able to its management under the presi dency of Mr. Adams. For the improve ment in the affairs of the company which has been brought about by intelligence and honesty at Its head, Mr. Adams deserves full credit. Rut there are one or two points brought out by this prosperity which can hardly escape public attention. The first is the light that it throws upon former management. Tbe Union Pacific has to compete for business now. Un der its old management, a decade or more ago, it had a monopoly of its business. If with the keen Competition which it must meet now it can earn such net profits, what other conclusion is there than that its former lack of prosperity was due to the dishonesty and profligacy of the manage ment which violated the law and encum bered it with debt. This showing adds the finishing touch to the evidence that, "with r honest administration and honest capitali zation, it could have been able to pay off its debt to the Government. Another point is the commentary "fur nished by these profits on Mr. Adams' own assertion that without pooling the railways must go to ruin. There has been no pool of the transcontinental roads unless they have been secretly violating the law. Yet in the past year the Union Pacific has earned a good percentage on capital, BO per cent in excess of the honest cost of tbe road. It remains to be seen what the directors will do with the surplus. They are re quired to pay $1,000,000 to the Government under the Thurman act; bat the interest on their debt is $1,200,000. If they should pay the whole interest this year it would go further toward convincing,the people that they are honestly desirous of paying all their public indebtedness than several vol umes Of fine speeches.. THE SAM0AN DISASTER. Instead of fighting each other, the vessels of the United States and Germany have jointly met r, ith a foe more powerful than their combined strength, and which in flicted upon both an equally crushing dis aster. It is instructive that, within a week after the circulation of rumors that the German vessel there had sunk the American, a hur ricane attacked both squadrons, drove all the vessels ashore, utterly destroying two of each squadron, and leaving a hope of saving one American and one German vessel. The greater loss of men in the German force gives room for the inference that better dis cipline and seamanship were shown on the American ships. In the presence of such a disaster as this, inflicted by the irresistible forces of nature, the quarrels and threats of human powers sink into insignificance. The speculations as to the respective naval strength of the two powers at Samoa are brought to nothing by a power which destroys the naval strength of both with a single blow. It is probable that the international antagonisms which had been prdduced between the two forces at Samoa would be lost sight of, and the two nationalities would be drawn closer together by their common disaster. Cer tainly it is to be hoped that in the presence oi such a terrible disaster the pettv interna tional jealousies would be forgotten, and only the community of suffering humanity i remembered. Perhaps both Germany and the United States may ask themselves now whether there was anything at Samoa worth fighting over at the cost of a hundred and fifty lives and six vessels. j GOOD TRADE POLICY. The plan which the wholesale grocery In terest has formed for a grocers' convention, to bring together the retail merchants of the surrounding district, as outlined in our lo cal columns, is an evidence that our whole sale interests are waking up to the impor tance of effort to extend their trade. Pittsburg has always lagged a little be hind the times in this respect. If buyers from the surrounding country would come here! to see what they could get, our whole sale merchants would sell them goods; and many of our houses of course would keep ac tive drummers on the road. Bat the value of united effort to secure the trade of the sur rounding towns has not been appreciated. Asa consequence Pittsburg, which should by its position command the principal share of the trade of Western Pennsylvania, Onio and West Virginia, finds its trade taken away by Philadelphia and Balti more on the one hand, and Cleveland and Cincinnati on the other. ' The present movement shows that our merchants are" arousing themselves and in tend to make the most of their facilities and situation. They will bring the retail mer chants here and show them what can be done for them. They will join together to make every possible buyer an actual buyer; and local jealousies will be sunk, with the perception of the fact that the in crease of Pittsburg's trade is for the benefit of all. That is the way to go to work. A little of that policy will produce a wonderful ex pansion of our trade; and every dollar spent in that way will come back multiplied twenty, forty or even a hundred fold. K0X SO RELIABLE NOW. We observe that the Hew York TForM, in the course of an article on the appoint ment of editors of Republican organs to high diplomatic place, asserts that "Mr. Reid, Mr. Halstead and Mr. New can not be one whit more 'reliable' in defending or ignoring everything that is wrong in their own party, nor in denying that there is any thing good in the Democratic party, than they were before their appointment." It is plain that this was written before the Senators put themselves on record against criticism of their acts including the Demo cratic Senators, which the World is very apt to indorse. The Republican and Demo cratic Senators have practically declared that Mr. Halstead is not "reliable" enough, and the effect is likely to be that Mr. Hal stead will be less "reliable" than ever. With the 'possibility of official dignity be fore tis eyes that incisive editor has been rather diplomatic of late; but it is likely that herfafter he will speak right out in meeting. ATM?SPHERE AD LIBITUM. 'the perennial strugele between the people who like their air-fresh and those who preler to take it warmed over, is reported to have broken out withv renewed force in the ele vated railway Jars In Kew York. The struggle has beei going on n the older rail road trains sincehat mode of travel was in vented; but it stems to have assumed es pecial virulencf 'n the elevated trains; and between the peple who declare that they must have tb8 windows closed and those who swear tht they will have them open, the trainmen are said to be at their wit's end, . It seema'singulftr that the railway men never -perceived the solution of thislrrcpres- slble conflict; tat there is a solution and a Very simple one. The numbers of the fresh and warmed-over air parties are about equal. Why should not the railroads givs each party a car7 Then those who prefer to breathe a second-hand atmosphere, enriched with the carbofllo Acid that is given it by having been used several times by other pedple, can go info the car set aBide for that purpose, and enjoy all the flavor and variety of that class of air. Those ,wh6se. taste leads them to prefer their air plaid, even at the risk of sore throats or pneumonia, can go into the fresh air vehicle; and all the scrained relations arising from the question whether a window shall be up or down will be avoided. We hope tojsee the railroads adopt this suggestion by classifying their cars and' labeling them either with the popular terms "fresh air car" and "warmed'Over air car," or mora scientifically, "oxygen car" and "carbonic odd gas car," This would enable every man to select his atmosphere for him self. ii, i i Mb. Andbew Lang recently declared in a lecture that ''popular education has been carried to such a deplorable extent that almost the majority of men can read, which valuable gift they waste on news papers." Mr. Eider Haggard was present at the time that remarkable statement wai made, but omitted to bear testimony to the fact of which he has reason to be informed, that the public sometimes reads matter more prothy even than newspapers. It was not necessary, however; for Mn Lang knows and perhaps that is what is the matter with him that while a small portion of tbe peo ple reads his rather Witty short efforts, they decline to read his vapid and improbable Hotels. With a collision in New York harbor, another in the English channel nd tbe dis aster to the squadrons at Samara, all re ported yesterday, the dootrine of epidemics in disasters seems to receive more than an average verification. New Yoek can hardly reconcile herself to the idea that an Illinois man, even if he be Robert Lincoln, should be selected to eat the English dinners and make speeches to the nobility and gentry. The Illinois Senators do not like it because the President picked- out Robert Lincoln without their help; and the whole Senate is in revolt against Murat Halstead. Some people still think that a party is strengthened by the distribution of the spoils. As the Senate continues obdurate on the subject of Halstead, the question of supply ing the vacancv may suggest to tbe admin istration that Alan Arthur and the Garfield boys are still unprovided for. The fact that another burlesque actress has got $50,000 out of a breach of promise case against one of England's nobility, may furnish another explanation of the taste of the peers for New York heiressses. The amusement of flirting with pretty actresses is becoming so expensve that it requires the reinforcement of American fortunes to keep it up. Ix is actually stated that a man in New York City has been sent to the- penitentiary for a year for selling his vote. He must have sold his vote to the wrong party. Ex-Senatob Chace appears as the au thor of an article in the North American Review, proving that the Congressional salaries are insufficient. This might be ex pected to diminish the rush of applicants to the Rhode Island General Assembly, after Senator Chace's seat; but ii hasfcot yet pro duced that effect. ' John Bbight's death leaves a vacancy in Parliament from Birmingham, and the election to fill it bids fair to drive another nail into the Tory coffin. The Senate definitely announces that no man who has the temerity to criticise the members of that lolty body for shutting off investigation into purchased seats need ex pect to be confirmed for anything. The in ability of the statesmen to stand criticism is rather more severe on themselves than on their critics. Between briberv charges and the License Court, Allegheny Councilmen are beginning to think that republics are ungrateful. Since these foreign missions continue to cause tronble, not only between this Gov ernment and foreign governments, but be tween the executive and legislative depart ments, why not return to our original propo sition, and get along without the highly salaried causes of discontent? Teials for illegal voting in West Vir ginia seem to be about as harmless to the prisoners as trials for bribery in New York. Some other States have been disposed to raise a question over the crediting of ap pointments to them when the recipient lives elsewhejp, but Pennsylvania will not do so over Mr. Carnegie's nomination. Mr. Car negie lives in New York, bat belongs to Pennsylvania. PROMINENT PEOPLE PARAGRAPHED, The King ot Greece -buys "his clothes In London. The Queen buys hers in Paris. The German Crown Prince, 6 years old, has to get up at 6 every morning and begin his studies at 7. Mrs. Sargent, daughter of Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes, Is recovering from a serious heart ailment. The Hon. Neal Dow thinks there is no doubt that Theodore R. limby, instead of John Ericsson, should be honored as the inventor of tbe revolving turret for ships of war. The housekeeping duties pertaining to the White House have been about evenly divided among Mrs. Harrison, Mrs. McKee and Mrs. Russell Harrison. Mrs. Harrison superintends the work of the laundresses, chambermaids and cooks, Mrs. McKee has charge of tbe but ler and waiters and superintends the china and glass closet, while Mrs. Russell Harrison sees to it that the supplies of food and wine are kept up in proper style. In this way the three ladies make an easy task of what was some times a heavy burden to Mrs. Cleveland. IK the Academy ot Sciences, at Paris, re marks were recently made on M. Berthelot's book on tbe chemistry ot the ancients and the Middle Ages. The work is a sennet to Ber thelot's "Origines de l'Alchemle,"and "Collec tions des Anciens Alcbcinlstes Grecs." Re cently a book entitled tbe "History of the Al chemistlcal Philosophers" was published in England. This latter book was Infused with Mr. Hargraves Jennings' and our own theo sophlsts' notion that the "magnum opus" of the transmutation of the baser metals into gold had really been accomplished. It is, per haps, needless to say that M. Berthelot's inves tigations give no countenance to this notion. Metals, like Boand minds, stay what they were originally. Princely Bunko Shops. From the Chicago News.2 Tbe present gambling season at Monte Carlo is reported to be the most prosperous ever known, the winnings ot tbe place having amounted to $750,000 in February alone. Inci dentally It may be mentioned that 21 suicides occurred there during January and February. Still, the princely bunko shop is prospering; THE TOPICAL TALKEB. Tbe Prattle of the Babes Pig In tbe Clover A Bom Humorist and Other Cariosities. It takes a child to answer off-hand questions which would puzzle a mature brain. A toveable mite of a girl a few days Since Was walking home with er father, and there happened to ba a splendid full moon in the sky. Tbe babe was enchanted with the moon, as babes have often been before, and her father asked her If She'd like to have It Of course She would, "What would you do with It, Helen, if I were to get it for your' asked he. "Play marbles with It," she promptly replied. . Hebe is another bit of childish wisdom, which somebody has been kind enough to Send me from an Ohio village: Last summer a very small boy was present at a balloon ascension. As tbe gigantic bird-like machine sailed up into the clduds with its human freight the small spectator pulled his mother's dress excitedly and exclaimed! "What will the good God say When he Sees that a coming?" . . Nothing like the collection of gaudy and Inartistic theatrical paper that nils the shop windows and covers the boardings at present has been seen here before for some time. It Is Simply sheer waste of money, half ot which in vested in newspaper advertising would bring returns worth thinking of. But when will the theatrical geniuses who angle tor the popular favor understand thlsT ". The terrible news from Samoa dates from Samoa about tne time that the canard, describ ing a battle between the German and American war vessels, had been thoroughlyjthreshed out and proven false. The battle was alleged to hate occurred on or about" March 2, and the news reached America on March 8. V The pigs in the clover, or the puzzle called by that name, has come, PlttsburgerB have Seen it and confess themselves conquered. It is a mighty ingenious pnzzle, notwithstanding its lingular simplicity, and, of coarse, the won der is that somebody hasn't planned the putsle before. Some hundreds were sold yesterday, I am told, and the sale has only just begun. It Is better to have invented "the pigs in the clover" than to have found 20 new planets in the heavens better, that Is, in the cash returns to the inventor. Among those Who bought the puzzle during the minute of my observation yesterday were three men above throe-score years and they all, with one exception, said something about pleasing the grandchildren. The solitary ex ception confessed that he intended to stay at borne from church to-day and get his pigs out ot the clover and Into the pen. How overwhelming IS the confidence of the young man of to-day in his own powers. A young gentleman who dwells in Pennsyl vania wrote the other day to an editor ot this city, in which be said that he had for a lone time observed that Bill Nye's jokes were not as good as be, tbe writer, was capable of grind ing ont at will, and he wanted to know if he might be permitted to sample a column ot humor. The editor who received this epistle bade the unassuming yonng gentleman send his cargo of concentrated laughter along. Back came a dozen sheets of paper covered on both sides with writing in an almost illegible hand. The first joke on the first page was this: "When does a honsewife get preserves out of a door?" Answer: "When it's a-jarl" The editor, straneo to say, read on further, and discovered a number ot venerable jokes, some in the old clothes, a few in the new tteht- fltting tailor-made costumes which clearly re-J vciiicu ineir original iorm. nut two or tnree "jokes" were absolutely original, and in speak ing of them the editor said: "There was no joke about them." The reply my amiable friend the editor in dited to the bashful humorist was as follows: Deab SIR You have mistaken your calling In life. You should turn your attention to grave matters. How would undertaking strike you? Your valuable MS3. is herewith returned with thanks. - Yours, etc. But the bounding ambition of that young man will survive, no doubt Hepbubn Johns, TAFFI FOR LINCOLN. lie la Appreciated la England for His Per sonal Merles and for His Fnther's Sake. London, March 30 Colonel Gouraud, of the British army, who served on General Mc Clellan's staff in tbe Army of the Potomac, has sent the following dispatch to Mr. Lincoln: Hon. Robert Lincoln, Chicago: In expressing as an old friend and comrade my most hearty and sincere congratulations upon the merited honor yon have received from the Presi dent and the country, I may confidently add the assurance that Americans residing In ngland will welcome you with quite exceptional unan imity and cordiality, no less on account of your personal merits than as the son of the man whose name and memory aro the pride and glory of us all. ' AN ILL-STARRED-FAMILT. A Number of Misfortunes Fall Upon It Simultaneously. NEWBtTEO, N. Y., March 80. William Hil ton, an aged builder of this city, is confined to his home in a partiallyparalyzed condition, one side of his body being wholly useless. He sprained a cord while lifting a beam in his shop Wednesday. The same day he received word that his son-in-law, Rev. S. G. Shaw, of Wal ton. Delaware county, while walking a bridge at Selma, Ala., had fallen, breaking a leg. To-day a letter was received from another son-in-law, Engeno Peppers, of Kansas City, lnformlnc tbe family that Saturday night last their house had been burned to the ground, not even a hairpin being saved. Senators Sbonld Smoko Good Cigars. Washington, March 30. In the Senate this afternoon Mr. Manderson's resolution to im prove the ventilation of the chamber was re ferred to the Committee on Contingent Ex penses, after several Senators had expressed their opinion that the smoke of cigars had much to do with the causes of complaint They lUast Have Been Married Men. .From the Detroit Free Press.! Tbe coroner's jury in the case of a Michigan man, who, after being four times married and three times divorced, died the other day, brought in a verdict of death from natural causes. DEATHS OP A DAL Mary J, McCall, Miss Mary J. McCall, eldest daughter of R. 8. P. McCall, the county's Bpeoial LIcenseAgcnt, died at 8 o'clock last evening at the residence of her sister. Mrs. L. E. Stofiel, on Main street, (seventeenth ward. Only a little more than two weeks ago Miss McCall came down to the city from her home in Tarentum to visit her sister. It was during this visit that she became ill. Pre vious sickness had left her constitution weak, and a rneumatlc fever developed Into dangerous ten den cies within a week after her arrival here. She was unable to rally from the nervous prostration which followed. Miss McCall was lu her 23th year. Her suffer ings were Intense, but the beautiful faith, the ecstacv of her spiritual Joy and the sweet testimo nies of Christian hope that marked her transition lrom earth to heaven veiled all pain with the drapery or dying grace. The lire Itself bad been worn weary with years or 111-bcalth, But the spiritual life had steadily grown stronger with thH same wearisome vearn. until at ,. fit triumphantly cnjnlfcd sufferings and Alary emerged upon the painless shores or Immortality. West Penn Railroad, .Monday afternoon, and the services will be held at tbe M. E, Church or that place at 4 o'clock. John CMahon. Special Telegram to The Dispatch. CoxNELLSvrLLti, March 30. John C. Mahon died at his residence; in this place, to-day at 10:45 A. M. or consumption, after a hrlel illness. The deceased was clerk to bberiff Miller, of Fayetto county, ana served In the same capacity under ex Sherurs Dean and Sterling. He was "one of the most popular officials or the county, being univer sally IlLcd by men or both parties. He was a Democrat, but pullttcs never stood lu the war or uy duty he perrorined. At the time or his death e was in his 40th year. He ltaves a widow, but no children. Zttctsarlab Chaffee. Pbovtpescs, B. I March Sa.-Zcharlah Chaf fee, whose name has been widely known as trus tee of what was once the most splendid property In this State, the Sprague estate, died this morn ing. Ho was 74 years old. He was born in thts city, and In his younger days was In the grain and produce business, being at one time a mem ber of a Pittsburg firm. Dnnlcl Hurler. CBICAQO, March SO. The oldest man on record is dead. He was Daniel llnrkc, and according to the certificate or aeatb returned to the registrar of vital statistics this morning, he was 114 years of age. The old man, who has boen a resident of Illinois S5 years, died at the institution or the Little bisters of the Poor or pneumonia, having been ill for sis weeks. AN INTERNATIONAL CONGRESS Objects ttnd Alms of the Cowing- Conference between tbe United States and tbe Gov ernment of Mexico and Central nnd South American States. WashtnotoIn, March 30. To-day tho Presi dent made the following nominations: To be delegates to the conference between the United States of -America and the Republics of Mexico, Central and South America, Hayti, San Domingo and the Empire of Brazil to be held in Washington, in l!i86: JohnB. Hender son, Of Missouri; Cornelius N. Bliss, of New York; William Pinckney Whyte, of Marjrlahd: ClCttent Studebaker, of Indiana; T. Jefferson Coolldge, ot Massachusetts; William Henry Tf escott of South Carolina; Andrew Carnegie, of Pennsylvania; John R, G. Pitkin, of Louisiana! Morris M. Estee, of California; J. H. HanSon, of Georgia, The nominations were made in accordance with the act of Congress Of May 21, 1B&8, which authorizes the' President to inVlte the several Governments Of the Re publics and the Brazilian Empire tb join the United States in a conference to be held at Washington, at such, time as he may deem proper, for the purpose of discussing and recommending for adoption to their respective Governments Some plan of arbitration for the Settlement of disagreements and disputes that may hereafter arise between them, and for consideration of questions relating to the im provenient of business intercourse and means of direct communication uotweett said Coun tries, and to encourage such reciprocal com mercial reis tiofis as win ua Beneficial to an and secure more extensive markets for the prod ucts of. each of said countries. Objects of the Cohfet-ence. In forwarding to the above-named Govern ments tbe invitation to tbe conference, tbe President IS required to set forth that the con ference Is called to consider the following: first Measures that shall tend to preserve the peace and promote the prosperity of the several American States. ' Second Measures toward tbe formation or an American Customs Union, under which the trade of the American nations with each other shall, So far as possible and profitable, be promoted. Third The establishment or regular and fre quent communication between the ports of the several American States and the ports or each other. Fourth The establishment or a unirorm system or customs regulations in each or the lndepend en t American States as to give the mode or In- por tatlon and exportation of merchandise and port dues and charges a unirorm method or determin ing tbe classification and valuation or such mer chandise to the ports of each country and a uni form system or Invoices, aud the subject of the sanitation of ships and quarantlns. Fltth-The adoption of a- -uniform system of weights and measures, and laws to protect the patent rights, copyrights and trade marks otcltl "? 2L.el,he. country in the other, and for the extradition or criminals. Sixth The adoption or a common sliver coin, to be issued by each Government, the same to be legal tender la all commercial transactions be tween the citizens or all or the American States. Seventh-An agreement upon and recommenda tlon JE adoption to their respective Oovernments ofa definite plan or arbitration or all questions, disputes and differences that may now orherearter exist between them, to the end that all difficulties and disputes between such nations nuy be peace ably settled and wars prevented. ltUhth-To consider such other subjects relating to the welfare or the several states represented as may be presented by any of said States which are Invited to participate In said conlerence. The delegates on the part of the United States are to serve without compensation other than their actual necessary expenses. Other Requirements. The several other States participating in the conference are to be represented by as many delegates as each may elect; provided, that in the disposition of questions to come before the conference, no State shall be entitled to more than one vote. The Secretary of State is re quired to pay for tbe daily publication in the English, Spanish and Portuguese languages of so much of the proceedings of the conference as that body shall determine, and upon lis con clusion transmit a report of the same to Con gress. THE I0DKG MAN AS CRITIC. Robert Bnchanaa on the Tendencies of the Youth in Our Times. "Frankly," says Robert Buchanan, in the Universal Review, "I do not know what the modern young man is coming tol The young man of my own early experience was feather headed, but earnest; impulsive and unlnstruct ed, but sympathetic and occasionally studious; though his faults were many, lack of convic tion was certalnlynotone of them. He dreamed wildly of fame, of fair women, of beautiful books; and when he read the masters, he de spaired. A great thought, even a fine phrase, stirred him like a trumpet. In Bohemia he had heard the bird-like, cry of Mimi; in the forest of Ardsn he had roamed with Rosalind. For him, in the lightheartedness of his youth, the world was an enchanted dwelling-place. The gods remained. witbGod. .above them. The heaven of his literary infancy lay around him. Ont in the darkened streets he met thesunny smile of Dickens, and down among the English lanes he listened to the nightingales ot Keats and Tennyson. But now, with the passing of one brief gen eration, the world has changed, the youth who was a poet and a dreamer has departed, and the modern young man has arisen to take his place. A saturnine young man, a young man who has never dreamed; a dream or been a child, a young man, whose days have been shadowed by the upastree of modern pessi mism, and who Is born to the heritage of flash cynicism and cheap science.of literature whlcb is less literature than criticism run to seed. Though varied in the species, he is invariable in the type, which includes the whole range of modern character, from the young man of cul ture expressed in the. elegant humanltlesof Mr. Henrv James and Mr. Marion Crawford, down to the bank holiday young man of no cnlture. The modern young man, whether with or without education, has no religion and no enthusiasm. Nourished InjJie new creed of Realisji and Art pour Art he is ready to take Love "as a subject" and. call it a cruel enigma. Even the insufferable Gautier was superior to all this; he was not too clever to live, not over-full of insight to write. But the modern young man is the very paradox of J nescience and nescience, of Instruction and ncaoacity. He writes books, which am dead books from the birth: he f ormulates criticisms, which are laborious self-dissections, indecent exposures of the infinitely trivial; he paints, he composes, he toils and moils, and all to no avail. For the faith which is life, and the life which is reverence and enthusiasm, have been denied to him. The sun has gone out above him, and the earth is arid dust beneath him. He has scarcely beard of Bohemia, he is utterly in credulous of Arden, and he is aware with all his eyes, not of Mimi or of Rosalind, but of Sidonie Rlsler and Mdmo. Bovary. He has looked down Vesuvius, out of bis very cradle. In Boston, be has measured Shakespeare and Dickens, and found the giants wanting; in France be has talked the argot of "L'Assom niolr" over the grave of Hugo; even in free Scandinavia he has discovered a Zola with a stuttering style and two wooden legs, and made a totem-god of Ibsen; whilo here in England he threatens Turner, the painter, and has prac tically (as he thinks) demolished the gospol of poetical sentiment. And yet, enrionsly enough, be has done nothing, he has given us nothing; for he is nothing." ' AN AMUSING PET. The Antics of the Coaitl-Mondl, Which Eats Its Own Tall. From the Animal World.: Mr. Wood gives a very amusing account of a pot coalti-mondi, a South American animal, al lied to tbe raccoon: He once stole an egg while cooking was going on. My mother saw him, and chivied him all over the house, until at last she cornered him. He Still kept tho egg in his mouth, and when he saw he must be caught he deliberately raised his head as high as he conld, dashed the egg down on the carpet and "klkocd" frantic ally with glee. The little animal would always find out a scented handkerchief, roll It up Into a tight ball, sit upright bold the ball to his nose with his f orepaws, and sniff at it with eyes closed in ecstacy. After enjoying it for some time, he would turn round and rub it gently up and down his talk Ibis tail was a funny piece of furniture, for it never moved to the right or left when be turned round, but stuck stiffly in an arch be hind. He was very fond of lying Inside the fender, and whenever we perceived a smell of burning we always knew it was only Kiko's tail raking out the lower bar as he turned. He never seemed to feel a burn, and once quite roasted the tip. Which he 'ate, and enjoyed it immensely. It soon got well again, and there did not seem to be any sore. He Had Experience. From the Chicago Wews.j Ex-President Clevelan&has returned safely to this country from Cuba, his long experience with office1 seekers having enabled htm to elade the bandits ot that island with;, comparative ease. Married Once Too Often Shslbwille, Ind., March aa-The seven-tlmes-marrled Mollie Carmtn has filed a suit for divorce against her sixth husband, from whom she was divorced last term of court and re-marriea soon alter. A SHOW OF SHOES. A Carinas Exhibition to be BeM In Lon donThe Footwear df OarForcfatbers Tbe Contest for Supremacy Between . tbe BUckle abd the Shoestring. London is to have an exhibition of ''Antique and Historical Shoes." In an article upon this novel show the London Standard says; "Man, we may take it in his primitive state, dispensed with ShOeS. Even now, the soles of tbe fishing Indians of Notthwest America, and those Of the Diggers, of California, Ufa as hard as hord, though In tho Cactus country, further east, it is so difficult to travel without foot protection, that to take the boots oil a horse thief .is con sidered a tolerable guarantee that he wlU not wander far afield, should it be necessary for his captors to pals the night by a prairie camp fire. -But the earliest glimpses which we have of civilized man are as a ShOe-wearer. The Greeks had their sandals. Or "pedalia," for ordinary use, thohgh even they lud special ones for the bath, and hunting Doots laced up In front of the leg. while the Etruscan figures show the ladies with toe less socks and strapped sandals. The Romans wore something similar. Yet refinement bad proceeded so far that while there was the or dinary "calceus," the makers of which cam bered the streets Of the Imperial City with their stalls, the soldiers had the forerunner of the "military boot," in the shape of the "ealigSj" and the "country gentlemen" the high-legged "campagus." Then the Benators wore shoes Of Scarlet leather, decked with knobs of ivory or brass, and the patricians "calcei" of black ma terial, ornamented with the ivory "lunula." The sketches which have descended to us frOm the earliest times represent the mag istrates and other Egyptian people of rank wearing sandals, though it does not appear that this fashion became general until about 1,600 years before tbe Christian era, the rule prior to that date being for all classes to go barefoot unless on ceremonial occasions. Endless Varieties' of Footgenr. It is, however, chiefly lu mediaeval Europe that we see the endless varieties of footgear which puzzle the leaders ot fleeting fashion. Academic and ecclesiastical costume have ap peared in various shapes, with shoes to suit while civil dress, if more changeable, is not less remarkable as regards the covering of tbe lower oxtremitles. Tbe Anglo-Saxons wore low-boots, but by the twelfth century dignita ries had begun to encase their feet In green boots enciicled with gold, and armed with spurs of the same precious metal. King John, however, took to black boots, and by the four teenth century the shoes became so prodigious ly long that the toes had to be looped up, And, finally, a sumptuary law was passed limit ing them to a reasonable size. But by the fifteenth century they ran to the opposite ex treme, getting so broad that again a paternal King bad to interfere. In France, half boots or "poulslnes" came Into vogue, and of so fine a material that, in order to proteot them, men of rank walked about In clogs. The high heeled shoes which came in with Charles H. were preferable, though the huge jack-boots of the solidiers seem to have been about as un wieldy a protection for the foot as could well be imagined. The varying fashions which fol lowed will, no doubt, be well Illustrated in the forthcoming ExulbtioD, though, as a rule, since brass and silver heels ran their course, the follies of tbe age have in this direction been illustrated mainly in the height of the hinder part the tightness of the shoe, and the changes rung on'narrow and broad toes. r Abont Buckles and Shoe-Strings. Buckles ought to form an Interesting feature of the display. They came into England with tbe Restoration, and became so large, costly and popnlar, that -at one time their manufac ture gave employment to 4,000 people in Bir mingham alone. When shoestrings, always affected by the Puritans and Quakers, resumed their sway, the buckiemaker3 petitioned the Prince of Wales to try and avert their ruin. This he endeavored to do by wearing buckles himself, and commanding his household to fol low his example. But in the end, fashion was too much for all of them. At present, these ornaments are only seen In court costume, and on the shaes of certain Continental ecclesias tics in spite of recent attempts to reintroduce them as part of evening dres. Spurs have, of course, never gone out though the huge rowels of gold and silver are no longer seen, except in Spanish America, where a caballero of the first water will expend upon bis trappings enough metal to purchase a Derby winner. These once Invariable appendages of riding boots being naturally more Indestructible than the articles to which they were attached, tbe collection is safe to be both extensive and artistic. IN MEMORY 0-JnK1EWS. - ' - The Supreme Conrt Bar WlU Take Appro priate Action. Washington, March 80 A preliminary. meeting of the Har of tbe Supreme Court was held this morning to make arrangements for a meeting of the Bar in memory of the late Jus tice Matthews. Among those present were Assistant Attorney General Maury, Senator Evarts, Representatives Butterworth, of Ohio, and Breckinridge, of Kentucky; Generals Mussey and Henkle, of the District Bar; Hon. Joseph E. McDonald, George Ticknor Curtis and General Kppa Hnnton. Senator Evarts was called on to preside, and, on taking the chair, said: "Gentlemen of the Bar of the Supreme Court of the United States: The affective Intelli gence of the death of the associate justice. Judge Matthews, brought to the attention of the court and to the profession and to the pub lic a week ago, presents the occasion for our meeting here. It is tbe purpose In calling this meeting that an arrangement should now be made that some early day be named at which suitable resolutions should be presented and considered, and at which an opportunity Bhould be given for the expression of the in terest of the Bar. their esteem, their respect and their admiration and affection for their de ceased friend. An early day has been fixed upon and will be snggested, which, if accept able to tbe profession now represented here, will be adopted." Assistant Attorney General Maury then pre sented resolutions for adoption, providing for a committee of eight to take suitable action and providing that the commemorative meet ing be held on April 6, at 11 a. it. These reso lutions were adopted, and the presiding officer appointed tbe following committee in accord ance with the first resolution: Senators Ed munds and Hoar. Representatives Butter worth, of Ohio, and Breckinridge, of Kentucky; Solicitor General Jenks, Hon. Joseph E. Mc Donald, George Ticknor Curtis and Samuel Shellabarger. BURIAL OF THE GREAT COMMONER. The Last Sail Honors Paid to Mr. John Bright. London, March 80. The funeral of Mr. John Bright took place to-day. Crowds of people lined tho isjute of the procession from One Ash, Mr. Brlght's late residence, near Rochdale, to tho cemetery. Among those present were Right Hon. Joseph Cbamber laln.Sir Wilfrid Lawson,Mr. Jesse ColUngs, Mr. Arnold Morley, Mr. William Rathbone and General H. Lydenoch Gardiner, C. B., Equery in Ordinary to Queen Victoria, who represented Her Majesty. A number of deputations bead ed tbe procession. Fifteen carriages contain ing mourners followed the hearse. Eight of Mr. Brlght's workmen Carried. the coffin to the hearse and from the hearse to the g-aye. 1 When the coffin was placed in the grave the mourners gathered around in silent meditation, according to the custom of the Quakers, to which sect Mr. Bright belonged. Tne Dean of Founder's College atterward delivered an oration. He spoke of Mr. Bright as a man of great simplicity, who did not attribute his talents to bis own efforts, bnt considered them gilts from God, Four wreaths remained on the coffin when it was lowered into tbe grave. One was Sent from Biarritz by Queen Victoria. Attached to it was Her Majesty's autograph. Another was from the Prince and Princess of Wales, with a card bearing the words: "As a mark of respect" Tho third was from Mr. Brlght's work people and the fourth from Miss Cobden. Attached to Miss Cobden's wreath was a card inscribed: "in loving memory of my father's best friend." Grndilions iniign of Bereavement. Joe Howard 1n the New York Press.T Fashion decrees that men and women in mourning. Sorrowing for their dead, shall wear some somber evidence thereof, tending in its extravagance, "however, to a lavish display that seems an ostentatious challenge to the critic. And now tbe merchants of our time, quick to accept the slightest hint or opportunity to in crease their store, have decreed, and people blindly follow, that there shall be periodic gra dations in tbe signs of bereavement from deep est crape and longest veil, that mitigate their outward indications, which, when Interpreted in plain Saxon, wonld seem to say that "Six months after one is gone the grief is less." be cause the crape is not so wide; tbe sorrow is not so great because the mourning garb is lightened. A Grand Conspiracy. From the New York Press. Cigarette makers, Belters, consumers, are in a grand conspiracy against the coming generation. BITS OF NEW I0RK GOSSIP. The Hockawny Hotel tobe Removed, f SISV YOttK SUKXAtr SflClALS.J New Yobk, March 30. The Ocean Bay So ciety Will not convert the WgBockaway Hotel and Its grounds into a second Chautauqua or Ocean Grove, as it announced in the circulars Which It scattered broadcast over the country. The dption of the society expired before It Could complete arrangements for the pdrehase, and this afternoon Austin Corbln, agent for Levi P, Morton, Bliss & Co., the owners, adver tised the sale, of tbe hotel at auction on April 15. The silverware, linen and furniture, ot which there is a vast qnantitv, will be sold three days earlier'. The purchaser ot the hotel will contract to remove the building within one year", itt. Corbln will eventuaUy divide tbe 140 acres of land, now occupied by tbe hotel and its grounds. Into small building lots, lay Out streets and panks, and try to transform the Place Into a second Tuxedo. Brooklyn Want n World's tfalf, A movement has jnst been Started in Brook lyn to have a world's fair there next year, in celebration of the toor hundredth anniversary of the discovery of America. Several prom inent business men who are pushing the scheme think thai Brooklyn ought to have the fair, be cause it was the horn of Henry Ward Beecher, is easily accessible from the metropolis over the big bridge, and has never had anything be- tntA. TilA TirnnfrlirH nln, f1nA41 ia trvlrtfl- tft decide whether to spend 230.000 upon an annex to its largest parK. The principal argu ment in favor of the expenditure has been that tbe annex wonld be a fine site for the proposed exposition. Distinguished Passengers for Europe. Mr. and Mrs. Cornelius Vanderbilt, Miss Gertrude Vanderbilt three little VanderbntS, three maids and a special stewardess, sailed on the steamship Etruria for Europe, this morn ing. Mr.J.H. Carnegie was also among the passengers. Schooners-Playing In Hard Luck. The English steamship Beta, from Matanzas, Cuba, came into port to-day with a badly bit. tered hull. At 6 o'clock last Tuesday evening she collided with the American schooner Belle Hooper, SO miles off Cape Hatteras. The Hooper filled with water to tbe upper deck Im mediately. The Beta towed the Hooper to Hampton Roads, where the schooner capsized and went to the bottom with all her cargo. No lives were lost The Trans-Atlantic steamship Indiana, which left her berth for Liverpool last evening, collided in the lower Day with, a small schooner which is supposed to have sunk immediately afterward. The huge iron plates on the Indiana's port bow were ripped away and broken for some distance above her water line. The Indiana put back to her dock, where 'a large part of her cargo has been unloaded to day preparatory to repairs. No trace of the schooner which struok the Indiana has been found. Spring- Ocean Travel Terr Large. The number of cabin passengers on the out goingsteamers for Europe this morning was unusually large. As compared with last year at the some time, the exodus is fully one-third greater. He Cnn't Qalte Keep a Wife. Samuel Rottstein, 17 years old, told a police justice to-day how he had come all the way from Prenn, Russia, to New York to escape his 20-year-old wife. One year ago tbe present Mrs. Rottstein got Samuel for a husband in exchange for J10 paid by her to Rottstein, Sr., of Prenn. Two davs after the ceremony young Rottstein fled from his bride by night and sailed for America. Mrs. Rottstein pursued him. She found him to-day in a butcher's shop, af ter a search of ten months. She tried to em brace him, but he ran away. Then she had him arrested. As Rottstein earns but id a month, support of his wife was out of the question. He said he would rather die than live with her. The justice told him he needn't do it then, and discharged him. Wben Wbltelaw Will Leave for France. Whitelaw Held, Minister to France, and his family will sail for Havre on tbe steamship Bourgogne Mayl In the meantime Ogden Mills, his brother-in-law, now in London, will run over to Paris to arrange for the new quar ters of Mr. Reid and his legation. Legitime Wants Peacr. It was officially given out at tbe Haytlan consulate to-day that Legitime hadsent a peace commission of three to Cape Haytien by the steamer Delta. Letters have come to Minister Preston about it The commission is empow ered to confer with Hippolyte about establish ing some basis of relationship on which the war can be declared off. No More Sacred Concerts. Superintendent Murray said to-day that the police would arrest the proprietors of all con cert saloons found open to-day, and that prob ably a few arrests would be made in the case of theaters holding Sunday night entertain ments In order to determine whether nnder the existing laws these places can keep open. The Corporation Counsel wants to make a test case. NOT A CENT IS MISSING. Two Hundred million Stnmps Counted by n Treasury Committee. Washington, March 30. The Treasury committee appointed to count the stamps in the vaults of the Internal Revenue Bureau completed Its work to-day. The count was made necessary by tbe transfer of the bnreau from Commissioner Miller to Commissioner Mason. Two hundred million stamps of the value of 845.1)00,000 were connted and every cent was ac counted for, and the stamps were found to be in good condition. Not Like Congress. From the Chicago Tribune. A tournament of chess players is distin guished tram most other contests by the quiet and good order that prevails and the intellect ual activity It calls forth. It sounds grotesque to call such a gathering a congress. ODD ITEMS FROM FOREIGN SHORES. The zouave uniform is to be abandoned in the French army. It is alleged that it takes $5,000 distributed as tips in the police department to get a permit to open anew club in Paris. WESTMiNiSTEn HALT,, in the Parliament building, that has been closed to the public since the dynamite explosions a few years ago, has been opened again. Dooe knobs and bell bandies of the famous are now being collected as souvenirs in London, Imitating the old fashion of preserving the knockers of the great houses. v A stivep. bell has been hung In a tower in the village of Borkl, where the railroad acci dent to the Czar's train happened, and it will be tolled every day at the hour of the accident THE English courts hold that when a man writes asking another to "favor him with a check" for a bill, the Intent is that the check is to" be sent by post and tne creditor is liable If the check is lost in the malls. A well-known English actress is angry be cause a manufacturer of false teeth has placarded his town with pictures representing her "before and after" taking a set of his famous teeth. The "before" portrait is the one which makes her angry. The public laboratory of Paris attached to tbe police department has been found to be a nest of corruption. M. GIrard, the director, has been accustomed to accept great sums from tradesmen accused or adulterating their goods; even having established a system of blackmail based on threats of exposing adulteration. A FLAStt-Lloirr signal for tbe rear ot trains is being tested in England. It shows a fixed light for a stationary train, and alternate flashes of red and white when the train is in motion, so arranged as to show whether the train is going forward or backward. An ex perienced eye can Also tell by the rapidity of tbe flashes the speed ot the train. The lights are worked by the wheels. The British Postmaster General reports that last year 391,662 persons In this country sent money by postal order to relatives in Great Britain and Ireland, the total sum amounting to about 5,250.000, while 78 310 persons in Can ada sent over $1,000,000 in tho same way, and the total sum sent in that way from Australia, the United States and South Africa in tbe year was over 19,000,000, or an average of over $30,000 a day, coming from 635,230 persons. A writer thinks that this shows what flllalregard the British rice has for the parents left behind. CU8I0D8 CONDENSATION'S: London's police force numbers J14,257 men. Onions are selling for a cent a bushel at Canastota, N. Y. A Frenchman proposes to set up eight looms in New Bedford, Mats, to manufacture tansy cashmeres. A number of the principal hotel propri etors ot Paris have met and decided to increase their price by from 20 to 23 per cent from the Opening of the exhibition. An ingenious Boston man has captured 100 crows, and proposes to batch with an incu bator crow chicks for the Maine market Where their heads are worth 10 cents apiece. The bright star Canopus emits more than 1,500 times the light ot our tan. Slrlus is at such a distance that Its light occupies nearly nine years in reaching us. and Its real bright ness U that of 63 SUns. An English medical journal declares that the number of infants smothered, to death by half-tipsy parents, between sunset on Satur day and sunrise on Monday, exceeds the mor tality of any other night in the week. A scientist has promulgated the theory that natural gas will gradually turn blonde hair dark. He says the gas generates an ammon ical vapor, which combine with the snlphur in tbe hair chemically and produces solphuret of ammonia. During the water famine in New Or leans Mr. Lono was the envtof his neighbors, because be had a biz cistern. One morning he discovered that daring tne night someone had I)rS50Pe.,ltUaclstern ?nd stolen from L500 to 2,000 gallons of water. $ Louis Goulon, a laborer in a French mill, is 02 years old, and has a gray beard three yards long that he Wears wonnd around his neck; His beard and mnstacbe began to grow when be was 12, and at 14 he had a beard a foot long. It is still growing. 'A German statistician estimates , the number of languages spoken by the inhabitants Of the earth to be 3,064, and the religionists to number 1.C00 different confessions of faith. He estimates tbe number of deaths to be 35,214,000 and births S8,72,O0O every year. There is a natural born humorist at Red Cloud, Neb, He announced excitedly the other day that he had made an important discovery of ooal and volunteered to show the place. He was followed by an enthusiastic crowd aU over town, when he led the way to a cool yard. A sporting man in Chicago was so cer tain that his dog wonld win a proposed fight that he mortgaged, his cigar factory and all his jewelry, and even persuaded his sweetheart to pat up all her loose cash. The other dog won, and his factory was closed out and his girl com mitted suicide. A Salano, Cal., paper says: The Straits are literally swarming with sea lions, and the fishermen are having a hard straggle with them. Oat of IS salmon In a net Tuesday, only two were secured by the flshermeja, the sea lions eating up before their eyes the other 14, besides tearing the net to pieces. The beautifully paved streets of London are so slippery that an association has recently been formed called the Society forProuToting the Safety of Horses, and another called the Horse Accident Prevention Society. Tbe pro posed plan to receive the most commendation was to keep the stroets clean and well sanded. A young daughter of Milton-Bloke, of Keene, N. H., became seriously and myster iously ill. Finally it was suggested that the ill ness might be due to the new green flannel dress she had been wearing. A piece of the goods was analyzed by a chemist, and found to be heavily loaded with arsenic The girl had been poisoned- A soldier named Vertjoie has just been condemned to death for an extraordinary per formance. He was being tried by court-martial at Oran for an attempt to desert when he suddenly threw the quid of tobacco comfort ably stowed away in the recesses of his cheek in the face of Colonel Thierry, who presided. Tbe m was at once sentenced to death for an assault on a superior while on duty. A teacher in a Western town, who asked one of her papus to procure a grammar, re ceived the following note from the girl's mother: "I do not desire that Mattie shall in gageln grammar as I prefer ber to ingage in more yoasful studies and can learn her to speak and write proper myself. I have went through two grammars and can't say as they did me no good I prefer Mattie to ingage In German ana drawing and vokal music on the piano." A German living In Weehawker. has sent a letter to the Superintendent of Castle Garden offering him SI if he will find a wife for him which will coma up to the specifications given in the letttrT He Bays she must be a rosy-cheeked, golden-haired Dutch girl. 20 years old, five feet tall, weighing not over 123 pounds, plump, and "with a waist tapering gently from the bead and feet." She must be of a modest retiring disposition aud very in dustrious. J. L. McCloud, of Omaha, has been missing eggs from his barn for some time past and the other day he found out the thief by a mere accident He Bays: I was standing in the barn the other morning when a hen came cack ling from her nest in the manger and a few moments after a big rat came from his hole, ran across tbe barn and climbed into the man ger. I could hear bun and was idly watching to see what he was doing, when you can imag ine my surprise to see him rolling the egg in front of him toward tbe edge ot the manger. After a good many efforts he Anally succeeded. He paused there, gathering the egg up under his "chin'' he rolled himself completely around it, resembling the form of a hedge hog when alarmed, then tie deliberately rolled over the edge of the manger and dropped squarely on his back on the floor, two feet below, thus saving the egg whole. Immediately he began to squeal with all his strength, and just as I was starting to put him out of his misery, thinking be had broken bis back in the fall, two other rats appeared on the scene. They ran np to the first one as he lay on the floor, and eacn seizing hold of a hind leg began to drag him, egg and all, across the barn. Just as they reached their hole and the first old grizzled fel low disappeared, pushing the egg in front of him. It dawned on me that I had at last found out where our eggs had been going. CLIPPED BITS OF WIT. Kiss Spook Cbacer Do you believe in second sight Mr. Peck? Mr. N. Peck-You Just bet I do. My marriage was a result ot love at first sight. Terre Haius hxpress. The Lawyer at Home. "Amelia, be sure and put away at once everything that Is of any value, because the thief who has just been ac quitted on my eloquent defense IS coming to-day to thank mt.,,i1Ugtndt Blatter. New Classification. The division of so ciety Into the "classes" and the "masses," though popular at present Is vague and inex haustlve. Society Is really made up or tollers, idlers and criminals; which may be fitly called, respectively, the working, shirking and larking Classes. Punch. A Felicitous Turn. Brown Well, Jones, have you succeeded In capturing Miss Smith's band, yet? Jones-Not exactly her hand, bnt I got the next thing to It. Urown Ah? Jones Yes, I got the mitten. Detroit Frit Press. A World of Wonders. Governess Tommy, name the "Seven Wonders of the World." Tommy The pyramids, the sphinx, another sphinx, the gardens where they hanged in Baby lon, my sister's bean, bath and myself. The punishment that followed was another won der to Tommy. Time No Time to Lose. "It is now or never with me, Charley. Delays are dangerous at this season or the year, and I've made up my mind to propose to Hiss Slmpktns this very evening." Charley Delays are dangerous! What do yoa mean by that? "Why, stupid, the bsll season opens pretty soon, and .f I don't nail her now she'll get mashed on a ball plarer."-CA(eajro Herald. Two strangers were talking on the cars, and one was a portrait painter. Arter some time tuo other inquired the painter's business. ' "1 am an artUt" he replied, modestly. -1 "Ah," said the other, -what do you draw?' " "traces." "And I am an artist " continued tne other. "Ah, " exclaimed the painter, with smile of interest, '-and pray, may I ask, what do, you draw?"- , . Teeth," said the other: "I am a dentist."' Then the artist got up and left the seat Wash, ington Critic. ' ' T Why She was Interested. Sweet-faced Young Woman Your paper yesterday contained in account of the flogging Into Insensibility or a prisoner. Have you received any morepartlcal larsr - ' Edltor-Oh, yes. Owing to the strong-protest we made the poor tellow Is In the hospital and re ceiving the best or catc. Yonng 'ftoman-Oh, I don't care aboat the prisoner. lam a member of the Si P. C. A., and lwant to lnowwhat became of the cat-the cat be was whipped with, yoa know. Tern jllauU hxpress. jfafr I ' V . .
Significant historical Pennsylvania newspapers