TKE PlTTSBTTRtf DISPATCH, SITNDAT: MMGH2188 r n i i -. W$ M$&t ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY Jt 1S46L Vol.44, Xo . Entered at Pittsburg Postofflce, 2,'ovember 14, 1SS7, as second-class mutter. Business Office 07 and 99 Fifth Avenue. News Booms and Publishing House 75, 77 and 79 Diamond Street. Average circulation of the dally edition of The Dispatch for six months ending March 1, 1SS9, 27,988 Copies per Issue. Average circulation of the Sunday edition of The Dispatch for February, 1SSD, 45,144 Copies per Issue. TERMS OF THE DISPATCH. I"OSTAGE FKEF. IT THK UNITED STATES. DAH.T DISPATCH. One Year 8 00 Dailt Dispatch, Per Quarter 2 00 Daily Dispatch, One Month 70 Dailt Dispatch, including bunday, one year 10 00 Dailt Dispatch, Including Sunday, per qoarter 2 50 Dailt Dispatch, Including Sunday, one month W So-day Dispatch, oneycar 2 50 eekly Dispatch, one year 125 The Daily Dispatch Is delivered by carriers at IS cents per week, orlncludlngthefeundayedltlon. at 20 cents per week.. Toluntary contributors should keep copia of articles. If compensation is desired the price expected must be named. The courtesy of re turning rejected manuscripts mil be extended when stamps for that purpose are enclosed, but the Editor of The Dispatch trill under no circumstances be responsible for the care of un solicited manuscripts. . PITTSBURG, SUNDAY, MAR. 24. ISSa. To First of April Sloven. Persons changing their residence at the first of April or before, can have Tub Dispatch delivered at their new addresses by ordering through postal card, telephone or In person at the Fifth avenue office. THE FAYETTE EOBBEB-HUUT. Dwellers in cities in these parts can not fail to be struck by the extraordinary state of things reported from the mountain district of old Fayette. The masked rob--bers at McClellandtown, the diabolical tor tures which they visited upon their victims, and their escape, 'were all thrilling enough rather more like a tale of the wild "West than of one of the oldest settlements of Pennsylvania. But whether the exigencies of existence, much dime-novel reading, nat ural disposition tn desneradoism, or all three influences, can sufficiently or not account fox this bold defiance of the law, the still more surprising inability to catch the rob bers is not explained. Reports during the week stated that they were known. Even their names were vol unteered and the residence of some of the supposed malefactors was located and sur rounded The Sheriff, however, seems to have returned to XTniontown empty-handed. The strange and astounding circumstance is that persons whose identity, truly or falsely, is thus proclaimed) could success fully lose themselves for any length of time in Fayette. Though the mountain region has extensive forest tracts it is surrounded by a copulation which should long before now have succeeded in laying hands on fugitives in hiding. That there is any sym pathy with or fear of the desperadoes up there is not to be believed. Still the rob bers are at large. CLARKSOH'S EXQUISITE REABOKS. It is instructive to be assured by Mr. Clark son's own organ of his reasons for accepting the Assistant Postmaster Generalship. He tells the awed public that he refused a Cab inet position, a first-class foreign mission and four other posts of importance, but when it came to the office that he is now filling, he recognized the call of duty. He knew the obligations incurred in the cam paign and the necessity of bestowing this army properly. He does not intend to stay in the position more than a few months and when the 64,000 postoffices are divided up among the party -workers he will retire, evi dently claiming the gratitude of the nation for his labors. The stunning picture which is thus pre sented, of Mr. Clarkson throwing one high place after another over his shoulder, until be gets down to where be can sow fourth class postoffices broadcast, is rivalled by the implied spectacle of n great country going down on its knees and imploring that gen tleman to do as no one else can, the impor tant work of ladling out the pap. But even these are cast in the shade by the implied avowal of the Assistant Postmaster General that the raisbn d' etre of the postoffices is to pay for campaign services. The idea that postoffices are things exclusively for public service never entered Mr. Clarkson'sinind, or if it did it was rejected as an utterly Mug wumpian heresy. Some day the idea of paying for party ser vices with offices will appear as semi-civilized as Walpole's practice of buying votes with them; bnt it looks as if it will have to be after politicians of the Clarkson stamp have been killed off. OAKS AND AC0RHS. The litigation just started over the owner ship of stock in the Monongahela "Water Company throws some light on the profits of that corporation. From small propor tions it has grown in value at a rate corre sponding to the enormous growth of the Southside. While the stockholders are de bating in the courts the legality of the al leged injection of nearly half a million of something like, if not quite, water into the capitalization upon which consumers have to toot the dividend bill, outsiders will re flect that the city should have whatever pront there is in supplying commodities such as -water and gas. Or better still would it be if the city furnished these at the cost of production, allowing a fair esti mate for running expenses and interest on the plant .But the era of perfect municipal economy has not yet arrived. Franchises are not ap preciated by the taxpayer at their money value until the growth of towns and cities shows their bonanza characteristics. Then they have become "vested rights," and either no remedy of repeal exists where they are exorbitant, or they are powerful enough to disregard inquiry and overcome opposi tion. These remarks are not intended to corvey any expression as to the extraordinary charges which one set of prominent busi ness men bring against another set equally prominentregarding the management ofjthe company's affairs. -That is for the courts. The squabble simply serves to remind the taxpayers that the profits which are being fought about would, under a wiser policy, belong to the city. "WHAT WIND WON'T DO. Farmers have a halcyon future before them, If the Christian Metaphysician is to be believed. Our staid cotemporary states 'thai a Kansas farmer planted threejmndred grains of wheat in three boxes, one hundred to a box. Then he mentally encouraged the wheat to grow in one "box, discouraged it in another and left the wheat in the third box to work out its own salvation unaided and undeterred. The result was that every grain of wheat which felt the farmer's men tal encouragement, sprouted and grew apace, only a few of the discouraged grains broke through the ground and the grains left to their own devices grew but moderately well. It just comes to this: If Christian meta physics can accomplish this, the ugly and unsentimental part of farming, the hard work, can be dispensed with at once. A man can just sit on his front porch and con centrate his mind on his desires in the way of crops, and the seeds will come hustling prepaid from the seedmen, the horses will be willed ont of the barn, the machines will harness themselves to the horsev the sqed will get into the machines, the ma chines will move upon the fields, and the fields will ripen to the harvest without much ado. Such will be the triumph of mind over matter. However, till the editor of the Christian Metaphysician states in leaded brevier that he has succeeded in getting out his paper by the simple exercise of will power and mental concentration, and that he will not ask subscribers and advertisers to pay for what he can produce for nothing, we advise the honest farmer to rely upon the sweat of his brow and the kindness of nature to fill his barns. "Wind will turn a windmill, but it will not run even a two-acre farm. GLADSTONE'S POSSIBLE SUCCESSOR. Tne practical declaration of Lord Salis bury's last speech, that the Tories -will hang on until they are absolutely kicked out by a vote of -want of confidence, has another foundation than the hope of new issues arising. It also contains a bid for delay against Mr. Gladstone's life, with the ex pectation that if the wonderful old leader dies, the Liberals and Home Rulers would fall to pieces. "We have frequently expressed our faith that Mr. Gladstone's magnificent physique and temperate life would insure his surviv ing the Tory regime. But it is worth while to discuss the chances of finding a man to take his place if he should die before the Tory stupidities have brought them to ruin. It has, until recently, been the fact that a successor to Gladstone in the Liberal leader ship was wanting. But the events of the past few months have steadily tended to point out a younger man who can take his place if he should be removed by death. That man is Charles Stewart Para ell. Among the English Liberals, Morley and Hircourt are able men and vigorous parlia mentary fighters; but they have not all the qualities needed for leadership. On the other hand Parnell's position has been until recently a semi-alien one. But the meas ures which were intended to crush him, have really strengthened him. He has tri umphed over a conspiracy to blacken his character; and in the very hour of triumph has shown a moderation, conservatism and singleness of purpose that must -win the ad miration and confidence of the fair-minded element among the English people. "We hope that Mr. Gladstone will live to preside over the triumph of his cause; but if fate should order otherwise, it would be a wonderful stroke ot poetic justice if the slanders concocted to "destroy the Irish leader, should make him as clearly and in disputably the leader of the English Liber als as he is of the Irish. THE SINKING FUND. DISPUTE. The discussion which, has been carried on by Mr."Wherry on one side and by Governor Beaver, to a rather limited extent, on the other, does not seem to place the issues very distinctly before the public. Governor Beaver's assertion that it would be better to sell Government fours and purchase State fives at figures which effect a saving in in terest is decidedly correct, provided the pre miums on each class of securitv showed such a saving. It is hard to see how the figure named by Governor Beaver, of 115 for State bonds which will mature in 1892, could effect such a saving, as that premium very nearly equals the entire interest for the period in tervening. On the other hand, 107.J4, the price at which bonds are stated to have been purchased within the past few days, makes the State bonds a 3 per cent invest ment It is undoubtedly wise to sell a 2 percent investment, like United States fours at the present premium, in order to make such a purchase. But this ignores the charge which Mr. "Wherry appears to make that the sales of United States bonds at 124 lett its results idle in the Treasury. If it be true that a surplus had been 'kept idle -which might have been left to earn 2 per cent interest, it -was of course a grave error in administra tion; although Mr. "Wherry's estimate of 5225,000 of a loss by that course does not appear to be very accurate. It is also necessary to say that Mr. "Wherry's resolution ordering that United States bonds only shall be purchased with the State sinking funds is not -warranted by the quotations on State and United States securities. At 128 for U. S. fours and 107 for State fives, the latter is by far the best in vestment for State funds. The money which will buy 5100,000 of the former, yielding interest of $4,000 a year, will re deem $120,000 of the latter and save annual interest of $5,000. At such figures, there is no better investment for the sinking funds of a State than its own bonds. AMSTOCBATIC EHTAHGLEMENTS. That centennial quadrille at New York is steadily becoming a complicated affair. The announcement that the participants in that important ceremony must be the possessors of Revolutionary ancestors, has had the effect of bulling the ancestor market so much as to create suspicions of a corner. The fashionable world has thought with envy of the happy fortune of Majoi General Stanley, -who was able to purchase a whole abbey-lull of ancestors; butonly one eminent lady of fashion who has adopted the tomb of General Marion and sent orders to have it repaired at her expense, has been able to rival the good luck of Gilbert's military man. And now come rumors of war between those lights of fashion "Ward McAllister and Stuyvesa nt Fish. Mr. Fish claims that he "saved the quadrille from ruin," and in timates that McAllister was the author of that terrible disaster, while the latter replies with a letter, which points out that Fish has committed the sacrilege of addressing him, "Ward McAllister, as if he were "a. subordinate and delinquent clerk in a rail way or factory." "We fail to see how such an insult to the eminent and blue-blooded leader of the Four Hundred, as to reduce him to the lever of a beggarly hireling can be atoned for, otherwise than by the spilling of blood. Messrs. McAllister and Fish should prepare at once for the field of battle. But a conflict between such eminent' characters cannot he of the ordinary class. Let it be the real old-fashioned ordeal of battle. Let the Four .Hundred repair to the PJlo Ground, while the champions run a tourney with grinded spears until one or both of them has been conclusively demon strated to be in the Wrong by his death. This will not only vindicate their honor, but will afford a large amount of amusement until some other exponent of fashion dis covers a new way to make a fool of himself. That entertainment would be an accept able substitute for the Centennial Quadrille, especially in the promise it would hold out of diminishing the surplus of population of the class that plays at being aristocratic. That probability, also, would diminish the trouble from the overplus of people who wish to be the observed of all observers, in the quadrille. The report that General Lew "Wallace will return to Constantinople will be wel comed with joy by the Sultan. It is cur rently believed that the Commander of the Faithful has almost forgotten the art of painting Stamboul red, since the exigencies of American politics bereft him of the author of "The Fair God." The suggestion that the retention of the present Postmaster, in the absence of charges against him, till his term-runs out, would be more in the line of the civil pro fessions at Chicago than removing him, seems to have struck in a good many quar ters simultaneously. Neither the President nor the Cabinet officers can desire to im mediately adjudicate upon a rivalry for patronage between Senator Quay and Con gressman Dalzell. They mav prefer to let Larkin stand till his commission expires. "Whitela-w Beid was confirmed yester day. The discrimination between his case and that of Eugene Schuyler expresses the Senate's platform that pitching into Grant in 1872 don't count if the aspirant has made himself solid with the Senators during the interim. The example of sectarian dispute ending in a fight which threatens to become iatal, illustrates how little of the religious quali ties of charity, peacennd good will there is in the bigotry of such quarrels. On the other hand there is a sort of grimly farcical element mixed with the tragedy, when we read that one of the participants carried on the dispute by reviling the "Micks,-" while his own name bears the prefix, from which that very vulgar piece of slang is corrupted. As English paper trust is announced. This looks like an attack on the other trusts. It attempts to levy an increased burden on their favorite scheme of produc ing capital by means of the printing press. The President's declaration that he Is going to send a man to London who com bines the qualities of Charles Francis Adams, John Lathrop Motley and James Russell Lowell, puts the country at large in a state of bewilderment as to where he will find that gifted person. But Colonel Elliot F. Shepard smiles his pleasure at the announcement, with the modest confidence that he just fills that bill. Fittsbubo might have made the "West Virginia railroad boom extend her tributary fields, if the SouthPenusylvania project had been kept alive to fulfil the obligations of its charter. The remark of the Philadelphia Press that "the Mugwump organs are sorely dis tressed" over Whitelaw Beid's appoint ment, implies forgetfulness that Beid was once a Mugwump himself. It also shows a still more singular oblivion of the fact that at a more recent date the esteemed Press was itself a Mugwump organ. It is human to regard every man's doxy but your own doxy as heterodoxy. Bismabck's reproof of Consul Knappe, and disavowal of his aggressive acts, is as conciliatory as this country can wish. "We shall not have to fight Germany this round. In view of the facthat bandits in Cuba carry off distinguished persons and hold them for ransom, the ex-Presidental party should stick close to the towns. The Cuban bandits might not be able to comprehend the difference between the value of a Presi-V dent and that oi an ex-President, and ask a bigger price for Mr. Cleveland than he' would bring. "Wheat prospects are excellent, but the Chicago manipulators keep right on screw ing up the price of the staff of life. The failure of Henry Villard'a $12,000,000 scheme to get up an electric light pool, fills the country with surprise that anything embodying such an immense total could fall short of success. But the rule that a big pile of money can do anything is saved in this case. Yillard's $12,000,000 was principally a mixture of wind and water. PERSONAL FACTS AKD FANCflS. Ex-Sknatoh Palmkk, Minister to Spain, speaks very excellent Spanish. He spent a long time in Spain during his youth. Me. Cleveland will call on bis sister. Rose Elizabeth, before he returns to New York. Miss Cleveland is in the south of Florida. Mrs. Nellie Grant Sabtoris sailed for Europe with her two children on the Cunarder Serna yesterday. She returns in the autumn. President Harrison's typewriter. Miss Banter, is said to be the first woman ever em ployed at the White House in a clerical ca pacity. Buffalo Hill will leave this country for Pans in a few weeks with his famous band of cowboys and redskins. Her will camp for the summer near the great Exposition. A monument to John A. Logan's memory Is projected in Illinois, and, as the Senate of that State has projected a $30,000 appropriation for the work, it will probably bo completed be fore some other important undertakings of a like character are well under way. An old lady living in Portland, Me., offered for sale to an agent of one of the Vanderbilts ten years ago a painting by one of tho old mas ters, an heirloom, which straitened circum stances compelled her to part with. The price asked was 4300, and the agent was instructed to offer her that sum per annum for the work as Ions as she might live, the painting not to be taken from her until after her death. She Is now b0 years old and still drawing tho $300 a year. Isaac Prrrit AN, inventor of a short-hand system, the juoilce of whose publication was celebrated two j ears ago, has done all bis own printing for 15 years. He was accustomed daring most of that period to go to bis desk at Ga.il and remain till 9 or 10 r. 21. He is now past76 years ot age and is beginning to indulge himself. He begins work at tho usual hour, bnt ceases at 6 r. M, He does not, however, ask any of those In his employ to observe the same hours. The most valuable freak among dime mu seum curiosities is Lucia Zaratc, "the Mexican midget," She has made her father rich. She maintains ber family, takes a maid and in terpreter around the country and draws a sal ary of $700 a week. She receives more than almost any operatic star in the land. She is small enough to make money, but large enougb to enjoy It She insists upon living at the most luxurious hotels, never -rides in anything but a coupe and always eats a handsome sup per washed down by champagne at night THE TOPICAL TALKER. Matinees are Mournful A Peculiar Bear Involuntary Mirrors A Flea far March. It is no wonder tome that the average the atrical star detests playing at matinees. In the abstract it ought to be pleasanter to play be fore an audience made up of women, sweet, sympathetic beings, with souls cleaner and hearts warmer than men can boast Bat It isn't Take yesterday afternoon, at the Bijou Thea ter, for instance. Parquet Inhabited by women, with not more than a score of men for a leaven ing; first gallery filled with women altogether, as far as I could see; a sprinkling of men and boys in the upper gallery. Not a full-ground round ot applause in the house. The women, bless their hearts, were warmly enough disposed towards the "honest Emma" she is very popular with her own sex, as she deserves to be, for a better woman than Emma Abbott does not live but with their tightly gloved hands how could they raise even a tea pot storm of clappingT They had to look after their dresses, their hats and bonnets, and while very likely they oft?n wished for an encore, they never tried to get one. For gloves would burst and bonnets go awry, you know, if they allowed their feelings such expression. V A VERSATILE ACTRESS. Sweet spring, thou art a fickle Jade. We know It to our sorrow-To-day thou art a dancing maid, A tragic queen to-morrow. Hut we're content to see thee play, Fair Nature's youngest mummer; l'erhaps we'll weep when you're away And we perspire In Summer. It was last Sunday. She was returning from church. The service had concluded with the hymn in which is con stantly iterated the line: "The consecrated cross I bear." Beside her walked herdanchter, a little girl of say 6 summers, who had seemed buried in thought from the time the last hymn had been sung. Presently the child looked up with a troubled expression in her eyes, and said: "Mamma, will that cross-eyed bear we sung about eat up good little girls?" The above story, which Is fctrictly true, illus trates the fact that ought to receive more at tention than it does, namely, that hymns and re ligious exercises intended for children cannot be put into too simple and common English. For that matter, to my mind, the most beauti 1 til hymns and the most beautiful prayers are those which convey good thoughts in the clear est and least pretentions language. . Several men and women I have known have had the curious habit of Imitating un consciously a person at whom they are looking. Thus, the other night at the Opera House, I noticed that every movement and facial con tortion of Mr. Florence's face were reflected in the countenance of a lady in the audience. She was not conscious ot the involuntary mirror like motion of her features, but I happen to know that she is aware she possesses the habit Talking of this matter yesterday, another young woman confessed to me that she often found herself imitating the manner of speech of a person with whom she was in conversa tion, and entirely against her will, for she had several times been reminded forcibly that the habit might be considered rudeness unpardon able. How would you account (or this. This same habit recently caused intense an noyance to still another young woman of my acquaintance. She went to a lecture, which was delivered by a very learned man, who bad, however, an exaggerated trick of raising his eyebrows until they obtained seclusion in the scant fringe of hair above his forehead. Hard ly had the lecture commenced until my fair friend's eyebrows began trying their best to copy the maneuver of the lecturer's. The effort was not very successful, but she said, "My eyebrows were aching like anything when that lecturejras over!" . A FLEA FOB MASCU. Yon may tell me that March It a rare month to ob In; "- That dust and damp weather are mixed In Its days; Bat still It has merits, so sings the brave robin. And all of his friends, lit ravishing lays. Bo still let us sing: Life, love and laughter io matter what's alter Awake In the spring I STKANGE COINCIDENCES. Two Peculiar Stories Which Are of Grim Interest to tho Superstltloas.- From the Mew York Epoch.) The following instances may be regarded by the superstitious as a sufficient warning against all jests on such a grim subject as death. It is related by Mr. Bolton, an English actor and author, that the famous tenor Sam Beeves, was once praying the "Squire," in the panto mime of "Old Mother Goose," and at the very moment when he was walking off the stage, singing: 'My wife's dead, there let her lie. She's at rest and so am I;" a man tapped him hurriedly on the shoulder and whispered: "You -must come home di rectly; Mrs. Beeves is dead." Greatlyshocked, Mr. Reeves hurried home and found it but too true. Most impressive coincidences have sometimes occurred in the words of actors in their last ap pearance on the stage. An English actor named Cummins, some 20 years ago, appeared in a play in which it fell to nim to deliver these lines: "Be witness for me, ye celestial hosts: Such mercy and such pardon as my sonl Accords to thee and begs of heaven to show thee, May such befall me at my latest hour." Tho last words had scarcely dropped from his lips when he fell dead on the stage. A LITERARI CLUB. New York Authors, Publishers nnd Artists Form a Social Combine. Special Telegram to The Dispatch. New York, March 23. The publishers of this city have organized a club. It is called the Aldine Club. William W. Appleton is Presi dent: Henry C. Bunner, Vice President; Franlf H. Scott Treasurer, and J. S. Wood, Secretary. Authors and artists as well as publishers are eligible to membership, so William D. Howells Is one of the council. Other writers also belong. Tho resident membership 4s limited to 200 and tho non-resident to 150. The bouse at 20 Lafayette Place has been leased for a term of years, and it will be ready for occupancy on April 1, the day of the club's inauguration. CLEVELAND'S LOG CABIN Again to be Occupied by the Ex-President nnd HI Wife. Special Telegram to The Dispatch. New .York, March 23. Unless something happens to make them change their minds. Mr. and llrs. Cleveland will go to the Adiron dack's early in the summer and again take pos session ot the log cabin on the OpperSaranac lake, which they occupied the first year they were married. Hero'there is fishing for Mr. Cleveland and lovely scenery and pure .air for Mrs. C, and mosquitoes for both. An Innovation In the Theater. Special Tclcjrram to The Dispatch. New York, March 23. A reading room has been fitted up under the stage of the Academy ot Music for the use of scene shifters and stage hands jjvho are employed tor tbe presentation of "The Old Homestead." The work of hand ling the stage has been reduced to a minimum, so that employes will have lots of time to avail themselves of the advantages of the room, which is to be supplied with books as well as newspapers and magazines. Easy to Jndtre His Occupation. From the liorrlstown Herald. 1 A Baltimore man asks: "What will keep me from going to sleep?" Why doesn't he resign from the police force? DEATHS OP A DAY. D. Tj. Chambers. GREEXSBURO, March S3. About 8 o'clock last ecnlng, while D. L. Chambers, of Latrobe, was seated In a chair conerslng with his wife, he was stricken with rheumatism of tbe heart and died almost instantly. Mr. Chambers was one of the wealthiest and most prominent citizens of that place. He was the prosecntor in the Chamber's mill-burning case that comes np In our courts In May. Jle was about S3 j ears old. The funeral will take place on Monday at 10 o'clock. AE0DT INFECTIOUS GEKM8. Uncleanllness I the Great Factor in Spread Ins: Diseases, From the Sanitary Era. Nine-tenths of all diseases, if not all, are caused by specific Ioworganlsms. Among those which we have already isolated distinctly are the bacillus of consumption, typhoid fever, yellow fever, lock-jaw, pneumonia, cholera, dysentery, plague, etc. There is a great differ ence between these different bacilli. Just as there is between large animals. A fence which will be perfectly safe against cattle may prove of no account against dogs; and where cattle may gow we inayno be able to raise ele phants. Similar differences exist also between those bacilli. All ot these germs of diseases require moist ure for their plantation and growth. They are not killed by dryness; they only do not develop. A well-authenticated case is on record where the plague, which we have now hardly any reason to doubt is caused by a bacillus, broke out in a town In Germany 200 years after the last plague hadbeen there and-wbilo no cases of plague were within 1,000 miles after the tearing down of an old house, in the masonry of which a mummy was found that had been cemented in. From records it was evidently the corpse of a person who had died 200 years ago of the plague. This shows the wonderful tenacity of these microbes. The whole medical science has been revolutionized by their discovery. Uncleanllness is now much better under stood as being the factor In spreading diseases. Vlrchow examined the nails of school children, and underneath those nails he found, with particles of dirt, eggs of all the intestinal parasitical worms and bacilli, which, of course, would be eaten by the children with their daily bread. Politeness and proper deportment will be recognized as factors in the prevention of dis eases. Children who are taught early to hold their hands or pocket handkerchiefs to their mouths when coughing, yawning or sneezing, and to keep their mouths sunt, are thus taught a simple hygenic preventive measure. Spitting on the floor allows tbe germs of pneumonia, consumption and bronchial catarrh to be in "baled by others, and it is very proper that com mon politeness slioula prevent such an indirect form of assault and battery. A STKANGE AFEICAN STOET. How the Discovery ol a New River Was Conpled With an Unusual Tragedy. From the .New York Sun. The report from Africa that Lieutenant Clero of the French navy, has been tbe first to visit the. headwaters ot the Cassini river calls to mind one of the strangest stories of African exploration ever written. In 1855 the French merchants in Senegambia became aware that the coast towns were being flooded with spuri ous 6;frane silver coins bearing tho effigy of Louis Philippe. It conld not be found that these coins came from Europe, and it was soon evident that they originated somewhere down the coast. Finally -some natives were found who said they received the coins in exchange for ivory from two white men who had a trad ing post on the Cassini river. Nobody had ever heard of the Cassini river, and Lieutenant Wal lon, now an Admiral in the French navy, was sent with a small expedition to find the mys terious stream which was reputed to be the sonrce of the counterfeit silver. The party coasted for 200 miles south, enter ing many an Inlet on the way. and at last they came to that complicated system of water ways known as the Rivers of the South. One of these rivers tbe natives called the Cassini, and the travelers at once ascended it Not many miles from the mouth they saw some large huts, and two white men presently ap peared to see who was approaching their re treat As the boat party was landing tbe white men, gathering a few things from the huts, started to run away. They were pursued, but were not taken alive. The two criminals ended their remarkable enterprise by shooting them selves dead. Tbe discovery of a new river had been couDled with a stranee tracedv. A counterfeiting outfit was found in the. uufcs. lucaauica uau leit one ai me iraaing posts with a deliberate purpose of burying themselves in an unknown region and making a snug little pile in the counterfeiting busi ness. They bought ivory of the natives with their spurious coin and sent it up the coast for shipment to Europe. NO DUTIE8 TO BE PAID. Manufacturers Can Send Exhibits to Paris Free of Customs Charges. Washington, March 23. Secretary Win dom' has; issued the following instructions to customs officers in regard to the Paris Exposi tion. Manufacturers' articles or wares, produced or manufactured In the Tjnitcd States, which may he sent to the l'arls Exposition or 1889 for exhibition, will, upon their return to the United States, be admitted to free entry upon compliance with the following reqnlreintuts: Thatistosay, shippers, at the time and port of exportation, shall file a manifest showing the marks and numbers or the packages, together with an Invoice or statement specifying the contents of such packages (which documents may. if the shippers so desire, be fitted by Mr. S. 1'. Tnckcr, Assistant Commissioner General of such exhibition, whose office is at Ho. 1 Broadway, and who wilt act as their agent for such purpose), and shall, npon return or the packages, produce certlncates, either from the director or other proper officer of the said I'aris Exhibition, duly authenticated by a United States Minister or Consular officer, or by a state ment of the consignees at the loreign port from which the re-lmportatlons may be made, certi fied by a proper officer of that port and required by department's circular of March 31, 1336, which documents shall fully Identify the goods. i'alntlngs and other works of art the produc tion of lorelgn schools of art, which may be now owned in this country by residents or the United States, and which maybe loaned to the French Department ot Fine Arts or said exhibition for exhibition, will also, upon their return to the United btates, be exempted from the payment of duty upon their Identity being established in the manner hereinbefore described. Great Men Welcomed to America. Special Telegram to Tbe Dispatch. New York, March 23. Herr V on Bulow, the great musician, was among the passengers on the Saale, which brought back the baseballist John M. Ward to his native land, this morn ing. A crowd of musicians welcomed him just as a crowd of baseball players and lovers of the national game welcomed Ward. There's No Foundation for It. From the Albany Journal. It Is confidently asserted, but probably un true, that the "All-Americas" batted a ball into the London fog so hard that it stuck fast and did not fall until tho fog lifted. Chicago's Only Chance. From the Albany Journal. A man engaged in the great freight frauds at Chicago died of shame. Chicago will miss her chance if that man does not get a monu ment She Will Not be Forgotten. From the Minneapolis Tribune. Statistics show that an American family is in size 4.13. This 13-100 is, we suppose, tho hus band's wife's mother. CAUGHT ON THE GEIP LINE. She gave me a kiss, it was the first, And my heart it leaped with joy, For then I knew that I nad won, A maiden sweet and coy. She said: "Iloveyou verymucb," And my heart took another leap, But Just then I awakened, and found I'd dreamed; This whole thing while asleep. Tosfinr Wanamaker Mamma, now that ! papa owns the postoffice, we can send our letters for nothing. Won't haye to stamp any of them. Mamma Oh, that will be lovely. T.W. And mamma, 1 gnesswhen papa stays out late at night with his Sunday-school class. It won't even be necessary for you to stamp your foot the next morning, when you go for him. John, See (a) New (man) is to be Consul "General nt London. Vandy I see some enterprising firm are giving a picture and a bottle ot cachous with every box of cigarettes. Zandy Now let them add a good cigar and there will be some temptation to buy. What does it proflteth a man if he pay S3 to have his application for a license filed, and then be dropped In the soup. Arby I understand Stage, Yale's crack pitcher. Is to be a minister. Goat Well, he should make a dandy, forhebas two great requisites. Arby A-nd what are Ihcy? Goat He has a good delivery and makes few errors. "March comes in like a lion, and goes out llfcoalamb." Bnt this year 'twill bo the reverse. Mow don't contradict me, I've got to fill up? And all I can think of 's this verse. C. 8. C 0LIYE LOGAN'S LETTER. . t Changes In Social Life at the Capital Fat Women In Fnshlon A Now Occupation for Ladles Teaching the Art of Conver sation Mrs. Mnlaprop's Remarkable Linguistic Feats. rcoBRESrosniiTciEor THE DISPATCH, j Washington, March 23. An English gen tleman of high position, who was here at in auguration ttme,.said to me: "To change the Government of a great country, without the slightest friction, in this way is somethlngmore than astonishing It is marvelous." As with the political, so is it with the social world. Great leaders are socially dead long live great leaders! The wonderful Whitney regime is over, that of the house of Morton is soon to be established. It only requires about half a dozen great "entertainers" to sustain the character for splendid hospitality of an administration. Croesus was scarcely more numerous than that during the Cleveland epoch. Everybody, great and small, "enter tained," true. AVashington. in every quarter, was at home on a certain day each week, and to use tbe conventional phrase, Mrs. Three Stars "was assisted in receiving" by the Misses Blank, while the Misses Full "poured tea." This high sounding announcement in avast majority of cases, chronicled social amenities which occurred in very modest residences, sometimes In hotels, and occasionally even in boarding bouses. Let me not be understood to imply that tins was a special feature of Cleve land's time. Modest entertaining has always been in vogue in Washington; it is one of tbe greatest attractions of this most delightful capital. There is everv reason to suppose that the festivities during Harrison's tenure of of fice will equal If not surpass those of Cleve land's. There are many enormously rich men in the Cabinet and m tbe Senate; gay parties will be uncountable among persons of modest means; and over all will shine the refulgency of the peerless Morton househould. Stout Women May Take Heart. Peerless, because of tbe Vice President's wealth, the charming affability of his wife, the interest attaching to his family of five daughters, one of whom will soon make her social debut So many delightful things have been written about Mrs. Morton that one scarcely knows how to add to their number; all of them are true. Permit me to say a word or two, quite specially, to those of your fem inine readers who may be inclined to stout ness, if, indeed, you number any of these hith erto despised ladles among your clientage. Ah, sisters! the moment ot our revenge has at length arrived. Have you ever noticed that nothing was ever written of as being becoming to stout women? Every fashion that came out was only designed "for slender and graceful women;" "stout women," we were instructed, "should carefully avoid wearing this." The pencil of the caricaturist was never idle, ex aggerating our proportions, and showing what an absurd figure we cut in every individual hat or garment that was in vogue, no matter what its shape or style. But soon we shall change all this. Ai, ha! Mrs. Morton, dear ladles, is no skeleton. She has a lovely embonpoint, a stately enougbness that casts your "slender, graceful" person quite In the shade. With the Queen of Fashion as our exemplar we can langh to scorn the slings and arrows of out rageous thin people. So therel Shakespeare we can quote to advantage, too. Let who so will revel in his thinness, we can point to gen tle Will's scathing definition of "one Pinch a hungry, lean-faced villain. A mere anatomy." Revenge is ours, dear ladles; long delayed, but come at last New Work for Women. I hear of a new avocation for women. To pursue it successfully the woman must be ex ceedingly bright, intellectually speaking, and she must bo located in Washington. She is a conversation instructress. Her title fully ex plains ber business. The neophyte to fashion's faith, newly arrived in Washington, feels anxious to know what to say to the distin guished personages in whose company she is soon to be known. Even more important is it that she should be informed what not to say. Washington's list of "things which had been better left unsaid" exceeds in length the no table one possessed by Dumaurier, and it is re ceiving extensive additions every blessed day. Two well-known elderly ladles of great wealth who " receive " magnificently, are re spectively dubbed Mrs. Malaprop, Number One, Number Two. A fresh bon mot from either, eiven off with the delicious irresponsi bility of ignorance, is enough to amuse VV'ash- mgton ior a wees;, ana circulates everywnere, from the gravest Secretary in bis Cabinet to tbe jokiest clerk at his desk in a department Some of these lingnistle misappropriations are so astonishing that one finds them difficult to understand. For instance, one of the Mistress Malaprops has been saying that while cutting off meat from her dietary during Lent she eats a great many 'Tufiles." She just dotes on ruffles;" she has eaten as many as a dozen "ruffles" for breakfast. Visions of masticated dress trimmings or old-fashioned shirt fronts float indistinctly before tbe hearer's hazy mind's eye: nor can he for tbe life of him un derstand the process of eating ruffles. Oh! you say, tbe poor woman meant truffles. No, the poor woman did not; she meant waffles, those small, thin cakes baked on coals in an iron utensil. Mrs. Lolly's Enigmatic Talk. Ismet Mrs. Lofty yesterday. She is the widow of the ex-Senator, you remember, a rich Woman, miraculously stylish, who elects to make Washington her home. Her conversa tionwhen she finds it to her good pleasure to address a few words to groveling humanity at large is occasionally condescending, but oftener rightly disdainful. I was recently the honored recipient of a few of her periods. She said that what was most particularly observa ble in men who came from New England and the West was their entire lack of plstache. Money they might have, and even local esteem; but once they struck Washington their fatal deficiency in pistache branded them unmistak ably; and irretrievably, so to speak, cooked their goose. I floundered, during tbe entire conversation, in a morass of wonderment con cerning tbe purport of her speech; but finally, by an ingenious scheme of reasoning by analogy I made the triumphant discovery that when Mrs. Lofty said "pistache" she meant 'prestige." Lapsus Lingua: Rectified. Trifling errors of this sort it is the province of the conversation instructress to correct Indeed, tbe scope of her duties is extensive, beginning with the fundamental rules of En glish grammer, thence through the mazes of Iexigrapby, and so on to the divine art of con versation upon which the late Bronson Alcott was wont to lecture to admiring hearers. Con ceding by anticipation the teacher diligent the pupils apt who knows bnt that the now lost art of holding salons may be revived in Wash ington? The soil is well suited to the growth. Here the sordid cares of business can never intrude. The occupation of male visitors is of a kind in which the nations at large are inter ested. The men at Washington are engaged in conducting a Government In worldly affairs there is no grander work. Women are com petent to be literary, artistic, or to shine by their surpassing beauty, as did Mesdames Tallien and Recamler: or they may be witty in comparably as were Mesdames de Stael and de Sevigne. ' A Want of Washington. These examples, lightly culled from different epochs, show how prolific France has been in furnishing materials for salons. Washington has the necessary requirements for many a Hotel de Ranibonillet She bas great men, beautiful women; superb residences, enormous wealth; nevertheless there is room for the modest conversation instructress. She may not be able to impart to her pupils the literary ability of Mademoiselle de Sender!; but she can do her utmost to prevent the well known disaster to Mrs. Malaprop, of whom it is wont to be said that whenever she opens ber mouth she puts her foot in it Olive Looa. CORNISH LULLABY. x Out on the mountain oTer the town, All night long, aU nlgbt long, The trolls go np and the trolls go down. Bearing their packs and crooning a song; And this Is the song the hill folk croon. As they trndge in the light of the misty moon "Gold, goldl ever more gold Bright red gold for dearie!" Deen. In the hill tbe yeoman delves, AU night long, all night long: None hut the peering, furtive elves See his toll and hear his song; Merrily over the cavern rings As merrily ever his pick he swings. And merrily ever this song he slugs: "Gold, gold! ever more gold - Bright red gold for dearie!" Mother Is rocking thy lowly bed All night long, all night long Happy to smo6:h thy curly head And to bold thy band and to sing her song; 'Tls no: of the hill folk, dwarfed and old. Nor the song of the yeoman, stanch and bold, And tbe burthen It beareth is not of gold; But It's "Love, love-nothing bnt lovo Mother's love for dearie!" Nugent tttUS, in tne Chicago Sties. C0EBID0R QC-SSIP. A Strnlght-Ont Voter A Man Who TeB a Good Story Something About Oleo margarine nnd Batter A Doable Taxa tion. rOOX A STAJT COnnXSFOXDXXT.I Harrisbdro. March 23. Representative F. W. Hays is one of the few men who never d odge a vote. "I don't like to vote against any man's bill," be said, "but I must do it some times. That's why I voted against Campbell's bill to put a tax, on alien laborers. Mr. Camp--bell is a nice man, but I couldn't conscien tiously vote for his measure, and I didn't That's why someone up near me wanted to know whether or not I was an American. X think I am too good an American to vote for a bill like that Just think what it will do! Why, the title of It ought to be changed to read: 'An act to promote crime and fill the almshouses.' That's what It will accomplish. Its intention, of course, is to prevent the employ of alien labor, and these people are not going to stop living just because the bill Is passed. If they don't stop living and can't get employment the otter quickly follows." Tbe Boss Story Teller. Tom Kilrow, of tbe Senate transcribing room. Is the boss story teller of the Legisla ture. He lives at Great Bend, Susquehanna county, and has a reputation as a narrator of facts that spreads far beyond the boundaries of the shrievalty. It Is 'said that he is either subpoenaed as a witness or drawn as a juror at every term of court, simply on the strength of his reputation in this line. When he doesn't appear promptly in answer to his citation tbe Judge of tbe court always Issues a bench war rant for him. s They Haven't Caught Up. It takes some people of Pennsylvania a long time to learn about a change of officials at the State capital. Tbe Department of Internal Affairs frequently receives letters addressed to J. Simpson Africa, and letters to Aaron Dnnkel come often. Most curious, though, is the fact that within a year and a half two let ters have been received addressed to Daniel Brodhead. who was Surveyor General of Penn sylvania almost 100 years ago. Tricks In All Trades. Once in a while we inadvertently learn what is mixed with our victuals. Representative Roblson's bill develops this with regard to but ter. Freauently when we think we are buying butter we don't get it unmixed, even if we don't get oleomargarine. The Roblson bill, by pro hibiting their use, shows that there is often mixed with bad butter to purify it snch chemi cals as borax, boric acid, boraclc acid, salicylic acid, biborate of soda, tartaric acid, saleratus, alum, saltpetre, nitrate of potassium, bicarbon ate of soda, hypochloride of soda, salicylate of soda, sulphate of potassium, phosphoric acid, bromo cnioralum, sulphuric acid, nitric acid, caustic soda, potash, sulphate of lime, sulphate of alumina, hydnc borate, sodic dlborate and glacialine. . A Good Measure. A. M. Watson, of Pittsburg, spent a consider able portion of last week here. He has hope yet that he may knock out the oleomargarine prohibitory law, tint it is fast a vanishing hope. Mr. Watson was asked whether he wasn't really here in the interest of Representative Roblson's butter bill, and reclled that he wasn't but that he considered it a very good bill. This measure is before tbe Committee on Health and Sanitation, and one of tbe mem beis said be hoped it would pass. "It is in a line," be said, "with the antl-olpomargarlne law. The latter, bars out bogus bntter; this bill bars out tbe bad article." A Lous Way to Church. A great many members of the Legislature go to Philadelphia each Friday afternoon or Sat urday morning for the purpose of being able to attend church there each Sunday. Harrisburg consequently is a quiet place on the Sabbath day. Wants Good Fishing. Speaker Boyer is an authority on hunting and fishing, and talks learnedly, at times, to In terested groups concerning the various kinds of game fishes of American and Canadian waters, of rods, lines, flies and the various de vices well known and dear to the angler's heart He says the Fish Commission is doing good work and is in favor of their recommen dations of fish ways for dams, and of their work in general for the distribution and propa gation of the finny tribe. Favors the Amendment. The Auditor General is in favor of the amendment proposed by Hon. J. M. Dickey, of the Franklin Natural Gas Company, to the general revenue bill. This amendment is to meet the case of companies that pay a per centage ot their gross receipts to other gas companies for their supply of gas. Each com pany, of course. Is expected to pay tbe eight mill tax on its gross receipts, and under the bill as it stands, tbe money paid by the consumer, or a part of it would be taxed double, or 16 mills. Tbe Auditor Gen eral is decidedly opposed to Dr. Neil's amend ment made to tbe bill In the House, which provides that a man shall receive credit on the books of tbe assessor for money owed by him in taking account of the money he has at in terest Wouldn't be Bluffed. Daring the debate on tbe liquor license mat ters on Friday, Representative Fow, of Phila delphia, referring to the Brooks high license bill, called it "the Vail bill introduced by the gentleman from Philadelphia." Mr. Vail Is the Law and Order officer of Philadelphia, and Mr. Brooks replied that Mr. Vail knew a good thing when he saw it Srapsoir. A New York Burglar In Pickle. From the Detroit Free Press. A New York burglar got into a genuine pickle the other day. Officers discovered that some one was feloniously at work in a butcher shop, but after they bad entered could not find the man until they looked in a pork barrel, where they discovered him up to hte neck in brine. Stitching Glory. From tbe London Court Journal. 1 A Midland county general,on his return from Egypt showed his family a regimental flag all tattered and torn and riddled with bullets, which ho bad captured from tbe enemy with his own hands. It now looks nearly as good as new. The careful housekeeper sat up all night and mended it SOME CHOICE ADS. Wasted, a guillotine In good working order. Address Mfa Qny, Postal Department Wash mgton. For adoption, two orphan children, whose parents, for a consideration, will relinquish all claim over them. If John Jones, who 20 years ago deserted his poor wife and innocent babe, will return, said babe will lick the stuffln' out of him. Wasted, a few cowboys, actors, and poets to sell our magic hair restorer. Bald-beaded men, unless they wear wigs, need not apply. A chap who has just completed a term in Sing Sing for attacking a defenseless woman would like to get a job as dramatic critic on a St Louis paper. Chicago friends I have arrived In New York safely. Mf position dnring tho past year as a member of the Chicago detective force, which necessitated tbe preservation of a strict incognito, made my life there Irksome to me. hence my resignation. M. B. Tascott. If the undutif ul wife, who after swearing to love, honor and obey her husband, left his bed and board a week ago, will return at once she will be allowed in future 'to retain for use of herself and children one-fourth of all money she earns by washing and sewing. A GESTLEirAS who has recently become connected with tbe United States Navy, act ing upon the advice of a superior oQrer, will engage a competent teacher who can Instruct him in the art of casting an anchor to wind ward and other nautical duties. Address, B. F. T. A Chicago-born gentleman of considerable culture, employed In tbe mortality department of a great Hoboken pork factory, finding him self unable to exist away from the refining in fluences which an atmosphere saturated with Browning and Coouelln naturally exerts, de- .slres to purchase a cheap scalpers' ticket on which he can return to his native city. A middle-aged veteran who served in sev eral ol tbe bloodiest campaigns of the lata war as a sutler, being now disabled through an old wound received by a piece of pie sold to a vicious comrade striking him in tbe jaw, ap peals to eveiy member of the G. A. R. to sub scribe $5 to a fund be has started, the pro ceeds of which will be devoted to his mainte nance the rest of hisllfe. AUfromJfew York Sun. CUI10US COIOIEIMTIOSSr f Mystic, Conn., boasts of & singing rat, Brazil has a prohibitory tariff on band organs and monkeys. In France experiments are being made with cork car springs. 'A hat measuring inches has just been finished by a firm in Bethel, Conn. It 1 for a Chicago man. A hard-up Georgian endeavpred to raise money at Americas the other day by mortgaging a 23-year-old mule. The Dacca Shakti an Indian paper avers that there is Irving at Barnda.n'ear Dacca a Yogi who is more than 150 years old. He ig strong and able-bodied. He-talks with alt A ne?o at Daytona, Fla., went to sleep last week with a half-dollar in his month, and swallowed it and it came near choking him to deatb before it could be poked down his throat About 3,000 brakes have been invented ind patented. One of the latest is described as beautifully simple in Its working. Push a button and the brakes are set on the entire train. t A Chicago man went into a bookstore the other day to buy a copy of "Ben She," and got mad when he was told there was no such ook. It was learned afterward that he meant "Ben Hut." Among some old papers jn Xondon, recently, a genuine likeness of John Banyan as he appeared in his prison cell at Bedford haa just been discovered, for which the owner de mands 1,000 guineas. Detroit, Mich., is about to undertake flower show, and some citizens of Florida pur pose sending there gratis a carload of choicest blossoms in token of gratitude for Northern help in their time of fever trouble. A peculiar accident happened to Wm. Fisher, a Lima, O., youth. He was standing under a street lamp, when the glass broke. He looked npward to see what was the matter, when a large fragment of glass hit him in tho eye, cutting the ball nearly In two. A little boy who lives at Sparta, Ga., met with a singular accident In running after a robin he stepped on some object which gave his foot a sudden twist This caused the bone in his leg to split from the consequences of which he has suffered very much. It was some time before the cause of his troubles was found out The fine compact sand which gives suck firm footing upon the beach of Anastasia, Fla., is scarcely half an inch in depth. Below it lies a bed of loose, broken sheik Under the microscope a pinch of this debns from tbe ocean bottom is transformed into a myriad of grottoes, towers, and minarets, built of glitter ing crystals'and gems of every hue. J. Odom, while firing the woods near Reldsville, Ga.. recently, found a rattlesnake over five feet long near a gopher bole. He sent his boys to bring bis gun while he kept the snake away from the hole. In the mean time another rattler of about tbe same size appeared and entered the hole. He shot the first and procured assistance and dug out and killed the second. In the largest jewelry shops in New York, where $3,000 worth of gold is used a day, the gold is not weighed out to the workmen, and nothing but tbe honesty of the employes prevents loss. But while the gold is allowed to be thus exposed, tobacco bas to be locked up because it bas been fonnd that the man who would not steal a grain of his employer's gold, would not hesitate to appropriate his neighbor's tobacco. The chair back has gone through almost as many evolutionary stages as the animal kingdom itself. Originally designecfas a pro tection from sadden attacks in the rear. It became, from protecting even the bead of tbe house, reserved for those holding tbe highest rank in households or courts. When the long white wig came into use the chair back bad to be sacrificed to tbe exigencies of fashion, since which time its significance has been lost Among the hereditary jewels belonging to the Duke of Cumberland are Queen Char lotte's pearls valued at $730,000, and about which, for 20 years. Queen Victoria ana the Hanoverian King quarreled with majesterial dignity. Tbe Queen maintained tbey belonged by right to England. The King insisted they should have been sent to Hanover in 1S37 on the death of William IV. The other jewels belonging to the Duke are valued at 2,000,000. His gold and siver plate weigh 12 tons. There are at present some 2,000 women employed in drag stores throughout tbe coun try. When tbe Woman's School of Pharmacy was first organized at Louisville there were but two women encaged in the business, and both of these were In tbe laboratory of one of the professors. During the last term more appli cations for graduates to fill responsible posl-' tlons in drug stores or laboratories of manufac turing chemists have been received at the Louisville school than the total number which the school has graduated since its commence ment. In the Elberton (6a.) fire John Bailey lost over $1,400, including two $500 bills. Mr. Bailey collected the charred fragments and ashes of this money and sent them to the United States Treasury. Last week he re ceived a check from the Government for $920. with a statement that if he wonld make an affidavit to bis possession of tbe unredeemed $500 bill that it could also be paid. He is happy over the recovery of goods that be once sup posed lost beyond redemption. The night of the fire he offered his interest in this money for 500. A Carnesville (Ga.) writer says: "I heard a truthful, religious old lady say that when she was a little girl she was sent to pick cornstalks with a child of a reputed witch. Growing weary of the work, the child of the witch mother pro posed to collect tbe stalks without further labor. A few minutes later tbe wind began to rise, furious whirlwinds made their appearance in different parts of the field, the stalks were lifted In the air and were being rapidly whirled into large heaps here and there over the field when my informant, becoming very much, frightened, begged that it might be stopped. The witch child waved ner arms, the wind sub sided and tbe stalks were left in their disar ranged condition. An old Dutch doctor named Starfle Set. zer, who lived in Franklin county. Ga was the subject of a strange visitation. His house was situated about half a mile from tbe graveyard, out of which a brilliant light would rise night after night and passing over the tree tops set tle over his house and remain stationary for a time, when it would again rise above the trees and sweep tbrongh tbe air in tbe direction from wbence it came and sink into the earth at tbe graveyard. On the night of Setzers death It shone more brilliantly than ever before it hovered over tbe bouse for a long time, and as the dying man drew his last breath it arose in the air. and. like a flaming meteor, moved swiftly to tbe graveyard, sunt into the earth and was never seen again. There are many who witnessed this strange phenomena and saw the blazing specter on the very night that old Dutch doctor died. TIMELY TOPICS. Fond Mother. You must remember. Era-. ellne, that line feathers don't make a fine bird. Daughter-True, Mamma, but they do make awfully pretty hats. She Asked Too Much. Mr. Smith M-m-mlss jn-s-sle I-1-l-l-love you. Hsle-Oh, Charlie, say It again. Mr. Smith I-c-c-c-can't Belying His "Words. Jones (blowing H clond of smoke Into the air) I'm very fond of a good eljrar. Mrs. Jones Then for gracious sakes get one. Swellboy (to tailor.) Look here; there isj only one check on this pair of trousers. Tailor Yes, only one check on the trousers, but . yon see I've put another whole one In the coat. 1 Offensive Partisans in Office. Postage j Stamp (to mailbag) Bump Into me again and I'll . j knock the stalling out of you. ' MaUbag-Try It and you'll get the worst licking yon ever had, you stnek-up thing! Honesty the Best Policy. Fleecy (to milkman I s'pose yon have bard work nowadays In (retting to town with the roads sU frozen np. MUkman-Ah! Bnt that Isn't the worst or It Mr. Fleecy. The pump freezes worse than the roads do. The Eight Number. In the accounts of the marriage or the Emperor of China, said Mrs. McCxackle, "1 see tnat bis household comprises seven cooks and 30 physicians." That's about the right proportion," said Mr. McCraekle. . '' - A Horrible Fate. Applicant You say a terrible fate awaits me. Don't be afraid to tell me what It is. $H. Astrologer-Brace yourself; young man; the stars say you will wed a lady who has a passion for grand opera. 'If t Sufficient Grievance. MagistrateWhat reason had you for abusing the prisoner In this manner? l'rlsoner-He called me a pig - "- - That wasn't sufficient cause." swe -j 'You Interrupted me, your Honor.'Hecallcd me a IMgott. JJow, as I am only,aneordlnary Hsr-" . ,&,"- "1 wouldn't haTB put npwlth'lt'mvssir. loo are dumuseu." jiujrom jmm.z