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THE . HTTSBUBQ XtfSPATOHT SUNDAY,-' MATtOH . 24. 1889.
Attacked by Gail Hamilton and Its
Inconsistencies Pointed Out.
THE SO-CALLED KEW THEOLOGY,
Is Promulgated by Sirs. Humphrey Ward,
Tronounced an Absurdity.
IN COSFLICT WITH CHRIST'S TEACHING
imiuuo roB thb DiErATCn.1
VEEY human sonl in
which the. voice of
God makes itself felt
enjoys, equally With
Jesus of Nazareth, the
This statement or
formula which seems
to Mrs. Humphrey
"Ward utterly, sub
versive of the Chris
tian religion is in
truth the very soul of
the Christian religion.
It means something or
it means nothing. The something meaning
is that which lifts man to the level of Christ.
The nothing meaning is that which lowers
Christ to the level of man. This is the
meaning which Mrs. "Ward's representative
Church of England rector is made to assume,
which plunges him into tribulation, and
from which he spends what remains to him
of life in trying, to get away. It is the
nothing meaning. It leads to and it is ab
surdity. Jesus Christ, he says, with the utmost
gentleness to his wife and with entire cour
tesy to Jesus Christ, is only a great man.
This is the final outcome of his long, sharp
struggle, and he immediately assumes to
ward Christ an attitnde which, if Christ
were indeed only a great man, wonld be
simply maudlin. Oneoftherulesof the Chris
tian brotherhood which .Mrs. Ward founds on
a recoil from the Godhood of Christ, is that
every meeting, every undertaking of what
ever kind shall open with tne special word
or formula of the brotherhood, "This do in
remembrance of me."
There is no objection to this custom on
the old orthodox idea of Jesus, the Christ,if
one finds in it a help to right living. But
it is futile and grotesque as an attempt to
trick out a mere Jewish peasant in the
heavenly robes of a discarded Divinity.
Mrs. 'Ward will have Jesus of Nazareth a
mere man, but she cannot leave Him to take
His chances beside othergreat men.
"We have as good men in our own day
and country as the world has ever seen, but
no man ever spreads his hands over conse
crated bread before the people, and says
with reverent lips, "This do in remem
brance of Lincoln." "When the sermon is
ended and the prayer offered, no congrega
tion is ever dismissed with the benediction,
"Go in peace, in the love of God, and in the
memory of his servant George Washing
ton." The very suggestion seems like
mockery, irreverence. One feels a moral
Do I seem to take undue advantage of
the word equally? Do I seem to give scant
and refuse to give saving attention to the
explanation in which Mrs. Ward qualifies
ber statement, by making her agnosticized
rector declare to his wile that "God was in
Jesus pre-eminently?" No; for he imme
diately adds, "as He is in all great men."
".Not otherwise not otherwise in kind
than He is in me or you." The doctrine is
put forth as if it were the momentous mod
ern conclusion of a serried host of argu
ments. It is placed upon the stage with the
usual accessories low groans, moans of
pity and misery, a great deal of deadly pal
lor, piteou6 cold fingers, .stupefaction and
stun, yearning, sunken eyes, shivering and
passionate hand-kissing, hollow cheeks,
feverish, quick, uneven breaths, rigidity of
silence and rigidity of self-control alter
nating with tumultuous speech, vibrating
protests of passionate faith ringing infer
entially even when not ringing audibly,
gults which never could be bridged, fright
ful separateness of experience, broken
words of fire and pain, night of struggle
and spiritual wreck, haggard changes in
'he beautiiul set stern mouth in all of
which the one note of nature is that "infi
nitely more terrible than His actual words
was the accent to nning through words and
tone and gesture."
It is much lor so spasmodic a philosopher
to confess that thematterof her great revela
tion was far more sane and sound than the
manner. Nothing certainly in the con
soling and sustaining Scriptural assurance
of divine kinship requires the spiritual con
tortions and bodily convulsions which prop
erly enough threw the sensible orthodox
wile into a fainting fit Mrs. "Ward's posi
tion is not changed by her not only admit
ting Christ to be a great man, but proclaim
ing Him to be the greatest man.
THE CHBISTIAX'S VIEW.
It is not changed when she declares Him
to differ from man in degree, though not in
kind. The something meaning overlaps
and absorbs the nothing meaning, and this
terrible communication from husband to
wife left the truth but half told. For what
is true of Christ is true also of God. There
is no difference between God and man ex
cept in degree. "We have the word of the
Bible for all who believe the Bible. "We
have the word ot the savans for all who re
ject the Bible. God made man in His own
image, says the Genesis, and those who, like
Mrs. "Ward, have but a pitying scorn lor us
who "still regard the first chapter of Genesis
as a valid and important counter on the
board of tnonght" may read their Genesis
out of Herbert Spencer:
"The power manifested throughout the
universe distinguished as material, is the
same power which in ourselves wells up
under the form of consciousness. The power
which manifests 'itself in consciousness, is
but a differently conditioned form of the
power which manifests itself beyond con
sciousness." The Genesis of Moses and the Genesis of
Science agree that the power which created
man is the same in kind as man himself. It
is a scientific confirmation of the Bible
Genesis which, if one must go mad, one
might go mad with joy over; and none more
quickly than he who, reared in the
old Orthodoxy, accepting its truths,
loving its Spirit, emulating its self
training, yet cannot adopt the tra
ditions and impossibilities which 'have
accumulated to its hiding. If it be not
truth, it is vet to be explained how the ear.
liest glimmer ofthe light npon the nature of
man siiouia snine Harmoniously with the
latest gleam of the light which science has so
ardently and industriously kindled.
JIBS. TVABD'S EBBOB.
If it be not truth, it is certainly a wonder
ful culmination to the proving of error that
the oneness of humanity with Divinity,
vaguely and variously hinted at in many
ways by many philosophers through many
ages apparently demonstrated by science in
these later times, should conform so exactly
with the sages, the word incarnate in
Christ, outbreathed by Him as light and
immortality brought to light; good tidings
of great joy communicated to His followers
by the thousand-fold touch of personal as
sociation, and by them preached to the
world through doctrine and enthnsiasm and
martyrdom that humanity partakes of the
Divine natures; that man alone of all cre
ated beings is in the image of God. He
took not upon Himself the form of beasts;
he took upon Himself the form of man,
thereby consecrating and certifying human
ity ai the image of God.
This oneness of humanity with God Mri.
ward must have entirely forgotten when
she made the oneness of humanity with
Cnnrticnicislpoiiif, an agonizing truth,
the crisis of intense and even destructive
epintual struggle. The trouble is that her
ideal truth-seeker is not, as she fancies,, at
the mercy of truth or of thought, but of
words. He does not think them out far
enough or deep enough to see that a quanti
tative difference may, by reason of intensi
ty and immensity, become a qualitative
difference. God "is in the beast, the same
God that is in man, yet so differently in
degree that the beast is classified popularly
and practically as different in kind from
"We cannot mark the boundary line, but
we never fail to recognize it. Theoretically,
it is elusive. Practically, it is insurmount
able. Science amuses herself with detail
ing our oneness with the beast, but no Hux
ley makes a contract with his horse. John
Bright never asked that sheep should have
the ballot. Matthew Arnold did not urge
an intermediate school for elephants. The
most strenuous evolutionist is at one with
the most bigoted of Pietists in treating
talking animals as on an entirely different
plane from dumb animals.
WHAT GOD TEACHES.
In and out of the Bible God speaks to us
in terms of humanity as needs must, leaving
thus to human reaso'n wide scope for exer
cise as also needs must. God is represented
as our Father, Christ as our elder brother.
In this world, the son often becomes a
greater man than the father. The younger
brother often outstrips the elder in wisdom
and stature, in favor with God and man.
We do not on thataccount suppose ourselves
to be greater than God. We need not on
that account suppose ourselves to be equal
with Christ. What we may learn from it is
that we partake of, we share in, the Divine
I believe and maintain that the world has
never seen better men than those whom we
know and honor, "whom we love and live
with; and if the difference between the best
of them and Jesus Christ was not a quanti
tative difference which amounts to a quali
tative difference, Jesus Christ was a very
Mrs. Ward's ideal agnosticized Church
of England rector is a noble, devout
Christian, but he is no thinker. He is ever
at the mercy of words. Unable to get at the
meaning ot the old forms he betakes him
self to new which prove but desiccated
travesty of ihe old; jet thinks he has enun
ciated a new truth. , Thou art the Christ,
the son of the living God, is the rock on
which was built the Church of Christ.
"Jesus of Nazareth become to us by the
evolution of circumstances, the most mov
ing, the most efficacious of all types and
epitomes of God's work in man" is the rock
of the new church. The statement is un
doubtedly true as far as it goes, but is it so
much more adequate and accurate a state
ment that a man should wreck his pastoral
office and his domestic happiness on its pro
duction? It is surely a far less fundamental
ntterance, a far more partial and local asser
tion than the one which it supplants.
TEE AGNOSTICS' AIMS.
"A new social bond, a new compelling
force in man and in society is the modest
goal at which the agnostic aims; 'that
diminution ot the self in man which is to
enable the individual to see the world's ends
clearly, and to care not only for his own but
for his neighbor's interest; to make the rich
devote themselves to the poor and the poor
bear with the rich. If man only would he
could, you say, solve all the problems
which oppress him. It is man's will which
is eternally defective, eternally inadequate.
Without religion you cannot make the will
equal to its tasks. Our present religion
fails us; we must, we will nave another.
With the roar of Jonathan Edwards still
reverberating through New England
theology, Old England's Agnosticism puts
forth its pronnnciamento on the eternal in
adequacy of the will as a fresh discovery.
With the voice of Christ ringing a thousand
changes on the heavenly corrective, Thou
shalt lore thy neighbor as thyself, the votee
of Mrs. Ward clamors for a new compelling
force in man and in society which shall
make a man care not only for his own but
for his neighbor's interest. With thousands
of churches and Young Men's Christian
Associations and all sorts of Societies of
Christian Endeavor, she gathers another
assembly as like as the peas in a pod, and,
because she calls her assembly "The New
Brotherhood of Christ," she imagines that
she is materializing a new religion. The
Agnostic's prayer at his first religious
service of the new brotherhood is "rather an
act of adoration and faith than a prayer
properly so called. It represents, in fact,
the placing of the soul in the presence of
God. It is essentially modern, expressing
the modern spirit answering to modern
THE NEW RELIGION PUBPOSELESS,
But before Mrs. Ward was "born the old
fashioned churches were singing:
Prayer Is the soul's sincere desire,
Uttered or unexpressed;
The motion of a bidden fire
That trembles in the breast.
Prayer is the bnrden of a sigh.
The falling of a tear.
The upward glancing of an eye
When none but God is near.
The old religion fails us and we evolve a
new religion out of our moral consciousness,
and this new leligion, upon examination,
presents not one single person or purpose,
principle or idea which is not borrowed
Irom the old, only so dismantled and de
graded and betiuselled as to seem almost a
Mrs. Ward turns away from the old re
ligion, not because it has failed her, but be
cause she has failed it Its spirit has pene
trated and possessed her heart, but her in
tellect has not yet mastered its philosophy.
She is like one who got .on comfortably
enough with the system of things so 'long as
the earth was the only world in the uni
verse, but wnose mind shrinks and shrivels
before a universe of words. At the very
moment when the grand sweep and scope of
Christianity seems outliuing itself in the
light of day, the light of heaven shining
full upon our dark, revealing it to us as the
heir of all ages, the proof and promise of all
our future, she reverses her field glass and
seei in Christianity only "something small
and local." Gail Hamilton.
WHEKE THE HOSES BLOOM.
A Pretty Little Tlllngo Which Fnrclinea
Flowers to New York Belles.
Most of the roses that New York belles
wear are raised in the pretty village of
Madison, in New Jersey. Probably more
roses are grown there and sold than
in any other place in the world.
There are 85 enormous green
houses in the town and 150 people are em
ployed in the cultivation of roses. At least
a score of men have grown rich from the
sale of the queen of flowers. On an aver
age 40,000 cut roses are shipped from Madi
son to New York every day in the year.
From June to September the shipments
are heavier and are not confined to New
York. Iiong Brafch, Manhattan Beach
and a score of fashionable seaside resorts
take thousands of the roses. The roses
are shipped in small chests, each se
cured with a lock and bearing the
grower's name Tbechests are returned
empty in the evening. Boses picked
late at night are in the hands of wholesale
dealers in New York by 9 o'clock the next
morning. It is seldom that the supply of
the early morning is not exhausted soon
after dusk. Those that are not sold are
readily keptuntil theday after, particularly
in cool weather.
Where Land Is Cheap.
Lone Horseman Can yon tell me how
far It is to the Crawford ranch?
New Mexican Farmer Can't stop now.
Me an' Bill Buckera is playin' a game of
checkers, an' it's my move. Puck.
They Differ Very Considerably From
the American Article
A DEARTH OP OPEN EDITORIALS.
The Advertisements ire the Host Interest
fWRlHAN rOB TUE DISPATCH.
HAVE often been amused
by the advertising columns
of newspapers when travel
ing. Indeed I'm not sure
but the advertisements are
often better reading than the
editorials. A comparison of
the newspapers of the world
is difficult if one must judge
the whole paper, but there are many curios
ities of advertising which are of interest.
The German newspaper is at once a thing
of wonderful dullness and mysterious inter
est. Every nation of strong intellectual ac
tivity has its own kind of newspaper, and
the German journal, as befits the vigorous
German character, is like that of no other
country. To the American, of all newspa
per readers, it usually appears the strangest.
Take the Cologne Gazette, which is the most
typical and about the most important Ger
man newspaper, since it is the favorite un
official or semi-official organ of Bismarck.
There are no headlines in it, and no clew
to the nature of a piece of news is ever writ
ten at the top of it beyond the name of the
country whence it comes. It is very fully
stated at the head of the newspaper who has
charge of the different departments of its
management, the name of the chief editor
being of course given, but there are appar
ently no editorials.
Editorial remarks, however, are insidious
ly inserted in communications nominally
from correspondents in different parts of the
world. These curiously placed editorial re
marks are usually of an orthodox, govern
mental and unstirring character, but
occasionally they contain information or ac
cusations which set Europe in an uproar,
nd to which an American newspaper
wonld call attention by at least half a col
umn of headlines.
This was the case with the charges against
Sir Kobert Morier, the British Ambassador
at St. Petersburg, which were printed
merely as communications from a staff cor
respondent, but which were furnished di
rectly by Bismarck. Sometimes state se
crets are divulged, and explanations of the
Chancellor's most remarkable actions given,
by these gifted mythical correspondents.
The other day the Cologne Gazette printed
the news of Prince Alexander of Batten
berg's marriage to Eraulein Loisinger and
referred to a rumor current in Berlin at the
time when Battenberg and Princess Vic
toria of Prussia were so unalterably devoted
to each other, and which was to the effect
that if the pair should be married, and the
Emperor should live some time, he would
secure the succession of Battenberg to the
As t.he Gazette is very frequently the
organ of Bismarck, and never says what is
obnoxious to him, this statement probably
contained the true explanation of Bismarck's
furious opposition to the Battenberg-Vic-toria
One of these ebulitions in a German
newspaper is like the shadow of a great rock
in a weary land, but the foreigner must be
fore long get tired of the news part of the
paper. Let him then turn to the advertise
ment part, which is by far themost original
The announcements of engagements, mar
riages, births, deaths and desires to marry
are very quaint and quite different from
anything to be seen anywhere else. These
notices occupy considerable space, which
differs usually according to the importance
of the persons concerned. They are more
over made attractive by type varying in size
from the letters in which the titles of the
American dailies are put to the smaller kind
of Gothic, and exclamation points are plen
tifully used. Here is a notice of a betrothal,
which is a legal ceremony in Germany :
W. Prang and his wife Elizabeth, nee an de
Loo. have the honor to announce hereby the
betrothal of their daughter Mincnen to Herr
Itojal Forest Assessor Frederick Klemme.
My betrothal to Fraulein Minchen Prang I
most joyfully announce. Frederick Klemme,
royal forest assessor.
The usual announcement of births is like
By the happy birth of a lusty boy are highly
rejoiced Paul Rusche and his wife Line, nee
The notice of death is often a literary
effort. The following are specimens of an
To-day, at 9.30 A. M., softly went to sleep, in
consequence of paralysis of the heart, my most
beloved husband, our never to be forgotten
father, father-in-law and grandfather, Herr
Commercial Councillor Wilhelra Peters, In the
nearly ended 75th year of his life. Amille
meters, nee rremerey, aoidus -eiers, Aiellnka
Peters, Willy Peters, Matbilde Wotalar, nee
Peters. Oskar Peters, Ida Peters, nee Scholler,
Elly Peters, nee Banning, Robert Wetxlar and
four grandchildren. Eupen, 4th March, 1889.
This morning, about 10 o'clock, passed quiet
ly and in submission to Ood, after short bat
severe suffering, fortified with the holy sacra
ments, our most dearly loved wife, mother,
daughter, sister, sister-in-law and aunt, Frau
Sibylla Franziska Mager, nee Offerman, at the
age of nearly 40. For silent sympathy begs in
the name of the sorrowing ones left behind.
This is an elaborate but heartfelt appeal
from a young bachelor:
Marriage. Whose warm, strongly beating
heart responds to that of a young man, aged 27,
of Catholic religion, well-born, of university
education, stately, handsome presence, and
considerable fortune? Young ladles, healthy,
experienced In household duties, of pleasing
appearance. Catholic religion and some lor
tuneare invited to reply (not anonymously),
with the object of marriage, to Herr A. D. J.,
to the care of this paper.
WANTS HIS PICK.
This advertisement does not mean, as
some may think, that the young man has
the object of marriage with young ladies in
general, but that he thinks such a man as
himself ought to have considerable oppor
tunity of choice. The ladies insert these
advertisements quite as often as men. One
"young lady, blessed by nature and by for
tune, wishes to marry an honorable gentle
man, even if a widower." There are plenty
of advertisements by marriage brokers, and
thej are usually headed "Marriage! Mar
riage! Marriage!" aud promise to secure
good parties for all customers.
The Austrian journalist has the same
literary methods as his German relative,
but he must supply a livelier and larger
paper to his Teaders, who are a rather
frivolous lot and he has not such amusing
advertisement columns. Frequently the
Austrian cditor'makes extensive use of his
imagination and he can invent thoroughly.
Some time ago one of the best known Vi
enna papers published a long paragraph
purporting to be a telegram irom London.
It was very interesting.
It told how the three daughters of the
Prince ot "Wales were walking down White
hall when they observed that a wretched
looking woman selling flowers was doing no
business. They therefore took her basket
and sold flowers for about three hours, mak
ing a great deal of money, which they gave
to the poor woman. The story did not have
the least foundation in fact, of course, apd
the princesses were not in London anywhere
near the time the incident was stated to
On studying European papers one is in
clined to . the belief that the amount, of
amusement to be derived from their adver
tisemeats is great in proportion to their
weakness in news. The London dailies are
better newspapers than the German, and
they cannot show such interesting adver
tisements, while on the other hand the New
York papers are superior to the London
dailies in news features and can shownoth
ing equal to the agony columns of the latter.
This theory is strengthened by the fact
that the paper which publishes the most ex
cruciating things in its "agony" column is
the London Standard, the mouthpiece of
the most stolid and respectable Toryism.
The second column, front page, is devoted
to this purpose, and many of the love-letters
in it are such that the reading of them in
any breach of promise case would make &
cause celebre of it. Often these communi
cations are in code, more often partially in
code 'and' frequently transparently dis
guised like this: "Eisle rof Gnignol dna
Gnitiaw Gnihctaw,' which obviously
means, "watching, waiting and longing for
Sometimes the lovers drop into poetry.
Their advertisements are somewhat appro
priately interspersed with those of private
ACROSS THE CHANNEL.
The French papers, although not news
papers in the strictest sense of the word, are
the wittiest and best written, but they con
tain very few agonizing advertisements.
They publish, however, a few advertise
ments of matrimonial agents, always women,
and of persons who want conjugal partners.
They are printed in a batch with the head
ing "Marriages," are always very business
like, nnd are very much abbreviated, both
as far as the words and the statements are
concerned. Here are some from the Figaro:
Rich marriages 23d -rear of business.
Widow Guyot. bureau 68.
Misses, widows and orphans (female), 18 to
CO ycirs, 40,100 to 5,000,000f. Madame Gruet,30
Serious Gentleman. 40 years old, distin
guished, 250,000f. Would marry pretty person,
honorable, good musician, or having fine voice,
simple and respectable tastes. Nothing to do
with agencies. Write L. M., poste restante,
It is interesting to note that the French
man is always careful to stipulate that his
would-be wife shall be respectable, honor
able and of unimpeachablo antecedents.
THE MANUFACTURE OP PAPER.
la There Sncb a Thing Now Obtainable n
Paper Blade Parelr From Ragsf
The employment of lignose, cellulose, and
other substitutes for rags in the manufac
ture of paper has now become so general
that many persons doubt whether any paper
is at present made purely from rags; and as
considerable doubt also exists as to the dur
ability of most of the paper which is now
being manufactured, there is here a serious
question for the editors of costly books and
other such works. A considerable quantity
of the paper used by foreign editors between
1830 and 1845-gave very unsatisfactory re
sults. Yet at the time there were no substi
tutes employed for rags; but the art of
bleaching paper by the chlorine process was
only in its infancy. The result has been the
partial destruction of many valuable works
that were printed during those 15 years.
It appears from experiments "recently
made on a large scale in France that cellu
lose and lignose, if properly treated, can be
safely employed without endangering the
durability of certain kinds of paper. Those
substances, however, cost at present nearly
as much as rags. The onlv extra cost of
the paper made from rags is the expense of
reducing the raw material, the rags, into
pulp. At the present price of rags, which
ranges in the western departments of France
at from about 35 francs per hundred kilos
for white to 20 francs for gray, a well-situated
factory with plenty of water-power at
its disposal could now obtain handsome
profits by manufacturing pure rag paper,
which would find a ready sale with the pub
lishers of high-class works.
It is said that more money has been spent by
the United States Government in the investi
gation of the diseases which affect swine than
of those which affect the human species.
Db. Chaixxe, the well-known statistician,
states that the average life of woman is longer
than that of man, and in most parts of the
United States woman's expectation of life is
M. Pasteuk'S system of treating rabies, al
though it has Tnany enemies, has also many
friends and advocates. At a recent lecture,
given before one of the medical societies of
London, a Prof. Horsley gave an Illustrated
lecture on the Pasteurian methods, in which it
was said that the use of these methods of
treatment had reduced the mortality in cases
of hydrophobia, from 15 per cent to L3 per
cent. Philadelphia, American.
A process of engraving on glass and crystal
by electricity has been communicated to the
French Academy of Sciences by M. Plante.
The plate to be engraved Is covered with a con
centrated solation of nitrate of potash and put
in connection with one of the poles in the bat
tery, and the design is traced out with a fine
Slatinum point connected to the other pole,
he results are said to be of marvelous deli
cacy. London Public Opinion.
Siaji is rich in minerals. Gold, iron, tin and
copper are found in many parts of the country;
but the want of roads, and consequent diffi
culty of getting these metals to market, pre
vent their being worked, except for thellmited
wants of the natives. As regards gold, this
metal is found in many places, but the mines
at Bang Tapan on the west coast are said to
contain tbe purest gold in the country. They
have been worked by the natives by simply
turning over the ground, tbe gold being found
in tbe shape of nuggets. When nuggets over a
certain size were fonnd, the miners were
obliged to band them over to the Government,
but tbey were paid for the same according to a
tariff fixed by tbe authorities. A syndicate of
foreigners has been formed, with a concession
from the King, for working these mines, and
has now a number of workmen employed, the
prospects for rich developments being good.
Pkof. Lodge, assuming that light is an
electrical disturbance, reasons that all our
present systems of making light artificially are
wasteful and defective. We want only a par
ticular range of oscillations,but to obtain them
we havo to produce all tbe inferior ones lead
ing up to them. The force thus expended is
thrown awa. With his energy properly
directed, a boy turning a handle could produce
as much real light as we get with all our
present expenditure. The waste is worse when
we get light by combustion than with the
electric lights, for then tbe air as well as the
fuel is consumed, and the low heat-rays that
are thrown ont cause Inconvenience as well as
being wasteful. The light of glow-worms and
of phosphorescence is produced without waste.
We must learn to obtain light with equal
economy. Popular Science Monthly.
Bnrllngton Free Press.
Doctor Bummer, I. will tell you candid
ly, every glass of liquor you drink is a nail
in vour coffin.
Bummer Well, doctor, you can't ex
pect a fellow's coffin to hang together with
Ber Interest at Stake.
New York Sun.1
Old Hubby Don't go on so,my dear, just
because I spent a little money. I have
enough for life.
Toune Wife But just think of me after
you are gone.
Satiety at a Stamford Poker Party.
Mr. James Whad's d' mattah wiv
Mr. French To' see, Mistah James, we's
usin' clams for chips, an' Mistah Howelli's
done eat up he's hall stack. Judge.
PALACE AND PKIS0N.
Oar Correspondent Shows tbe Ball
Flayers the Sights of Paris.
THE CHIEF OBJECTS OP INTEREST.
Strolling Through Places Where Proud
Sings Once Lingered.
HOW ARRESTS ARE HADE IN FRANCE
rcoEBXsrosrjAcE or tbx disfatch.1
ABIS. March 9. We
had the baseball players
with us for nearly a
week, and I showed them
as much attention as
possible, ' assisting Mr.
Spalding to find grounds
and to arrange with the
local authorities. Two
or three of the men went
with me ont to Ver
sailles, and I also showed them the lockup
and the Black Maria. Not having much
time at our disposal, we peeped in the gal
lery onlv and hurried on to the Grande and
the Petite Trianon.
M. Thiers used to be very fond of going
out and refreshing himself with a cup of
asses' milk supplied him by the head
gardener at the Trianon. The great little
man often feared that quadrupeds of the
same kind as those which supplied him with
drink might get into the game of running a
Government. An English writer once said
that when a cart was conducted by a
donkey, a man and a monkey, it was the ass
alone that pulled straight, and the facetious
writer alluded to the cart as the "state
1$ POBMEB TIMES.
Some persons believe that the small Tri
anon is the work of Marie Antoinette, but
she only made the English garden and laid
out the'hamlet in "disperse order," as it is
styled by the military. This Trianon is the
work of Louis XV., while Louis XTV. laid
out and planned the large one. In St.
Simon's Memoirs is an anecdote which is
always swallowed by modern credulity.
When Louis XIV. was visiting the build
ing of this royal block he thought a certain
window was smaller than the others, bat
Lugois vigorously contested this assertion,
even with insolence, whereupon the King,
tiring of the dispute, told a courtier to
measure it, which was done and the archi
tect was pronounced in the wrong. The
war of the Palatinate followed this testy ex
hibition. The Trianon was created bv Louis XIV.
because he wanted to be free, as he was not
at Versailles, in the midst of so numerous a
court, in which he felt himself as much of a
slave as he was master. However, a few
years later courtiers and etiquette again in
vaded him in his new royal abode, and so
he built another place and called it Marly.
This last mentioned spot is now the country
home of Victorian Sardou, the famous
When Louis XV. conceived the fantastic
idea of constructing the Petite Trianon, he
entrusted the architect Gabriel with its exe
cution, and although of great merit he got
very little for his trouble. He had already
built the Ecole Militaire, also the Garde
Meuble in fine style. It is this Garde Meu
ble that stands at one of the corners
of the Place de la Concorde, and is now the
Navy Department. The corresponding
building to it on the other side of the Bue
Boyale is occupied as private residences and
by one of the leading clubs of Paris.
Very little is known of Maria An
toinette's occupancy of the Trianon. Louis
XV. and Madame Du Barry left traces be
hind them much more dishonest but less
familiar, perhaps, than those which are
drooped in the enchanted spot by visitors.
The enchantment has long since vanished,
however, and the pretty English garden is
no more than a swamp. I am very much
afraid that instead of your taking away a
favorable impression of the place, whenyoa
come over, you will carry off a fever.
One of my French acquaintances has in
his private gallery a painting showing us
Louis XV. seated on the lawn facing the
little canal which runs past the Grande
Trianon. His eyes are following a gondola
promenade that was organized by the
Duchess of Burgundy, and a small yacht
filled with musicians is behind the gay
court. The King could not take part in
his pleasure trip on account of his rheu
matism. AN AQUATIC PROMENADE.
That night, after the pretty promenaders
had supped, they went out again, the even
ing being mild, and paddled their own
canoes about until nearly dawn. Another
picture in my friend's gallery represents
"Trianon sous Bois," that is to say, an
annex which was inhabitated by the Dau
phin under Louis XIV. and afterward by
the Duke and Duchess of Burgundy.
The old King of Poland, lodged in tbe
Trianon. Here, too, Charles X. made his
first halt when on the road to exile, and
during the year 1810 Napoleon took his
wife Maria Louise into the place. But that
part of France to which the Austrian Arch
duchess paid most'attention was the neigh
boring palace, the Petite Trianon, which
was still occupied by ber aunt, the Queen.
The following year the King of Borne, who
was just born, was carried about on a coach
in the grounds.
Napoleon put a fine library in this little
dwelling, a house always more sumptuous
than it was handy. In 1815 -the Prussians
pillaged the Trianon; then they had a pen
chant for books, 'but later on clocks seemed
to be their hobby.
GOKTG TO BUI1T.
At the present time the Grande is in a
still more dilapitated condition ihat is the
Petite Trianon. I cannot understand why
the Government should let these two his
torical places go to decay, as they are very
attractive to visitors and draw many per
sons out to Versailles. I do not think for
eigners would mind paying a small fee, and
this would, aid in keeping up the two
Coming hack from the country, we rode
through the Bois du Bolougne, around the
Arch de Triumph and down the Camps
Elysees. There is a police station in one
corner of the Palais de l'Industrie, and
just then the Black Maria was leaving with
several prisoners for tbe principal lockup.
Over here this prison vehicle is called the
"salad basket," and last year nearly 57,000
persons had free rides in it.
The place to which they are conveyed
from the "violin" or district station is
called the "depot," and is, so to speak, a
sort of house of detention, not only for
special categories, but for all kinds of crimi
nals, and where they are locked up tempo
rarily. This rule is not without exception,
asnot only certain persons have a lorced
sojourn there for whole months, but a
special class of criminals remain until the
expiration of their term of imprisonment,
GBEEN BALL PLATEES.
It would have done your heart good could
you have heard me going on in a sort of
guide book fashion with these young men
from the TJniled States. It is true they are
crack baseball players, and are on a trip
around the world, but tbey were the
greenest lot of fellows lever saw in Parish
so far as sight-seeing was concerned. They
went to the students' ball and they, were
crazy to have a look at Boulanger. I think
they witnessed a balloon ascension, but all
other things seemed uninteresting to them.
It was not until we struck the Black
Maria that they showed genuine animation.
Perhaps it was almost like being at home
again, and they questioned me a lot about
the system, even expressing a' desire to visit
the '"depot." Eight such prison vans are
employed in Paris daily, and there are two
arrivals at the depot, one in the afternoon
and one in. the evening.
The latter is the most important, for those
it brings In "are usually arrested on grave
charges, or are persons not able to give sat
isfactory accounts of themselves. On get-1
ting out of the "salad basket" each prisoner
is searched carefully. Their names are
then entered in a book, and as soon as they
are registered information is sent tbe magis
trates. The prisoners are then served with
a small loaf of bread made in the Saint
Lazare prison, and the quality of which is
equivalent to that furnished to French
soldiers. When this food is ealen they are
locked up, but not until their clothes are
taken off and put to one side, other gar
ments being famished them while they re
The depot is divided into two parts, one
or males and the other for females, and
they are very alike in appearance. There
are 100 cells for both classes, some- of them
large, some small, and the furniture in each
is very limited. A gas light is always
bnrning in each cell, and I think they are
clean and well aired. There are no sheets
on the mattress, but if a prisoner wishes
one be may obtain it for 8 cents for the
In cell No. 14 dangerous criminals are
locked up, and to be therein locked up is
considered the zenith of one's happiness.
Everyone has hh peculiar vanity. Fre
quently the number of cells is inadequate,
and then the prisoners are turned loose in
the large halls, but are closely watched by
extra squads of policemen. In tbe women's
part fallen women are separated from other
females, and in the men's quarter the old
and the young are separated. In the men's
quarter is one large cell that is known as
the "dress coat hall."
This is a room looked after with care, and
the windows are spacious and curtained.
Only persons of distinction, those who are
believed to-be honorable and who may have
been drinking too much, are ever locked up
in this cell. Directly beneath it is the
place for young children arrested for vaga
bondage or begging, and a little further on
is the quarter lor mad people. Four or five
such are generally gathered in daily, and
they are sent to the hospital of St. Ann as
soon as possible.
TBE TEAMS AT "WOBK.
It was not till this afternoon that the two
teams gave us an exhibition of their skill
as ball players. The grounds were in a ter
rible condition, covered with water in sev
eral places and muddy everywhere. For
four or five days we had had the finest
weather, but yesterday it rained, and the
balloon park did not dry up sufficiently to
make the in and outfield fit for playing.
But it was decided to go on with the game,
and taking all the circumstances into con
sideration, I think the boys did very well,
indeed. A home run was made on each
side, but it seemed to me that the All
Americas both out-batted and out-fielded
The famons Anson was the poorest player
on his side, and Captain Ward made a
splendid impression. The attendance was
very large Unfortunately the United
States Minister is suffering with a severe
cold, and was kept to his room, bnt Miss
MacLane did the honors of the grand stand,
assisted by a very charming young lady
whom I am told is the sister of Mrs. James
Brown Potter. She looks like her actress
sister and has the same voice. I wonder if
she has the same peculiar manners. All
the Colony went to see the game and so did
many English people. But it is big odds
that British lovers of outdoor sports will
never let baseball take the place of cricket,
"Why, it's rounders, don't you know?"
some of them kept on repeating.
It is about as much like rounders as a
donkey race in a Kent lane is like a run for
the Derby. Henet Hatkie.
DON'T TOSS THE BABY.
A Very Risky Gamp to Play With the Little
The throwing a baby into the. air and
catching him again is always a risky prac
tice, certain though the tosser may be of his
quickness of eye and sureness of hand. A
sudden and unexpected movement of the
child in his mid-air flight may result in a
A gay young father snatched np his baby
boy one morning and tossed him to the ceil
ing. Twice the little fellow went flying
through the air and came down safely into
the waiting arms. The third time the ex
cited child gave a spring of delight as his
father's hands released him, plunged for
ward, and pitching over the father's
shonlder, fell head, downward to the floor.
When the poor baby came out of the stupor
in which he lay for hpurs it was found
that, although no bones had been broken,
the brain had sustained an injury that
would, in all probability, render the child
Another baby snatched from the floor and
tossed into tbe air received a fatal wound in
the top of the head from the pointed orna
ment of a chandelier. Still another child
slipped between the father's hands as he
caught at her in her downward flight, and
although his frenzied grasp on the baby's
arm saved ber from falling to the ground, it
wrenched muscles and sinews so cruelly that
the girl's arm was shrunken and practi
cally useless to her all her lire. These are
extreme cases.but the fact of their occurring
at all should be enough to warn one from
the habit ot relinquishing one's hold on a
child when tossing it.
HE PAID LIKE A MAN.
Settled a BUI of $90 With 10 Cent! and
Got a Drink for Nothing;.
Xansas City Globe.:
Ben was one of the chattiest and
pleasantest newspaper men that ever
wielded a blue pencil at a Kansas City
desk. Ben who? you ask. That cuts no
figure in the story, for it has to deal with
one of his weaknesses, and why mention
names? The weakness was not exactly a
passion for strong driuk, for that had be
come a habit, but it consisted in an inabil
ity to pay for his dozen daily "fingers."
So mine host Gaston one day counted up
something like $90 slated against Ben.
He never expected Ben to pay it, and
finally refused to add another scratch to the
long column of figures.
For two days Ben stayed away.
The third day bright aud early Ben
dropped in as chipper as a lark and fresh as
a daisy. '
"Say, Gaston, what'U settle my bill?"
Gaston wanted to get rid of Ben quickly.
"Ten cents," said he, in a disgusted tone.
Ben put 10 cents on the bar. Gaston was
"W11, Ben, what are yon-waiting for?"
"When a man settles his bill isn't it cus
tomary to set 'em up?"
Gaston fainted nnd Ben helped himself.
Utilizing the Old Man.
"What shall I do with your husband?
he's pretty full."
"Put him where he will do the most
good against that shutter.it keeps bang
ing all the time." Puck. ,
THE FIRESIDE SPfflM
k Collection of Em'snaM Its for
Address communication! for this department
to K, R. CnADBOUB2r,.rffoni Maine.
524 THE EGYPTIAN PEOBLEJT.
CCopyright, 1S88, by E. B. Chadbonrn.l
The following hieroglyphics, found on
one of the Egyptian pyramids, are supposed
to represent a long division example, such
as the governess of the young Pharaohs used
to set for her pupils in the reign of Barneses
II. The puzzle is to render these symbols
into Arabic numbers:
J. H. Fezakdie.
525 A BETEBSE.
My heart for place did lately throb:
Like bnndreds I was smitten.
And tbougbt I'd ask for some fat ion,
lake Minister to Britain.
Success I did not quite expect.
Bat tbougbt it worth a trial;
Bound turned tbe President-elect,
And gave a curt denial.
If "I get ruin." who's to blameT
For such a plot It is a shame!
This "unique,dicC ' you win fln4
To be uneasiness of mind.
"A mere tune" this and nothing more,
Used to compute or count things o'er.
Chas. L Houston.
1. In ''Nelsonlan." 2. A stripling. 3. Slower.
4. Tbe celling or under surface ot any part
(Arch). 6. One of a group of air-breathing or
scaly reptiles (Zool;. 6. Dissolute. 7. In a
toothed manner. 8. Ones wbo scoff. 9. Birds
jf the eenus Hallus. 10. Denial. 11. In 'Nel
sonian." U. Keka.
528 COVEBED PALUTDBOMES.
Old Farmer Gray is wont to say.
As he shakes a dolef nl bead.
That warning truths to growing youths
Are worth as much unsaid.
Bat this one rule be must impress
"Boait not upon the dress."
Then with its brother comes another.
Which, heeded, oft has saved a dnel,
,"Though falsehood's tongue your heart has
Unless vou fast would add new fuel.
And force the Are to flame tbe higher,
'Have never at aalsifler.' "
Ihen all his fretting past forgetting.
He adds another to tbe store:
"No tenet fight that's based on right;
Though thongbtless multitudes ignore.
Some time their verdict yet will be: Veneratet
Reproached at vile, exists for aye a savior
Of the whole, the historic pages will tell;
As a name for a boy, it serves verv well:
Curtailed and transposed, 'tis an English estate.
Oft owned by the wealthy, tbe tilled add great.
Transposed again, and a native you see
Of a city that's known both to you and tome.
Behead this native, and a gulf will remain;
Transposed, 'tis a cry of torture and pain.
Behead the estate, and transpose tbe same.
And you'll readily find a fair maiden's name.
Now, If you transpose tbe name of this maid.
It will leave lor your horse a favorite shade.
530 SPBING COMEE3.
What thongh we are a merry band,
All clothed in golden styles.
In loneliest nooks we love to land.
And wake a cbeerful smile:
"We see a welcome In all eyes.
Which beaming we return:
To greet us lovely flowers arise,
Which In our absence mourn.
The dear old mother earth we greet,
With many a warmembrace;
Torturing, Disfiguring Skin Diseases
Wonderful Cure of Salt Rheum. Face, hands,
and arms covered. Hands useless for two
years. Doctors said case was Incurable.
Cured by Cuticura.
I hare had a most wonderful cure of salt
rheum. For five years I have suffered with
this disease. I had it on my face, arms, and
hands. I was unable to do anything whatever
with my hands for over two years. I tried hun
dreds of remedies, and not one bad the least
effect. The doctor said my case was incurable.
I saw your advertisement, and concluded to try
tbe Ctjticuka Remedies; and incredible as
it may seem, after using one box of Cuticuka,
and two cakes of Cuticttka Soap, and two
bottles of Cutictba Resolveut, lflndlam
entirely cared. Those who think this letter
exaggerated may come and see me and find out
for themselves. GRACE P. HARKHAM,
North St. Charles street, Belle Birer. Ont.
I must extend to you tbe thanks of one of my
customers, who has been cured, by using tbe
Ctjtictba Remedies, of an old sore, caused
by a long spell of sickness or fever eight years
ago. He was so bad he was fearful be would
have to have bis leg amputated, but is happy to
say he is now entirely well sound as a dollar.
He requests me to use bis name, which Is H.
H. Cason, merchant of this place.
JOHN V. MINOR, Druggist,
I have been troubled with tetter on my face
for several years, and doctored with several
doctors, but received no benefit. I used your
Cuticuba Remedies last spring according to
directions and can now say that 1 am entirely
cured. I am satisfied tbat your Cctictjba
remedies are just what yon recommend them
to be. HUGH a ATRES,
Smithvule, W. Va.
I have been cured of a most unbearable
itching skin disease by tbe Ctjtictjba Remx
dles. Tbey bave enabled me to escape years of
suffering. You may use my name as a refer
ence, and any one who wants to know about my
case may write me, inclosing stamp.
W. R BROOKS,
47 Grove street, Providence, R. L
To cleanse the skin, scalp, aud blood of
humors, blotches, eruptions, sores, scales, and
crusts, whether simple scrofulous, or conta
gions, no agency in tbe world of medicine is so
speedy, sure, and economical as the Ctjticuba
Cuticuba, the great skin cure, instantly
allays tbe most agonizing itching and inflam
mation, clears tbe skin and scalp of every trace
of disease, heals ..ulcers and sores, removes
crusts and scales, and restores tbe hair. Cuti
cuba Soap, the greatest of skin be auttflers. Is
indispensable in treating skin diseases and
baby humors. It produces the whitest, clearest
skin and softest hands, free from pimple.
D 1 1 PLES, black-heads, red. rough, chapped
im and oily skin prevented by Cuticuba
Ttat frr til v1 tf,lnaa WA nMWl-
w- ,., . , m-.. "tfi2
rr . !-- .j.TJI ,fi. - "
rr o see wnere every grace wv ?
Destruction and decay?
And stagnant, noisome pools remalB, ,
Where living streams might play.; -. v
We come with helpful forcelandjii.
All vOe things to consame;
Who sends us asks to-be repaid
With beauty aod with bloom. 8.
631 A XETTEB'S CHANGES.
What letter can ba added that chances a '
lady's toy to a temple; a receptacle for fruit to ,
& Inrmnrt fnp ;!(.. a Tinman h.mi n itmattiln
which pertains to a horse; a tblsjtyoa can lay . ' :
on your linger to a iau iree; sometarojr yoa
tread under foot to an equal by your side; a
sign or a secret loage 10 a snarp pain;an arucio.-s
oi neaagear to a geograpnicai point; a uray
movement to a feeling of anticipation.
F. il. Jonsso.
532 HE BAD OLD 1LUT. .
The old man seized a pack of cards "- , '
And went out on a snree.
O, don't you thinEit was a shame
To be so one two threet
He metsome cronies at a two
Who were like him ail one.
They bad some lively one-iwo-thret
A Khh. 1.k ,h. rtt th. .n
Auuuk lug .in gg w .wo eu.i. - j
A. one ooy stole nis once wane nas
Bntnowaaite brown with three: -&.
He scampered down behind the two
And flung it in a tree.
xne om man caugnt tne piayiui ooy i
Anri thraKherl him with s. Wffd: 2
O. don't you think this old, old man
Was very one indeea?
Georgia Bbowtt. ;
533 thbee "wobds.
""".,""!" '""" "" "- " - tj
The spelling differs each from other:
One means donble, duplex, as you see;
One is accord, the other is over.
Tbe spelling is different, as I said before.
And we use them each day, over and over.
7ESBTJAEY WIN NEKS.
Da,fn.K.tt 7ahra.Ma.,,M,w,?4lAl M
Thomas Hogan, Pittsburg, and A. B. Or, Alio
518 Sample, ample; needles, needless.
517 Rides, dries.
518 Key, liock(e). Sickles, Ash, ShoveVHotf "
Auger, Glass, Sand. Mallet, Bait Pole, Flint;
Steel(e), Sparks. Clay, Stone, Head, Swift,
Back, Armlelt, Birch.
510 A mountain-brook.
521 Blank -book (containing pages ant
523-1, Life. 2. Strong drink. 3, A bad tootU
extracted. 4, A lad-aer. 5, A wheel. 8, A
match. 7. A secret. 8, A falsehoods 9, Ad
vice. 10, The book of nature. 11, The winds.
Lttettnga, on the Congo-river, has a Baptist
Church of 70 members.
Tbe number of places of religious worship
in England and Wales, certified, recorded, and
on tbe register atrthe close ot lS8was 25,857,
an increase of 630 in the year.
The Bev. Dr. A. F. Beard says that the Got,
ernment's wars with less than half a million of
Indians hane cost tbe United States S500.0UO,
000. enough, to plant missions in all the heathen
tribes of the worla. Spirit of Missions.
Some statistician asserts that tbe net gain of
new churches In the United States during the
year 1888 was 6.434, tbe increase in tbe number
of ministers was 4,505, while the increase la
church members was 774,861. Tbe average
gairi for each day of tbe year was 17 churches,
12 ministers, and 2,120 members.
D. L. Moody announces that on the 4th day
April. 189, he will begin holding in Chicago a
convention of Christian workers, similar to
that held in tbe summer at Nnrthfleld. Tneso
meetings will continue from 30 to 60 days, and
instruction will be giren by well-known leaders
oi unnsuan tnougnt ana action.
These are Ifim Young Men's Christian As
sociations in America. 623 In England. Ireland
and Scotland, 1,392 In Germany. Holland and
Switzerland, 200 hi Japan and 553 in IS other
couutnes. It is an interesting fact that thera
is an organization at Nazareth, where Christ,
lived for 30 years, and at Jerusalem, where he
was crucified. w
The first prize of 3700 offered by the Cougre-!.'
gaiional Sunday School and Publishing So-"1
ciety for the production best salted to bov
issued as a Sunday school book has been woa -by
Miss Cathenne Lee Bates, ot Wellesley,
College. Mrs. Caroline A. Mason, of Brock.'
port, N. Y., has won the second prize of 2300.
Twelve years ago tbe Modoo Indians were)
uncivilized heathen. Now they are a com
munity of Industrious farmers, with half their
number professing Christians. It cost the
United States Government $1,848,000 to cars
for 2,200 Dakota Indians seven years while)
tbey were savages. After tbey were Christian
ized it cost, for seven years, (120,000, a sayinc
of gl,72S,000. ,K
It was a genuineSunday at the White House ',
Both ends of tbe honse observed it. Not a
stroke of work was done in tbe executive of
flees, and the family rooms were as quiet as tba
Harrison borne at Indianapolis used to be of a?
Snnday. Few people came, and not one off
tbese on anything approaching business or pot-.
Hies. So strict was tbe observance tbat tha.
President's mail lay unopened on Private 8eo"
retary Half ord's desk. Washington Post.
A Snre Sinn.
New York Son.3
Dillettante Do you distinguish the work I
of an amateur artist by the technique?
Artist It is safer to judge by the big)
ie.iexs lie uses ta signing nis name.
A minister and his little boy Cured of Snob
ttinata Skin Disease by the Cuticura Rem.
dies. Piaises them everywhere la the
pulpit, home, and in the street.
For about thirteen years 1 havn been troubled.
with eczema or some other cutaneous disease
which all remedies failed to cure. Hearing of
the Cuticuba Remedies I resolvedito give
them a trial, and purchased one bottle ot Crm
cuba Resoivent. one box of Cuticuba, and
one cake Cuticuba Soap. I followed the'
directions carefully, and it affords me much,
pleasure to say tbat before using two boxes of
tbe Cuticuba, four cakes of Cuticuba Soap,
and one bottle of Cuticuba Resolvest, I
was entirely cured. '
In addition to my own case, my baby boy, then
about five months old, was suffering with what
I supposed to be the same disease as mine to
such an extent that his head was coated over
with a solid scab, from which there was a con-,
stant flow of pus which was sickening to look
upon, besides two large tumor-like kernels on,
tbe back of bis bead. Thanks to yon and your
wonderful Cuticuba Remedies bis scalp Is
perfectly well, and tbe kernels have been scat
tered so that there is only one little place by
his left ear, and tbat la healing nicely. Instead
of a coating ot scabs he has a fine coat of hair,
much better than that which was destroyed by
tbe disease. 1 wonld that tbe whole world of
sufferers from skin and blood diseases knew
the value of your Cuticuba RTrHgnrpg as
Tbe Cuticuba Soap and Cuticuba Resol
vent are each worth ten times the price as
which they are sold. I bave never used any
other toilet soap in my house since I bought ths
first cake of your Cuticuba Soap. I would
Be inhuman as well as ungrateful should I fan
to speak well of and recommend your Cm.
cuba remedies to every sufferer wao camev
in my reach. I have spoken of It, and shall
continue to speak of it from the uulnlt. In
the borne, and In the streets. Eraylng that-
yon may live long, and do others the same
amount of good you have done me aud myJ
child, I remain, yours gratefully. kd
(REV.) a M. MANNING, x'
Box 23. Acwoith, G. j,J
spot or blemish. Cuticuba Rxsoiwxst, t41
new blood punfler, cleanses the blood of a35
imnnrities and nataanAn TTnnt , n.wl
removes the Cause. Hence the Cuticuba
xvemedies cure every species oi agonlziBjr,
humiliating, itching, burning, scaly, and pimpfy
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