' 7 i(F i a-?5 Sil r'.W. .?-' ,jr "vSS "a ft" . t i a- - J -"p to 1 l's VV-r "&"J ?r i. Wfje BMEcft. ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8, 1846. Vol. 44, No. S3. Enteral at Pittsburg Postofflce, November 14, 18ST, as second-class matter. Business Office 97 and 09 Fifth Avenue. News Booms and Publishing House 75, 77 and 79 Diamond Street. Average circnlatlon of the daily edition of The Dispatch for six months ending March 1.1SS9, 27,988 Copies per Issue. Average circnlatlon of the Sunday edition of The Dispatch for February, 1SS9, 45,144 Copies per issue. TERMS OF THE DISPATCH. POSTAGE FKEE IX TOE UNITEn STATES- DAILY DISF ATCn. One Year $ 8 00 Daily Dispatch, Per Quarter 2 00 Daily Dispatch, One Month TO Daily Dispatch. Including feunday, one .year 10 00 Daily Dispatch, Including Sunday, per quarter 250 Daily Dispatch, Including Sunday, one month 90 BCNPAT DlsrATCH, oneyear 2 50 "Weekly Dispatch, one year. l 23 The Daily Dispatch Is delivered by carriers at IS cents per week, or Inclndlng the Sunday edition, at 20 cents per week. PITTSBURG, TUESDAY, MAR. 12, 1SS9. G0VEEN 0B BEAVEE AKD A BILL. A little cloud of mystery which- has gradually gathered around GorernorBeaver and his attitude toward the general revenue bill, has been nicely riven by The Dis patch's Harrisburg correspondent The latter interviewed the Governor of the Com monwealth yesterday, and obtained from him an explanation that is timely and re assuring, and which will be found elsewhere in this issue. The assertion has been often made of late that Governor Beaver, for reasons of his own, wished the Legislature to pass the general revenue bill as it stands to-day. This Governor Beaver now denies flatly, and in a general way expresses his lack of interest in the character of legislation until it comes before him for official action. At the same time, while he professes to know nothing in particular about the general revenue bill's merits or demerits, he does not abstain from pointing out that the deficiency in the revenue caused by the abolition of the tax on the gross receipts of the corporations, and the possible diminution of revenue by the pas sage of the prohibition amendment ought to be provided for. Further than this Gov ernor Beaver's remarks are strictly non committal. As the debate on the general revenue bill will commence to-night this information may be profitable to the legislators. The bill demands careful discussion and re vision in several respects, and too much . light cannot be shed upon it. THE SPECULATIVE DANGER. The representation which has been made in some quarters that the new scheme of is suing pig iron storage certificates fore shadows the establishment oi a monopoly in that industry has little foundation in the fact; but the much more intelligent fear is that it will convert that staple.into a foot ball of speculation and thus dangerously in terfere Vith the legitimate movements of the business. Parallels to the methods of dealing pro posed for the pig iron industry are to be found in the grain and petroleum trades. The custom of storing grain and dealing in the certificates is a generation old; but no one has ever yet been able to monopolize the business. On the other hand, the same custom in the petroleum trade has been ac companied by the establishment of the Standard Oil supremacy; but that the cer tificate system was an incident and not a cause of the monopoly, is shown by the fact that the certificate dealings were only in crude petroleum, while the Standard's monopoly was of the refining trade, and has mainly affected the crude interest by presenting but a single purchaser for actual use in the crude market On the other hand there is no question that speculation which is facilitated by the certificate system has been greatly to the disadvantage of legitimate business in those staples. No more decided example of the fact is required than the history of the grain trade for the past two years. Corners have been formed which artificially enhanced the price of the staple at once checking exportation and stimulating shipments from the producers. Whpn the corner is over the excessive stocks brought into mar ket have depressed the price as factitiously as it was previously advanced. "When the same features are accompanied'as in the pe troleum trade, by the presence of a power in the market which is able to govern these fluctuations to suit its selfish ends there is little reason lor wonder that the general in terest is demoralized and u'nprosperous. It is solid truth, as asserted by the Kew York ZViotme.' "It is the history of specula tion that it has always caused, in the long run, wider and more disastrous fluctuations in prices than have occurred in articles not speculative in character." Kb better evi dence could be asked than the fact that while the speculative articles have under gone yearly, during the past half dozen years, fluctuations of 23 to 50 per cent, the iron trade has not known an extreme fluctu ation of 5 per cent That interest should be slow to exchange its present stability and conservatism for a system which contains1 the possibility of such business gambling as has been common in grain stocks and pe troleum. MACADAMIZED B0ADS XS VIEW. One of the best movements in these parts for many a day is that in favor of good country roads. The introduction of a bill on the subject in the Legislature, the discus sion of the matter by thePittsburgEngineers' Society, and the contribution of views from those who know how excellently and how cheaply country roads are kept in Europe will help to open the farmers' eyes. We hope the topic will not be permitted to drop. The increased value of farms near cities and towns, if easily accessible at all seasons to vehicles; the saving in horse-' power, wear and tear of vehicles and har-1 ness; the comfort to dwellers in the country, and the beneficial influence alike on mind and temper unite to recommend the imme diate and general use of macadamized in place of clay roads. But a few experiments are needed to in sure the adoption of this system extensively through the Commonwealth. BEFOBM THE MATT, SERVICE. John Wanamaker has an excellent op--portunity to-distinguish himself in the ad ministration of his present office and at the 'same time add to his reputation, already ' rreat, as a successful man of business. If half the reports be true .the, postal service, as it now exists, stands in great need of a general, overhauling. The pojicy pursued while Hr. Dickinson was ttt the bead of the department, of turning out experienced men to make places for party favorites and political workers, was one not calculated to add to or improve the efficiency of the service. The railway mail service seems to have suffered most, and that branch is the one where inexperience or incompetence can least be tolerated. The public is patient and uncomplaining as to the manner in which the agents of the Government in gen eral perform their outside duties, but when letters are delayed, lost, or go astray, the ef fect is so damaging to their interests that business men have a right to protest. The postal service ought to be administered without regard to partisanship, but with special care to secure efficiency and prompt ness in the discharge of duty, If Mr. Wanamaker can remedy the mistakes of his predecessor and make the mail service what it should be, he will win the lasting grati tude both of Democrats and Republicans. A VITAL PBINCD7LE. The leading commercial bodies of Phila delphia have brought up an is'sue with refer ence to transportation privileges to be granted in large cities that involves a principle of vital importance to the whole nation. The Commercial, Maritime and Producers' Ex changes of that city have united in asking the Legislature to insist, in connection with the proposed grant of 300,000 to aid in the improvement of the Delaware river, upon the construction of a railroad along the river front, which shall be open to any rail way carrier that may reach it. Such a recommendation commends it self to any unprejudiced mind. The full benefit of harbor improvement cannot be se cured and such a provision would convert every wharf into a railway depot, and allow the full benefit of all terminal facilities to every carrier that reaches Philadelphia. It is plain that such a provision would notonly be a great gain to the commerce of Philadel phia, but its advantages would be extended to all railroads equally, and through them to all shippers that may desire to ship freight to thattcity. But it is not necessary to stop there. The advantage and justice of giving all carriers equal access to the wharves being recog nized, the same principle should be extend ed to all occupancy of public property- by railways in cities. "When a street is sur rendered to the use of a railway it should be recognized that all railways that can reach the city have an equal right to that street, subject of course to equitable pay meat for the use of the tract. The funda mental character of a public street is the equal right of all persons to use it; and if its use is given to one railway, it should be given to all others that desire it If that principle is enforced it would place all rail ways on an equal footing in reaching cities and would preserve the streets of cities from a universal gridironing, by making a single belt line answer the purposes of all the railway carriers doing business in a given city. "When this subject is properly appreciated the principle will be recognized that all railway lines traversing the streets and docks of the city must be so far public as to be open to the use of all railway carriers that may wish to do business at that point. IT SHOOTS BOTH WAYS. ' There is an especial interest in the method used by the JTew York TTorfd to reply to what it scents'as a "partisan sneer at politi cal opponents" in General Harrison's in augural. In reply to the President's refer ence to political reform, the TForW points out that the Australian ballot reform bill was opposed by Bepublican votes in the Indiana and Maine Legislatures, which it conceives to prove Bepublican "hostility to any eflective law for throwing effective safe guards about theballot-box and the elector." The direct inference that, in the World's opinion, opposition to ballot reform bills indicates adherence to the system of frauds in election, is perhaps legitimate, but it should be applied to both parties. This view is strengthened by the assertion that "as an honest man himself, President Har rison ought to know and to admit that the honest men of both parties are equally in terested in a reform of the election laws." This leads to the inevitable deduction that those in both parties who are opposed to such a reform are not honest men. "We have no disposition to criticise the premises, but it is necessary to urge upon the World the importance of using its usual outspokenness in making the appli cation. The most prominent example of opposition to such legislation is afforded by one David B. Hill who, as Governor of New York, vetoed an electoral reform bill, and was thereafter renominated and re-elected by the Democracy of New York. As this question was made an issue in the canvass it is somewhat difficult to see how the alle gation of dishonesty, made by the World, can be diverted from Governor Hill and his supporters, among which, if we are not very much mistaken, was the .esteemed World itself. Our valuable cotemporary's logic ris effective, but is very dangerous at the breech. It affixes to Governor Hill and his supporters, by a well-qualified judge, the undoubted characteristic of dishonesty. A B0MANTIC BOBBEB, It is ' not customary to look for the finer sensibilities.or more gracious traits of hu manity in men who follow burglary as a profession. As soon would one impute a taste for the culture of orchids to a skunk as a generous sympathetic nature to a noc turnal thief. Therefore it will be generally admitted upon examination of his record that William Harris, an English -expert in the use of skeleton keys, crowbars and other burglarious tools, is a phenomenal flower in his profession. William Harris left his country, conspic uously for his country's good, and honored New York city with his professional atten tions. He was captured in the latter place last week, but not before he had visited many h6uses, and secured considerable plun der. It is a fact that he, invariablv chose his victims from among the rich. This -might have been because rich men are the most profitable to pluck, but Mr. Harris assures us that he was actuated in his selection by motives of the highest humanity. Like Robin Hood he robbed the rich only. He was consider ate even when he was making off with the valuables of a millionaire. It was his cus tom to leave a note at every house he visited, stating that if he had by chance taken any article endeared to his victims by, tender as sociations of a'ny kind, he could be relied upon to return it for a suitable reward offered through the newspapers. Mr. Harris shows that even the gentle burglar, in his humble way, can add some thing to the record of romantic humbug. Following his example the meanest hen roost robber may lend a poetic flavor to his pursuitseven if prosaic buckshot prove, his final reword. But we trusfMiv' Harris will THE be led to perceive4 that burglary and senti ment do notH mix well, and that by con fining himself to the latter he 'might have escaped the years of penal servitude which he will now have to endure. A good, stiff sentence may help Mr. Harris to a clearer understanding of the true relations between sentiment and thievery. ANOTHER FORM OF THE DANGER. A very interesting discussion is going on before a committee of the Massachusetts Legislature with regard to the danger from overhead wires as means of furnishing power to" electric street cars. The repre sentation of the danger from so heavily charged wires is of course met by testimony on the part of the companies, that they are not so dangerous as is supposed, but the evi dence of their safety is. by no means con vincing. Another disadvantage has recent ly been experienced in Cleveland where along the line of a road operated by over head wires the telephones have become al most useless from the-induction of the more powerful current It certainly does not seem proper that aiter such convincing proofs of the danger of electric light wires have been given that the public-should be exposed either to that danger or to the one which comes from the more powerful current required to move street cars. It is all the more wanton to do it when the danger is so easily avoided. The same underground conduit that affords accommodation to the electric railway wires could be used for the electric light current; while a separate conduit can be supplied for telephone and telegraph wires. This may cost more than the pole system, it is true, but beside the enhanced safety the cost is infinitessimal. The platform should be made universal that electric railway wires, like all other electric wires, must go underground. What the copper syndicate really wants is to take a leaf from Senator Stewart's book, and elect a statesman to urge bills requiring the Secretary of the Treasury to purchase 4,000.000 worth of copper each month. Senator Fakwell has again demons trated that he is not true to, Bepublican principles, by antagonizing in an interview the declaration of the party platform and the pledges of the President on the question of the Civil Service. Consequently on the Senator's own basis, a partisan Civil Service, he has placed himself outside of the party lines, and is not entitled even to a fourth class postoffice. Perhaps the announcement that "S. J. McKallip is a candidate for Public, Printer from Pittsburg," will enthuse local politi cal circles when they get a little clearer in formation as to who the gentleman is. The failure of the Findlay Iron and Steel Company is said by the Chicago Times (free-trade) to "celebrate the return of the party of protection to American industries to power." What it really does, however, is to add another to the practical lessons on the folly of locating iron and steel manu factures away from the natural centers of those industries. The report that Chicago has abolished the name of God from her school-books, suggests that the reason is probably a desire to anticipate the danger that God would abolish Chicago. The report that President Harrison's de clination to shake hands with every one at his last reception "provoked much unfavora ble comment," is another proof that the element who consider it a great American privilege to maul the hand of the Chief Magistrate still offers a splendid field for the exercise of the functions of the fool killer. Having had "Jack the Bipper," "Jack the Kisser" and "Jack the Choker" there is an urgent need for completing the series by a specimen of "Jack the Dangler." A Pougheeefsie man drew a cigar lighter on another man and was at once ar rested, and bound over to keep tne peace. This harsh course was probably justified by the suspicion that he intended to follow up his offensive activity by giving the other fellow a Poughkeepsie cigar. The Samoan war and the appearance of the Countess di Montercoli on the stage are ihe latest stock subjects for the efforts of journalistic imagination. The very strong indication afforded by ihe new legislation in the Canadian Par liament for the extradition of embezzlers, that Canada is sick of our boodlers, is also an indication that boodlers must have spent most of the money. i Wheat continues to decline having got down below the dollar line again. Let flour follow the example and all may be for given. With the Spanish, Swiss and Japanese missions filled, the chauces of the editorial aspirants are just so much diminished; but while the English, French, Italian and German places are left open there is both life and hopes. PERSONAL FACTS AND FANCIES. The Shah will be domiciled at Stafford House when he visits .London. A fixe statue of the late Bishop Bappe Is soon to be unveiled at Cleveland. Among the curiosities of the Queen's rail way journeys has the time tables supplied to Her Majesty, these Being printed In violet ink on hand-made paper with gilt edges. They contain the exact times of the stoppages at all points, and give other information of in terest Cabdinai, Manning will celebrate the twenty-fifth anniversary of his Episcopal con secration on June 8, 1890. A fund Is being raised as a testimonial to pay off the 60,000 debt on his cathedral, so that the building may be consecrated on or before his own anni versary, The Prince of Wales has perhaps the finest 'railway coach in Europe. The Southeastern built it, and it contains seven rooms, there being a study, little library, a couple of bed rooms, & dressing room and a bathroom. The bedroom Is most luxuriously furnished in old gold s'ilk, being lighted by electricity, and the pannelllng Is beautifully painted. The Prince uses his carnage for all his jonrneys. Recently the Prince of Wales made his first appearance in the gambling rooms at Monte Carlo since his arrival on the Riviera. Very little notice was taken of his Royal High ness by anybody there, few people recognizing him, or if they did, not' being sufficiently im pressed by his personality to look at him a sec ond time. He patronized the roulette tables In preference to the more select Trente-et-Quar-ante, where most of the English statesmen have been disporting themselves for the last month. The Prince stood at the end of the table and every nowandthen gave the croupier a 100-franc piece to put down for htm on a batch of numbers. But every time he. staked his 4 they were remorselessly raked in, to the very evident mortification of the royal punter, who played a losing game extremely badly. , PITTSBmiG DISPATCH; THE TOPICAL TALKEB, A Little of the Lighter Side ol Life Briefly Touched Upon. There was a time," said a theatrical man a few days ago, "when the critics of the newspa pers throughout the country- were not as in corruptible as they generally are to-day. In those days, and I am speaking of an era not beyond the recollection of a middle-aged man, it could not have been said, as The Dispatch truthfully remarked the other day, that the dramatic critics were beyond the reach of a smart manager. "I remember a case in point Once upon a time I was engaged to manage an actress -whoso only claim for recognition was her great beauty. She was a lovely woman and a des perately bad actress. Tne backer of the show had not a very fat bank account, so I had to rely upon, my star's good looks and charming manners off the stage to pull us through. We got along fairly well till we reached a large city, where I knew the principal newspaper had a disagreeable habit of making things lively for stars who traveled on anything but sheer ability to act "I was afraid of, the dramatic editor of that paper, but I resolved to try my best to square him. My previous experience with him taught me that he had an oye for feminine beauty. I told my star, therefore, that she must try her best to charm this critical ogre into amiability, and I promised her that 1 would give her a proper opportunity." "On the afternoon of the Monday our com pany was to appear for the first time I visited the captious critic, and begged him to take dinner with mo at the hotel. He agreed, but dropped a very plain hint that I must not ex pect any favors in the critical line. "I arranged that my fair principal should dine with us, and hade her try her best to cap ture the critic Dressed very modestly but most becomingly, she appeared at dinner, which was served in a private room, and I ex plained to my guest that her presence was acci dentalthat I had invited her to dine with me and had forgotten the engagement "She exerted herself nobly, and when tho dinner was oveij I knew that we were safe that at least there would be no slashing critique, and that perhaps we might get a favorable notice. ' "The result exceeded jny hopes; the paper which I had feared so much had a pleasant and tolerably long article next day, in which the writer laid stress upon my star's beauty and allowed the Inference to be drawn that she was a good actress as well. "There was a change of billjm the middle of the week, but I was not anxious, for the first notice had been favorable without exception. What was my surprise the next morning when I read in the paper I have spoken of a perfect ly diabolical dissection of my star. It was one of the brightest things of the kind Pve ever seen, but you can imaging that I didn't appre ciate the slaughter of my star. Late in the day the critic of the paper called o see me. He said he'd been sick the day before, and another member of the editorial force had taken his place at the theater. Well, there was no remedy for any of us, but the critic, I think, was the worst hurt" A curious phenomenon came under my eyes on Saturday, which goes to illustrate the disa greeable side of a locomotive engineer's life. Seated In the corner of the car nearest to the locomotive of the fastest local express that runs out of this city, the Beaver Falls express, on the Fort Wayne, a clear view of the ' track ahead was afforded me. It was sno-KTng just enough to make it difficult to see more than 200 yards ahead of the train. As soon as the train clears the city limits it runs at a speed ranging from 30 to 60 miles an hour, and often for a mile or two strikes a steady gait of not less than a mile a minute. At Jack's Bun station I saw a man deliberately cross the track not oO yards ahead of our train. When we came to Bellevue station a small boy waited on the south side of the track till the train was less than 50 yards away, and then ran over to the north side. For a moment I thought the boy was under the wheels, so nar rowly did he escape. Thereafter for a distance of a mile or so at every station, and at every possible crossing, some one appeared to be waiting to put his life in jeopardy. Perhaps locomotive engineers get used to avoiding involuntary manslaughter by a hair's breadtb, with an occasional exception where a human being is knocked into the next world as a reward for bis foolbardlness, but the unhard enea traveler cannot help bnt wish that rail road tracks were better inclosed, and that the penalty for trespassing on them were high and regularly enforced. .DREXEL'S PHILANTHROPY. The felto Selected for the Female Industrial College. Philadelphia, March II. A project that has oeen contemplated for some time by Mr. A. J. Drexel has been put in practical shape by the purchase of the Louella mansion at Wayne, Delaware county, and the selection of trustees and managers for the "Drexel Indus trial College lor Women." The object of the Institution, as set forth in the charter, is to in struct females between the ages of 13 and 19 years in all duties appertaining to the care of a household, and to teach such trade3 and busi ness as will make them practical women, able to earn a respectable livelihood. The benefits of the coll ere aro tobe extended, first, to the daughters of clergymen and second to daughters of respectable parents who, through adverse circumstances, are unable to give their children proper training and educa tion. The entire expense of the purchase, new structures and endowment will be met by Mr. Drexel, and the amount it Is said, will reach $1,500,000. In connection with the college, in struction will be given upon the plan of the Cooper Institute, Dy which pupils will derive tuition .while residing at their own homes. FORCED TO DECLINE WITH THANKS. A Yale Professor Unable to Become Secre tary Busk's Assistant. Special Telegram to the Dlsnatcn. New Haven, Conn., March It Prof. Will iam H. Brewer has been asked to allow his name to be used in connection with the First Assistant Secretaryship under Jeremiah Busk, Secretary of the Agricultural Department Secretary Busk Is not only willing but anxious to have Prof. Brewer accept the position, in order that he may be a counsellor on arranging the laying out of the work of the new depart ment. A dispatch has been received from headquarters to the effect that should Prof. Brewer allow his name to be used his Im mediate appointment would follow. The recent death of his wife and his own ill i health led the professor to decline. Prof. Brewer holds the "JXorton Professorship of Agriculture" In the Sheffield Scientific Depart ment, and is an acknowledged authority on all matters pertaining to agriculture. A TOTJNG LADI DIES OF NOSEBLEED. Singular and Fatal Termination of a Cold In the Hend. Special Telegram to The DlSDatch. Poughkeepsie, N.TT., March 16. Miss Lulu May Mackinlay, of New York, died at Vassar College Sunday morning. A few days ago she became slightly ill of what was apparently a cold in the head. It becoming serious she went to the intlnriary andwas put under treatment Suddenly on Thursday she was attacked with bleeding at the nose, and the college physician bad great difficulty in checking the flow of blood. Every effort was made to stop the flow of blood. Partial success was met but each re turning hemorrhage was worse than Its pred ecessor, and the young lady finally died of exhaustion. Funeral services were held at the college to-day, and the body removed to New York. DEATHS OP A DAL Mrs. Rev. W. B. Hamilton. WASHINGTON, PA., March It A letter received here to-day announces the death of Mrs. Rev. W. B. Hamilton, January1 10, last, at Chlnafa, China. In company with "her young husband she left Washington In September last. A few 'days after their arrival Mrs. Hamilton was taken 111 with consumption, and a week later died. Deceased graduated at the seminary here In 1SS5. iler father is a resident of Bellevernon, Pa. Mrs. Margaret Craig;. Mrs. Margaret Craig died yesterday at the ad vanced agte of 82 years. She has been a resident of Pittsburg for nearly d years. Until a few days days ago she was able to visit her children. Her memory was clear and bright until the last. She was the mother of Mr. 11. Craig and James M. Craig, who, with four daughters, surylTS her. The pallbearers will be eight grandsons. John Mnhon. CONNELL6VHJ.E. March U.-John Mahon, one of the most widely known residents of Connells vllle, died at his home on Water street yesterday, aged 75 years. He was a former resident of Pitts burg. The remains will be Interred Wednesday, morning. - $, -- " v TUESDAY, MAECH .12, AT THE THEATERS. Tho Henrietta Revealed Ballets and Scenery Other Plays. In spite of the obliging hInts.of the lucky elect who saw Bronson Howard's "The Henri etta" In New York most Pittsburgers till now have been at a loss, to know what "The Henri etta" might be. Was it a chestnut filly, a ballet girl, the witch of Wall street or whatf Now, everybody who has a small store of com to spare can discover hat "The Henrietta" is one of the best if not the best of comedies written by an Ameri can author. Last night "The Henrietta" was produced at the Grand Opera House before an apprecia'tive audience. Taking the perform ance as a whole it is.the best Pittsburg is likely to see in a long while. Seldom is a company so carefully and artistically combined sent upon the road to play to provincials. The provincials may, with a good deal of gratitude, take off their hats to Messrs. Robson and Crane. The strength of "The Henrietta"-lies equally In plot Bitnatlon and dialogue. The plot is in genious and absolutely new. and thongh the possibility of a shrewd old broker like Nicholas Yanalstyne fighting his own son and partner on the stock market without knowing who his adversary was may be doubted, the lines of the plot are led so deftly to a climax that in the in tense interest excited the unreality of the mo tive is lost sight of. The situations are con ceived with a- wonderful eye to effect The glimpse of "Old Nick's" character which his words, "Not a cent .the blanked young pauper, not a cent more, I'll turn him adrift on the world,1' at the end of act I afford strikes like a ham mer on a plear bell, the tone of the play. The most dramatic situation is that which con cludes act U. The younger brother, the hope less dnde, heroically shields the elder in si lence throwing the criminating letter, that would Clear hiirs, into the fire. The comedy Itself the main skeleton of the piece, exhibits Mr. Howard's fancy in lt3 hap piest expression. The interview between the old bull of the Exchange and the fashionable widow; in which the former Is trying to watch the course of the stockmarket on the ticker and to propose to the lady at the same time, is deliciously funny. So in everything that in volves either of the principal actors, Messrs. Robson and Crane. ' Nowas to these principalsi one might write all night and yet fall to convev how natural and bow harmonious is the old stockbroking king of Wall street of Mr. Crane, and how en tirely laughable from make up to the accent in his laconic utterances is the Anglomaniacdnde of Mr. Robson. They have caught the idea ofthe dramatist; they have photographed two Ameri can types of character, and with just a shade of exaggeration present the pictures In the ad mirable frame provided for them. Some may say Mr. Crane grimaces a little too much, or Mr. Robson relies too often on tricks of his throat and eyes, but no one can deny that they have stolen a couple of cartoons from nature's magazine and reproduced them with truth and spirit But not all the good acting was had from the stars. Mr. Charles Kent was powerful, though perceptibly striving after the Irringesque in his characterization of the villain, Nicholas VanaU ityne, Jr. His death as far as the physical phe nomena were concerned was terribly realistic. Mr. George Woodward, a triumphant carica ture in make-up of the fashionable minister, was excellent So was Miss Ellie Wilton as the sprightly widow. All the rest of the com pany can be accorded praise in different de gress, excepting possibly Mr. Lorlmer Stoddard, who makes the burlesque of an English lord so thoroughly absurd and unllfellke, that the real satire in the character is concealed. The scenery and every adjunct to the play is of the best The production is delightful in every aspect nijon Theater. There was a perfect jam of people at the Bijou Theater last night Every seat was filled; the standing room was all occupied and the demand for tickets at the box office continued long after all available space In the house was sold. Apparently there has heen no attraction in town this season which the publio was more anxious to see. Andyetitistobe feared that the more intelligent element in the large audience found the much-heralded pro duction of "The Twelve Temptations" hardly up to their expectations. Aside from its brilliant spectacular effects there is nothing in thepiece that calls for serious criticism. The scenery is elaborate and abund ant and much of it exquisitely beautiful. Among the representations are a wreck at sea, the ice floes ot the Northern Ocean, the coun cil chamber of Boreas, the palace of Zero, the snow Queen, and other scenes that are marvels of stage magnificence. The whole Is admirably managed, and the changes from one scene to another are made with such rapidity and ease that the result is like a grand panorama, af fording a constant succession of novelties and surprises. The dialogue amounts to nothing. It is mere bombast without plan or purpose, save only to Introduce a variety of tricks and clownish acts more or less clever and amusing. The leading roles are evidently In the hands of inex perienced amateurs, and would be better In most cases If there were no speaking to do done. Some of the ladles have voices that would grate harshly on the ear of any man not accustomed to the noise of a machine shop. The ballet is sufficiently strong in point of numbers, bpt the dancing is of a very common- Slace order. Even the premieres danseuse are isappointlng. There Is an abundance of pretty girls, some agile acrobats and gymnasts, a marvelous green dragon, and some ingenious ly made-up Polar bears and trick donkeys on the whole enough to look, at as well as a liberal amount of horse play and original ruses to excite laughter. Judging by the applause so liberally be stowed the piece made a decided hit and will continue to draw crowded houses. There is enough that is attractive in the scenery alone to partially compensate for what is lacking elsewhere. Harris' Theater. The management of this house have an im portant task before them. Better means of handling the immense crowds that persist in attempting to get in the lobby at just the hour at which the curtain is advertised to ascend. The pressure yesterday afternoon was such as to break every pane of glass in the door. Long before 2 and 8 o'clock the well-used "standine room only" sign was brought out The attrac tion this week is not a new one, by any means, but It is one that never fails to do a big busi ness here. James H. Wallick, in 'The Cattle King," a real melodrama of the Wild West melodramatic kind, with his three well-trained horses, will play to the largest audiences of the season. The company Mr. Wallick has with him Is some thing of an improvement over that of last reason, with the possible exception of the young lady who essays the role of Catherine JPaxton, the heroine. The horses are as good actors as ever. "Bandit King" will be given beginning Thursday. Drnmntlc Notes, The' Casino Museum has many new attrac tions this week. Harry Williams' own company, with its many excellent features, was received with great favor at the Academy last night THE sale of seats for Emma Abbott's opera season at the Bijou begins on Thursday. The demand for seats is already so heavy that no doubt remains but that the popular company will achieve unusual success. Those popular favorites, Mr. and Mrs. W. J. Florence, will begin a week's engagement at the Grand Opera House next Monday evening, supported by the best company they have ever had, in the following repertoire of the success ful plays: Monday and Friday evenings, "The Mighty Dollar:" Tuesday, onlv time, :Dur Governor, or His Little Hatchet;" Wednesday and Saturday nights, Dickens' "Doiubey and Son," with Florence as Captain Cuttlc.hls greatest creation; Thursday evening and Satur day matinee, their latest success, "Heart of Hearts." will receive its, first presentation here. It is said to be unlike any of the plays yet presented by them, and both Mr. and Mrs. Florence appear In entirely original creations. This will be their farewell joint appearance, Mr. Florence having contracted to star with Jefferson next year, and Mrs. Florence will re tire from the stage. MORE PRECIOUS THAN GOLD. BABIUM sells for $975 a pound, when it is sold at all, and calcium 13 worth $1,800 a pound. Cerium is a shade higher its 'cost Is $160 an ounce, or $1,920 a pound. , , Gold Is worth about $210 per 'pound, troy; platinum $130, and silver about $12. Nickel would be quoted at about 60 cents, and pure aluminum $3 to $9 to the troy pound. These begin to look like fabulous prices, but they do not reach the highest point; chromium brings $200, cobalt falls to about half the price of silver, while didymlum is the same price as cerium, and erbium $10 cheaper on the ounce than calcium, or jnst $1,680 per pound. If the wealth of the Vanderbllts be not over stated, it amounts to nearly 200,000,000. With this sum they could purchase 312 tops of gold and have sometlfing left over, buttbey couldn buy two tons of gallium, that rare metal being worth $3,250 an ouncet With this metal the highest price Is reached, and it may well be called the rarest and most precious of metals. GLtJCTNtm Is worth $230 an ounce; indium, $158; Indium, $658 a pound; Ianthanlum, $175, and lithium $1C0 an ounce. Niobium costs $128 an ounce; asmium, palladium, platinum, potassium and rhodium bring respectively $610, $400, $130. $32 and $512 per pound. Strontium costs $128 an ounce ;.tantaum, $144; felurium, $9; thorium, $272: vanadium, $320; yttrium, $114, aitd zirconium $250 an ounce. 2 -S3BS?Bt: A CHANGE NEEDED. Echoes ot Last Week's Inauguration Crush Only One Mnn From Ohio Who Wanted No Office Blerry Under Difficulties. .-BPECIAI. IILEOBAM TO THE IUSPATCIM Washington, March U. After the passage of these six' or severidays since that terrible 4th of March, the town has almost assumed its 'normal appearance. Most of the visitors (who still remain are of that class which will always increase so long as the Government pays better wages for shorter hours than are paid by private emnlovers. There are more of these office- 1 seekers than ever before, and they seem to be of a better type than ever before. Few oi tne bummer element are seen. I thought I had struck one of that kind last evening, however. Walking along the avenue past the entrance to a prominent saloon, a big fellow came out of the door and down the steps, like a small cy clone and fell upon the sidewalk with a force that would have broken every bone in the body of a sober man. "1 thought it was up hill instead of down, out of the qussed place," he Said, when he had pulled himself together a little. 1 assisted him to a seat on the curbstone and suggested he had better call a cab and go home. "By George, that's what I want to do. I've been here five days ana feeling good all the time. Come to think of it, guess Pve missed the 'nauguratlon. Show's over, Isn't it !" "Probably you are waiting to get an office," said L "No, sir," he shouted, "I'm not here for an office, but I'm from Ohio, and I'm the only man in Washington from that State who doesn't want an office." i A Chance foV Wlsbart. The free-and-easy character of last Sunday has terriDiy shocked the sensibilities of those who are rigid in their observance of the day, and indignant resolutions are being adopted by most of the churches condemning the contempt for law shown by Congress and the city authori ties. The advocates or strict Sunday rest have made herculean efforts to influence the two bodies which govern the District Congress and the Commissioners, and thought they bad had some effect Never before were the Commis sioners so rigid In their enforcement of the Ifcense laws as within the last few months. For weeks some of the most prominent hotels and restaurants were refused license on account of their infraction of the law against selling on Sunday, and several popular resorts were forced to go through with the performance of a change of proprietors, either real or sham, to secure the required franchise. But on Sunday every one of these places which had been under a cloud, as well as others which had not been, ran at full blast, with wide open doors and with such scenes of corousal as rarely have been witnessed before in Washing ton. Tho rain outside drove everybody indoors who could get in. Revelry was unchecked.and the most serious of Christian politicians ap peared to be mingling with the Philistines to tally oblivious of the sacred character of the day. The cashier of the popular resort tells me that his house took in over $3,000 on that Sunday, and on Monday upward of $4,000. Beer was sold at the usual price, but the glasses had double the ordinary foam. Thetwo-for-a-quar-ter drinks were 15 cents straight or 20 cents; oysters 40 cents instead of 25. and so on. One can guess at the profit made during those four or five days at these prices. Wages of servants and employes of all kinds were doubled and trebled, and with all that the good servants seemed to have disappeared. At one of the best restaurants of the city I was waited on at luncheon by a fellow who was so drunk that he emptied the soup In my lap, and when I complained to the proprietor that worthy informed me that the man was worth $10 an hour to him, drunk or sober, for he could not ;et another for that pay, and he was then short-handed. He was absolutely at the mercy of such help as he could secure,-and that was bad enough. Merry Under Difficulties. But the good temper maintained under all the discomfort of the season wa3 something admirable. There were surprisingly few rows, and those who spent most of the time in the streets absolutely appeared to enjoy tramping about In the mud and rain. It was a sight to see refined-looking ladles on all sides on the day of the inauguration splashing throngh'the pools and slush, holding their skirts up in the moat sensible manner, water spirting out of their shoes at every step, merry as though they were in their own drawing rooms, and joking at the very worst and most dangerous phases of the day. Ol course there have been many deaths and there will be many more,, on account of the ex- Sosure, and many a case of consumption will ate from that day, but- Inaugurations mast be had, and if the people are always so merry and good tempered I fancv only heaven and not the other place will be recruited from those who die. Too Much of a Good Thing. It would seem that the weather of the Fourth, and the experiences of that time, en dured by those who are capable of influencing legislation, must result in the change of the day of the installation of the President and Vice President And it seems tome, more over, that the handshaking and other kinds of persecution to which President Harrison has been compelled to submit since his election, and more especially since his inauguration must bring about a revolution of public senti ment with regard to these performances. It has become not only an abuse of decency, but an actual menace to the health and life of the President and his wife, or the lady who takes charge of the household of the Presi dent and so is forced to pose as "the first lady of the land," as though there could be any first lady where one is as good as another. Mrs. Cleveland was young and strong, but even she was completely worn out at times with the siege of a great reception, and on the occasion of the last public affair of that kind previous to the change. Mr. Cleveland was torced to order the doors closed before the mob had half been filed through the mansion. I call it a "mob," because those noon whom the doors were closed indulged in very un seemly conduct and at one time it looked as though the discontent might develop into a small riot Plenty of Visitors. The abuse is increasing with the increase of the vast crowds who nowmake Washington the Mecca of the year. Every month the number of visitors Increases, and it will soon come to pass. If the custom be not abolished, that the President and his family will be able to do nothing but attend to the demands of the thousands of curious who merely burn to say when they go home that they have seen and shaken hands with the President and "the first lady of the land." Their entire time will be occupied in this manner, to say nothing of the dangers arising from the physical Strain. Already President Harrison has been forced to abandon the hand-wringing part of the cus tom, to a great extent, and at this some grieve and some curse. Some of the scenes are lu dicrously pathetic. One old Republican has attended the receptions every day this week without having had a chance to shake the hand of Mr. Harrison, and when asked to-day if he I had any special business with the Ptesident be answered in a tremulous tone mat be just wanted to touch the hand of a Republican President before he djed. But a vast majority of those who make up the crowds who seem to want to wring the'life and strength out of Mr. and Mrs. Harrison, are merely curious and thoughtless, and desire to only tell their friends at borne that they have touched the coats or the paws of some of the social and political lions of the day. The abuse is about to correct itself, however, and the prospects are that very soon a Pres ident will attract as little attention In his com ing and going, and at his residence, as the kings and queens of the East It is a remark able fact that the President of the French Re public can drive along the Champs Elysees, King Humbert and.hls wife through the Crfrso and among the crowds on the Pincian Hill. King William down the Linden and about the public drives of the Xhiergarten, and the Prince of Wales and his wife upPlccadilly and along the royal drive In Hyde Park, without attract ing half the, attention that Is excited when the President of the United States drives the length of Pennsylvania avenue, and little cu riosity to see them is manifested at any time, except on the occasion of a royal fete, or show of some kind, and then the foremost of the curious crowds are usually visiting Americans. E.W.L. GERMANS LEAD THE LI8T. The Annual Report of tbe Arrivals at Castle i Garden. ' N.EW York. March 11. The forty-second annual report of tbe Board of Emigration Com missioners, as prepared for the Legislature, shows In substance that during tbe year 1888 the total number of passengers from all foreign ports landed in Castle Garden was 370,822 (237, 856 males and 132, 9G0 females). Tbe nationalities chiefly represented were Irish, 44,300; English, 38,355; German, 78,145; French, 1 ess tbarr 6,000; Russian, 33,052; Swedish, 37,931; Italian. 43,927: Australian. 16; Chinese, 6. Of the total number of Immigrants, 67,518 were under 15 years of age; 265,005 over that age and under 40; 37,799 oyer 40 years. -jrfij HETEOBOLITAN SILHOUETTES., Majbethe Judge Is Right. rsEW TOEK BUB1UJ SrZCIALS.1 Netv VpRK. March U.In instructing the March grand jury Judge Qildersleeve told them that they must be extremely caret aim their investigation of the elevated railroad charges: that lawyers had been guilty of crimes in stir ring up litigation in the way of damage suits against that corporation. The Judge plainly hinted that there was good reason to think that the railway company was trying to use the Criminal Court to save itself from just suits in the civil courts. The Coal Trade Aroused. Tbe entire coal trade 13 aroused over a prop osition of the Reading Company to maintain the winter schedule of rates throughout the summer. Rates for local consumption, It is claimed, have been cut and the regular sum mer schedule for many of the agents must be lower. Another bone of contention is the mat ter of reduced'prodnction for the year, begin ning April. It is supposed that there will be a falling off In consumption, and yet none of the companies care to reduce their output These questions will be settled at a meeting of the agents of the companies to-morrow. Taken Back to the Tombs. Arrangements of the prosecution of the Electric Sugar frauds are being pushed. Offi cers from the District Attorney's office made photographs to-day of the bogus refinery in Brooklyn and all Its alleged machinery. These will be used as part of the evidence against the quintet from Michigan now under arrest and indictment The prisoners were before Recorder Smyth this morning, and the bail in all the cases was fixed at $22,500 for each one. This they failed to furnish and were sent to the Tombs. new lit Is Not Slayor Now. Mayor Grant has gone completely back on the "parade policy" of his predecessor. The new.Mayor promised to-day that he would re view the pageant of the Irish societies when they turn out on St Patrick's Day. Pat Egnn Talks a Bit Patrick Egan is at the Astor House. Ho declines to discuss with reporters the proba bility of his appointment to a foreign mission. In regard to Pigott's forgeries, he says that he suspected the perjurer two years ago. After secunng the Times fac similles Mr. Egan sub mitted them, with some of Pigott's hand writing, to several Nebraska experts, and his suspicions were confirmed. Then followed the collection of documentary evidence and the trip of Father Dooney to warn Mr. Parnell. Egan says that the idea of allowing all Irish societies who pay the per capita assessments representation in the Philadelphia convention was adopted to raise more money and to drown the cry that the convention would be In the hands of any clique. Nevertheless, the League would still be the dominant power in Irish affairs In America. MRS. CLEVELAND'S FIEST L0TE. An Actor Says He Was Once Engaged to Miss Frances Folsoni. Detroit, March 1L There was a rumor at the time of President Cleveland's marriage that Miss Folsom had been betrothed to a young man ot her own age and that the en gagement had been suddenly broken off. Ed ward Bell, the actor, is now said to have been the man who was ousted from the young lady's affections by Mr. Cleveland. The actor left his dressing room last night after the per formance of "Fasclnation,''in wich he is sup porting Cora Tanner. "Yes," said he, "it is true that I was once en gaged to Miss Folsom. It Is a fact I have wished little to be said about it, as it is rather personal, but there are a great many stories about it that are not true." "How did the engagement come to be broken?" Mr. Bell answered this question with a glance that meant Mr. Bell himself had a great deal to do with the breaking off of the engagement and that he did his part first. "I left my home soon after the affair," said he, "and went to New York, with the idea of following the stage. J have been acting now for about two years. I think I should be con tent, for I never made any great effort to pre vent the change that occurred a few vears ago. Since those days, when Miss Folsom and Xtook the leading roles in amateur theatricals, she has been the leading lady of the land, and I have acted the bold hero of a love story my self." THOMAS JEFFERSON'S BUST. Tho First Statue of a Vice President to Adorn tho Senate Chamber. Washington, March 1L Several years ago the Senate by resolution authorized the pur chase of busts of all the Vice Presidents of the United States who have presided over tbe United States Senate since tbe foundation of the Government These busts were to be placed in the various niches in and about the Senate chamber. There were three Vice Pres idents Jiving at that time Hamlin. Wheeler and Arthur, and steps were immediately taken to secure busts while they yet lived. At the same time contracts were entered into for the purchase of busts of the earlier Vice Presi dents. The first to come to band is that of Thomas Jefferson. This was received at tbe capital a few days ago. It is made of white marble and is of heroic size. The exact location has not yet been determined upon. INSISTS UPON HIS RIGHTS. General Bntler Gets 83 for Damage Dons to His Glass Plot by Militia. Special Telegram to The Dispatch. Washington, March 1L General Benja min F. Bntler is a man of rigid business, and insists upon what he thinks is due him from a business standpoint to the turning of a hair. This is well illustrated to-day by his action in sending in to the Inaugural Committee a bill for $3 for damage to the sodding In front of his mansion near the Capitol, through it being trampled upon by the militia. The bill was paid. The entire damage to the Pension build ing, where the great ball was held, was only $21 The Townshend Obsequies Postponed. Washington, March H. Owing to the ill ness of Mrs. Townshend and her daughters, it ha3 been determined to postpone for the pres ent the taking of the remains of Representative Townshend to Illinois. The funeral will take place in this city to-morrow morning, at 10 o'clock, and the remains will be deposited in a vault in one of the cemeteries of the city. ' ' Paris Going Mad. From the London Globe. What with Boulangcr, the Exhibition, the Ministerial crisis and the inundations, Paris is going quite mad. It is partly in Seine al ready. . In a Prohibition State. From the Portland (Me.) Press. J How many times is a man to be allowed to have his physician's prescription refilled under the apothecary bill? As often as his quart is exhausted. CAUGHT ON THE GRIP LINE. A man stood under an old oak tree One bright and sonny morn. And when a pain shot through his foot He stooped and found a corn. Andy It Is very evident that Mr. Harrison don't intend to give his personal attention to the management ef the affairs ofthe country. Zandy Why? Andy Because he has chosen a Proctor. You can tell if a woman has seen little Lord Fauntleroy by the way she dresses her small boy? Kid McKee Grandpap, I wish you would get Uncle Knssell to give you that hand painted bat he won on your election. President H. Why so, cnte one? Kid McKee Because when I run for the Presi dency I want my grandfather's bat to be a dandy; Margy Mr. Slowboy, the poet called on me last night Dargy How did you like him? ( Margy Very well, Indeed; but I don't think he wlli ever call again. DargTr-Wby, did you Insult him? Margy-Won't think I did. You know, he said he 'was going to adopt a nom de plume, and he asked me to suggest something. Dargy Well, did you do it? Margy Yes; I suggested Hoosae Tunnel. Dargy And why such a name as that? Margy Because It's the biggest bore In the United States. What shall we call the baby, John? I don't like the family name; Blssell, - Well, then, my dear, don't call him. at all; v VI think he will come If we whistle. .'' .,& C'Sr C.2 ' ' cdkiods'condensAtiobs. , There are 14 Indians in the Karuaa penitentiary. ' A cat 19 years old is la be seen in tha family of N. B. Shaw, Acra, Green county, N.Y. A farmer living near Attica, Kan., will cultivate 70 acres of watermelons on his farm this year. J. H. Bowman cangbt a tfe- eagle ia Oklahoma March 4. He picked outthe largest quill. 18 inches long, fashioned It into a pea and sent it to the President Peach stones find ready sale at $6 per ton In Vaca Valley, Cat- They are used m fuel, "burning as long as coal and giving; mora heat" Apricot stones are also burned. A well 60 feet deep is not a pleasant place to spend one's time In. "Vio Harris, ol Federal, Kan., will testify to this, having fallen Into one last week, 'and remained there from noon Until midnight The historio old town of Litchfield, Masi, intends to preserve Its antique flavor by the introduction of the old English custom ot market day once a week. The first ona has already been observed and proved a great success. Miss Mildred Maddox, of Brewton, Ala dressed up as a tramp and attempted to frighten her mother. The disguise was per fect, and Mrs, Maddox emptiedthe contents of a shotgun into her daughter's body. The girl will recover. , . Trades people and shopkeepers in Bus sian Poland are being compelled to sign an agreement not to use the Polish language among themselves or to customers. For, the first breaking of the agreement they are fined, and if they break it twice their shops are closed by the police. Mrs. TvW. Corbettwent to the rescue of a young mocking bird in a cage upon her back piazza at St Augustine, Fla.. the other day. A small hawk had him by the wing en deavoring to pull him through the wires, while tbe young bird braced himself in opposition and lustily squeaked. In a store in Perry, Ga., there are soma young Irish potatoes, about the size of a com mon acorn, that have grown this season In the barrel in which the seed potatoes were shipped. There is no semblance oi bush, but the young potatoes have simply grown out from the old potatoes. At the sale of Mrs. Jameson's collection of colonial and revolutionary documents In Boston a day or so ago the signatures of Ethan Allen, John Qnlncy Adams and Benedict Ar nold brought $25 each. A proclamation for Thanksgiving Day issued by President Wash ington was sold for $109. A gentleman living at Marietta, Ga., is thoroughly temperate as to ardent spirits, but never drinks anv water. He confines him self to milk and coffee, and seems to enjoy as much health as the usual run of mankind. He says he has no particular aversion to water, but has no desire to drink it Two colored men were seated in front of a colored saloon fronting the bay at St August ine, Fla., recently. One held In hi3 hand a re volver they bad been examining, wben by some careless movement It Was discharged. The ball passed through the other hand of the owner and both hands of his companion. The Philadelphia and Beading Bail road Company is. about to adopt the Pennsyl vania Company's system of having one kind of whl3tle for passenger locomotives, and another style tor freight engines. This win enable sta tion operators, switch tenders,and signal tower men to know exactly what is approaching. The electrical apparatus by which doomed criminals will be put to death in New York consists of a chair, probably of iron. Tho current will be sent from arm , to arm of ths subject or from the head to the spine. The exact location of the poles will, no donbt, vary with the subject and the opinion of physicians. An old negro walked into one of the stores at .Vienna, La last week and offered some eggs for sale. The merchant proffered him 15 cents per dozen for them in trade. The negro scratched his head a minute, and said: "Boss, dem white folks dun tola me not to take lessen 12 cents far dese yere eggs, and I 'spects I better take 'em back home." A citizen of Marietta, Ga., who does business in Atlanta, comes home nearly every 'day and returns. He has a dog that is a great pet During the week days that dog never at tempts to follow him from the house. On Sun day the dog seems to know that tbe Sabbath day has arrived, wben Its master will remain at home, and he no sooner starts to the square than the doe follows close at his heels, and re mains with him all day. There's a gander in Coweta county, ' Georgia, that has recently been bereft" of its mate. He has since taken up with a rooster and is trying to learn how to crow, but so far without s'uecess. When tbe rooster flaps his wings to crow the gander does likewise, and stretches his neck in a vain effort to Imitate the music of the chanticleer. He tries hard to fly up on the roost and is very affectionate In his attentions to the rooster. At Albany, Ga., the other night during; the prevalence of an unusually severe rain storm, a prominent gentleman had a most thrilling experience. He was passing through his dining room on the way to the pantry when he saw a figure standing before him. Ha thought it was his daughter, and spoke to her. The figure made no reply, but moved slowly along. He could hear tne rustling of her gar ments, and feeling certain that it was his daughter, he continued to converse, with her, calling her by name. The female went ahead of him to the pantry. Surprised by her silence as he reached the pantry, be put out his hand to touch her, when to his nnspeakable horror tbe figure instantly vanished. There was no way of egress by which the strange visitor could have escaped. The gentleman fell to tha floor with fright and his hair literally stood on end. He is certain that he had a vision of a visitor from tha world of spirits. His daugh ter, who was in the parlor, hearing his voice, called to kim to know If he had called her. She had nqt been in the room. CLIPPED BITS OF" WIT. It isn't easy to write poetry, but it is a good deal easier than It Is to stop some people from trying to. It is not true that Anthony Comstock has ordered the hoops of the barrel worn Inside. Omaha World. It isn't always the man who wears the largest hat who knows the most bot generally he he Is the man who thinks he daet.SomercilU Journal. Most hermits lead their lives of loneliness because they were disappointed lnIove. Those of us who have seen-them think it no wonder that they were. Amateur (showing his wife about tha studio.) That is my last picture. Fond wife Ah I If 1 were only sure ofjt ifar pr' Bazar. IN A NUT STTTXT, Chicago girls always learn easily to walk on snow shoes. This may be because they ara exceptionally bright, or It may be due to tbelr re markable understanding. , "I don't care very much for the frieze, but I'd Hie a dago. What have you In the way of dagos?" And the wall-paper man went Into the back room and had a At. Harper') Bazar. Mrs. Thompson (to new maid.) Bridget, you did not put quite enough tea In the pot this cup of teals very weak. Bridget Indade, mum. faith and Oi did pnt moTe'n enough tay lu the pot but Oi think Ol must av puts little too much wather In ft. .Har per' Bazar. Young lady (to turnkey). Can I taka these flowers to the prisoners, sir? Turnkey Yes, mem, the thieves and pick pockets '11 be glad to get'em. They dotes on flowers. But there ain't no murderers in now, mem. The last one waspardoned out yesterday. Young Lady Oh, I am so sorry. Ttie Epoch. . NOT SO MAD AFTER AXXt iPhysician Your husband is quite deliri ous and seems utterly out of his mind. 'Has he ' recognized any one to-day? , Wife Oh. ves. He called me a dragon.thls morning, and be constantly speaks of (he govern ess as an angel. Boitoa Beacon. , ,' Dude (entering Delmonico's, to waiter; the dude carries a heavy stick with an enormous horse's head. -Hat waiter. -J Walter Yes, sir. j wuue irfKtt, waiter, Walter Yes sir. Dude Cane, waiter. J Walter-Yes, sir. Have It blanketed, slr?-i(. TJNDULT SENSITIVE. 2&' The humorist bought a type writing machine To save wear and tear on his thumb, - (Yi To writ all bis Jokes to the "cllck-cHek-elleks" That e'er with the typewriter come. Bnt the very ors Joke thlt he wrote was about Old Saturn being ruled by a ring. And he got very mad and smashed his machine 'When it said as he finished "Tlng-tlng." Whence It Is to be seen that the proverb of eld . Throagh the ages has not been a loser ' In the matter of truth with which it Is fraughti - Guilty conscience needs ne'er an aecuserjist -CarlyU SmWt, in Mtuytr't Xuar, '-z. fA. .' i' v- tc& f, 4 SMk.5?', .. . 41 P '-A i& ft L&Zi'ZiSA: jb&Asraii&i&l -4afeJL. . .. .Ja. i L-,'Wittf...1 X.VK431 I33EQ