cea ""Vw".,;??? fUje BippMj. ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8. IS46. Vol. 44, No. 10. Entered at 1'lttsburg Po6t oSce, N0TCiaberl4, 1SS7, as seeona-ciass matter. Business Ofllco 97 and 09 Fifth Avenue. News Rooms and Publishing: House 75, 77 and 79 Diamond Street. ThU paper bavins moro than Double the circulation ofony other in ibe State ouulde of Philadelphia, Its advantages as an adver tising medinm will be apparent. TEIUDJ OF THE DXSPATCH. rOSTAGE TREE Df TOE CTOTED STATES. nin-T HisPATCn. One Year. t 800 Uatlt Disr-ATCH. l'er Quarter .. 200 ... Dailt Dispatch. Oncilonth ...... Daily Dispatch, including Sunday, ens year ; 190 Daily DisrATcn, including sway, per quarter . Daily Dispatch. Including fcunday. ona month. - EtrNDAT Dispatch, oneyear. " Weekly Dispatch, one year .... 1 - 7 he Daily Dispatch U delivered by carriers at 15 cents per week, or including the Sunday edition, at SOcents per week. Voluntary contributors should keep copiet of r article. If compensation it desired the price crpected must be named. The courtesy of re turning rejected manuscripts will be extended when stamps for that purpose are enclosed, but the Editor of llfE Dispatch unll under no circumstances be responsible for the care of un solicited manuscripts. PITTSBURG, SUNDAY. FE& 17, 1SS9. A SATISFACTORY BACK DOWN. The Pennsylvania Supreme Court has distinguished itself once more by overturn ing its own decision and holding that the limitation of damages to be secured in the case of death by accident was. repealed by the Constitution. This is a decided improvement on the former ruling of the court that the act could not be repealed by the constitutional enact ment. The reasoning of the court as sum marized in the report elsewhere, is clear and unquestionable, the act of 1868 limiting damages was a contract without consider tion; the right of repeal still lay in the Legislature; and a fortiori it lay in the Constitution-making power. This puts an end to the anomaly ol paying less in damages for the wanton destruction of a life, than the corporations for whose benefit the law was enacted, pay yearly in salary to a third class official. But is it not a rather telling commentary upon our administration of law that it is 15 years after a constitutional provision has been enacted, before the Supreme Court will uphold it. A BULE OF SELECTION. The annual appeal to city people to go to the polls in February and vote for the "best men" for Councils is so old, so familiar, that every reader who is of age must be able to repeat the incantation in some one of the numerous forms in which the newspapers present it. From very use and custom the advice long ago lost its freshness and force; and, as time rolls on, the Councils of one term are seen to be very much like their predecessors. It may be that if in the present year of . grace the formula is again trled.it will have no more effect in getting, in every instance, a transcendantly superior quality of Council man; but at any rate it can do no harm to state the plain truth thai the coming year ih considerably more important to Pittsburg and Allegheny than any which went before. There is an immense lot of work which the needs of the growing cities require should be done. The question of expense in all the departments is, likewise, always present. There are half a dozen subjects ofprime im portance even now pending at Harrkburg, such as railroad crossings, street improve ments, electric lighting and passenger rail way bills, upon which Councils should have the first say. All these things, and many more, will affect the interests, the pockets and the sentiments of tax payers in time to come. Of course there should be capable and fit men in Councils to judge of the right and the wisdom of the questions herein involved. There are very few citizens who, each ia his own precinct, cannot tell which candi date he would vote for if his own private business, in place of the city's, were at stake. By applying that simple test the best selections in nine cases out of ten are sure to be made. There is no other rule. W0X WAEBAHTS NOT BOOKmB. It is rather satisfactory than otherwise to find that the conservative members of the pig iron industry are disposed to look very coolly upon the project of turning their staple into a football of speculation. The example of the crude petroleum interest fur nishes them with a warning that most of them are ready to lay to heart. Those who produce iron that is fit for nothing else than to gamble with, may hail the warrant scheme as establishing a market for their production; but the great mass of manufac turers will do wisely to continue as hereto fore selling their metal on its merits and permitting the markets to be ruled by the free action of supply and demand. If any warrant scheme is to be undertaken the iron men might follow the example of the silver men, and demand that the Government shall issue the certificates for all the metal they deposit, and make the certificates a le gal tender for all debts, public and private. That would make a general boom in other things besides iron warrants until the bub ble burst. CHTJECHES AND CHEISTIAHITY. The remarkable utterances of the sexton or manager of a New York church, who turned a strange lady out of a pew in that fashionable edifice because the pew did not belong to her, has created a good deal of dis cussion. It is no more than fair to say that the pastor and wardens of the church dis avow the action of their representative, and declare that strangers are welcome to their church. Nevertheless the idea that peo ple who pay for expensive pews in high toned churches, have the right to be exclu sive and are outraged if they must .be crowded by unknown persons, makes itself heard. The following from the editorial columns of the Philadelphia Press is an ex ample: W hen a stranger in a large city goes to hear Booth or Barrett in tragedy or Christine Nils son or Madame Pattl in opera he pays from $2 to $5 for his seat and would think it an un speakable outrage if his stall were encroached upon. But he will present himself at the door of one of the costliest churches in a city and become speedily indignant if he is not shown to a pew, every seat in which bag been rented for more than he paid for bis opera stall. This is just the idea of the New York sexton,to the effect that he does "not care for salvation; it is the dollars that are wanted." It the chnrch rests on the same basis as the theaters the logic is indisputable. But there is an avowal by every church that it professes and tries to practice the principles taught by Christ. These principles cannot possibly be mistaken for lack of definite statement. "When we find such a contrast to the rale of conduct laid down in the direction to the rich man to "sell all thou hast and give unto the poor," as is afforded by the rich men who object to let the poor sit beside them in the services that are sup posed to worship the Teacher of that doc trine, it is a remarkable instance of the gap that can exist between profession and prac tice. We think that the great value and strength of the Christian chnrch oT to-day lies in the fact that the mass of the churches are sufficiently cognizant of the principles they profess to avoid such undisguised ex hibitions of selfishness as this example. Christianity is taught in most of the churches; and to the degree in which it Is taught the influence of those organizations for good is live and effective. But there is hardly a more decisive corroboration of the deadening influence upon a church of making money a leading criterion than this practical denial of the doctrine that, in the worship of the Maker, all men are equal. In this particular respect the Catholic Chnrch shows a greater appreciation of its doctrines than any other denomination, by making everyone equal in the place of wor ship. Prince and peasant, millionaire and beggar worship side by side in the sanctua ries of that denomination, and to that fact may be attributed a great share of its vi tality and its hold upon the common people. But even in this church there has recently been a remarkable exhibition of the differ ence which it can make whether influence or great power is confronted, instead of weakness or obscurity. The denial of Christian burial to John McGuire, of 3few York, because he held erroneous views on taxation, while the same rite was granted to Prince Eudolf, of whose death the most creditable explanation was suicide, is sn addition to the long list of proofs that the mundane representatives of religion are often prone to forsake their principles in order to flatter or conciliate the great, rich and powerful. Nevertheless the power of Christianity is most fully shown in that, despite such ex hibitions of inability to appreciate its teach ings, it still lives and furnishes the light of the world. THE NECESSABY.ItEStrLT. Prof. Shalers special contribution in an other column, shows how the exactions of the copper syndicate in cornering the mar ket for that metal, and establishing exor bitant prices, has caused such an active search for new mines and such an increase of production, that it is on the point of breaking down under the bnrden it has cre ated for itself. This sustains the rule which The Dis patch has always urged, that nnless such a combination has the power to exclude new production by some lever either of control ling transportation, or owning patents, or fastening its grip on a limited field of pro duction, it is sure to defeat itself. One or the other of these barriers to new competi tion has existed in the case of every combi nation; or else it has gone to pieces. But the fact thatsuch conspiracies against the liberty of commerce must eventually bring their own punishment, does not yfeld much solace to the people who are burdened by them while they last. The law should be powerful enough to punish such attempts in their inception, instead of letting them flourish without caring for the ruin that must succeed them. THE ELECTBIC LIGHT DUEL. The public will watch the outcome of the fieht between the two great electric light companies with keener interest than fthey follow the technical arguments of counsel. Here is an article coming into very general nse, passing in fact from the list of luxuries into the expanding category of necessities. Freely recognizing that the inventors and promoters of electric lighting should reap handsome rewards from their skill and energy, the public will still" regret any un happy chance that may turn this new article into a monopoly like the telephone. Of course the wishes or interests of con sumers will have no part in shaping events, but recent experience will cause an ex pression of feeling none the less. The ex tortions of trusts and combinations in almost all lines of business have led to a strong sentiment which, sometimes with good reason, takes certain phases of the manipulation of patents within the range of its antipathy. The big capitalization of both the Edison and Westinghouse companies, and the pro fits made by each concern, even when in competition, show that the demand for their wares gives elegant compensation as things now stand. If one concern get absolute control of electric lighting there will doubt less be many more "millions in it," but these millions will come from consumers' pockets; and for that reason the public will pray, if anything; for other Eichmonds to enter the field, rather than that either of the existing concerns should have new op portunities for the watering processes by which immense values in these days are cre ated, otten out of nothing more tangible than mere opportunities. THE BEGULAB SPECIFIC. Some of the principles or methods if they can be dignified by either term of the so called "Christianseience," as exemplified by a work recently published, arouses the sarcasm of the Buffalo Express. It quotes the following directions for treating a com mon ailment: Suppose you have a cold in your bead. You may find yourself much better, or even cured, by saying to yourself once, or several times In succeslon, or until you feel a change, as follows: "I deny the fact that I have anything tbe mat ter with me. I have no fear." (Lay great stress on this; say it very coolly and calmly; say It several times over, varying the words If you like.) "Sitting in draught has no power to give anybody a cold." (Here you can assign what ever reason tbe people around you Insist was the cause of your cold.) "My head is not heavy, my eyes are not swelled; I am not deaf and stupefied." (You can enumerate as many or as few symptoms as you like; bat mention them only to deny them, and do not think that tbe more effort you make to name all of them the better yon are treating yourself.) The judgment of our esteemed cotempor ary that this sort of denial of existing facts is "neither Christian nor science" can hardly be disputed; but it must be admitted that it is human nature. A very little thought will show that it is the treatment adopted by the greatest and most influen tial for the treatment of a good many worse troubles than a cold or any other mere bod ily disorder. Here is a monopoly that has crushed out all competitors. "When its exactions raise a public protest it adopts exactly the course prescribed above. By means of high priced attorneys it denies that it tries to monopolize the market; protests that it never receives special rates from the rail roads; declares that It does not try to crush rivals; and represents itself as a philan thropic institution, until "by the weight and respectability of its millions, it becomes so in the opinion of the publicists. A politi cal organization got up for the purpose of making money, effective in elections, takes the method of persistently protesting that it does nothing of the sort. A reform ad ministration puts an avowed spoilsman in charge of the reform and goes on protesting its fidelity to the reform principle. A great railroad combine organizes to force rates that will yield profits on watered stocksand protests that it does not intend to put any burdens on the public. "What are all these but the systematic declaration that the things that make the trouble do not exist, as recommended by the exponent of Christ ian Science? . If declaring that there are no monopolies, no political corruption, no betrayal of re form pledges will cure the corruption, monopolies and betrayals, why will not the "lie well stuck to" suffice as a specific for colds or any physical indisposition? The news that the parties indicted for that Federal street accident cannot be tried on the'graver charge of manslaughter will be received with a sense of thankfulness that they can be tried for anything at all. Out in Ohio the doctrine that "the greater the truth the greater the libel" does not seem to find much favor with the lower courts, at least A well-known citizen of Akron recently had his hands and feet frozen by the unusual, but not wholly inex plicable, act of going to sleep on the curb stone during a cold night One of his fam ily, learning that a paper was about to pub lish a statement to that effect, went to the office and destroyed the" form containing the article. .The court fined him 5100 and costs, with the outsp'oken declara tion that "the press must be protected in publishing the news of the day," and that whatever blame there was for such an article "should rest on the party that brought it on himself." Gentlemen who are in the habit of making a lodging of the sidewalk will regard this loosening of the libel with general disapprobation. The patriots who are desirous of serving their city in Councils are more than usually busy at present in convincing their con stituents that they should be permitted to sacrifice themselves. Mrs. Maby Dow, the President of the Dover, New Hampshire, street railway, reports an eleven per cent dividend, ad vanced wages, improved service and a sur plus in the treasury of the company, as the result of her first year's management of that corporation. This record of success in a novel field for woman's efforts may be taken as proof presumptive that Mr. Dow did not regard her work to lie exclusively in the manipulation of the market for alleged fifty-dollar shares on which ,ten dollars of cash is actually paid in. The extra session looms up as a warning to the Democrats that if they can possibly make a compromise on the tariff question in the next two weeks it will be money in their pockets to do it. One of the instructive features of the markets of tbe day is the promptness with which the millers boost the price of flour 30 cents when the price of wheat goes up 5 or 10 cents, and the firmness with which they do not reduce flour when wheat goes down. The danger lest the poor should be afflicted with cheap and superabundant bread ap pears to be fully guarded against. Notwithstanding the daily report of a decisive defeat or victory for one side or the other, the West "Virginia contest con tinues to maintain its chronic and malig nant form. Delta Lockwood's assertion that she "talked prohibition before the prohibition party was born" is rather severe in its re coil. As there was a party which supported practical prohibition in the shape of the Maine law when men now middle-aged were infants, this sets Belva down among the an tiquities. Supebindent Higbee'b clean coat of whitewash for the McAlisterville school is more conclusive in its ranking of Superin tendent Higbee than it is concerning the school, Another "princf " who has been atten tive to American heiresses, turns out to be an ordinary, vulgar criminal instead of a genuinely titled one. It will soon be ap parent to the nobility purchasers that the only Highness they can tie to is H. B. H. the Prince of Wales. Russian honors to Sir R. D. Morier are an affront to the German magnates, which can only be avenged by throwing some more of the late Emperor's friends in prison. The Edison-Westinghouse electric suits present the unusual feature of patent liti gation in which the public is not especially interested on either side. Consequently there is no side which has no chance of winning on the face of the case. The trial of the real issue in the Parnell case is just commencing. Heretofore it has been getting ready to commence. Eveby one is talking for a bull move ment in stocks and petroleum, but it is in structive to note how all the talkers are ready to dump their bundles on the market the first minute they think there is a good chance to unload. PB0MINENT PEOPLE. Mb. L. P. Morton will give the use of his Washington house to the ladies of the Garfield Memorial Hospital, for a charity art exhibi tion, before he takes possession of it next month. The only negro in the next National House of Representatives will be H. P. Cheatham, from the Second North Carolina District He is 82 years old and is a prominent man in his community. The dress that Mrs. Harrison SVM probably wear at the inauguration is of pearl-white brocade, made with a long train, the front of which is of almost solid gold embroidery. The corsage opens a little at the throat and shows a fall ruche of real old point lace. Tbe sleeTes reach the elbow. The State Senate of Delaware is a body of nine men whose principal occupation, accord ing to a correspondent is to sit around, tell stories and wait for the House to do some thing. When, a visitor appears they make a pretense of transacting business but the momenthe leaves they resume their occupation of killing time. The official jeweler of the Kappa Sigma Society is at work on a costjy badge that 'is to be presented to Miss Winnie Davis, the daugh ter of Jefferson Davis, in pursuance of resolu tions adopted at the last conclave of the fraternity, held in Atlanta. The badge will be in the form of a star and crescent fully jeweled with diamonds and rubies. Lord Rothschild is popular in London among the poor. "He is a good 'un, he is," said an omnibus driver, passing his palace. "If all the bloomin' swells was like him they should have my wote and interest" "How's that?" "Why, every Christmas he givs my mate and me a brace of pheasants, and so he do all of us wot passes his door. Good old Baron." The beeping letters which Mrs. Harrison re ceives from people who wish her to intercede with her husband to secure them an office number about 35 a day. As soon as Mrs. Har rison gets far enough along in the reading of a letter to ascertain that it Is of an office-seeking character she stops reading It at once and con signs it to tbe waste-basket The appeal is never, under any circumstances, brought to the attention of her husband. THE " PITTSBURG- DISPATCH, THE TOPICAL TALKER. Umbrellai and Those Wbo Stoal. Them Rachel' TJmbrel' Stocking! Wanted A Chapter on Chickens and Calves. Umbrellas yesterday were at a premium. The man that hadn't one, or couldn't borrow or steal one, was indeed to be pitied. No pity was wasted on me, for I stole one. It was my own, to be sure, but I hadn't seen it for so long that it was almost as pleasant as Stealing it when I borrowed it from the obliging friend who bad had the usufruct from it for many, many months. A plan a friend of mine has to circumvent tbe umbrella thief has some things to recom mend it He has a large tablet of silver riveted into the handle of his best silk umbrella, whereon is inscribed the following notice: , THIS UMBKELLLAIS STOLEN : ' Fitoa : ALPHABET SMITH. He says bo has found it operate very effect ually upon forgetful friends, but once it rather embarrassed him. He was traveling in a Penn sylvania train, and in the seat infrontofhim was an elderly lady of rural antecedents. Her face seemed to be familiar to him, and he looked at her several times. She for some reason took fright at these glances, and the next time the conductor camo through tbe car she whis 'pered her suspicions of the man in the next seat His umbrella with the notice of theft plainly In sight lay in tbe corner of the seat, and the conductor happened to see it It was with some difficulty that my friend convinced tbe conductor and the old lady that he was not a crook upon mischief bent . Have you ever seen one of the old-fashioned umbrellas of cotton that our grandslres or some of them used to carry with immense prideT An old character who was well-known in tbe Bewickley valley for I don't know how many years-sho isn't dead or forgotten yet had an umbrella of this sort by which she set great store. It was of blue cotton, with broad, white, circular stripes, and to what era it belonged old Rachel did not know. They say she only lent it once. One day, a score of years ago, her husband, who was a track walker on the Fort Wayne Hallway, screwed up his courage enough to ask her to lend him the sacred umbrella. She brought out the blue and whlto treasure from a corner of the little station house where they lived, and, with many Injunctions to be sure and bring it back, gave it to him. He had to walk three miles into tbe country that day, and when he had reached his destina tion it bad stopped-ralnlng. Tbe sky was clear when he started for home, and I suppose that was why he forgot the blue and white um brella. He never thought of. it again till he was at the threshold of bis borne, and there bis wife confronted him with her 200 pounds of muscle and bone. "Where Is it!" she said in a low and ominous tone. "Where is what, Rachel 7" was her husband's meek reply. "Where's that umbrel't" "Sakes aUvel I left It behlndl" "Before you git into this house you'll fetch that mnbrel'," Jim, that was her husband's name, knew that Rachel would do as she said every time, and he walked back tbree miles and then retraced his steps, bearing the umbrel'." . What a remarkable old woman Rachel must have been in her prlmel She used to boss the neighborhood in which she lived, and most of the time she was at war with all the boys for miles around. On eof.tho boys tells me a good story of those days. He and a few more juvenile brigands used to delight in tormenting old Rachel. Their ways and means were not unlike those popular among the boys of to-day. One trick which always had the effect of aggravating old Rachel to the verge of insanity was to knock at her door and then scoot away to a safe dis tance. , When Rachel lived in tbe old station house atEdgewortb, her enemies, the boys, were wont to get under the -station platform and with a piece of telegraph wire keep up an in termittent storm of raps upon Rachel's door. She neTer solved the mystery of. that rapper who could never be caught though she often opened the door SO times an hour armed with some weapon or other. V The boys got tired of this mechanical device after operating it the best part of one summer morning, and came out on to the railroad track just as a book and map peddler happened to come up. He asked one of the boys where he could got a drink of water, and the urchin obligingly replied: "Yes, Rachel will give you all the water you want if you knock at the door." . Which was strictly true. The peddler knocked at the door, and it flew open faster than any door that peddler had ever known before. A tall, bony, broad-shouldered woman, her face livid with anger, filled up the doorway, and a jugful of hot water hit tbe book agent in the face. He turned and ran away as fast as he could down the track, shak ing his fist at the boys, who stood at a safe dis tance and shouted to Rachel that she would surely be arrested. V When Rachel's husband was killed by falling off a band car, she was apparently over whelmed with grief. She walked up and down outside the station house with a stride and gait as though she was stepping over tall grass, and screaming at the top of her voice. The neighbors one and all came down and tried to calm her. But she would not be comforted. Neither would she hear of having the funeral the next day. One of the neighbors, who had known her all ber life, tried to reason with her on the subject. She was obstinato and insisted that the funeral must be postponed. Her reasons for wanting delay she would not give at first, "but after much pressing, she said: "I ain't got no black stockings!1 A tottno and presumably tender chicken in whom I have taken some interest of late has been ailing for several days, and though it has refused to eat has presented a distended, not to say balloon-like appearance. The proprietor of tbe chicken instituted an inquiry, and several witnesses were called. One, a small, but intelligent child, knew a great deal about the chicken. She was positive that the' Bantam for of that small and comely breed the Invalid is had eaten heartily on a very recent occasion. "Why," said she, "I gave it a lot to eat my self." "What did you give It?" the inquisitor asked. "Rice!" was the reply. "Uncooked rlceT"' "Yes." "Ohl" Now that small chicken attracts no attention from the curious; it still Is of abnormal girth, but is convalescent See what a few grains of rice can do I ' V It affords me great pleasure to note the latest progress in suburban dairy farming.. Here is one of the latest notes in my book: An East End gentleman is bent upon raising calves, and at present there are four as pretty young Al deraeys as a man may see in his stable. Tbe other day I met the daughter of this gentle man, a little mis3 of 8 summers. I inquired after everybody's health, and last of all I asked how tbe calves Were. "Oh," said she, "they're getting along all rightnow. Papa's feeding them lime water." "Isn't that a queer thing to give calves," I asked. i'You see we've not enough milk now for them all, and lime water looks just like milk, you knowP' Afterward I met the gentleman who owns the calves, and told him how glad I was to hear that his " calves were thriving on lime water. As he seemed puzzled at the remark, I repeated to him what his daughter had told me. "Lime waterf" said ho, laughlne; "It is flour and water, and my little girl, I suppose, mis took it for whitewash." And so what I deemed a discovery In cow feed vanished out of sight Hepburn Johns. Effect of tbe Weather. From the New York World.l General Greely informs Congress that a large percentage of the officers In charge of the Signal Service of the country are mentally unfitted for the performance of their duties. Surely the weather of the past year has been erratic enough to shake the Intellectual facul ties of anybody who gave It close attention. SUNDAY; ' " KEBRUART L0G-E0LMKQ. A Tlmoly Warning to Those Who Join Mu tual Admiration Societies. Prom the London Globe. Thecultusof mutual admiration Is not con fined to any time or any rank. Maudle and Postlethwalte have cut their hair and given up beslobbering one another with verbal adula tion; but they "log-roll" for one another in the magazines and the weekly papers, which comes to much the same thing. The practice, more over, is not confined to. literary and artistic circles, as may be learned from an interesting case which came yesterday before Judge Eddis at the Clerkenwell County Court. In 1836 there were in Islington several gentlemen who served the publfc on boards of various kinds. Determined' that their zeal should be duly recognized they used to get up testimonials to one another at frequent, intervals. At last it came to be the turn of Mr. G. S Elliot then a member of the Metropolitan Asylums Board, and now of the London County Council, to score a succes d'estime of this kind. Two of bis friends undertook the arrangements, and suggested'a dinner at a local public bouse. But Mr. Elliott was not going to bo fobbed off with that Ho insisted upon the venue being the Albion of City fame; and, moreover, de termined upon being treated in good style, told the landlord that though a 63. (3d. dinner was to be ordered, a 103.84. was to be supplied, he (Mr. Elliott) agreeing to pay the difference. So far, so good. Five thousand circulars were distributed among the parishioners, the dinner was held and a portrait and a gold watcb (purchased by the recipient) were duly presented to him "as a small token of our Tespect and esteem" by bis udmiring friends. But trouble arose, as It has often arisen before, over tbe wine. Some gentlemen, it seems, were under the impression that the 6s. 6d. which they had paid for their tickets included wine an impression which, we need hardly inform the frequenters of public dinners, was entirely erroneous. Accordingly the bill was not settled; and hence yesterday's action, in which Mr. Elliott himself was one of the co-defendants. Tbe case may serve as a useful warning to. other gentlemen who join Mutual Admiration Societies. So long as every one "plays fair" nothing can be nicer; but when, after you have rolled your friends' logs and paid for their dinners, they refuse to move a finger or to put their hands in their pockets, the game hardly seems to be worth the candle. WOULD BAK THE SATIOE. The Sexton of St. Thomas' Stands by the , Rich The Pastor Indignant. New York, February 16. Only half the story has been told of the first interview Sexton B. W. Williams, of St Thomas Church, had with a reporter when he advanced his ideas on business and religion as partners. Shortly after the sexton had, as alleged. Insulted Mrs. G. W. Moore, of Detroit, and hustled her out of a pew because she was a stranger, a reporter called on the sexton and had a long interview with him, most of which has been published. It is now, however, for the first time made known that the reporter, at that interview, said that tbe Savior sought rather the poor than the rich, and in the sight of God both were judged from tbe same standpoint of morality. Mr. Williams responded in this way: "That is a beautiful theory, but it would not be prac ticable in our present state of civilization. Most probably if Christ were to present him self personally for admission to St Thomas' Church as He appeared on earth (meaning in poverty's garmeuts), and had not paid for his pew in advance" here the sexton shrugged his shoulders and concluded, "you know." Even tbe Savior could not enter St. Thomas' Church; that was the unquestionable impression the sexton conveyed. Rev. John Wesley Brown, rector of the church, was seen by a reporter, and asked if any formal comnlaint had been made against Sexton Williams. "Not that I am aware of." he replied. "Will the church stand by the statements Sexton Williams has made to reporters?" the rector was asked. "Is tbe newspaper responsible for the state ments of a reporter on a horse car?" was the rector's way of answering that question; "Why the old gentleman." he added, "who has been with the church for 30 years, should have al lowed his tongue to gallop off with his reason is more than I can say. St Thomas' Church is one of the roost hospitable churches in the country. No one is turned away from its doors because he or she is too poor to pay for a pew. It is unfair to judge of the sentiment of our congregation by the expression of a paid em ploye. I think, however, that too much has already been said about the matter." ANDEEW JACKSON'S HOMESTEAD. The Movement to Preserve the Hermitage as a National Memorial. Nashville. February 16. A bill was intro duced in the Legislature to-day looking to the disposal of the Hermitage property to the Her mitage Ladles' Association. The bill provides that the dwelllngjhouse, tomb, improvements and 260 acres of land shall be sold to this asso ciation, hereafter to be organized,and that they shall beautify and adorn the same as a national and historic possession. Tbe associatlou shall not 'dispose of the property,' mortgage it or otherwise encumber it and the same shall be open to tbe pupllc, under rules and regulations established by tbe association. If the friends of tbe bill succeed in getting It passed, regents and vice regents will be im mediately appointed in all the States of tbe Union to raise the funds wherewith to pay the purchase money and. other necessary expenses. The property will then be kept up upon the same plan as that whereby Mount Vernon is maintained as a national memorial. DEATHS OP A DAY. Colonel David Fleming Honston. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. LANCASTER, February 16. Colonel David Flem ing Houston, a prominent citizen of Boanoke, Va., met with an accident causing his death here to-day. He arrived in Lancasterat noon from In dianapolis, where he had been to visit President Uartlson. He went at once to the store of his cousin, Robert J. Houston, and soon started to the latter's residence fo'r dinner. As the Colonel -was about entering: the front door be slipped on the Icy step and fell heavily, striking his chest. He did not seem hart at first, but soon began bleeding and died la less than half an hour of in ternal hemorrhage, caused by the fall. The de ceased was 45 years of age and unmarried. He was a son of John Houston and was born in this county, but went kouth years ago. Hewasmana- fer of. the Crozler Steel and Iron Company, of ioanoke, and treasurer or the Houston Coal and Coke Company, of West Virginia. He was a lead ing Kepubllcan politician and was elected a mem ber of the Virginia State Senate by a small major ity, altera big fight last year. He had Intended leaving for home at 2 o'clock this afternoon. Henry IMchter. Henry Rlchter died early yesterday morning at his residence on Center street Allegheny, of Brlght's disease of the kidneys. He was well known on the Northslde, and was for IS years In the employ of Joseph Lautner & Co., hardware merchants on Ohio street, and an active member ofTwln City Council No. 121, Jr. O. V. A. M., Lieutenant 1rsle Camp No. 2, 8. of V., and Alle gheny Lodge No. 54, A. I A. William A. Ilumberstone. Heath for the first time this year has entered Post 83, or Allegheny City. Comrade William A. Ilumberstone died last evening at 7:30, aged To years. Funeral Tuesday, at 1:30, from his resi dence. No. 14 Chartlers street Allegheny. Grand Army men In general are requested to Join with Fost 88 In paying tribute to his memory. HISTOEIC NOTES. Envelopes were nrst used In 1839. Anaesthesia was discovered in l&U. TnE first steel pen was made in 1803. The first air-pump was made in 1654. The first daily paper appeared in 170Z THE first Inciter match was made in 1798. The first iron steamship was built in 1830. Mohamhed was born at Mecca about 670. The first balloon ascent was made in 1798. Coaches were first used hi England in 1569. THE first horse railroad was built in 1826-27. The Franciscans arrived in England in 1224. The first steamboat plied tbe Hudson in 1807. The entire Hebrew Bible was printed in 1488. Ships were first "copper-bottomed" in 1783. Gold was first discovered in California in 1818. The first telescope was used in England in 1608. Christianitt was introduced in Japan in 1549. The first watches were made at Nuremberg In 1477. The first sawmaker's anvil was brought to America in 1819. ' The first almanac was printed by George von Furbach In 1460. The first newspaper advertisement ap peared In 1652. Percussion arms were used in the United States army in 1830. The first use ot a locomotive in this country was in 1829. OuNTBtJSES were first introduced in New York in 1830. IT, 1889. WASHINGTON GOSSIP. Insldo Facte Concerning the Smalls-Elliott Contest An American Lady With Parisian Experience Objects to Oar Crude Manner A Clock Wound Up by an Earthquake. Special Telegram to The Dispatch. Washington, February 16. The "nig ger" Is finally knocked out of Congress. I nso the orthography of the g-g's because we do things largely in the Southern way here, and the Southern man or woman who spells ,it n-e-g-r-o is unworthy of being noticed by the rest of Southern mankind. To be sure, the "nigger" ha only been a figure in this Con gress as a contestant but that was bad enough in the eyes of the South, and so they deferred his case as long as they could in the fear that a sufficient number of Democrats would be afflicted with a sense of the justice of the claims of Smalls, and vote with the Repub licans for his admission. If he was to be ad mitted it were better to defer the calamity to within a couple of weeks of the end of the Congress in which he would sit as a member. r If Democrats had voted according to the prompting of their consciences. Smalls would have been admitted. I long ago had the per sonal admissions of more than a dozen Demo crats whom I could name, that they believed that Smalls was honestly elected, and that they would probably vote for him If tho case was ever brought to a conclusion; but when the final test came the Southern wine of the party ruled, and only 2 of the 12 or 15 had the nerve to fly in tbe face of the party leaders. It is a fine comment on the honesty of the others, tbe vote of Wilson, of Minnesota, and Russell, of Massachusetts, two Democrats of the House, who, of all others, are noted for their broad knowledge of the law and their rigid integrity. Judge Wilson is one of the most learned law yers and able jurists in either branch of Con gress. He had made a profound study of the Smalls case. He bad decided that Smalls was honestly elected by a large majority, and nothing could turn him from his purpose to vote for his admission. If Judge Wilson reached that conclusion It is proof enough for me that everyone who voted the other way was wrong, either ignorantly or deliberately. Un doubtedly many Democrats voted against the contestant because they neither Knew nor cared about the justice of the case. It is a habit of most of the members on both sides of the House, and in the Senate as well, to leave the decision of all matters to committees having them in charge. This enables tbe com mittees to perpetrate all sorts of wrongs, and receive the support of their party, and they do not hesitate to go to the most outrageous ex tremes. American Manners. "I am going to Paris in tho early spring, and I don't care whetherl ever see America again," said an American lady to me the other day, who has spent most of her time of late years in the French capital. "The manners of the Americans are so disgusting they make me sick. I did not notice it so much before I lived abroad, but now I can't endure'it Tbe loafing in front of the hotels and public houses and on street corners, on tbe main business streets, where ladies mutt go to do their shopping, the offensive manner in which the loafers stare at you, the insulting remarks they make loud enough for you to hear them, and worse than all, perhaps, their filthy habit of chewing to bacco and ejecting their saliva all over the pavement are things which are seen in no Eu ropean country. A man who would chew to bacco in any of those countries would be looked upon as worse than a pig. Why, here in Wash ington, the capital city of America, I do not dare to wear a good gown on the street Unless I were to bold it higher than the law allows It would surely be ruined trailing through the pools of sickening tobacco juice which mark the whole length of the sidewalk, I have a little boy who was born in France. He had never seen a cuspidor until last fall we came home to America on business. It was in an elegant parlor just think of it! and 'was a very pretty one of fine Japanese pottery. The little fellow picked it up and ran to me, ex claiming: 'Oh. mamma, look what a pretty vase. But why don't they have flowers in it and set it in the window like we do in Paris?' I did not dare to tell him tbat it was used for the members of the family and visitors to de posit quids of tobacco and filthy spittle, for fear the child's criticism would grate on the ears of the elegant company present. I can't imagine how women can endure tbe attentions of any man who chews tobacco. If my husband used it I would consider it good ground for a divorce. I certainly would not live with him. We had intenaed to make Washington our home, but these horrible dark blotches every where on the sidewalks, and their nauseating fumes everywhere in the air. have so disgusted and sickened me that we have absolnteiy de termined to fly the country forever." The Tobacco Habit. Now, this lady is not nervous or sqeamisb. She travels the ocean in the roughest weather without seasickness, does her own marketing and housekeeping, though she is wealthy, and is' really one of the bravest little women In the world. I agree with her. When you get south of the Pennsylvania line nearly everybody chews tobacco and smokes, to say nothing of what is done north of that line in smaller de gree. If I were to go about to reform the health and habits of the Americans I would begin with the smoking and chewing of to-' bacco, if no farther back, for the use of the weed is infinitely more disgusting than the use of liquor, generally speaking, and a thousand people are killed by the nicotine where one is sent to grass by excessive use of stimulants. AVhy do not Prohibitionists include tobacco in their anathemas? And why do not some of the saints who anathematize both, indulge in an occasional lecture on the habit of gorging at meals, which is put down in tbe books as a saintly custom, from time imme morial? Excessive eating leads to nine-tenths of tbe other excesses of the human kind. Why do not the temperance advocates begin at the root of tbe evil? Of course it is all right to endeavor to back off the fingers and toes of a dragon which devours his thousands of human victims every day. but why don't they stick him in the stomach? That's where he lives. Given a good, healthy beginning, it is our food that makes or unmakes us: yet what advocate of temperance begins at that point and what learned physician attempts to prescribe a rea sonable and scientific diet to prevent sickness? Verily we are a topsy-tnrvy race that begins at tbe wrong end of everything. It's French, Yon Know. If we must ape' foreign customs and use foreign words and phrases at the capital. It is a relief to know that all is not English that glit ters, though I am aware that the Impression has gone out probably on account of the repu tation of the State Department that we are all English, you know. A little hotel on tbe ave nue has swung out the sign of "The Pension Bourgeolse." Lest tho unlearned may think that this has some reference to the Pension Office it may be well to explain that a French "pension" Is a kind of private or family hotel. A laundry on the avenue has the word "Blan chisserle" on its front and a baker on Four teenth street has had painted on his window "Charcuterie et Patisserie." You see we are progressing. But I fear that little hotel keeper is too ambitious. It is a very humble looking house, and "the sign should have been "Pension Proletalre." The Earthquake and the Clock. A member of a South American legation tells me a pretty story of an earthquake and a clock, the latter one of those wonders of the old clockmakers of medieval days, which has no counterpart in these times of shoddy and cheap utility. It had stood for generations in tbe old family mansion and no living' person had ever heard it tick or strike. A not far dis tant' volcano had been in a statcof eruption for several days, and then one night It began to rumble and roar and rock, and the earth was shaken tremendously throughout a circuit of several hundred miles. A gay company was gathered at the old mansion, which had the fun Knocked out of it to some extent when the ancient building began to sway from side to side, and the stones to fall from tbe chimney, and the crockery to tumble from the cupboards. Following an awful shock there was a silence thatwas hardly less awful in expectation of another ye, more destructive shaking up, and in that moment of stillness there was beard a cheerful, homelike tlck-tock. tick-tocK from the old clock in the hall, and In a moment the musical old bell, which may not have tolled the hour for a hundred years, began a deep, melo dious, drowsy d-o-n-g-g-g. d-o-n-g-g-g, d-o-n-g g-g, till it had struck tho hour of 12. Long before the generations who listened to it were born it had "run down," and had never been rewound. The shaking of the earth had roused the ancient weights to a new effort, and they had tugged at the wheels until, In concert with the swinging of the.pendulum, started by the swaying of the walls, the entire rusty ma chinery was put in motion. One of the com pany got a stepladder, laid hold of the mighty key which hung on a projection of the case, wound up the massive weights, and from that hour the old clock way as good a timepiece as a Spaniard would want, that luxurious creature who takes no note of time, and to this day it ticks and tolls in that ancient mansion In mem ory of the great earthquake. ' L. . L. One Consolation. yrom the New York Herald. 2 Mr. Jay Gould is baying real estate. WeU, there's one consolation you can't water the soil without improving It GOSSIP OP NEW T0RKERS. CHXW TOBS BtJBEAtX SPICIALS.l New York; February 16. Forty-six mem bers of the Crib Club, a wealthy organization of young Harlem bloods, crowded up',to the bar of the Harlem Police Court this morning. The club had a prize fight at its house last night between the "Yorkvillo Rasher" and the "Har lem Spider." The fight was such a tremendous success that by the time the eighth round was finished all the spectators were yelling like mad. The disturbance attracted the attention ot the police, who broke into the clubhouse and arrested everyone they could lay bands on. Some 30 clubmen dropped out of the windows and scurried away, hatless and coatless, across lots. Fifty-one prisoners, including five re porters, marched to the police station, two by two, at the head of a howling mob. They were balled out after a few hours' confinement This morning they all swore that the prize fight, in question was only a sparring match and were acquitted. A Mark of Identification. In deference to tne wishes of Archbishop Corrigan, who recently askel the Commission ers of Charities to assist him in identifying Catholics among the pauper dead in the hospi tals, the Commissioners will hereafter brand the coffins of Catholics dying in the institutions with a cross. Archbishop Corrigan has blessed a portion of the potter's field, in whioh conse crated ground Catholics may henceforth be buried. Ran Away and Failed. The disappearance of Christopher A. Wyatt the general partner of the firm of C. A. Wyatt & Co., woolen commission merchants, at 253 Church street resulted to-day in the Sheriff taking charge of the store on attachments In favor of Rawitzer fc Co. for $14,000 and Stewart & Co. $12,273 against Mr. Wyatt Thomas F. Ryan had previously been appointed receiver on the application of Henry C. Newhall, of Los Angeles, who was the special partner with Mr. Wyatt having put $50,000 special capital In the business. Mr. Newhall is a brother-in-law of Mr. Wyatt and is President of tbe California Bank at Los Angeles. It is said he became a partner last November, the copartnership to run five years, and Mr. Wyatt claiming to have $50,000 capital of his own. Mr. Wyatt disap peared about ten days ago, ostensibly going on a business trip, and his present whereabouts is unknown to his creditors. Mr. Hersbf eld, ot Honirtz & Hersbf eld, attorneys for Rawitzer & Co., said yesterday tbat as near as be could learn Mr. Wyatt's liabilities were about $100, 000, and he had left very little assets behind. He had.no idea where Mr. Wyatt had gone. Dudley Mast Face the Mnslc. On the application of the counsel of the Evening Post, the Supreme Court of the Dis trict of Columbia has granted a subpsna di rected to Colonel W. W. Dudley, the Treasur er of the Republican National Committee, for his examination on the 27th instant in Wash ington under the open commission heretofore granted by Judge O'Brien, of 'the Supreme Court of this city. The value of this is that Colonel Dudley's attendance can now be en forced under the usual penalties. He is, how ever, not likely to absent himself .from Wash ington, as it is now tho principal sphere of bis activity. His examination will be an Interest ing prelude to the inauguration. HABEISON'S STATE CARRIAGES. They Aro Handsome Vehicles, With Noth ing; Gaudy Aboat Them. Chicago, February 16. The two state car riages made to order for General Harrison ar rived in Chicago to-day, and will be forwarded to Washington next Wednesday. The vehicles were made in the factories of tbe Studebakers, at South Bend, Ind. One Is a full leather landau for tbe President's use, plain in appear-, ance, but of the best material and finished in elegant style. The other is an extension front brougham for Mrs. Harrison. Tbe finish of the gearing and exterior woodwork of both carriages is a dark green body with black strip ing and highly polished. All the trimmings, although exceedingly plain, are of silver. The brougham is upholstered in green cloth and satin. The lamps are silver globes of fanciful designs, with cut-glass panels. In the front of tbe brougham is a little seat especially for the grandchildren. Under tbe driver's seat la an alarm bell attached by a wire to a button within easy reach of the occupant within. Besides the brougham and landau, a mail buggy of similar trimming and finish has been made. The Stndebakers are also making the harness to go with the carriages. Car riages, harness, and horse furniture are esti mated to be worth 87,000 or S3,000. NO EJfD IN SIGHT. The Election of a Senator Still Far In the Fntnre. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. Charleston. W. Va. February 16. Al though many of Kenna's friends believed that he would receive the vote of President Carr to-day, which would have resulted in his elec tion, they were again doomed to disappoint ment President Carr and the two other Union Labor members returned to their own party candidate, Wirt R. 'eale, and voted for him on each ballot five of which were taken. Dele gate Ford again deserted tne itenna ranKS, ne and Delegate Dorr voting for R. P. Chew. Kenna received S9 and Goff S3 on each ballot The resolution providing for an extension of tbe session was defeated in the House by a vote of 28 to 30. and will meet with the same fate in the Senate when considered. NATURE'S QUEER FREAKS. A Perfectly Formed Living Calf With Two Heads at Scottdale. Special Telegram to The Dispatch. Scottdale, February 16. D. R. Baird Is the proud owner of a calf with two .perfectly shaped heads on one body. The neck of each Is very nicely formed, and joined together and forms a letter V from the shoulder blades. The calf has four legs and a very well-shaped body, handsomely marked black and white spots, with a star in the center of each head. This curiositv, which is but a few hours old, has excited tbe neighborbood to a great ex tent The farm being close to Scottdale, it has attracted crowds of people from the town to witness tbe curiosity. An Empress Author. From the New York World. The Empress Frederick, it is said, is about to join the noble army of authors or the army of noble authors by writing the memoirs of her late husband. The book will have to be pub lished in England to avoid the terrible blue pencil of Editor Bismarck. They Are Only Women. From the Louisville Courier-Journal. 1 I The footpads of Chicago are great fools. They seize and rob ladies on the sidewalk. If the rogues would get on tbe street cars they would find that women nearly always leave their hand-bags and pocketbooks on the car seats. So Some People Think. From tbe Oil City Bllzzard.l The unkindest cut of all is the average' wood cut PACTS AND FIGURES. Last year $10,164,000 were Invested in new enterprises in West Virginia. The United States manufactures 8,750,000 pounds of Llmburger cheese annually. It is said tbat tbe present United States Sen ate comprises 30 millionaires in its member ship. The imports of specie for the week amounted to $183,802, of which $178,618 was in gold and $7,156 In silver. Since April 17, 1888, the Treasury has pur chased $31,390,050 of 4 per cents and $36,602,450 of 4 per cents, a total of $110,900,100, at a total cost of $130,468,376. It is estimated that the production of window glass in this country, with the imports, will ag gregate 4,200.000 boxes for the fiscal year end ing July L 1889, against 4,189,717 for last year. - Twestt shares of the New York Chemical Bank stock were sold last week at $4,195 a share, the hlgnest price ever paid for the stock; The par value of this stock is $100, and there are but 3,000 shares in all. Tbe bank declares bi monthly dividends of 23 per cent Statistics gathered from the United States Geological Survey show a marvelously rapid gain in the mining and quarrying industries of the country. Their total values In 1884 were $413,000,000; In 1883, $428,000,000; In 1886, $465, 000,000; in 1887, $542,000,000. The figures for 1888 are not yet known, but it is estimated that they will reach, if not exceed, $600,000,000. CDEIOUS CONDENSATIONS. George Comar, a resident of Virginia City claims to have been visited by Satan, and to have bad a long talk with the old boy. A countryman at Palatka, Fla., who saw the street car for the first time Saturday, referred to it as a "new style omnibus on baby wheels." Mrs. Gloin, of Chardon, O., whojdied, to all appearances, Saturday, revived after being placed in the coffin, but "died" again next day, and since the doctors have been watching her closely for signs of returning life. Mr. Snnrtreon. the well-known London preacher, has a beautiful residence at Beulah, Upper Norwood, with extensive grounas ana handsome conservatories. A silver casket from the Queen is one of his most precious household gods. A large meteor fell on a farm in the town of Highlands, N. Y., on the 7th inst. It was very brilliant in color, being yellow, tinged with -green. It broke into a thousand small pieces. The snow covering about an acre was perforated as with gravel. A young lady of Orlando, Fla., Is tho proud owner of a large Thomas cat which is an expert bird catcher. His style of bunting 1 peculiar and decidedly original. He has learned to imitate the notes ot birds, and In tbat way entices them within his reach. President Cleveland has never crossed the threshold of more than two houses In Washington outside the residences of his Cabi net officers during his term of office. He has never seen Congress at work, and in four year be has not once entered a Department building. A Boston young man says that he wrote a good story, and it was declined by several periodicals. He then rewrote It, misspelling all the words, and it was accepted as a first- 'class dialect story by the periodical which had nrst aecnnea it. ice .uosion young man spioa a pretty tough yarn. Fifteen daring young women of Phila delphia have formed a clnb of which the sole condition of membership is'tbat tbe applicant forswear corsets. Eaoh one of the ladles com prising the club has consigned her whalebone cninusto the flames and now taxes ber inge nuity to provide a substitute. The "culture craze" has struck Louis ville, and now that gentle village boasts no fwer than six clubs devoted to the acquisition of-refinement A Shakespeare club, a Blue Stocking society, two Browning clubs, an American History club and a Society for the Study of Political Economy make up the list Two spinster sisters up in Maine who run a 65-acre farm are credited with being the smartest women in the State. One of them chops every winter the year's supply of fire wood, going into the woods early in the season and remaining until the work is completed. She works in the hayfield In summer, and digs from 70 to 100 bush els of potatoes yearly and puts them In tbe cellar. The other sister is the carpenter of the family, and has added all man ner of improvements to tbe farm. The new House of Commons in Japan is to be composed of 300 members, and tbe right of suffrage is to be exorcised by men 23 years old who pay an anuual tax of $23. These requirements are more exacting than those heretofore fixed for electors who are entitled to vote for members of the city and pref ec tural assemblies that determine the local tax rates. In the case of those electors the voting age has been 20 years and the land tax limit about $5. There were nearly 1,700,000 such voters in 1884. Lexington, Ga., can boast of the most unique clubhouse in the world. The young men of that town built a log hut which they chincked with clay, making it as snug and tight as a palace. At one end is an enormous open fireplace feeding up to a primitive chimney. The club, which embraces the best young men, has a weekly supper. The day before tbe sup per a huge wood fire is built in the fireplace, and the next evening there is abed of coals and ashes tbat a king might envy. The birds, fish, 'possum and oysters are cooked in the glowing ashes, and some wonderful bits of gastronomy they turn out A grave-digger in New York tells of a strange sort of mental affection which troubles people of his calling. It is termed "corpso quake." and several of his friends have suf fered from it. It invariably attacks a digger while he ,is about tbe cemetery, the victim shaking as though suffering from a chill. In one case tbat the digger cltes.the man's health became much impaired, but abandoning tbe business, the poor fellow recovered, and then took his old position. Almost the same day tbe shaking returned. He again retired, but suffered thereafter at the mention of a spade, and died in a remarkably short time. At a recent fashionable wedding in New York tbe father of the bride wore a broad grin as he walked up the church aisle with his daughter. During the ceremony he chuckled several times and at its close he broke into an unmistakable langb. As be is a prominent citizen of. unimpeachable sobriety and is known to have the tenderest regard for his family, and lor this daughter in particular, many were somewhat scandalized by such an apparent breach of decorum. At the wedding reception the good gentleman solved tbe mys tery. He bad suddenly remembered that tbe last time he had been inside of any church was when he wa3 himself married in that very edifice. Mrs. B. S. Bentell, of Spellman, Ga., has in her possession two breastpins of ancient days. One Js a painting on ivory of her mother's cousin, the work being done about 150 years ago. The other is a most perfect design in hair work. This pin represents the figure of Mrs. Sentell's gTeat-great-creat-grandmother, stand ing at the tomb of ber husband in tbe year 1600. Tbe tomb has this inscription: "Affection Weeps, Heaven Rejoices." The carving on the stone and the willow tree that bangs overhead, and also tbe willows In the background are all complete. It is oval shape, and only about an inch, in width by one and a half in length. Tbe work is exceedingly fine, and although it has been 300 years since, it is as perfect as though done yesterday. FDNNY MES'S FANCIES. Bachelors and spinsters should abbreviate "Wednesday. Oil City Bliizard. Flub He isn't so attentive to ber as h? nsed to be. Snub She's Jilted him, eh? Flub No; she married him. rzn Blade, Observing the proprieties. "Don't you know, Emily, that It is not proper for yoa to turn around and look after a gentleman!" Bat, mamma, 1 was only looking to see if he was look ing to see If I was looking." VMcago Sews. Traveling on his Face. They1 were speak ing of a mutual acquaintance when Boggs, in response to a question, remarked: "Ho, he never pays his fare anywhere, he rides free on the strength ofhls good looks." "Ah, I see," Jones assented: "his good looks, then, have a race value." There is crape on the door of the Jones mansion now. Albany Journal. Fitzjones Did yon go to the theater last evening. Percy? De Brown Ifo; I attended a sllght-of-hand per formance. ritzjones Where? De Brown-I went to call on Miss Le Smythe, and offered her my band, but she slUhted It. America. But He Didn't Go. He Tell me, Annie, do you believe that women love men best when they are gone? She (positively) Yes, I do. He (after a while) Annie, do you lore me? She-No. He (In Injnred tone)-What? She (wishing he'd go) But I believe In those words you have just quoted. Tankee Blade. A CHECK ON THE FESTIVITIES, There was laughter and dancing at Hominy Hall. And the ladles were happy, but gayest of all Tbe cook lady was as she frolicked around. While tbe nurse lady scampered with panther-like bound; The wash lady sat at her ease in a chair, t While the lady who cleaned up the rooms fixed ber hair. But alas for their Joyl-ltwas brief and short lived, Tor the woman whose servants they were" bad ar rived. Stbraska State Journal. ' ET THE SLEEPISO CAR. In the evening, weak and weary, t Entered I the sleeping car, , Found the porter, haughty, dreary, As at e e the porters are. Up and down the isle be bossed me, Flung my baggage here and there; In my every wish he crossed me Till my soul o'erflowed with swear. Long I sued, lmslored. beseecbed him "aire me quarters for the night" Till at last my pleading reached him And he folded me from sight In the morning, ah, how lowly Bowed the porter down to me I Brnshed my garments, meantime slowly Placed his palm where 1 might see. Tbns between mankind and porter Time U ever shifting powers; In the eve we beg their quarters, In the morn they beg; for oars. Washington Put,