THE PITTSBURG- DISPATOH, FRIDAY, FEBRUARY . 15, 1889.
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9j Bigpfrjj.
ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8, 1S4S.
VoL 41, Xo. 8. Entered at Pittsburg rosU
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later than to-day.
THE FRENCH CEISIS.
France's political upheavals are always
surprising, and the one which overturned
the Floquet ministry yesterday was trne to
the rule of being exactly the reverse of what
would be expected in other nations.
The great policy of Boulanger's party has
been the revision of the constitution. Yet,
in the vote yesterday, it was the ministry
which proposed to push on the bill for re
vision and the opposition which called for
postponement and won.
Add to this the phenomenon of a min
istry overthrown on an apparently trivial
question of consideration, and the results of
French politics seem at this distance to be
paradoxical. Of course, however, the vote
was full of significance to the French con
testants, and was vital in showing that the
ministry had lost its majority.
"What will come nest no man can tell,
beyond the indication that France is ap
parently bent on demonstrating the truth
of its national proverb that "it is the un
expected which happens."
THE PEODTJCEES' TEUE POLICY.
A rather interesting item appeared yes
terday afternoon, in the shape of a reported
plan to organize the producers of crude pe
troleum into a corporation, the shares of
which are to be paid for by the producers
out of a certain percentage of their
production. This property the corporation
is expected to convert, as opportunity occurs
into pipe lines, tanks and other means to
make them independent of the Standard.
This is virtually the plan of action which
The DisrATcn has long urged upon the
prodneers, with the exception that we have
advocated a greater scope in making the or
ganization encourage the establishment of
independent refineries. It is plain that if a
competing pipe and tank system were es
tablished, so long as the Standard retained
its position as the controlling purchaser of
crude petroleum, it could freeze out the in
dependent element by the leverage of that
power. But ii, simultaneously with the ex
tension of competing pipe lines, competing
refineiies are stimulated not only by the
encouragement of the existing ones, but by
efforts to establish new ones the interest
can be placed on a basis of independence
which will, in time, enable it in the lan
guage of the report, to "give the Standard
the go-bv."
"When the Standard had control of the
lever of railway discrimination it was able
to choke off competing pipe lines and refin
eries. Now it relies upon its control of the
pipe lines and its power as the chief pur
chaser of crude to maintain its supremacy.
"With opposition to it in both branches of
the industry, the petroleum business ought
to secure its freedom. This was, as we un
derstand, the original purpose of the Pro
ducers' Protective Association; and if a new
organization is started it will have to guard
against the danger which perverted the
former movement just as a similar evil
strangled the South Penn namely, the
presence among them of agents of the
monopoly and their schemes to delude the
independent interest into playing the great
corporation's game.
Wow much foundation there is for the re
port we do not know; but we should be glad
to see the petroleum producers embarking in
a fair stand-up fight to secure their indepen
dence. It would be a hard fight unques
tionably; but on the lines indicated it would
be a winning one in the end.
A WHOPPEE, SURELY.
Notwithstanding the recent enlighten
ment which the British public has had
from Prof. Bnce, Max O'Rell and other
observing visitors upon the institutions and
tendencies in the United States, there is
ftil, evidently, a large capacity on the part
ot Cousin John to believe wonderful stories
about our politics. The most remarkable of
late yarns gotten up for his benefit is a tale
that "wealthy Republicans" propose raising
5300.000,000 to bribe the Canadians into an
nexation. How anyone could be foolish
enough to swallow this it is difficult to con
ceive; but British credulity must be equal
to the task, or responsible papers at Mon
treal would not give currency to the report
in a long cablegram from London.
It has been the fashion, and to some ex
tent is yet, with a certain class of English
writers and speakers to make much capital
about bribery on this side; yet it is seriously
to be doubted if there is more,or as much, of
that in our national politics as is practiced
even under the boasted British system. No
doubt "influence." occasionally pernicious,
has a good deal too much to do in our
legislation, and as a matter of course also in
civil service appointments, but money con
siderations are a different thing, in kind at
least, if not in character.
But if Cousin John were so simple as to
suppose for a moment that 5300,000.000 of
bribery in a single transaction could be
undertaken by "wealthy Republicans" of
the United States, the slightest reflection
might suffice to convince him that Yankee
business shrewdness would forbid the pay
ing of any such sum for the Canada whistle.
A GRAVE UNDERTAKING.
In this neighborhood, as far as our obser
vation extends, the undertakers are respon
sible men, skilled in their .important and
necessary, but not very agreeable, business,
and we have never heard that they or the
public have deemed it essential that an ex
amination on technical matters shouldmake
it less easy for a man to become a funeral
director. In Ohio, however, it appears that
a different condition of affairs exists. The
State Association of Undertakers has cast
into the Ohio Legislature a bill to provide
for the appointment by the Governor of a
commission of three practical funeral direc
tors, before whom all under takers must pass
and secure a license belorc embarking in
the business.
The only reason publicly assigned for this
action is that many undertakers unskillfully
handle bodies infected with contagions dis
eases. This, indeed, is a sufficient threat
against the public health to call for some
reform. Rut it is hinted that other forces
are behind the bill. There has been a
tendency in Ohio, we are told, to regard un
dertaking as a last resort. A statesman 'for
instance who has failed of his ambition and
to whom the trough ot official pap is no
longer accessible, has been known to seek
relief in burying his fellow men. The
burial of his hopes, perhaps, sug
gests the appropriateness of this de
parture. The poet, whose sweet songs
never get beyond the waste basket
of the unnatural editor, the tailor who
trusts not wisely but too much, the doctor
who kills more often than he cures, and, in
short, all sorts and conditions of men who"
have never felt success' smile, are said, in
Ohio, to turn with shocking eagerness to
assisting mortal clay to its last resting
place. Consequently the profession of un
dertaking is embarrassed by the abundance
of its practitioners, and the direction of
Ohio's funerals has become a prey to ex
cessive competition. The proposed law will
doubtless prove a timely remedy; Ohio's
undertakers will once again be happy and
select; and the vested right of charging a
dollar for each pair of ten-cent gloves worn
by bearers will move along undisturbed by
infringements ot rash competitors.
THE WEAK SPOT.
The formation of the Sewer Pipe Trust,
which is to control the manufacture of
those useful articles for drainage purposes,
is announced, witn the familiar feature of a
central corporation which is to distribute
the orders and fix the prices.
This is the fashionable method of remedy
ing the recent prevalence of prices too low
to'suit the manufacturers. But onr friends
the manufacturers should consider what
means they have of making the remedy a
permanent one. If we are not mistaken
there was a sewer pipe pool some years ago,
which held up prices just long enough to at
tract new concerns into the business, and
smash prices worse than before.
If the new combination has any method of
keeping new concerns ont of the trade, it
may sustain prices above the natural, level
fixed by competition. But in default of any
such lever every advance in prices above
the level at which the present concerns have
done a living business for some years, will
be a direct premium to the building of new
fac-ories, with the result of cut prices and
further subdivision of the business so long
as the combination effort shall last.
Our trusting friends should take care lest
in casting out what seems to them to be the
devil of competition, some other devils
worse than the first do not enter in and
abide with them.
THE GEADE CROSSINGS BILL.
The rather warm discussion in the House
of Representatives yesterday, on the grade
crossing: bill, was largely a conflict of
special interests. The opposition came
mainly from the the Allegheny City mem
bers, obviously Irom a fear that their city
miglit get into the second class before its
grade-crossing problem is settled. Yet at
present the bill does not apply to Allegheny;
while Pittsburg, at least, retains its usual
attitude of sublime indifference to the whole
subject of grade crossings.
On the face of it, the provision of the
bill, dividing the cost of changing streets
now crossing railroads at grade, seems to
be as equitable a compromise as is practica
ble. There may be- some ground in the
criticism of a Philadelphia member that
the provision with regard to new streets puts
a check on the opening of streets in city
suburbs. But if we are to get rid of the
danger of grade crossings, it is clear that
new streets should be kept clear of them.
It is the worst possible economy to let a new
street cross a railroad at grade and wait un
til both traffic and damages are heavy, be
fore remedying the evil.
The worst fanlt of the bill that can be dis
cerned by the newspaper summaries is that
it is practically special legislation for
Pittsburg and Philadelphia. Tf the princi
ples on which grade crossings shall be abol
ished can be enacted into law, there is no
reason why their operation should be con
fined to these two cities. The law should
be based on such broad and general justice
that it can apply to every municipality in
the State where there is any need for it.
Nor is the need for it any greater now in
the two large cities than in the dozen smaller
ones. "We doubt if either Philadelphia or
Pittsburg have more dangerous grade cross
ings than those on the main streets of Alle
gheny and Harrisburg.
It is hardl) the right remedy for a danger
of such widespread character, to put the two
bigger cities in safety and to let the slaugh
ter go on in the rural districts.
GAMBLING WITH FOOD.
"Wheat is again turned into a gambling
product, the manipulators at Chicago
having squeezed the market up to about
81 10. There is not any change in the sta
tistical position of wheat and the advance
is purely the result of manipnlation.
If no one but the gamblers in wheat were
caught by this class of brace game, the pub
lic would not care very much. But the
legitimate work of bringing wheat from the
producers to the consumers is blocked by
every such squeeze, and the greatest damage
is inflicted on both producers and con
sumers. A specimen of the way in which this
gambling is made the excuse of extortion is
shown by the promptness with which West
ern millers advanced the price of flour the
day of the advance in wheat. When wheat
went down from the SI 10 level last fall the
millers did not reduce flour; but when it
goes up, the price of bread to the workmen
ot the country is put.up with it.
The New York Sun's remark that "if
wheat has ceased to be a food and become a
gambler's plaything the people can cat
corn" is pertinent. But it should be added
that when wheat 'cases to be food for the
people it ought to become food for some very
earnest and fruitful thinking.
LEGAL ECONOMY.
The ingenuity of the law's methods in
prolonging the dreary course of litigation
has long been the subject of satirists; but the
novelty of a device for increasing the cost
of legal proceedings just developed in
Dutchess county, New.York, leaves all the
satires in the shade. It seems that an estate
inventorying some $18,000 at first, had just
got through probate at a legal cost of $3,000.
Considering that perhaps $300 worth of act
ual work had been done by the nine lawyers
connected with the case, this was quite mod
erate, and the owners of the property would
have been lucky if they could have taken
the remaining $15,000 and gone about their
bnsiness. '
But the lawyers still had a card to play.
A first-class city lawyer would never have
suffered five-sixths of the estate to remain
intact on the first bout; but the rural advo
cates made up for their primary neglect by
the subsequent master-stroke of policy.
They realized the unprofessional conrse of
letting 15,000 out of an f 18,000 estate go to
its rightful owners without further diminu
tion; and they summoned the extraordinary
powers of equity to their aid by servinS an
injunction on the executors forbidding them
to pay exorbitant legal charges.
That settles the fafeot the estate, or a con
siderable share of it. By the time that the
question is argued before piasters, argued be
fore courts, argued on appeals, with all the
variations of hearings to take testimony,
stenographic reportsand the remainderof the
costly resorts of equity practice, the heirs to
that estate mayregard their $15,000 as a van
ished dream, and will only be able to wish
that they might dream again that they were
able to get off with only $3,000 legal
charges. '
The legal mind has evolved a great many
striking ideas; but it never turned out a more
audacious and delicate bit of satire than
throwing an estate into equity litigation on
the plea of cutting off excessive legal
charges.
The river wall' and park, as a means of
beautifying the lower part of the city, will
meet a long-felt want. It would be difficult
to name anything that the district adjacent
to the Point needs more than a considerable
addition to its negative stock of beauty.
It is regarded by the ProvidenceJburnal
as a subject for sarcasm that the President
elect can appoint Warner Miller to the de
partment of pumpkin-seeds and crop re
ports. But could not our esteemed co
temporary find some targets for its wit in
the Democratic party which enacted the
bill in order that Hon. Norman J. Colman
might have a Cabinet position for two weeks
after lobbying for it, lo.fhese many years?
The repbrt which comes up from New
Orleans that Evangeline Rice and Adonis
Dixey lost $8,000 at poker in that town
sounds stunning; but before taking stock in
it the public had better inquire how much
water there is in that $8,000.
Senator Peumb declares indignantly
that the Creek lands might have been
bought several years ago for 75 cents an
acre, if Mr. Cleveland had seen fit to respect
the will of Congress. The public may not
regard it as an unpardonable fault that the
owners of the land should get something
nearer their value than that price, although
of conrse Senator Plumb and the land grab
bers will rage.
The report that the firms who have spent
so much money to maintain their patents on
barbed wire are themselves infringing on a
French patent ot 1865, is calculated to make
the business of patent litigation experience
another boom.
The news that Perry Belmont is unable
to penetrate in to the circles of royalty in
Spain on account of the omission to notify the
Spanish Government ot the withdrawal of his
predecessor, according to etiquette, is firing
the Democratic heart. What are onr boasted
liberties worth if the effete royalty of Spain
can keep a Democratic millionaire at arm's
length on such frivolous pretexts.
The finding in the police case has a gen
eral resemblance to the Scotch verdict of
"not proven;" but the assailants of the police
insinuate something about a change of
venue.
A young woman in Harrisburg is re
ported to think that she is in Heaven. This
is taken as proof positive that she is out of
her senses, as she is still in Harrisburg.
But it maybe worthwhile to remember that
almost any change from the normal con
ditions in Harrisburg would be likely to
appear a transition in the direction, at least,
of Paradise.
It is comforting to know that after some,
months of researches into cotemporary Irish
history, the Parnell Commission has at last
got within sight of the alleged Parnell letters.
"Goveenoe Hill had nothing to say re
garding his alleged 'snub' at the White
House," remarks the Chicago Herald.
Hadn't he, indeed? Then there is a misap
prehension, as to that remark about Randall
as "the greatest living Democrat" being a
deadly stab by the snubbee into the snub
ber's adipose tissue.
That valued policy bill rises again in the
Legislature to plague the insurance com
panies. Mr. Gillette's determination to drama
tize r'Robert Elsmere" without the consent
of the author is not very wise. There are
plenty of other subjects on which he can
exercise his talent. Let him dramatize
"The Descent of Man." We are sure that
Darwin will notjobject.
PROMINENT PEOPLE.
Mb. Rcskin persists in using candles for il
laminating purposes at night.
Tiie German Emperor has started an elab
orate dally "Court Circular," which ho edits
himself.
Lord Salisbury has expressed himself as
being, ready to propose a grant of 15,000 a year
for Prince Albert Victor whenever his Royal
Highness desires to marry.
Hon. Jons Daleell left Washington last
evening for a brief business visit to New York.
He will return to the capital by way of Pitts
burg, where he will be Saturday and Sunday.
M. Jacques, who was defeated by General
Boulanger in the Pans Parliamentary election
the other day, was once a college professor.
Failing at that, he became a successful dis
tiller. Tiie Emperor of China, a boy of 17, has a
serious hesitation in his speech, and speaks
with considerable difficulty. He is quiet in
disposition, but vey obstinate when once ho
has formed an opinion.
Colonel "Das" Lamont was an expert on
the subject of pie before he ever began his now
famous series ot pastry seances at, the Whito
Hohse. He was steward of his club at Union
College, and an uncommonly shrewd steward,
too. A privilege enjoyed by members of tho
club was that of abstaining Irom any of the
delicacies of the table, receiving in exchange a
rebate from the weekly assessment. A student
from Vermont, who did not particularly enjoy
pastry, one day announced that he would
henceforth eat no pie, but, instead, -would draw
5 cents a day from the treasury. Lamont's
eyes twinkled when ho heard the announce
ment, but he said nothing. The next day at
dinner he had chicken pie, the next oyster pie,
the next veal pie, and so on for a fortnight.
The victim made no complaint, but at last his
patience gave out, and he left the club in high
dudgeon. Thereafter when any member an
grily withdrew he was said to have "pied out."
Rough on tho Tonne Napoleons.
New York, February 11 Justice O'Brien,
In the Supreme Court to-day, denied without
comment the motion made on behalf of Henry
S. Ives and George H. Stayncr for a change of
venuo In the big suit brought against them by
the Cincinnati, Hamilton and Dayton railroad.
A New Bank for New Orleans.
Washington, February 11 Tjie Controller
ot tho Currency to-day authorized, the Amer
ican National Bank of NewOrlean. La., to be
Kin business with a capital of $200,000.
THE TOPICAL TALKKB.
How n Slodern Melodrama Wni Born The
New TerroTi ot the Coble Weather
Bnd for Sleighing and Good for Ice
men. It Is seldom that you run across a man who
stands success as well as Joseph Arthur does.
The author of '"The Still Alarm" has already
made a reasonably large fortune out of the
play, and he certainly can look for many more
thousands of dollars from It before its potency
is gone, but be wears a hat of the same size he
wore when be was still knocking at the door of
fortune a few years ago.
Juit now ybu may see a good deal of Mr.
Arthur If you will by dropping into tho Bijou
Theater any evening. A man rather above the
middle height.'dressed handsomely and inva
riably plug-hatted, with perhaps a flower in
bis buttonhole, bnt nevertheless an approach
able, affable fellow, with lots of good sense and
good humor, is Joseph Arthur.
V
Tiie way Mr. Arthur came to write "The
Still Alarm" has often been discussed, and I
myself remember being told some months ago
by a very sharp young man that this stirring
fire engine scene was not Joseph Arthur's at
all, but a theft from an older melodrama. But
on this point I now have certain knowledge.
"The Still Alarm" is Indigenous to Ohio. It is
Cinclnnattian from its very inception. Two
years ago Joseph Arthur was a guest of the
Palace Hotel in that city, and occupied a room
just brer the word 'hotel' in the big gilded
sign on the Sixth street side. Ho spent three
weeks therein, most of the time closely con
fined to it by illness. Reflection and sick bed
homilies were his principal diet. Ho often
wondered what the unseen future had in store
for him, the weather being hot The big alarm
bell on the "Gift Engine House," opposite,
boomed in his ear regularly four times within
the 24 hours. It summoned the men to the
turnout' and 'hltchup' practice. Then he
would jump from his bed to watch the ani
mated picture of trained horses dashing out of
their stalls, the automatic dropping of the har
ness, the men sliding down brass poles, and
then the rush and roar of the departure.
One night, the idea struck him like a shot.
What a scene for a play! 'It fairly hypnotized
him. It became bis constant companion. He
began next day to write. First he made his
own drawing of the scene. Then he prepared
models and sent them to Munn fc Co., of the
Scientific American, who applied to the Patent
omce for confirmation of Mr. Arthur's sole
right thereto as an invention. It took a year to
do it; hut the patent was granted in full, there
by establishing a precedent, as it is the only
stage scene that has ever been granted a patent
in its entirety. He next formulated his plot,
studied out his situations, created his charac
ters and filled their mouths with dialogues.
These are the lines upon which in Mr. Ar
thur's opinion all successful plays are written.
He also looked well after the very essential at
tributes "suspense" and "surprise," two of the
most valuable agents in dramatic construction.
But he did not attempt fine writing.
During the progress of the work he often
ran across to the fire engine house to get
points from the boys on watch and they all
know him well and will tell you now that he
haunted the place day and night. He con
ceived "Jack Manley" with a view to sym
bolize in him all the dignity, nobleness and ro
manticism of the character of the modern flre-
laddle. At first ho named his play "The
Plebeian" and had progressed as far as Gor
man, the villain of the piece, who, for obvious
reasons, he "caused to segregate the wires."
But before he took this license he visited the
"Gifts" again and asked them if that interest
ing act could be performed without Inter
ruption. "Oh, yes, many times the room is deserted,"
was the reply. But, said Mr. Arthur, "Suppose
your wires got out of order, how could you get
an alarm?" Why, then, we might get a "Still
Alarm," was tho answer.
"What Is a still alarm T" inquired the author.
"A verbal or telephone call to a flre."
"Then," said Arthur, '"The Still Alarm'
shall be the tltlo to my play," and straightway
went forth and copyrighted that title and
affixed it to his manuscript with the produc
tion ot the play.
V
There is a peculiar fact in connection with
"The Still Alarm" that has not yet been told,
and which would seem to smash once more the
traditional 13 superstition. There are just 13
letters in the tltlo "The Still Alarm," 13 letters
in the author's name, Joseph A Arthur, 13
people exactly in the caste. It ran 13 weeks in
New York City and just 13 weeks at the Prin
cess' Theater, London, and closed thereon
October 13 and reopened in this country No
vember 13.
V
Perhaps you've noticed how few accidents
happened when first the cable cars began to
run in this city, and how frequent they are be
coming now. The reason for this is probably,
to be found in tho fact that people have become
used to seeing the cars on the streets and do
not feel the samo wholesome dread of them
they inspired at first. Familiarity has bred
carelessness, if not exactly contempt, in this
case. At the same time, with the multiplica
tion of cable lines, it certainly will become
necessary for slower speed than is now the rule
with the cars at crowded crossings down town.
On several occasions lately I have noticed
cars on the Citizens' line arriving at the inter
section of Liberty and Sixth and Market streets
at a dangerously rapid gait. Pedestrians who
cross on tho lower street have to keep their
eyes open for the Allegheny horse cars, the
cable cars, ordinary vehicle traffic and an occa
sional locomotive, and the spot is full of perils
even to the most careful.
One of the greatest aggravations in the win
ter weather we have been having lately is that,
with dry and only moderately cold days and
nights, with a splendid moon and tolerably
clear skies, there has only been enough snow to
suggest the possibility of sleighing. If but a
couple of Inches of snow would fall now there
would be gpod sleighing all over the country,
or the roads are smooth and well frozen.
-
The ice harvest is proceeding gaily, and suffi
cient ice has been gathered in Allegheny coun
ty by this time to assure to dwellers out of the
city a fair supply for the summer. In the case
of the icemen the absence of snow in formida
ble quantity Is of course a source of rejoicing.
So, while young men and women sigh for the
joys of sleighing of which they have In this
neighborhood seen little for two or three win
tersthe icemen shout aloud their praises of
King Frost.
FILLED WITH FIEEAEMS.
The Carondclct Snlls for Ilnjti With Aid
for nippolytr,
NEw York, February 11 The steamer Car
ondclet sailed this afternoon for Samana. It
was authentically stated during the day that
133 cases of rifles, shells and ammunition,
brought here by the Red Star steamer West
ernland from Antwerp on Wednesday, had
been placed on board of the Carondelet in the
early hours of the morning.
It was announced officially to-day that Henry
Kunhardt, the Haytian Consul at Boston, has
ljccn removed by President Legitime.
DEATHS OP A DAY.
. Rev. Michael Stack.
SCBAHTON, I'A., February H. Kev. Michael
Slack, the wcU-known priest, died last night at
the Lackawanna Hospital, this city. His death
resulted.chlefly from the effects attending the
bursting of a pipe while taking a vapor bath in a
deposed from his pastorate by Bishop O'Hara, ot
the Ss;ranton diocese, because or certain church
difficulties in which lie disputed the authority of
the bishop, and which culminated lu the cele
brated Siack-O'llara case, which was tried in
ecclesiastical and civil court; and afterward
appealed, without .result, to l'ope Leo XI1L,
the case becoming a world-wide question.
Although Father btack and the bishop were af
terward reconciled, the latter would not rcsture
him to his parish or assign him a new one In the
diocese. Durlnghisilliiesshcwas ministered to
by two priests from the Cathedral parish, under
direction of the bishop, and he received the lact
rites of the church previous to deith. Private
funeral services wpre held to-day under the direc
tion or Jllshop O'lLir.i, whose authority Father
Stack had so long deled.
Iter. W. 8. Cnmpbell.
Special Telegram to The Dispatch.
Bellaihe, February H. Eev. W. S. Campbell,
pastor of the Episcopal Church here and at Mar
tin's Ferry, died this evening of dropsy, aged 33
cenrs. The remains will be taken to his parents'
home in Virginia for interment.
William Luebbe.
Mr. William Luebbe, a son of Henry Luebbe,
one of the members of the well-known firm of
Luebbe Bros., died at the home of his parents,
bprlng Hill, AUegheny, at IC:u5o'clock last night.
Ex-Premier Cotegipc.
KtoJAXEnio, February 14. Baron de Cotegipc,
recently Prime Minister of Brazil, Is dead.
THE Y0EKT0WN 18 ALL EIGHT.
A Thorough Teat Proves Her a Model of
Steadiness and Speed.
PlllLAPELPnu, February 11 The United
States steel gunboat Yorktown returned this
morning from her trial cruise down the Dela
ware Bay and out Into the ocen. Commodore
Fitzhugh spoke generally in high praise of the
craft. On Wednesday a run was made straight
away out to sea, and in coming back the York
town made a run of four hours with a 40-knot
breeze dead-on ahd behaved admirably. Cap
tain Steel says she did not roll or pitch, and he
never bad a vessel that was more plumb or
steady.
In another four hours' run she made an aver
age of 15.85 knots per hour, or about 20 miles,
thus proving her to be a very fleet ocean craft,
as well as a remarkably steady one. The en
gines of the Yorktown proved to be perfect
marvels for steadiness and power. Each engine
on a regular test marked 157 revolutions a min
ute, implying a horse power far ahead of the
contract requirements, but tho exact sum of
which cannot be given for some days, or until
all the indicator cards can be computed and
differentiated. The ship was tried In every
conceivable nay. in river, bav and ocean, and
was particularly maneuvered by Captain Steel,
under tho command of Commodore Fitzhugh,
as if engaged in fiat tie. She answered every
movement of the helm promptly, and moved
with a most satisfactory celerity, all the time
steady and solid, so that guns might be used
with the very best effect in action.
One of the marvels of these maneuvers was
the starting of the Yorktown ahead at full
speed and backing her at full speed. This feat
was accomplished iu 1 minute and 57 seconds,
an extraordinary result under any circum
stances. While at sea the sails were tested,
and it was "found that in this particular the
ship was as trim and complete as in any other.
The officers and crew, from the Commodore
down to the stokers, are loud in their praise of
the Yorktown, and they believe that she will
prove the pride of the new American navy, at
least until the mammoth cruisers. Baltimore,
Philadelphia and Newark shall come forth to
bear the American flag.
Commodore Fitzhugh promptly announced
the general result to the Secretary of the
Navy. There seems to be no doubt that his
report will be entirely favorable, and that the
gunboat Yorktown will be accepted and pre
pared at once to receive her command.
SWELL SOCIETY IN CB.INAD01I.
The Belles of tho Almond. Eyed Coterie of
New York Enjoying lite.
ISrSCIAL TELEGRAM TO TIIE'DISrATCILl
New York, February 11 A series of feast
ing and social gatherings of the Chinese ladies
of New York began last evening. They will
last for a week, and no man will be admitted.
Young Mrs. Yuet Sing gave a 6 o'clock tea at
tho WheyYnbg Lo restaurant. The entire
second story was gaily decorated with red and
yellow bunting and lanterns, and a long table
was heaped full with the imported goodies from
the Motherland. A big red card was conspic
uously posted at the foot of the first landing of
the restaurant, warning male patrons not to
profane the occasion by their presence. Only a
single male, attendant, the head waiter, was
allowed in their presence, to wait upon them.
Tho other attendants were the Chinese maids
of Mrs. Woo Kee, pretty Mrs. Linn Kivong On
and Mrs. Lee Ah Cham. They were maids of
several sizes and shades of colors, dressed in
short togas with great wide sleeves and spaci;
ous, black silk trousers, hatless and apronless,
each having a neat black cue tied with rib
bons. These and the frolicsome children fur
nished the only life amusements to the guests.
When a lady entered the hostess greeted her
by rising and lapping one big sleeve over the
other, and gently bowed her whole body two or
three times and singing. There were present
nearly a dozen of these rich ladies. After
mutual exchanging of courtesies, the hostess
ordered tea in tiny little cups In silver saucers
Then thefamous "suay yen," or water smoke,ln
long glittering Turkish pipes of white copper
was served by the maids to .-each guest. This
is the fashionable smoke of the ladies of China.
It is a mild perfnnred species of tobacco.
About 6 o'clock the feast began in tho same
style as the feasts of the men, only that tho
wines, of which there are several brands, were
milder than used by the men. The wines were
drunk In sips, while the ladies partook of the
chow chop swey, sharksflns, and pigeon feet,
etc It is at this time that the real sociability
of these ladies begins.
Six hours are usually allowed for such din
ners. All the ladies and their children were
dressed in the height of fashion of 3.000 years
ago, like a lot of big and little butterflies
around a spring daisy. Every one wore costly
diamonds, but the principal ornaments were
jet.
PROHIBITION IN IOWA.
Senator Wilson ,Snys it Has Illndo tho'
State Almost Crimeless.
Washington, February 11 Mr. Wilson, of
Iowa, to-day addressed the Senate in support
of, the bill relating to imported liquors, in
troduced by Mr. Frye on the 21st of December,
1SS7, reported back adversely from the Ju
diciary Committee on tho 19th of March. 1S88,
and then placed on the calendar. The bill
reads: "The consent of Congress is hereby
given that the laws of the several States re
lating to the sale of distilled and fermented
liquors within the limits of each State, may
apply to such liquors when they have been lm-
Eorted, in the same manner as when they have
een manufactured in the United States."
Mr. Wilson dwelt at considerable length on
the beneficent effect of tho anti-saloon law in
Iowa, quoting tho opinion of Judges as to the
remarkable reduction of crime since the law
had gone into operation. He quoted one of
the J udges as saying in regard to his judicial
district: "In many of the counties the jail is
almost an unnecessary building. In the last
three counties visited thero was not an occu
pint of the jail." He spoke of the Illiteracy of
Iowa having been brought down to 10 per
cent, Iowa being thus placed, he said, "at the
head of the educational column, not 6nly of
this country, hut of the world." Such a State
might hope fully to remove the district con
struction, which alone stood as one obstruction
in the way of the rightful exercise of her police
power, by which removal she could success
fully suppress crime.withln her borders.
No action was taken on the bill, which still
remains on the calendar.
TENNESSEE'S OPINION, TOO.
A Particular in Which Philadelphia and
Other Cities Is Surpassed br Pittsburg.
From the Nashville, Tcnn., American.
Philadelphia is usually looko1 upon as the
metropolis of the Commonwealth of Pennsyl
vania, but when it comes to publishing livo
newspapers, she must turn the throne over to
Pittsburg. The Dispatch, of the latter city,
is altogether the best newspaper that reaches
the American's exchange editor and this, not
only from the State of Pennsylvania, but from
anywhere. It is about the most carefully edited
paper we know of, and.barring its politicals the
most acceptable journal, in every detail, that
we know anything of.
POSTAGE STAlir FAMINE.
A Time Lock Safe in the Baltimore Office
Will Not Open.
Baltimore, February 11 Baltimore nar
rowly escaped a famine of postage stamps, as
the combination lock on the stamp safe in tho
postoffice refused to work properly jesterday
morning. An expert was at work all last night
and to-dav on the safe, but it withstood every
effort made to open it. and it is probable that
the front plates of the door will have to be re
moved, which will take a week's work. Cashier
Nicodemus went to Washington this mornipg
and brought over a simply of btamps.
Pnymnsiers to Meet Moon.
Washington, February 11 A reunion of
the paymasters of the army who served during
the War of tho Rebellion will be held hero at
the Ebbltt House on March 5. The address of
the Secretary is Colonel Thomas H. Gardner,
No. 1006 F street, northwest, Washington, D. C.
A Pointer for Poets.
From the New York Evening Snn.
A w ell-known English poet has a mind reader
who sits opposite him and takes down his
poems in shorthand as he thinks them.
AT CHEYENNE.
Young Lochlnvar came in from the West
With fringe on'hls trousers and fur on his vest:
The width ofhis hat brim could nowhere be beat
Ills number ten brogans were chock full of feet;
His girdle was horrent with pistols and tilings,
And he flourished a handful of aces on kings.
Jlhc fair Mariana sate watching a star.
wnen wno snouia turn up out uio young ijocnin-
vart
Her pulchritude gave him a pectoral glow.
And he reined np his boss with stentorian
"whoa,"
And turned on the maiden a rapturous grin
And modestly asked If he mightn't step in.
With preenceof mind that was marvelous quite,
The fair Mariana replied that he might;
So in througb the portal strode young Loch in var
r.-e-empted the claim and cleaned out the bar;
Though the Justice allowed he wa'n't wholly to
blame, - '"
He taxed him ten dollars and costs Just the same.
hugtnt Flekt, in the Chicago Sews.
DUTY OF EATING.
An English Writer Clnlms That Distaste for
Food is n Flinse of Bnrbarlsin-Conxlng
the Appetite Tlio Affectation ol Under
Eating Fnstlnc Too Lone nnd Then Eat
ing Too Itlnch n Great Mistake.
From the London Standard. 1
The Duty of Eating is the moral of a dis
course which one of our medical cotemporaries
addresses this week to the conscience of the
abstemious. It is impossible to dispute the ex
istence of the evil" at which tho physician
preacher points tHe finger of blame. There is
in these dais a deplorable lapse from the
healthy standard of rude appetite. "Many
people," as the writer remarks only too truly,
"do not know what it is to have a keen relish
for food." Women, it is notorious, aro the
worst and most persistent offenders. A cup of
tea and a morsel of toast in the morning, a roll
and butter at noon, and the merest affectation
of interest in soup, entree, and joint at dinner,
make up tie dietary of many ladies who pre
tend to fashion and feeling. It is only sweets
and these not always that kindle anything
like earnestness and enthusiasm. We hardly
needed professional admonition to make it
plain that this shirking of honest fare is un
wise. The novelty lies in the severity with
which the doctor dons the gown of the moralist
and proclaims that under eating is wrone.
"Without sufficient food," we are told, "neither
man nor woman can be'bappy or well," and as
it is an obvious duty to enjoy life and do one's
share in the world's work, it follows that we
are under the most solemn obligation to take
an adequate amount of nourishment. Our
teacher, however, it must be owned, takes np
his parable against the prevailing tendency to
meager diet in the kindliest and most helpful
spirit. He will not hear of the doctrine of in
eradicable depravity. Those who err may
work out their own reformation, and that with
out the slightest consciousness of painful
effort.
Can the Appetito bo Conxed?
"Eating fs a duty" granted; but eating, he
goes on to affirm, ought to be a pleasure also.
It lies in every one's power to master his re
pugnance to the creature comforts of the
table. "The appetite," it is laid down with an
artistic disregard for verbal accuracy, "can be
coaxed and trained as well as any other part of
the body." Distaste for food is a mere phase
of barbarism. "The woman who, without be
inglll, refuses to take reasonable meals is on
precisely the same intellectual level as the
savage who refuses to be worried with the dis
comfort of clothes." But what Is the poor sin
ner to do? How is she to take the first step np
the ladder of civilization? How is she, in tine,
to learn to eat? The answer is by eating.
Whether she likes it or not, she. must sit down
and empty her plate. The expert pledges bis
reputation that there is no danger in eating a
fair quantity three or four times a day, even
though appetite be wanting and digestion be
impaired. And he would make the path of the
returning transgressor not only safe but pleas
ant. Secure "appetizing" food; persevere with
it, and repugnance will before long convert it
self into liking. There is a fascinating sim
plicity about the plan that is almost irresisti-
Old maxima Set Aside.
The counsel tendered will, at any rate, be
most welcome to a large class who do nofpar
tlcularly stand in need of a stimulus. Rightly
or wrongly, the bon vivant will interpret the
advice as a sanction to his spontaneous tastes.
Hitherto, the epicure and gourmet have en
joyed themselves with tear and trembling. The
tags of the moralists and the precepts of the
doctors have all been at the service of the
ascetics. The schoolboy who sees his slim, sis
ter struggling conscientiously with "a fair
quantity of food three or four times a day,"
will feel himself more than ever entitled to
have agood "stuff" at the pastry cook's after
he has done his duty by the leg of mutton and
suet pudding at borne. The most prudent of
Scotchmen will for once indulge in that for
bidden dream of bliss as much haggis as he
would like to have. No doubted the blast that
has been sonnded against the pernicious prac
tice of starving could not logically be inter
preted as an incitement to the opposite ex
treme of gluttony. But to those who have im
bibed the traditional teaching of the doctors
on the subject of meat and drink, the open
disrespect shown to the authority of hunger
must bo demoralizing. "Eat not to live, but
live to eat," might he construed to enjoin an
adequate menu. Bnt bow can we possibly get
over the time-honored maxims that we should
rise from table hungry; that we should never
eat unless we nave an appetite; tnac dyspepsia
, is the sure proof, and chastisement, either of
error or excess?
Hunger the Best Snnce.
Physiology is not the most graceful of themes,
but it will not, we trust, offend any one's fas
tidiousness, if we recall the trite rule that when
the stomach goes wrong the only thing is to
give it a holiday and let it recruit its lost
energies. It is a revolutionary age, and in
nothing is the revolt from prescription more
striking than in this repudiation of the stand
ing dogma of the hygienists of the last genera
tion. "Stinting," perhaps, will have its turn
once again. The lay word has to accommodate
itself to the whims of the physicians. Port
wine has been in and out of favor within the
life of many who like to think themselves
young. Alcohol has been commended and
abused; prescribed and vetoed; till at last, the
patient, in mere desperation, is reduced to giv
ing up champagne, if it was his one delight,
and sipping Scotch whisky, if he has a rooted
aversion to spirits. The new dogma on the
subject of hearty meals is of nentral complex
ion. On the other band it peremptorily orders
people to eat who would very much sooner
fast, but on the other, it directs that the food
shall be made tempting. If only the benevo
lent physician who lass down laws for us had
imparted the secret ot giving a zest to the pal
ate, lfe would complete his services to feeble
humanity. Tho best sauce, according to the
Latin Delectus, is hunger; but supposing hun
ger is lacking, what condiment can be found to
take its place? The confirmed dj'speptie will
bo sceptical about the possibility of surviving
the discipline of surfeit to which our contem
porary lightly invites him. The insipidity of
the dish lies in the palate that has to taste it
Where Is the savour to come from if, instead of
craving, there be loathing? There is the diffi
culty, and, with all respect for the new teach
ing, we cannot help thinking that conscience
in such cases, is a very bad stimulus to appetite.
Girls and Grandmothers Compnred.
Where unaer-eatlng isa matter of habit, or
fashion, or affectation, or caprice, the warning
given by our cotemporary is one that ought to
lead to better ways. It is not, however, the
quantity eaten, but the manner of eating, that
saddens the heart of the' observer of nine
teenth century civilization. The poor figure
which onr girls cut at "the dinner table in
comparison with what their grandmothers
were, or, viewed through the mellowing lapse
of time, are popularly adjudged to have been
is rather a symptom than a cause of ill. They
are captious about their food because they are
too often frivllous in their lives. They spend
the morning in an armchair, over the latest
novel, instead of wooing health and good looks
by a good long walk. They have got It into
their foolish heads that it Is rather an inter
esting than a discreditable thing to be delicate,
and the result Is that they get into a way of liv
ing on a few spoonfuls of soup and a helping
ot souffle pudding. Their father, in his way,
leads a life just as little in accordance with the
dictates of nature. He gets up in time to hur
ry off (by train, of course) to his office; he puts
aside his briefs or his papers to bare a hasty
snack, returns to work, drives home in time to
dress foi dinner, and devotes to that most
complex and most tedious of functions tliepoor
remnant of an appetite which ought to have
"lived and thrived" on reasonably organized
repasts in tho earlier hours of the day.
w
The Mistakes of .-onie People.
The total consumption of food in Great
Britain is, probably, far in excess of tho re
quirements ot healthy existence; it is the dis
tribution of it that is f-.ulty. Tho average cit
izen fasts too long, and then eats too much and
tooquickly. To do him justicc.he is quite con
scious of the mistaken arrangement ofchis life.'
But it is not he who made soefctyand Its
usages. He was born into life, and must take
things as they come; and, in spite of all the re
monstrances of doctor.-, he will go on doing
what he knows to be hjgienically wrong, but
finds on business grounds to bo inevitable.
The smaller class of people, who might make
good meals it they chose, and perversely and
obstinately trifle 'ith the serious business of
eating, mav possibly be atfected and converted
by the vigorous appeal to tboir conscience. In
this caso there is no fatal bent to struggle with.
Children aro unaffectedly devoted to tne de
lights of eating and drinking, md it only re
mains for their parents and guardians, while
keeping them up to the desired standard of
generous fare and healthy living, to follow
their example.
Emperors Come High.
From the New York Tribune.
The annual Income of the young German
Emperor is estimated at $1,000,000. It is to be
hoped, for the sake of their own peace ot
mind, that when the German people contem
plate these figures tbey feel moved to exclaim
philosophically, "Emperors come high, but we
must have them."
TALK DP THE METROPOLIS.
Merely a Million Involved.
CHEW TORS BUREAU SPECIALS.
New York, February li-Carraon Parse
and the Freemasons of the Jerusalem Lodge,
Flalnfleld, are contesting the will of Mrs. Sarah
Margaret Latimer, who died two weeks ago.
Mrs. Latimer left an estate worth ?LOOO,000.
Mrs. Latimer originally made a will in which
3Ir. Parse was made executor, and several
thousand dollars were bequeathed to Jerusa
lem Lodge. A few months after the execution
of this will Mr. Parse advised Mrs. Latimer to
Invest $10,000 In a certain copyright. She did it.
Mrs. Latimer subsequently became convinced
that Mr. Parse had induced her to make a poor
investment. She destroyed her old will and
made a new ono'in which she entirely ignored
Mr. Parse and the Jerusalem Lodge. In the
present contest Mr. Parse claims that the copy
right investment was better than Mrs. Latimer
supposed, and that her erroneous idea of its
value influenced her unduly in the disposition
of her property. The Jerusalem Lodge takes
the same ground.
Four Morderers to bo Tried.
, Four indicted murderers were brought-to the
bar in Court of General Sessions to-day. John
Flynn, the youngest prisoner, is 26 years old.
He.cut bis father in the arm with a p'enknif e,
and the old man bled to death. John Burke
stabbed Michael Moore in the stomach at a
christening party. Moore died. Daniel Sulli
van kicked Frederick Michael to death daring
a political discussion two days before election.
Lizzie Hughes, gray-haired and wrinkled, threw
her roommate, Annie Fox, down, a flight of
stone steps, fracturing her skull. Three of the
murderers will he tried immediately. The
fourth trial was fixed for next week.
St. Valentine's Day Played Oat.
According to the postal officials, the memory
of St. Valentine was but little honored to-day.
Six years ago double the average daily amount
of mail matter wa3 handled in the postoffice on
St. Valentine's Day. Extra men were employed
to distribute it. Since then there has been a
big decrease every year. The malls were hard
ly any larger than on other days.
An Insane Deserted Woman's Act.
Mrs. Sophie Buck threw her 4-months-old
child out of a third-story window, this morn
ing. The baby landed on a heap of small wood
and scrap iron in the court. Its cries brought
the neighbors to its rescne. A slight scalp
wound and a scratch or two on tho back were
the child's only injuries. Mrs. Bnck was taken
to an asylum. Her hnsband's desertion made
her insane.
Found Flontlng nnd Frozen.
Early this morning two boatmen fonnd a
yawl drifting across the bay near tho Narrows.
On the bottom of the yawl lay a coatless and
batless man, frozen tight in the ice which had
accumulated in the boat. He was taken ashore
and thawed onr. His hands and feet were
badly frozen. He said he went on a spree in
Brooklyn last night, but bad no idea of how he
got into the middle of the bay.
A PLEASANT UBIETY.
Gaests of tho Allegheny Commanderr
Knights Templar Enjoy ir.
The third entertainment of the Drill Corps
of the Allegheny Coranandery No. 35, Knights
Templar, held at Lafayette Hall last evening,
was a very pleasing success.
The musical and literary selections, which
were rendered during the evening, made up a
programme that was not only artistic, but at
the samo time amusing and entertaining.
While Prof. Byron W. King commanded the
attention of the audience with some clever
reel tations. Miss PhillipsdelightedJaer listeners
byteinging two capital songs. Miss Kittio
FuUerton excited laughter ny her funny
declamation?, and Mr. C. V. Lewis kept every
body roaring at his irresistible dialect imita
tions, and the Misses Marshall charmed their
hearers with a couple of very excellently exe
cuted piano duets.
After the entertainment was over the guests
adjourned to the dining room of the hall, where
a very tempting lunch had been prepared,
which was succeeded by dancing, the Great
Western Band furnishing music for the amuse
ment. FOB THE PAY NUESEEY.
Tho Ladles Will Give n Dinner nnd Bazaar
for Its Benefit.
A number of ladies met in the Eighth Street
Reformed Presbyterian Chnrch yesterdayand
completed arrangements for a dinner and
bazaar, to be given in Old City Hall on Wash
ington's Birthday for the benefit of the Alle
gheny Day Nursery.
The dinner will be given at noon, and in the
evening the bazaa' will take place. There will
be a chocolataire drl 1, and music furnished for
apromenade by Prof. Zitterbart. A number
of booths will be handsomely fitted up and the
ladies in charge will be attired in pretty cos-'
tunics.
Last year tne uay jNurserycarea-ior i.ijos
children while their mothers went out'to work.
AN AFTEEN00N EECEPTI0N.
Mrs. Thomas Blair Welcomed to Her Future
Home la This City.
The ladles of the East Liberty Valley turned
out yesterday afternoon to attend the recep
tion of Mrs. Harvey Clulds, Jr., of Shadyside.
The gathering was given in honor of Mrs.
Thomas S. Blair, nee Miss Emma Parker, of
Chicago.. The latter, it will be remembered,
was married January 16 to Thomas S. Blair, the
young business man of this city;
The young couple have just returned from
their wedding trip, and the reception was given
to welcome the bride to her future home on
Western avenue, Allegheny.
A Bali and a Banquet.
The members of Pittsburg Council No. 117.
Jr. O. U. A. M., celebrated the eighteenth anni
versary of the organization of their Council, in
Central Turner Hall. Forbes street, last night,
by giving a crand ball and banquet. There
were about 260 couples in the grand march, and
the entertainment furnished a fow hours of
delightful pleasure to all present.
Tho Cantata of Judith.
The Cantata of "Judith" was rendeied last
evening at Masonic Hall, Allegheny, under the
direction of the author and composer, Mr. E.
V. Hoelsche. A large audience was present.
The proceeds are for the benefit of the Yonng
People's Christian League's syndicate fnnd.
The entertainment will be repeated this even
ing. Progressive Euchre Parties.
Mrs. W. H. House, of Center avenue, gave a
progressive euchre party yesterday afternoon.
The affair was very pleasant, and continued
from 2 until 5 o'clock.
Mr. and Mrs. James M. Kinney entertaiued
the Shadyside Euchre Clnb at their residence,
on South Hiland avenue, East End, last
evening.
A Children's Party.
A very pleasant children's party was given
yesterday afternoon at tho residence of Mr.
Sullivan Johnson, on Western avenne, Alle
gheny. Over 100 invitations were Issued and
about SO persons were present. Prof. Tony
WhltP entertained the children with a delight
ful "Punch and Judy" show.
A Scwickiey Entertainment.
An entertainment was given at the Sewickley
Opera Hnnse, last night, for the benefit of the
local public school library. Some good local
talent participated, with outside performers.
The attendance was very good.
ODDITIES OF LEGISLATION.
The Kansas Legislature has been petitioned
for a law authorizing thelynchlng of horse
thieves. "
A man in tho Indiana Legislature proposes
that the State shall investigate the relation of
the groundhog to the weather.
A Wisconsin Assemblyman has introduced
a humane bill that cows shall be milked twice
a day except when milked Dy calves.
The Nebraska Legislature has before it
a measure for the artificial production of rain
storms by mean's of explosives and artillery.
lllis Pennsjlvan'a Legislature Is considering
an anti-treating bill; also a law to prevent
cigarette smoking by persons under 16 years of
age.
A bill before the Nevada Legislature makes
it a mlsdemeanor'"f or any woman to "wear a
hat at any theater of greater height than three
inches."
The California Legislature has evolved a new
word. It is "difHeqmbble," meaning a flank
attack on a main question by criticising some
minor detail.
THE New Jersey Legislature is considering a
bill which forbids under heavy penalties any
employer asking an employe whether or not he
"belongs to a labor union.
CU1U008 CONDENSATION.
A Massachusetts lady boasts of having
made 799 pies during the past year.
One grower in Oviedo, Fla., lost 6,000
boxes of. oranges by dropping during the lato
wet spell.
A bill has been introduced in the
Alabama Legislature prescribing the study of
State history in the public schools.
In China people in easy cirenmstances
buy their coffins long before they need them,
and exhibit them as ornamental pieces of fur
niture. It has been calculated that not less than
20.e00,000 of meteors, each large enough to be
visible as a "shooting star," enter our atmos
phere dally.
The Hessian fly is destroying the wheat
crop in Central Illinois. In some places whole
fields have been destroyed. The open bnt
freezing weather is also aiding in the work of
destruction.
The Paris Academy ot Science is jnst
now excited over a plant called Colucasia. This
plant often exhibits a trembling or a vibrating
motion without any apparent cause, and as
many as 100 or 120 vibrations have been ob
served in a single minute.
The Paris Figaro says that the Hilts'
(rated London iY'rics will erect an exact re
production of Shakespeare's house at Strat
t ord-on-Avon for its headquarter at the Paris
Exposition this year. The intention is to make
tho copy complete in every detail.
A red-cheeked, rusty-looking old gen
tleman bought a bag of shorts at a Bangor,
He, store not long aco, and the new clerk re
fused to let him take them till be had paid.
Ho afterward found out that his customer
was an ex-Vice President of the United States.
This advertisement appeared in aBome,
Ga., paper: "Wanted A couple who wi-h to
marry to call on Justice Walter Harris in his
new office over Bass fc HUl's real estate office.
He has received bis commission, and is ready
to perform marriage ceremonies at a very low
rate."
A gentleman in Columbus. Ga., has a
razor which has been in constant use 104 years.
It bears a close resemblance to a broadax, but
does good service yer. and may cut many a
whisker before it is finally.Iaid away among the
relics of bygone days or used lor trimming
corns.
The other day at Hampton. Va., Indian
School an elocutionist of some power had been
reading and reciting for the entertainment and
instruction of the school, and among other se
lections was one more or less familiar to tho
Indians. After tho entertainment had closed
an Indian girl, in all seriousness, asked: "Did
that man read to show bow it ought to be read,
or how it ought not to be read?"'
In the Ponce de Leon Hotel refrigerator,
in St. Augustine, Fix, are 500 bottles of cham
pagne and other wines which are kept at a tem
perature almost to the freezing point. Fine
old sherry of the vintage of 1S23 and IMS, and
old white and Dom Pedro and numerous other
brands of wines of great age and rare flavor fill
the shelves around the room. One hundred
silver champagne coolers, costinc the sum of
15 each, are used in the freezing of cham
pagne for guests at dinner.
The report of Adjutant General Drum
places the numerical strength of the New York
State militia at 13,532, the greatest in the
Union. Pennsylvania is second, with 8,351, and
Ohio third, with 5,327. The fourth in line is
South Corolina, which has 5,305, or only 3Z2 less
than Ohio, although the unorganized militia of
the two States are 115,000 and -S50.0C0 respect
ively. Massarhusettcs comes next, with 5,102,
but the sixth State might lead to some random
guessing, as it is Georgia, which surpasses Illi
nois by a few hundred. Little New Jersey, al
ways an enthusiastic military State, follows,
having 4,181 organized militia, against the 1219
of Illinois, with Chicago to help. The next is
California.
The ingenious plan proposed by a Ber
lin inventor, of It simple and inexpensive ele
vator for private dwellings in place of the
ordinary staircase, has attracted some atten
tion as a long-felt desideratum. It js on the
principle of the Inclined railway, and the
motive power is furnished by the city water,
which is applied in the cellar: each flight has
its separate chair, so that, for example, one
person can ascend from the first to the 'second
story while another Is on his way from the
second to the third, or still another is descend
ing from tho fifth to the fourth. The chair,
being only of the width ot the human body,
requires but little space, and still leaves a free
passage for any who wish to walk up or down,
instead of riding. It Is set in motion by a simple
Ercssure upon one of its arms, while after it
as been used it slides back to the bottom step,
its descent being regulated in such a manner
that the carrying or a passenger is a matter of
entire safety. The motive power is. of course,
more or less expensive, according to the cost
of water, this beinc, it is stated, in Berlin, at
the rate of a little more than one-tenth ot a
cent only for each trip.
Nearly five years ago the steamship
Germania, of the Lloyd line, departed from
Hague bound for New York. On board were
over 1,000 passengers and a highly valuable
cargo. The steamship never reached port. No
tidings of her were ever heard, and although
given uo for lost several years ago, the partic
ulars oi neriate were never iKiiuwu. iucuujvc
afternoon, while walking along the beach of
Ha3Sler's Haven." southeast of Melbourne,
Fla., Frank P. Hassler lound a wino bottle
lvmc on the sands. It was almost covered with
barnacles and moss. On picking it np he fonnd
It had been securely corked. Scraping tha
slimy moss off the bottle, two pieces of paper
were seen inside. The neck of the bottle was
broken off and the papers withdrawn. One
was a blank bill of lading of the steamer Ger
mania, Lloyd line, printed in German. The
other paper was simply brown wrapping
paper, one side of which was covered with
writing in German, the characters being almost
illegible. After much trouble the following
translation was made: "The steamship Ger
mania is on fire and sinking. Gale blowing and
all boats swamped. All hope is gone. Jobann
Weinbergg, Stuttgart, Germany,Aprill7,1881"
CLIPPED BITS OF WIT.
Client (in Hew York law office some
weeks hence) I have now laid the whole case
before yon. What action do you advise?
Lawyer Cleveland (absently) Dan, what Is your
opln (recovering hlmseir) Sir, 1 will take the
matter under advisement. Call around to-morrow.
CAicaao Tribune.
Love's Young Dream. Little girl (at
school) What did the-tcachersend yon here for?
Little boy She said I was bad and must come
over and sit with the girls.
'I like yon. Can you stay long!"
"Guess not. I wasn't very bad."
"Well, you be badder next time." Sew Xort
Weekly.
Theory and Practice. Slistress Mercy
on me, what a kitchen '. Every pot, pan and dish
Is dirty, the table looks like a junk shop, and
why, it will take you a week to get things cleaned
np! What have yoa been doing?
Servant-Sure, mam, the young Ieddles has lust
been down here showing nic how they roast a
potato at the cooking school. Sew Torn Weekly.
A. Come, now, old chappie, why so sad?
B. 1 have been unfortunate In love.
A.-IIow's that? hay on.
B. (dolefully) You see, my first sweetheart
died, the second took the veil, and the third
(heaves a sign) ahl
A.-Wcil, the third?
B. The third became my wife! llannlg
faltlget. A Clew at Last, Police Captain Yoa
are working on the murder of Greatman, ain't
you?
Detective Yes: been on It six weeks.
Well, I see by the papers that a fellow who
lives In the alley aronnd the corner has confessed
that he Is the murderer."
"By Jinks! Maybe that's a clew."-Phtladel-phia
Record.
Mr. Brefe Less Did yon read the account
of my heroic rescue or a child from under the feet
of a runaway team?
Miss Edith No, Ithfnknot.
Mr. Brefe Less Oh, yes, the naperhad nearly a
quarter or a column about It, headed "Heroism
or a 1'romlncnt Young Attorney."
Miss Kdlth-Wliy, yes, I saw the headlines, but
1 never dreamed of It being joaiTerre tlautt
Express.
A Horrifying Blunder. Mrs. De Pink
Oh! oh I oh! 1 shall go distracted.
Mr. De Fink (springing to her side) Merciful
heavens! What has happened?
The washerwoman has made a mlstake-and
sent me oue of Mrs. AVestcnd's lace handker
chiefs." Well, what of It?"
"What of It.' What or ltf Oh yon you
Why, Jlrs- Westend must have received my mis
erably cheap Imitation lace handkerchief, and It
has my name on it." Philadelphia Record.
A young gentleman took his sister, a wee
miss, the- other day to see a family In which he Is
a regular caller. The little girl made herseir quite
at home, and exhibited great fondness for one ot
the young ladies, bugging her heartily.
"How very affectionate she Is," said the lady of
the bouse.
'Yes, Just like her brother," responded the
yonng lady, unthinkingly.
1'aterramlllas looked up sternly over bis specta
cles, the young gentleman blushed, and th-rewas
.consternation in the family circle. London
Sid-Mitt.
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