-THE PITTSBURG "DISPATCH, WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 6, "1889.
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Me BMraiqj.
ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8, ISM.
Vol. i No. 3G5. Entered at 1'lttsburg I'ost
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: PITTSBURG, -WEDNESDAY, FEB. G, 1ES9.
THE SUPREME COUSrS SOMERSAULT.
The Supreme Court has beaten Herrmann
by the rapidity and completeness -with which
it has made a large number of very promi
nent thing3 undergo a rapid disappearance.
Monday morning the municipal atmosphere
on the Nortbside was burdened with the
complications arising out of the probability
that Allegheny must cither accept the form
of government prescribed for third-class
cities by the pending bill, which it did not
wish to do; or take the Pittsburg charter as
a second-class city, which it would like less;
or adopt the new bill just sent on to the
Legislature, which some of its citizens liked
least of all. Harrisbnrg was crowded with
the political magnates of the State, and
complications were cropping out at every
turn. Presto! and the Supreme Court makes
the whole horde ot troubles disappear by the
simple method of throwing a somersault, re
versing itself and upholding the constitu
tionality of the act declared unconstitutional
last year.
In the absence of a written opinion, which
is to appear in the fullness of time, it is im
possible to estimate the chain of reasoning
by which the Court decides that it was
wrong. On the face, it seems to vindicate
the legislative power of classification to the
full extent of dividing the cities of the
State into as many classes as there are cities
and assigning one city to each class. The
former ruling was to the effect that it might
be done in the two higher classes where the
division was by hundreds of thousands, but
that when it came to cutting them up with
divisions measured by the tens of thousands,
it was time to call a halt This position ap
pears to be abandoned now; but whether
there may not be, somewhere down toward
the bottom, a natural scale of division which
will be asserted as assential, remains to be
seen.
The quick change relieves Allegheny
from its quandary and is therefore received
with enthusiasm, if not admiration. But it
can hardly fail to strengthen the suspicion
that our ultimate tribunal is a rather un
certain quantity.
A SELF-BEFORHATOBY CARTOON.
It is interesting to observe that the scan
dalous features of journalism are to be sup
pressed. The last issue of Judge devotes a
page to representing the unreliable newspa
per reporter as a fiend, scandal-monger, and
everything else that is demoralizing and ne
farious. It is beyond question that there is
a good deal of scandal in the press, and the
examples where it is 6erved up on the slight
est foundation and in the coarsest form are
furnished by the highly-colored pictures of
the class of journalism of which Judge is a
leading exponent It is encouraging to ob
serve that the evil of scandal-mongering is
perceived by this cotemporary. This affords
ground for .Be hope that it will .pull the
beam out of its own eye.
LIBELS ON FnTSBUBG.
Pittsburg's skin is not particularly thin.
The taunts of her rivals and the barbed ar
rows of the envious do not upset her diges
tion or deprive her of sleep. But isn't
it about time for the humorists to stop talk
ing about Pittsburg as the smoky city, and
making jokes on her alleged dirtiness, and
the grimy perils of her atmosphere? These
jokes are founded on a lie. The repetition
of that which is untrue is not in itself
funny. A joke should satirize, make light
or laughter of some fact
It is really painful to find such a clever
paper as our humorous cotemporary Puck
falling into the same old hole with a joke
about a Pittsburg man brushing his beard
with a shoe brush, because it could not have
any effect on his soot-begrimed face. One of
C. J. Taylor's delightful sketches is wasted
on this feeble and mendacious jokelet,
more's the pity.
Ten years ago or less Pittsburg deserved
to be joked on the score of its fogs and
smoke. To-day with less smoke than any
other manufacturing city in the world, and
less fog than even the imperial city of Kew
York has to put up with, Pittsburg can't see
anything funny in being told that she is un
clean. If Puck and some of his brilliant
jokists and artists will come West of the
Alleghenies for a day or two they will find
lots of material for good-natured satire in
our busy community, but not a bit of it will
be the smoke and dreary darkness with
which they insist upon endowing us.
ANTI-ANNEXATION ARGUMENTS.
An adverse view of the project to annex
Canada to the United States is furnished by
the Toronto "World, which boils over with
wrath at the idea. It is somewhat unique
to find it asserting of the United States that
"half the impetus of what is called Anglo
phobia is an effort to improve themselves
on English models, and to abandon the
lower rnts into which they are grooved."
When this argument is clinched by the
declaration: "In their first hundred years
the Americans have not produced a poet or
a philosopher of the first rank," the argu
ment may be considered as clinched. The
gigantic examples of genius produced by
Canada in the same hundred years, who
dwarf Bryant, Longfellow, Emerson and
Holmes by comparison, cannot, of course,
be degraded by bringing them into the
United States. But in its vantage-ground
of literary supremacy, we hope that the es
teemed TTorW will look up the meaning of
"Anglophobia" and discover that it is
anything but "an effort to improve our
selves on English models."
BASBEBS STILL TALE.
Some eccentric and melancholy person
from a place known indifferently as Boston
or' the Hub, has seen fit to inform the
world that the modern barber is taciturn,
that his loquacity has forsaken him and he
chats no longer. Upon this assertion as a
basis our Bostanian scur builds up a cun
ning theory to he effect that there is a ten
dency, over wlich he weeps, while confess-
ing that it is in the line of what we know
of the great principles of evolution, for the
barbers of our day to become dumb and ut
terly speechless.
"We think this view is too sanguine. In
plain English it is too good to bo true.
AVhether or not the barber in Boston has
lost the use of his tongue and we can see
good reasons for his becoming speechless in
the presence of so much concrete wisdom as
the average Bostonian represents it is a
fact to which thousands of our citizens will
testily that the Pittsburg barber talks as
much as ever. His jaw has not stiffened,
neither has'his nimble tongue ceased to
wag with the irritating constancy, Dut not
the quietness, of an amiable poodle's tail. The
fusillade of jokes which native and foreign
jesters have fired at the centleman of the
razor has not affected the Pittsburg crafts
man in the slightest. He talks with fluency
still about anything or nothing, prefer
ably the latter. Lather and language are
equally at his command; and he dabs the
one into his victim's mouth while he pours
the other into his ears.
If the Bostonian observer had been cor
rect in the generalization of his small ex
perience there would be great rejoicing to
day everywhere. Silence would look very
sweet in the shades of a barber shop.
A HEW ANTI-COMBINATION OEGAN.
It is with a large amount of gratification,
not unmixed with surprise, that we find the
following sweeping declaration of a public
duty in the editorial columns of the New
York Mail and Express:
The penal codo ought to be amended in titlo
8. chapter 8, by making it a penal ollenso to
take or mako any oath, promise or pledge of
obedience, loyalty, submission or co-operation
to or with any officer or authority not recog
nized and instituted by law, or any party
claiming to be snch officerorauthority.whcther
of any voluntary society, corporation or asso
ciation. The proposed enactment appears to be
rather too sweeping. For example, to pun
ish a man for his pledge of obedience to
and co-operation with the order of Masonry
or his church organization would be a little
severe. But the main principle so obvi
ously applies to one of the greatest and
most powerful evils of the day, which capi
talists are engaged in upholding, that we
warmly welcome this new recruit to the op
position against the trusts and monopolistic
combinations.
The keystone of all combinations to sup
press competition is the pledge of obedi
ence to and co-operation with the authority,
established not only without being recog
nized and instituted by law, but in direct
defiance of the principles of law, as de
clared by the highest legal authorities. The
last example of this sort is furnished by the
acts of the great railroad corporations which
have renewed their oft-repeated and oft
broken pledges to obey a central authority
wholly outside the corporate powers, for the
illegal purpose of suppressing competition.
It may be a somewhat Draconian treatment
to send all the eminent corporation mag
nates to the penitentiary; but when the
good Col. Shepard says that they ought to
go there, they should take warning and ab
jure their illegal efforts, to inject value into
watered stocks.
There may be a suggestion that this
declaration of the new opponent of illegal
combinations is only intended to apply to
trades-unions. But the person who con
strues it that way must accuse the pious
Shepard of advocating a different kind of
law for capital from what he would enact
for struggling labor.
WHEN ME. SCOTT DANCED.
Since the flood no, the election very
little has been heard of the anti-monopolist,
monopolist, coal operator, orator and dis
penser of Democratic spoils, Congressman
"W. L. Scott, of Erie. He felt, doubtless,
that, after his efforts in the campaign, he
was entitled to simmer in silence, and the
public acquiesced without complaint But
he is beginning to boil again. The expiring
flames in the Democratic range have made
him sing with the cheeriness of a tin kettle
at supper time.
Mr. Scott boiled over on Saturday night.
It was at the "Whitney ball at "Washington.
The flower of the Democracy were there, and
of course that included the representative
from Erie. He entered the ballroom in a
dress suit of ordinary cut; but he left it at
tired in radiancy which illuminated him as
the nimbus glorifies a pictured saint Of
course he kept his clothes on, but it is pos
sible that his pride-swollen bosom made
him wish that his garments had been built
for a larger man.
The secret of the elevation of Mr. Scott's
spirits can be tersely explained. Mrs.
Cleveland danced a quadrille with him.
Mr. Cleveland does not dance; Mr. Scott
does, beautifully. "When, therefore, Mr.
Scott asked Mrs. Cleveland to give him the
next quadrille, she said yes with genuine
confidence. She knew that because Mr.
Scott had not succeeded in making the
entire nation dance to his piping it did not
follow that he could not flourish the fan
tastic toe with the grace of a graduate of La
Seals. Probably Mr. Cleveland himself
assisted his beautiful wife to a favorable
consideration of Mr. Scott's invitation by
pointing out that one Matthew Stanley
Quay had made Mr. Scott and many other
obstinate Democrats dance a measure last
November.
Anyhow Mr. Scott led out The First
Lady of the Land, and the flashing of his
patent leathers met the dancing glances
from his partner's eyes in mid air. The
whole ballroom was electrified. As a mat
ter of fact, it was not a quadrille that was
danced, but a pas de deux. Years hence the
young people who were at "Whitney's ball
will say to their grandchildren: "You
ought to have seen Mr. Scott dance with
Mrs. Cleveland they danced in those
days!"
"We hope Mr. Scott and the illustrious
and lovely lady who danced with him may
never be made to dance to a less joyful
tune.
NOT MUCH OF A JOKE.
It is seldom that the fool-killer does such
a wonderfully piece of good work as he ac
complished in the neighborhood of Evans
ville the other day. A young farmer named
Heidel sought to frighten a notoriously
superstitious colored man, by dressing him
self in a white sheet and hiding in the
woods through which his victim had to pass.
The practical joke was rather too success
ful. The negro was horribly frightened
when he saw the white figure glide out of
the thicket, but instead of running away be
struck at the apparition with an ax. The
skull of the practical joker unfortunately
met the descending steel. This was not on
the joker's programme, but it ended the per
formance all the same. At this price prac
tical joking is an expensive luxury, and it
is to be hoped that mock "White Caps and
other idiots will bear Heidel's fate in mind.
Quite a striking parallel is drawn by the'
bright New York Evening Sun, between
the death of Prince Rudolf and the termin
ation of the plot to restore the Pretender to
the throne of England in "Henry Esmond."
Our cotemporary says: "The Prince in the
story is not slain, though he crosses swords
with the man who has followed him to his
bedchamber to avnge his Bister's dishonor."
The parallel is an interesting one in the
fact that both the story and the real life
show a weak and vicious Prince can fool
away his throne, if not his life, by potty
intrigue. But in the interest of accurate
quotation we wish the esteemed Sun would
overhaul its Thackeray and observe that the
person who is represented as crossing swords
with the Prince was not Beatrix's brother,
but her second cousin and unsuccessful
lover.
The statement that the errand of John C.
New to the East is causing prominent states
men to go into hiding is tolerably encourag
ing. If New retires to privacy with them,
we shall, temporarily at least, enjoy an
idyllic state of politics.
The news published yesterday that the
suit which the Government was prosecuting
for the Central Pacific Railroad to enforce
its claim to a disputed portion of the land
grant, had been decided in favor of the com
pany, means that thirty farmers are to be
evicted from the lands they have made valu
able by cultivation for over sixteen years.
The fact that the decision was rendered by
those lights of the judiciary, Sawyer and
Field, is not wholly calculated to satisfy the
public of its perfect justice.
There are now said to be serious obsta
cles to the annexation of Canada. The
most serious one is the objection of the Ca
nadians themselves. "When they want to
come they can come; Dut until they wish it,
they cannot
The prophesy of the St. Louis Globe-Democrat
that "Senator Brown, of Georgia,
will be one of the first of the accessions
which will be made to the Republican
party in Georgia in the near future"
should put that party on its guard againBt
such a misfortune. The Uriah Heep of
Southern Democracy will be recognized, if
he changes, as making the change because
there is the most usufruct for him that way.
NOTWiTHSTAifDiKO the Supreme Court
decision, it appears that the bill for the
charters of third-class cities got past the
House yesterday. If Allegheny does not
do some work it may still find itself in a
split stick.
The last turn in the Supreme Court de
cisions for the charter question, gives new
force to the local adoption of Tom Mar
shall's famous saying not our Tom Mar
shall, but the Kentuckian that if there is
one thing that Omniscience cannot foretell,
it is how the Pennsylvania supreme uourt
will decide a case.
If Arkansas fails to capture and hang the
murderer of Colonel Clayton it will be a
good State for people who do not like assas
sination as a political method to keep clear
of.
There is beginning to be a doubt as to
whether Florida considers it worth while to
send in any electoral vote for the Presi
dency. Possibly this is a correct estimate
of the value of a Florida election; but we
could not expect it to come from Florida
itself.
If Allison will not represent Iowa in the
Cabinet, that is no reason why Iowa should
be left out. Is not Frank Hattou .always
on hand?
The appearance of an editorial argument
in favor of "The "Wisdom of Cowardice," in
the Minneapolis Tribune of a late date, is
the first indication that the readers of that
jonrnal have had, of its supporting the
forcign,policy of the present administration.
PERSONAL POINTS.
There is sadness in tho realms of royalty.
The Crown Prince of Austria, the King of An
nam and the Sultan of Vitu have passed away
within the last few days. There is no royal
road to longevity.
A new smoking room has been provided for
members at the English House of Commons.
Tho devotion to the weed among honorable
gentlemen is now so great that the one smok
ing room had become insufficient.
Lord Sackvixle, tho damaged diplomat, is
devoting his attention at present to his man
sion "Knole." He has thrown the old and
beautiful place open to the public, a thing
which the late lord and master refused to do.
A "WEEK from yesterday Queen Victoria
celebrates the forty-ninth anniversary of her
wedding. Tho ceremony will be, as usual, a
mournful one. as anything which recalls Prince
Albert always casts a gloom over the Queen's
household.
Mrs. Mart E. G. Dow, tho woman who took
the Dover horse railroad in hand and mado it a
paying concern, has just declared a 6 per cent
dividend. This, added to that of six months
ago, makes 11 per cent and leaves a surplus be
side Sirs. Dow is the President, and when sho
was chosen the road was in debt.
Mr. Saejeant, tho English artist, is paint
ing tho portrait of Miss Ellen Terry as Lady
Macbeth. Tho actress wears her peacock green
velvet dress shimmering with beetle wings,that
in which she appears during the first act. A su
perb contrast of color Is attained by the red
hair flowing over tho greenish drapery.
Mr. Gladstone goes to the English Church
at Naples every Sunday morning. A cor
respondent writes that, sitting exactly behind
the G. O. M, he managed to secure a single
gray hair which fell on the collar of his over
coat. But an Italian deputy of high position,
who was shown tho trophy, got that tremend
ously excited and says the correspondent
seized my hair (the gray one),threw me a 5-franc
piece and bolted.
The Emperor of Germany is cutting down
his household expenses. He has given orders
that the daily breakfast shall cost but 62 cents
for each person, and that dinner shall not re
quire more than $1 25 a head. The servants of
the household are now obliged to purchase
their own meals. All this has excited a great
deal of unfavorable comment, for the house of
Holienzollern is by no means so poor that its
expenditure need be placed on a mean basis.
A TALE OF TWO CITIES.
A Handsomely Illustrated Boolc,DcscrIptivc
of Pittsburg and Allegheny.
A beautifully illustrated and handsomely
bound quarto volume entitled "Pittsburg and
Allegheny Illustrated Review," has just been
published by J. M. Eistner&Co. Tho work con
tains 120 large pages, and includes interesting
historical sketches from tho pen of many well
known local writers. The manifold industries
of the two cities are reviewed at length, and
many valuable statistics are given. Tho illus
trations are numerous, and finely executed.
They include views taken in various parts of tho
city, sketches of public buildings and manufac
tories and portraits of several representative
citizens.
Considerable space is devoted to biographical
matter and brief histories of various business
enterprises. The work, as a whole, is excellent,
so far as it goes, and deserves to take high rank
among publications of its class.
The Sphinx ns an Umpire.
From the New York World, j
Every man who has a touch of romance in his
constitution has been thrilled by the news that
the peripatetic baseball players from this coun
try are to play a game under the shadows of the
Egyptian Pyramids, and within a short distance
of the great Sphinx. Would it not be a curious
thing if the Sphinx, after maintaining silence
for ages, should raise her voice at the cry of tho
onlookers for "Judgment" and exclaim "Not
out!"' Even the Sphinx would find umpiring a
dangerous pastime.
THE TOPICAL TALKER.
New Studies of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
Down With the Weather Sinn Posts
Modesty ltlocks a Golden Stream Art In
Fair Ilnnds.
Robeet Louis Stevenson, wero he to stop
running around barefoot with savages and
trying to soothe the barbaric breast with music
from his flageolet, and were he to pay ten cents
for a scat in Harris' Theater and sit thronch
one act of Dore Davidson's strictly original
dramatic version of "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde."
I am convinced that his sensations would be
unique and surprising.
The author would certainly find it difficult to
.recognize the children of his brain, and it is
doubtful if he would appreciate the evasion of
the awful climatic moral of his story in tho
pretty ending to which Mr. Davidson has
shaped the drama.
V
Mansfield's version of Stcvonson's novel,
which was seen here last season, was a morbid,
distressing play, with episodes' in it so disgust
ing and hideous that Fittsburgers generally
did not care to see It And it is in my memory
that Richard Mansfield and his manager, Mr.
Price, were very disturbed in spirit over the
excellent taste and judgment which our people
showed in this matter. .Nevertheless thero was
abundant art in Mr. Mansfield's adaptation of
the story for the stago, and still more in por
tions of his delineation of tho dual character
of Jekyll and Hyde. The drama and the actor
were on a higher piano than Mr. Davidson is
able to set himself and his play.
.
In a singio particular I fancy Mr. Davidson
has a great deal the best of Mr. Mansfield. Tho
former's methods in accomplishing the change
from tho gentle Dr. Jekyllto the horriblo mon
ster Hyde seem to bo better considered than
those of Sir. Mansfield. Besides, thero was a
grotesquesness in Mansfield's Hyde which
brought the spectator dangerously near to
laughter. Davidson's Hyde is revolting, dia
bolical and uncanny uncanny most of all. It
is tho sort of sight which makes one's flesh
creep. Not a laughing matter at all.
Mr. Davidson seems to use very littlo but his
natural powers of contorting bis features and
limbs to produce tho appcaranco of outrageous
deformity. One would like to know how bo
makes tho extraordinary change in tho contour
of his teeth in less than fire seconds. The jut
ting fangs of Hyde aro not at all suggested in
tho regular teeth of Dr. Jekyll
...
All the old-established weather signposts
must be chopped down. They are deceiving
people, and hurting their trustinc natures, and
spoiling bonnets and tempers, and thero Is no
health in them.
For instance, tho old rhymo which the shep
herds on Salisbury plain seven or eight hun
dred years ago used to gamble upon with the
utmost confidence, viz:
"A red sky at night
Is a shepherd's delight,"
came to everybody's mind on Monday evening
when the sun went down in a bed of crimson .
glory and the rosy tiers of clouds were left out
in the west till long after sunset. Everybody
said: "To-morrow will be falrl'i
And yesterday was that to-morrow.
"Was It fair?
Pull down tho weather signs and kill all tho
weather prophets, ana perhaps Nature will re
gain her balance!
V
Some of the most admired pictures hanging
in the School of Design gallery are the work
of a young woman who is really troubled with
a superabundance of modesty. Two or threo
of these pictures possess such marked merit
merit of a higher kind than tho expensive im
ported canvases absolutely painted in Europe
usually possess that would easily command a
sale.
Yesterday, for Instance, a purchaser for one
or two of them was found, but the salo could
not be made becauso the fair painter had been
too modest to put a price upon her work. If
the exhibition Is not at all for tho purpose of
selling the students' pictures which most peo
ple take to be a most laudable purpose would
it not be a good idea to tell the public so?
Then nobody's feelings could possibly be hurt
by the tender of filthy lucre in exchange for
the products of divine art
V
There is a shining white spot In the portrait
of a colored boy which hangs in the gallery of
studies from life in charcoal The spot occurs
with startling effect in the upper part of the
boy's cheek, and some of the School of Design
girls how unfortunato it would be to term
them designing girls have suggested to the
artist that the picture would be a splendid ad
vertisement for a patent article, with the Sub
scription: "SoapineDidlt."
STREET RAILWAY FIGURES.
Profit and Loss Accounts of Pittsburg Roads
for the Past Year.
Eneclal Telejrram to The Dispatch.
HAXtiusisuitG, February 5. There was filed
to-day with the Secretary of Internal Affairs
the aunuai statement of a number of Pitts
burg street railway companies for the year
1SS8. The Federal Street and..,FIeasant Valley
road reported 2,112,101 passengers carried dur
ing the year; the expenses Of operating tho
road wero 71,813 09, and the receipts at $96,
402 10. The dividends declared amounted to
J1S.000. Tho liabilities of tho company aro
given as follows: Capital stock, $100,000; bonds,
73,000; unclaimed dividends, $105 78; coupon
account, 216 52; right ot way, 37,429 51; sur
plus, 37,455 93; total, 250,537 7i
The Pittsburg Traction Company reports the
following lor 18SS: Number of passengers car
ried, 2.S00,bS9; expense or operating the road,
$33,361 97; receipts, $173,536 97. Tho payments
were: For construction, $813,614 03; equipment,
$01,522 85; interest, $18,495 5. Tho statement of
the road's liabilities is as follows: Capital
stock, less $1,000,000 installments unpaid, 81,500,
000: first mortgage bonds, $500,000; Pittsburg,
Oakland and East Liberty bonds assumed, 15,
000; constructive debt, $457,662 09; dividends de
clared, but not yet paid, $100,000; surplus, $15,
D06 90. Total, S2,5S8,569 50.
The People's Park Railway reports as fol
lows: Number of "passengers carried, 833,130,
running expenses. $44,583 97: receipts, $37,716.
It liabilities are: Capital stock, $100,000; bonds,
$100,000; due corporations, SoOll 03; total,
KM9.011 65.
The St. Clair Inclino Company in its state
ment shows the number of passengers carried
during 1868, 125,026; running expenses, 7,080 75;
receipts, $8,4C0 97. Its assets are given at
$901 75; cash on hand and liabilities as nothing
but an unadjusted construction account. The
total unfunded debt of the concern is $07,000.
JUSTICE FOE P00E L0.
The Creek Indian Treaty Sent to Congress
for its Ratification.
Washington, February 5. Tho President
to-day transmitted to Congress,for it3 approval
and ratification, a provisional agreement lately
entered into between the United States and the
Creek Indians, by which the title and interest
in and to all lands in the Indian territory or
elsewhere, except such as are held and occu
pied as homes, arc ceded to the United States.
By the terms of tho agreement the Creek Na
tion cedes to the United States the title of the
.entire western half of tho domain of tho na
tion, lying west or tho division line as estab
lished by the treaty In 1668. The United States
agrees to pay to tho Indians $2,2S0,S57, $280,857
to be paid to the National Treasurer of the
Nation and $2,000,000 to remain in the United
States Treasury to the credit of the Nation,
and bear interest at the rate of 5 per cent. The
Nation agrees to devote not less than $50,000
annually for educational purposes.
Tho President say3 that tho ratification of
the agreement will be of benefit to the Gov
ernment. The agreement, he says, is entirely
free from any suspicion of unfairness or injus
tice toward the Indians.
PRAISE FEOM THE POPE.
His Holiness Preparing; n Brief Eulogizing
America nud Her People.
Washington, February 5. Rt. Rev. John
J. Keane. rector of the new Catholic Univer
sity, in a letter to Vice Rector Ganigan, dated
Rome, January 22, announces the endowment
of another chair in the University by Judge
O'Connor, of San Jose, Cal.
Bishop Keane also states that the endow
ment of three moro scholarships has been
secured, and that the Pope is preparing a brief
in furtherance of tho plans of tho University
and in praise of America, her people and her
Institutions.
THE DIPHTHERIA MICROBE.
Pasteur's Professors Make n Discovery
That Will Benefit Humanity.
Paeis, Febnary 6. The Figaro says that two
professors connected with the Pasteur Insti
tute have succeeded in identifying the gener
ative microbe of diplitherix The discovery of
a preventative of this disease by means of vac
cine virus is expected to follow.
THE NKW REVENUE BILL
Advocated and Explained by tho Aaditor
General What Slay bo Galaed by It.
FBOlt A STAFF COBBESPONDENT.J
Habrisbukq, February a Auditor General
McCamant appeared before tho Ways and
Means Committee to-day in advocacy of the
general revenue bilL Mr. McCamant explained
that since 1887 the State had lost 700,000 reve
nue by reason of the Supreme Court's gross re
ceipt "decision, and had also lost '5300,000 by
the operation of the high license law. The
Stato would also have lost lartrcly by tho Dau
phin court's decision on the loans tax bad not
tho Supreme Court reversed that decision. He
explained that the bill as presented retained
the existing lawj concernmgthe personal prop
erty tax that had stood the test of tho courts,
and also retains many of .the features of the
bill that was lost by reason of not having the
signature of the President of the Senate, and
also many of the features of the Revenue Com
missioner's bill.
Its main distinctive features are: Firsts a tax
on mortgages and judgments of corporations,
except such as go to make up their capital
stock, which is taxed separately; second, a tax
on tho capital stock of all corporations except
building and loan associations, while its third
important feature restricts the 6 mill tax on
banks and savings institutions to banks incor
porated under the laws of the Sta'.e and to
national banks. The other features of the bill
are much tho samo as former revenue meas
ures. The abandonment of the two-fold meas
uro of taxing corporations, namely, 1 mill on
each per centum, where a dividoad of 6 per
cent was declared, and where the dividend was
less than 6 per cent or was nothing, a tax of 3
mills on tho dollar of appraised value, was ex
plained to be mado necessary by a pcssiblo
unconstitutionality and threats of corporations
to appeal. Tho uniform 3 mill tar would pro
duce greater revenue, ho thought than the
two-fold plan of taxation.
He defended the tax on manufacturing cor-
porations, becauso it was necessary to make
good lost revenue and becauso so many con
cerns were claiming exemption as snch that
another big holo might soon be knocked In tho
State's receipts. A Philadelphia fruit preserv
ing company has been declared by the courts a
manufacturing corporation, and in the Dauphin
county courts a host of electric light companies
arepleadiug to be declared such. The definition
was becoming entirely too broad, and besides
there was good ground for believing the ex
emption of these corDorations was unconstitu
tional. Headmitteu that the same objection
might apply to the exemption the bill makes in
favor of building and loan associations, but
their peculiar character led to tho attempt to
make this exception.
Auditor General McCamant roughly esti
mates the gain to tho State under the provisions
of the bill as follows: From manufacturing
corporations, .500,000; from the restriction of the
six-mill tax to incorporated State and national
banks, $150,000; from corporation mortgages
and judgments, J30O,0OOj In answer to ques
tions, ho stated that from a hasty reading of
the County Commissioners' bill, bo did not
think it could be operated. There were gravo
constitutional questions railed by it that would
be fought to the court of last resort and the
revenues would in consequence be tied up for
years,.putting the Stato to the necessity of bor
rowing money to conduct its government The
grangers' bill for tho equalization of local tax
ation did not he thought conflict with the
general revenue bill.
Auditor General McCamant was before tho
committee for three hours, explaining these
points and the machinery of the bill. He will
be called on again, as will the State Treasurer
and Attorney General.
THE BUELINGTOS IN LINE.
Iowa Commissioners Win Their Fight and
tho Rates Will Drop To-Day.
Chicago, February 5. Tho first of tho
Chicago roads to take its Iowa medicine in ac
cordance with the prescription received from
Judge Brewer Is the Chicago, Burlington and
Quincy. Genoral Freight Agent Morton gave
notice to-day that his company would put into
effect to-morrow the Commissioners' schedule
of rates in the State of Iowa. This prompt ac
tion took some of the other road3 by surprise,
as it was supposed that there would be a
meeting of tho Iowa lines to con
sider Judge Brewer's decision, with
a view to agreeing upon a course of
procedure and acting in concert. The Burling
ton, however, concluded to waste no timo in
putting itself in harmony with the law. By so
doing it avoids the danger of damage suits
that may be brought by shippers for every
overcharge on freight transportation within
that State, and gains whatever advantage may
accrue to it from being the first to reduce its
rates. The only other road that adopts tho
Commissioner's schedulo to-morrow is the
Burlington, Cedar Rapids and Northern. Tho
rest will probably follow suit as soon as they
have had time to revise their scales.
The position of the Chicago and Northwest
ern and a few of the other interested roads is
somewhat peculiar. The injunction restrain
ing the Commissioners from enforcing the first
schedule of rates prepared by them has not
been dissolved and Is still in force. Tniro was
a second schedule arranged for the Burlington,
the Bck Island and tho St. Paul roads, iu
which some of the rates were slightly advanced
and made subject to the Western classification
with a few exceptions. The Chicago and
Northwestern was not concerned in tho case
out of which this new schedule grew, and the
injunction that has just been vacated has ref
erence to this schedule alone. But alone of
course thi3 point has no particular weight, as
when one road reduces its rates the rest must
do likewise or sacrifice their business.
A P0ETUNE FOE UNCLE SAM.
An Eccentric Schoolmaster Leaves Consid
erable Wealth to the Government.
Special Telegram to The Dispatch.
New York, February 5. Surrogate Tuthill
has Issued a citation for the probato of the will
of M.W. Mcrriam, tho eccentric Suffolk county
schoolmaster who willed his property in bulk
to the United States Government. Tho execu
tor, C. B. Ackerly, in searching for the assets,
fonnd $81,000 InMerriam's room in Newport.
It was tucked away in old letters, books and
corners of old trunks and valises. It is thought
that when his money is all got together it will
amount to more tnan $100,000. He has a sister
who is said to be worth $500,000. One reason
he gave for giving his money to the Govern
ment was that it was rich and could afford to
fight bis sister if she attempted to contest tho
will. His sister, it is said, will not contest the
will, as there are some unpleasant family
affairs which would necessarily como to light
in the controversy.
Mr. Merriam teas a zcalons Blaine man. Ho
refused to vote the Republican ticket last fall
because his favorite wasn't at the head of it.
AVhen the success of tho Republican party bc
camo known he at once named Blaine as bis
choice for Secretary of State. He said if Blaine
were not appointed he would change his will
and cut off tho Government. He fell dead in
his schoolroom at Springs last week. Ho was
63 years old.
The Forgotten Soldier.
From the Chicago News. 3
One of the most striking pictures in tho Ver
estchagin collection at the Art Instituto Is
"The Forgotten Soldier." It represents a bit
of rough country, some sky, and a watchful
vulture. "But where is the soldier?" asked a
visitor tho other day. "I can't see how the
name of this picture can be made to fit it."
"Why, the name is appropriate, of course,"
said tho man who knew all abont art. "Tho
picturo Is called 'The Forgotten Soldier' be
cause the artist forgot to put the soldier in."
Tho Indication of Riches.
From the New York World.!
A good deal of discussion has been caused by
Max O'Rell's ex cathedra assertions regarding
the richest men in this country. It is claimed
that he made great blunders in his list. The
truth of tho matter will be learned next sum
mer, when the public finds out what families
are indulging in ice.
Oat of Their Element.
From the Chicago News.J
Two astronomers have gono to law in New
York to decide who owns a certain cataloguo of
35,603 stars. Law suits about stars are very
comnon, but they are generally engaged In by
theatrical managers. What do astronomers
know about stars, anyhow?
NOTES OP THE STAGE,
Dore Davidson's weird "Dr. Jekyll and
Mr. Hyde" is filling Harris' Theater to the last
bit of standing room, at each performance this
week. It is a performance as unique as it is
original,' and worthy of witnessing.
Minnie Palmer will be seen as "My Broth
er's sister," this evening, and at the only Pal
mer matineo on Saturday. The Bijou at each
ot little Minnie's receptions this week has been
completely filled. Tho rule is not apt to be
broken during the engagement.
Miss Cora Tanner, who will appear at tho
Grand Opera House next week in "Fascina
tion," is an attraction in herself, but her com
pany is also well spoken of, and the scenery is
called beautiful and elaborato by all who bavo
seen it. The play is English, and the plot is
called one of Robert Buchanan's best, which is
saying something in itself.
GREAT FEELING AROUSED.
Tho Charges of tho Claytons Read With
Interest at tho Capital.
Special Telegram to The Dispatch.
Washington, February 5. The statement
of Powell Clayton and Judge Clayton, in re
gard to the assassination of their brother, which
appeared in all the prominent papers ot the
country this morning, has caused a deal of
feeling among the Republicans, and few of the
Democrats mako any attempt to soften tho
severity of the criticism that is heard on every
hand. Republicans are all of one opinion, that
Congress should sift the matter to the bottom,
and that at a riskof a renewal of the accusation
of flaunting tho bloody shirt some steps should
bo taken by Congress and tho admin
istration to, prevont the desecration of
tho ballot box in the South and the
reduction of elections to the condition of a
ridicnlous farce. The indications are that In
vlowof tho recent tragic occurrence in Arkan
sas the next administration will not be able to
pursue thwMoiilorvative course with regard
to the SoSWi'iliad been advised hitherto,
and wbichMjj, Harrison has shown a disposi
tion to adopt.
s
No Attempt nt Denial.
None of tho prominent Southern Democrats
attempt to deny that tho statement
of the Claytons 13 true. Of course
only a few are acquainted with the facts in
this particular case. Bnt those who aro not
say that it is apiece with what is commonly
known to be the tactics of tho Democrats ot
the South, and that they are ready to believe
overy word of it. This was the admission of
at least a dozen of prominent Sonthcrn Demo
crats to the correspondent of TnE Dispatch
to-day,, though they, without exception, ex
acted promise that their names should riot
be usud in connection with the publication of
their sentiments, as that would be very dis
astrous to them in their own communities.
Only a few of the "hustlers," such as those
which are described by the Claytons as taking
charge of thepollsanddrivingaway Republican
inspectors, attempted to make light of tho
story, and only one denounced it as "a pack of
lies,'' and he was the least respectable and
prominent of the lot.
Sir. Breckinridge Regrets it Much.
Representative Breckinridge, of Arkansas
who was the opponent of tho murdered Clay
ton in tho race for Congress, and against whom
Clayton had filed notice of a contest, would not
speak farther on tho subject than he has al
ready spoken, and that was to say that he re
gretted the occurrence more, if possible, than
the Claytons themselves, as it pfaced him in a
most unenviable position. He denounced the
outrage, and said all of the papers and all citi
zens of any standing denounced it, but when
asked why more vigorous steps were not taken
to apprehend the assassins, no said ho was too
far .lrom the scene of action to know what was
being done.
An Anonymons Colleague's Opinion.
A colleague of Mr. Brcckmridgo said that
theassas3in3 were prominent men, and Mr.
Breckinridge was aware of that fact, though
he might not be able to place his finger exactly
on tho persons who did the murder. "The only
honorable course for Mr. Breckinridge to pur
sue," said he, "is to resign the seat which be
claims in tho Fifty-first Congress, and submit
to a new election, in which ho will be responsi
ble for its fairness and honesty. He certainly
cannot claim to represent his people when his
election was accomplished by methods such as
those described by the Claytons. These things
are not general in the South, but they are com
mon enough to disgrace the entire section, and
wo cannot expect to have tho confidence or re
spect of tho North as long as they are per
mitted anywhere. Respectable Democrats, in
stead of covering up these things anil making
light of them, must admit them and look them
in tho face and attempt to uproot them, or we
cannot hope for the investment of Northern
capital, without which our progress will bo
very slow indeed. It is possible that after all
tte murder of Clayton may work a vast good
to the South," in arousing Democrats them
selves to throttle these outrages on the
ballot."
A PREACHER'S POLITICAL PRAYER,
It Creates Quito a Disturbance la tho New
York Senate.
Albany, February 5. Rev. S.V. Leech, of
Albtny, opened the session of the Senate thi3
morning with a prayer. He referrea to the
corruption which so greatly influences elec
tion? in great cities, and prayed for deliverance
from "the political gamblers who buy up the
votet of the ignorant immigrants who compose
such a large proportion of tho population of
cities."
At the conclusion of the prayer Mr. Grady
arosj. "I move," be said. "that the officer hav
ing charge of the selection of the clergymen to
oiler opening prayers in this body be instruct
ed hereafter to give no invitation to do so to
tho jerson who has just assailed the throne of
mercy with the very peculiar petition. It is an
outrigo that prayer should be made a cover
for assailing political majorities in our cities as
ignorant immigrants steeped in supers! tion."
"Perhaps the prayer was meant for the Sena
tor from the Sixth (Grady)," interrupted Er
win. "No, it was not," answered Grady.
"But I think it was," replied Erwin.
The insult is worse," said Mr. Murphy, "be
causo It comes from a clap-trap politician who
has been the perennial candidate for Chaplain
of the Senate."
"But what is tho matter with the prayer 1 "
persisted Mr. Erwin. "I think wo should pray
continually to be delivered from fraud and
corruption."
The -Lieutenant Governor at this point ruled
the entiro matter out of order.
TnE CIVIL SEEVICE AS IT 18.
Some Senators Look Upon tho System as a
Broad Farce.
Washington, February5. The House bill
for the establishment of a Territorial Govern
ment in Oklahoma having been presented in
the Senate to-day, Mr. Flatt moved its refer
ence to the Committee on Territories, and Mr.
Dawes moved its reference to the Committeo
on Indian Affairs. A long and at times acri
monious debate ensued, which ended in the
bill being referred to the Committee on Terri
tories, by a vote of 39 to 12. An attack on tho
Civil Service Commission followed when the
appropriation bills were taken up. during
which Mr. Plnmb referred to tho recent exten
sion of civil service rules to postal employes as
an attempt to embarrass the Incoming admin
istration, and said that Mr. Hawley's amend
ment was a contribution to that attempt. Mr.
Gorman reminded Mr. Plumb that Mr.
Arthur's administration had within 20 days of
leaving office extended the civil service rules
to the Agricultural Department. Mr. Plumb
contended that "partisanship of tho most des
perate character" had been practiced in the
administration of the civil servico law. Mr.
Stewart said he was absolutely and unquali
fiedly opposed to the present system, which ho
characterized as a "brsad farce."
In the House to-day tho Nicaraguan Canal
bill occupied the entire time. The debate was
lengthy, but developed nothing of Interest.
The evening session was devoted to the consid
eration of District business.
There Aro Words Enough.
From tho Louisville Courier-Journal. 1
The great increase of words in tho English
languago Is quite an unnecessary growth, at
least for family use. The most uneducated of
wives is never at a loss for words in her conver
sations with her husband, no matter how much
she has to say. Tne dictionary business is un
doubtedly overdone.
Indinnnpolls In a Bnd Wny.
From the Chicago News.J
If a few more citizens of Indianapolis rcmovo
to Washington and Montreal during the next
few months the town will have to be shut down
for lack of hands to run it.
A Comforting Thought.
From the Cnlcaeo News.:
The act of dying fs said to be absolutely pain
less. The present administration at Washing
ton should be greatly comforted by this assur
ance. THAT'S WHY.
Why do I sit to-day with visage solemn
And fix across the street my gloomy gaze?
Spring's coming fast and winter's spinal column
Will soon be fractured, everybody says.
The birds will shortly throng the forest arches
'.Neath smlllne skies and warmly (flowing sun,
The opening buds appear upon the larches
And coal be half-a-dollsr less a ton.
Why should my heart with bitterness be swelling
When winter Is approachlnc his decease,
And strawberries wlll,pretty soon be selling
Way down as low as sixty cents a piece?
Why should a rising anger stir my pulsei,
ily thoughts be all revengeful, unforgiving,
Why should I think, while wrath my frame con
vulses. This lire of ours Is hardly worth the living?
Why am 1 feeling In the mood for flchtlng,
Impatient, eager, longing for a fray?
Because a fiendish peddler while I'm writing
Is shouting "Chestnuts!" Jnst across the wiy.
Botton Courier.
MATTEES IS THE METROPOLIS.
One of Those Squabbles That Pays.
tNiw tobx bchead- sfxciaes.j
New Yoke-, February 5. Managers Frank
Sanger and T. Henry French, of the Broadway
Theater, will appeal to the courts to determine
the proprietorship of the American rights to
"Little Lord Fauntleroy." Mr. French thinks
the play belongs to him because he bought it in
London. Mr. Sanger claims half of It because
ho and Mr. French previously agreed to pur
chase plays for tho Broadway Theater only as
equal partners. A long squabble between the
managers began as soon as Mr. French tried to
assume the rights of sole ownership. The affair
was referred for arbitration to Mr. French's
father, who only complicated matters by de
claring that bo alono owned "Little Lord
Fauntleroy," and that Mr. Sanger and Mr
French, Jr., had nothing to do with the play at
all. So there's going to bo a lawsuit. It is said
that when Mrs. Burnett sold her play to T.
Henry French sho thought he was acting as
agont for A. M. Palmer, and agreed to give him
1 per cent for collecting her royalties. It sub
sequently turned out that French bought It for
himself. Mrs. Burnett is a little annoyed at
being compelled to pay him a commission for
collecting her royalty from himself.
Rich, but Chnraed With Swindling.
The Court of Oyer and Terminerwas crowded
this morning with men and women eager to
witness tho opening proceedings in the trial of
wealthy Dr. and Mrs.Roynolds for swindling
insurance companies. The case has been up in
court a dozen times in the last two years. In
February, 1887, Dr. Reynold's elegant summer
residence in Flushing was burned. The total
loss, as stated by Dr. Reynolds and his wife,
was $44,000, which the insurance companies
paid. Later the London Assurance Company's
agent found in the city residence of Dr.
Reynolds several pieces of valuable bric-a-brac
which the doctor swore had been lost in the
fire. After an investigation tho Reynolds were
arrested.. Dr. Reynolds is worth $300,000.
Deserted by n Drnnken Bride.
Seven days ago Frank L. Burnham, 25 years
old, was a happy bridegroom; four days later
ho was a distracted husband; to-day he Is a
grass widower. On Saturday, the third day of
tho honeymoon, Mrs. Burnham went to a wine
supper with an old friend, Eddie Rotbberry.
Young Burnham met them at the door when
they returned.' His wife's breath was liquor
laden, and he angrily smashed friend Eddie in
the nose. He was preparing to hit some more,
when a policeman interfered. Mrs. Burnham
got drunk on Sunday and Monday nights, to get
even with Mr. Burnham for maltreating her old
friend. To-day she packed up her trousseau
and left him.
In Search of a Mother.
Torrence Farley, a stamping fellow of about
27, ha,s come here from his home in Armour.
Pa., to find his mother. Twenty years ago he
was found sleeping on a doorstep, late at night,
by a policeman. Hi3 parents could not be
found and ho was turned over to a charitable
society, which sent him West, as soon as be
was old enough to work. He Is a small farmer
of considerable education. Two detectives are
helping him in his search for his mother.
A Detective Worthy His Hire.
Horatio Nelson Harvey, detective, deputy
sheriff and carpenter, tried for 11 days to col
lect proofs of improper conduct on the part of
tho Rev. John Owenbache, an Episcopalian
clergyman. He was employed by tho Rev.
David Brainard Ray, rector of Graco church.
Harvey did not get the desired evidence, and
the Rev. Ray refused to pay him the $127 he de
sired for his sorvices. The Rev. Ray was di
rected by a city court to pay the money.
Tho Smiths Lived Off Mrs. Stewart.
In tho Stewart will case to-day, Judge Bmith,
Mrs. Stewart's nephew by marriage, told Elihu
Root about the Smith family's big slice of
Alexander T. Stewart's fortune. He said Mrs.
Stewart gave his wife a house and lot on Fifth
avenue. The house cost 110,000. Mrs. Stewart
allowed Mrs. Smith $10,000 a year to run tho
house. She also gave Mrs. Smith a carriage
and a pair of horses, and paid for furniture
for the house, beside making her other pres
ents. Mrs. Stewartbeqneathed $250,000 to Mrs.
Smith by will, and a one-third interest in the
residum of the estate Mrs. Stewart gave Mrs.
Prescott Hall Butler, a daughter of Jndge
Smitb, a house and lot on Fifth avenue, $10,000
for furniture and an allowance of 10,000 a
year. Two of Judge Smith's sons received
gifts of $50,000 each, and one or them another
$50,000 at her death; another son received a
check for $10,000 when he went to Europe.
Other children of Judge Smith were similarly
provided for. Some of them also received be
quests by will from Mrs. Stewart of $100,000
each. Mrs. Stewart also paid for the trousseau
of one of his daughters, besido making pres
ents of largo sums of money to them.
Jack tho Ripper Lives Yet.
Mayor Grant received a letter signed "Jack
tho Ripper," this morning. The writer says
that he has not killed anyone for a month, and
warns tho Mayor that he may expect to hear of
a murder somewhere along the water front in
a day or so.
BOLD GENERAL G0FF.
Ho Will be Sworn In ns Governor no flfnt
ter What Happens.
Special Telecram to the DIsnatch.
Charleston, W. Va., February 5. The
time to-day was occupied in a discussion of
Delegate Spriggs' motion that the returns for
Governor be opened, but should not bo read
which was finally defeated by a vote of 48 to
40, President Carr and three Democrats
voting with the Republicans. When the vote
of Clay county was opened, Spriggs made a
motion that they should not be read. Thi3
was lost by a tie vote.
General Goff has provided himself with
sworn duplicates of the certificates of the vote
in every county in the State, and, it is under
stood, will qualify on March 4, notwithstand
ing all efforts to prevent it. It Is an'lmpossi
bility for the contest to be settled by the Legis
lature unless a special session Is called, as tho
constitutional limit for the session will expire
in 17 days, and it cannot be extended except by
a two-thirds vote. General Golf left for
Washington this morning.
Two moro ballots were taken for United
States Senator, resulting in a slight loss for
Kenna. Tho situation has not materially
ciiangou, nowever, ana ine enu is as iar in tne
future a3 ever.
Tho Groom Was From Plttsburff.
Special Telecram to the Dispatch.
Johnstown, February 5. There was a de
lightful though entirely unostentatious little
wedding at 105 Vine street this evening, with
Miss Nellie E. Davis, a very charming yonng
lady of this city, as the bride, and Mr. John J.
Woods, of Pittsburg, as groom. The worthy
couple were rerepients of many warm con
gratulations. They left immediately after tho
ceremony for a trip to Eastern cities.
VALUABLE HOUSEHOLD HINTS.
Do not overwork your servants. Give them
a day off every nine or ten months.
Be kind to the cat Remember that cats die
moro frequently from care than from harsh
treatment.
Do not leave your coal hole open after dark
unless there is some particular individual you
want to catch. '
Don't talk politics with your wife. She will
know nothing about politics, but she will get
the best of you just the same, and that will be
humiliating.
It is useless to try to cnltivato orchids in the
back yard of a city house. Morning glories are
the only flowers that seem to stand the climate
and cats of a city back yard.
If you have a china plate do not tnrow it
away, but store it in the attic It may prove
valuable to your grandchildren who collect old
china some day in the coming century.
If you have a dog that chews tho tassels on
your parlor chairs don't give him toyourneigh
bor. Keep him. He has probably learned
what you have not, that tasscb) are no longer
fashionable.
If you suspect the iceman of stealing your
wine put a champagne bottle full of vitriol on
the ice. It thero is a sudden death in your ice
man's family yon may know that your sus
picions wero well founded.
WnEN you go away from your house and
leave It empty it will be just as well if you take
your plumbing and sanitary arrangements with
you or place them In a fafo deposit vault. Pipe
thieves are very numerous in large cities.
Burg la R3 are dancerous when cornered, so
that while your front door should always be
securely fastened to keep them from getting
In, the back door should be left ajar so that
they can get out without diificnlty.
New Tork Evening Sun.
CDEI0US CONDENSATIONS.
Major "Willis, of Charleston, has made
a collection of the teeth of 240 different species
of the shark family.
Benjamin Franklin's watch is owned
by a Lancaster (Pa.) gentleman, who still car
ries it and says that it keeps good time. It is
of silver, shapedllkeabiscuit. and has engraved
on its back: "Ben Franklin, 1776. Philadelphia."
A Poughkeepsie man, whois suing for
a divorce stated, among other reasons for
wishing to be rid of his wife, that she was too
stylish. She used three clean towels tn one
week In the house, while he, before marriage,
could get along three weeks with only one.
Albert Nuchols, a negro who died at
Davenport, Iowa, a few days ago, was noted
for his wonderful knowledge of biblical lore.
He know a great portion of "the Bible by
heart. From nts rnnrfprm manners and polite
f demeanor he was lone ago given the sobriquet
Of "Prlnrn Alho-f "
Stoddard county.Mo,, has a boy preacher
only 8 years of age. He never went to school a
day In his life and can neither read nor write.
it is saia mat bis sermons are very able, ne is
wuiiu fcasoner anu ueep tninxor. anu
CSFe
he
reaches like a veteran. He quotes from the
ible from memory.
A young woman in Rushville. I1L.
laid her lump of chewing gum on her pillow
the other night and went to sleep. When she
awoke In the morning the gam was hard and
fast in one of her ears, and she suffered griev
ously for several days before the obstruction
was removed.
A 9-year-old "Weymouth boy had his
trousers repaired one day last week and a big
plug of chewing tobacco fell out of one rocket.
Ho was called to account for it and said ho
would endeavor to quit chewing, but that he
had followed the habit so long that he didn't
want to stop too suddenly.
A Buffalo girl got rid of an undesirable
suitor In a unique way. He proposed on the
way home from church Sunday evening, and
the fair creature, who Is "o'er young to
marry." said "yes," but added sho would
not marry him until he gained the
consent of her father. The young man
discovered the next day that the young
lady's father died several years ago, and the
disappointed lover has emigrated to Black
Americus and Sumter county can boast
of the oldest horses and mules of any city or
county in tho State of Georgia. There aro
seven horses whose ages will aggregate 200y ears,
and six mnles whoso ages will aggregate tha
same. Some of them are remarkably young
looking and get about in as lively manner as if
they were only 5 years old. One of the
horses included in this estimate was offered for
sale at auction recently that 13 known to be 30
years old.
Just how the regular feast days named
In the calendar move in the days when they
occur, from year to year, is curious as well as
Interesting to note. Last year Shrove Tuesday
occurred on the lith of Februarv: this year it
comes on the 5tb of March. This year Ash
Wednesday, or Lent, occurs on the 6th of
March; last year on the Lith of February.
Palm Sunday last year was March 2"; this year
April 14. Easter this year April 21: last year
April L Whii Sunday last year was May 20;
this year it will come Jnno 9.
One of the most absent-minded men in
Detroit Is a popular clergyman. He was at one
time riding in a streetcar with his wife, when
ho became interested in a conversation carried
on by two gentlemen opposite. That side of
the car was packed full of male passengers.
Wishing to join in the conversation the rever
end gentleman crossed to the speakers and,
sitting down deliberately in the lap of a man
who bad not time to move, began an animated
discussion. The unfortunate and nearly
crushed passenger edged himself out gradually,
without being noticed, and stood up the rest
of tho way. At anotner time, and that very
recently, the same clergyman was reciting the
burial service at a funeral. His eyes were
closed, although be had the open prayer book,
in his hand, arid the people assemble! were
astonished to hear him say, "I now charge ye
both Ho had lapsed into the marriage
ceremony by a trick of memory.
A business firm in Portland, Oregon,
prlnt3 the following notice in the Oregoniam
AVe would like to Inform the gentlemen of the
light-fingered persuasion, as our safe has now
been drilled four times, that we never leave a
cent in it, as we deposit all money taken in
after 3 P. M. with a firm in this city. We would
be quite willing to give the parties in question
the combination of the safe, to save them the
trouble of drlllinc any more ho!es.as. now hav
ing four, wo do not know how long it will be
waterproof, to say nothing regarding burglars
or fire. We do not bear the aforesaid gentle
men any ill will, as all men should love one an
other: but the writer will be hanpy to meet
them at any time they may appoint after 9 p.
M., when they are on the "burgle," and will
open the sate and donate all cash therein to
the "Burglars' Home," and pledge bis word of
honor to protect them during the meeting from
the stern oye of the law to the best of his
ability.
A rather peculiar petition was pre
sented to the Kansas House Thursday by Mr.
Sherman, of Rooks county. Its was from 133
citizens of that county. They want the Legis
lature to make an appropriation for the pur
pose of experimenting in the matter of secur
ing artificial rainfall by means of cannonading.
The petition was as follows: "We, your peti
tioners, many of us veterans of the late war,
knowingfrom experience that heavy rainfalls
followed each battle or heavy cannonading, and
believing that this fact indicates that man may
produco rainfall by artificial perturbation of
the atmosphere when otherwise it would not be
experienced, and believing it would be wise for
tne state ot Kansas to maKe a reasonaDie ex
periment in the matter of attempting to pro
duce artificial rainfall, would most respectfully
ask yon to make an appropriation out ot tha
treasury for the purpose of snch experiments k
either by cannonading or otherwise as may p
deemed best."
REVIEWS OF A PIIILOSPHER.
The merchant who sells on the credit sys
tem occupies a position of trust.
Wisdom comes from experience. A man
has a big head alter a night of folly.
Silence, says a philosopher, is wit.
Women are not witty, generally speaking.
Blows often follow words. The simple
word "shake!" sometimes leads to a hand to hand
encounter.
The afflictions that come to ourselves we
regard as misfortunes; those that como to our
neighbors as Judgments.
Marriage is usually a failure when a man
thinks he is marrying an angel and the woman a
man like to a novelist's hero.
He is a mean man who looks over hi3
neighbor's shoulder to read the paper to save the
expense of buying one for himself.
Happiness doesn't spring so much from
.the consciousness that we are doing well as from
the knowledge that we are doing better than our
neighbors.
A philosopher observes that a man's con
duct is largely regulated by his environment.
This Is particularly true if his environment hap
pens to be the walls of a prison.
SO IT IS.
"We're as gay as the lark
When life's prizes we win,
lint the world's very dark
When the soup we are In.
"Medical science has made such progress,"
said the doctor when speaking of his profession,
"that it 13 almost Impossible for anybody to be
burled alive now.-' Then he wondered why
everybody laughed.
If you want a woman to keep a secret
don't tell her not to tell It, for If yon tell her not
to tell It she'll tell It telling the person to whom
she tells It not to tell it, a3 she had been told not
to tell it. She would probably never have told It,
If you hadn't told her not to tell It.
tux or.ocxK to his bot.
The dreary winter's nearly gone,
The grasi Is turning green;
In many grocers' windows, John,
"New maple sugar's" seen.
We'll brush the ny specks off the lot
Left over from last year.
And In the window put a card
"New aiaple sugar here."
lurrr thought.
As from our slumbers we awake,
While dreaming we are lying.
The tender, toothsome buckwheat cake
The cook for us Is frying.
So oft when we're In downcast mood
And feel life's trouble wearing.
That moment for us something good
Dame Fortune is preparing.
Electricity Will Do Away "With All
This. "I suppose thUU my noose suit," laughed
the condemned culprit when the Jail warden
brought him bis clothes on the morning of the ex
ecution. "Why," replied the warden, "you are as Jolly
as If you had been taking a drop."
"I'm going to take one by and by."
"Come, come," said the warden, seriously,
"this Is no time for Joking."
"Why not," asked, the culprit; "aln'tthewhole
thing going to end In a choke?"
Ml from tH Botton Covritr.
IV.