p. ek 4 Qtyt BIMf. ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8, 1818. VoL 43, No. 362. Entered t Pittsburg Post offlce, November 14, 16S7, as secona-ciass matter. Business Offlce 07 andG9 Fifth Avenue. News Rooms and Publishing House 75, 77 and 79 Diamond Street. This paper having mare than Donble the circulation of any other In the State outside of Philadelphia, Its advantages as an adver tising medium will be apparent. TElOlS OF THE DISPATCH. rOSTAOK TOEE IN THE CNITOD STATES. XUILT UisrATCn, One Tear. t 800 Daily Dispatch, Per Quarter 200 Dailt DisrATcn. One Month g Daily Dispatch, Including Sunday, one rear 1000 Daily Dispatch, Including iiunday, per quarter SM Daily Dispatch, including bandar, ona month - SO EDitDAT DisrATcn. oneyear. 150 Veekly Dispatch, one year IS The Daily Dispatch U delivered by carriers at IS cents per week, or lncludlngthesuuday edition, at 20 cents per week. " Voluntary contributor! should keep copies o articles. If compensation t desired the price expected must be named. The courtesy of re turning rejected manuscripts tcill be extended rchen stamps for thai purpose are enclosed, but the Editor of The Dispatch will under no circumstances be responsible or the care of un solicited manuscripts. PITTSBURG, SUNDAY, FER 3, 18S9. THBJLLIltG BASTILE EENSATIOHS. Very dramatic are the charges brought by inmates of the "Western Penitentiary, which form the basis for the inquiry which was afoot at that institution last week. The narratives of McPhillamy and other con victs of their negotiation with officials for the means of escape, the accounts of bribery, and the intimations of torture, are all of a sort which, considering the exclusive and gloomy character of the Riverside colony, are as thrilling in their small way as tales of the old bastile or of the Tower of London. Of course it is proper that such charges should be fully and thoroughly inquired into. It would be grossly improper if the prison inspectors do not promptly investi gate; and it is needless to say that, if estab lished, the offending officials should be re moved and punished. But before accepting the evidence of the complaining prisoners the public will want very clear corrobora tion. In enforcing proper discipline officials may often incur the bitter enmity of con victs. Not much weight is usually attached to testimony that is suspected of being thus colored. Bat the very fact that the com plaints of convicts are liable to this sort of discount has, on the other hand, led in other persons to the prosecution of abuses with impunity. It is easy to carry the dis trust too far. Up to the present the administration of the "Western Penitentiary has stood well so far as the public have known of it. It is due to the officials, as well as to this State, to know whether the charges which are now made are true or false. THE VALUE OF LIFE. A boiler explosion on the Allegheny river destroyed two boats, yesterday, and with them two lives. The boats were not worth much; and for that matter the esti mate of the Pennsylvania law and the peo ple who operate explosive boilers does not place the value of the lives any higher. The straight assessment is made on the whole business, of $5,000 each. This is prob ably full value for the boats, but we sub mit that a human life is worth rather more than that. It may not do any good to raise the civil valuation of human life; but that inestimable gift of the Creator should be worth enough to send men to the peniten tiary who are guilty of the carelessness whiou results in destroying life. "When people get ready to place that value on others' lives as well as their own, the periodical killings will diminish in fre quency. 3J0TTHEIB UNPAID AGENT. By the Court decision yesterday the Schenley and the Denny estate, are discour aged in their policy of leasing rather than selling, to the extent that they will here after have to pay taxes on the improvements made by their tenants. This simply means that the city assessors can tax these big es tates, just as they always tax lesser ones, for what they find upon their ground. They will not go to the trouble of presuming or inquiring whether there are contracts be tween the Schenleys and with other parties whereby those other parties foot the bill. Nor does it seem reasonable that the city should be required to take note of such pri vate contracts. It is particularly not desir able that extraordinary steps should be taken to facilitate a policy which has kept large tracts of ground in Pittsburg in a very backward state. It is not, however, likely that either the Schenley or Denny estates will sustain any actual loss by the new procedure of having them pay their own full taxes. "Where they have stipulations in their leases that the tenants should pay, they will doubtless have recourse on the tenants; and, in new leases, they will probably adopt the expe dient of counting in a sort of general aver age of prospective taxes when fixing the rent. The practical working of the decision merely is that the city besides giving the big estates the "unearned increment" does not additionally propose to continue the ex pense and bother ot acting as their special agent and intermediary to enforce the pe culiar terms of their leases. THE RAILWAY VIEW. The declaration of Mr. C. C. "Waite in this city yesterday that the building of railways should be restricted by law is the legitimate conclusion oT the railway theories that competition has got to be restrained in the interest of the inflated capital of the ex isting lines, and that legislation must shape itself especially for the interest of the rail way class, without regard to the interests of the people at large. The irreverent out sider may ask why the same logic should not prevent the building of new rolling mills where their competition would be in convenient to the existing ones. The opera tion of new blast furnaces is now worrying the pig iron interests ot this section to no slight degree: why does not Mr. "Waite pro pose that no more blast furnaces shall be put up? The one reliable test as to whether new enterprises will pay or not is that fur nished by demand under free and honest competition. This applies to all classes of enterprise; but the declaration of the rail way interest that people who wish to de velop their own section, by building new railways, must not be permitted to do so, because it will squeeze the water out of older railway stocks, is a remarkable exhi bition of the stereotyped railroad expression a to what the public can do. WHAT IT HAS C0HE TO. A significant indication of the value which is attached to the enactments of the inter- State commerce act is furnished by the state ment that Commissioner Walker is to be the manager of what is called the Inter-State Commerce Railway Association, at a salary some three times the very liberal sum which he now draws from the United States. This organization professes to be for the purpose of enforcing the inter-State commerce law which establishes the inference that the commission does not enforce it. Let us see how the railway organization proposes to supply the lack. The fifth section of the law prohibits the pooling or division of railway traffic or its proceeds, "or any portion thereof." The purpose of the enactment is well known to every man who has given the slightest at tention to railway regulation. The object was to prevent combinations to raise rates above the level which would be fixed by competition. All the railwayorganizations since the law was passed have had for their end that which the law was intended to pre vent; but as most, if not all of them, ab stained from the pooling device, they could be tolerated, although the marked friend ship of the commissioners for them was unique. "What is the status of this organi zation? It provides a penalty of $100 for each violation of the agreement, and in ad dition the company violating it is to forfeit the revenue secured by such violation. This revenue is forfeited to the association, and thus constitutes a distinct violation of the letter of the fifth section, just as the whole purpose of the association is to nullify its spirit. It is only two years since the act was passed. That lapse of time was all that was required to bring its provisions to that con dition of desuetude necessaary to let a Com missioner step from that body to a higher salaried position established by the railroads for the object of violating the law. TBACTIOH E0AD DANGERS. The accident on the Citizens' Traction road yesterdav, emphasizes the imperative necessity that the traction companies should adopt the utmost precautions in running their cars through the crowded portions of the streets, and at points where their ap proach cannot be readily perceived. In this case, it is tolerably clear that an aged man was run over, with injuries that are likely to prove fatal, partly because the gong on the car was not sounded, and more than that because the cars come round a corner where pedestrians are likely not to see them when other cars are going down, at a higher rate of speed than is safe. The Fifth avenue line has, so far, been happily exempt from fatal or serious acci dents; but enough has occurred there to show the necessity of strict instructions to the employes to observe the utmost care against any possibility of subjecting passen gers or pedestrians to danger. On the Citi zens' line the necessity has been shown to be more imperative, by the serious occur ence of yesterday and by others less vital but still of sufficient gravity to call for prompt measures. It is a primary public duty to keep our streets safe for the weak and infirm, and no privileges granted to corporations can be permitted to destroy that safety. The civil penalties, in the shape of dam ages, which cannot fail to follow such acci dents, ought to be enough to produce ex treme caution on the part of the traction companies and their employes. The indi cations that they do not, however, may make it necessary for the people to resort to the criminal penalties. THE ABSENT C0EE STEIKE. So far, at least, the coke strike does not appear to be a general thing. The advices from Connellsville are to the effect that only a small numberof the workmen have struck, and from one source among the workers it is alleged that the majority are satisfied with their present wages. This is probably the sensible view to take of the matter, especially at this season of the year when any deprivation of the com forts of life, such as is sure to result from a strike, is severely felt Thr Dispatch does not believe that the resort to a strike affords much prospect of a correct settlement of any disputed points. It is industrial warfare, and like warfare should only be resorted to for the preservation of liberties or honor, and then only all when other means have failed. Nevertheless, it is worth while to remark that the future probability of strikes would be very much allayed by the establishment of an equitable scale based on the actual selling price of coal. A MONOPOLY MEASTJEE. The bill prohibiting parallel lines within a thousand feet of the existing traction companies was a sufficiently remarkable specimen of legislation for the benefit of monopolies introduced in the present Legis lature. But the bill brought in day before yesterday, giving gas or electric companies a monopoly where they are laid "until they have paid eight per cent dividends for eight years," caps the climax. It is hard to see how legislation forihe benefit of the corpo rations at the expense of the people can go further than that. The name of the legis lator who assumed the paternity of this measure is not given; but it would be inter esting to learn whether he read over his bill before he launched it into life. "With that provision in force, and pro vided it were not declared unconstitutional, nothing would be needed to complete the sway of gas and electric companies over our cities. Bach one could take up what terri tory it wants, charge what rates it chooses, and, by the simple expedient of passing a dividend every seventh year, make its monopoly perpetual. Such a thing as pro tecting the interests of the people never entered the head of the author of this bill, except as something to be religiously ab jured and avoided. It is getting to be the case that the people, after electing legislators to represent them, will have to send down authorized commit tees to the State Capital as a guard against the desertion of their representatives to the service of the jobbers in monopoly. Pbof. Hadley is quoted as saying: "In President Porter's time, when I went to the President's office I usually found him read ing Kant's 'Critique of Pure Reason.' Now, when I go to President Dwight's office it is two to one that I find him reading the Fi nancial Chronicle." The moral is obvious. It furnishes a sufficient explanation of the way in which Yale College teaches that the principles of political economy must be sus pended whenever it is necessary to support the Wall street effort to force values into watered stocks. The news that the crisis has come in the "West Virginia fight is not startlingly novel., The crisis came about election time, and bids lair to stay steadily by the "West Vir ginia politicians for the rest of their natural lives. It seems to,be necessary to suggest to our police officials that charges affecting their integrity are not disproved by threatening the person who makes them with bodily THE violence, or by telling the alderman before whom they are brought on surety of the peace that they will work against his re election. The charges may be wholly un founded; but proceedings of that character are not calculated to make the publio think If it be true that the hospital steward of the Western Penitentiary supplied re volvers and clothing to convicts contemplat ing escape, the situation is more picturesque than that usually presented on the stage. The sentence in the Criminal Court yes terday, of a barkeeper for selling liquor to an intoxicated person, will be apt to exert a restraining influence on that practice. Three hundred dollars fine and sixty days in the workhouse will take the profits off the sale of so much liquor, that selling it to persons already intoxicated is likely to go out of style among the licensed vendors. Balfour's policy of freezing political prisoners to death is worthy of the days of King Bomba, and may produce a result very similar to that in the case of the earlier type of tyranny. It will have to be said for our legislators 'that class legislation like the traction mo nopoly bill and the bill to make meat dear for the benefit of the butchers and grangers does not stand very much show this winter. Only the biggest corporations can get the Legislature to ignore the Constitution for their especial benefit. Both in petroleum and stocks the agree ments by which the big manipulators hope to bull the markets and then unload, are the substance of things hoped for but not yet seen. These is one reason for believing that the story that Prince Rudolf was shot by an outraged husband, and that is that the statement of his suicide was officially pro mulgated. If the suicide story had not been useful for covering up something more dis graceful it would have been declared that he died of apoplexy. If the cable dispatches keep on as in dustriously as they have begun they will before long have the Austian Crown Prince killed by Bismarck in propria persona. MnriSTEE Phelp'S departure from En gland was accompanied by the tearful adieux of the nobility, gentry and theatrical profession; but England has since then had time to draw solace from the reflection that George W. Smalley is still left in England to hold np American affairs by the tail. The accident on the Citizens' cable line yesterday is another proof that extreme care is necessary in adapting rapid transit to the needs of crowded streets. The New York street car strike being ended, some one will doubtless be keen to suggest to the strikers that they might have saved themselves from the trouble of ap pearing in the character of rioters by not striking until a strike could succeed on peaceable grounds. The Denny adaptation of the George theory of land taxation does not commend itself to the courts any more than the gen uine single tax idea. Miss Maby Anderson's performance of "A Winter's Tale" is very vivid; but it cannot create so lasting an impression as the tale of this winter will, unless we have some ice as it will be represented by the bills of the ice companies next summer. PROMINENT PEOPLE PAKAGEAPHED. In the Rev. Mr. Spurceon's library is the precious copy of one of bis sermons which was found in Dr. Livingstone's box, in Africa, after the explorer's death. A thoughtful and worthy New Year's gift was that of Prince Charles of Sweden to his mother, the Queen. It was a set of furni ture for a hospital room for the use of two pa tients, and it has been placed In the Queen's name in the Royal Hospital at Stockholm. Tun Czar has been advised by his physicians to "do Banting." For a man who as a Conti nental correspondent puts it can eat his two pounds of meat and drink nearly a magnum of champagne at luncheon, the advice would in ordinary times not nave been palatable, but the Czar sow suffers cruelly from insomania,and the doctors think that an over-liberal diet is the cause of the mischief. Dk. Olives Wendell Holmes, in present ing his medical library to the Boston Medical Library Association, has parted with a collec tion which has taken a lifetime to gather. The oldest book in the series was written in 1490 and the latest in 1S87. Bays Dr. Holmes; "These books are dear to me; a twig from some one of my nerves runs to every one of them, and they mark the progress of my study and the stepping-stones of.my professionel life. If any of them can be to others as they have been to me, I am willing tn part with them, even if they are such old and beloved companions." Objects belonging to the slaves and over seers who worked the copper mines of Rio Tinto, near Huelva, Spain, during the Roman epoch are kept In a museum in that town. Mr. J. H. Round reports that the hoes and pick axes used in Spain are almost the same as those found in the mines. The treadmills used for draining the mines had ropes for the slaves to hold on. Bronze urns and pigs of lead with Roman stamps, fetters, collars and anklets of modern shapes, amphora standing in their stone sockets, and coins as late as A. D. 680 are there to be seen. An earlier working of the mines than the Roman is indicated by rude mortars and pestles, together with hammers of stone with depressions in the center of the handle. These may be some humor in Senator Pal mer's forthcoming novel. While Senator Dolph was speaking on the Samoan question on Wednesday Senator Palmer left the Senate chamber to see a constituent from Detroit. "What's going on In the Senate?" asked the caller. "Why," replied Palmer, "they are dis cussing a bill relating to the affairs of your late father-in-law." "Not Mr. Owen," ex claimed the astonished Mlchlgander. "Yes, Mr. Owen," returned the Senator, "old Sam Owen. You can get a copy of the bill in the Document Boom." The surprised visitor made a dash for the gallery. He wanted to hear Senator Dolph had to say abont Father-in-law Sam Owen. Qualifications of a College President. From the Boston Herald. 1 Wherein the qualifications which are now required in a model college president differ from those of the old days was very pun gently stated by Prof. Hadley at the Yale alumni dinner in this city the other night. "In President Porter's time," said Prof. Had ley, "when I went to the President's office I usually found him reading Kant's 'Critique of Pure Reason.1 Now when I go to President Dwight's offlce it is two to one that I find him reading the Financial Chronicle." The moral Is obvious. Close of the CntlicdrnI Fair. The closing night of the eminently successful Cathedral fair wound up with a pretty evening ot music and recitation. A large crowd was present and was delighted with selections by Misses Jennie Gray, Flora Womersley, Emily McAllster, Sadie Totten, Ida Lanigan and Celia Fenesy; also Messrs. J. M. Bays, Law rence Ricketts, Frank J. Totten, P. A Ward and R. Mayers. Sir Knlchts to Entertain. On February U the third of a series of charming entertainments will be given at La fayette Ball under the auspices of Drill Corps of Allegheny Commandery No. 35, Knights Templar. The entertainment begins at 7:43 with music and elocution by well-known peo ple, a few hours of pleasant dancing to follow. PITTSB1TKG. DISPATCH, THE TOPICAL TALKER. A Few Words on the Text of Domestic Serv ft Itude In modern Gnlte. IF it were possible I would always like to ob tain the views ot the servants in the house in estimating the value of a man or woman. To make mymeanlng clear, I think the character of a man or woman is more often displayed naked to his or her domestic servants than to anyone else. The valet knows his master so well that it has been wisely said that no man appears great in his valet's eyes. The maid, be she a stylish girl of the Imported kind, or a plain, not too well-informed cook, usually has the traits of her mistress and her motives and means at her fingers' ends. Have you ever noticed that the best men and women you know, and especially the women, are' those who are uniformly popular with the servants wherever they goT If you haven't de served this already, test tne accuracy or my statement with your own eyes. V Afeofos of this, an incident I noted recently suggests itself. A woman who applied for a place as cook with a family in this city was subjected to a very searching cross-examination as to her abilities and habits by the lady of the house. At last the latter asked the woman: "Do you drinkf" The woman replied with quiet dignity: "No, ma'am; but judging by wbatrve seen In service I might ask you that question." Asked to explain herself the woman con tinued: "In both my last places my employers drank to excess, and I led a dog's life In conse quence. I do not mean to enter a honse where the mistress touches a drop of liquor." This was turning the tables with a vengeance. Naootno and a silly predlllction some women have for Interfering with everything and everybody they can reach, are at the bot tom of a great many complaints one hears in social circles against the nineteenth century domestic. There was an excellent parlor maid in a cer tain family in this county who for some reason took it into her head to "hotter herself;" that is, she left a comfortable place for one which promised more money. She stayed in her new berth for exactly one year and then returned to the family she had worked for at first. But that year of contact with a woman who had a real genius for nagging and annoying her servants had made this paragon of a parlor maid pert, impudent and Inclined to shirk her labors. It seems to be a fact that while many serv ants injure theirmlstresses' tempers and health by their misconduct there are not a few serv ants who are spoiled by the foolish behavior of their employers. A FORTUNE SATED M MARRYING. A Callow Youth Weds a Widow to Escape Annoying Lawsuits. Charleston, S. C, February a About the queerest case of matrimony on record is re ported in Spartanburg county, in this State. Obadiah Blaylock, a callow youth, found him self the defendant in several lawsuits, with judgments out against him. His property was advertised for sale Friday last. Before Satur day night the Sheriff received notice from him that he wonld claim homestead, and ho asked that he send out and have it laid off for blm, Inasmuch as he was not willing to see his wife and children placed in. a condition of want and suffering. It seems that this enterprising young mer chant had found a widow with three children who consented to an immediate marriage and had thus provided himself with a ready-made family. Under the homestead laws of this State a man's estate is exempt from judgment to the amonnt of $1,000. The plaintiff's attor neys have given notice to the other side that they will apply to the conrt to set aside the marriage as illegal, having been contracted to hinder, delay and defraud the creditors out of their just and lawful claims. LINCOLN'S P0ETEAIT, Valued at 815,000, Meets With a Serious Accidentia the Senate. Enecial Telegram to The Dispatch. Washington, February 2. The portrait ol .Lincoln, which is to be purchased by the Gov ernment for 615,000, if a bill introduced yester day by Senator Voorhees passes, came near being ruined to-day. Workmen were moving it to the gallery corridors of the, Senate to place it near ine iamous landscapes by Thomas Moran, when they brought it so violently Into some object as to make a long rent In the canvas, about a foot above the top of the head of the portrait As it is the damage can be easily repaired, but if the rent had ijeen across the face the work would have been irretrievably injured. As a portrait the picture is fair, but as a work of art it is worthless. It is by one Travis, an artist without reputation, and in view of the lack of merit of the work and the obscurity of the artist the price named in the bill Is looked upon as laughably absurd. It is not claimed that the portrait was even painted from life, and there are now a dozen artists in this city who will paint a better portrait of Lincoln or any other man for $500. M'GLTNN'S PARISH DIVIDED. Tho Carmelite Order, From Dublin, Will Take Charge of the Enstern Portion. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. New York, February 2. St. Stephen's Roman Catholic parish, Dr. McGlynn's old parish, has been divided by Archbishop Corri gan, and a new parish formed from the east ern part. The new parish will run from Twenty-fourth to Thirty-third streets, and from the east side of second avenue to the East river. It will be in charge of the Car melites from Whitefriar street, Dublin. The Provincial, the Very Rev. John Bartley, has been In town some time, making the arrange ments for introducing his order into the arch diocese. The site of L. V. Conover & Co.'s iron foundry on Twenty-eighth and Twenty-ninth streets, between First and Second avenues, has been bought for 870,000 as a site for the church. It includes seven lots four on Twenty-eighth street and three on Twenty ninth street. The Carmelites will administer spiritual consolations to the Catholic patients in Bellevue Hospital. EOE A LONG CEUISE. William ICVnndorbilt and Fnmlly on the Yacht Alva. Baltimore, February 2. William K. Van derbilt, the millionaire, and his party arrived here yesterday afternoon, and went aboard the yacht Alva. At 9 this morning the Alva steamed out of the harbor. The Alva is off for Bermuda, Funchal, Madeira and thence to the Mediterranean. ' She will cruise for some time and then go to Norway and England. The trip will last about seven months. Mr. Vanderbilt has his wife and children, O. H. P. Belmont, O. Redmond and Winfield Scott Hoyt accompanying him. , Oar Triennial Assessment. From the Philadelphia Tlmes.l Pittsburg is bragging that the new triennial assessment of that city will show a taxable val uation of $191,072,000. This is nearly equal to the assessed valuation of the State of Alabama, which is 211,925,809, and of Louisiana, assessed at $213,000,000. It exceeds the assessment of Arkansas, which is 8127,000,000, and Colorado, which pays taxes on $130,000,000, while it is more than twice the assessed value of Florida, which is 78,617,409. The fault which the tax payers will find with the new assessment is that the big valuation will encourage the levy of big taxes. Qncen of Sweden and the Servant Qnestlon. Prom the Chicago News. It Is said that the Queen of Sweden has to do her own housework in order to preserve her heaHb. Probably the hired girl whom she last had was more trouble than she was worth. Has One Distinction, at Least. From the Chicago Neva. Even if it should never float any ships, De Lesseps can at least assert that the Panama Canal has floated General Boulanger into great power. DEATHS OP A DAL Captain John A. Davis. Captain John A. Davis, a widely known Ohio river pilot, whose list of friends was only limited by the range of acquaintance, (died after a long andpalnfnl sickness at his residence In Coraop. oils, on Friday night. He will be buried this aT ternoon at 3 o'clock, Miss Jennie Cognn. Miss Jennie Cogan, of Braddock, a teacher In the Port Perry schools, died yesterday morning of pneumonia, aged 23 years. SUNDAY,' FEBRUARY THE DOCTOR ASTONISHED. A Philadelphia Invalid Thrives on a Diet of Glass Tumblers. Philadelphia, February 2. Michael Htn ley, of 143 North Fourth street, yesterday went on a periodical spree and became in volved in a quarrel with a stranger. Dur ing the enconnter one of Hanley's arms was dislocated. Ho went to the Pennsylvania Hospital for treatment. Dr. Shoemaker fixed him up soon. Then the patient asked for a glass of water. Nurse McCann secured it. Tho man swallowed the contents and astonished the physician and nurse by biting out a portion of the tumbler and swallowing It, Then he took another big bite. He was careful to show the physician that he swallowed the glass. He had eaten about three-fourhs of the tumbler, when the doctor, f earingf atal consequences, took the remainder away. But tho man was not to be discouraged. "I'll tell you what I'll do," he shouted ex citedly. 'Til bet you that I can drink water faster than you can hand it to me. You can fet a bucketful and hand it out from that and can beat you." Nurse McCann told the doctor that he wonld soon knock the visitor out, for he intended getting goblets that could hold a pintful. He returneu with the glasses and one of the big goblets was filled with icewater from the cooler. The man emptied it at one draught. Another was handed to him instantly. He gulped this down also without stopping. Fif teen more were banded to him and he dis posed of them with the same rapidity. Dr. Shoemaker, fearing that the man might be taken seriously ill, interposed at the seven teenth round. He begged for more, bat the doctor Isaid he had enough. He was bowed out and reluctantly went. A TEDE PREDICTION. Sirs. Harrison Always Thought That Ben jamin Would be President. Chicago, February 2. Mr. Russell Harri son, son of the President-elect, refused to see reporters while here. While Mr. Harrison would not and did not talk to reporters here, be told an interesting story to a personal friend with whom he had engaged in conversation. "Mother has always had an idea, as long as I can remember," said the young man, "that father would some day be President of the United States. When he was defeated for re election to the Senate she cheered him up and told him his chances forgetting the Presidental nomination were better out of the Senate than in it, and mother had an idea, too, that father would be nominated here by this convention. Father was never sanguine, but mother stuck to it, though we all feared the Gresbam move ment would kill father's chances. "When at last the nomination was made, I don't think mother was surprised a bit, and she told father he needn't concern himself about the election at all, as he would go to the White House just as sure as he lived. Mother didn't pretend to know anything abont politics, but' she wouldn't give up her idea that father would be President some day. So you see she knew more about it than most of the politicians." A BOOKKEEPER'S PRISON. Accidentally Locked In a Bank Vault for Fifteen Long Hoars. New Haven, February 2. Benjamin C Lum, bookkeeper at the New Haven Savings Bank, was accidentally locked up in tho big bank vault yesterday afternoon and his where abouts were a mystery until the vault was opened for business this morning at 9 o'clock. Just before closing the bank yesterday Book keeper Lum carried his books intu the vanlt and, while arranging them, struck his bead In some way against a shelf with such force as to render him unconscious. Shortly after Treas urer J. P. Tuttle, supposing that Lum had gone home closed the vault and set the time lock. During the night Lum's family grew very anxious over his unusual absence, and early this morning began searching for him. No trace could be found, and the bank officials finally concluded that he must have been locked up In the safe. The party reached the bank just at opening hours, and when Treasur er Tuttle hurriedly opened the door Lum has tily stepped out whero he could get fresh air, decidedly hungry but little worse for his 15 hours close confinement. In answer to in quiries Lum said: "I feel first Tate and am as bright as a dollar, but I was anxiously awaiting the opening of that big door." 'A SINGULAR LAW SUIT. The Case Postponed Many Times Because of Sickness and Dentb. Alliance, O., February 2. One of the most remarkable Instances which has ever oc curred in this place is that connected with the lawsuit of Benjamin Eldenier versus Michael Glessner and Ream Brothers, all residents of this community, and is as follows: Plaintiff was living on defendants' farm until 1885. when trouble arose, and he was informed that his remaining thero was not in accord with defendants' wishes. A suit in Common F(eas Conrt for damages was instigated. A day was set for trial, but it was postponed on account of sickness of one of the defendants. Time after time a day for trial was announced, bnt sickness interfered. In the meantime an important witness on the part of the plaintiff sickened and died. This was followed by the death of two of the defendants; then a witness on behalf of defendants passed away. The case was finally taken from Common Pleas for arbitration. Yesterday was set apart for the trial, but again if was destined to meet its fate, having to be postponed on account of the criti cal illness of two others of the defendants. FROZEN WHEAT WILL GROW. Experiments Prove Tbnt tho Grain Is Not Affected by Cold. St. Paul, February 2. The experiments being carried out at the State Experimental Farm with frozen wheat are attracting the at tention of all leading grain men. About 30 samples of frozen or frosted wheat, of all grades from No. 3 down to the poorest sort of shriv eled, shrunken, frozen grain, have been em ployed for the test. Fifty seeds of each quality wero selected and planted, and are growing in the greenhouses. Some of the seeds are abont the next thing to mere chaff, and yet many of them have sprouted, and, as a rule, seem to be making a healthy growth. The stalks are now six or eight Inches in height, and it slmplv remains to be seen whether they have sufficient vitality to mature. A Postmaster Slnco 1S30. STETJBENViLLE,February 2. W. H. Wallace, 8r., of Hammondsvllle, this county, Is the old est postmaster in years of service in the United States. He has been postmaster for over 58 years, his first appointment being by President Jackson in 1830, and he is still handling the mail at Hnmmondsville, as well as conducting a mercantile business. Mr. Wallace was born at Frcllghsburg, Province of Quebec, Canada, in ISM. Mrs. Frellngbnyscn Is Dying. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. New York, February 2. Mrs. Frederick T. Frelinehnysen, the widow of the late Secretary of State, is dying at her homo in Newark. She has never been thoroughly well since before ber husband's death. She was ill at the time of his death, . St. Petersburg's Population Decreasing. Front the Boston HernW.l By the new census of St. Petersburg, it ap pears that the population has fallen off 80,000 in eight years. This seems to vindicate the law of physics, which declares that heat expands and cold contracts. THE ALL-KIND MOTHER. Lo, whatever Is at hand Is fall meet for the demand : Nature ofttimes giveth best When she seemeth chariest. She bath shapen shower and sun To the need of every one Snmmcr bland and winter drear, Dimpled pool and frozen mere. All thoa lackest the hath still. Near thy finding and tby fill. Yield her fullest faith, and the Will endow thee royally. Loveless weed and lily fair She attendeth, here and there Kindly to the weed as to The lorn lily tearcd with dew. Each to her hath use as dear As the other; an thou clear Thy cloyed senses thou may'st see Haply all the mystery. Thou shalt see the lUy get Its dlvinest blossom; yet Bhall tho weed's tip bloom no less With the songbird's gleefulness. Thou art poor, or thou art rich- Never lightest matter which: All the glad gold of the noon, All the silver of the moon. She doth lavish on thee, while Thou wlthholdest any smile Of thy gratitude to her, Baser used than usurer. name be on thee an thou seek Not her pardon, with hot cheek. And bowed head, and brimming eyes. At her merciful "Arlsel" James WMtcomb MUey, in'Tht Century. 8,",-' 188D. " " " V J vi CAPITAL GOSSIP. Warlike Sentiment Among Politicians The Men Who Wonld Fight Qnay and Stages Still on the Oats The Mystery of Five Aces. Corre spondence of The Dispatch. Washington, February 2. "Let loose the dogs of war." has been the cry of the small fry every day and night during the last week. Those of broad and "statesmanlike" views ad vise proceeding with care. They say if we must fight It will not cost any more lives and money to wait awhile. "On to Samoa!" is the response of the small fry, interspersed with such pretty remarks as "Down with Bis marck!" "American citizens in Samoa must be nroteeteill" shont a class that is lust a bit more conservative than the witless small fry. "Our flag must be respected," growls the en thusiastic patriot, who don't know why ho is so. Whnt Were the Outrages? What right ot what American citizen has been outraged or curtailed7 What was "our flag" doing when it was shot down and burned? Let us look at The truth in all its glorious nudity. A few hundred citizens of the United States, finding themselves unable to gobble up sufficient pelf to satisfy their porcine desires, in competitition with other citizens of the United States, in their own country, go far away among the simple-minded natives of the Navigator Islands, who areyetuncontaminated by the autocracy of fashion, and who have not yet asked the momentous question, "Is Mar riage a Failure?" They teach these children of nature to wear clothes, and glass beads, and brass jewelry, and to smoke, and chew, and drink, sell to them at enormous profit all of tba articles necessary for the gratification of these newly-created desires, and then when they fear that the English or the Germans will drive them out of business, conspire with the old Samoan King and his generals to secure the ascendency of the United States in Samoan affairs. When they are hauled up short by the Germans they tell a heart-rending story of the vicious conduct of the aggressive and unprincipled subjects of Bismarck, and ask for "protection" in their pursuit of skinning the natives. Asfor the flag, I am not informed that when it was shot down and burned it was floating over a building owned or rented by the United States. It may have been over a house devoted to faro and chnck-a-luck, or a mercantile establish ment devoted to cheating the Samoans, which would be no more respectable than the other. What It means. What business has the United States with Samoa, anyway? Wonld it not be better for us to be a purely domestic country and keep our noses out of unprofitable foreign corners, where we are likely to get them tweaked by people whose business it is to fight, who want room to Bpread ont and must have It? I can't for the life of me see why we should more object to the Germans having Samoa than to them having Germany. It is certainly as much theirs as ours, and they need it, possibly, and we certainly do not. Down with a "vigorous foreign policy," say L It means the expenditure of hundreds of mil lions unnecessarily, the sacrifice of unmeasured property and life, and possibly the ruin of the nation. It means a vast navy and a big stand ing army, an increase instead of a decrease of the national debt, the piling np of taxes and other evils too many to enumerate. The Poor 3Ian Does the Fighting. "Oh, it's all well enough for you to talk war," said I to a Jingo Senator this morning, "but who would do the fighting? Not you. nor any of the others who help to make war, but the poor who flee to the army as a sure means of employment, and whose lives are not much pleasure to them anyway." "Well, I think that would be a good thing," said the philanthropic Senator. "We have a surplus poor population, and a war might be a happy solution of labor troubles, at lest tem porarily." Well, in this, at least, some of our statesmen are In sympathy with the German statesmen. It was a frank, if somewhat brutal avowal. It is interesting to kntw just bow some of our freat law makers feel about these matters, and have no doubt many hold opinions exactly similar to the one so honestly expressed above. Tho Qnay-Magee Fend. "Your hopeful picture of a cessation of hos tilities, and the beginning of a new era of peace and love between Senator Quay and Mr. C. L. Mageo. Is very pretty, but I fear it is prema ture," said a prominent visiting politician from Pennsylvania to me the other day. "I know pretty well what is going on In that circle, and I can assure you that while Senator Cameron is using his best offices to bring about harmony. Quay and Magee are no nearer to gether than they have been at any time since the divorce. Oh, yes, they speak as they pass by, but that is about all. I have no doubt they will rearrange their relations in the course of time to work together, because it is to the in terest of both to do so. The entire tendency seems to be toward harmony among all of the bodies of former disagreeing factions of the Republicans. Cameron and Blaine have sat together at several love feasts. Mr. and Mrs. Blaine were at a dinner at the old Cameron mansion on Lafayette Square. At an elegant luncheon given by Senator Hale in tho room of the Committee on Naval Affairs who should I see hanging on the arm of Mr. Blaine but Mrs. Senator Cameron. It seems to me that the cordiality between the two fam ilies is genuine and complete. 1 believe the overtures in this mediation camo from the friends of Mr. Blaine. They knew he was to go Into the Cabinet of President Harrison. It was desired by him and all his friends that he should go in there without serious antag onisms lurking on the outside. Quay, at the head of the National Committee, occupied a position in which, if he had opposed Blaine, things wonld have been unpleasant all round for the new administration. Qnay was in a way responsible for tho existence of the new regime, and consequently responsible for its snecess a3 far as it lay In his power to promote success. Therefore, I imagine the junior Sen ator from our State was quite willing, with the senior Senator, to meot the Blaines half way and bury the hatchet, recognizing that it was practically impossible for Harrison to avoid of fering Blaine the portfolio of State. The rec onciliation of Quay and Magee is in line with this, and will doubtless come soon." A Disappointed Politician. "Hon. W. L. Scott is the most disappointed man politically In the United States," said a member of Congress to me this morning, as the Erie millionaire walked past us through the aisle. "He believed implicitly in the power of money, and he and his fellow Democratic millionaires poured it out like water. He would have been in the Cabinet had Cleveland succeeded himself. He had pictured the close of his active life surrounded by a blaze of po litical glory. He wonld be the power behind tho throne. He not only gave tens of thou sands but wagered many other tens of thou sands. He did not think failure was possible. He actually believed that Pennsylvania would be carried by the Democrats. His downfall was simply terrible, because it meant his retire ment from national politics forever, except perhansasa manipulator of conventions of the minority party. It was a cruel blow, but oue common in political life." An Ace Too Many. I bavo received the following communication from a Presbyterian elder, highly esteemed by his fellow citizens of the esthetic and moral town of "Little" Washington: Dear Sir Your poker story in Sunday's Dispatch was good, but a careful scrutiny of the number of aces laid down in those three hands seems to make it appear that for "ways that are dark and tricks that are vain tho Washington game is peculiar. Out of consideration for tho good elder's modesty I do not print his name. Let my crude knowledge of the game of poker be my excuse for those five aces. The story was ab solutely true, with the exception that 1 should have said the opener laid down a king high flush instead of one ace high. The game was honest if ever a game was, and my Washington (Pa.) friend would recognize tho truth of this assertion if I were to whisper in his ear tho names of the statesmen who were engaged in the game. The only curious thing about the incident was that the Representative whom I called to see passed his band blind in a "jack pot," in sheer disgust at his previous bad luck; that the "jack" was opened by the very next player, thus giving my friend the "golden seat;" that every man "taycd in:" that the Representative picked up four aces in his blind hand, and luckily found against him one strong flush and a big full hand. If there were any other technical errors In the account, I hope my good friend, the elder, will attribute them to my poor memory of the graphic explanation ot the hands and play given to me by the statesmen engaged, and to my own utter igno rance of the game. E. W. L A Magnificent American Ship. Philadelphia, February 2. From Charles Hillman & Co,'s shipyard the large wooden 1,100-ton steamship Maracaibo was launched this afternoon. She Is said to be stancher than any other wooden vessel of her size ever put into the water from any of the shipyards along the Delaware. She was planned and con structed for a special trade by the Red "D" line lor their main line. I GATHERED Iff OEEAT GOTHAM. Mrs. Brlce Loses a Valuable Jewel CHEW TORE BUBZAU 6PICLU.S.1 NEW YORK, February 2. Mrs. Calvin B. Brice has lost "an oblong aaua-marine pin, cut intaglio with several flgufes, and set with 35 diamonds." She offers $100 reward to the finder. Sbo thinks the pin contains the largest aqua-marine stone in the world, and values it way up in the thousands. Colonel Brlce is ad vertising for it in all the papers. The pin dis appeared at a big Madison avenue reception, two nights ago. Six Men Saved From Starving. In Justice Duffy's police court, this morning, six young men asked to be sent to the Island because they could find no work. The Judge asked them If they conld care for horses. They said they could. . The Jndge promptly handed a nickel to each man and said. "They need men at the Second avenue streetcar stables since the strike. Take a trip up there." All six went to the stebles and got work. Getting Ready for War. Colonel James J. Mooney is enrolling a small army of veterans who are ready to help drive the Germans out of Samoa. As soon as the Samoan trouble began, veterans of Colonel Mooney's acquaintance decided to form a reg iment. This they did on paper. Nearly 2,000 have signed their names to the enlistment roIL They claim that similar enlistments are being made in several large Western and South ern cities, and that they can be ready for the field In 30 days. Got Hold of the Wrong Bottle. Mrs. James C. Stead, wife of a prosperous Brooklyn manufacturer, kept a bottle of wine and a bottle of acetic acid on the same shelf in a dark closet. Late last night she took a big swallow from the wrong bottle. She was im mediately seized with acute pains in her throat and stomach. Before her husband could sum mon a doctor she became unconscious. Some what later she recovered slightly, but a little later died in horrible agony. A Great Time Ahead. Over $22,000 have beensubscribed here toward defraying the expenses of the Washington In augural Centennial. Arrangements have been made with, all the trunk lines entering the city for the issue of tickets at the rate of 1J cent a mile during the celebration. The Committee on Art is preparing a memorial medal to be worn by everyone who takes official part in the anniversary exercises. Killed Over a Game of Tag. . Leo Clossis, 10 years old, and Jimmlo Mc Donald, 13 years old, quarreled a few days ago over a game of tag. Jimmle kicked Leo in the stomach and leg. Blood poisoning resulted from the bruise in Leo's leg. Last night he died. To-day young McDonald was arrested. A Crisis In the Sorosis. The New York Sorosis is in a ferment. Mrs. Thomas, who has been its President for three years, is being pushed for re-election by a faction under the lead of Hester M. Poole. An opposing faction has nominated Jennie June for the Presidency. A small free-for-all party is out against both Mrs. Thomas and Jennie June on personal grounds. Many members say that the Sorosis is done for, whoever maybe the next President. They think it has been doomed since it ceased to be fashionable. There is much talk among woman suffragists here about organizing a new woman rights society out ot the wreck which the Sorosis is expected to be after the approaching election. NATURALIZATION DEFECTS. Several Amendments to the New BUI Are Now Being Prepared. Washington, February 2. The House Committee on Judiciary to-day had the natur alization bill again under consideration. To meet the objection that had been made to the original bill that it would operate to pre vent an intending citizen from acquiring a home for his family during the year probation ary period, it was suggested that a section be added limiting the property rights of aliens who may file a preliminary declaration of in tention to become citizens to the entry of one homestead. It was believed by the committee that such a limitation would bo just to immi grants and at the same time prevent foreigners who have no real Intention to become citizens from acquiring large tracts of land from the United States. To fit the case of Indians who desire to be come citizens and who would be greatly ham pered under the operation of the bill as orig inally prepared, another section was suggested extending the privilege of naturalization to aliens in cases where tbey renounce their tribal relations and assume civilized life. The mem bers who suggested these amendments were re quested to reduce them to form and the bill as amended will be further considered next week. FLORIDA'S MISSING MESSENGER, The Returns Have Been Secured, Bnt the Man Is Missing. Washington, February a The electoral vote of Florida was the only one not received by President pro tern Ingalls within the time fixed by law for the messengers to present their Jiackets to him. In accordance with the new aw on the subject of counting the electoral vote, Secretary Bayard, upon being notified of the delinquency, appointed Law Clerk Bryan, of the State Department, special messenger to seenre the vote. He started last Tuesday night and returned this morning, having made the trip In very short time, and this afternoon banded the vote to President pro tern Ingalls. He heard nothing of the missing messenger appointed by the electors on his trip. Allegheny Mnslcnl Clnb. The fourteenth concert and promenade ot the Allegheny Musical Club, under the director ship of Prof. L. Zitterbart. will be given Feb ruary 5. The usual high class order of music will be given by well known vocalists and players. Aspect of the French Crisis. From the Chicago News. The French crisis has arrived all right, but it begins to look as if it wished it hadn't. SCIENTIFIC SCRAPS. It has been observed that the Eiffel Tower, now over 670 feet high, has been frequently en veloped In cloud at a height of 620 feet. Prof. Graham Bell says that the con genital deaf mutes of the country are Increas ing at a greater fate than the general popula tion. Recent electroscopic experiments fully con firm former conclusions regarding the origin of atmospheric electricity from aqueous evapo ration. In the severe earthquake shock that occurred recently In Vogtland there were remarkably loud subterranean noises, but no serious damage. The administration in Brazil is going to fit up all telegraph stations suitably situated with instruments for making meteorological obser vations. The greatest mean heights and depths of continents and ocean are found in the northern hemisphere between 30 and 10, and in the southern between 10 and 30. The remedy against sore throat of wearing a few threads ot Berlin wool around the throat Is said to act by keeping up a belt of skin action and so acting as a connter-lmtant. It is said that a fatigued eye recovers last the perception of the color by which the fatigue has been induced, and first recovers the sensi tiveness of the complementary color. An area of 3,500 square miles m the drainage basins of the Jemez and Rio Grande has been surveyed with sufficient detail to construct a map on the scale of two miles to an inch. It was found that the loss by evaporation from a large tank for supplying the city of Nagpur with water was in the hottest season 2X times as great as the quantity supplied for consumption. Examinations in English schools go toward proving that color blindness is often declared tobepiesentwhen really no organic defect, bnt only poor training in the naming and dis tinction of colors, is found to be the trouble. AN admirable textile matter, said to be soft, elastic, tough, and silky, and which can be chemically bleached without losing these prop erties, has been obtained in France from a plant called kanaff, brought from the shores of the Caspian Sea. A building 13 feet by 23 feet and 11 feet high, made of canvas and paper and built in sections for convenient transportation, has been made for the Harvard South American astronomical party. A galvanized Iron cupola surmounts this structure. CUBI0US CONDEHSATI0BS. Several cases of blindness are reported among observers of the sun during the eclipse, in California. The law library of Congress contains over",fl00 carefully selected volumes, ex dm Blegal In character. aeard over seven and one-half feet lor Lirorn by Louis Coulon. a mechanic 63 yf t, living in MonUucon, France. : biggest steam derrick in the world Le Hamburg docks. It can pickup ! eled locomotive and place it on a steam- rty tons of stone have been left on a sculd SO feet high in Mark Lane. London, for two years past, and the people have just woke up to the fact that they may feel something drop. All the slow-going British gnnboats on foreign service are to be brought home and de voted to coast defenses and their former duties assigned to new vessels of greater speed and armaments. A. lazy genius in Maryland has in vented an automatic fishing pole, which, by the aid of stout spiral springs, yanks uut the un wary denizens of the streams while the fisher man smokes and reads in peace. Quaritch, the London bibliophile, wants 6,220 for a psalter of the fifteenth century ha has In stock, and which, he calls "the grandest work ever produced by typography, and one o the rarest of the early monuments of print ing." The costliest book owned in Chicago is a copy of the first folio edition of 8hakespeare, published In 1623. It is regarded as the finest copy in America, ond is valued at $10,000. Its owner Is a man who made a fortune on the Chi cago Board of Trade. The farmers and gardeners of Southern New Hampshire are of the opinion that the open winter weather, which caused buds to start, will bring about a failure of the f mit crop the coming so ason. So they are quoted on the subject, at least. A Coroner's jury in New Rochelle, N. Y., after an investigation Into the death of an infant, reached the conclusion that "the child came to its death, January 21, 1889. through the ignorance of Its mother and her husband, from causes unknown to the jury." The new pencils introduced by Eaber for writing upon glass, porcelain and metals in red, white and bine, are made by melting to gether four parts of spermaceti, three parts of tallow and two parts of wax. this mixture being; colored with white lead, red lead, or Prussian blue, as desired. The strike of the New York street car men has had a disastrous effect upon the theaters. For several evenings the audiences have been so small as to suggest the advisabili ty of closinz up the more remote houses. Only those in the more central localities have earned enough to cover their expenses. A placard placed on the window of a shoemaker's shop near Cripplegate, London, many years ago, is said to have read as fol lows: "Surgery performed on aged Boots and Shoes broken Legs sett and bound upright dis ordered feet repaired the wounded heeled, Tho whole Constitution mended and the body sup ported by a new Sole. By T. T." A young gentleman of Ocenee, Ga., had a bone felon, for which a physician prescribed a blistering ointment. The remedy was appllod In the evening just before retiring, and by an accident a small particle of the ointment was dropped unobserved in the heel of the shoe of the afflicted. The result was a blistered finger and a blistered heel, but the felon was cured. Walking sticks are now being made) that are useful as well as ornamental. From one a silk umbrella can be drawn and screwed to the cane; another has a receptacle fornlckels and cents, and Is convenient for thoso who ride on street and other city cars and cross ferries; another contains a measure for the height of horses, and has a spirit-level attachment; and still another has a good little watch set in tho crystal handle. The imitation of Western civilization by the Japanese has led them to regard Sunday, which in Japan has hitherto been decidedly continental In its character, as a day of rest. This began with the closing of the Government establishments on Sunday. The Tokio citizens followed this example, and the closing spread from city to village, and now on a fine Sunday business is nearly suspended and the places of popular resort are crowded A best man asked at the conclusion of a marriage service in South Kensington what fees were due, and received this statement: Vicar, i is; chancel fee. XI Is; clerk and sacristan, 1 Is; organist. 2 2s; blower, 5s; red clotn, 1 lis: total, 10 4s. And the vicar was not present at that. The best man refused to pay it. and inquiry revealed the decision of a case in 1S68 which held that a fee of 10 shillings to the rector and 3 shillings to the clerk was unreasonably high. If the Missionary Review is correct, the 3,000,000 converts in the foreign mission fields are setting a good example to tho many millions of Christians at home, for these converts have sent out 30,000 missionaries, or one of every hundred, while their more fortunately born brethren send but one in five thousand. The converts serve as native preachers, teachers, catechists. and lay helpers, and prove helpful to the regular missionary force sent from England and this country. Three years ago John Wright, of Pike county, Georgia, lost his sight, and the oculists that he consulted agreed that there was no pos sibility of his ever seeing again. The other day as Mr. Wright sat on the porch in the sunlight his eyes began to itch violently. He rubbed them, and when he took away his fingers he was conscious that he could distinguish objects dimly. During the day his power of vision in creased, and at last account the old gentleman was in a fair way to see as well ss ever. The most serious blow ever struck at fox hunting has been attempted by 26 farmers In Essex and Hertfordshire. Mr. Gosling was master of hounds, and these 2S farmers told him not to hunt on their land, and because ona of his dogs ran over a lor. tbey bronght him to court. The Jndge decided that there wa3 no trespass, there being no damage and no in tention of trespass; but tho case will bo bronght up in another way. and it shows cer tainly a surprising change in tho attitude of the English farmers toward one of England's greatest institutions. The London Mode of Fashion says that tho Empress of Japan is at the head of a pow erful movement for bettering the condition of j the women of that country. She has es tab-1 lished a college for women at Toklo, under the I management of a committee of European and 1 American women. The standard of education I Is very low, esDecially In the country districts, i and It is hoped that this college will prove a valuable aid in raising the women of Japan to a higher level. In one of the London hospitals there are now three Japanse ladles who are go ing through their training as nurses, with the intention of returning to their own country when qualified and teaching their country women. FUNNY MEN'S FANCIES. Probabilities Correct Mrs. Winks Well, I declare! The weather Indications are right for once. Mr.Wlnks (looking over her Bhoulder) Humph I That paper you've got Is a week old. Philadel phia Record. "My family," said Eedtape, pompously, Is a distinguished one. It came to this country in the Mayflower." "Why," observed Selvedge, "that was tbename of the emigrant vessel that my cook came over In also." Chicago Kews. Very Absent Minded. Ad absent-minded man entered a shoe shop the other day andwanted his boy measured for a pair of shoes. "Bnt Where's the boy?" asked the dealer. "Thunder!" saldtheman, "I've left the boy at home t I'll go and get him. " and off he started for his house. London Tit-Hitt. All Tastes Suited. Waiter The custo. merl'swaitln' on says the brandy sauce doan taste like It had any brandy In. Cook Who Is he? "Doan know. Western man." ' 'Bring the sauce back and chuck In a little sul phuric acid and kerosene oil." Philadelphia Ktcorii. PE0DIQIES AND FKEAK3. William H. Bacon, of Ocala, Fla., has an orange grove two or three miles back of the town that yields H barrels of tomatoes to the acre every year. There Is a horse In Connecticut with eight legs that can walk twice as slow as any other horse In the State. Otto Von Heffenburg, of Berlin, Is the latest rival to Hoffman, lie is said to be able to play the Chopin funeralmarch with his thumb. The most unique specimen of a freak that has yet come to our notice Is little Henry Williams, of Norfolk. Vs., who though now S years old, has never yet doneanythlng that his father could brag about. Henry Barkins has been a baggageman on the Central for 40 years and has never yet smashed over five trunks In a single day. Robert Wllklns,of Easthampton has a pet whale that follows him about wherever ho goes. Jins XqtK Evening Sun, i - r