Pittsburg dispatch. (Pittsburg [Pa.]) 1880-1923, January 27, 1889, Page 4, Image 4

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VoL , No. 355. Entered at nttsbnnr Post.
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solicited manuscripts.
The German Consul at Samoa has a long
story to tell of the late unpleasantness in
those parts, the burden of which is that an
American journalist named Klein, at the
head of a party of "rebels," made all the
mischief. This may do to hold the atten
tion with until the facts are officially certi
fied. But it is not forgotten that German
methods in Samoa had been a subject of
complaint long before the recent episode;
and that those who are now termed "rebels"
are only so because of the foreign intrigue
and meddling in the local government,
which npsct the rightful ruler.
That German methods of extending co
lonial interests are fruitful ol broils and
agitation is shown by the difficulties at
Zanzibar, which are as grave as those at
Samoa. The constant irritation between the
British and German govcrnmentsoncolonial
matters proceeds from the same source.
The servants of arbitrary masters are
themselves likely to show their masters'
temper when away from the restraining eye.
That is, no doubt, about the sum of the trou
ble both at Zanzibar and Samoa.
Previous experiences of the difficulty of
getting a jury to try celebrated cases, seem
to be surpassed by the trouble which they
are having over the jury for the new Cleary
trial in New York. This naturally results,
not only from the fact that the case has
already attracted public attention by its
previous trial, but from the utterly irrecon
cilable positions taken with regard to the
qualifications of jurors. One side claims
that a juror who knows nothing about
a case of such notoriety is not fit to
try the case. The other side claims that a
juror -who does know anything about it,
whether his opinion could be changed by
evidence or not, shall not sit, and the Court
seems to indorse that position.
There is certainly much ground for the
claim that a juror who has formed no
opinion about a case of such public noto
riety, is in this age of progress fit for
lew functions outside of an idiot asylum.
But the old theories of law seem to have at
least some strength left when we learn that
a juror was rejected by the Court because he
said that he had an opinion that could be
changed by evidence.
If jurors who know about the case are in
eligible, and those who do not know about it
are likewise ineligible,it is likelythat the final
composition of the Cleary jury will be of
the fearful and wonderful kind, that can
surpass even a Pittsburg jury.
The renewal of the labor troubles in
Brooklyn and Buffalo is accompanied by
one or two features that call forth the old
warning to labor organizations that they
must not place themselves in antagonism to
the law. In Brooklyn it is reported that
the strikers have barricaded the streets and
assaulted non-union men who talked of go
ing to work. In Buffalo it is asserted on
behalf of the striking switchmen that they
will not send out trains themselves or allow
anyone else to send them out. Such a
position, no matter how just the object of
the strike may be, is not permissible, be
cause it defies the law and makes the men
committing such acts enemies of the whole
people. Kb class really needs to have the
laws respected and upheld more than the
working class, and when hotheads take il
legal steps the sober and conservative men
should be on the outlook to prevent or cor
rect such fatal errors.
To-day Monsieur Boulanger, the "brave
General," whose part in French politics has
not been without opera-bouffe suggestions,
makes the final throw of the dice. He
stakes his future on the suffrages of Parisian
voters. Paris is still France as much as
ever it was. Though Boulanger won sur
prising victories among the Northern
French constituencies last summer, it is
the voice of the capital which will make
him a virtual dictator, or relegate him to
an obscurity from which he can hardly again
General Boulanger is a candidate with
out any specific policy, unless the con
spicuous purpose of "turning the rascals
out" be accepted in such light. He is a
military figure; was picturesque when active
in the army and at the war department;
and has been loquacious ever since in
abusing the French statesmen who are run
sing the Government. This has reinforced
his personal following by the discontented
of all shades of politics, including largely
the royalists, the Bonapartists, the clericals,
and others who do not like President Carnot
or his Ministers.
A good many, probably the most numer
ous part, of those who support Boulanger
make light of his abilities, and follow his
standard, solely in the hope that if the re
public fall their own faction will come up
permost After his duel with Minister
Floqnet in July, when the old civilian
wounded and disarmed him, he was merci
lessly ridiculed, and it was thought his pub
lic career was ended. But the causes of his
success are other than in himself. The
possibilities pf his future were never more
threatening than to-day, as his election by
Parisian votes would almost surely mean a
change of government
The Parisian shop-keepers and trades
men are, however, a conservative class.
They will be slow to vote for Boulanger in
the dark as to the changes in store for them.
Also, the artisan and working classes, whose
support is counted upon by Boulanger, will
be apt to think twice before kicking over
the republic to make room for this or that
ambitious scion of royalty whose only claim
of fitness for ruling is that some of his an
cestors were in the King business, and failed
at it
But whatever the outcome, the voting in
Pans to-day will be watched with keen
interest the world over, as it is iclt that
with Boulanger's success a crisis would
come of grave import to the peace of Europe.
Prof. Brycc has written too kindly and
appreciatively of this country in his book,
"The American Commonwealth," to please
his countrymen in England. Of course he
told the truth when he remarked that Amer
icans are essentially a humorous people and
that they are the chief purveyors of humor
in this century; but one can easily under
stand tbat such statements of fact are un
palatable to a people who pin their faith to
the decayed ana effete clowning of PuncA.
Still it is a strange thing to find such an
intelligent and entertaining paper as the
London Globe hammering Prof. Bryce for
perceiving that humor is most at home to
day in America.
The Globe evidently is not disposed to
underestimate the importance of humor as a
national possession. In two columns it
undertakes to prove that Americans are not
humorous and that Englishmen un
doubtedly are. The Globe constructs a list
of representative English humorists, naming
the authors of "Vanity Fair," "Pickwick,"
"Essays of Elia," "Mrs. Caudle's Curtain
Lectures," "Alice in "Wonderland," "Vice
Versa," "Happy Thoughts," the "Bab Bal
lads," "The Jumblies," and asks who the
Americans have got to put against them.
Like a wise philosopher the Globe answers
its own question.
"Jokes are undoubtedly made in the
States as they are in other countries," the
Globe condescendingly admits. "Humor
there certainly is among that great and free
people mostly bad humor," and then our
cotemporary appends a list of American
humorists, which does not contain the names
of Lewis. Kobert Burdette, Bill 2Jye, and
seveial other noted writers in this category,
but does include Max Adeler and George
W. Peck. Taking such premises as these
the Globe naturally does not encounter as
great difficulty in demonstrating the superi
ority of English humorists as it would if all
the facts were stated.
But it does not need many words to de
stroy the effect of the Globe's comparisons.
Of the writers mentioned as England's
knights of humor, Thackeray, Dickens,
Charles Lamb and Douglas Jerrold are
dead and their works belong to a period
from thiity to sixty years ago. In the list
of American humorists only one is not still
contributing to the literature of the nation.
And this reminds us that what Professor
Bryce undoubtedly referred to when he
asserted the pre-eminence of American
humor, was the literature of the world in
this day.
Still we are willing to admit that the
contention of the Globe is in itself a pretty
specimen of British humor. In fact, we
consider it superior to the deadly "Happy
Thoughts" of F. C. Burnand, which the
Globe assures us is a representative product
of the English humorist.
There is a good deal of unneces
sary talk about the mystery of Stanley's
appearance and disappearance on the upper
Congo, which, accompanied as they are by
hints that there is some crookedness in his
connection with the English Government,
appears to be mainly the product of envious
imaginations. "What crookedness the ex
plorer could perpetrate to the advantage of
any government in the isolation of the Equa
torial Province, is not stated. If he did in
tend to secure some profit by bringing
Emin's stores of ivory to the Congo, it
would be no more than a legitimate reward
for the enterprise which fitted out his expe
dition and opened a hitherto unknown route
from the Congo to "Wadelai. If he should
accomplish the more improbable feat of
capturing Khartoum and opening up the
Nile, it would be an achievement which all
civilization should praise. Either of these
purposes is unlikely; but the condition
of things renders it foolish to talk of any
advantages which an explorer can secure by
his work, as "crookedness."
The fact is that Stanley's purpose is clear
and his record furnishes a lull answer to all
such talk. He went to to Wadelai to re
lieve Emin Bey, to supply him with stores
it his position there is tenable, and to bring
him away if it is not His return to the
Congo for the stores with which Bartclotte
was to have followed, and without Emin
Bey, shows that in their opinion, the foot
hold of civilization at "Wadelai could be
maintained. They may be mistaken; but
their judgment is better than that of those
who criticise them in the ease of European
and American offices.
The record of what Stanley has done is
also a clear answer to the hints of mysterious
and illicit purposes. He found Living
stone, explored the Nvanzas, discovered the
Congo, and founded the Free State for the
benefit of the whole world. Envious peo
ple have circulated discreditable talk during
his absence on other expeditions, as they do
now, but the world will remember what he
has done, as a firm ground lor confidence in
what he is doing.
It is suggested by the Buffalo Courier that
the Samoan Islands are not worth getting
into a dispute over, being only nine vol
canic islets, the biggest of which is but
twenty by forty miles in extent, with less
than 60,000 savage population and no trade
worth mentioning. This is quite true; and
it might be further remarked that if Samoa
was a continent as big as Australia, it
would not be worth a war to the United
States. "We do not want any foreign terri
tory at any price. But it may be worth
while for us to do some fighting to enforce
the rights of our citizens in foreign parts
and the respect due our flag. Our main in
terest at Samoa is a coaling station; but if
it were only a watering trough the principle
would be the same. "We do not need terri
tory; but we do want fair treatment from
other powers; and it is getting about time to
let them know it
In a very interesting article, from a spe
cial contributor, in this issue on some new
forus of building associations, the assertion
will be found that "in a certain sense,"
"the day laborer who buys a $500 building
lot In the suburbs, or the average toiler who
invests in a building association," are, like
the stock speculators or buyers of staples for
a rise, "speculators, playing their cards in a
more, or less intelligent fashion for an en
hancement of values."
The statement has, in the form in which it
is pat, sufficient foundation to establish its
truth; and yet it presents two widely separ
ate business methods as if they stood on the
same basis. If the laborer buys his lot sole
ly for the purpose of selling it again, when
real estate is on the boom, or the toiler in-
vests in a building association exclusively
with the object of unloading his shares
when they are at a premium, they are en
gaging in speculation of a more conserva
tive kind, perhaps, but still of the same es
sential character as the plunger in stocks
or grain. But in the vast majority of such
cases the expectation of enhancement is not
the only other chief motive. The laborer
buys the lot that he may improve it by
building on it, and enjoy the income from
the increased value he has given it by his
labor. The investor in a building associa
tion puts his money in for the legitimate
purpose of borrowing or lending money to
be used in like creations of actual value.
Throughout the whole field of legitimate
operations, the effort is to increase the value
of the staple handled. In speculation the
effort is to obtain the benefit of an increase
in value which comes with no effort on the
speculator's part.
The distinction is an important one; al
though it is not a vital point in the valuable
contribution to which we refer. But in
these days it is well worth while to make as
prominent as possible the essential differ
ence between the forms of business gambling
and the legitimate efforts of industry, fru
gality and enterprise to create new values
instead of waiting for others to create them.
The report that the New York authorities
have resolved to restrain the high-kicking
features of the French ball maybe expected
to evoke a protest against trenching on the
vested interests of terpsichorean intoxica
tion. Tiie surprise with which a verdict of
murder in the first degree in the Demmy
case is received may be principally based
on the slight ground for expectation that an
Allegheny county jury would ever find a
murderer guilty in a degree that would
hang him. It must be said that a good
many men have escaped hanging in this
county whose crime was more wanton than
that of yesterday's convict
Colon el Dudley's backwardness about
coming forward in those New York libel
suits is a floater that indicates that the tide
of affairs is not carrying that able poli
tician's fortunes into the sunlight of open
If the Grangers would urge a legislative
inquiry into the methods by which the rail
roads prevent the consumer from receiving
the full advantage from the increased meat
supply, they would accomplish more good
than they can by efforts to overcome the Na
tional Constitution and prevent the people
of this State from buying the products of
other States.
Busioes that Blaine will be in the Cabi
net are heard again. They maybe as valuable
as all their predecessors; but it is safe to pre
dict that if they are true it means that some
thing will be heard to drop in the vicinity
of Samoa. "
It is related from "Washington, that by
means of betting the cigars with Bepre
sentative O'Neill and others, the motion to
set apart a day for the Oklahoma bill, was
carried. The cigars paid in consideration
of the votes are alleged to cost two-for-a-quarter,
which is considerably more than
the value of the votes.
The Northwest is sending out another
blizzard for the benefit of the rest of the
country, and may have hopes of a little
real winter and something of an ice crop.
In view of the fact that an American
newspaper man is said to have given Ger
many its check in the process of gobbling
Samoa, it may yet become an object of news
paper ambition to organize a naval force
and take possession, just as a jourAlistio
beat on Bismarck.
The ambitious views of landlords with
regard to rentals for the next year will prob
ably stimulate the building boom more than
the owners' bank accounts.
Secretary "Whitney's deliverance on
the Samoan question conveys a very de
cided intimation to the effect that when the
State Department finds out what the policy
of the Government is the Navy Department
may be able to estimate what it has got
to do.
Balfoub appears to be on the point of
success in his great policy of consolidating
the Tory vote in England by driving Ireland
into open rebellion.
The railroad Presidents met again last
week and swore off from rate-cntting. They
are beating the ordinary January 1 swear'
ers-off this year, by starting in with prom
ises to reform, and keeping right along
making new promises every week ia the
The decided policy of Bismarok with re
gard to Samoa is balanced by the decided
lack of policy on the part of the United
States Government
The promise of a leading anthracite coal
company that it will graciously take into
consideration the novel idea of charging the
miners something less than two prices for
the powder used in the mines is a fresh evi
dence that the world does occasionally more.
Joseph Chamberlain says that the home
rule question is losing its importance. Perhaps
he will not think so after he has been married
At a dinner givenln Washington last week
by Senator Stanford to 16 of his intimate
friends, the guests were served with hothouse
strawberries which cost S3 a dozen.
Lord Sackvtlle, who is now at Cannes,
will soon issue a manifesto on French politics.
There are those who sy he is just the man to
succeed Prince Ferdinand as ruler of Bulgaria.
Sib Arthur Sullivan, when a choir boy
of the Chapel Royal, composed an antbem, and
it so pleased the Bishop of London that he gave
the little author a half sovereign. This coin,
it is said, Mr. Sullivan wears around his neck
as a talisman while composing, till this day.
The Secretary of the Economic Association
of America, Prof. B. T. Ely. of Baltimore, Md.,
is in receipt of $100 from Mrs. Amelie Rlves
Chanler. a sum which she obtained for two son
nets. The money is to be offered as a prize for
tbe best essay, not exceeding 25,000 words, on
child labor.
Isaac Holden, member of Parliament for
one of the Yorkshire divisions, who was a poor
schoolmaster in his youth, is now ranked as the
wealthiest man in the Commons. His income
from patent rights for inventions by which he
revolutionized wool carding, together with his
mill interests, is placed at Jl.000,000 a year.
The United S ates Senate is to have a new
Apollo. His name is James McMillan, and he
will succeed Thomas W. Palmer, of Michigan.
Mr. McMillan is tall and slender, hascurly gray
hair and impressive mustache and goatee. His
eyes are bright but their effect is somewhat
modified by spectacles. He is very particular
about bis dress, and is something of an Anglo
maniac as regards his attire. SenatorHiscock,
who considers himself the most presentable
man in the Senate, will find in McMillan a foe
man worthy of his imposing beauty.
The Two Sides of tbe rsnmoon Question.
From the Philadelphia Times.
There are two sides to every question. When
Bismarck is interested both sides are Bismarck's.
Oor legislators Are Improving Slntton as
n Poison A Waiter's Trick and a Dog's
"The best-posted authorities assure me, and
my own eyes confirm the conclusion, that the
members of the Legislature now sitting at
Harrisburg are more of a temperance crowd
than usual," said a legislator to me yesterday.
"Russ" business falling off T" I asked.
"No, hardly. There aro enough drinkers in
the Lezislature and among the lobbyists and
hangers on, to say nothing of the H&rrisburg
contingent of native talent to keep up a very
fair sized demand for the liquids tbat do in
toxicate. A few of the younger members, new
to Harrisburg, ought to have a care how tbey
proceed in putting down the whisky of High
Spire, but they will learn wisdom as they grow
older in tne service of the State."
Taking this and other facts which I learned
from the same authority, the Legislature, as far
as the personal behavior of its members is con
cerned, is an improvement on most of its pre
decessors. V
"Ose of my patients," said a Pittsburg phy
sician to me yesterday, "puzzles mo consider'
ably. Every now and then be comes to me, or
sends for me, and exhibits a very sorry con
dition of health. Upon inquiry I always find
that he has been seized with acute nausea and
with violent symptoms of poisoning, immedi
ately after eating mutton in some sbape. At
first I was loth to believe that the mutton was
the real cause, but after a thorough investiga
tion of all the circumstances I have been forced
to conclude that the flesh of the sheep acts
upon this man's system as 'poison. My patient
himself has come to a similar conclusion, and
although ho likes mutton, he has promised me
not to touch it again. The last time he ate
some mutton chops he was in a really critical
condition for several hours after the meal."
"Veal is poisonous to somo people, isn't it
"Yes to many, and I might almost say to
moat people," the doctor replied, "and I con
stantly find men and oftener women who per
sist in eating veal although they know tbey
will surely suffer for it"
I know a man who, if he desired to commit
suicide in a discreet and retiring way, could
achieve his object by eating say half a dozen
buckwheat cakes. He is aware of his peril,
however, in this direction, as even the odor of
buckwheat cakes is sufficient to compel him to
leave the breakfast table.
In a restaurant which enjoys the patronage
of many notable Pittsburgers I noticed a neat
trick played by a waiter yesterday. A certain
wealthy financier who takes his frugal lnnch
at this establishment has kept up his reputa
tion for looking sharply after the pennies by
never, on any occasion, tipping a waiter. The
waiters have observed this, and do not thrust
their services upon the great man.
Yesterday when this individual came into the
dining room he approached a table near me,
and the waiter who was hovering near, quietly
stepped forward and tipped up all the chairs
which signified that the table was engaged.
The great man elevated his brows, but he had
to move to another part of the room. Then
the waiter, as quietly as before, set down all
the chairs again.
Many years ago a distinguished woman in
this community, who happily still lives to grace
it, playfully agreed with a friend of hers of the
opposite sex to rest upon the conresslon of the
lapse of 40 years of her life if he would do the
same. This was 0 years ago. Since then reg
ularly as ber birthday has come around the
gentleman, whose birthday was on the same
day, has called upon her and they have ex
changed congratulations.
"When this natal day was colebrated recently
she said: "David, are we not getting rather old
to acknowledge but 40 years I"
"Yes," he confessed, mournfully shaking a
head touched with the silver rime of GO years,
"I think we are."
"Let us increase the record, then."
"Certainly. How old shall we admit our
selves to be?"
"Well let us make it 411"
And all of yon would join me, I know, if you
knew ber, in hoping that the record may stand
at 41 till another score of years has gone by.
Hebe is another tribute to the sagacity or
reasoning powers of our canine friends.
A newspaper man, of this city, has just had a
system of electric bells put In his house, more
particularly for the purpose of making com
munication between his bedroom and the lower
regions of his abode, of course easy. Being a
night worker, he finds it convenient to be able to
announce to bis wife his awakening at midday.
He owns an obese, but intelligent and loving
poodle, who will be taxed 2 for being, as our
Harrisburg correspondent put it the other day,
"a lady." She was present when the wires for
the electric bells were put up, and appeared to
take considerable interest in the operation.
Two days after the bells had been Bet up the
editor awoke at noon and rang what he calls the
"breakfast alarm."' His wife happened to be
out of the house at the time, but the bell had
hardly ceased ringing when Flossie, the poodle,
was heard upon the stairs. She ran up without
a moment's hesitation and bounded Into the
master's room where she never goes when he
is asleep and saluted him with a round of
cheery barks. Hepburn Johns.
Tbe Formal Certlficnte Was Not Daly
Signed the First Time.
Montgoiiert, Ala., January 26. F. C.
Meredith, the messenger selected to take Ala
bama's electoral vote to Washington, returned
this morning. Mr. Ingalls, President pro tern
of the Senate, received the certificate from
him, but declined to receipt for it because he
did not have a certificate of his appointment
as messenger, though in the certificate received
by him, it was stated that Mr. Meredith was
tbe messenger.
Mr. Meredith telegraphed Governor Seay,
and the electors were summoned to Montgom
ery this morning. They met and signed an ad
ditional certificate that Mr, Meredith had been
chosen messenger, and he left for Washington
again at noon to-day.
The Cry of Fire Causes Some Wild and Ex
citing Scenes.
8t. Louis, January 26. A score of wild ex
citement occurred at tbe Olympic Theater this
afternoon. Near the end of the first act of the
opera "Erminie" a small fire was noticed, and
all at once the great audience became panic
stricken. Then some one cried "fire," and for
a time it looked as though there must be loss
of life, as the audience was composed princi
pally of ladles and cbildren.
Women fainted, others went into hysterics
and it was with great difficulty that the few
men present restored order. No casualties are
Difference of Opinion as to the Term of
Hnrrlsbnrg's Executive.
Special Telegram to the Dispatch.
Harrisburg, January 26 Tho Harrisburg
Republican City Executive Committee to-night
decided to hold their convention to nominate a
candidato for Mayor on the 11th of next month.
Mayor Fntchey, Democrat who was chosen
nearly two years ago by a large majority, claims
tbat he was elected for four years, but the Re
publicans hold that he cannot legally serve
more than two years. Tbe Democrats have
not yet determined their line of action.
There Stands a City.
From the New Haven News. 1
Like to a city of tbe dead.
As noiseless and as still,
Upon the banks of Delaware
Stands Wanamakerville.
As Keely's motor never motes,
So never runs the thrill
Of busy life alone the streets
Of Wanamakerville.
The machinery Out of Date.
From the Mew York 'World.!
The Presldental election does not seem to be
over.after all. The messengers bearing the electoral-vote
certificates of several States have
not yet arrived in Washington, and if they do
not put in an appearance by Monday some curi
ous complications may arise. All of which
shows up the ridiculousness of the cumber
some old machinery of the Electoral College.
Dissipation In Iowa.
From the Chicago News.l
A 70-year-old Iowa man broke both his legs
while tobogganing. People in prohibition
States frequently become addicted to very odd I
kinds of dissipation. J
The Man Who Deposited Gold Washings
Long Ago Satisfactorily Identified.
Special Telegram to the Dispatch.
Wheeling, January 28. Mr. Alexander
Squires, who has been so much talked about in
the Eastern papers, will get bis $2,201 in gold.
He came from Philadelphia to Wheeling,
readily found the one man, Henry Jackson
Wade, who could identify bim after the lapse
of 23 years, and will go back to the United
States mint in triumph and reclaim the deposit
ol gold washings he left there In 183a.
Mr. Wade has lived In Wheeling since 1838,
and worked with Squires in the city at the
Cooper trade until the discovery of gold in Cal
ifornia, when Squires went there to seek his
fortune. Mr. Wade identified Squlre3 at once,
although he bad not seen him since 1855, when
he stopped here on his way from Philadelphia
to California and told him he bad left somo
gold at the mint and showed him the) certifi
cate which Is now ineligible from age. The
books of the mint, it will be remembered, show
that such a deposit was made by Alexander
Squires; but as the certificate could not bo
read the authorities at the mint required tbat
the claimant should be identified. The claim
ant of the gold and bis old friend went before
United States Commissioner Forbes, and Mr.
Wade made affidavits to tho statements quoted
above, and others, that leave no possible doubt
or Squires' identity.
The Government demands. Id addition to this
testimony, that Squires shall give an indemni
fying bond to rover the amount if another
claimant should establish his right to the
amount hereafter. He can readily do this, as
he is well fixed financially. When Mr. Squires
learned that he would have to be identified be
fore he could recover the money, he came right
to Wheeling to hunt up his old friend Wade.
He learned where he lived, and, knocking at
the door of 62 Zane street, was answered by
Mr. Wade himself. Turning bis face aside to
avoid the light Squires asked: "Docs a man
named Wade live here?" "Ah, you old coon."
was Wade's response, "you can't fool me;
you're Alex Squires."
Western Rnllronds Think They Have the
Matter All Arranged.
Chicago, January 26. The general man
agers and general passenger agents of the
Western, Northwestern and Southwestern rail
roads have agreed on a plan which. If they live
up to, will make It impossible for the ticket
brokers to do any business to speak of. It was
perfected at a meeting held here to-day, at
which 20 of the 21 roads in interest were repre
sented. The one unrepresented, the Chicago,
Burlington and Northern, is known to be in
accord with the agreement
A new form of mileage tickets was (adopted
and unused portions of round trip or through
tickets will be redeemable at railroad ticket
offices. The mlleaee tickets adopted lacks but
little of a photograph of the buyer. Height,
weight age, color of hair and eyes, beard and
any peculiarities are plainly marked in the
book. The buyer must sign his name in the
presence of the agent and every time he uses
the mileage book be must duplicate his signa
ture for the benefit of the conductor. Should
he not be able to do so, or should he have
changed the out of his beard or perchance
dyed it, he must pay his fare and lose his book.
The provision relative to the cashing of un
used portions of the ticket does away finally
with any chance for what is called legitimate
scalping. Should a passenger buy a ticket
from New York to Kansas city and conclude
not to go further than Chicago, he can, without
going out of the depot cash the unused part of
his ticket at its full value. Hitherto the pas
senger has been compelled to sell the unused
portion of his ticket for what a scalper was
willing to give.
a Story of a Thrilling Experience on
the Ocean.
Special Telegram to the Dispatch.
Washington, January 26. Two young men,
A. E. Brown and George Dillon, arrived in the
city this morning, after a thrilling experience
on the ocean. They left Baltimore several days
ago on the steamer Erin for Jamaica, were
wrecked off Cape Hatteras. and came on to
Washington to take the cars for Tampa, Fla.,
to continue their journey from that point by
steamer. They tell the following story of their
We arrived off Cape Hatteras about dark on
Saturday, when something was found out of
order with the machinery. We anchored, but
on Sunday cot under way again. During the
day the second mate fell overboard while try
ing to hoist the ensign. The flag staff went
with bim. It was over an hour before we
Sicked bim up nearly dead from exposure,
nnday night during a heavy storm the pro
peller shaft broke, and in a little time the
water came pouring in tbrongh the shaft hole.
The pumps were manned, but the steamer
filled rapidly. Several vessels passed us, but
were unable to render assistance. About noon
Monday the steamer Liscard, Captain Thomas
uyrne, unariesion to rsremen, sighted our
distress signal, bore down and we took to the
boats and with great difficulty got on board
her. There was eight feet of water in her hold
then, and probably the Erin did not last much
longer. It was a narrow escape tor us. The
Liscard took us into Newport News, and we
came here. Our baggage was rescued, con
siderably worse for water.
Extremes Meet
Evan Qwynne, a Welshman and a plumber,
who had become discouraged by bad business,
committed suicide by hanging himself by a
hook in the ceiling of his shop at Hudson and
Canal streets last night Evening World.
Henry Hlbbertson, an ice man, whe runs four
wagons on the product of his ponds near
Flushing, Long Island, celebrated the wedding
of his daughter with Mr. Georgo Martin, tbe
manager of his business, yesterday by present
ing the happy pair witb a handsome residence
in Brooklyn and 820,000 in New York City
bonds. Mrs. Martin, who is an only child, will
he heiress to over 500,000. The Star.
Discordant Knights of Lnbor.
Special Teleeram to the Dispatch.
Harrisburg. January 26. Tho Harrisburg
Knights of Labor disapprove of the project to
have a committee before tho Legislature to
look after the interests of the laboring men,
and consequently they will have no representa
tives at the convention of Knights to be held
tnis ween.
Have you heard of Colonel Crcesns? Whatl you
haven't? Gaze on high.
Do yon see tbat comet blazing in the vast financial
Note its size and note Its splendor, and the glory
of its tail
By its side all stars and planets stop their twinkle
and turn pale.
There are people still in Asia who bow down
before the sun,
And the moon of many races has ere now their
homage won;
But tbe idol of the moment Is the comet of the
It's to blazing Colonel Crresus tbat no end of peo
ple pray.
When his housemaid In the morning goes to shake
the mat outside.
There are crowds of people waiting, and the mob
spreads far and wide;
They are waiting for the Colonel, and they jostle,
push and try
To get near enough to touch him or to catch his
Statesman, poet author, actor, artist merchant
and divine.
All in humble adoration come to worship at hl
And their cheeks are flushed with gladness, and
there's triumph In their eyes.
If he gives them an allotment In his latest enter
prise. He's a heart beneath the waistcoat that enfolds
his spacious chest.
And a hand tbat scatters bounty north and south
and east and west;
No one asks in vain a favor in his easy-going
way -Q
He will scatter golden chances 'mong the sup-
pllant3 every day.
Here's health to Colonel Croesus bluff, big
hearted millionaire
Who's content his princely fortune with his fol
lowers to share.
lint he must be getting tired of the crowds that
daily come,
Greedy Lazaruses waiting at his table for a
He has given them High KIckeys and Alpacas,
and the rest.
And has told them when in Dayrates they with
profit can Invest.
He has flung the crowd bis favors, and has loaded
all his friends,
And they now might leave him quiet Just to make
some slight amends.
To be pestered and surrounded, morning, after
noon and night
May not seem to Colonel Crcesns a perpetual de
light; And I shouldn't be astonished If one morning he
should say,
"O, here hang it you're a nuisance! Do, con
found you, go awayl"
O. JZ. Sims in London Seferte.
The American Flag In tbe Halls of tbe
IegisIatare A Law to Blake Veterans
Happy Ventilation Needed and Commit
tee Booms Wanted Trying to Find
Matthew Stanley Qony.
Harrisburg, January 28. When the Junior
Order of United American Mechanics per
mitted themselves to become angered by lan
guage ascribed to Captain Dravo. they laid tbe
foundation for a great deal of political rancor
and other things too numerous to mention. The
House has permitted itself to become all stirred
up and to take sides with the members from
Beaver. The Junior Order is inpollticsfor the
time at least and promises to make
itself a closer acquaintance, if not a
friend, of the majority of tho members.
The differences between the Beaver county
members on the subject have been touched on
in their various lights and shades by the active
gentlemen of the press, nntil tho subject is a
familiar one, if not perfectly clear to all. Can-
tain Brown's bill was framed by the American
Mechanics after tney had read tbe interview
with Captain Dravo and was introduced at
their request It has passed second reading
and from the fact tbat Captain Dravo's bill was
killed on second reading it has been supposed
Captain Brown's bill would meet the same fate
on third reading. Bat it may be given another
life after all, if latest reports are credited, and
sent to the dignified Senators, to be dealt with
by them in their usual cool and unimpassioned
The veterans' bill Is yet to come up for third
reading and final passage, and many who would
like to vote against it do not dare to do so. This
bill fixes a fine not' to exceed 500 and im
prisonment not to exceed six months as tbe ex-
treme penalty to be suffered by any State
official who does not give a veteran preference
for employment above all other applicants.
The gentlemen who have visited Harrisburg in
tbo interest of the veterans say they want this
or nothing, unless it is something more. They
would accept for instance, an amendment to
the bill extending its application to the officials
of all cities as well as State officials. Between
Uncle Sam's pensions and the State's kindness
in this line, if the bill should become a law, the
old soldier's lot will not be so deplorable as it
might be. The professional soldier, who fights
tbe war over with bis vocal organs, will cer
tally not suffor if the measure passes.
Another measure of interest to the survi
vors of the late unpleasantness is the one affix
ing penalties for the use of tbe various buttons
and badges of tbe G. A. It.. Loyal Legion and
Union Veterans' Association by those who are
not entitled by the rules of these organizations
to assume them. As originally presented the
bill did not include the last named organiza
tion, but its friends were quick to note the
omission, and had it fixed before the bill left
the committee room. This is one of the meas
ures that meets with no opposition on any
What the House of Representatives at Har
risburg needs as much as anything else is
ventilation. The Housa side of the capitol is
not as much for style as the gorgeous Senator
ial chamber, and there are more people in it
breathing the atmosphere, which Alters in all
too slowly and escapes in tbe same way. This
is why the Representatives suffer from colds
and kindred Ills, and probably lets in light on
the question of why it is necessary to make
things livelier in the lower branch of the Leg
islature if business is to be done with a quorum.
If the house is deficient in ventilation it is
not less so in committee rooms and many other
things that would add to the comfort and con
venience of the members. The Judiciary Gen
eral Committee meets In a corner of the Public
Library, where Its privacy is very much im
posed upon and its deliberations necessarily
interrupted in a variety of ways, all annoying
and not all of an interesting character. The
City Passenger Railway Committee is forced to
wait in patience, while the Committee on
Banking considers weighty matters in the pri
vate office of the Chief Clerk. Other commit
tees have similar experiences and the public
business is thereby not facilitated to an alarm
ing extent These things argue strongly in
favor of calling a halt on the rapidly growing
sinking fund and putting some money into new
capitol buildings. They are needed, not so
much for style as for use.
Senator Quay's counterpart, save that he
boasts a little more physical weight, is Mr.
Lytle, the member from Huntingdon. It is
said that he has frequently been accosted for
Quay by people who are not on sufficiently inti
mate terms with the junior Senatorfrom Penn
sylvania to be thoroughly acquainted with his
personal appearance and characteristics.
Fame, it seems, is not to have your address
known by cabmen. A member of the Legisla
ture was missing from his seat In the House for
a couple of days before Senator Quay left
Washington for Florida. The Keystone legis
lator bad gone to the national capital to confer
with Mr. Quay before his departure, and on
arriving at the depot called a cabman and
asked to be driven to the Senator's residence,
naturally supposing tbat the rnsh of visitors to
the influential National Chairman had made
his street and nuraDor one of the things the
backmen of Washington drove to by day and
dreamed of by night Bnt such proved not to
be the case, and diligent inquiry was necessary
to locate the home of one of the biggest men of
the nation.
The American flag excitoment of the week
called to the mind of ex-Speaker Graham the
joy he experienced while once sojourning in
Italy on unexpectedly beholding after several
months absence from home, tbe colors of his
native land displayed on a vessel in an Adriatic
"My eyes filled with tears," be said, "and I
involuntarily exclaimed: God bless the Amer
ican flagl"
'1 have had a similar experience," remarked
Chairman Dearden, of the Appropriations
Committee. "It does one good to see the old
banner when far from home." Simpson.
Uneasy Spirits Greatly Annoy tbe Family of
na Ohio Farmer.
Mtllersburg, O., January 20. Tho neigh
borhood about Sharp's mill, in Killbuck town
ship, am somewhat disturbed over spiritual
manifestations that are reported to be going
on almost nightly in a dwelling occupied by
Ransom Shilts and family. The site of tbe
present dwelling was occupied about 12 years
ago by a small log house, in which a man named
Heilman, an honest, hard-working German, his
wife and six or seven children resided. In all
such cases of supposed spirit visitations there
is connected a supposed origin, and this one is
no exception, and this supposed origin is the
fact that in the fall of 1877, after Mr. Heilman
threshed bis grain, in the absence of a granary
be stored his wheat and oats upstairs in his log-
UUIUC, uuctUj uici bUD luuiu nuciD uo A11U Ills
wife and three of his children slept
One night shortly after storing tbe grain and
they were sleeping, the logs in tbe house spread
apart by the weight and pressure of the heavy
load, letting the joists, floor and all the grain
down on the sleepers, almost instantly killing
the wife and the three children. Mr. Heilman
escaping with some bruises. Mrs. Shilts, the
wife of the man now owning tbe farm, says she
hears nearly every night soft footsteps, as that
oi a woman witnout snoes on, going to ana iro
through the house as if hunting for something,
or some one, and then will follow a slamming
and banging ol doors. Mr. Shilts also Bays he
hears tbe noise, and all efforts to learn the
cause have been unavailing. The matter is the
talk of the neighborhood, and further investi
gation will be made in order to solve the mys
tery which so annoys the family. Mrs. Shilts
will not stay alone in the house, especially at
night and is living in abject fear.
What Are Oar Relations With England?
From the New York World.!
Our relations with England seem to be some
what mixed at present. Tbe Samoan affair
has placed the United States and Great Britain
close together in opposition to Germany, while
Lord Salisbury and Minister Phelps are main
taining a status belli having its origin in the
Lord Sackville incident Are we enemies of
England or allies? Did Ben Blade's barn burn
up or burn down? Won't somebody please
answer these timely questions?
Whnt a meeting That Will Be.
From tbe Philadelphia lialletln.1
Now that onr mild-tempered and peace-loving
Secietary of State is in danger of coming
into diplomatic collision with tbe bluff and
burly Chancellor of Germany, the effect will
not be unlike tbat of a grizzly bear in contact
with a chipmunk.
The Crusade Against Battles.
New York, January 26. Many well-known
women in the city are now issuing their mani
festoes against the bustle. Several of them
take great pains to prove that they objected to
bustles long before Mrs. Cleveland said any
thing on the subject Mrs. Ella Wheeler Wil
cox says she discarded tbcbustle long before
Mrs. Cleveland. Cella Logan thinks she gave
Mrs. Cleveland ber first idea of abolishing
bustles, when she went bustleleis to a recep
tion at the White House, twoTears aco. Belva
Lockwood has always considered bustles "dress
distorters," and Lillie Deveraux. Blake has dis
liked them ever since she put on long dresses,
years and years ago. Kate Field says: "The
bustle is an invention of the devil." While
showing ber dresses to a friend a few days ago.
Mrs. Brown Potter said: "If you can find a
dresspad or a spring or a steel tucked away in
any one of them I will give you the whole
wardrobe. Flat? Of course tbey are flat
Aren't we born so? No, not quite flat The
back, if one has a good back, has a lovely con
tour, and it's that one wants to display, not . in
artificial back of cotton, wool and sawdust.
The bustle is a barbarism." Though opposed
to big bustles, Mrs. Frank Leslie likes.a "very
little one." She says: "A well-formed woman
can hardly dispense with a little fullness at tbe
back of ber gown. I can't agree with Mrs.
Potter. She says ber form is so perfect that
she doesn't need a bustle. Now, if she don't
need one, that is proof on the face or the
back of it that ber form is not good at all."
Mrs. Langtry regards bustles as "hideously un
graceful," and Mary Anderson speaks of them
as "essentially unartlstic" Fanny Davenport
also declares that the bustle must go.
Wouldn't Die to Please Them.
Colonel David B. Churchill, a jeweler of
means, has suffered from heart disease for sev
eral years. Three times in the last year he has
been quite near to death. A week ago he fell
ill again, andhis doctors told him he was done
for. He was persuaded to make his will and
call a minister. Then he began to sink rapidly.
Mrs. Churchill hastily summoned his relatives
from tbe South and West, and began arrang.
ing for the funeral. When Colonel Churchill
heard of this and saw all his relatives about the
bouse, he became furious. He swore horribly,
dismissed bis minister, and declared they all
wanted to get him out of the way. He told tbe
doctors he had grit enough to get well, just to
spite them all. He is doing it He is almost
as well as ever.
A Narrow Escape.
A crowded tenement house downtown caught
fire at 1 o'clock this morning. The flames were
already well up the stairway before the tene
ments were alarmed. Six families, with 15
children, struggled down to the street through
the smoke and fire. Three little boys shinned
down the fire escape from the third story. No
one was injured.
Settling tbe Whys Gang.
Thomas Power and "Kid" Carbonson. mem
bers of the notorious Whyo gang, knocked in
the glass front of a jeweler's shop yesterday,
and stole 85.000 worth of trinkets. The cuts in
their bands betrayed them to the police to-day.
After a sharp tussle three policemen locked
them np. Their imprisonment will probably
put an end to the depredations of tbe Wbyos.
who have long been the terror of the East Side.
Six Wbyos are now in the penitentiary, one of
them doing a life sentence for murder.
That Reflects Credit on the Poshing, Boom
ing City Where It Is Published.
From the 1'ottsvillc Miners' Journal. J
The Pittsburg Dispatch Is a newspaper
which reflects credit upon the pushing, plucky,
booming city where it is published, and one
which would be a worthy representative of any
one of the largest cities of the country. In
makeup, appearance, and the character and
quality of its contents it is more metropolitan
than a majority of the papers of New York,
Philadelphia or Chicago, while it Is questiona
ble whether any other city in the country of the
magnitude of Pittsburg boasts so perfect a
modern newspaper. The circulation of The
Dispatch is extensive and steadily increas
ing, that of the daily surpassing the issue of
any other paper in Western Pennsylvania,
Eastern Ohio or West Virginia, while its Sun
day issue approximates an average of 45,000
copies. The publishers of The Dispatch are
constantly adopting new features to enhance
its interest, and arrangements have been made
for the introduction of a variety of attractive
specialties for 1S89. While the city depart
ment of The Dispatch Is one of its strongest
features, it Is by no means to be classed as a
merely local paper, but with Its full telegraphic
reports, interesting special correspondence
from Washington, New York and other cen
ters of life and business, and able editorial de
partment, it becomes a complete newspaper,
adapted to the Information and edification of
the general reader in any part of the country.
The American Gold Beaters Will Exclude
All Foreign Competition.
London, January 26. The circular issued
by the New York Goldbeaters' Union continues
to engage the attention of tho London Trades
Council. The secretary of the council has
been authorized to send a communication to
the New York union setting forth that their
action in imposing an initiation fee of $100
upon foreign goldbeaters would obstruct
fraternization among the worklngmen of the
world. In vie w of this they will ask the Ameri
can union to reconsider the grave step which
they have proposed to take.
A New "i ork dispatch says: In relation to
the circular issued by the Goldbeaters' Union
of New York, Mr. Alexander McQueen, the
President of the Union, said the only provision
of the circular was that it imposed an initia
tion fee of 8100 upon all foreign workmen who
wished to enter the union. He said this would
have the effect of excluding all foreign gold
beaters from the country.
Deas Swift Is credited with "Bread Is
staff of life."
It was Keats said: "A thing of beauty Is a
joy forever."
"Man proposes, but God disposes" remarked
Thomas A. Kempis.
Franklin is authority for "God helps those
who help themselves."
It was an observation of Thomas Southern
that "Pity's akin to love."
"All cry and no wool" Is an expression
found in Butler's "Hudibras."
We are indebted to Colley Cibber, not to
Shakespeare, for "Richard ts himself again."
Edward Coke, the English jurist was of
the opinion that "A man's house is his castle."
"When Greek joins Greek then was tho tug
of war," was written by Nathaniel Lee in 1602.
Edward Young tells us "Death loves a
shining mark" and "A fool at 40 is a fool In
deed." "Variety's the spice of life" and "Not
much the v;orse for wear," wero coined by
Charles Pincknet gave the patriotic sen
timent "Millions for defense, but not one cent
for tribute."
Or two evils I have chosen tbe least" and
"The end must justify the means" are from
Matthew Prior.
To Milton we owe "The paradise of fools,'
"A wilderness of sweets," and "Moping melan
choly and moonstruck madness."
The poet Campbell found tbat "Coming
events cast their shadows before" and "'Tis
distance lends enchantment to the view."
Christopher Marlowe gave forth tbe in
vitation so often repeated by his brothers in a
less public way: "Lore me. little, love me
To Dr. Johnson belongs "A good hater," and
to Macintosh, in 1701, the phrase, often at
tributed to John Randolph: "Wise and mas
terly inactivity."
Thomas Tasseb, a writer of the sixteenth
century, said: "It's an HI wind turns no good,"
"Better late than never," "Look ere thou leap,"
and "The stone that is rolling can gather no
"First in war, first in peace, and first in the
hearts of his fellow-citizens" (not his country
men), appeared in tbe resolutions presented to
the House of Representatives in December,
1799, by General Henry Lee.
Not a single baby has been born in Lib
erty, Kt., for 13 years. Liberty has a popula
tion of TOOL
The fires in London last year averaged
about five a day a material decrease compared
with 1837.
Fresh water always freezes at the sur
face first. Sea water during calm weather be
gins to freeze at some point beneath the sur
face. Rhubarb came from China about 1573,
and when introduced into England was called
"patience." Turnip leaves wero first eaten as
a salad.
A deformed "newsboy," who died in St
Louis the other day, left money and securities!
amounting to 223,000. He was 38, and had sold
papers for 25 years.
A colored woman testified at a trial in
Stanford.Ky., "that she would have been killed
had she not seen the bullet which was coming
straight at her, and dodged it"
A fool California man wrapped up
enough S20 gold pieces to make a package ot
$1,000 and sent them through the mail unregis
tered. And just because they got lost on tho
way he is raisine a great disturbance.
A couple or lads the other day dived
from the schoolship St. Mary's Into the Hud
son, and then indulged in a swim. The water
was ice coiu, out tne boys didn't mind thatand,
on emerging, said they "felt like flghtmg
A mule owned in Jersey City per
formed tbe remarkable feat recently, of walk
ing across a railroad bridge which spans tho
Hackensack river. The bridge is trestle-work,
with a space of about four inches between
each tie.
At the festivities attending the Emperor
of China's marriage next year will be employed
40.000 horn lanterns, 12.000 glass lamps and
21.000 pieces of embroidered silks, and skilled
artificers are now hard at work manufacturing
these articles.
A New Year custom in France, which
falls heavily upon young unmarried men of
limited income, is tbat which obliges them to
send a bonbonmere to every lady in whose
houso they have received entertainment dur
ing the old year that Is just dead.
In a recent legal action it transpired in
evidence that the inventor of the metal plates
used to protect soles and heels of boots from
wear sold upward of 12,000,000 plates in 1879,
and In 1837 the number reached 113,000,000, pro
ducing realized profits of $230,000.
Paris eats a vast quantity of snails.
Every day 90,000 pounds are sent to the city
from tbe gardens of Burgundy, Champagne,
Provence and Poitoaj where tbey are specially
reared for this purpose. Tbey are not only
eaten as a delicacy.but also on account of their
highly nutritious qualities.
A "cheeky" thief has been discovered
in Lima, O. He is a boy, too, and after robbing
a shoe store returned wi:h some of tbe booty
and endeavored to effect an exchange for a
pair of shoes that would fit him. It eked out
tbat he had stole tbe goods, and the proprietor
had him and two youthful pals arrested.
A rnde stone cist has been exhumed in
Orpblr, Kirkwall, inside of which was found a,
textile garment supposed to be woollen, also an
amber bead and the nucleus of a glass one.
This is believed to be the first cist found in
Scotland witb a textile garment supposed to
be for covering the body, and tbe beads for or
namenting tbe covering. This bunal place is
thought to be anterior to the Norse invasion,
about the eighth or ninth century.
A rich find almost 53,000 in gold, bank
notes and silver was made in a bag of oats by
a storekeeper of Brentwood, England. He re
turned the treasure to the poor farmer from
whom be bought the oats, and was rewarded
with a bushel of grain and tbe promise of a
rabbit. The soil tiller's mother (she died a few
months ago) was a miser and is thought to
have made a hiding place of tbe bag. which
had long been stored in her son's granary.
At Columbus, Ga., one of the postofnea
officials closed the door to tbe new vault a
few nights ago and forgot to turn off the gas.
When the door to tbe vault was opened the
next morning the smell of gas was so strong
tbat he could not enter the vault for somo
time. After waiting -about two hours he en
tered the vault and struck a match. The air,
being charged with gas, instantly Ignited, sing
ing tbe official's hair and beard andfrightemng
him out of bis wits. The death of tbe flash
was as instantaneous as its birth and the
worthy official was left to shudder at his nar
row escape.
When the tall chimney for tbe Sbawmut
Fibre Company in Fairfield, Me., was completed
a short time ago, the contractor conceived the
brilliant idea of floating a bandana from tbo
topmost brick. Now the resident owners
of tho mill were equally divided on the ban
dana business, so on a vote of censure the con
tractor knew there would be a tie. Tbe ban
dana was an unsightlyred rag to half the mem
bers of the firm but a thing of beauty to tho
other half. Last week's high wind loosened
the brick which held the bandana staff and the
safety of the chimney was threatened. The
contractor was notified and hewasoblized to
build a ladder 1C0 feet in length in the inside of
the chimney and go up and haul down his col
ors, and repair damages.
Quite a number of people have been
excited into a promiscuous digging for buried
treasure, two miles east of Dalton, Ga. A
railroad man was entrusted with a letter from
a sick Louisiana soldier during the war, which,
in case of his death, was to be forwarded to a
certain address. Tbe Federal occupancy of
this section delayed the sending of the letter,
and it was put away for safety with private
papers and forgotten. Recently It came to
light, and, with a note of explanation, was for
warded. It was not delivered, but returned to
the writer. This letter states that a certain
amount of gold, possibly $5,000, was buried!
under a certain oak tree, which, with the loca-j
tlon, was fully described. The information uas,
leaked out and tbe work ot unearthing it has
commenced in good earnest. Tbe tree cannot
be found, but old stumps tbat answer to a pos
sibility is being dug around till for several
acres is presented the appearance of a prairiu
dog colony.
Most gladly I'd clamber philosophy's ledges.
Most happily follow thee mile after mile,
But thy Held Is surrounded by towering hedges.
And ne'er can I hope to get over thy style.
Uarper'1 Magazine.
Asking Too Much of Hira. "You all
remember the words or Webster," shouted the
orator. f
"So, we don't" Interrupted a man In the
gallery. "He has so many words I can't remem
ber more than half of 'em. "Harpcr't Magazine.
A Flowery Sermon. "Well, my dear,
what did you think of I)r. Verbose' sermoa this
"Why, I was very much surprised. I never
knew before ;thst the apparently simple text he
chose was so hard to explain." Harper's Maga
There was a young man, a poor debtor,
Who wrote to his tailors a Iebtor;
They answered at once.
And called bim a donee.
And then the poor fctlbw felt Debtor.
Washington Critic.
The Seal of Fashion. "I can't imagine
how those Gabbler girls have got their repntatlon
for style. They are certainly ugly enouih to
scare a corpse, and they don't know how to dress,
I'll swear."
"Ah, my boy. hut yon should hear them talk
slang 1'
Substantial Knowledge. "Were you at
the Ladies Athenian Club this afternoon, my
dear?" asked a Koston husband.
"Ob, yes, and we had a most reviving- time, and
besides that I got Mrs. de Literati's recipe from
her own lips for making snowball padding. J.o
For Bun.
The Wild Western Way. Arizona wife
(sarcastically at 3 a.m.) -Well, I suppose you
nave been painting tbe town red, as usual.
IIusband-(calmly)-Oaly partly. I shot those
two tenderfeet you flirted with at the fandango
yesterday, and here is a little more scarlet
Shoots her and retires to rest.
An Audacious Intrusion. (At Mrs.
BInshrose's reception. )-Mrs. A. (Indignantly)
Who Is that strange, odd-lookin? person, wander
ing about as If be knew no one, and no one wanted
to know him?
Mrs. B. (apoIosetically)-Ssh. dear! That 13
dear Mrs. BInshrose's ahem I husband, you
Mrs. A.-(scornfuIly) What lmoodencet
AFineOpportunity Offered. "Mamma,"
said a fashionable np-town girl, "there's a gen
tleman In tbe parlor who wants to see you."
Mamma enters the parlor.
H'exeuseme, madam. fornotsendlnkh'Inme
kaird. bnt b'unrortnnately I forgot to bring one.
Ih'amal'rofessoroftbe h'Fngllsh language at
she h'ls spoke h'on Fell Mell and Piccadilly. I
thought, perhapa. h'lr there h'are young ladles
h'ln the family tbat you would like to have them
Join me class h'ln h'orderto catch the correct
Flccadlulan and Fell Mell h'aecent."
"Why. certainly. Professor, I think I will be
glad to do so (touching a bell). James, eallMia