a.- THE PITTSBURG DISPATCH,1 THURSDAY, JANUARY U, 1889. "iv W w I m- llje Mimm ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 1S46. VoU 43, Xo. 352. Entered &l Pittsburg Post office, KoTcmber 14, ISO!, as cecona-claas matter. Business Office 97 and99 Fifth Avenue. News Eooms and Publishing House75, 77 and 79 Diamond Street. This paper having wore than Double the circulation of any other In the State outside of Philadelphia, Its advantages as an adver tising medium will be apparent. TERMS OF THE DISPATCH. rosTAOE fbeb n the tsiiu) states, DiiLTDisrATcn, One Tear....... tM Dailt Dispatch, Per Quarter so? Dailt Disr-ATCH. OncMonth Dailt Dispatch, including Sunday, one year.. 10 00 Dailt Dibpatch, Including Sunday, per quarter - :s0 Daily Dispatch, Including Sunday, one month. - M Ednday Dispatch, one year. S50 -Weekly Dispatch, one year 1 15 Tbs Daily Dispatch Is delivered by carriers at . IS cents per week, orincluClngtheSundayedltlon, atSOcentsper week. PITTSBURG, THURSDAY. JAN. 24. 18S9. THE CEITICAL POINT. The report current in petroleum circles yesterday that a consultation had taken place in New Tort between the leaders of the producers' organization and the Stand ard, with regard to the disposition of that five million barrels of oil out of which the producers were to get the profits, indicate that the shutdown of last year has reached its critical point. It may be remembered that in discussing the question, TnE Dis rATCH pointed out the difficulty that was likely to arise when it became necessary to decide who is to take this surplus off the market and p3y for it If the Standard would perform that generous but probably expensive act, the shutdown might achieve success; but in view of the well-known fact the Standard is not in the business for fun, that termination of the deal is rather prob lematical. The rumors yesterday were to the effect that the Standard is not disposed to take the oil and deplete its tank surplus to that ex tent Perhaps they are erroneous, bat they have an air of probability. In that case the natural alternative will be the selling of the oil on the market; and the results may place before the producers the pertinent question whether they have done as well for them selves by playing the Standard's game as they would have by giving the same energy and strength to building np independent in . terests among the actual and legitimate buyers of oil. The outcome of the meeting is, of course, mainly conjecture, as yet; but it seems pretty clear that the critical point of the shutdown will come when the deal is closed up. PARADOXICAL DIPLOMACY. Mr. Phelps is announced to leave En gland this week, and it is stated that this course is taken in order to impress on the British mind the fact that the Salisbury ad ministration is rebuked because it does not send a Minister to Washington. There may seem to be a certain paradox in the attitude which first asserted the dignity of the United States by vacating the British Min istry here, and then because that post con tinues vacant revenges the wrong on the English Cabinet by leaving them without an American Minister; but such paradoxes make up the movements of diplomacy. There is a dangerous tendency in these va cant diplomatic posts which the dignified statesmen do not seem to appreciate. After the ministries at both capitals hare been left vacant for a time, and both countries continue to run along as usual, the people may conclude that these positions can be permanently vacated, and the gentlemen who are ambitious to fill these easy and high-priced situations may lose their chance of the jobs. ALASKA'S HAPPY SECLUSION. At last a really solid inducement has been held out to Americans to emigrate to arctic Alaska. An Alaskan paper states that the result of the last Presi dental election will not be known to settlers at St. Michaels, the Sea Islands and along the banks of the lower Yukon, until the midnight sun has come and gone next July. This beats the best record for returns from "West Virginia. The American citizen who is enjoying the companionship of polar bears and other arctic animals on the far Northwestern coast of Alaska has probably just heard of the nomination of Messrs. Cleveland and Harrison. He has before him all the fun of watching the campaign of education and lofty ideas, from the safe distance of eight months in the rear of events. It is unkind, perhaps, to suggest the thought, but we must remind General Har rison that he has not yet heard from all the counties. Our esteemed fellow citizens in Alaska's northern shores do not yet know how to address their little prayers for Presi dental favor. "When the icebergs meet again in the dawn of 1890 President Harrison will know exactly what his devoted admirers in Kavizagemut and Sesuwaling consider the proper reward for their polar fidelity. THE MINERS' DILEMMA. The river miners do not take very kindly to the proposition of the reduction in their wages by about 8 per cent; and consid ering that they have been subjected to idleness for several weeks, it is not altogether strange that they should indulge in some recalcitration. Possibly some of the labor leaders who have expressed them selves favorably to the policy of sustaining prices by an arbitrary reduction of produc tion may perceive in this proposition the real purpose of the agreement to stop min ing, which went into effect some time ago. If it had been announced at first that the closing of the mines was because the mar kets would not pay at the regular rate of wages, the question could have been dis cussed on its merits, and possibly an agree ment as to wages between the Monongahela and Kanawha miners might have solved the difficulty. As it is, the miners are offered the dilemma between commencing a strike after several weeks of enforced idleness, or surrendering to the prospect of reduced wages and uncertain work. EDUCATIONAL REFORM. It is rather interesting, and at the same time surprising, to find a New York co temporary jubilantly indorsing the action of the Board of Education in decreeing that "the marking system must go out of New York's public schools," and supporting the reform with the following arguments: "The practice of overtaxing the memory and neglecting to develop other faculties is an infamous one, particularly as applied to the young, and the only wonder is that its effects are not worse than thex are. Competition fpr 'marks' aggravates it." "What undesirable embellishments the most modern educational science may have added to the marking system, we will not undertake to say. But, as the marking system used to be, and probably now is, the ! system of recording the degree of compre hension of his studies, which the pupil shows in daily classes, it is a little difficult to see how the above assertions against it can be made good. To record that the student upon recitation showed a per lect comprehension of the subject studied; or that he showed that moderate comprehension which would justify a mark of seventy-five per cent, or that imperfect one which only calls for a mark of fifty per cent, or the total failure to know anything at all of it which requires a mark of zero, very plainly has nothing to do with either overtaxing the memory or producing com petition. The system of study may overtax the memory, or the influence of teachers may produce undue competition; and they may do exactly the opposite. In either case the marks have nothing to do with it, and are simply the record of the result. It is pertinent to recall the fact that a general attack has been made upon the sys tem of examinations to determine the stand ing of the scholar. That attack was well founded as against a sole dependence upon examinations, because in that case the memory will be overtaxed by the "cram ming" which inevitably is used to pre pare for the examinations. The system of marking or recording the proficiency ob tained in the daily work of the scholar, if carried out with decent honesty and good sense, is the exact opposite of this. It sim ply shows what each pupil has done, and can neither make drafts on the memory nor develop competition for standing, which is not inherent in the course of study pur sued. The outcry against the overwork and competition in the schools may have good foundation in some cases; butitisveryeasily overdone. "When the reformers have abol ished both examinations and marking, they might as well perfect the work against both evils, by abolishing recitations, classes and schools altogether, as the surest way to keep the scholars' memory from being overtaxed, and to prevent them from engaging in un due competition. WHAT CAN BE DONE. The treatment of the subject of street rail ways in Glasgow, as shown by the investi gations of Prof. Albert Sbaw, of Minneapo lis, is very different from the course which has been pursued in this country. That city owns all the street car tracks and leases them to a company for a term of years, un der certain conditions. The element of com petition secured by the bidding on the lease has reduced the maximum rate of fares to a penny, or two cents, and the company pays a 10 per cent dividend on that rate. This fully establishes what The Dis patch has heretofore urged, that by secur ing the free play of competition in trans portation over the streets, the rate of fare charged to the public might be reduced be low the nickel which is now taken as the ultimatum of cheapness in this country. The difference between the fare which the workingman of Pittsburg must pay and that which the workingman of Glasgow pays is 3 cents, and in a year, it would be a conserva tive estimate to say that the extra charge for himself and family would reach 10. The levy of that sum on every workingman for the especial benefit of the watered stock based on franchises in the public highways granted by the public liberality, ought to be sufficiently steep to open the eyes of the public The Glasgow policy would probably have the drawback of making a decided obstacle to improvements in transit "We doubt if a city owning all the street car tracks would be very prompt to adopt improved methods such as cable lines, electric roads or elevated railways. It could not be much slower than Pittsburg has been, which is just putting cable lines in operation after they have run successfully in other cities for nearly a de cade. But such a public ownership of the old lines would probably have delayed prog ress in those cities. The example, however, shows what can be dono by even an indirect and limited application of competition. If the obvious methods of securing direct com petition were adopted there is no question that a material reduction in charges could be secured, and good dividends could be earned on the bona fide investment in the roads. At all events the practice which Glasgow has carried out will readily be recognized as a long way above the recklessness with which our cities have literally thrown away immense franchises without any care for the public. PBOTECTION TOE POETS. Poets are constantly in need of protection. Sometimes it is protection from themselves, and in this case the public usually demands protection from them likewise. The poet is a tender thing, to be guarded, conserved and gently encouraged. "We refer to the genu ine article, of course. The poetaster is very tough. It is painful to hear the wail of a poet in the prosiac form of a petition for divorce; but Mr. Earl Marble, of San Fran cisco, has been constrained to voice his an guish in this manner. He accuses his wife, a Bostonian, of mental cruelty and on that ground seeks to be loosed from her. Mr. Marble is a poet His sweet songs on spring and other timely subjects have perfumed the pages of several magazines, at the usual munificent rates of five cents a line, we presume. But of late years Mr. Marble's wanderings among the parterres and forcing beds of potry have been marred and interrupted by the unsympa thetic annotations of his wife. The poet relates in his complaint many instances of the unseemly conduct of his helpmeet She has been wont to burst in upon him as he brooded over a villanelle with some such ejaculation as "rats!" or when he has been penning the melodious refrain of a ballade she has asked him in a cold, hard voice, whether he had duly attended to the furnace. Not unnaturally Mr. Marble attributes the emaciation of his mind to the attacks of his partner in life. He feels that unless he is shortly liberated from the married state, as an incubator of poetic eggs he will be played out. The relief he prays for he ought to obtain, unless Mrs. Marble can show that she acted under the belief, that is held in some quarters, that the only way to cure a person of her husband's temperament is to knock the poetry out of him. It may be that Mrs. Marble loves her husband but hates poetry, or that she loves poetry and her husband too, and has merely en deavored to curtail the manufacture of magazine poems by the linear yard. The case should be attentively watched, any how, for the revelations regarding a strug gling native industry are sure to be inter esting. There is a good deal of ridicule about the Connecticut "blue laws;" but when one of them recently was used to clear the city of New Haven of that class of dingy impos tors known as fortune tellers, it may be conceived that some of the cerulean legisla tion is not worse than the entirely colorless sort The Governor of Mississippi is urging the arrest of the people who kill negroes and then take possession of their prn-Ttv; but we do not hear that anyone has been lodged In jail or any farms restored to the heirs of the dead negroes. John M. Thurston, of Nebraska, inti mates that he can be prevailed upon to sac rifice himself by taking a Cabinet position. He says that he will have to give up a $12, 000 position, but he will undergo that loss if he is called upon to do it. This indicates Mr. Thurston's conviction that in the Cabi net he would be worth so much more than $12,000 a year to his employers, the Pacific railroads, as will insure him of getting it back after many days. Queen Victoria has permitted a modi fication of the rules relating to the low cut dresses of ladies attending the spring Draw ing Booms at Buckingham palace. It will no longer be necessary to present loyalty without any covering. New court and municipal buildings are to be built in New York and the taxpayers of that boodle-ridden city are already be ginning to quake at the prospects of job bery and corruption. It would pay the honest citizens of New York to study the history of the erection of our county build ings, and to insist upon the methods therein disclosed being copied by the officials who will superintend Gotham's improvements. The Monroe doctrine is getting a great boom on this continent just now; but it may be worth while to remember that the doc trine which proves the most weighty in in ternational questions, is the one that carries the heaviest guns. The report that Evangelist Moody is holding immense revival meetings in San Francisco, and that a place accommodating 6,000 people cannot hold all that come, per mits the hope that after he has converted enough of the Californians it may not be quite so easy for the Central Pacific mag nates to buy United States Senatorships as it has been heretofore. The theory that immoral and revolting plays have got to be represented because the author wrote them so, argues an ignorance on the part of the person who advances this idea that there are plays of healthy and attractive nature. It is now heard from the other side in the "Whistler-Stott encounter that it was Stott who punched "Whistler, not vice versa as "Whistler had reported. "Well, since each of them is satisfied that he licked the other, the artistic mill must be recognized as the most successful and satisfactory slugging that the world has ever enjoyed. The newest steamers to be added to the trans-Atlantic fleet are called the Majestic and the Teutonic. Unaccustomed passen gers, after they have been at sea about a day, will think the name shouldbe Emetic. The recording ot votes for or against the prohibition amendment the day after it is passed is another of those legislative idiosyncrasies that might be amended. Members who wish to vote on an important measure should learn the necessity of doing so when the measure is put upon its passage. If Mr. Phelps' dignified conduct were to prove infectious in the State Department it would be advantageous to the nation. But Mr. Bayard can hardly do much more mud dling and truckling before March 4. TnE string which The Dispatch stated some time ago was attached to John Wana maker's European trip has felt a jerk. It may not have been a very strong jerk, but it pulled Mr. Wanamaker all the way to Indianapolis. It does not take much of a jerk to do that nowadays. The Congressional resolution prohibiting the sale o! liquor at the inauguration ball is a more decided threat against the festivities of the occasion than all the animadversions of the clergy. The decision of the Pennsylvania Su preme Court that the question whether cider contains alcohol or not must be decided by juries, will nerve the average Pennsylvania juryman with determination to make a thorough test of it. He will not accept hearsay evidence, either. That flag bill in the Legislature is rais ing rather more fuss than the harmless bit of buncombe is worth. There is a good deal that is enterprising about the New York World's project of sending to look up Stanley; but what will the king of African explorers have to say when he learns that he is to be rescued by one of the bicycling fellows in a tennis suit? PERSONAL FACTS AND FANCIES. Max O'Reix thinks diamonds, not hearts, are trumps in this country. He doesn't un derstand tho game. Three colored men are members of tho Philadelphia bar Theophilus J. Minton. John D. Lewis and Jeremiah A Scott They are all in possession of profitable business. Marshal Bazaine was reduced to such an extent that he would gladly have accepted a shilling had it been offered to him, and would have sold his very sword in his sore need and poverty. The Princess of "Wales is meager in her millinery. The other day sho was having some bats made f ofcher daughters, and took her own material to be made up. She seldom gives much more than 30s. lor a bonnet The Emperor of Japan is allowed 52,600,000 a year for. his household department and his private fortune is large and increasing. He thoroughly understands business matters, and keeps himself well informed as to his invest ments. Milan OuBENOvrrcn has presented to his son, the Crown Prince of Servia, the pen with which he signed the new Constitution. One of these days the Crown Prince may wonder what has become of the pen by a stroke cf which his mother was robbed of her crown. Mr. Kenhax, the Siberian exmorer and writer, went on his travels largely for the sake of his health. "I sailed," he says, "from New York for San Francisco a pale-faced, gloomy, morbid boy, only 19 years of age, and weighing only 120 pounds. Rough, outdoor life so quickly restored my health that before I had been In Siberia a year I weighed 156 and could endure more hardship and privation than half the na tives." Ktwewa, the new King of Uganda, is a very different creature from his predecessor, his brother Mwanga. Kiwewa is a thin, active, restless man, who liKes his missionary more highly seasoned than does his brother. He also differs from Mwanga in that he never kills a wife before breakfast, being somewhat dys peptic and not fond of bloodshed before be has had his coffee and a cigarette. Ho is more progressive than Mwanga in his attire, and al ways wears at the very least necklace and an intelligent expression. Miss MART Fuller, daughter of the Chief Justice, will sail for Europe the last of this month for an indefinite stay. She has made a sensation in "Washington by her toilets. She 'wears no modern costumes for evening dress. Sho copies the style of the Directory or affects the short, belted waist and puffed sleeve of the Empire. At the White House recently she wore an odd little dress of lime. Holand's period. It was of bright canary-satin, and the short waist scarcely reached below the armpits, the back of the straight skirt falling from this ill two broad plaits. It had short, puffed sleeves, high on the .shoulders, and a square : ncker of mull filled in the neck. J THE TOPICAL TALKEE. Small Lota of Gossip for Homo Consumption at Your Leisure. There is a young Alleghenian he will not be 21 for 15 years yet who is wont to set up a howl whenever the hour for bathing arrives. Next door the house is full of children, but they are singularly quiet and sweet-tempered. The father of the young gentleman first men tioned was commenting on this fact to his wife last nlgnt, "Blank's children never cry," he said. Tho youngster, who was present thereupon said with considerable emphasis: "That's all right pop; but they haven't a bath tub next door!" V IIackmen, even in Pittsburg, are sometimes f ound who want the earth. ' Here's a case which seems to have escaped chronicling somehow: An old lady staying at tho Monongahela House very recently had to leave very early in the morning to catch a P. & W. train. She chartered a two-horse hack to take her to the depot. When she reached her destination sho offered the driver $1 60 surely enough but he demanded $5. The tram was about to start, and the old lady, though she objected to being robbed, was about to yield in order to reach the cars, when a well known Pittsburger, who happened to have overheard tho demands of tho hack driver, interfered. When he had ascertained the facts he told the old lady that she had two alternatives be fore her either to pay the $5 and catch the train, or return to Pittsburg, make a charge against the hackman and lose the train. The gentleman, who had also intended to leave on that train, offered to stay with the old lady and see her through. She decided to stay. The hackman was hauled up before a Pittsburg Alderman and fined. How this extremely edifying story was kept from publication I cannot teU. But it ought to be profitable reading to tho public and the hackmen. V The illness of Miss Fanny Davenport is not extraordinary, in view of the very heavy work which she does in "La Tosca." Whatever may be one's opinion of the play and Miss Daven port's acting, there Is no disguising the fact that sho really devotes an immense amount of physical force to tho portrayal of Florid Tosca. Miss Davenport, by the way, throws herself about whenever a chance occurs in the play. Her final performance on the ramparts Is real ly extraordinary. When the Boldiers fire upon her she does not, as Sara Bernhadt did, and as I understand Sardou indlcatedln his stage di rections the heroine should do, jump from the parapet into the castle's moat, but staggers instead and then rolls over and over down the sloping platform to the center of the stage. However she may guard herself in this exploit, thee5ctof rolling headlong down a board walk must bo very trying to so stout a woman as Miss Davenport V Max O'Rell says that he was astonished at the quantity of diamonds worn by women of all classes, from the wives of millionaires to maids of all work, and adds that imitation diamonds are more often met with than the real stones. This is strange, coming from a Frenchman. Parisian women are noted for their devotion to iewclry of all kinds, dia monds being particularly sought after, and tho imitation stones to be found in the Palais Royal shops are worn profusely by the lower classes of French women everywhere. Another new theater is promised to suffer ing Pittsburg. But really, if promises are liko pie crust, isn't it about time for some of these magnificent projectors of first-class playhouses to give the publio a little bit of the pie? If they can't do that they might give us a rest "The activity in real estate just now is re markable," said a Fourth avenue broker yester day. "Yes," said an impecunious person present "I have a bit of real estate I'd liko to sell, but the surroundings are so dull that no living man seems to want it" "Where is it?" asked the broker, briskly. "In Allegheny Cemetery a half a lot." A FEATURE OF THE INAUGURAL. South enrolled Colored Troops Will be Present on That Occasion. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. Charleston, S. C, January 23. A distinc tive featuro of the coming inauguration of President Harrison will be furnished from this city. Arrangements are making to send to Washington on March 4 a picked company of the militia of this city under the command of General W. S. Lee, who commands the First Brigade North Carolina State Cavalry, and who is the only colored brigadier in the United States. General Lee is a light-colored mulatto, and was at one time Speaker of the House- of Representatives of South Carolina. Charleston has the largest body of colored troops of any city in tho Union. There are two regiments of infantry and five cavalry companies, all uni formed and equipped. They were represented at Cleveland's inauguration by the South Carolina Volunteers, one of tho finest com panies in the brigade. THE PERFCTI0N OF DISCRIMINATION. The Judgment of Tho Dispatch In tho Selection of News Complimented. From the Canton News Democrat. 1 The Dispatch is among tho highest repre sentatives of American journalism. Its marked feature is that it is never behind in anything, and the judgment exercised in selection of news may be properly styled' the perfection of discrimination. The civilized world appears to be its field, and it is covered every day, so that when a reader of TnE dispatch lays the journal down ho feels that be has been accu rately posted for tho day upon all current events. . A PRIZE FOR AUTHORS. Mrs. Chnnlcr Will Give One for tho Beat Essny on Child Labor. Baltimore, January 23. Mrs. Amelie Rives Chanler has offered a prize of $100 for the best American essay on child labor. The money has been placed in the hands of Prof. Richard Ely, of this city, Secretary of the American Economic Association, and was received by Mrs. Chanler for some sonnets on the subject. The essay must not exceed 25,000 words, and must be in Prof. Ely's hands not later than December 2, 1S89. A Pointer for tho Girls. From the Philadelphia Times. A pointer for American heiresses: Before marrying a foreign lord try to find out whether he isn't only an ordinary scoundrel. Language of tho Senate Restaurant. From the Boston Herald. 1 In the United States Senate restaurant "One Grover" means a plate of sonp. DEATHS OP A DAY. n. Lnwrcnco Snnford. BpeelalTelejrram to the Dispatch. Erie, January 23. H. Lawrence Banford, ol Erie, died to-day in Riverside, Cat Deceased was an heir to a very large estate recently, and was a young man of rare promise. He was recently stricken with an ailment, and had gone to Cali fornia for relief. Deceased was a son of the vet eran hanker, Myron H. Sanford, and is widely connected In Pittsburg and vicinity. Thomas Cartin. Mr. Thomas Curtln, for 45 years a resident of the Eighth ward, died at his residence on Mercer street yesterday, aged 63 years. Mr. Curtin was formerly a river man. and had acquired considerable-wealth. He was highly respected by a large circle of acquaintances. THEATRICAL NOTES. This Hanlons "New Fantasma," a spectacu lar play with elaborate scenery and 60 people in the cast, will be at the Grand Opera House next week. Tho box office opens this morning for the sale ot seats for this engagement ' "The Two Johns," an irresistibly funny comedy, as all regular theater-goers well know, will be the attraction at the Bijou next week The advance sale of seats begins to-day. The Academy of Music is too small to ac commodate all who are anxious to see the per formance of the Rentz-Santley Company. "Romany Rye" is drawing immensely at Harris' Theater. Next week, "A Cold Day." Many new attractions are promised by the Casino at an early date. WASHBURN WINS THE FIGHT. He Receives a Large Majority. Notwith standing Many Vigorous Protests. St. Paul, January 23. The Committee on Investigation camo in promptly on timo and presented their report. It states that several persons were offered money, or other things of value, by overzealous friends of the several candidates, but that there is no evidence in any way whatever implicating either General Washburn or Senator Cabin. Mr. Lane called for the reading of the testimony to the House, and active debate was aroused by his motion. Mr. Ives thought the House ought to know tho inside of tho Republican caucus. Others thought tho committee had judiciary powers and their report should bo accepted as final. The motion to hear the testimony was lost. On motion the joint session then proceeded to vote viva voce for United States Senator, the joint ballot resulting; W. D. Washburn, 107; E. W. Durant, 20; E. M. Wilson. 2; C. M. Start 9; John P. Rea, 1: Thomas Bowen, 1; M. E. Clapp, 1. A great many explained their votes, especially the few bolters from the caucus. The vote was concluded and announced at 1:10 o'clock. During tho vote a thrilling scene was enacted when Representative Smith announced his vote. He spoke briefly, but in the most scathing terms of Senator Hixon, whom he mentioned by name, that gentleman having taken occasion in explaining his vote openly to saythat Washburn had secured the caucus nomination by improper means. The denunciation, which was most bitter and cutting, was received in dead silence, and members leaned forward to find the cause of the speech to see how he was taking it. Sena tor Hixon made no response, and may have left the hall. The Speakerannounced tho result of the ballot and declared General Washburn elected United States Senator. INJUNCTIONS AGAINST GRAYITAT0N. The County Attorney Says the Chicago Court Would Grant Ono Chenp. Chicago, January 23. A demurrer has been filed by the County Attorney for the Board of County Commissioners to the suit of Edward A. Stevens to restrain tho board from contract ing with the training school for boys at Foehan ville, because tho constitution says that no money shall bo paid to a religions institution. The ground of the commissioners' demurrer is that they cannot be enjoined from executing a contract, whatever the courts may have power to do as to enjoining tho county from paying money. The County Attorney also criticises the free dom of master in chancery in recommending injunctions. He says that on the receipt of $5 they would recommend an injunction against the law of gravitation. He claims the prelim inary injunction against the commissioners was promaturely issued. RELICS FOR THE CENTENNIAL. Tho Arch Under Which General Washington Passed Will be Exhibited. New York, January 23. General Wm. S. Striker, of New Jersey, has written to Secre tary Bowen, of the Committee on the Centen nial of the Inauguration of President Wash ington, saying that an arch erected by the ladies of Trenton and under which Washing ton passed on the way to the inauguration, and under which Lafayette passed when he visited this country in 1824, is now in possession of tho wife of the Hon. Caleb S. Green, of Trenton, who also has the letter of thanks which Wash ington wrote to the Trenton ladies. It is now m Indepeudence Hall on exhibi tion, and will be returned to Trenton in time for the centennial services. The committee is anxious to get one of the fans presented to the ladies present at the first inauguration ball. DEVASTATED BY DIPHTHERIA. Frightful mortality In Berks and Lehigh Counties Undertakers Bnsy. Reading, January 23. There is no abate ment of the terrible scourge of diphtheria In Eastern Berks and along the borders of Lo high county. In some sections as many as half a dozen children have been taken from a single family, and the young victims thus far number over 100. Adults also are carried off with such remarkable suddenness that the doctors are astounded. Thirty-two adults have died this month and there is no abatement. Doublo and triple funerals are of common oc currence, two and three children placed in a single coffin and buried in one gravo being affairs of almost every day The scourge extends for 20 miles and is worse along low streams of water. Many cases of destitution are reported. PARALYZED AT HIS POST. Representative Burnes, of Missouri, Seized With Parnlysls in the nails of Congress. Washington, January 23. Representative James N. Burnes, of Missouri, was seized with an attack of paralysis this afternoon in the House during tho consideration of the sundry service Dill. He was removed to his hotel in the police ambulance. His condition is very critical. His entire left sido is completely par alyzed, and while he is perfectly conscious, his condition Is indeed alarming. Even if he could survive the present attack, there is imminent danger of others following, and in that event the chances of recovery would be very slight indeed. FIRST COME, LAST SERVED, Senator Quny Won't bo Bothered by Office Seekers Until May 4. Washington, January 23. Senator Quay left to-day for Florida to bo absent until the latter part of February. Ho desired the an nouncement made that ho would oppose the appointment to office of any man who applied to him for assistance prior to May 4. A Dcllcnto Task. From the New York World. J. L. Babcock, of Ann Arbor, Mich., who is to receive $600,000 from his uncle's estato if ho marries soon, intends to select his wife by aid of a competitive examination. The committee in chargo of tho contest has a very delicate task to perform. Not since Paris was called upon to award the golden apple to tho fairest of the threo goddesses, Juno, Minerva and Venus, has a competition of this kind attracted so much attention. The committee will be in fine condition after tho defeated aspirants have finished their revenge. Tho Champion ITeavy Man Dies. JSrKCIAI. TELKGKAH TO THE DtSVATCIt.l Massillon, January 23. Billy Kurtz, claimed to be tho heaviest man In Ohio, died on his farm, near here, this afternoon, of drop sy, aged 45 years. Tho average weight of de ceased was 4G5 pounds, while the avoirdupois of two brothers and two sisters added made a total of 1,411 pounds for tho quintet. " Mrs. Cleveland's Popularity. From the London Globe. A Tho popularity ot Mrs. Cleveland Is a real bulwark to the President. There was some good sense in tho gentleman who. being charged by a rampageous bull, held his wife firmly in front saying: "Stand steady, Maria; he can't toss both of us." The Energy of Talk. From the Chicago News. It is estimated that tho energy displayed by members of Congress in talking on the tariff during the last four months if applied properly would have been sufficient to lift the national debt ANCIENT ADVERTISING. It Is affirmed that the first newspaper adver tisement appeared in 1642, during the civil war in Great Britain. In mediaeval times itwas the public crier who went abroad enumerating the goods that a cer tain merchant had for sale. In Greece it was the public crier who an-nouti-ed sales or bid the people come to the theater or visit the public baths. In England the first printed advertisement was gotten up by Caxton, the celebrated printer, who announced the completion of "The Pyes of Salisbury," a book 'containing a collec tion of rules for the guidance of priests in tho celebration of Easter. The advertising card is of entirely modern origin, although the Egyptians, Greeks and Romans knew something about advertising. They accomplished the desired result through tho medium of posters, as several bills, painted in black and red, were found on the walls of the Pompeiian dwellings. The first authentic advertisement was pub lished in the Mercuriut Politicus of 1652. In the year 1657 a weekly newspaper devoted to the interests of advertisers made its apnearance in London. It was not until the eigtheenth cen tury that newspaper advertising became the recognized medium between the manufacturer and the buyer. AT THE SOCIAL SHRINE. Mrs. E. M. Ferguson's Delightful Reception and Other Events. The carriage-crowded drive before Mrs. E. M. Ferguson's 'mansion in the,East End, yes terday afternoon, certainly testified to that lady's popularity as an entertainer, and the i o'clock tea that she gave well sustained that reputation. Prominent society people of both cities were present, and. in addition to their hostess, were received by the Mesdames James W. Brown, Henry C. Buffum, George "W. Dnvey, William H Frew, Henry H. Cain and J. H. McClellan; also the Misses McClellan, Montgomery, Mackintosh and Carrie Hays. ineauair was in honor of Miss Ferguson, a visiting sister of Mr. E. M. Ferguson. The floral decorations were furnished by B. A. Elliot, while Kuhn, the caterer, furnished the tea for 100 covers..The guests left at 6, having passed a most enjoyable afternoon. A Nice Supper nnd Donee. A very pretty entertainment was given at Sterrett'g Hall in Homewood, by the East End German yesterday evening. The attendance was fairly good, considering the state of the roads. The features of the affair were a nice supper and dance, the latter being carried on until an early hour. Their Second Reception. The second annual entertainment of Good Will Council, Order of Chosen Friends, was given last evening at Cyclorama Hall, Alle gheny. About 150 couples were present and danced from 8 to 2 o'clock. The music was furnished by Gernert & Guenthcr and Luther was the caterer. In Honor of Miss Mary Gregg. Mrs. Dr. W. J. Holland, of Oakland, gave a charming little luncheon to a few friends yes terday afternoon, in honor of Miss Mary Gregg, an eastern visitor of Miss Mary McKee, of Oakland. Caterer Kuhn set the table, and altogether it was a most enjoyable affair, last ing from 1 until 5. A Plensant Birthday Party. Mr. Jacob Auienbacher, Jr., of Eighteenth and Carson streets, Southside, celebrated his thirty-fourth birthday last evening. About 30 friends were present and passed a pleasant evening. Mr. Auienbacher was serenaded by the Germania Band and the Odd Fellows' Lte dertafeL Ilclbiing Heyl. Mr. Lawrence Heyl, the Liberty street tobac conist and Miss Theresa Helbling, daughter of Joseph Helbling, of Lawrenceville, were mar ried yesterday at St. Augustine's Church, in tho presence of many friends. A Ten Party for the Church. Salisbury Hall, Southside, was crowded to the doors last night on account of a tea party which was given for tho benefit of the Holy Cross Church, at South Thirty-first street. Knights Templar Monthly Treat. The members of Pittsburg Commandery No. 1, Knights Templar, held their usual monthly entertainment at the Central Turner Hall last night. Entertained by Mrs. Singer. Mrs. George Singer yesterday entertained a number of her friends in a delightful manner at her residence. Point Breeze. A NEW INDUSTRY IN SWEDEN. Tho Extraction of Oil From Wood Becom ing an Important Branch of Trade. The Stockholm correspondent of the Glasgow Mail mentions that a new industry has sprung up in Sweden, which consists in the extraction of oil from wood. It appears that this industry is becoming every year a more important branch of Swedish trade. Tho portions of tim ber and plants which used to be considered valueless are now utilized. After being sub jected to various processes, they yield not only oil, but turpentine, creosote, acetic acid, char coal and pitch. It appears that the ligneous oil produced in Sweden cannot be burned in ordinary lamps, owing to the quantity of smoke it throws off, but has to be used in specially constructed lamps similar to what are em ployed for photogen. It costs about 55 centimes per litre, is not explosive and burns much longer than photogen. There are at present 30 manufactories for turning out this substance in Sweden, so rapidly has the industry devel oped, and the annual production is about 40,000 litres. TO REIMBURSE HIS HEIRS. 4 Tho Government Will Appropriate 8300,000 to Pay for Captain Ends' Work. Washington, January 23. The Appropria tion Committee of tho House has decided to offer amendments to tho sundry civil appro priation bill, now under consideration by the House, appropriating $500,000 to reimburse the heirs of Captain Eads for improvements made in the channel of the Mississippi river at South Pass, and allowing $150,000 for the continuance of the work of surveying and locating sites for irrigating the arid lands of the West SHOULD HAVE BEEN PROTECTED. Louis C. Schilling Complains of the Depart ment of State. Washington, January 23. Louis C. Schill ing, whose case at ono timo caused considera ble interest -both in the United States and Mexico, has presented a petition to the Senate through Senator Spooner, in which ho makes complaint against the Department of Btate for not, as ho alleges, affording him the protection due an American citizen. A Problem. From a Montana Exchange. A rather strange affliction happened to a Missoula couple who were sleigh riding. The young man's right ear and the lady's left ear were frosted, while tho other two wero not cold at all. Why all four ears were not frosted is a problem which has been submitted to the high school class in physiology. Sensation In Washington. From the Chicago News.! Washington, a city of some thousands of souls and numerous politicians, has lately been shaken by a great sensation. A family has moved there with the avowed intention of re siding permanently. Eruptions and Corruptions. From the New York World. J Kilanea, the Sandwich Island volcano, i3 again displaying pernicious activity. That part of the world seems to depend upon eruptions and corruptions to gain notoriety. WAITIN'FER TnE CAT TO DIE. Lawzy? don't 1 rlckollect 'ili.it 'ere old swing in the lane! Right and proper, I expect. Old times can't come back again; Bat I want to state, ef they Could come back, and I could say What my plcjc nd be, 'yjingl I'd say, Olmme the old swing 'Nunder the old locust trees On the old place, ef you please, Dauglln' there with half-shet eye, Waltin' fer the cat to dlel I'd say, Gimme the old gang Of barefooted, hungry, lean, Or'n'ry boys you want to hang When you're growed up twicct as mean! The old gyarden patch, the old Truants, and the stuff we stoledl The old stompln'-groun', where we Wore the grass off, wild and free As the swoop of the old swing, Where we uset to climb and cling. And twist roun', and fight, and lie Waltin' fer the cat to die! 'Pears like I 'most alius could Swing the highest of the crowd Jcs sail up there tel I stood Downside up, and screech out loud, Ketch my breath, and jes drap back Fer to let the old swing slack, Ylt my tow-head dlppln' still In the green boughs, and the chill Up my backbone taperln' down, With my shadder on the groun' Slow and slower trailin' by Waltin' fer the cat to dlel Now my daughter's little Jane's Got a kind o' baby swing On the porch, so's when It rains She kin play there-little thing I And I'd limped out t'other day "With my old cheer thls-a-way, Bwingln' her and rockln' too, Tbinkln how I uset to do At her age. when suddenly, "Hey, gran'pap!" she says to me, Why you rock-so slow?'" Says I, Waltin' fer the eat to die!" Jamil WMtcomo Hlley, inHarptrf Magazine for 1'ebruary. ODD PHASES OP CITY LITE. Rare Collection of Shakespearean Carlos. tNlEW TOBK BUREAU SPECIALS. New York, January 23. Dr. J. O.'Haniwell FhllUps,an English collector of Shakespearean curios, who has just died, bequeathed his whole collection to the Shakespeare Society of New York. Dr. Halliwell Phillips devoted 42 years of his Ufa collecting and studying relics of Shakespeare and his times. He published the results of his studies in 300 volumes. Copies of these volumes and a vast deal of original man uscript will bo shipped to the society shortly. Dr. Phillips thought that New York promised to be the future center of Shakespearean research. Wnllack's Btogo Clothes on View. The theatrical wardrobe of. Lester Wallack, the dead actor, was exhibited at anan!tlon room to-day, preparatory to itasale next Fri day morning. It contains about every kind of costume that an actor can wear on the stage. All sorts of cloaks, trousers and waistcoats, gold-embroidered and gold-bespangled, appro priate for all plays from "School" to "Much Ado About Nothing,'' are beingtumbled about on the auctioneer's counters by curious mem bers of tho profession. The swords and daggers used by Mr. Wallack in "Faint Heart," "As You Like It" and "Diplomacy" are also In the collection. Tha swords with which James Wallack fought in "Rienzi"and "Richard IH." form a separate lot of relics. Fifty canes, which were given to Lester Wallack by friends, will also be sold. Wrecked by Politics. Richard Croker, the great Tammany chief tain, is breaking down physically. His physi cians have told him he muStgo South and keep from politicians. Mr. Croker worked tremen dously hard last fall to get Mr. Hewitt out of office, and to get Mayor Grant in. After the election of Mayor Grant, tho Tammany poli ticians got to quarreling bitterly over tho spoils, and Mr. Croker had to work harder than ever to make peace among them. Four months of these exertions have worn out his nervous system. Tammany men are puzzled to know they can keep their grip on the city offices without the help ot Mr. Croker as Fire Com sioner. Freddie Nervous Last Monday Eve. Freddie Gebhardt was in a terrible state of mind last Monday night when Mrs. Langtry made her debut as Lady Macbeth. He sat quite still on a stool behind the scenes until the play was half done. Then he hurried around behind the curtain and in the boxes, asking everyone ha knew whether the Lily was a success in her new role. Crosby Mny Spoil the Fan. The Rev. Howard Crosby thinks he can stop some of the fun at the big French ball in the Metropolitan Opera House next Tuesday night. In a long affidavit, which he will show to the Supreme Court he tella what high jinks havo resulted from the sale of champagne after midnight at the French balls. He wishes the court to keep the dancers at the ball next Tues day from drinking wine aftei 12 o'clock. Tho police say they are ready to do Dr. Crosby's bidding if the Supremo Court will give them a mandamus. A Novel Oil Ship. The first steel tank bark ever built for the oil trade sailed from here to-day for Havre, with 12 tanks full of oil. Her name is Ville de Dieppe. She is 231 feet long, 22 feet deep and has a registered tonnage ot 2,000. She is lighted exclusively by electricity to avoid all danger of fire. Controversy Over a Corpse. The body of Lieutenant Miles, of the steam ship Yantic, who died several days ago of yel low fever, remains unburied at quarantine. The Board of Health wishes to bury it here. The Miles family wish to bury it in Virginia. Before the body can be transported to Vlr ginia, Boards of Health in all States through which it must pass must grant formal permits and the health authorities must givo a burial permit. All this red tape is considered un necessary by the Miles family, as the metallic coffin in which the body He3 is air tight Could Not Face the Executioner. Theodore Wehl was shot in the abdomen yes terday by a friend "whose name he refused to give. He said the shooting was an accident. To-day he died. Shortly before his death, Paul Cohas, a cigarmaker, shot himself in the left breast at his lodgings. He"was taken to a hos pital to die. His room mate told tho police that Cohas planned to shoot himself early this morning when he read that Wehl could not 'live. Cohas said to his chum: "I am the man who shot Theodore Wehl in tho abdomen yes terday. I see by the papers ha will die. The detectives are after me and I will kill myself. Wehl and I quarreled over 50 cents at cards and I shot him." Pnrsncd by an Abused Woman. William Mayer's wife has got nim into a bad tangle with the police here by coming all the way from Lcipsic, Germany, to tell about his misdeeds in the old country. She married him eight years ago. They lived happily until her father died, leaving her about (2,000. He then made her life miserable by constantly teasing her for money. Finally she gave him the whole 82,000. He got terribly drunk and ran away to America. She supported her six children by washing and begging. Eventually she got to gether money enough to pay her passage to America. She arrived threo days ago. A de tective helped her find Mr. Mayer,. who swore profanely that he never saw her or her $2,000. Finally he acknowledged she was his wife. He refused to support her, howover, although ho is well-to-do, and advised tha commissioners at Castle Garden to send her back to Germany as a pauper. A Lively Timo at a Dnncc. Billy McGlory's big opening ball was almost broken up early this morning by a young man who said he was a blizzard and a cowboy. In fact he was William Dean, of Jersey City, and very drunk. At 4 o'clock young Dean darted to the, middlo of the ball room in the midst of a waltz, shouted that It was bed time, and then began shooting at the big chandelier above him, with a 42-caIiber revolver. All the dancers and cake-walkers tumbled out of doors and the waiters got behind the bar. Two bouncers tried to eject young Dean without taking hold of him, but failed. Two policemen, however, lugged him off, after he had emptied his re volver, and the ball proceeded. McGlory's dive was closed last year by Mayor Hewitt. Everyone is wondering to-day what Mayor Grant will do about it. A Rich Woman's Escapade. Mrs. Maria Mascapetti, wife of a rich Hobo ken wine merchant, made a big rumpus in a Hoboken theater last evening by smoking a cigarette during the play. A man tried to stop her. She slapped his face and called him names. An usher made an equally bad job of quieting her. A policeman removed her from the theater. She will be tried for disorderly conduct to-morrow. Suffocated by Coal Gas. Last night Daniel Desmond and John Walsh were suffocated in their bunks on the steam ship Holbert by gas from an old coal stove. Both were breathing faintly when the mate opened the door this morning. They died, how ever, before a doctor arrived. Poisoned In a Barroom. Some time ago youngAlbert Swatz was given a glass of sulphuric acid instead of soda water at Schmidt's saloon, in Newark. He died the same night. The Coroner's jury returned a verdict of criminal neglect on the part of Schmidt and recommends the passage of a law forbidding saloon keepers to keeppoison3 be hind their bars. Penny Wise and Pound Foolish. From the Chicago lnter-Ocean.1 England fo-day pays a total of $4,000,000 in subsidies, and by thatmeansshe gets $365,000,000 of the $065,000,000 paid for the carrying trade of the world. There is such a thing in America as being "penny wise and pound loollsb," and the question of "subsidies" for the great carry ing trade of the world and the decision of American statesmen upon it puts us on the "penny-' side. Killed tho Business. From the Burlington Free.l'ress. An Indiana court has decided that unless a woman is pleased with her photographs she need not pay for them. Since this daclsion was rendered 45 photographers have spilled their chemicals out of the window and left the State. J CUEIODS COBDEKSATIOSS. Of 26,000 criminals arrested in Paris, 16,000 had not attained the age of 20. In Rome there are 30 cardinals, 35 bish ops, 1,469 priests, 2,215 nuns and 3,000 monks, friars, candidates, etc A San Francisco court granted a di vorce last week within less than 21 hours after the application had been filed. On one of the foggy days in London last week, the output of ono of tha gas companies there was 105,016,000 cubic feet of gas. A California clergyman lately went crazy while preaching, and descending from the pnlprt threw books and chairs among tho congregation. A Chinese paper tells of a monkey that extinguished a fire by emptying the contents of a teapot on tha flames, which were, rapidly con BumiBgasnrtajn, -The Pacific road3 are using a rotary snow plow this winter which will eat its way through a drift 15 feet thick and half a mile long in 20 minutes. The cattle in South Florida are said to bo starving, the flat woods being so covered with water that it was almost impossible for the animals to get food. Almost all the Paris theaters are lighted by electricity, and by tho time tha Ex position opens it is hoped to have the system installed in tho remainder. Last year 15 Chinamen were married in Queensland one to a native of the colony, one to a Victorian native, two to Scotch women, three to Irish women and eight to English women. A man in New York City has fitted himself for an expert witness on chirograpby, and once having seen a man's signature he can identify it again if simply shown one single let ter of the name. There was an exciting battle at Pierce, Iowa, the other day between an owl and a largo shepherd do the bird coming off victorious. Another bout was then arranged between tha victor and a brindla bull pup; and again tho owl was the winner. Last week there was an enormous catch of sardines off Boulogne, France. They have been selling at 5d per 1,000, and immense quan tities have been used as manure, as the curing establishments have been totally inadequate to cope with the enormous supply. A peculiar story comes from Banner, Neb. A new town called Harrisburg has grown up in the same county, and recently an enterprising citizen of the latter town went to Banner, loaded the postoffice on his wagon, and carried it triumphantly to Harrisburg. Banner succeeded in recovering it after a struggle. The waters of nearly all the hot springs in Black Rock region, Nevada, are so strongly impregnated with mineral matter, that .they will petrify vegetable or animal matter in a few years. One enterprising genius has the bodies of three Indians in soak, and when they ara converted into stone he expects to make a for tune exhibiting them. Tho number of paupers in London in the last week in December, exclusive of luna tics in asylums and vagrants, was 100,315, as compared with 104,097 on the corresponding day of the previous year. 03,611 in 1S86, and 94,902 in 1SS3. The vagrants relieved in the metropolis on the last Saturday of December numbered 1.156, of whom 949 were men, 170 women and 37 children under 16 years of age. There is a company in Birmingham, England, that makes about 10,000.000 of pma every day, the weight averaging five tons per week. Tho company are in possession, as pro prietors, of tho privileges and rights of tho original patentee of tho solid-headed pin. There are at least two other extensive pin manufacturers in Birmingham, where it is said that half the pins used in the world are made. An old fellow in a Wisconsin town who has been running a private bank for some years was recently requested to publish some sort of a statement. So he posted the following on the door of his bank: "Notice. This 'ere bank has got 550,000 be hind her. She don't owe nobody a cussed cent. Good paper discounted, as heretofore, and nobody proposes to cat sticks for Mexico or Canada.'1 The immigration that has poured into Southern and Western Florida has made it a white man's land, wealthy and prosperous. While the 10,200 negroes south of St Augustine had grown from 1S70 to 1S80 to 16,900, the 17,300 whites had grown to 15,800 and aro nearly 70,000 to-day. In that section of the State the races wero nearly eqnal 18 years ago; the whites are lour to one to-nay, ana in a nnmDer oi tno counties the negro population has actually de creased. A Chicago woman suffered so terribly from tight shoes while at the theater that at the end of the first act, she took the advice of her husband and removed the footgear. After that she was in clover until the performance was over. Then she almost fainted to find that her feet had so swelled that the shoes would littlo more than go over the toes. Her husband, however, again came to tho rescne, and sug gested that she wrap the shoes in tha pro gramme and walk home only about half a block distant in hor stocking feet She fol lowed his advice, but the chill which shot through her body when she stepped on the cold pavement prompted her to resolve never again to go shoeless during the winter, even if she has to remain in a theater for a week. The life of Mme. Peynaud, the French woman, who died a few days ago near Catons ville, Md., where for years she occupied, with cats, dogs and birds, an old hut, is told of as follows in Baltimore papers: Sho formerly lived in Paris, her hnsband was a barber, and upon his death be left her a recipe for beauti fying the complexion. She started an estab lishment, but, trade not being brisk, she 'adopted a new plan. She advertised exten sively, promising astonishing results. When her victims came she charged them large prices for the lotion. The lotion, however, brought out ugliness and blotches instead of beauty, and she then demanded exorbitant prices for removing theso blotches. She made a great deal of money, but in 1875 she was ar rested, tried and convicted. She managed to escape to New York, where she lived quietly for a time. Remorse overcame her. and she consulted a clergyman. He counseled penance. She therefore went to Maryland, bought an old building in a secluded spot, and began the Ufa of a recluse. TAKEN FROM LIFE. Beastly Weather. When it rains cats and dog3. Never call a big man a liar. He'd prob ably feel worse than a smaller man. The Flying Dutchman would probably ba Bismarck If the wishes of the ex-Empress were consulted. Scene: Grammar Class Teacher What is the future of "He drinks?" Johnny (after considerable thought) "He K drunk." Most Unfortunate. Simpson (tremulous ly) Emma, darling, say yes, and there will be another Newsboy (outside) Big breach of promise easel Extra I Near Relatives "We are related, I be lieve," said the Earthquake to the Case ot Ague. 'I think so, though we have never met before," replied the Case of Ague. "Shake!" both exclaimed, simultaneously. Cold Days for Art Beethoven Voa HInkensplel (trombonist of street band) Mein goodness, Herr Conductor, can't you head ns aroundt de obbosltewayr Dot December wind blows all the music down mein throat! A Doubtful Future. Minister (at din ner, to Bobby) I suppose, Bobby, you want to grow up to be a good and useful member of so ciety? Bobby Oh, yes I I want to be in the best so ciety, but I don't b'lieve that I can get there. Pa and ma never could. The New Shade. Aunt (who is enter taining Miss Breezy, of Chicago)-That Is a beau tiful dress you have on, Ueraldlne. and the shade 6eems to be quite new. Miss Breeiy (complacently) Yes; it Is a new Chicago shade, called the "pig's snore." A Delicate Insinuation. "What do you think of the modern style of writing paper?' asked Cora. "Do yon like it as well as the old?" "I'm afraid I am not competent to form an opinion." replied ilerrltt. "1 should Judge that a great deal can be said on both sides." Free Medical Advice. "Doctor," said a citizen as he overtook him on the street, what do you do in a case of gone stomach?' ' "Well," replied the doctor, thoughtfully, "I'to neverhadsucnacase myself; but I would recom mend you to advertise for it and then sit down in a large easy chair and wait until somebody brings it back." The Wrong House. Tramp (thinking to obtain sympathy) I say. Mum. I ain't got no where that I kin call a home, and I ain't eat nutbln' all day. Would you mind it. Mum, if I slep' lu the snow here until mornln'r Lady of the house (who knows 'em) No, I ain't got any objections. Yon can drop down there anywhere; only remember, that as 1 don't charge you anything for your lodgln', I shall expeC yon to shovel the snow away from the house in the morn in'. -All from LW.