WBKBatX s-1 jj. Kjov J A. Sk e THE PITTSBTJKQ- DISPATCH, ' TUESDAY, JANUARY 22, r1889; r I L ft fe I sHje Bpfdj. ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY S, IMG. YoL o. 350. Entered at l'ittsburg l'ost offlce, November H, 1337, as second-class matter. BtiBlnessOfflce G7andG9 Fifth Avenue. News Booms and Publishing House 75, 77 and 79 Diamond Street. This paper baring more than Double the circulation of any other In the State ouuldo of Philadelphia, Its advantages as an adver tising medium Trill be npparent. TERMS OF THE DISPATCH. rOSTAOE FETE rit Till UNITED STATES. BATLT DisrATCB, One Year I 8 00 Daily Dispatch, Ter Quarter 20 Dailt DisrATcn. OncMontb " Daily Dispatch, Including Sunday, one year Daily Dispatch, Including Sunday, per quarter. Dailt Dispatch, Including Sunday, one month 80 Bukdat Dispatch, onej-car. ISO Weekly Dispatch, one year 125 The Daily dispatch Is dellvc red by carriers at 15 cents per week, or including thcsundayedltion, at 10 cents per week. P1TTSBDRG, TUESDAY. JAN.22. 18S9. THE SOUTH PENH'S REVIVAL. The last announcement of the settlement of the South Penn reorganization, following bo closely as it does upon the heels of the purchase by the Yanderbilts of the Hostet ter interest in the P. & L. E., confirms the view of that transaction -which was taken by The Dispatch yesterday. It is certainly good news to Pittsburg that the differences and obstacles in the way of reviving that project have, as stated else where, been overcome, and that the capital. Vanderbilts' investments in this section, is to be expanded into the creation of a new East and "West line, of which Pittsburg will be the central point. The triumph of this project implies the expansion of Pittsburg and "Western Pennsylvania industries by an indefinite proportion; and the community can but rejoice over the now assured fact that the long and wearisome fight is finally won. The South Penn will go through, and as an unwatered and independent line will be prosperous by itself and contribute to the prosperity of "Western Pennsylvania. AN AFPAREHTLY WEAK ATTITTOE. ,The attitude of the State Department in .e Samoan afiair, so far as the public can judge by the data within its reach, presents a peculiar contrast to the course taken with Hayti. A man who flies into a great rage when he is insulted by one who is weaker than himself and calmly shies off when the insulter is his equal in strength, does not get a very good reputation for courage or manliness. Of course it is fair to remember that the public may not be in possession of all the facts. The disregard of our rights ;may not have been as wanton as was report ed, and the Government may be taking steps not known to the public But the at titude of Secretary Bayard does not promise incisive steps for the preservation of Ameri 'can interests abroad; and unless some such steps are taken it is donbtful whether even the property of American citizens in that quarter of the world will be safe against German aggression. If the reports are true .it is time for us to assert our position as a nation, and to develop a backbone in the State Department. NO COMBINATION IN FLOUR. The interviews given in our business col umns ou the subject of a reported "amalga mation," as it is called here, between the flour dealers and the wholesale grocers to regulate jobbing prices for flour, show that many among the leading firms have no in tention of going into it. That may be con sidered to give the quietus to a scheme which would have met with failure in any event, if it had been attempted. It is quite natural that firms who have built np their business by the recognition of the principle of small margins and quick profits should perceive the fallacy of any proposition to establish arbitrary prices. That margins are narrow for flour is un doubtedly true; but the .real effect of such margins, and the falsity of the plea for combination, is shown by the fact that on just these narrow margins some of the larg est and strongest houses in the city have attained their strength. The further vice of the combination system appears in the fact that any such combination in the flour trade would work its own defeat Suppose that an "amalgamation" had been formed which would raise the robbers' margin to 40 or CO cents a barrel, after years of experience had shown that 20 or 25 cents affords a living to the trade. How long would it be before a dozen new houses were in operation, either to share the excessive profits or to sell cheaper flour at the legitimate prices? Combination in the flour trade is happily an impossibility; and it will remain so un less the same policy is applied to build it np which was nsed in the case of the petrol eum trade, namely, railroad discriminations in favor of the monopolists which enable them to drive all others out of the business. A SEDUCTION FOE STANDING UP. The municipal railway problem has as sumed a new phase in Cleveland, where an ordinance has been introduced, and is urged by a very strong popular support, enacting that passengers on street cars, if they are not provided with or offered a seat immedi ately on entering the cars, shall pay only three cents fare. The patient Pittsburgers have never thought of claiming a reduction because they had to stand up in cars packed like sardine boxes, and have only been anx ious that they should be delivered at their homes in a reasonable length of time. Some of them when they had to get out and help push the cars up hill, in a storm, in order to get home before midnight, may have felt like claiming a rebate; but they now live in hope that the advent of cable roads has abolished that necessity. "Whether Cleve land succeeds in accomplishing the unique reduction remains to be seen; and it will also be interesting to learn whether it will result in more liberal provision of cars by the companies, or greater gallantry on the cart of passengers in standing and letting others have the seats at the enhanced price. THE B. & O.'S SOUNDNESS. The appeal by the Johns Hopkins Univer sity, of Baltimore, for aid in its temporary financial straits, caused by the suspension of dividends on the Baltimore and Ohio Bail road stock which it holds, is made by the New York papers the text for sermons on the fallibility of human judgment in con sidering that stock a sound investment. The trust shown by the late Johns Hopkins in that corporation is paraded as a case of misplaced confidence; and it is intimated that the value of the property is not what it is now estimated at. All of this is the outgrowth of the feeling steadily inculcated by the other trunk lines against theHaltimore and Ohio because that corporation has assumed, with a compara tively unwatered capitalization, to put itself in competition with the other lines. "We have Mr. Gould's own authority for the statement that he urged upon Kobert Gar rett the argument that it was ridiculous to run such a property as that of the Baltimore and Ohio with a capital stock of only 519,000,000; and there is little doubt thatjif the advice had been taken and the capital ization multiplied by three much less would have been heard from railroad quarters about the suspension of dividends. Other trunk lines have suspended dividends be fore this without half the acclamation. It is worth while in view of these utter ances to note the fact that although the B. & O. is not paying dividends at present, it is still the most solvent of the trunk lines. Its total stock and debt is less than 530,000, 000 on a property certainly worth half as much as that of companies bearing three times that capitalization. It is true that its property was weakened by utter incompe tence of management; and there is little doubt that its difficulties were magnified and its credit injured by representatives of capital anxious to eliminate it from the list of through competitors; but it is still the least unwatered of the through lines and in vestments in it rest on a more solid basis than in some other lines that are pushing the policy of shutting out competition for the benefit of watered stock. The policy of attacking the credit of a solvent corporation in the interest of its rivals may in time react on those who in spire it. KEEP THE BALL B0LLING. To-night the friends cf the Pittsburg Ex position are called upon to gather again at Old City Hall. The assemblage one week ago, though small, developed a handsome pay-streak, and everyone who wishes the city well hopes that to-night's prospecting may do better"yet Of course the Exposition is to be built, and the quicker and heartier the response to the call for funds, the cheerier will be the feeling all round. Let all be there who can. Pittsburg must have an Exposition becoming the great mercantile center it has grown to be. It should be a privilege to every citizen to take part in this work and do some of the shouting. THE INTEBBEGNUM. Our esteemed cotemporary, the Commer cial Gazette, is not of the same mind as THE Dispatch that the whole high license law would go by the board and not count in 1890 if a prohibition amendment were adopted this year. That it is possible to argue on both sides of the question, we do not dispute; but the view is widely, and we think soundly, taken that the result, as indicated byTHE Dispatch, would follow. Assuredly if a prohibition amendment is adopted in next June the courts in 1890 will ignore those clauses of the Brooks law which call upon them to hear applications for li cense. The only contention then can be that while the provisions for license fall, the penalties prescribed in the same act for "selling without license" shall continue. Bnt statutes inflicting pun ishment are construed strictly; they are also considered as a whole; and, further, the in tention of the Legislature which passed the law has to be taken into account. It is at least difficult to see how, taking into ac count those three cardinal rnles of construc tion laid down by good old Mr. Blackstone, the courts could consider the penalties spe cifically created as part of the licensing act of 1887, the proper or applicable means for enforcing total prohibition in 1890 which was surely not in the mind of the Legisla ture in 1887, nor the thing that body was then legislating for That the Bepublican leaders already per ceive the importance of the question is suf ficiently shown by their communications to our Harrisburg correspondent That they will eventually prepare to meet it in the only way possible by providing for an extra session of the Legislature is also likely unless indeed, they expect the amend ment to be defeated at the polls. GIELS CAN'T BE TRUSTED. There is no reason to believe that the latest thing in trusts, a so-called "Best Girl Trust," which some young men at Adrian College, Michigan, have organized, will do much harm. The organizers of the trust have selected an equal number of young women, students in the collefe, and to each young man one of these girls has been as signed. According to the provisions of the trust each young man must monopolize the society ol the fair student assigned to him, allowing no other fellow to escort her at any time, under severe penalties, in which a coalshed and social disgrace figure. The monopoly of any given girl only lasts a month, and at the end of that period each man must trade girls with any other mem ber of the trust who may call upon him to do so. The young male students mayf have an idea that such a scheme could be carried out, but we are sure that the fair objects of the trust will speedily rid them of the de lusion. On the face of it the trust is an impossibility. "What girl sophomore, se nior or graduate would allow any committee of young men to portion off her affections in the way proposed? The sanguine young men of Adrian College have probably dis covered that, however they may propose, it is the young woman who does the disposing. And we will warrant that the "Best Girl Trust" has been disposed of very summarily 'ere this. Girls cannot be trusted in that sense of the term. It appears that when the break came in the Minnesota Senatorship fight, Igna tius Donnelly only succeeded in holding on to four votes. This is asserted to cast dis credit upon the Bacon theory of Shakes peare; but it is not clear evidence that Don nelly did not get some of the pork. The legislators of various States are now busily engaged in introducing bills to drive various monopolies into the corner except the lawmakers of this State, who seem to be engaged in exactly the opposite operation. Possibly the Pennsylvania bills, apparently designed to create monopolies, will not pass in any greater number than those of other States designed to abolish them; but it would be pleasant to have some better pro tection in that respect than legislative indo lence. Governor FowXE, of North Carolina, end Governor Eagle, of Arkansas, ought to be able, jointly, to make a spread of them selves especially after the former has made the proverbial remark to the latter, which attaches to his office. It is interesting to hear that the real name of Pawnee Bill who is proposing to lead the movement to steal the Oklahoma lands, is Lillie, and that he is also known as the Oklahoma Lily. If he should get on the lauds in defiance of law and the Government, it will become the duty of the troops to pluck that lily up by the roots. Pixtsbtteg will he more likely than ever to recognize the crying need for an honest count, in matters matrimonial as well as political. There is promise of improvement in the Southern situation when we find the Atlanta Constitution earnestly asking this conun drum: "Is it strictly in the line of chivalry for a mob of Southern white men to jump on one negro and do him to death?" If newspapers can ask such questions in the South without getting mobbed, it is possible that the light of the answer to them may begin to penetrate the Southern mind. TnE announcement that the most elabor ate fireworks ever seen in this country will illuminate the inauguration of President Harrison may be made good by the pyro technics after the Cabinet announcements are published. The pilgrimages of Pennsylvania poli ticians to "Washington for the purpose of seeing Senator Quay, bear a miniature re semblance to the trips of national politicians to Indianapolis. Of course the only pur pose of either class is "to make a social call;" and the resemblance is probably com pleted by the fact that the objects of both pilgrimages have a wonderful genius of holding their tongues. Ella "Wheelee Wilcox promises to swear off writing poetry when she reaches the age of forty. Despite the fear that she means to stop only when she admits she is forty, the public will live in hope. Me. Biuce is said to be ambitious to succeed Mr. Payne in the Ohio Senator ship. It appears that Mr. Brice has the same qualifications which elected Mr.Payne, in the shape of a big barrel. It is also true that Mr. Brice could make as good speeches as any that Mr. Payne has made during the past five years. The South Penn is like Banquo's Ghost. However, the Macbeths of the Pennsylvania Bailroad may abjure it, it will not down. Balfour's improvement on his former policy by imprisoning Scotch members of Parliament as well as Irish, shows progress toward an ideal Tory government. By the time that he has all the opposition, whether Irish, Scotch or English, safely in prison, the task of governing ought to run very easily. PROMINENT PEOPLE. General. Butler has become a more per sistent cigar-chower than ever. Colonel Henry Watterson yesterday accepted the invitation of the Harlem Demo cratic Club to respond to the toast, "Memory of Tilaen," at the club's Tildcn memorial ban quet in Now York next month. Me. SprRQEOK, the celebrated Baptist preacher, is unablo to take exercise at Mentono because of the swelling of his feet. It was fre quently his 'custom, or rather his necessity, to preach to his London congregation with one leg resting for support on a pulpit chair. The name of tho Arab leader at Suakim is sometimes but incorrectly called Osman Digma. It is properly Osman Digna; or, as the natives there pronounce it, Dikna. The second name is from the Arab 'dikn," meaning a beard, and was given to Osman on account of the heavy beard that adorns his chin. Sin Robert Burnett David Morier, P. C, G. C. M. G., K. C. B., LL. D., tho British diplomatist, whom Count Herbert Bismarck and the "reptile press" havo been slandering so ferociously, is a splendid physical specimen of manhood. He is over six feet high, finely proportioned, and full of dignity and energy. In private lifo the late Lord Eversley was ex tremely popular. He was a great sportsman, and he and Sir BobertPeel were rival shots, and two of the best game shots in England. When they shot together, as they often did, at Strathfieldsaye, they were generally the two favorites, on one or tho other of whom the keepers used to lay their money. In cover shooting Lord Eversley preferred walking with tho beaters, Sir Robert, who disliked being rumpled, taking the outside. Ho enjoyed years of well-earned repose after his retirement from public life, but seldom took part in the busi ness of the Upper House. ROMANCE OP A SCOUT. The Grave of Texas Jack to bo Carefully Looked After, Special Telegram to the Dispatch. New York, January 21. The traveling com pany of comedians, headed by the Daly Broth ers, recently visited Denver. Whilo there the two Daly boys were informed that the grave of a former actor and famous scout, "Texas Jack," bad been in a neglected condition for months. They immediately made generous ar rangements with the keeper of Evergreen Cemetery, in that city, and the plot will here after be carefully looked after. Nearly every actor in the country, all border men, ana a great many other people will remember Texas Jack. He was born John B. Omohundro, from Spanish and Indian stock, and after a bravo career as a scout be became a fellow actor with .Buffalo Bill, sharing with the latter much celebrity in this city, when they were first lion ized here. Jack was the favorite scout and guide of the Earl of Dunraven. Years ago he loved and wedded Morlacchi, a dark-eyed dancer, famous in her day, and wealthy, too. He died in Den ver ten or a dozen years ago, and was buried with military honors. Morlacchi soon went into retirement and passed away about 18S6, at Lowell, Mass. POTTERS' ANNUAL MEETING. A Large Representation in Attendance From Cast Liverpool. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. Washington, January 21. The Potters' Association will hold its initial meeting at Wiilard's Hotel to-morrow, and it promises to be even more numerously attended than that of last year. Nearly all of the leading potters of New Jersey are here, and a large representa tion from East Liverpool, most of whom are accompanied by their families. Following are those already registered from East Liverpool: Homer Laugblin, William Brunt, Joseph C. Chetwynd, W. Harkcr, J. H. and B. C. Simms, John W. Vodrey, John Purinton. John Rowp, John H. Mountford, J. K. Way, N. A. Fred crick. Mr. Alfred Day, Secretary of the asso ciation, is registered lrom Steubenville. The East Liverpool visitors made up a party of 20 this evening, and occupied several of the best boxes at the Grand Opera House, where Maggie Mitchell is presenting her new drama, "Ray," and enjoyed the play hugely. As usual, the meeting of the association will end with a grand banquet ARRIYAL OP ALBANI. Tho Noted Soprano in New York, With Several of ncr Company. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. New York, January 2L Madame Albani and several members of her concert company arrived here on tho steamship Servia this morning. It is expected that several oratorios will bo rendered in New York during the Lenten season, with Albani in the soprano roles. Among Albani's companions are M. Barring ton Foote," basso; Mile. Damian. contralto: Signer Messlml, tenor: M. Barrett, flute, and Signor Bevigani, musical director and accom panist. AN OFFICIAL MAP TO BE HAD. The Government Publishes One for Sale at n Nominal Price. Washington, January 2L Commissioner Stockslager, of the General Land Office, has just published a large and complete map of the United States, copies of which he is au thorized to sell to schools, libraries and to the public generally at 51 23 each, free of carriage. The map is about 5x( feet and is backed with cloth. The price at which they are of fered represents their net cost to the Govern ment. Want to Buy Cuba. Washington, January 2L Senator Davis presented to-day a petition signed by Hon. P. Cudmore and 274 other citizens of Faribault, Minn., praying that steps be taken by the United States Government for the .purchase from Spain of the Island of Cuba, Bef erred. ' THE TOPICAL TALKER. There's Time for. Plenty of Winter Yet A Cold Day for n Poker Flayer. "Perhaps a repetition of the winter of 1855-fl is in store for us," said a Flttsburger with a long memory yesterday. "In the au tumn of 1855 I remember the weather kept warm, and even summer-like, and winter didn't put in an appearance when the calendar called for it. Building proceeded without interrup tion till after Christmas, but about the begin ning of the year 1856 frost and snow descended upon us, and for three solid months there was good sleighing, I remember seeing Captain Schenley, who spent that winter here with his wife, swell around in a four-horse sleigh, whilo, by the way of contrast, old Jim Farke, who, of course, was one of the most important citizens in this community then, rigged up a crate as a sleigh, and drovo all over town in it" The fall of snow in Pittsburg seems to have been strangely less than that noted only a few miles outsido the city limits. At a spot not more than five miles from the Pittsburg post office the snowfall by actual measurement was 4K inches, and at another place less than 20 miles distant from Pittsburg, though in Beaver county, I know by painful experienco that tho snow was not less than five inches deep. This variation in the depth of snow after a storm so general in its character seems a trifle peculiar. There was no high wind to drive it into drifts, cither. Talking of this cheerful and novel subject tho weather, havo you observed the delicious lucubrations of the Signal Service bureau for the last 6U hoursT On Sunday morning the United States weather prophet bade us expect generally fair and warmer weather, and yester day morning, with snow falling, the cheery In timation from the same quarter that we should have clearing weather was equally accept able. V FniL Dwyer, tho toll-taker at tho Point BriJgoover tho Monongahcla river, has had any number of queer experiences with pas sengers, but one of the funniest came to him a few weeks ago during the Christmas holi days. A good many country folk from this and Washington connty get off tho Panhandle trains and cross into Pittsburg by the Point bridge, and most of them are prone to chat with Mr. Dwyer as they pay their toll. Ono day shortly after Christmas a Washington county farmer camo to tho toll-gate in the morning. After remarking what unseasona ble weather it was, the old farmer became con fidential and informed Mr. Dwyer that he had just given his wife the slip and sent her home to Little Washington, so that he might enjoy a day in town. "When I was a lad I could play a tidy, stiff game of poker," said the old man. "and I've got $75 which I mean to double before I go home to-night ir I can find anyone to play with in Pittsburg." Then tho old man passed on across tho bridge. That night Mr. Dwyer, according to custom, went to the other end of the bridge, the Pitts burg end that is, and at a very- late hour the same old farmer, with weariness and pain written in his clothes as well as his counte nance presented himself. There was no need of explanation; it was quito clear that tho old farmer and his 73 had parted company. "Kin you lend men 85?" the old man said piteously to the toll-keeper, "them players in Pittsburg are too dum smart for me!" THE LIFE OP CERTAIN PATENTS. An Important Decision of tho Supremo Conrt, of Interest to Many. Washington, January 21. The Supremo Court of the United States to-day rendered an opinion in the important patent case of the Bato Befrigerating Company, applicant vs George Hammond & Co., appeal from the Cir cuit Court of tho United States for the district of Massachusetts. By statute of the United States it is provided that when a patent is taken out in a foreign country, and one subse quently is also secured in this country, the patent shall expire in the United States with the expiration of the patent in the foreign country in which it first runs out. Under the Canadian laws patents aro granted for five years, with the privilege of renewal for two periods of five years each. The question in this case was whether the lifetime of the American patent expired fivo years frofk its issuance in Canada, or at tho end of 15 years, which is the limit to which the life of a patent may be extended in Canada. The Supreme Court, through Justice Blatch ford holds that the patent in the United States does not expire for 15 years from the granting of the patent; that is to say, the lifetime of an American patent, first taken out in a foreign country, does not expiro until tho extreme limit of time for which an extension of patent may be secured in tho foreign country. The Court, therefore, reverses the decision of tho Circuit Court of Massachusetts and remands tho case to the lower court, with instructions to enter a decree in accordance with the judg ment of this court. The case is regarded by persons interested in patents as one of great importance. Many eloctrical patents are affected by tho decision. A TRUST'S PROTEGE, For Which a Receiver Is Asked to Wind Up Its Affairs. New York, January 21 General Roger A. Pryor and William Lardner, representing the Attorney General of the State in the litigation to annul tho charter of the North River Sugar Refining Company for its connection with the Sugar Trusts, which Judge Barrett held to be illegal, to-day applied to Judgo Barrett for a judgment in accordance with the decision re cently given, declaring tho company's charter forfeited. Mr. Lardner contended that tho code provided for the entry of such a judg ment. General Pryor supported Mr. Lardner, and said that he should move for tho appoint ment of a receiver of the company. John E. Parsons, for the company, objected to tho appointment of a receiver at present. He suggested that this question be laid over temporarily, intimating that they could agree upon a receiver. General Pryor, whilo making no objection to this proposition, gave Mr. Par sons to understand that if he had any idea that the appointment of an officer of the com pany might bo agreed upon he was greatly mistaken. He said ho should certainly oppose the appointment of any person connected with the company. Jndge Barrett reserved decision, THE WILL OF MRS. JAY GOULD. Each of Tier Children to TJavo the Incomo or $30,000 for Life. New York, January 21. The will of Mrs. Helen S. Gould, the wifo of Jay Gould, was filed in tho Surrogate's Court to-day. It was execnted November fi, 1877, and tho execntors are Jay Gould and tho decedent's brother, Daniel S. Miller, Jr. She bequeaths all her jewelry, wearing apparel and silverware to her two daughters, Helen M. and Anna Gould. The will sets apart a fund of $30,000 for each of the children. It is to bo invested by the ex ecutors and the securities deposited in tho United States Trust Company for safo keep ing. Tho Income is to be paid to each child for life. Upon the death of either the principal is to go to his or her issue. All the real and per sonal property is to bo divided between the children, share and share alike. A RATHER NEAT LOT. Detention at Castle Garden of 110 Alsatians Worth $100 Encb. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. New York. January 21. The 110 Alsatians who came to America to cultivate Mr. Storm's tobacco plantation in Florida aro still detained at Castle Garden, despite Mr. Storm's protests that they are not contract laborers. They will be examined to-morrow. They are a clean and able-bodied lot of immi grants, and each of them have $100 or more. With the consent of Collector Magone, they hope to sail for Florida to-morrow. DEATHS OP A DAY. Mrs. Martha Slokcly. At the advanced age of 78 years, Mrs. Martha Stokely, a lady well known and highly respected for ber womanly and Christian character, died at her home, IIS Bluff street, of general debility. Deceased was born and raised In West Newton, and came to Pittsburg with her husband and family of 12 chlldren"durlng the war, all of whom have died except two tons, Joseph and Nick, both engaged in the drug business, and two daughters. Merrick Loir. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. Erie, January 21. Merrick Low, one of Erie's most prominent citizens, died suddenly to-day of heart disease. Mr. Low was In his 70th year, and had recently been bereaved by the death of his wife. He was one of the pioneer millers In this atrbiuu ui iuu vvuuiry. GLOVER'S CABEEB. The Rise and Fall of an Ambitions Missouri Politician-He Wanted to be Governor, But Was Unablo to Make It. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. Washington, D. C, January 21. Ono of the members of the House who will not be a member of the next House, and who, like a number of his kind, does not seem to be in the least interested in the subsequent proceedings, is "Little Johnny" Glover, of Missouri. Tho rise, career and end of Mr. Glover is almost tragic. It is certainly pathetic. Glover is a son of Samuel Glover, in his day one of tho most influential Democratic politicians in Mis souri, and who himself served several terms in Congress. Consequently the son fell naturally into politics and Congress. The son has all of the eloquence of the father. Perhaps he was oven his superior in vigor of expression. He is a little, stoop-shoulaered, insignificant man In personal appearance, but he has a remarkable, massive, bulldog jaw, and an extraordinary frontal development of the cranium. He was eleeted to Congress. It cost him a good deal of money, and he is not a good financier. Here in society he met the daughtor of a wealthy widow and married her. Mrs. Patton, the lady referred to, was the widow of a Callforman who had made millions in tho mines. Like many of those Croesuses of tho mountain streams and caverns. Mr. Patton w as not a gentleman of broad culture. He and the partner or uis poverty and rlcnes pariooitoi the nature of thorough life, and in their sub sequent Iuxnry found themselves too old to take on the fine polish of idle and polite so ciety. A few years ago Mrs. Patton, having be come a widow, removed to Washington with her seven marriageable daughters, built a mag nificent residence at the terminus of Massa chusetts avenue, kept open house, was em phatically "in the swim." The first marriage celebrated in that brick palace was that of the Hon. John Glover and Miss Patton. But Mrs. Patton was exceedingly ambitious to have her family allied to a higher official, as she viewed official rank, than a member of "the Houso of Representatives. Her new son-in-law was also ambitious. Their aspirations lay in the samo direction. Examination of the roads leading to fame and social distinction led to a mutual decision that "Johnny" should make the can vass for tho gubernatorial nomination for Mis souri, and once Governor, use his power and distinction in that position to accomplish his election to the United States Senate. To have a United States Senator in the fam ily and move in the circle assured by such an alliance, was the final goal of the ambitions of the family of the late Mr. Patton. Mr. Glover found himself confronted for the guberna torial nomination by the young, rich, popular and aggressive Mayor Francis, of St. Louis. It would take money to win a victory over such an opponent, but Mrs. Patton was willing to pay to have a son-in-law a Governor and Sena tor. Tho canvass was fierce. Money was poured out like water. Forovery dollar spent by Glover Francis flung out two. As a nat ural consequence when the convention was held Glover had a beggardly exhibit of less than a dozen votes. He had spent $50,000 of his mother-in-law's money and had not got a scent of the odor of the gubernatorial ban queting board. Francis spent 80,000, but his liberality paid. .What a vast gulf between success and failure. If Glover had got the nomination he might easily have marked out his ambition and that of his wealthy mother-in-law. Now ho finds himself without tho Governorship, the Senato rial chair lost forever, his career in the Lower House ended, not a single hopo of official preferment left, his mother-in-law, who helped to lay the foundation of his magnificent plans, called away by death, his affairs involved, a quarrel between him and his sister-in-law, which is already in the courts. It seems that tho late Mrs. Patton gave Mrs. Glover $100,000 soon after the marriage of the latter. The other heirs claim that this was intended by their mother to be the entire por tion of Mrs. Glover, and they now sue Mr. Glover for the 50,000 given to him to secure the Governorship and work out his final ambition. This seems rather hard, as Mrs. Patton was to share in the glory of his success; but such i3 life. It is hard to forgive failure. But this is foreign to the story. The point is that six months ago Mr. Glover was on the high road to fame, full of hope and enthu siasm. Now he is forever extinguished, and rarely thinks enough of his future to even make his appearance on the floor of that chamber from which ho will finally pass away on the 4th of March. E. W. L. OUR MAIL POUCH. The Telocity of Light. To the Editor of the Dispatch: By whom and how was tho velocity of light discovered? J. B. W. Altoona, January 20. The Danish astronomer, Olaus Romer, mado the discovery of the velocity of light whilo taking observations of tho eclipse of Jupiter's satellites in 1C7C. He found that the eclipses of the satellites seemed to be retarded as the earth moved farther away from the planet; that they occurred too soon when the earth was nearest and too late when it was farthest away from Jupiter. The astronomer found that this retardation of the occurrence of the eclipses could only be accounted for satisfactorily by the time that the light would take in crossing the earth's orbit, and that calculating the time occupied in accomplishing this, the velocity of light was 192,500 miles a second. The best de terminations made by the more accurate ob servations of modern times make the velocity about 186,300 miles a second. Something About Quicksand. To the Editor of the Dispatch : Please give me some information about quicksand. M. J. Pittsbtbg, January 21. IQuicksand is found in nearly all parts of tho country, but in very great quantity along the Platte river, in Nebraska. It is composed principally of mica, or small particles of rock disintegrated from large bodies of rock and subjected to a continuous washing process. The water removes all the raggedness or angu lar shape from the particles. The fragments become smooth and slimy and sup upon each other with the greatest facility, so that any heavy weight resting upon this sand causes tho particles to be displaced. They separate from tho center, allowing the weight to sink until a solid basis is reached. When particles of sand are ragged and angular any weight pressing on them will crowd them together until they are compacted into a solid mass. A sand com posed of mica, or soapstone, mixed with water, seems incapable of such consolidation. Doctrines oi Tiieosophy. To the Editor of the Dispatch: What aro the doctrines of theosophy, as taught by Mme. Blavatsky? James K. Allegheny, January 21. The chief doctrine is, believe in Mme. Bla vatsky. The name Theosophy is composed of two Greek words, meaning knowledge of God. Theosophy is a sort of spiritualism, mingled with Buddhism. Mme. Blavatsky teaches her victims that by due contemplation of and com munion with God they may become spiritually exalted, become possessed of occult powers, and in proportion as their physical chains grow lighter they may be nearer and nearer to the Great Power. Arctic Flowers. To the Editor of the Dispatch: Have flowers ever been found in the Antarc tic regions? Flowers. Allegheny, January 21. No, but In the Arctic region thero are 7G2 varieties of Towers, but their colors are not so bright or varied as in warmer regions. Tho First Eclipse of tho Moon. To the Editor of the Dlspatcn: What is the first record wo have of the eclipse of the moon? Nemo. , Beaver, January 20. It is recorded that the Chaldeans observed an eclipse of the moon at Babylon on March 19, 720 B. C A LARGE LIBRARY. Is What a Butler Editor Calls This Journal. From the Butler Citizen. J A "big" paper all round is The Pittsburg Dispatch broad in its views, unapproached in the amount of genuine news it puts before its readers, and high in its standard of that news. It takes the place of a tolerably large library for its many thousand readers for what science or art or fiction is not represented and treated of in its columns? We feel justified in saying that it is a paper for the people. Scientific View of a Wind mine. From the Norrlstown Herald. A man in Butler, Kan., whilo boring for water, struck what he thinks Is a wind mine. A, local scientist of considerable reputation, however, advances the theory that his augur struck a woman's rights convention on the other side of the globe. AT THE THEATERS. La Toscs, She and Other Dramatic Events of Last Night. There was a man whom we once knew who would rather go to a hanging than his dinner; who doted on scaffolds, nooses and trap-doors, and could describe to anyone who would listen the demeanor of 60 criminals in the presence of death. This man is no longer on this earth, or he might rejoice that in "La Tosca" he could find all the delicate refined delights that the most long-drawn-out hanging could afford. Sardou is not prone to niceness, and it is un usual for him to doff his hat to decency. When he has caught a plot, or the episode of a plot, which strikes him as being powerful he is apt to write the play first, and let the critics tell him afterward, if they have a mind to, how many outrages against morality, religion and common decency ho has committed in the ac tion and tho dialogue. There is a splendid ex hibition of this contemptuous disregard for the things most men still think should be respect ed In M. Victorlen Sardon's dram?. "La Tosca." The lowest vilest and most violent of man's passions are knit across and across the web of the story of the Italian singer. There is not a breath of anything that is pure and sweet in it. Even the action of Fiona Tosca in murdering the infamous Scarpia, which seems noble by contrast with its context, is inspired by feelings which are hideously out of place in a woman's breast except at the last foothold before the precipice. There Is power in the convergence of tho direct motives of the plot: several situa tions show the wonderful constructive genius of the dramatist, but "La Tosca" Is not, in our judgment a work of high art, because, besido portraying life truthfully, the tendency of the dramatic picture should be ennobling, elevating and healthful to the beholders. It Is sheer nonsense to think of "La Tosca" benefiting a living soul. Miss Fanny Davenport presented Floria Tosca to a large audience at the Grand Opera House last night. Miss Davenport possesses many qualifications for the embodiment of this character. She has evidently given all ber energies and great study to the part The re suit is that her acting is finished in detail and carefully jointed together. Where she falls to terrify or distress and she has little else to do for the spectators it is due to her natural defects and not to any negligence of hers. Sne bears her years well and is comely to a degree, and pleasing to many. Her great efforts occur in the third act where she hears and at last saves her lover who is being tor tured in an adjoinlaj room and her anguish was distressing without evoking that degree of sympathy tho episode justified in the fourth act when she bargains with Scarpia for her lover's lite, and again in the last act when she discovers that her lover is really dead. Nc doubt the work of Miss Davenport de serves commendation. In some of the few light touches which the character permits her to exhibit the quality of her comedy was high. It was so spontaneous. But in the heavier por tions of her work she made the common mis take of expressing awful emotions with gross vocal disturbances. The highest indignation does not necessarily seek expression in a bel lowing. Nor can a situation be made great by slipping through a series of statuesque poses strangely suggestive of sitting for a lithograph. And it must be said that there is a vulgarity in Miss Davenport's .work at tunes which is really painful. Miss Davenport's dresses are becoming al ways, and they are very costly. Her jewels also are plentiful and gorgeous. The Scarpia of Melbourne McDowell is un doubtedly a masterly study and portraiture. Sardou, we should imagine, would like Mr. McDowell's conception of the character. That is precisely why Mr. McDowell is likely to turn tho stomachs of most men and women who see him. Tho fidelity of the picture of a lecherous brute which he gives is so great that the bounds of decency are oversteppod several times. Tho rest of the cast, though fairly competent, is not remarkablo for individual brilliancy. Perhaps Mr. Ross would make it easier to understand why La Tosca loved Mario Cavaradossi so dearly if his wig and forehead came to more even terms. In this hurried review of an important event much must be necessarily left unsaid which it would be well to say. For instance, there is considerable ground for the belief that the in. troduction of much realism in the church scene is an offense against good taste to say the least. A Roman Catholic might regard the offense as graver still. But this is largely a matter to be left to the judgment of the indi vidual. The scenery was not well placed upon the stage. Is it not possible for Manager Wilt to give tho public something better in the shape of a programme? The two sheets supposed to be a programme of "La Tosca" last night, did not even specify the number of acts in the play, and not a syllable of description was there of the scenes. Such a makeshift of a programme is worse than nothing at all. It is a disgrace to a theater which claims to be first-class. BUou Theater. "She," as presented at tbeBlJou Theater last night is tbo same weird and fantastic produc tion, on a somewhat grander scale, that was seen here last season. The scenic effects were superb, and it is donbtful if -anything surpass ing the barbaric splendor of the underground palace of Aycsha has ever been on a Pittsburg stage. The choruses, by a numerous band of Arabs and Amhaggar, were most pleasing and peculiar. The female element predominates; tbo girls are pretty and their costumes rich. The staging was admirable and the play in tensely Interesting throughout Of course it is the spectacular effects which have made this curious play, introducing im possible Africans and genuine Englishmen and Americans, so successful and popular. Yet the company is a strong one, quite capable, ap parently, of better work than is required in this nondescript but remarkable piece. Miss Laura Clemedt, who took the leading role, is a fine-looking woman, and, though not a great actress, made a decided ly favorable impression. The best talent in the cast belongs to Miss Tellula Evans, who, as Ustane, gave evidence of con siderable dramatic power. Mr. M. B. Snyder was dignified and manly as Horace Holly, while Mr. William S. Harkins, in the character of Leo Vincent, appeared to excellent advant age. Mr. Charles Bowser personated Martin Brown, the American drummer, in a manner that brought roars of laughter from all parts of the house. The tableaux were marvels in their way, and alone worth going to sec. Thero was a good house. Hnrrls' Theater. An audience that is perfectly satisfied with a play after waiting three-quarters of an hour for tho curtain to rise 'must have witnessed something a little above tho ordinary. And that's just what the audience at Harris Thea ter did at yesterday's matinee. The night per formance began a little nearer the scheduled time. This delay was something unusual for this house, where the performances begin promptly on time, but the romantic melo drama, "The Romany Rye," was given so ex cellently in every respect that the packed houso soon forgot its impatience. James L. Edwards, as the hero, the gipsy gentleman, was an ideal heroic in voice, appearance and mannerand- the largo company and beautiful scenery furnished by Mr. fl. R- Jacobs are as good as conld be asked for. Only three more matinees will be given of this play, on Wednes day, Friday and Saturday. Academy of Blatlc. Is there anyone who cares for variety per formances who does not know what to expect when the Rentz-Santley company Is announced at the Academy of Music? Tho faces, the forms, the burlesque business and the feminine specialties that have always been associated with the names Rentz-Santley. are to be found in the same quarter still. Of its kind it is un equaled, and a large audience testified its ap proval of the performance last night. The Casino Museum. There is a big aggregation of vaudeville artists at this popular little temple- of amuse ment this week, beaded by Heally and Saunders, and comprehending many others of note. In the curio hall there are several nov elties, including a White Cap victim. HER HEART'S ALL EIGHT. Lilllao Russell Does a Kind Act, If It is a Card for Her. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. New York, January 21. A few days ago a stage hand at the Casino Theater hung his new overcoat on a peg near tho street door, before he began shifting scenery for the rehearsal of "Nadjy." Afewminntes later it was stolen. The man made a big stir about it, and said the coat cost him two weeks' wages. Lillian Rus sell heard him say it. She gave another stage hand $20 and told him to buy an overcoat just like the missing one as soon as he could. When the man brought back the new coat Miss Russell hung it np on the same peg nejr the door. Hut she didn't go away and leave it for the next thief. She stood right by it, till the man who lost the other coat came out, kissed her hand and put on his new ulster. TnE TRIALS OF A BENEDICT. Bhe thought It wrong alone to roam, A bachelor to be: And, as I had a better home. She gave up all for met Though oft she says, when out of sorts, She will return, I know That she would sue me in the courts If I but let her go! Whene'er I come home late at night, fihe's sure to raise the deuce: And while I know I'm very tight, She swears I'm getting loosel Nor can I hope to reconcile My inconsistent dear For If I chance to tjko a smile, She says I'm on a tear ! , -tf, X, Evening Sun. JONATHAN AND HIS CONTINENT. Selections-From Max O'Rell's Bright Crill. cisms on Americans and Tbelr Manners Food for Laughter Peppered With Truth. Nothing is ordinary in America. Tho ordinary American himself is extraordin arily extraordinary. Meeting you in a railway carriago ho will ask yon point blank where you are going, what you are doing and whore you come from. By de grees ho grows bolder, ana n tne xancy takes him he will touch the cloth of your coat and ask "what yon gave for that" He has not tho least intention of being disagreeable. He, on bla part, will give you all tho information yon care to have about himself. He takes it for granted that you are as inquisitive as he Is, and he is ready to satisfy your curiosity. He 13 obliging. r This man, whom yon began by taking for some Ignorant babbler, presently gives to ms conversation a turn that astonishes you. He speaks to you of France in a way which shows you that he is conversant with all that is going on there. The sayings and doings of General "Bolangere" are familiar to him. He knows the names of the chief members of the French Ministry. He is Interested fn M. Pasteur's re searches; he h3s read a review and an account of M. Ernest Renan's last book, and of M. Victorlen Sardou's latest play. He has judicious remarks to make upon literature. He knows his Shakespeare as not one Frenchman of his class knows Cornell! e, Racine, Mollere or Victor Hugo. You discover that he fs well read, this man who says I come for I came, you was, you hadn't ought, I don't know as 1 do, etc. He can give you information about his .country as useful as it is exact. He talks politics even foreign politics like a man of sense. Ho is far more enlightened on the Irish question than people are generally in England. . If the American thirsts after money, it Is not for the love of money, as a rule, but for the love of that which money can bay. In other words, avarice Is a vice almost unknown in America. Jonathan does not amass gold for the pleasure of adding pile to pile and counting it. He pursues wealth to improve his position In life and to surround those dependent upon him with advantages and luxuries. He spends his money as gayly as he pockets it especially when it is a question of gratifying his wife or daughters, who are the objects of his most as siduous attention. He Is the first to admit that their love for diamonds is as absurd as it is costly, but he is good-humored, and say3: "Sinco they like them, why should they not have them?" In Europe thero is a false notion that Jona than thinks only of money, that he passes his life in the worship of tho.'-almlghty dollar." It is an error. I believe that at heart he cares but little for money. If a millionaire inspires respect it is as much for the activity and talent he has displayed in the winning of his fortune as for the dollars themselves. An American, who had nnthimr htlt his ilnllars tn hnnut of. -- - .. might easily see all English doors open to him, but his millions alone would not give him the entree into the best society of Boston and New York. There he would be requested to produce some other recommendation. An American girl who was rich, but plain and stupid, would always find some English duke, French marquis or Italian count ready to marry her, but she will have great difficulty in finding an American gentleman who would look upon her fortune or her dot as a sufficient indemnity. .. The beauty of the American women, like that of the men, is due ouch more to the animation of the face than to form or coloring. The aver ago ot good looks is very high, indeed. I do not remember to have seen one hopelessly plain woman during my six months' ramble through the States. American women generally enjoy that second youth which nature bestows also on numbers of French women. At 40 they bloom out into a more majestic beauty. The eyes retain their fire and lu3ter, the skin does not wrinkle, the hands, neck and arms remain firm and white. It Is true that in America hair turns gray early, but, so far from detracting from the woman's charms, it gives her an air of distinction, and is often positively an attrac tion. . That which is lacking in the pretty American faces of the East is color and freshness. The complexion Is pale, and it is only their plump ness which comes to their rescue after SO and prevents them from looking faded. Those who remain thin generally fade quickly; the com plexion becomes the color of whitey-brown paper, and wrinkles freely. If American womc'nVent in tor more outdoor exercise; if they let the outer air penetiate constantly into their rooms; if they gavo up living in hothouses they would have some color, and their beauty need perhaps fear no competition' in Europe. . If good style consists in not doing what the vulgar do, good style in America ought to con sist for one thing in wearing no diamonds un less democracy should demand this sign of equality. Diamonds are worn by tho woman of fashion, the tradesman's wife, shop girls, .work girls, servants all the womankind. If you see a shabbily-dressed woman who has not a pair in her ears you may take it for granted that she has put them in pawn. Naturally, in America, as elsewhere, all that sparkles is not diamond. There is a pronounced childish side to the character of all Americans. In less than a century they have stridden ahead of ail the na tions of the Old World; they are astonished at their own handiwork, and, like children with a splendid toy of their own manufacture in their hands, they say to you. "Look, just look, is it not a beauty?" And, indeed, the fact is that, for him who will look at it with unprejudiced eyes, the achievement is simply marvelous. . Should a minister indulge in unorthodox the ories in the pulpit, the Eastern man will con tent himself with shaking his head and going to another church to perform his devotions the Sunday after. The Pennsylvanian will open a violent polemic in the newspapers of the locals ty. The Kansas man will wait for the minister at the church door and give him a sound thrashing. .. American hospitality is princely. You are not of ten invited, even in houses where tho daily menu is of the most appetizing, to go and sharo the family dinner. You are not invited to dine, a fete is got up for you. If this cannot be arranged, you may not be invited at all. America suffers from this state of things. The country's genius, instead of consecrating all its time to the production of works which would tend to elevate the Ideas and aspirations of the people, is obliged to think of money making. . To the American woman the diamond is not an object of luxury, it is an object of prime necessity. An English old maid would do with out ber tea before an American woman would go without diamonds. The well-bred American is to my mind a happy combination ot the Frenchman and the Englishman, having less stiffness than the lat ter and more simplicity than the former. ,. The character of tho American is English from the point ot view of its contrasts and con tradictions, which aro still more accentuated in him than in the Englishman. This necessity for being rich is the reverse side of tbo medal in America, where, more than anywhere else, talent without money is a use less toot The American may be eccentric, or what you will, but he is never monotonous. K0T A MERE FIGUEEHEAD. Brooklyn's Famous Invalid at the nend of a Manufacturing Concern. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. Brooklyn, N. Y., January 2L Nearly a year ago Miss Mollio Fancher, the famons invalid of Brooklyn, became the Vice Presi dent of the Sargent Manufacturing Company, a concern in this city that makes and deals in goods designed for the comfort of sick people. Ever since that time all the meetings of tbo company have been held in the lady's darkened chamber, from which she has not stirred for 23 years. The fact that she thus becamo con nected with a manufacturing enterprise was kept from the public out of respect to her sen tiveness. Of course it came out after a time, and it reveals more than ever the remarkable genius of the invalid. Said Mr. George K. Sargent, the President of the company, to-day: "Miss Fancher is no figurehead in this con cern, but one of the most active and valuable members. She knows all about the sufferings of invalids, and just how to relieve them. We had and have no desire to make any capital out of the use of Miss Fancber's name; she is ex ceedingly sensitive about parading her sufferings." CUEI0DS CONDENSATIONS. " Of the 198 members of the Illinois Leg islature, 123 were born outside the State. A little boy living in Bondout, K. Y., was attacked with a severe cold last week, wftich brought on a fever, and he was booked by the family physician for a long illness. HU thirst however, gave him a craving for oranges, and his mother indulged his appetite ti'l he had swallowed four very "large ones. The next morning the fever was gone and the little fel low was prancing about the house in good spirits. This was three days ago. The cold re mains, but the fever has not returned. Mere is a little yellow bee in Honduras that is Tcry much like the little yellow flies found about corn silks. The bees are without stings, and the most industrious little insects imaginable. They build in hollows in trees and wherever they can find a lodgment and they gather a double handful of honey of delicious flavor in these nests of rough comb. So plenti ful are they that a person can take a hatchet and cut into the knot hole in the trees and soon collect all the honey he wants tOTfithout the danger of being stung by the bees. A party of hunters while skirmishing around Green Pond, on Anastasla Island, Fku, recently for rabbit, ran into a nest of rattle snakes. There were three big Bnakes in a bunch, measuring from 8to8K feet in length. There was lively shooting for a few minutes, and when the battle was over the stench was so strong that the visitors had to retire from tha field after securing the rattles. Strange to say the largest snake had the smallest rattle, a mere stub, while the rattles from one of tho others number 15 and a button. There are two wfys of splitting a piece of paper. One is to lay the sheet of paper on a piece of glass, soak It thoroughly with water and then press it smoothly all over the glass. With a little care the under half of the sheet can be pealed off, leaving the upper half on the glass. Let this dry and it will come off the glass very easily; of course the glass must be perfectly clean. The second way Is a better one, but it requires some good practice. Paste a piece of cloth or strong paper on each side of the sheet to be split. When it is thoroughly dried pull the two pieces of cloth apart sud denly and violently. The paste can then be softened with water and the two halves of tho sheet easily taken off the cloths. Farmington, Me., has an unnatural curiosity In the line of stinginess. A young lady went Into a dentist's office a few days ago, and had her teeth examined. The doctor re ported them Badly decayed, but said that with quite a sum of money he could put them in good shape. The young lady departed, saying she would report to her husband and call again in a few days. She did so, and on her second call she was accompanied by her father, the latter telling the dentist to go ahead and he would pay the bill. Thinking the dentist might wonder why he was paying the bill the father explained that the husband had said his wife's teeth decayed before he married her and he was not going to pay for fixing them up; her father ought to do it. Solomon England, of Pocahontas coun ty, West Virginia, went hunting for bear one' day last week. He came upon one rather sud-i denly in a narrow mountain pathway, and there was mutual surprise from which bruin recov ered first. Bruin made for the hunter, and the hunter dropped his gun, made for a sapling which he climbed jnst in time to escape having a hugging match with the bear. The bear kept guard for several hours, and England, becom ing afraid that it wouldbean all-night job.began yelling for a friend who started out on the hunt with him who finally heard the calls for assist ance. He dispatched bruin with two or threo balls from bis Winchester, and England slid down off the tree. The bear weighed 350 pounds. Last week a St. John Indian named Solomon Paul, who lives on Indian Islands, Me., startled his neighbors by rushing in among; them as though 10,000 demons were pursuing nim. According to his story he was sitting alone eating his supper, as usual, when the door was suddenly swung open with a Dang, and simultaneously with it he heard the most awful hubbub in the room overhead and on the stairs, as though a ton of chains were being hurled in every direction. Asjoon as he could collect his scattered senses from the awful fright he made a mad rmsh for the open air. and couldn't be in duced to enter the house again till some of his friends volunteered to stay with him. He has no idea what it was that caused it. and his nerves are very much shattered over it. A new scheme of card telegrams is being tried in Hungary for use in districts having a postoffice, but without a telegraphic service. Card3 are sold at the postoffice at the price of 35 kreutzer for five words, excess to bo paid for by additional postage stamps, to be affixed at the corner. The telegram can be put in any letter box. and is forwarded to the near est telegraph office, and from there it is dis patched without further delay or charge. It Is not so generally known to the public as it might be that in England telegrams can be posted at any pillar box, and will be sent on from the nearest telegraph office. Some such scheme of special forms for this purpose, in the shape of card telegrams, might render this of greater practical utility, and the example of Hungary is worthy of the attention of the post office authorities. An old man living np in the mountains near Eliijay, Ga., has had his wife'3 grave sur rounded by several lightning rods. While the old lady was living, lightning struck the old man so often that he dreaded to think of even his wife's body being struck, so he bought tho rods. He's got 93 of hl3 dead wife's dresses and 33 pairs of her shoes piled up in the house, and he wouldn't sell them for anything. He is a queer customer. He's got a hat for every day in the week, and the last one of them is out of style. He wears a beaver on Sunday, whito Jaded derby on Wednesday, an old brown Tool hat on Thursday, an old-fashioned white derby on Friday and a coon skin cap on Saturday. He has 40 pairs of boots, and he Is buying new ones every week or so. Another curious thingabont the old man is that he has a mania for pocket knives and has 125 of them, and is still adding to his collection. He's a farmer, and every few days be brings a load of extra fine potatoes to sell. He won't accept any kind of money for them unless it's silver or gold. He wants hard money, and will take no other kind for his po tatoes. He recently married a 16-year-old girl, though he's 60 himself. CLIPPED BITS OF WIT. Adding Insult to Injury. First Shop ping Fiend Madam, that's my muff! Second Shopping Fiend Why, how Inexcusably stupid of me to pick up an Imitation monkey-skin. Time. A Lonesome Life. Friend (to sick man) Don't you find the long days lonesome, John, confined as you are to your bed and easy chair? Sick Man-Lonesome, friend. That doesn't ex press It. Why, the gas collector called this after noon with a six mouths gas bill, and I paid the bill and put my arms around bis neck and called him brother. Sew York Sun. Theory and Practice. Doctor io brother physician) Yes, gentlemen, the sovereign rem edy for all iUa Is fresh air. and plenty of it. Peo ple don't let enough air Into their houses. 'Well, I must hurry; I'm on an errand. Brother Physldan-Golng tar? "No, only down to the hardware store to get hair a mile of weather-stripping." -Too Xor Weekly. Uncle Berkshire Heow much be thai watch? Jeweler-Forty dollars. Uncle Berkshire En that smaller one? Jeweler Fifty dollars. Uncle Berkshire En the smallest one? Jeweler Seventy-flve dollars. Uncle Berkshire Gosh, Mister! How much tt no watch?-Jfl-' Weekly. Catering for His Wife. Countryman (to grocer) Mister, doyou keep this what d'ye call it Sweltzer cheese? It's all holes and smell. Grocer Oh, yes. Countryman Welt gimme a pound chunk orit; it's for my wife; she's very fond of it but as for me, by gum, 1 can't even eat the holes. Grocer Tell your wife to cat the holes out an' throw tbem away. The Epoch. Speaking Literally. Miss Breezy (to Prof. X, or the Natural History Museum)-Do you not think. Prof. X, that Miss Smith, at the piano there, Is a very beautiful girl? Frof. X. Er yes, Indeed, Miss Breezy, she Is exceedingly lovely. Miss Breezy I have always contended. Profes sor, that she Is one or the most beautliul girls la Chicago, and that there are no flies ou her. Prof. X. (here his profession shows Itself) Yes, Miss Breezy, but I suppose that In the summer, when the weather Is very warm, she Is naturally more or less troubled with them. Sew Xork Sun. Miscalculation. c'John,"said a wile who was supposed to be on her deathbed, "in case of my death 1 think a man of your temperament and domestic nature, aside from the good of the chil dren, ought tomarry again." Do you think so, my dear." "I certainly do, altera reasonable length of time." "Well, now, d& you know, my dear, that re lieves my mind of a great burden. The Uttlo widow Jenkins has acted rather demure, toward me ever since you were taken sick. She Is not the woman that you are. of course, a strong minded. Intelligent woman of character, but she is plump and pretty, and 1 am sure she would make me a very desirable wife." The next day Mrs. John was able to sit up, the following day she went down stairs, and ou the third day she was planning for a new dress. Hev Xork Sun. .f.-..-J.J. .,;: . . i3Ea. . Ji2uilfajJaaiiil m IMsJaBSajgiMCTsMSS'BPliSElM " -'-fWSlmstBBfetjfcjWBBWBtEWBHBMMWEBesaBmiEaZ