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THE PITTSBURG- DISPATCH, SUNDAY, JANUARY 20, 1889.
ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY S, 1S46.
Vol. , o. 313. Enured at Pittsburg Post
office, November 11. 1SS7, as second-class matter.
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PITTSBURG, SUNDAY. JAN. 20. 1SS9.
AN OUTSPOKEN VZEDICT.
The Coroner's jury, in its verdict concern
ing the Willey building disaster, cannot be
accused of falling into the usual tone of
such bodies, which is expressed in the pro
verbial verdict of "no one to blame." On
the contrary, it distributes blame to nearly
everyone connected with the work in an un
There will be few to find fanlt with the
verdict as a whole, although there may be
differences of opinion as to its details. The
case was certainly one of hasty construction
with little care for safety or anything else,
except to get up an immense building in the
shortest possible time. All who were con
nected with that sort of work should bear
the responsibility. The verdict distributes
it unsparingly but not unjustly.
There is also a public responsibility, not
onlv in respect to the duties ot the Building
Inspector, but that which is shown by the
declaration that our building laws are in
sufficient and loose. The people should take
it in hand to see all deficiencies remedied,
and complete safeguards provided against
the repetition of such disasters.
corruption and privilege, is to be false to its
profession of governing for the benefit of the
whole community; while the monarchy that
creates or enriches a nobility has at least
the aspect of sincerity. France has a habit
of correcting its abuses by revolution; and
if the half of what is told concerning the
condition of France be true, it would be not
strange if the expectation of riot in the
streets of Paris belorc the close of 1889
should be fulfilled.
This condition of affairs should have its
warning for this country. "We are less
mercurial than the French and revolution
is, happily, an unknown resort; but we
have altogether too much, in municipal.
State and National Government, and in our
economic system, of evils kindred to those
in France. The people have the power to
stop them; but it should bP the effort of
every thoughtful man to defend the stability
and increase the strength of our system, to
arouse the people to the work of putting
down corruption and preventing the opera
tion of all influences that enrich the few at
the cost of the masses.
who feel the duty of charity. Is there any
rner or higher charity than the public
effort to correct the conditions of our com
mercial or political systems which make life
harder for the working classes, and more
advantageous for the rich? In other words,
is not the best charity that which sets up
public justice against the regime of trusts,
manipulators and corncrers?
A SINGULAR BICOMMENDATION.
The argument by which the Secretary of
"War reaches the conclusion that it wifl be
too costly to improve the Ohio by movable
dams, and that therefore it is best to wait
until the traffic becomes larger, would be a
practical mockery of the hope of improving
that waterway if it were not for the obvious
fact that it is the outgrowth of complete
ignorance with reference to the subject Al
most any schoolboy along the Ohio could
have told the Secretary that the shrinkage
of that river has compelled its disuse for
'most classes of freighting and that the
traffic, with the exception of the coal ship
ments which go down on high water, have
diminished for lack of reliable navigation.
If the traffic could expand, there would be
no need of improving the river. To calmly
suggest that the improvements must wait
until the business enlarges is like recom
mending that a starving child should not be
fed until it grows strong enough to earn its
THE VITAL NEED.
The report of the Ford Committee on the
subject of pauper immigration, leaves no
question as to the magnitude of the evil.
The facts submitted place beyond dispute
the practical nullification of the law, and
the systematic pouring in upon this country
of a vast mass of the pauperized, ignorant and
vicious element of European countries.
This being admitted, the question of a
remedy becomes a vital one. The commit
tee submits a bill comprising very stringent
measures, most of which can be approved in
the abstract. But the probable value of
such legislation is reduced to a minimum
by the obvious tact that the laws which we
already have are practically a dead letter.
The report itselt shows that if the present
law had been enforced the evils could never
have reached the magnitude complained of.
"What promise docs the bill hold out that
its provisions will not also be nullified by
incompetent or dishonest officials?
This report, like the statement of a great
many other evils, should open the eyes of
qur legislators to the fact that whatlhis
country needs is not so much new laws as
to get the old ones honestly enforced.
THAT STEEET RAILWAY BILL.
An interview in another column this
morning upon the new street railway bill,
whose presentation at Harrisburg has caused
such wide comment, gives the history of the
measure. It appears to have started for the
object, commendable and proper in itself,
of protecting the capital invested in a num
ber of Pittsburg roads whose charters were
considered fatally affected by a Supreme
Court decision last fall. The declared pur
pose was simply to permit these lines to be
re-chartered legally. It is needless to say
that no one would think of objecting to that
Nobody wishes that capital should suffer
throngh some mere legal technicality; and
public sentiment would resent as totally uncalled-for
any attempt by the State authori
ties to suspend the functions of roads af
fected by a disability arising from no fanlt
of their own.
"Were this all, the bill would meet the
quiet approval which is given to every un
objectionable measure. But it seems that
Philadelphia interests insisted upon tack
ing on to it the preposterous clause practi
cally preventing the construction of any
new roads to compete with those now in ex-I
istence. "We do not know what notion may
exist among the passenger railroad people
of Philadelphia about the views of the
fancied rights of the remaining several
million persons who go to make up the
State; but, to put it mildly, it must be pre
sumed that in asking for a virtual monopoly
they had not counted upon the public inter
ests and public policy which effectually
forbid such a grant
The Dispatch is glad to be assured
that the objectionable clause did not
emanate from the passenger railways of
Pittsburg. Everybody in Pittsburg realizes
that the new brains, new enterprise and
new money infused into the local lines have
been of the greatest public benefit and con
venience. No o'ne begrudges the handsome
profits which will accrue to investors. The
companies need no assurance of effective
public support for such fair and reasonable
legislation as they may want But it would
be fatal to this feeling to persist in such
demands as those in the bill offered on
Friday. The Pennsylvania Railroad might
as well ask the exclusion of all future lines
from this State. Such a request, a little
forethought would suggest, is impolitic to
make and impossible to grant.
The bill should be restored to its original
form at once, providing for the re-chartering
of such companies as have been affected by
the Supreme Court decision. There is
probably not a man in the Legislature who
could give any good reason for voting
against it in that shape; while it is equally
true that it would puzzle the most ingenious
to make any sort of plausible pretense for
voting for it as it stands.
THE PE0HIBITI0N AMENDMENT.
The vote by which the joint resolution
submitting the prohibition amendment to
the people was made a special order for next
Tuesday leaves little doubt as to what the
vote will be, on the final passage of the reso
lution. The Republicans are fully pledged
to the submission measure, and it may be
taken as practically a foregone conclusion
that next June the people of Pennsylvania
will have a chance to vote on the question
of absolute prohibition of the liquor traffic.
The attitude or the parties on this ques
tion is rather unique. The Democrats are
openly opposed to prohibition, but are evi
dently uncertain whether it is worth their
while to oppose submission. The Republi
cans are irrevocably committed to submis
sion, but most of them will vote against
prohibition. Heretofore it was sup
posed that the submission of an amend
ment to the Constitution to popular vote
meaut that it was approved by the majority
of the Legislature. It was undoubtedly the
intent of the Constitution that it should not
be amended except in such way as should
command the approval of both the Legisla
ture and the people. Yet this amendment
is being submitted by the votes of men who
do not wish prohibition and who rely on the
people to defeat it. if they did not think
that the amendment would be defeated by
the popular vote they would no more vote
for it than his Satanic Majesty would vote
for holy water.
Of course these remarks are not intended
to apply to members like Mr. Dravo, who
are pushing the matter in good faith; but it
is a curious fact that many legislators and
politicians are supporting the measure only
because they believe that the popular vote
will reject it. It would hardly be too severe
a punishment for them if their calculations
on the popular vote should go amiss.
The Cabinet roorback is now displaying
its ability to thrust the campaign lie Into
the shade. That report that Andrew Car
negie was to be Secretary of the Interior is
the last product of the sort As it came from
abroad, it indicates the necessity of protect
ing the home industry against the pauper
f Cabinet' constructors of English journalism.
Mb. C. P. Huntington has interviewed
himself through the medium of his New
York newspaper in order to publish hi
opinion that the bill which extends the debt
of the Central Pacific 125 years at 2 percent
is just about the right thing. He advances
the proposition that the Central Pacific
ought to be better treated than the Union
Pacific because the latter makes most money.
The argument is -rather two-edged. As
very few people have made more money out
of the Pacific railroad jobs than Mr. Hunt
ington and his associates, does there not
seem to be a recoil in this argument toward
a proposition to make these eminent mil
lionaires pay up.
THE TOPICAL TALKER.
So me Odd Incidents of City Life In All Sort
"The funniest message that ever came
through my hands," said a telegraph operator
to me yesterday, "was sent by a colored bride
to her prospective bridegroom. I happened to
know the parties, who lived in a suburb ot this
city, and after 1 handled the message I inquired
and found the circumstances. The bride, it
appears, was at her home, and the wedding was
set for 4:30 o'clock in the afternoon. "When
noon came the bride became slightly nervous
and expressed her fears to her family that the
groom might have forgotten the hour. Finally
she sent the following message to bo telegraphed
to the groom:
' 'Keady and waiting, dear,
When will you be here?'
"To this an equally poetic answer came:
" To thee whom I most adore,
I'm coining at half-past four.'
"The bridegroom kept his word."
A Totrao American woman who courageous
ly accompanied her husband to the scene of
his work as a missionary in Japan wrote to a
friend of mine recently of her experiences in
her new home. She had only one complaint to
make. Here's an extract from her letter:
"I am trying to pick up enough Japanese to
control two native girls who are nominally my
servants, but really my masters. It's awfully
difficult. As yet I have only learned to say, 'It
won't do.' But I have immense use for this
phrase, for what the servants do I always have
to make them undo, or still of tener have to un
do myself. My patience is nearly exhausted
sometimes, and I think it was a happy thing
for Job that ho never lived in Japan."
"When a widower was married recently in a
place not a million miles from here, a friend of
his who encountered him on the way to the
bride's residence, called his attention to the
fact that a band of heavy crape still encircled
his silk hat
"Yes, I know that," replied the bridegroom,
"but the crape isn't half worn out yet and it Is
just as well to be prepared for the worst"
On Thursday night two inexperienced pup
pies, who are the interesting family of a pretty
little Yorkshire terrier belonging to Kate Cas
tleton, got away from their guardians, natural
arid acquired, and made their first public ap
pearance on any stage attheiJljou. They were
hailed with a hearty round of applause as they
tumbled out between the crimson plush cur
tain and the footlights, but before they could
fittingly respond an unkind fate, represented
by two stage carpenters' arms, drew them out
of sight by the hind legs.
An elder sister who was talkine to a small
brother the other day about the evils of using
slang and abbreviated names, happened shortly
afterward to use the word "dictator."
"You shouldn't say Dick Tater," said the lit
tle purist, "you should say Richard Potato."
Smart practice for a small boy of 6, wasn't it?
THE LIGHT WENT OUT
It affords us great pleasure to observe that
the police have made a capture in connection
with the suburban robberies. Further
efforts in this direction may make the foot
pad profession rather more hazardous in this
city than working for an honest living.
THE GROWTH OF BUILDING.
The total of buildings in Allegheny for
the last year shows that 817 were constructed
at an aggregate cost of 1,463,000. This
is less in proportion to the population of the
two cities than in Pittsburg, for the good
reason that the level plain in Allegheny is
all occupied and the problem of bringing in
the hill sections back of the city is not
fully solved. The totals of both cities pre
sent a picture ot the growth of the entire
community known as Pittsburg, although
it leaves out of account the rapidly spread
ing villages outside of the city lines, along
the various railroads. A total of 3,036 new
buildings, however, makes such a good
showing that we can afford to leave the
suburban growth out ot the calculation at
least until some method is found to include
the whole in a comprehensive report If
Pittsburg can keep up the conservative
prosperity which has produced this growth,
for a few years, it will be better for it than
THE EXAMPLE OF FRANCE.
Reports of the condition of things in
France furnish an indication of the weak
ening influence upon the stability of a re
public, of corruption in high places, and
scandalous features in the political and
economic workings of the Government It
is believed that France is on the verge of a
revolutionary outbreak; and the schemes of
the Beds are given strength by exposures of
corruption. The Universal Exposition of
1878 is now declared upon an inspection of
its accounts to have been "a universal
swindle." The subscriptions to various
corporate enterprises have been authorita
tively reported to have been swallowed up
in gratuities to membersof the Government,
the Legislature and the press; and certain
associations are declared to be for the pur
pose of "levying blackmail on every under
taking of a financial or industrial natus,"
In such a condition of things it isfKt
strange that France should be on the rwe
of revolution, or that Baron Rothschild
should order his treasures packed so as tobe
ready for instant removal. A republic that
is perverted to the enrichment of lie"
favorites of Government, is worse than a
monarchy that docs the same thing under
the guise of privileged classes. For
the republic to inaugurate the regime of
IT "WOULD HAVE BEEN HEART) BEFORE.
Tf there is the slightest truth in a rumor
sent here all the way from England that
Andrew Carnegie is to be Secretary of the
Interior, the next fact which may be set
down with certainty is that Mr. Blaine will
be Secretary of the Exterior.
President Harrison may have hit upon
the suggestion of Carnegie as a delicate way
out of the dilemma of having to pass upon
the suitability of Mr. Blaine himself for a
place in the Cabinet To nominate our
former townsman could only be taken as a
compliment to Blaine, by association with
whom last summer Mr. Carnegie obtained
the only prominence he so far had in the
eyes of politicians. To Mr. Carnegie him
self the President-elect is not particularly
indebted, as, according to all reports at the
time, the former was eager that the Plumed
Knight should allow his own name to go
directly before the convention.
No one doubts that the Braddock manu
facturer would make a competent Secretary
of the Interior. But there is great room to
doubt that if the place were offered" to him,
we would have to wait till.the story went to
England and came back before hearing
BEGGARS AND CHARITY.
An article in the Churchman gives the
assurance by a gentleman who is vouched
for as versed in charitable work, that "there
is no fraction of any percentage of meritori
ous mendicancy in New York." This
is hardly more than any observer could as
certain for himself. The growth of street
begging during late years has been testi
mony at once to the amount of carelessness
which submits to be bled by importunity,
and imagines itself to be charitable, and to
the neglect of public duty which permits
such things. It was recognized a genera
tion ago as a function of the Government to
provide for the destitute, and to suppress
mendicancy. In view of the fact that the
neglect of the duty is sure to produce beg
gars, the growth of that class, while recog
nized as undeserving, should be regarded
less as the fault of the ignorant iinposters1
than of the public spirit which permits
them to ply their vocation in public.
Of course there are a great many people
in need of assistance who shrink from be
coming charges upon the public, in alms
houses. But such people are the last to beg
on street corners or go seeking aid from
house to house. For such cases, we are
told, there is almost a superabundance of
provision from all sorts of orgauized chari
ties which, it is asserted, overlap and com
pete with each other so strenuously as to
stimulate pauperism by their very search for
some one to aid.
This may be true; and yet it is hardly
likely to be true that there is too much real
charity? In fact it indicates that there may
be too much eleemosynary charity and too
little of the true charity which consists in
seeking out those who need aid and seeing
that they have a fair chance to earn a liv
ing. The charity which will do the poor
the most good is not that which gives them
coal, food or clothing for nothing, but that
which aids them in getting fair wages for
good square work and laying aside enough
of it to provide against adversities.
' This suggests another thought which
should impress itself upon the minds of all
AN Eastern cotemporary regards the-New
York girl who is about to marry a German
baron, and stipulates in the ante-nuptial
contract that he shall have no control over
her property, as a very sensible young
woman. Considering the cogency of the
argument that if a rich girl is not certain
enough of her husband's love to intrust
him with her property she had better not
marry him, there may be two sides to that
question. The European view of the case
will probably be that the young woman is
desirous of purchasing a title without pay
ing the usual market price for it.
The sentence of an oleomargarine dealer
in the Criminal Court, yesterday, should be
received as a public demonstration of the
principle that while laws are on the statute
book, it is worth while to obey them.
The story that Hon. Thomas C. Piatt
made a bargain with the Pacific Railroads
that if they would contribute $300,000 to the
election funds, he would have a Secretary
of the Interior appointed to their liking, is
rather too strong for the public credulity.
It may be that Piatt would not be above
such a deal; but there is every reason to be
lieve that before the Pacific railroads gave
up their good money to such an extent as
that, they would require the option to be in
dorsed by someone on whom they could rely
to deliver the goods.
The use of "Vigilantes" to suppress
"White Caps" up n'ear Shamokin is treat
ing the disease on the homeopathic princi
ple. The difference between the two classes
ot mob rule is wholly in the name.
The Ford committee's bill seems calcu
lated to shut out pretty nearly everyone
from coming to this country to accept a po
sition previously tendered to him. Exclud
ing idiots, paupers and criminals is all
right; but with the exception only of uni
versity professors and ministers of the gos
pel, leaves it open to a construction that
would exclude engineers, artists, actors,
writers and scientific experts, there is reason
to fear that the bill would keep out the
wrong persons and be evaded in the case of
those who ought to be excluded.
Boston intelligence, with regard to its
distinguished citizens, is to the effect that
Hon. James B, Lowell is about to issue
another book and Hon. John L. Sullivan is
on another drunk.
The statistician of the Agricultural De
partment puts last year's corn crop at 1,987,
790,000 bushels. This lacks a little of the
round 2,000,000,000 bushels at which the
crop was estimated; but in such a total a
little shortage of 12,000,000 bushels never
will be missed. At the deduction it is the
biggest crop ever harvested, and corn pro
ducts, among which the principal are pork
and lard, ought to be cheap for the next
The organized effort to defy the Govern
ment and take some one else's land still ap
pears to be popular among a certain class in
They are having a great time in Lancas
ter over the case of a man named Lippy,
who is true to his patronymic in refusing to
pay 67c apiece for three large-sized oaths
which he had uttered in public. This calls
attention to the fact that, if all the large D's
and cognate expressions heard on the streets
of Pittsburg were assessed 67c each, the tax
rate could be materially reduced.
PERSONAL PACTS AND FANCIES.
Governor Gordon, of Georgia, is going
into raising thoroughbred cattle.
The stamp collection of M. Ferrari, son of
the late Duchess of Galllera, contains about
2,000,000 specimens, ana has a market value of
Yesterday afternoon Mr. Morton, accom
panied by his wife, called at the Whlto House
and was cordially received by the President
and Mrs. Cleveland.
Secretary a nd Mrs. Fairchlld gave a din
ner last night in honor of tho President and
Mrs. Cleveland. The membersof the Cabinet
and a number of other prominent people were
Mr. Hiqoins, the coming Senator from Del
aware, is said to be a wonderful expert as re
gards peaches. By tasting a peach he can tell
its variety, where it was grown, its age and its
market value. Whether he is the author of
the perennial prediction of the "killing of the
buds' is not stated.
Cardinal Lavigerie has brought over
from Africa two graceful gazelles as a present
to Leo XIII; they have been housed ina corner
of the Vatican gardens, and the Pope never
takes bis daily walk among the vines and
shrubs, which he himsslf has imported, with
out stopping in front of the enclosure where
the animals have become quite tame.
Rose Elizabeth Cleveland is writing
another novel. The story is based upon her ex
periences in Washington society, and is filled
with satire of a gentle but effective kind. There
is a murder In the plot, a Prestdental election,
a crisis in the Senate, a divorce case, and vari
ous minor incidents of an interesting charac
ter. In spite of these sensational features the
novel is written in a highly Intellectual vein,
and is said by those who have read it to recall
the style of George Eliot
IT is reported that the Pope never allows a
fire in any cf the eight rooms of the Vatican
which he Inhabits. These rooms are, with the
exception of the library, small and low, and the
Pope's habits are so simple that he does not
even recmire a dining room, but takes hl3
meals either in his bedroom or in the library.
The otber day the bedroom was moved to a
higher floor, as the room in which the Pope had
hitherto slept was converted into a private
chapel. On one of the officials remarking that
the upper rooms would be too hot for habita
tion during the summer months, the Pope
quietly replied: "Then I shall have my bed
put into the library."
TnE New York Sun says: A good story re
garding the late Bayard Taylor which has
never appeared in print is told at Cornell Uni
versity as one of the choice bits of college lore.
In the early days of the University, Taylor was
at a large dinner party given by President An
drew D. White. In the post prandial conversa
tion something was said regarding restaurants.
"By the way," said one, "What does the word
restaurant signify?" Quick as a flash, Bayard
Taylor said: "It comes from res, a thing, and,
taurus, a bull, therefore a bully thing." The
laughter that greeted this sally settled the im
mortality of the joke, and professors and stu
dents alike delight to repeat it
EDTAN VISITS QUAY
At Washington, Defore the Latter Leaves
(FROM A STAFF COEItESrOXDENT.
Harrisburq, January 19. On invitation of
United States Senator Quay Senator and Mrs.
Rutan left this afternoon for Washington fo
pay a visit to Mr. Quay and his family. Mr.
Rutan has received repeated inviMions from
Mr. Quay to visit him 'at Washington, but his
health has not permitted it until now. The
last letter was more urgent than tho former
ones, as Senator Quay expects to leavo on
Wednesday morning for Florida to rest from
the labors and the worries that have thronged
upon him since the opening of the campaign.
Senator Rutan expects to be in his place in
the Senate at the opening on Tuesday night
Before Sullivan Had HU Say, and the
Town Went Republican.
CFKOMA STAFF COBBESFOXDXXT.3
Harrisburq, January 19. Henry Hsll, the
brilliant young member from Mercer, tells this
story of his campaigning in Indiana: Arriving
at a town at which he was engaged to speak,
he learned that owing to a mistake be was
billed for the next night To put in the time
he walked to a miners' meeting four miles
away. The miners were discussing various
things, but wheMthoy found that a foreign
speaker was at their door they invited him in,
and in ho went
He was introduced as "Tho Boy Miner," al
though he was never in a mine in his life. He
was in for it, however, and he started in with a
red-hot Republican speech. It dismayed the
Democrats in the audience, and they quickly
sent for Michael Sullivan, the Democratic
boss, and Mike arrived as the speaker was in
the midst ota beautiful flight of rhetoric.
Mike advanced to the center of the room,
and breaking in on tbespeaker, asked: "Phwat
the divil does this mane?"
"Sit down." said HalL ,
"But I want to know, persisted Mike.
'Sit down," said Hall, "you will have your
chance to speak.1' ' .
"Yes," said Mike, "an' thrue for yez. Til
l"io me say, ana yez'U near from me."
That's all right," said Hall, and he went on
with his speech, which set the miners wild. He
dwelt on tne benefits of protection and was
cheered. As he neared the close of his speech
ho whispered to a Republican friend who Bat
on the platform. TheRcnnbllcan friend circu
lated through the audience. Presently the
astute Hall finished in a blaze of glory, there
was a mighty cheer went np, and in an instant
every light went out, and Michael Sullivan
found himself hustled down stairs before be
had time to catch' his breath. The meeting
had adjourned and Mike didn't have a chance
to say his say. i
That town went Republican for the first time
in Its history, and Mike Sullivan's power was
WEST VIRGINIA'S Y0LCAU0.
A Phenomenon That Puzzles the People of
Muddy Creek Taller.
From the Tyler (W, Vs.) Star.
There is quite an excitement among the peo
ple of Muddy creek, about five miles east of
this place, in regard to a singular hole in the
ground. This phenomenon, or chasm, or what
ever it is, Is on a hill-slde near a cliff of rocks
and is unfathomable, so say persons who have
attempted to sound Its depths. Every morning
smoke In considerable quantities may be seen
issuing forth, and there is a perceptible degree
of heat Residents of the community claim
that they have tried to fill it with stones, but
that the stones sink from sight, or, in the ver
nacular of a denizen, "start on a journey to
China." It is now the popular thing lor tourists
to visit the "volcano," as it Is termed. All
unite In telling the same story and agree that
they cannot just quite make It out.
A NOVEL SAVINGS BANK.
An Editor's Wife Hides 8140 in Her Shoe
and Comes Near Losing: It.
Editor Hooper, of the Columbus Sunday
News, had a little experience the other day
which the Ohio State Journal relates as fol
lows: The friends of O. C. Hooper, editor of the
News, are at present enjoying a little merri
ment at his expense. Yesterday morning he
left one of his wife's shoes at a High street
store to bo repaired. A short time afterward
Mr. Hooper returned in a much exercised
frame of mind and asked the proprietor if he
had found anything in the shoe. Of course he
had not as he had dropped it among a pile of
other footwear awaiting the cobbler's hand.
Mr. Hooper made a hasty dive into the toe of
the shoe, and to his delleht extracted si 40 In
cold cash. The Indications are that Mrs.
Hooper has not the greatest faith in the police,
and sho put her husband's money in this hid
ing place as a precautionary measure against
INTO A BOTTOMLESS PIT.
Mysterious Sinking of TexniRnllrond Prop
crty Into Unknown Depths.
Midlothian, Tex., January 19. Great ex
citement was caused here yesterday by the
sinking near the depot, without apparent
cause, of a strip of territory 20U yards long,
over which runs the Fort Worth and New Or
leans Railroad. The earth In the afternoon
gave signs like the echo of the thunderstorm
of the preceding day. It then commenced
sinking gradually, and within a few hours
seemed to be going out of sight. The railroad
called a construction train into service, and
had 40 carloads of gravel emptied in an effort
to raise the grade, but by night the gravel had
sunk three feet below the original level of the
road and trains could not get to the depot
Some think the sink hole will develop alarge
river, while others believe that the sinking will
spread and prove to be something like the
great depressions of the earth's surface that
once occurred in Missouri.
Office Seekers Conspicuously Absent Good
Civil.ServIc Signs A Capital Poker
Story Vagaries of the Wheel of For
tuneWhy One Good Wife Will Never
Advise Her Husband Again.
(FEOM A STATS' COBBZSrOXDXKT.'l
Washington, D. a, January 19. One thing
very noticeable to an experienced habitue of
the capital these days is the remarkable ab-
sense of office seekers. That is, there is an
extraordinary scarcity of them when it is con
sidered that we are within six weeks of the
inauguration of a new administration, and a
new one which reverses the political complex
ion of the administration. Four years ago at
this time the town was overrun with Demo
crats, empty of pocket but full ot hope. Im
bued with a belief, that the rascals would be
turned out, to a man, and that a vast army of
their own party, who had been "very hungry
ana very thirsty" for years, would be snugly
installed in office, to remain there f orlife,for it
was a general conviction among Democrats four
years ago that the success of their party meant
a lease of power for at least a quarter of a
Now, though the "pull" for office is begun
and members of Congress and influential
politicians are flooded with letters asking their
influence, no army of officeseekers crowd the
hotels, come here to stay until thev are "fixed,"
as was the case four years ago. Nothing could
more forcibly suggest a conviction In the minds
of officeseekers that there Is not to be any
general, immediate removal of Democrats who
have got into office during the last four years,
for if there wern anv tnph rnnvii't.fnn ehA Infln-r
of persons seeking office at this near date to
the inauguration would bo like a tidal wave.
People are inclined to say that the civil service
law is a failure and that it ought to be repealed.
Atleast the politicians say so. But what could
more clearly prove that it is a great success
than what I have just described? It has
come to this, that the politics of the
country is revolutionized, in a party sense.
Without mora than RnrfanA nf nivll SAT-vf rn af
fairs, even in this city where the civil service
employes form so large a portion of the popu
lation. I believe that four years from this time
thousands ot goood Democrats will be found in
office, as thousands of Republicans are in office
now, and that thus we shall gradually secure a
stable non-partisan civil service, whose mem
bers will go home' and vote quietly for their
candidates without inquisition or assessment
and intent while at work only upon doing their
duty as employes of the Goverment transacting
the business of the Government
A Strong- Team in Harness.
Those two eminent Honorable. Beriah Wll-
kins and Frank Hatton, have made a wonder
ful Improvement in the morning J'ost of this
city. I think it is at this moment the best
morning newspaper Washington has ever had,
and It promises at its present rate of progress
to become very soon one of the really great
newspapers of the country. As a financier Mr.
Wilklns has won a notable reputation, and so
well were his abilities recognized that he was
made Chairman of the Committee on Banking
and Currency of the House at the beginning of
this Congress. The execntive abilities of Frank
Hatton placed him high up as Second Assistant
Postmaster General, and then in the Post
master "General's chair. Besides, he has had
ample newspaper experienco on the Burlington
Hawkeye, New York -Press and other papers.
But what I want particularly to say is that two
men of such marked abilities have rarely been
brought together in the management of a Bin
glc newspaper, and many will watch with In
terest the results.
The Hornco Greeley Statue.
IXEW TOKK BtrBXAU SPECIALS.
New York, January 19. Tho committee on
the erection of a statue to Horace Greeley in
Printing House Square will ask the public In a
few days to help it out of its financial straits.
Heretofore only printers have contributed to
the fund. As soon as Congress adjourns Amos
J. Ccmmings will try to boom the committee's
cause by lecturing on the life of Horace
Greeley. The statue has been already de
signed and ordered. It win cost 15,000. Greeley
will be represented as sitting In a big arm
chair, his head slightly Inclined and his legs
extended. The right hand will hold an open
newspaper. Four bas-reliefs on the pedestal
willshow how Mr. Greeley looked as an appren
tice, a mechanic, a farmer and an editor.
COURTSHIP BI MAIL.
Wild Men in Kentucky.
From the Chicago News. 3
The drop In the price of whisky is having a
natural effect Wild men are running loose in
various parts of Kentucky.
At the Political Seance.
From the Chicago ifcws.J
If James G.Blaine is in Medium Harrison's
Cabinet he will please give three distinct
dEaths op a day.
Hon. Sam B. Wilson.
Special Telegram to the Dispatch.
UeaVeh, January 19. Sam B. 'Wilson, Esq.,
died this morning In his 70th year. Ameetlneof
the Bar Association was held this afternoon, at
which a committee was appointed to report, at a
subsequent meeting, resolutions relathe to his
death. It was also decided to attend the funeral
in a uouy. xue luuerai will laxs place at 2P.M
Monday, and will be attended by Free Masons
from all parts of the county.
Dr. E. W. Brant.
Special Telegram to the Dispatch.
Carlisle, I'a., January is. Dr. E. W. Brant
a wealthy practicing physician of Mechanlcsburg.
died suddenly in that town this morning. He
was 60 years old. He served for many years as
Burgess of the town. .
A Long Correspondence Between Strnneers
Terminate in Matrimony.
From the Parkersbnrg Sentinel.
On last Friday at the Buckingham, Mr. W. J.
Brannan, of Roane county. West Virginia, and
Miss Annie Russell, of Henry county, Indiana,
were united in marriage. Rev. S. S. Moore offi
ciating. These two young people had been car
rying on a courtship for several years by mail,
having been unacquainted previous to the open
ing oftho correspondence. According to ar
rangement they both met in this city last
Friday. Miss Russell, who is quite a handsome
young lady, camo from Indiana to meet her
WOULD NOT DO WITHOUT IT.
Tho Best Journalism is Not Confined to tub
From the Toronto (Can.) Emplre.l
The Pittsburo DisPATcn is one of the
United States papers which prove to an appre
ciative circle of readers thattho best journalism
Is not confined to the largest cities of the Union.
Its contents in news and matters of varied and
Important interest make The Dispatch a
paper which one would not willingly do without
THE WORLD OF WORKERS.
Judge John Collet!.
Special Telegram to the Dispatch.
Lima, January 19. Judge John Collett died this
morning of paralysis. He was born in Stanton.
Vice Consul Robert Seymour.
London, January 19. -Mr. Robert Seymour,
Vice Consul of the United States at Queenstown.
Ireland, died to-day.
Of late years Eastern shoe manufacturers
have been narrowing their fines of production
with a view to producing a few very fine spe
cialties rather than a great variety of Inferior
makes. The custom seems to be spreading
and is said to have proved successful finan
cially. A French stone mason has discovered a
cement which he claims to be stronger, cheap
er, and less liable to damage from the action of
the weather than any preparation now in use.
It is not a plaster, but a heavy, viscous fluid,
and Is applied ith a brush. Its composition is
The newest method for hardening copper Is
that of melting together and stirring until
thoroughly amalgamated copper and from 1
to 6 per cent of maganese oxide. If any alloy
is to be made the other ingredients may then
be added. This process makes the copper
homogenous, hard and tough.
AN Eastern machinist has stumbled upon an
ingenious way of cooling a journal that cannot
be stopped. He bangs a short endless belt on
the shaft next to the box, allowing 'tho lower
part of the belt to run in cold water. The turn
ing of the shaft carries the belt slowly round,
bringing fresh, cold water continually in con
tact with the heated shaft without spilling or
spattering a drop.
The statement recently made by a barber of
this city viz: that electricity afreets the edge
of razors seems to be concurred in by a num
ber of tonsorial professionals. A Kansas City
barber thinks that "the electrical currents
with which the atmosphere is filled, together
with the personal magnetism of the person
shaved, are tho causes of the temporary loss of
cdge.in many razors."
A new method of annealing small pieces of
steel is in use among some machinists. The
objects to be annealed are first placed in a
piece of gasplpe two or three Inches in diam
eter. One end of the pipe is then heated and
drawn together, the other being left open to
look into. On the pieces becoming of a cherry
red the fire is to be covered with sawdust; a
charcoal fire is used for this purpose and tho
steel Is left in over night
The French Minister of Agriculture has
recommended the butchers of France to use
sugar instead of salt for preserving meat He
has made a series of experiments, the results
of which indicate that sugar Is the better pre
servative of the two. It is more expensive, but
the powdered sugar forms a coating retaining
the Juices of the meat without loss, while the
nutritive qualities of the meat are considerably
lessened by the salt
A Good Poke Story.
I don't know just why I am reminded of a
good poker story while speaking of Wilklns
and Hatton. unless it is because it has been
frequently printed by more enterprising cor
respondents than I, that they are both excel
lent players, of course only in their own social
circles. Wilklns is said to be a terror, among
his Congressional friends, and it is related of
Hatton that in his .days as Assistant Postmas
ter he used to go to the White House and
"clean out" President Arthur and Postmaster
General Gresham In the highest style of the
art. Well, the other evening I called to see a
Congressman by appointment. He was absent,
but had left word that I should be sent to the
rooms of another statesman. Going there I
found one of the coziest little Congressional
poker parties of five that could be arranged from
uuiu iiuuies. ih is uue tome nenate 10 saytnat
it was represented by one of Its most eloquent
orators. The Representative whom I was seek
ing gave information he had for me, and then
I sat for a while looking at the game. The
Representative I referred to sat to the left ot
the Senator, and had been having awful luck.
He rarely caught a pair, still more rarely
"helped" a pair, and as sure as he did some
other player "tapped" him. Shortly after my
entrance all "passed out," and thero was a
'lack pot" and itwasaeood fat one I assuro
you, for the ante was to. It was not opened for
three deals, and then it came .the Senator's
turn to shake up the pasteboards! The Repre
sentative was so disgusted with his hands that
it being his first "say," exclaimed: "I'll pass
The next man opened the pot for the amount
on the table. Each ono in turn stayed in until
it came to the Representative, who had not un
til then picked up his hand. He studied the
hand a moment and said in a discontented
tone: "Well, I'll stay, and take one card." The
opener took one card, two others took three
cards, and the dealer, the Senator, took one.
Tho opener made a big bet The three-card
men dropped out. The Senator "saw"' the
opener and raised him a hundred. The Repre
sentative "called." The opener saw the hun
dred and raised two hundred. The Senator
came back with five hundred better. To the
astonishment of everybody the Representative
quietly counted out five hundred, and on top of
that laid down a one thousand dollar bill, say
ing: "I want that pot, and I guess a thousand
dollars will talr R It
It is needless to say there was a "devil of a
thinking" just then, but tho opener soon called,
and the Senator followed suit each yet believ
ing that the Representative was bluffing. But
when the hands were laid down there was a
howl. The opener had split a pair of jacks and
made an ace high flush. The Senator had
made a king full, and the Representative
showed up four aces, which he had passed
blind. Probably there is not upon record a
luckier blind pass in a big jack pot I asked
the Representative afterwards why he did not
raise on his first bet. "Why," safd he. "didn't
you see tho other fellows were watching each
other T They never thought of me. I knew if
I trailed thero would be a good raise between
them, and then I intended to come in with a
big bet which would look like a bluff. You see,
iter the second bet of R and the Senator
there was not only enough in the pot to justify
a big bluff, but the two bad in so much money
they could not get away from it. But I tell yon
when I picked up that blind hand and Baw four
aces pat in it I could hardly believe my eyes."
Story of n Lottery Ticker.
The lucky turn ot the wheel which put $75,
000 in the pocket of Pension Agent Barclay, of
Pittsburg, has led thousands in this city to
squander money each month in lottery tickets
without any return, but in one instance at least
hi3 luck brought joy to a needy household. Yon
know Barclay bought his lucky ticket here.
Shortly after that, perhaps just before the next
drawing, a poor woman of this city went forth
with the last 2 she had in the house to buy a
little food and coal. Her husband is a pro
fessional man, able and of good habits, but one
of the fellows who never catch on. Repeatedly
he was assisted by friends who knew his worth
and misfortune, and that bo was deserving
The lady had read of Barclay's lnck. and, pass
ing the room of the agent of the lottery, the
Impulse seized her to Invest one of her two
dollars in a ticket She did so, and that ticket
drew one-twentieth of the capital prize of 83U0,
000 A Disgusted Wife.
Another venture did not turn out so pret
tily for the ticket buyer. A young married
man of this city bad been in the habit for a
long time of purchasing a lottery ticket each
month, much to the disgust of bis wife, and
one month when he bought twoher indignation
impelled him to sell one to a friend. The one
be sold drew 15,000, and at least one wife in
the world will never again give advice to her
husband in money affairs. These are lucky
hits out of millions upon millions of failures,
and the chances of winning are so small that
the fact must remain that the person who in
vests in the lottery is something not far re
moved from a donkey. E. W. L.
Will See Mr. Bayard About It.
Minister Preston was greatly amused yester
day morning over the idea that Hlppolyte's
agents had bought the steam yacht Alva for
service in Haytlan waters. He thought the re
port ridiculous, he told the newpapers. Then
he packed his satchel and hurried down tO(
Washington to see Secretary Bayard about it
He will pass Sunday in Washington, Monday
in Philadelphia and return here on Tuesday.
' Dozens of Reasons for a. Divorce.
Edward Q. Desmond has dozens of good
reasons, he thinks, for getting a divorce from
his wife. He saw her kiss Morris Taylor seven
times. Onco she put her arm around Mr.
Taylor's neck. She 'refused to cook dishes
which he liked. At the table she talked about
him in German to the servant Though Mr.
Desmond doesn't understand German he
swears in his legal statement that thoy were
ridiculing him. Five times in the last six
months Mr. Desmond has tied baby Desmond
to the crib, so that she could go to the Taylof
House to play poker. Mrs. Desmond Is willing
to give up Mr. Desmond if be will give her the
baby and alimony.
A Very TJndutlful Son.
Mrs. Sophia Wacker refused to give her
drunken son money this morning. He struck
her down with his fist He kicked her in the
face, threw a pailful of water on her and beat
her with an ax handle. She eventually got to
her feet and ran downstairs. He followed,
'shooting at her with a revolver. The unsteadi
ness of his hand spoiled his aim, and Mrs.
Wacker escaped without further injuries. A
policeman disarmed him, after a struggle, and
locked him up.
Not Natural Gas, Though.
An explosion of escaping gas under Nassau
street tore up the pavement and caused a small
panio among passing pedestrians, early this
afternoon. Bits of paving stone and big pieces
of iron from a manhole were thrown high into
the air. Astone weighing three tons was thrown
several feet down the street No one was in
jured, although the street was crowded when
the explosion occurred.
Sailed for a New Star.
Marcus Mayer, Manager Abbey's chief-of-staff,
sailed for Ecrope this morning on the
steamship Fulda, with a Mexican spaniel dog,
which a Mexican grandee wishes him to give to
Patti. Mr, Mayer has been back from Mexico
four days. He Jells everyone he sees how
anxious the Mexicans are to pay S10 or $12 a
night to see Mr. Abbey's stars perform. Mr.
Mayer hu kept very mum about the object of
his present trip to Europe. Some members of
the profession here are tremendously curious
about the new star he will bring back with him
for Mr. Abbey.
Caught In an Old Trap.
Young Dr. Jasper Bryant of Woodbine, Ky.,
told a police justice this morning how he hap
pened to pay $170 for a bag f nil of paper yester
day. He thought he was getting $3,500 In coun
terfeit bills. Some time ago Frank Smith and
J. M. Henderson wrote to Dr. Bryant that they
would sell him good counterfeits amazingly
cheap, if he would come up North to get them.
Dr. Bryant came, called upon his correspond
ents, and got what he supposed to be the coun
terfeits in question, in a locked satchel. Smith
told him it wonld bo imprudent to open the
satchel before he got out of the town. Dr.
Bryant wished to use some of the money, how
ever, and broke open the satchel at his hotel.
He had the green goods men arrested imme
Ran a Swindling Lottery.
Henry B. Munch, an elegantly-dressed young
man, is in jail because he has been conducting
for three years a swindling lottery game in the
Bowery. He did his business behind a show
window containing a stereopticon and gaudy
chromos. Any man who stopped to look at the
pictures was invited to go inside. There he
was shown all sorts of dime museum wonders
and eventually some lottery tickets, costing $1
each. Every ticket was guaranteed to draw a
$5 prize. A big bouncer silenced the com
plaints of anyone who mentioned the guaran
tee after drawing a 10-ccnt bit of jewelry.
Yesterday afternoon a detective bought a
chance in Mr. MunCh's lottery. He drew a
brass watch marked "18-karat gold watch."
He then shut up the establishment and carried
Mr. Munch and his bouncer off to jail.
A Building and Loan Organ.
The Co-operative Bulletin will be the name
of a bi-monthly journal about to be issued in
the interest of the building loan associations of
New York. Charles Oaxe Hennessy, Secretary
of the State League of Building Associations,
is to be the editor of the new paper.
The Peace of Enrope.
From the Philadelphia Press.",
Simultaneously with, the announcement from
Germany that "the peace of Europe is secure."
comes the news that 3,000 tons of shells have
been ordered for the forts on the German
frontier. In view of this circumstance it may
be that what Germany meant to say was that
the pieces of Europe are secure.
The Canso of Education.
From the Chicago Mews.l
The cause o( higher education in this country
is looking up. Fifty male students of Johns
Hopkins University in Baltimore are playing
Roman citizens with Booth and Barrett and an
equal number of young lady students in the
North Dakota University have the mumps.
It is proposed In New York to spend
$103,000 the current year in teaching German in
the public schools.
It is said that after 15 or 20 more inter
ments are allowed In Westminster Abbey the
room will all be occupied.
The cheapest Christmas present sold by
one jeweler in New York City cost 8 cents; the
most expensive cost $50,000.
There are said to be abont a dozen negro
physicians in Brooklyn, some of whom have
been in active practice for fully 40 years.
T. W. Lamb killed last week on Jekyl
Island, Ga., the oldest beef ever slain in that
part of the country. It was 23 years old and
weighed net 627 pounds.
One of the best lawyers in Virginia says
he would on no account leave his children any
considerable amount of property, and he gives
away not less than 51,000 a year.
It is a popular saving that rich men's
sons don't amount to much. Of 600 rich men
in New York who hare sons there are not 20
who are not hard at work building them
A Floridan states that it takes just half
as much food and clothing for his family in
Florida as it did in Tennessee, where he
formerly resided. The difference in tempera
ture effects this economy.
A physician writing upon the care of
the eyes says that it is Important that the
upper half of all typeshould be cut very clearly,
as much depends on the upper portions ot
printed letters in reading.
Delaware still continues the use of the
whipping-post, and if you want to know how it
succeeds she will send you figures to prove that
she has 20 per cent less of minor offenses than
any equal population in the world.
The corner stone of a hotel for women
has recently been laid in London. It is pro
posed to allow the occupants to do their own
cooking and housework, and the rent of rooms
will vary from $1 25 to $2 50 per week.
Alexander Nasmyth, the landscape
painter, once planted an inaccessible crag on
the estate of the Duke of Athol by shooting
tree seeds out of a small cannon. The attempt
l was a decided success, and the trees now fiour-
A Benton (Me.) man, whose wife pos
sesses somnambulism among her defects, was
led a lively chase a few nights ago. His wife
rose and ran half a mile to a neighbor's house,
and, although he did his best to overtake her,
she arrived there first
The first bear in 40 years was captured
in the woods on the outskirts of Wellsville, O.,
this week. It was a cub about t months old,
and weighed 60 pounds. The mother is sup
posed to be loitering in the vicinity, and hunt
ers intend searching for her.
A cat owned by a farmer who lives near
Norwich, Conn, has developed a fancy for
stealing clothes-pins. While 'the animal is
never known to touch clothes-pins of its owner,
it brIngtUiame all it can find lying round loose
in the neighbors' yards. Within the la3t three
months 23 dozen have been brought home in
Treasurer Hyatt, of the United States
Treasury in Washington, signed a check on
Friday for So8,000,000, payable to himself. This
was to reimburse himself for money expended
last month in the purchase of bonds, etc-,
which he has theoretically paid from his own
pocket It is the largest check issued from the
office since he has occupied it
The two elm trees cut down in Lunen
burg, Mass , a few days ago, were more than a
century old. According to Massachusetts
Eapers, "they were planted by Captain John
jtch on the memorable dark day. May 19. 17SO,
when it was so dark that people could not see
to read at midday, and many persons supposed
the day of judgment had come.
The following facts about tho tongue
may interest some people: A white tongue Is
said to denote febrile disturbance; a brown,
moist tongue. Indigestion: a brown, dry tongue,
depression, blood poisoning, typhoid fever; a
red, moist tongue, inflammatory fever: a red.
glazed tongue, general fever, loss of digestion;
atremulous, moist and flappy tongue, feeble
A Hartford dog has been taught to wait
at tho gate for the po3tman and carry tha mail
into the hous. The other morning there were
no letters, and, as the carrier passed without
stopping, the dog jumped from his place and
got in tho carrier's way. The man said a
kindly word to the brute an J then started to
walk off, but the dog barked as if for a letter,
and when the latter was not handed over, bit
Daniel Vickers formerly lived in what
is known as the "Pin Hook" settlement,
Wakulla county, Fia., but moved to Crawf ord
ville about 17 years ago. At the time he left
his old home a number of his hogs had strayed
off and "gone wild" in the river swamp, conse
quently were left behind. A few weeks ago,
while out hunting near his old home, he
found a monster wild hog, which he recognized
at once as being one of his old stock. In the
language of Mr. Vickers, it was a "whopper,"
and weighed fully 600 ponnds. and that its
tusks could be seen for 250 yards, glistening
like polished ivory in the noonday Sun.
When T. E. Brown, of Sandersville.Ga.,
died the family gave to a friend a valuable
and ferocious yard dog. Subsequently a man
named Robert Hood rented and moved into
the premises. One nignt last week the dog
escaped from his new master and returned to
the haunts of his former life. Early next
morning Mr. Hood beard the rattling of the
dog's chain, and fortunately armed himself
before venturing out, for as soon as he entered
the yard the dog made a violent at
tack upon him, anil never yielded
an inch nntil he was perforated
with bullets, filled with shot from a shotgun
in the hands of Mr. Hood's son, and finally
brained with an ax. Unconscious of tha
change of ownership, he recognized in Mr.
Hood an inTader, and sacrificed his life In de
fending the home of his former master.
MEANT TO BE FUNNY.
College Ruining Their Standard.
From the New York World.
Fourteen colleges in New England have en
tered into an agreement to raise the standard of
admission to their privileges. A more thor
ough knowledge of modern languages and foot
ball will be required.
A HOME FOR SICK CATS.
Philadelphia Ladles Ask n Cunrter for a
Hospital for Poor Tabbies.
Philadelphia, January 19. The Lombard
Street Cat Hospital, which takes care of sick,
injured and homeless animals, yasterday,
through Elizabeth Morris, Harriet Hare Mc
Clellan. Charlotte W. Ritchie, Craig D. Ritchie
and John F. Lewis applied for a charter under
the name of the Morris Refuge Association for
Homeless and Suffering Animals.
From the New York World.J
Baron Clement Zedlltz, of Germany, who Is
soon to marry a wealthy American, has taken
a praiseworthy step in making an anti-nuptial
renunciation of all claims to his wife's fortune.
Should this precedent become popular, mar
riage between American girls of fortune and
titled foreigners would be raised to a plane of
romantic sentiment which they seldom attain
If the baby cries all night do not walk the
floor with him. Leave that to his nurse.
A'oood way to warm a house is to saturate
the floors with kerosene and apply a match.
YotJNG married people starting out on $600
a year can get along very well without a French
chef in the kitchen.
Oatmeal is a very good dish for breakfast
but when served more than ten times in two
weeks is conducive to discomfort.
If you rent the house you live in be careful
of it Do not scratch matches on the parlor
walls, nor dust the staircases by falling down
No JlATTER.how informally you may five,
neither the parlor center table nor the dining
room floor is the proper place to hang your
Persons living in Dakota should never tie
their dog to the body of the house. If the
bouse blew away in a blizzard yon might lose
Do not speak unkindly to the burglar who
stands over you with a loaded revolver in his
hand. You might make him so nervous that he
would shoot you.
Never borrow less than a ponnd of butter or
a ton of coal from your neighbor. He does not
expect to be paid back, and you should always
make the best of your opportunities.
Never forget to wipe your feet on the mat
on very muddy days. The mat Is there for that
purpose, and you need not be afraid of hurting
its feelings, even if it does have the word
welcome printed across its face.
Be kind to the police. Occasionally give
them one or two 5-cent cigars, saying that they
are your favorite brand. Your own cigars will
last longer for this little attention to your
cook's beau, because once having smoked your
favorite brand he will aver thereafiirdfcllne
to smoke one again. JVVta For evening Sun.
Befween the Acts. Baggs (reading pro
gramme) Between the first and second aci three
days are supposed to elapse.
bnaggs Uy JoTe, I think the time mast be about
up. Town Topics.
She Misunderstands Miss Canada (blush
lngly) I am sorry, sir, hut I can never be any
thing more to you than a sis
Uncle Sam (aghast) Christopher Columbus,
young woman! You misunderstand me. I'm not
courting yon. I am only offering to be a father to
you. Chicago Tribune.
Colonel X. is a brilliant orator, but a
thoroughly egotistic man. Two of his friends were
talking about him the other day.
"Well," said Jones, "when I die I want him to
deliver an eulogy over the remains."
That's all right; but it won't be an eulogy; It
wlllbeanllogy." Washington Critic.
A Fatal Defect Civilian What do you
think of the new dynamite cruiser, tho Vesuvius?
Naval officer (dubiously) Well, she's a pretty
fair sort of a vessel.
Civilian (testily) Why, what's the matter with
Naval officer The era tier is swift enough and'all
that sort of thing, but I give yoa my word as a
gentleman that her dancing accommodations are
simply wretched, shamefully inadequate. Lowell
Why She Loved His Preaching. One
Sunday, as a certain Scottish minister was return
Inghomeward, he was accosted by an old woman,
'-Ob, sir, well do I Uke the day that yon
The minister was aware that he was not very
popular, and he answered:
"My good woman I am glad to hear it. There
are too few like you. And why do yoa like the
day when I preach?' '
"Oh, sir," she replied, "when you preach I al
ways get a good seat" The Ledger.
An Ingenious Census Taker. Kansas
Bustler Anybody kin be- rich if he exercises a
little Ingenuity. W'y, in '75 I took the census of
the State at regular rates an made a barrel of
money took Jest a day to a county. New Comer
Impossible! You could not "Not at an,
podner. I'd hit a town 'bout sundown, looking
as much as I could like a Boston capitalist, an
Jeit 'fore goln' to bed I'd ask the price of corner
lots. By mornin' every man woman an child la
the county would be waitin' fer me, and all I had
to do was to look out of one of the hotel windows
an' countthe heads." Time.
In the sleigh there was only just room for
There was nobody else to forbid It
The music of alelgbbells beat time to my heirt-
And some way or other I did It.
There was love in the air that was breathed; the
"Was tinged with the sun's golden glory.
Well-I spoke-and she gave me the mitten point
That's the long and the short of the story.
The wild rush of happiness you do not know.
Yoa can't know unless you have tried It.
What's that? Why, she gave me the mitten-
But her dear little hand tmlds U!