fje ' Bi$p ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8, 1S16. Vol. 43 ho, 313. Entered at Wttsburg Post- office, November IV J". as n-cond-ciass matter. Business Offlce97 andfi9 Fifth Avenue. News Booms and Publishing House 75, 77 and 79 Diamond Street. This paper having more than Double the circulation of any oilier in ihe Mate outside of Philadelphia, Its advantages a on adver tising medium will be appareuu TERMS OF THE DISPATCH. POSTAGE rnXE IN THE UNITED STATES. DAILY DisrATcn One Year. I 8 00 Uailt DlSPATCn, Per Quarter s2 Daily Dispatch, OncMonth ' Daily Dispatch, Including Sunday, one year 1000 Daily Dispatch; Including Sunday, per quarter :a) Daily Dispatch, Including bandar, one month. "0 ECXDAY DiSPATcn, oneycar. ISO jAVekklt Dispatch, one year 135 The Daily Dispatch Is delivered by carriers at IS cento per week, or Including the &undaj edition, at 20 cents per week. PITTSBURG, TUESDAY, JAN. 15. ISS9. THE EXPOSITION MEETING TO-NIGHT. It is well worth the notice of everybody who takes an interest in the future of Pitts burg, that to-nieht a mass meeting wiil be held at the old City Hall building, to discuss the plans and prospects for the much-talked-of Exposition. There is no resident in Pittsburg, of what ever calling, who should not feel concerned in every wise and timely measure to advance the name and enlarge the measure of local prosperity. Tf there has hitherto been fre quent complaint of a want of interest and support from quarters to which the Exposi tion might reasonably have looked for both, the occasion this evening will afford a good opportunity for removing it. All classes should unite; it is not a question of sub scription alone; it is one in which personal -encouragement and the assurance of sym pathy and co-operation will count for a vast deal with the Board of Directors. The DiSPATcn trusts that the response to the call of the Exposition Society will be numerous and hearty. Good speakers are promised; and if the public are aroused to the importance of Pittsburg having an Ex position, the hall ought to be crowded. Manufacturers, merchants, real estate owners, artisans, clerks and every one whose lot is cast in this community, have a stake in its growth and prospects. The results of this board's call will be watched for with very keen interest perhaps noc only at home, but also abroad. LTTGAIXS' STEEE0TYPED EEP0ET. Senator Ingalls' declaration that "if any one has shut me out of 'his house, on account of anything I have saul, I am glad of it," with a supplementary refeienceto his '"duty to state unpalatable truths" is about what might be expected of the Kansas Senator. A man who seeks fame rather by the sharpness of his tongue thau the keen ness of his judgment would naturally make exactly that retort It is the best practica ble; but it can hardly fail to call attention to the fact that the Senator's vituperation of President Cleveland was not a duty, nor was it all confined to truth. At the time that he made that speech which opened with charging that no person could be more degraded than the President.THE Dispatch pointed out that it was simply the abandon of a gifted scold. The objects of such abusive attacks can hardly be. blamed for keeping aloof from their assailant C0ENEES AND COFFEE. The report that the Xew York Legisla ture has been inspired by Judge Barrett's anti-trust decision to take up the battle against commercial conspiracies of all kinds, has some fonndation. At least one institu tion, which counts among its vested rights that of running a semi-annual comer on a leading food staple, has found out that it is attacked. That institution is the New York Coffee Exchange, which gets up a corner on coffee about twice a year. There is a bill against coffee corners in the Legislature, and the coffee brokers are boiling about it. It is also obvious that they are stirred up from their utmost depths, as thev delegated a committee of nine to go to Albany and ex hibit their grounds of objection to the bill. It the objection is solely to law directed against a single class of commercial con tpiratorp, they have better grounds than usually come from their staple. There is no reason for singling out coffee as a sub ject for legislation against corners, while wheat, oil, cotton, pork, sugar or stocks are left untouched. Indeed, some of the latter staples are snbjecc to corners more injurious to the public than those in coffee can he. If legislation can put a stop to such gambling with loaded dice in the staples of life, it should include all of them. Let us hope that the New York coffee men will urge the amendment of the bill so as to punish all conspiracies to affect the price of any staple, and give honest and legitimate trade a fair chance. That would settle coffee gambling as well as the other kinds. THE LEGAL ELECTION. Harrison was elected President yesterday. There has been an impression that he was elected last November; but the formalities gone through with yesterday call attention to the error. All that was done last fall was to elect the men who choose the Presi dent It is true that none of the electors would dare to vote lor any candidate except the one he was chosen to represent, unless he was prepared to move out of the conntry without further delay; but it is a curious illustration of the difference between public opinion and law that this discretion which CO elector dares exercise now, is a constitu tional right, if not a constitutional duty. Another singular feature appears in the fact that while the people would be unanimous in indignation at the vote of any elector lor another man than his party candidate, they leave untouched and amended the pro visions in the Constitution which give an elector the right to do that very thing. Are we an exactly logical nation? THE STAIN ON BOTH SIDES. The difference in spirit between those who wish to see campaign evils thoroughly wiped out and those who are only desirous of having the evil deeds or the opposition ex posed is quite decided. This explains why the Democratic outcry against corruption in Indiana, has failed to use as an example the circular of N. A. Whitaker, Democratic Chairman of Morgan county, instructing his correspondents to make out lists, and to "maik every one who has to have money as a float" As The Dispatch pointed out belore the election, the equal effort of both parties to raibe immense sums of money for Iodiana, was a threat of corruption; and when we find those in charge of the cam paign using almost the identical terms with . regard to the connection between purchase able voters and money, the inference is fair W m that both are tarred with the same stick. A' denunciation of the party machinery of both partiej, for such work, would be patriotic. The denunciation by one party of another for that of which both are guilty is open to the charge of shallowness and insincerity. These qualities are also prominent in the failure of the political reformers to say anything about the forcible exclusion of the Lieutenant Governor of Indiana, the other day, from the performance of his'legal and constitutional duty. Political history has in the present decade hardly afforded an example of more wanton disregard for law and popular government than in the employment of force to keep an official, of whose election there is now no'dispute, from the performance of the duties defined by the Constitution. There could hardly be worse anarchy than this; but we have yet to find any Democratic disapproval of this practi cal declaration that party advantage shall prevail over the declared will of the people. If Chairman Brennen 'had devoted his eloquence the other day to denouncing the indications of partisan corruption and law lessness, which have been given both by Democrats and Republicans, he would have taken position as a citin anxious for the preservation of the Republic, rather than as a partisan trying to make capital for his own party. IT WOULD BE SELF DEFEATING. The arguments which are published, as justifying the formation of a Window Glass Trust, are peculiar in theirbearing, both in showing the needlessness of any such com bination, and, in connection with that, proving its utter futility. It is first asserted that there have been so many new lactories built in the gas districts that glass is now sold below cost. If that is the case it is strange that so many new factories have been built, and also that all the factories keep on running. It has for many years been a recognized business principle in the glass and iron business that when an establishment loses money by running, it must shut down till it can get at least cost for its products. That principle was put into force between 1871 and 1878, and it was clearly demonstrated that, though it involves hardships, it is the only safe and conservative method of getting over an ad verse condition of business. But the postulate of this argument is im mediately contradicted by the assertion that in a month a big factory will start up. The singular feature of a large concern starting up on a market which does not return the cost of production, is explained by the statement that this concern can profitablyproduce and sell at lower prices than other factories. This indicates that the real condition of the glass market is that it does yield a profit to the new factories, but leaves the old ones in a tight place; and the proposition for a trust is to help the latter. Apart from the ab stract question whether it is right to prevent the legitimate results of improved lactories and favorable locations, and also apart from the practical question whether the factories that can sell at a profit will permit them selves to be burdened with the task of de fending the profits of the old ones, do not the glass men see that the trust device will only aggravate this condition of affairs? When favorably located factories are starting up to take a profit at the present prices, is there anything more certain than that advancing prices by means of combination would only stimulate the building of more new and im proved factories at the beet localities? These new factories would either divide the spoils of the combination or take the cream ol the enhanced profits which the combina tion would try to establish. The last state of the glass industry after a couple of years of trust prices, as a magnet to new caDltal, would be worse than the first It is the main injustice of the combina tion plan, that its illicit gains are obtaina ble only by a few favored industries; and thus it establishes privileged classes in trade. The vast majority of industries can no more escape the action of competition than they can that of gravitation. The glass industry is one of the latter class; and no better proof of the fact is needed than the proposal of a remedy for the reduction of prices by the building of new and improved factories, which would offer a premium to the building of still more of them. DANGEES IN EAPLD TRANSIT. The dangers of new and partly-understood forms of transit received an illustration in this city, yesterday, where a casual start of the grip on one of the traction lines, cost a gripman severe injuries, if not fatal ones. Such an accident is by no means so threaten ing as that exemplified on the cable lines in Chicago, some time since, when the tangling of a loose wire of the cable around a grip sent the car remorselessly through every thing that got in the way, until its complete wreck stopped the cable. It is said that such an accident is guarded against here; and it certainly is to be hoped that the pre-, cautions are adequate. Neither of these accidents, however, is so appalling as the possibility revealed on a New York elevated lailroad the other day, when the break-down of a part of an engine at the point where the track has its greatest elevation, threw it from the track and left a whole train load of passengers in momen tary doubt whether they were not to be pre cipitated to the ground. The elevated rail roads are cot a new method of transit to New York; but thoughtful people have long recognized that their real test was to come when their apparatus and structure com menced to feel the effects of time. This narrow escape from wholesale slaughter, re sulting as it did from the wear on a portion of the locomotive, has started investigation; and it has been found that essential portions of the elevated road are in a cracked and hazardous condition. If there is not prompt and thorough renewal of such places we may hear of calamities in New York that will condemn the elevated roads to disuse. There is a suspicion that the proprietors of those corporations have not been half so in dustrious in renewing and repairing the superstructure as they have been in water ing their stock. These miscarriages should cot condemn or discourage progress in improved methods of transit. A quick perception and thor ough study of the dangers of new methods is the surest way to make them safe. New York's experience, indeed, may yet lead to the conclusion that the safest enterprises are those which keep great and rapidly moving weights.in the closest relations with terra Jirma. The Mayor of Bordentown, X. J., is criticised by theiNew York .Journal for thinking that ninemonths' imprisonment is sufficient punishment for White Caps. It maybe a short term for theorganization of a system of infamous conspiracies; but if all the White Caps were sent to prison for nine months there would be a period of relief from the evil. Iu other words, nine months' imprisonment is a vast improvement on no imprisonment at all. The young Emperor of Germany de clares that Germany can confidently rely on the blessings of peace; but the first ot those blessings, in the reduction of the overgrown and costly German army, does not appear to be materializing in connection with the speech. The majority in the House appears, to have conie to the conclusion that the job of sitting down on Samuel J. Randall, which was undertaken last year, resulted in the wrong person being suppressed. At all events, the vote on the reference of the to bacco tax bill, yesterday, puts Mr. Mills and his crowd in the position of the persons who are used as a seat Me. Halstead's declaration that Presi dent Harrison may omit Ohio from the Cab inet list without hurting Ohio's feelings, may be founded on the conviction that such a course would leave two or three foreign missions open to the ambition of the Ohio editors. Senator Palmer's Sunday dinner par ties are a feature of fashionable society in Washington this winter. There is such a difierence between the moral attitude of a millionaire Senator and the poor working man who likes to get a mixture of beer and music on Sunday, that the Senator for a temperance State will not be interfered with. The January dividends in Boston amount to Sli'.GOO.OOO, an average of $30 lor each man, woman and child in the city. But we regret to note that they were not distributed that way. The majority of the population did cot get a cent of them. 3 The election of Walcott, of Colorado, to the United States Senate, is listed by the Philadelphia Record as No. 31, of the rail road representatives in that body. But Delaware, Minnesota and New Jersey are organizing against the railroad 'candidates in a way that may decrease the strength of that party in the National Legislature. The desire of Mr. C. P. Huntington for the free importation of Chinese labor has at least the virtue of frankness. But it is noticeable that it was rigidly suppressed until after the election, was over. It is interesting to observe that a New York paper is moved to remark: "The most disgusting of bench shows is when a judge sits there disguised in liquor." This pro vokes the interesting inquiry, which of the metropolitan judiciary has been giving way to his enemy to such a degree as to provoke comment in New York. There is an intimation in the dismissal of the grand jury yesterday that the judges regard a grand jury that will cot do its work, as a shade worse than no grand jury at all. The deadly car stove and the negligent flagman combined their efforts yesterday near Tallmadge, O., on the New York, Pennsylvania and Ohio railroad, and man aged to destroy eight lives. It is to be per ceived that the car stove, which was an nounced to go a year ago, is still going on a majority of the trains. The West Tirginia fight reverses the proverbial figure of speech, and is typified by linked bitterness long drawn out. The bold declaration is made by the New York Graphic that "the low-necked dress must go." The boldness depends con siderably on construction, however. Fashion has for some years decreed that the low necked dress must go to all the balls, re ceptions and dinners to which the fair owner is invited. PUBLIC PEOPLE PARAGRAPHED. The German Empress, says the London Star, is a perfectly colorless character, who has no opinions of her own, and she is completely under the domination of her husband. The Duchess Adelaide, of Schleswig-Hol-stein, the mother of the German Empress, is seriously ill at her castle at Lomsenburg. The Duchess is 53 years old, and the primary cause of her ill-health is said to be a fall she had in her room, by which she injured the back of her neck. Ub. Hammer, the new President of the Swiss Confederation, was Swiss Ambassador at the Court of Berlin from 18G3 to 1876, after which he entered the Federal Council. He is not a brilliant orator by any means, but he is described as a conscientious administrator, a man of a calm, just moderate judgment, and, over and above all, very gentlemanly. Fau-y Davenport has had good luck. Not long ago she bought some land in the suburbs of Chicago known as the Grant estate. It be longed to the late General Grant and for It Miss Davenport paid $18,000. Last week she received a letter from her attorney inclosing an offer of $50,800 for the property. Miss Davenport will probably sell the land and in vest the proceeds in other Chicago real estate. A Hartford newspaper remarks: "Mrs. Harriet Beecher Stowe's restoration to health after her serious illness last summer is a great surprise and delight to her friends. When she returned from her summer home at Sac: Har bor her physician believed her end was only a 1 matter of a few days, but now his patient is able to sit up, walk about the house and in pleasant weather venture outdoors, although she is very weak, She has written several let ters and there are no signs of weakness in her usual firm handwriting." Frank Carpenter, the portrait painter, is working steadily on a historical picture which he hopes to make a fitting companion for his "Signing of the Emancipation Proclamation," cow in the House wing of the National Capi tol. 1 lie subject of this latter composition is the negotiation of the Washington Treaty ad justing the Alabama and other difficulties with Great Britain. The negotiators are seated around the table signing the treaty. The por traits are superb and the grouping Is striking, while reasonably accurate in a historical sense. The canvas is not as large as that of the Eman cipation picture, andffor that reason it prom ises to be even more effective. Here is a story which is vouched for by a well-known Conservative Member of Parlia ment. Mr. Gladstone walked down to the House of Commons one afternoon enveloped, after his wont in a thick dark cloak. Behind him, at a distance of a few yards, -walked the Conservative Member in question. When near St Stephen's, the Conservative Member ob served that a man who was on the pavement stepped forward and said something in the ear of the Liberal leader. Mr. Gladstone threw his head In the air ana walked on, while the man looked after him with a satisfied expres sion. The Conservative Member's curiosity was awakened, and he went up to the man. "What did yon say to Mr. Gladstone T" he said. "Oh." was the reply, "I only told him ho was a old scoundrel!" THE STATE LAW STANDS. West Virginia' Rules a to Qnnliflcationi of Physicians Sustained. Washington, January 11 The Supreme Court to-day rendered an opinion in the case of Frank M. Dent, plaintiff in error, versus the State of West Virginia, in error to the Su premo Court ot Appeals to the State of .West Virginia. Dent was convicted of unlawfully engaging In the practice of medicine without a diploma, In violation of a statute of the State which requires every practitioner of medicine to obtain a certificate fiom the State Boanfcpf Health that be is a graduate of a reputable medical college, oi that be has practiced medl cinejn the State continuously for ten jears, or that he has been found upon examination by the board to be qualified to practice medicine. Dent appealed the case to the State court of Appeals, asserting that the act was unconsti tutional, inasmuch as it deprived him of lib erty and property without due process of law, contrary to the fourteenth amendment to the Constitution. The Court of Appeals cave judgment against Dent, and this Court affirms that decision. . THE" PZLTSBTJKG DISPATCH, AET IN PABIS. Pnrlslnn Painters Wnnt Pictures Placed on tho Tree List Discrimination Against American Students In French Art Schools A Woman's Anger. rconnrsroxDENCE or tiie dispatch. Paris, December 28. Art continues to hold Its own in La Belle Paris, notwithstanding partv strife and the Boulanger boom. The painters and sculptors pursue their work un moved by the uproar Sbout them, busily pre paring for the coming salon and putting the finishing touches on their masterpieces with brush and chisel. Tho air Is fall ot reports of startling naturalistic pictures which will soon meet the public gaze. Artists here have "had a bad time lately. There has been a great fall in prices the 30 pel cent duty did It Previous to the protec tionist measure the Yankee to transatlantic eyes all Americans are Yankees was the savior of the French painter. All rich Americans come to Paris to buy pictures, and as a good many of them are not exactly con noisseurs, lots of rubbish goes acroBS the Afc lantic The prognostication that ,the hated duty will be abolished or lowered lias1 made glad the souls of Parisian daubed, who really think that there are no critics of any account In the land of pork, petroleum and pig iron. Bad prices or no prices, tho number of the wielders of the brush goes on increasing. At the opening of the present session of the Ecole des Beaux Arts 1,200 pupils presented themselves for admission. m A few days ago at one of the leading art schools of this city an incident occurred, which, some may say, shows the prejudice against American students on account of the 30 per cent duty. The master, in looking over the as sembled sketches, was much struck with a par ticular one, and the students gathered around, thought it would get the first prize, but on ask ing for the author, an American stepped for ward. That was quite another thing. The first prize was awarded to a Frenchman. . There aro are about 400 students at tho Julian Academy, of all nationalities and ages. Among them are 60 Americans, San Franci9co furnishing the majority. England is (.repre sented by 80 or thereabouts, and their conceit is proverbial. A Spanish Count works side by side with me, and, in the language of the Atelier, his work is horrible. A few Russians, a Japanese or two and a sprinkling of Germans complete the number. Of course, the French are In the majority. The Bohemian Club of San Francisco, which purchased the last Salon picture of Charles Sprague Pearce, receives great attention from the art-loving Californlans. The artist has re ceived an official notice of the approval of the club of its choice. He also received an ac count of a stag reception given in its honor, followed by ono given by the fair sex. The club has determined to add a Salon picture each year to its already interesting gallery. Mr. Henry Mosi.er, of Cincinnati, who was employed during the war as an artist for the Harpers, and who has tho enviable distinction of having a picture in the Luxembourg, thus insuring his immortality on the rolls of fame, is at work on a large canvas for the '89 salon an interior of a peasant's cottage in Brittany. He has secured a commission for three pictures at an enormous price, from Warner, the Safe Cure man, for his gallery in Chicago. The majority of the American art students here are in favor of returning the 30 per cent duty. They say if such duty was abolished that America would be flooded with mediocre and worthless daubs of which Paris is full, as a glance at the windows of any picture dealer is ample evidence. It is hard to reconcile this with the statement that tho majority of our home artists are entirely of a different opinion. Mr. Elmer Salisbury, a former resident of the Southside, who has been for the past three years studying here under Bongeseau Boulanger Lefeburo and Henry Mosler, ex pects to be back in his native city in Septem ber next. He intends to take a tour through Holland, England, Ireland and Scotland before embarking. He is at present engaged on a large paintlng'intended for the coming salon. AT tho LuxemDourg gallery students are not allowed to copy after 2 P. sr. on account of the wife of one of tho Ministers taking umbrage at a student who gently told her most politely that she was obstructing the passage of the sunlight on Its way to his canvas, though he did not exactly conch It in such language, the ukase went forth, which is a source of great annoyance to the art students. C. S. ReinHART is not devoting much of his time to illustrations at present, as he has on hand a good deal of work In oils, among- them the picture for the coming salon. A fellow student who is well acquainted with him told me that he greatly deplores the recent loss of his wife; but she has left him two charming children a boy and a girl whom their father dotes on. The usual plan for students who copy at the public gallcrieshere is to procure a photograph of the picture Intended to be copied, and en large itat leisure at their home, and then tako it to the eallery for the colors. It saves a good deal of time, and is a decided advantage, as the authorities only give a certain time for copying each picture. Mr. Albert Reinhart, who has been sketching during the summer at Brittany has returned to Paris. Ho is located at the. Hotel de Champagne, 62 Rue La Condamine. Ridgway Knight has just finished an order for a London art firm an autumn landscape, with peasant figures, for which class of work this artist is justly celebrated. Mr. H L Levy, of New York City, won tho first prize forth dliest composition at the Julian Academic during the month of December. DeV. Scanlan. A BIG JOB COMPLETED. Mxty Clerks Employed Four Days Count Ins Internal Revenue MnmpK. Washington, January H The committee appointed to make an examination and count ol the stamps In tfie vaults of the Internal Revenue Bureau at the close of business Janu ary 5, ISiS, have iust submitted their report to the Secretary. It shows that there were on hand January It 18S8, when the previous exam ination was made, 77.621,206 stamps, and that there wcre received from that date to January 5. 1SS9. 695)811,G30 stamps, making the total to be acconnte.1 for 773,412.830, representing about $190,000,000. There were issued and destroyed during this period 6S0,3S9.35l stamps, leav ing a balance In the vaults at the date of the present count of 93,043,4S5 stamps. The entire transactions of the vear were con ducted without an error. A force of 66 em plo es was required during four days to make the examinatiou. HOW IT WILL BE DOXE. Scnntor Uonr Offers a Plan for the Count ing In of Harrison. Washington, January 14. Mr. Hoar intro duced In the Senate to day a concurrent resolu tion for the counting of the vote for President and Vice President, which was referred to the Committee on Privileges and Elections. It pro vides that the two Houses of Congress shall assemble in the hall of the House of Rep resentatives on Wednesday, February 13 next, at 1 o'clock in the afternoon: that the President of the Senate shall be the presiding officer. That two persons shall be appointed tellers on the part of the Senate and two on the part of the House, to make a list of the votes and to report the result to the President of the Sen ate, who is to announce the State of the vote and the persons elected, and (piat that shall be deemed a declaration of the persons elected President and Vice President of the United States, and shall bo entered on the journal of the two houses. DEATHS OP A BAY. Dr. A. R. McClnre. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. Bellaire, 0.,-January 14. Ur. A. E. McClnie, a well-known physician of this city, aled suddenly his afternoon of congestion of the lungs. He leavs a wife and two children. The remains will be taken to 24 ew Castle for lntermeut. P. O. Llltlrjohn. ALLEGAN. Mien.. January 14.-P. O. Little- John died here yesterday, aped 73. He was the contractor who built the Haltlmore and Ohio road qver the taoun tains, and was a brother of Bishop Llttlejohn, of thcBrooklvn diocese. TUESDAY, JANUAKY 15, THE PITTSBURG STAGE. Large Houses Witness Performances That Interest and Amnse. There was a good deal of laughter In the Bijou Theater last night. A man in the gallery made about one-third of it: the other specta tors contributed their share, and the people on the stage furnished the rest The man in the gallery was vastly amused, and couldn't help letting everybody know it. His laugh wasn't loud, but It wa3 far reaching and peculiar, and the consequence was the audience became so much interested in him that at times they paid very little attention to .whaMhe actors were doing or saying., As for "A Paper Doll," it is farcical nonsense of tho very lightest sort. Some of it is amus ing and a good deal isn't But Kate Castleton and tho clever people who accompany her are capable of giving a very good performance, even if they had nothing to do except dance, sine and indulge in mJrtb-provoklng tricks. Miss Castleton is as pleasing as ever, and she received a most cordial greeting from ber old admirers. Mr. Peter F. Daily, who played Horace Buckley, is a comedian of more than average ability, and he makes an admirable "right hand man" for sprightly Dolly Chirruper. Mr. Berte Coote, in the role of Simon Dovetail? a love-sick pout indulged in a good many eccentricities which the gallery seemed to admire. Miss Ada Deaves as 2Iiss Bucklev. a romantic maiden. win longet voung, was chiefly remarkable for hardly as natural as that of the unknown in the gallery, but it was a refreshing noveltv nevertheless. The rest of the cast did very well the little thev had to do. There was a large house, and it is safe to predict a successful week for "A Paper Doll." ' Herrmann's Legerdemain. Herrmann, D'Alvinl, Madame Herrmann and a number of assistants gave a performance at the Grand Opera House, which was doubt less satisfactory to those who had not seen It befbre. Aside from the novel, startling and horrible act which is sufficiently described by the title that -Herrmann gives it "Crema tion," there was very little in the pro gramme that was new. Herrmann performed numerous tricks, which occupied him for about half an hour. Then came a long wait (these waiting spells, by the way, were numer ous and intolerably protracted;, after which D'Alvinl succeeded in mystifying everybody by his dexterous feats. Then succeeded "cre mation," which must have made everybody nervous, except those who delight in the ultra sensational, and afterrard a number of pretty magic lantern pictures the very same ones which wcre exhibited in the same theater last year and more of Herrmann's sleight-of-hand. An unusually large Monday night audi enca was present. One of the Finest. "One of tho Finest" as given by Ed J. Has son's Company at Harris' Theater this week, will please the large audiences that one looks for and is sure to find at this popular house. The long list of characters, from JohnMithler, the model German policeman, to the inmates of the insane asylum and the wharf rats, are equal to all demands on them, and the scenery and properties of the play are also good. In terest in the familiar drama, from the first act to the end, is well sustained, and the climaxes all evoke hearty applause. Matinees this week are given daily. Rice's Vaudeville Stars. This company gave a capital performance, which was witnessed by a crowded house, at Harry Williams' Academy. Jack Dempsey, "the Nonpareil," in a friendly encounter with Denny Costigau, was of course the leading at traction. Clever special acts, amusing variety business, songs, etc., made up a good and in teresting programme. Among the well-known "stars" aro Thomas & Watson. Ward fc Lynch, Miss Emma Rogers, Harry McAvoy and the Costello Brothers. Casino Attractions. Coffee, the skeleton dude, still occupies first place among tho many curiosities at tho Casino Museum. This -will be his last week here. Other interesting freaks are the baby midget and Colonel Decker, the English dude. A large number of clever variety people give a good stage performance. RECOGNITION ABROAD. Plltsbnrgers Complimented for Heroism at the Recent Dlsnster. From the New York Tribune. There was the case of Fireman Snyder, in Pittsburg, who risked his life to rescue a mes senger boy. 14 years old. from the ruins of a seven-story building blown dnwn by the tor nado. The boy was pinned down in the cellar by a scantling that lay across his breast. Above him was a mass of timbers and bricks appar ently kept in place by the scantling. Snyder not a name that would ordinarily suggest heroism came forward and offered to cut the timber awav, taking the risk of being crushed to death by the avalanche that might come down upon him. Happily, there was no col lapse of the overhanging mass, and the boy was taken home to die in his parents' arms. It is more than likely that tlat poor father and mother think a good deal of Snyder, and think none the less of him because his name is not what would bo called high-sounding. It may be that they get a little wet about the eyelids when that very prosaic name is mentioned. Let us hope tbey do. Then there was Father Canevin, who, with a man named Devlin, was supplying the same poor boy with a drink of water, at the peril of both their lives, when he saw a wall falling upon them. He gave his companion a push so as to save him, and then met te shock in such a way that he might save as much breathing space as possible for the imprisoned lad. The priest was a hero, and we need not lose sight of that fact because there have been many such priests, or because we take heroism in such men as a matter of course. And why is not Abraham Lincoln Pcarsol a good name, that something of a hero? He is the Pittsburg steamboat mate who appeared on the scene without any authority but that given him by his pluck and brains, and took charge of the work of rescuo from the ruins. It was Pearsol who scaled a tottering wall and lassood a seven-story chimney which' was threatening life every moment that it remained standing, and which could then be pulled down. Up to his arrival that chimney seemed to be a hopeless problem, but Pearsol solved it prompt ly by the simple problem of putting his own body in peril. Whenever we want a seven story chimney lassoed we shall send for Pear sol. He is xa brave and ready man, and no like him. TIIE SUGAR BOUNTY. An Amendment to the Senntc Tnrifl" Bill for the Benefit of the South. Washington, January 14. When the Senate resumed consideration of the tariff bill to-day Sir. Allison, on the part of the Finance Committee, reported .two new sections which he proposed to offer as amendments. They relate to a bounty on sugar, and provide that, until Apiil, 1S0U, there shall be paid to the producer ot sugar (testing not less than SO degrees by the polariscope) from beet, sorghum or sugar cane, grown within the United States, a bounty of 1 cent a pound, under such rules and regulations as the Com missioners of Internal Revenue, with the ap proval of the Secretary of the Treasury, shall prescribe. Tho bounty is to be paid annually from the duties collected on imported sugar. The pending question was on the amend ment offered by Mr. Gray last Saturday to section 2,510, as to the admission of material, free of duty, necessary for the construction and equipment of vessels built in the United States for foreign account and ownership, or for the foreign trade the amendment being to strike out of the section the words "angles, beam and bolts, and copper and composition metal which may be necessary for the con struction and equipment of vessels." and to insert In lieu thereot the words "sheets, angles, beams and bolts, deck and bulb-beams; together with all structural-shaped iron or Bteel and copper and composition metal; forg tngs of iron or steel; castings of iron, steel or composition: flues and tubes of-Iron, steel or composition; machinery and parts of machines; and all other articles of foreign production necessary for the construction and equipment of steamers or other ves-els." This amendment, together with several others, was rejected, all of them on strict party lines. t . The Drng Clerk in Kentucky. From the Chlcasro Times. 1 The State Board of Pharmacy of Kentucky has been ta'ken to task for granting a certificate of proficiency to a young man who failed to pass an examination. It was not the young man's fault, probably. The chances are that he showed the board how he could fill a pint flask, stopper It, and then gave them a new way to draw the stopper, and the board sup posed that was all a Kentucky drug clerk should know and issued the certificate. Unytl's Triumvirate. Prom the Hew York Trlbune.1 Yellow Jack ha3 formed a working alliance with both, Legitime and Hyppollte against the United States. 1889. AN AMERICAN BELLE. How She ! Brought TJp, Educated and Trained for Social Life. From the Providence Journal. 1 A New York girl is as brilliant beautiful and Incomprehensible a thing as one of Browning's poems. Happening to sit at lunch the other day next to one of the most successful debu tantes of the season I thought I would mako some gentle inquiries about her earlier life. She was a charming creature, eminently New Yorkish, and, without being strictly handsome, was irresistible. She was tall and not too slight with a well developed fleure. A warm color mantled on ber clear cheek, and her .features were fairly regular, tho chief attrac tion being a pair of large, dark blue eyes, shaded by long lashes, which she'knew very well to be her best point, and used with great effect As she pulled off her long gray gloves and took up her oyster fork I noticed her beautiful hands, which were long nd slender, with perfect almond-fhaped nails that bespoke the manicure's frequent care, and taper fingers. Her rings were few, but costly too costly. "Where did you go to school?" I asked, to begin with. "In New York, or were you at boarding school somewhere?" She turned her beautiful eyes upon me in pretty perplexity. When she spoke her voice was dellghtfnl, quite English In its rich, gen erous quality, and she talked slowly, with a sort of quiet dignity that was very charming. "Oh, nol I never went to school," said she, smiling. "I had a governess and masters at home. My governess taught me the necessary smatterings of history, arithmetic and geogra phy, and being a Frenchwoman always spoke ber own language with me. My maid was also French, that being ono of my earliest accom plishments. Then masters came in for German and Italian, music anddanemg. Oh, dearl what care they did takel I had to walk somany hoars a day, take a cold plunge bath every morning that was for my complexion go to the dentist every month, have my hair brushed by Celine for an hour every night before I went to bed, and sit for a long time every morning with my shoulder strained against a back board to make sure that my figure would be good. I rose every morning at 7 and went to bed every night at 8. This nent on until I was 16. n'At 16," she said, "they took me aboard. Even on the steamer I was not allowed to make any acquaintances. I spent a year at school in Leipsic, a very small and expensivo place, where there were young German girls of high degree and a scattering of English and Ameri cans: from the best families, with whom I was not only permitted but instructed to bee ime Intimate. Then mamma came again, and this time took me to Paris, where I stayed another year at the Sacre Coeur. Then I was 18, and it was time to prepareYor the Important event of mv coming out I left the convent in March, arid for the next three months we had a most glorious time getting my things to gether in Paris. I assure you mamma spent quite 810,000 for the gown, hats and chiffon, she said were absolutely neces sary for my first season. From a mere child 1 suddenly bloomed into a young woman. Mamma took me with her to one or two enter tainments in Paris; after that we went to Lon don just for tho end of the season, but it was divine: then to Newport for August, to Lenox for September and October, to Tuxedo for November, and then to New York, where early this month mamma gave a great reception to introduce me. And such a good time as I have had since. I think, after' all, it is a good plan to keep girls in the background until they are ready to come out They enjoy It all the more because everything Is so new." Certainly, her education had been an unmiti gated success. She asked me to come and see ber, which I did the next day. She lived in a gorgeous house on Fifth avenue, away up by the park, and I fonnd h'cr in a lovely littienest her own rooms, a dainty chamber all white and gold, with silver brushes and combs and glasses strewn all over the toilet table, costly favors, trophies of her many triumphant co tillons decking the walls, and .her.Christmas gifts, which were worth a small fortune, thrown carelessly about here and there. Then she bad a luxurious little boudoir besides. Herbrisk. white-capped maid, a quick-witted Frenchwoman, anticipated her every want She bad but to ask for a thing, and presto! she had It, whatever its price, and it really seemed as If she ought to have been a perfectly happy being. But ah! The little rift within the lute! She had given her young heart to Philip Van Van derness, who has only $3,000 a year. To at tempt matrimony on that meager pittance would be sheer madness,so the fair debutante's papa declares, and be utterly scorns such a Jiartl. The debutante, herself knows it to be mpossiblc, and while she tells her impecunious lover that she can never marry any man who hasn't at least an income ten times as large as his she feels that she would rather be less fond of the luxury which has become necessity to her and be happy in a simple way. That how ever, her education had made out of tho ques tion. HARRISON'S CALLER. A Countryman Who Wished to be Certain He Wns Visiting the President-Elect. Indianapolis, January 14. An interesting anecdote is told here recently which shows what odd callers General Harrison sometimes has. The first story dates back to the days just after tho election. A big countryman, It is said, in high rough boots, and with his shirt front open to the air, stalked across the Gen eral's lawn one afternoon, and not recognizing the electric bell button, gave several resound ing thumps on the front door. General Harri son was sitting in the front parlor with a few friends, and, taking the situation in ata glance, stepped out into the hall and opened the door himself. The backwoodsman walked in un abashed, and asked in stentorian tones if he was speaking to General Harrison. "Yes, ray name is Harrison," said the President-elect. "So you're to bo our next President," the big Hoosier continued with a bold front. "I never seen a real President, so I thought I'd come out and see you." This was the ending point of the country man's ideas. He hemmed and haw ed, and then began again: "Well, well, so you're to be our next Presi dent." "Yes," said the General smillnglv. "Well, I'm glad to see a live President" Then the six-foot visitor fell into the old round once more. After the fourth or fifth in quiry as to whether he was going to be the next President, the General said good-hu-moredlj: "Yes, I suppose so, if I live until the 4th of March." Finally the countrvman backed out of the door, fully satisfied that be had done his duty to the President-elect, and had had a highly conventional and delightful interview." SENATOR HOAR RE-ELECTED. He Will Have No Opposition for the United States Sennte. Special iciCKl.iu tv .lit. viav.HU, . boston, January 14. ueorge trisDie ioar will be re-elected to the United States Senate to-morrow without any opposition. There is no outside interest in the election on this ac count The members of both parties held caucuses to-day, the Republicans devotine the time to eulogizing Senator Hoar, llle the Democrats voted to cast a complimentary vote for General Patrick A. Collins. In the Democratic caucus the first vote re sulted in a tie between General Collins and the Hon. William E. Russell, of Cambridge. On the second ballot General Collins leceived a majority, and then the vote was made unani mous. To-morrow both parties will go through the form of an election, and will announce Senator Hoar's return to the Senate for the next six years. NO DRINKS OR DANCttG. Boston Preachers Protest Against Either During the Innngurntlon Ceremonies. Boston, January 11 The Boston Evangeli cal Alliance of Ministers, comprising all Evan gelical denominations, adopted a resolution to day, expressing Its conviction, that out of re spect for President Harrison, the purchase and use of intoxicating liquors be dispensed with at the inauguration coremony, and a ceremony substituted for the usual ball. There Are Some Happy Americans. From the New York Tribune. There are some American citizens in Alaska who haven't yet heard who was elected. This is very unfortunate, but they can comfort themselves with the reflection that they don't have to read anything about the Cabinet Tnsfflnc From Cigarette Smoking. Special 1 eleVram to the Dispatch. Williamsport, January 14. Horace W. Watkins, 63 years old, has become Insane from the effects of excessive cigarette smoking. He has been taken to the Danville asylum for treatment What It Cost. From the New York World. After all our little campaign to Hayttha cost a dozen lives. The celebrated, battle of New Orleans under Jackson only cost us seven. I THE GOSSIP OF GOTHAM. Why thfl Bnhbnlh Is Observed. fNIW YOnit BUBXAU 6FXCIALS.1 JMKwyORK, January t Colonel Elliott F. Sbepard tells to-day in hlsnewspaper, the Mail and JSxprets, why his Board of Directors of the Fifth Avenue Stage Company decided to dis continue running stages on Sunday. Here is his explanation: "The financial folly of break ing tho fourth commandment as If there were no God, or He had repealed that or any other of His commandments, has been fully demon strated by nearly a year's experience, in the os3 of ho'rses, dishonesty and carelessness of drivers, and general dilapidation of property, estimated by some to be equal to more than 10 per cent of tho capital. In one year." A Struggle Over a Swamp. Austin Corbin is having a legal tussel with William and Hewlett Weeks, of Babylon. L. I. The small bit of Babjlon that Mr. Corbin does not own belongs to the Weeks brothers. Mr. Corbin's estate Is a big park, carefully drained and stocked with 310,000 worth of deer. Mr. Corbin has also a trout preserve and any number of like luxuries. But he can't enjoy them, he thinks, till the Weeks brothers drain their swamp. The malaria induced by the stagnant water on the Weeks farm has fre quently givSn him the ague. The Weeks brothers say they will do what they wish with their own swamp. Mr. Corbinis lawyer ba3 been telling a judge all day why they should be compelled to drain it Sad Accident In a Bowling Alley. Joseph Lomica took his little danghter to a meeting of bis bowling club last night. He put her down at the side ot the alley, just as John Schmidt began to bowl. Schmidt stumbled as be threw his first ball, and sent the ball through the air instead of along the alley. It struck little Katie Lomica on the head. She is still unconscious and cannot recover. She Snw a Great Growth. Lady Superior Maria Seraflna,ot the Convent ot the Sisters of St. DomlnicBrooklyn, died of heart disease this morning. She was 60 years old. She became Lady Superior of the con vent in 1864, when it bad but 29 sisters. It now has 300. A Fatal Qnarrel .Over Marbles. John Smith, 11 years old, and Edward Braol, 13 years old quarreled to-day over a game of marbles. They began fighting. Young Braol struck Smith on the head with a board. The blow was so violent as to cause concussion of the brain. Young Smith will die. The police are looking for the playmate, who ran away. Stnbbed by strikers. James Winters, G5 years old, and the father of four children, refused to join the strike of carpet weavers In Higgins' factory. Last night Patrick Reiliy and Daniel McNichol knocked him down in the street, beat him and stabbed him. He is in a hospital and his assailants are locked up. Done for Her Diamonds. Mrs. Emma Holesworth and her daughter called UDon Mrs. Elizabeth Huberlast evening. They looked at Mrs. Huber's diamonds and asked her to show them her new watch. While Mrs. Huber was upstairs gettinghernew watch her diamond earrings, valued at 1600, disap peared. She bad Mrs. Holesworth arrested for stealing them this morning. Both women are well-to-do and dress elegantly. A HOPEFUL SITUATION. The Inter-Stato Commerce Railway Asso ciation a Commendnble Organization Special Telegram to the'Dlspatch. New York, January 14. Henry Clew & Son sav to-day: The event of the week in financial circles, has, of course, been the formation of the Inter-State Commerce Railway Association, the main objects of which shall be the enforce ment of the Inter-State Commerce law and the establishment of reasonable and stable rates. It is almost unnecessary to say that such ob jects are in every way commendable and fair. Stockholders have had just cause for insisting upon more Integrity in management in fair re turns on their Investments; and shippers can have no canse of complaint so long as rates are maintained upon an equitable basis and all are placed upon equal toottng, stability of rates being essential to a healthy development of business. The general situation outside of Wall street ishopefnl. Trade Is reviving slowly after the quiet incidental to the holidays, and we hear few complaints about the volume of business. The railroads continue to show Increased gross earnings, and with continued favorable weather conditions should soon be able to make even better comparisons than last year. In one respect however, the present mild weather is a positive disadvantage, as It checks sleighing, tho only means of transportation in many of the country districts, and thus delays the marketing of crops. It also lessens the consumption of heavy clothing; still these are only minor drawbacks, finding compensation in other directions. Tho tendency of money is toward lower rates both here and in Europe, though tho prospects of gold exports may mako the decline relatively less here than abroad. Tho bank statement was surprisingly good, showing an Increase of 57,216,050 In sur plus reserve, duo mainly to Government pay ments and partly to the return of currency from the interior. Txmdon displays rather more con- nuence in Amqncan securities, out is inactive, and our own market lacks the advantage of an outside interest, the public still showing little speculative activity. For the time being wo advise against short sales, except for quick turns, and then only on top of sharp rallies; whilo buying should be confined to moderate reactions, taking profits upon any pronounced advance. - RAN AWAI WITH A BOARDER, And tho Young Lady's Father Wns So Angry Tfant He Fired Their Baggage. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. Geneva, N. Y., January 14. Miss Lulu Stetson and John Peterson, of Geneva, eloped on Wednesday and were married at Romulus by the Rev. J. W. Jacks. They told Mr. Jacks that they were from Penn Yan. Peterson is a malster. Lulu Is the daughter of E. G. Stet son, a dentist Peterson went there to board two months ago. and thus became acquainted with Lulu. Before that he had paid his ad dresses for a year to Bridget Jennings, who is employed by W. C. Hopkins, an electric doctor. On Christmas Day he gave Bridget a handsome gold watch, but it seems Lulu stole his heart away, and a short time ago he asked Bridget fora return of the watch. She gave it to him. Mr. and Mrs. Stetson objected to Peterson's attentions to their danghter, and forbade her accepting him. It is said that when Mr. Stet son learned what had occurred he had the trunks of tho bride and groom picked and placed upon tho back stoop of his house. THE SWEETEST OP TRUSTS. t Adrian College Boys Form a Corner in tho Sweetheart Market. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. Adrian. Sficn., January 14. Among the features of Adrian College which are not set forth in the annual catalogue is a "best girl trust." The young men are sworn to secrecy and to abide by the rules of the trust the ob ject being tho monopoly of the best girls in the college. The organization began by selecting as many girls as thero were members of tho trust who were divided by lot, the provision being that each man should entirely monopolize the lady assigned to him for one month, and to allow no other man to escort her on foot, on pain of a heavy fine and imprisonment in a coal shed until re leased by the faculty. At the end of the'montb each member must trade girls with some other member, if called upon to do so. The trust has been in operuion for some time, and it is said to be flourishing. STUDENTS SECEDE. They Withdraw From a College Because a Professor Is Superceded. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. New York. January 11 Delancey Arm strong, on behalf of the 91 students of the New York Cullege of Dentistry, who rebelled at the action of the University Medical College toward Prof. WeiS3e. presented a paper to Dean Charles J. Pardee, of the medical college, tolay formally notifying him of their with drawal. The withdrawal will not materially affect the work of the students this year, as tbey have practically completed the work which was required of them. It is possible that the dental students will ultimately go to some other college, or that a dissecting r.iom will he established in connection with the den tal college. Fifteen of the 91 disaffected students, who had intended to enter the medical college after graduating from the college of dentistry, have decided to go elsewhere. - CURIOUS CONDENSATIONS. There are 1,000 registered dentists In Massachusetts. A singular accident happened at Al bany recently. A horse being ridden was sud denly paralyzed and its hoofs gave way, turn ing up to its fetldcks, while the horse camo down on its ankle bones. There is a married man in Atlanta who wears eyeglasses with a gold rim. His wffa wears eyeglasses too, and tho two pairs are just alike. They are the parents of three, children the youngest being 18 years of age and each of the children are near-sighted so much so that they wear eyeglasses too. Five pairs of eyeglasses in one family Is rather unusual. Habitual beating down is one of the very bad habits. Recently an Oxford county, Maine, man went Into a meat market to buy a small piece of liver. "How much?" asked tha man. "I will make you a present of that," said the butcher. Tho man put on his most know ing look, stepped back, rubbed his hands to gether, looked the butcher square In the eye, and said: "Ain't teat rather high?" A Buffalo girl got rid of an undesirable suitor in a unique way. He proposed n th way homo from church Sunday evening; and tho fair creature, who is "o'er young to marry," said "yes," but added that she would not marry him till he gained the consent ot her father. The young man discovered the next day that the young lady's father died several years ago. and the disappointed lover has emigrated to Black Rock. While excavating a cut beyond Kincha foonee creek, near Buena Vista, Ga., the rail road hands took out a wagonload of bones, and among them was a skull with a bullet bole In the back of the bead. Along with these bones was a crude earthen pot made of some kind of material which looked like marl. The presence of the pot leaves the impression that thev were Indian bones, as it was a custom with the red man to bury some kind of a trophy with the dead. It was no doubt a graveyard made when the creek was lined with redskins. The queerest Sunday service held in Maine, or perhaps in the country, is that of the Liberal fraternity which meets every Sabbath afternoon in a hall in Portland, Me. Hero infi dels, agnostics, Spiritnalists, Buddhists and thinkers of various shades of heterodoxy come together and do battle. The service generally consists of a free discussion, in which everv man Is Invited to expatiate upon his creed: but occasionally some clergyman or speaker of rep utation is Invited to address the assembly. The strangest of notions get an airing here, and sometimes provoke a heated controversy. The curious story of the travels of 'a let ter is told by the following: On April 6. 1SS7, a letter, bearing nearly a dozen postmarks was received at Takoma, D. C. Where It had been since it was committed to the mail at South Waterford, Me., on March 1, could only partly be guessed: but a synopsis of the history of some of its travels may be given thus: March 10, arrived at Takoma, W. T., remailed for re turn eastward; March 19. received at Chicago postotllce: March 19. mailed to Takoma, D. C: April 4, again mailed at Chicago postofSce: April 5, received at Washington, I). C, and forwarded to Takoma, D. C. The man who builf the first rolling mill in the United States i3 in Atlanta, Ga. In 1S23 Major Walton built at Bunton, N. J., the first rolling mill in operation in this conntry. He was then a young man, having been born on the Isle of Man in 1S0S, and had just finished his apprenticeship in New York. In the sarao year he built at Pumpton, N. J., the first blast furnace, which is still there. In 1827 Major Walton also built at Lnckige, N. Y., the first mill for manufacturing implements and arti cles sold in hardware stores. The Major has been in the iron business ever since ha was 14, except such times as he was fighting Indians, Mexicans, and the Federal soldiers. There is a man in Oxford county, Maine, who claims great things for one of bis boys in the line of scholarship, and says he has already ciphered from "ambition to chemical features," and Is in hopes, before school closes, be will get so to "fluctuate in cancelation." Having once a large rising on his neck, which was very painful, he was persuaded by bis friends to have a doctor called in. The doctor left ingredients for a poultice to be made and applied to the neck. The patient swallowed the poultice, declaring that he bad rather it would break on the inside, so there would be no scar, and when asked by a neighbor what the doctor called the sore, be said it was a "tabernaclo." Society is flourishing in the north of Georgia. In a newspaper account of a Christ mas dance at a convict camp the following oc curs: "John Towns, an active young man from Fulton, who was hired several months ago bv a jewelry drummer in Atlanta to transport his valise, the location of which he forgot when the drummer found him with the assistance of the police, danced with Miss Emma Johnson, a coquettish young hief from Bibb county. Mr. Towns is spending five years at the camp, al though the Judge offered to give bimtwo years off the time if he would be able to tell where he carried the valise of jewelry. He couldn't remember, and so he will stay five years In stead of three." A correspondent of a Boston paper tells this dog story: "Last fall I received a letter from my son saying that he and bis wife and daughter were coming to pay us a visit; he con cluded by saying: 'Kill the fatted calf and put a bottle on ice.' I read the letter aloud to my wife, the dog (an Irish setter) sitting up beside me and looking on so wise that I called my wife's attention to bim, saying: 'Look at the judge!' After I bad finished reading, he barked to go out, and did notget homeuntil quite late. He came in the sitting room where I was read ing, and made such demonstrations that I fol lowed him to the outside door, and in the porch I found the lower part of the leg of a calf. He wagged his big tail and jumped up on me, say ing as plainly as be could: There's the calif, now yon attend to the bottler " FUNNY MEN'S FANCIES. Involuntary Honesty. Taype 'Well, 1 see Sklnem has settled all his debts at last. Tyfcer You don't tell met What possessed hhs to 00 It, I wonder? Taype Necessity. He died .Lies. An Admirer of Art. Gentleman (to lit tle boy) I say, sonny, where Is the blind man you wcre leading about yesterday? Hoy He went to the Art Gallery to look at the pictures. Texas Sitings. Tommy I say, pa, ain't it a pity wa can't eat a porcupine? Pa Why, Tommy? 'Because we could use his quills for toothplc J after we got through eating him." Texas S(rt ings. Jeweler The inscription yon wish to have engraved on the Inside of this ring, if I understand yon, is "Jlarcellus to Irene." Young 31aa (with some embarrassment) Yes. that's right. But er-don't cut the "Irene" deep. Chicago Tribune. Said a rather frivolous New York lady ,. a friend: "It maybe years and years before I find my Ideal man." "And what are you going to do la the mean time?" "Get married, I suppose." Texas Sitings. On marriage (cynical view, probably, of a person who Isn't married): How like the ague is this boon Of matrimonial strife! The fever ends In one short moon, The chill runs on through life. Helfonfs Magazine. Keady to Oblige. Stryke (meeting a friend) Just the man I wanted to sec. by George! , 1 came away without my purse this morning. Lend me a hundred that's a good fellow. Frlend-Can't do It dear boy. But here's a dime. Take a street car home and get your purse. Lies. Bobby (in some surprise, looking at tha new moon) Why, ma, I thought the moon wa round. Mother So It Is, my dear. Bobby-Like a baseball? Stother-Yes. Bobby Well, that moon musthave had the stuff ing knocked out oliUSew Xork Sun. WondersNever Cease. Proprietor patent Medicine (In a hospital) My poor friend, I bear you met with a terrible accident on tho railroad, near Smith's Crossing? Patient Yes; 1 was thrown SO feet and given up for dead. "So I heard; and when you regained conscious ness you were gazing on the big rock which con tains an advertisement of my stomach bitters." "Yes, sir." ' 'Well, you have been snatched from the Jaws of death, and I hvre called fora testimonial." Stio Xork Weekly. Modestv's Triumph. Lover I love your ,. r daughter, Mr. Boodles! Mr. It Indeedl Have you any money, young ,, . man? &is- Lover Not a cent sir. mf Mr. B.-Aba! Any prospects? ' Lover My prospects will be very bad It you re-' fuse. sir. Mr. B.-Oh, oh! Any vices? Lover All I know of, sir; If you can teach me any more I'll learn them. Mr. B. -Well, by Gad t you are frank at any rate. Take her, my son, and may you both be su premely unhappy! Lover Thanks, papa. Now, will you please la- irouuce ut: a uon'i enow ner jsuLUI.