THE PITTSBURG DISPATCH, SUNDAY, JANUARY 13, 1889.
B$pltfj,
ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8, 1S1CL
Vol. 43, Ac 311. Entered at Pittsburg Post-
office, A'ovembcr H, 18S7, as itoond-ciass matter.
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PITTSBURG, SUNDAY. JAN'. 13, 1SS9.
FEMINUTE I0GIC.
Bessie Bramble writes from South Caro
lina to declare that if the South suppressed
the negro vote the North is just as bad, be
cause it suppresses the rote of women. She
then proceeds to show that in the Southern
State where she is sojourning women are not
given the legal rights that they haTe in the
Northern States; which also makes a rather
wonderful display of that mysterious move
ment known as feminine logic.
The argument that because the law which
restricts the right of suffrage to one sex is
obeyed in one part of the land, and that
which gives it to a certain race is overridden
in another, therefore, the two sections are
equally wrong, is sufficiently unique. It is
surpassed, however, by the surprising logic
which attacks the North alone for repressing
women, and then goes on to declare that the
South represses the women more than the
North does, and somewhat more than it
does with the negroes.
This almost leads us to the conclusion that,
in onr correspondent's view, the South
atones for its injustice to women, in their
legal rights, by putting them in the same
sategory with the colored people.
ME. BBENKEN'S DENUNCIATION.
Mr. "William Brennen, Chairman of the
Democratic county organization, unpacked
his heart at the meeting of that body yes
terday, to the extent of a speech, abounding
with assertions that there were "never such
shameless, damnable and diabolical means
resorted to" as in the late election; that
Senator Quay was chosen to conduct the
campaign for the Republican! as "a man
who can out-general, out-trick and out-steal
all opposition," and finally, that the Demo
cratic party "cannot be charged with perpe
trating or tolerating such a shameless out
rage." The Dispatch lias expressed its
wish that every man who has had anything
to do with the corruption of politics should
be exposed and puuUked; but the policy of
a general cry of "stop thiei" at the other
party is not likely to amount to much.
Such assertions as Mr. Brenncn's are likely
to provoke the retort that Senator Barnum's
"innlc transactions" are as damnatory as
Dudley's "blocks of five;" while no politi
cal corruption has ever been more clearly
demonstrated than the cipher dispatch
agreement to pay a big sum of money for
an electoral vote "if done only once," there
is great need for the purification of politics;
but it is not to be accomplished by claiming
that the rascals are all in one party.
NEW LINNEE ETIQUETTE.
One of the bloods of New York recently
vindicated his claim to that title by thrash
ing a hotel waiter. The offense of the
Ganymede consisted of bringing in the card
of a caller while the high-toned real estate
broker for that we believe is the profession
of the aristocratic person was enjoying his
dinner. Such an infraction of the rites of
dining could not go unpunished, and the
offending waiter accordingly got his head
punched.
The mysteries of dinner etiquette in New
York have recently grown so complex as to
puzzle all but the members of McAllister's
Four Hundred and their most devoted
neophytes, among whom the pugnacious
real estate broker is probably classed. The
large collection of forks from which the
diner must select the appropriate tool to use
on each course, the exact brand of wine
which he must drink at each critical
junctnre, together with the occult rites of
the cards before and after such ceremonies,
have constituted the arcana oi New York
culture. To these mysteries a new rule
seems to be added. "Whether it is that if a
card is sent up during dinner, that meal
must be varied by thrashing the waiter, or
that no cards must be sent up at all, is still
an open question; but as soon as the waiters
fully comprehend this new frill on etiquette,
it will be likely to amount to the same
thing.
It is necessary to suggest that there is a
certain inequity in the working of the rules.
If anybody is to be thrashed let him be the
person who sends up the card. That would
preserve the usefulness of the waiter and
give the'diner more enlivenment for the rest
of the repast. The maintenance of the rule
by walloping the humble manipulator of
the napkin ought to simplify dinner eti
quette a good deal by subjecting the walloper
to the more easily understood but equally
unyielding rules of the workhouse dinners.
NOT PE0DUCED BY THE LAW.
It is remarked by the Philadelphia Times
that "the formation of the Inter-State Kail
way Association bears out the opinion re
cently expressed by Charles Francis Adams,
that the effect of the Inter-State Commerce
act was to promote the combination of trunk
lines at the expense of the shortlocal lines."
It would be interesting for the Times and
Mr. Adams to explain how this deduction
is possible in the face of the confession of
Mr. Adams and the practical admission of
the New York meeting that the Inter-State
Commerce law has not been obeyed. Ex
actly how an unenforced act can force the
combination of trunk lines, is rather ob
scure, though not more so than a good many
other feats of railway logic such, for in
stance, as that which induced the esteemed
Times to declare a year ago, that the law
prevented the railways from issuing com
mutation tickets, or giving lower rates in
proportion to distance, on long hauls than
short ones.
The fact is that the railway agreement
only shows the determination ot the railway
interests to escape competition. As far as
its practical results are concerned, it need
not be feared by the people. But its spirit
fe
is shown by the agreement that new lines,
no matter how legitimate or solvent, are to
be placed under the boycott of capital as
represented by Messrs. Brown Bros., Kid
der, Peabody & Co. and J. S. Morgan & Co.
The idea that all the other enterprises and
industries of the country must be held subor
dinate to the grand purpose of forcing divi
dends on inflated railway capitalization was
not produced by the inter-State commerce
law. It existed before that measure, and
was one of the causes leading to its enact
ment. It remains to be seen whether the
law or the railway combination will prove
most powerful.
CHEAP GOLD.
An enterprising Parisian who announces
himself to be the "Alchemist of the Nine
teenth Century" has made a discovery or
says that he has which entitles him to
take rank as a combination of Mege, the
inventorof oleomargarine; Mulberry Sellers,
Prof. Keeley and the electric sugar refiner.
M. Tiffereau, who is the alleged discoverer,
stated in an address the other day, that he
could manufacture gold. He is more frank
than Keeley in telling how it is done. All
that you have to do is to combine silver and
copper in the right proportions under the
action of the sunlight and nitric acid. In
this way he can convert $30 worth of mate
rial into $720 worth of pure gold, and he
hopes, with practice, to reduce the cost of
the metal to $15.
This sounds very attractive; and its natu
ral outcome would be the formation of an
International Gold Manufacturing Com
pany (unlimited), par value of shares $100,
ten cents paid in, and the rest to be made
out of the confiding public But a mo
ment's reflection will reveal the fact
that if gold can be made at that
cost, the inevitable result will be to reduce
the value of gold to exactly the same figure.
Probably the rapidity of the fall in the
prices of gold might be stayed somewhat if
M. Tiffereau and his supporters should get
up a trust and maintain rates for gold. Bnt
that might be opposed by a movement to
preserve the distinction between real gold
and the manufactured jnst article just as
we are now trying in this country to keep
separate the real product of the cow and the
other discovery of French chemical ingen
uity. These would be a few of the troubles aris
ing out of such a discovery; besides the
troubles of having every commercial staple
wcrth forty-eight times as much in gold as
it now is. That explanation would create
some very big fortunes apparently; but
after we had studied it out a while we
might find that $48,000 then, with a pur
chasing power exactly equal to $1,000 now,
wonld not be any larger sum than the pres
ent thousand. On the whole, the world will
prefer to believe that the French alchemist
has not discovered the grand arcanum.
THE KISSING ICE-CE0P.
This is a life of compensations and draw
backs. The mild winter has saved the peo
ple of other cities a large sum in their coal
bills, although the natural gas bills in Pitts
burg run along without regard to weather.
It has also coniounded the peach crop liar
up to date, although there is reason to fear
that he will turn up undiscouraged in the
early spring. But against the economy in
coal and the blessing in abundant peaches
we are confronted with the danger that the
harvest of ice will be a total failure. The
rivers and lakes, where the translucent
blocks are generally quarried out at this
season, are still open water, and the ice
houses, where the frigidity of winter is
stored up for the alleviation of the dog days,
are empty and desolate.
It is difficult to estimate the difference be
tween these gains and losses. Heat is nec
essary to sustain life in the storms of winter;
but coolness is required to make it worth
living in the dog days. "Will it be a com
pensation to have more than we can eat of
the luscious peach if our cream turns sonr,if
ice-water is unknown, ice-cream an attain
able luxury and cobblers only a tantalizing
dream?
The prospect of an uniced summer is
truly alarming. The talk of ice-palaces has
so far been a barren ideality for lack of the
raw material; but if ice should appear it
would be wasteful extravagance to build
them nntil the stock of ice was safely stored
away for next summer. The best ice-palace
in a winter like this is the humble and un
esthctic but useful icehouse that is full of
ice.
AETISTIC PUGILISM.
The artist on the warpath is a rather novel
and interesting subject; and especially when
the creator of symphonies in hitherto un
known colors, recounts his pngnacions acts in
humorous style the matter becomes doubly
sensational. It is not surprising, therefore,
that London is excited over the sudden and
unexpected appearance of Mr. Whistler,
whose eccentricities have heretofore mani
fested themselves chiefly in his personal re
marks and his productions, in the character
of a shoulder-hitter and a historian of his
own battles.
The occurrence arose out of the fact
that a brother artist expressed to Mr.
"Whistler the opinion that the latter manip
ulator of pigments was a coward and a liar.
"Upon this Mr. "Whistler sailed in. Having
accomplished what Prof. S ulli van calls "get
ting his opponent's head in chancery," hav
ing in Mr. "Whistler's own lingo, "decorated
his eyes with an arrangement in black
and blue," he kicked bis too frank
critic out of doors. It is further reported
that in what is called a humorous strain, the
irate artist wrote a letter, stating the facts
and asserting that the measures he took
would "prevent in the future such results."
If Mr. "Whistler's estimate of his fighting
powers are correct, it would certainly ap
pear that his course seems calculated to dis
courage insults.
The "humor" of the letter seems to be a
good deal like that of Punch, and is there
fore calculated to penetrate the British
brain. But we question if the thumped and
kicked artist will perceive the humor. Be
yond that, Mr. Whistler's method of dis
couraging insults is almost as uncertain as
his compositions in color. Suppose that the
other fellow had proved to be the more vig
orous thumper and kicker, would not the
discouragement have rested with Mr. Whist
ler? We can hardly approve of the pugilis
tic method of settling artistic differences of
opinion. If Mr. Whistler wished to avenge
himself on his antagonist he could have ad
ministered a peculiar and unique punish
ment by sending one of his own paintings
to the reviler.
The phenomenon of rainfall in connec
tion with the condition of the atmosphere
caused bv explosions, is referred to by the
New York 2r6une as illustrated by the
rain which fell in flint city after the ex
plosion of the gas tanks on Wednesday
evening. Rainfall may have been produced
by explosions in some cases; but in this par
ticular instance what will the esteemed
Tribune do with the fact that the rain storm
was brought across the country on the wings
of the hurricane, having leached Pittsburg
at noon of that "(lav? Did the concussion uf
the Brooklyn cas meters have such an effect
as to produce rain in Western Pennsylvania
six or seven hours before the explosion?
The Electric Trust, with only $12,000,000
of capital, does not seem to amount to much
beside some of the other combinations. Bnt
the promise that it will be watered up to
$24,000,000 at the earliest opportunity testi
fies that it is true to the regular principles
of the trusts.
A rather curious moral is drawn from
the Beading disaster by the bright New
York Evening Sun, which remarks:
"Awful as was the disaster at Beading in
the fall of the silk mill it might have been
made more frightful had the building been
heated otherwise than by steam. The horrors
of fire in the ruins were not seen." This
appears to enforce the lesson that if people
put up buildings that are liable to fall
down in a gale of wind they must furnish
them with steam-heating apparatus. With
that rule adopted, the steam) heaters might
furnish a good sign of warning to people to
keep out of the buildings.
The two reports about the Blaine family
yesterday were that the elder J. G. Blaine
will be the Cabinet and that the younger
J. G. Blaine has gone to work. The first is
rather threadbare; but the second affords
compensation by its startling and novel
character.
A SPEAKEHin the New York Dairymen's
Association the other day advocated the
establishment of schools in dairying, for the
benefit of young farmers. Young farmers,
as a rule, have a pretty thorough school for
dairying on the paternal farm; but the pro
posed institutions would be of great benefit
to young artists who are desirous of repre
senting dairy scenes. The artistic world is
suffering for lack of technical knowledge as
to which side of the cow the milker must
be pnt.
Wiggiss' great storm for the 15th of
January was ahead of time, but Wiggins
will claim it just the same. It would be a
tough January for tbe weather prophets that
did not tarn up a storm for them within a
week or two of the scheduled dates.
Me. Ignatius Donnelly, in replying
to his critics, makes the following rather
questionable statistical assertion: "Nine
tenths of the graves of the world are filled
with unadulterated fools." This may or
may not be true; but it is a rather singular
source of solace for Mr. Donnelly to resort
to for the ill-success of his cipher, in the
reflection that so many of the fools died
before he could reach them.
The Eiffel tower, at Paris, has got to the
height of seven hundred feet. This will be
an exceedingly lofty altitude to fall from, if
the reports of its insecure standing have any
foundation.
Me. James O'Connor, the crushed
tragedian of the East, bas introduced a new
stage device. The shower oi missiles when
he was playing at Philadelphia the other
night was so severe, that he bad a wire
gauze curtain drawn across the front part of
the stage, behind which he continued the
play in shelter from cabbages and cats.
Thus Mr. O'Connor selves the problem of
protection for the actor.
The House deadlock being over, business
will go on until some other member has a
pet measure which he insists on caring for,
by stopping everything else uc'il he has his
way.
The discovery that there have been big
frauds on the revenues in the New York
Custom House is rather hard on the Demo
cratic administration. But the existence of
similar things under Republican supremacy
makes it unfair to turn it into a matter of
pure partisanship. It simply proves that
rascality is not a matter of party lines.
The proposition to extend Allegheny City
to take in Sewickley may be to the idea that
Pittsburg might also be extended so as to'
take in Allegheny.
Philadelphia is all torn up by the
order of the garbage authorities that all
garbage must be set out on the front door
steps for the convenience oi the garbage
gatherers. But Philadelphia will console
herself when she perceives that this will
give a pretext for scrubbing off the steps an
extra time each morning.
The highway robbers who have resumed
operations in East Liberty do not appear to
have the fear of the law or police before
their eyes.
Colonel Elliott F. Shepaed made a
rather bad break at the Boston banquet the
other day by alluding to the hands of
Boston that stretch all over the continent;
but he is excusable. There has been a
great deal said on that occasion about trusts,
and Colonel Shcpard naturally had their
habits in mind.
PERSONAL FACTS AND FANCIES.
Mrs. Stowe is steadily gaining health and
strength.
Me. Gladstone receives no letters from
England during his Italian visit.
The rported robbery of Raphael's Entomb
ment r.om S. Pietro, in Perugia, so circum
stantially set forth, turns out to be a stupid
hoax. No such picture ever existed in Perugia.
Charles II. J. Taylor, ex-Minister to
Liberia, has established himself at Atlanta,
Ga., as a lawyer. He appeared in court yester
day f oi the first time, and won his case through
his brilliant cross examination. He is the first
negro lawyer to appear at the bar of Georgia.
Tbe jury was white.
James Brown Potter witnessed his wife's
debut as Cleopatra on Tuesday night in New
York, ana heard the comments passed upon
the performance in the lobby. Few or the
first-nighters knew that the stout, handsome
young man who strolled around and listened
attentively to aU that was said pro and con was
the husband of tbe "star."
The tablet unveiled in the Connecticut
State House this week in memory of John
Fitch bears this inscription: "This tablet,
erected by tbe State of Connecticut, com
memorates the genius, patience and persever
ance of John Fitch, a native of the town of
Windsor, the first to apply steam successfully
to the propulsion of vessels through water."
It also bears the dates 1787-lSSS.
Canon Haweis still retains his stall in
Chichester Cathedral and occasionally preaches
with great vigor, though he is 84 years old. He
is a son of the Dr. Haweis who was chaplain to
the famous Countess of Huntingdon, and is
the father of the Rev. H. R. Haweis, the
funny little man who visited this country re
cently ana is preacher, lecturer, musical ana
art critic, author and newspaper man all
in one.
Chicago's Rival.
From the New York World.!
According to a recently published consular
report, Port Said outstrips even Chicago in the
matter of divorces. That the great Suez Canal
is not altogether conducive to conjugal felicity
is shown by tbe fact that there are no less than
27 divorces to every marriage.
Stocking Its Chamber of Horrors.
.From the Washington Star.
The new year has made extraordinary head
way in stocking its chamber of horrors.
THE TOPICAL TALKEE.
WhyMr.Laflenbnch Will Not Pat Much In
the-Collection Plato This Year.
"Hand me tbe Bible, Susan," said the pro
prietor of tbe Railway Hotel In our town
Saturday night a week ago to his wife. They
were sitting in their small parlor between the
bar and the kitchen; and when Mr. Laffenbach
called for the sacred book his wife quietly
arose and going to tbe sideboard on which a
silver teapot lorded it over some plated tank
ards, a pitcher and a waiting salver, drew out
from a drawer a largo volume which notwith
standing that its black leather covers were
worn with use. was undoubtedly a Bible. If
anyone had doubted the title of the book, be
might hare read on its first page in florid and
not very easily deciphered capitals the abso
lute proofs.
It would be very pleasant to picture the stout
and jolly botelkeeper coming up from the
cellar, where he had been tapping a new barrel
of beer for the evening trade, to set down in
his parlor to read a chapter of the Good Book.
But the picture would lack the essential ele
ment of truth.
Mr. Laffenbach took the bigvolume from his
wile's hands and, resting it on his knee, pro
ceeded to extract from between its gold
edged pages sheets of memoranda, biUs and re
ceipts. When he had taken out perhaps a score
of these documents, he closed the Bible with an
Irreverent slam and then put it away in tbe
drawer of the sideboard. With a small piece
of lead pencil and a sheet of white paper Mr.
Laffenbach proceeded to compose the weekly
balance sheet.
Nobody but Mr. Laffenbach nnderstood the
use or convenience of this balance sheet, but
every Saturday night it was made. Mrs. Laf
fenbach would have been seriously alarmed
bad her husband allowed a Saturday evening
to pass without taking out tbe big Bible and
figuring up the results of tho week's trade. It
is rather unfortunate that Mr. Laffenbach is
not a good arithmetician. He confesses that
to this very daythat the multiplication table is
not on good terms with bim, which is not hard
to understand, when the bill he rndered to
Chief the other day contained this queerly cal
culated item:
To 3 dozen Beer SI 00 S3 50.
When Chief asked Mr. Laffenbach how three
times one could make three and a half, tbe
latter replied that be supposed ho had been
under the impression, in making out the bUl,
that it was for Abel Swartzman.
It is a curious fact that this Abel Swartzman
is suffering from partial paralysis, which has
caused bis mental faculties to fail.
In the customary course of events it was
usual for Mr.Lallenbach to spend half an hour
arranging tbe balance sheet and then about
two or three hours, usually till the hotel closed
at 10 o'clock in fact, finding out what its gen
eral meaning might be. As a rule tbe sheet
showed that Mr. Laffenbach was on the verge
of bankruptcy this was sura to be the story
the figures told when the week's business bad
been unusually profitable.
Last Saturday night, however, after Mr.
Laffenbach bad covered no less than three half
sheets of note paper and the blank margin of
au tne nrst page oi tne -fuonc jjejenaervmn
marvelous and mazy columns oi ngures, ne
came to the extraordinary conclusion that he
was actually what sporting men would term "a
winner on tbe week."
For a wonder the statement Mr. Laffenbach
bad arranged was fairly clear and comprehen
sible even to himself. So be did not, as gener
ally he did, call in half a dozen neighbors to
extricate him from tho web of his applied math
ematics. Instead, he put tbe balance sheet into tho big
Bible and asked bis wife, who had retired for
the night, to throw down his bank book over
the banisters. This she did, and Mr. Laffen
bach, with two of his oldest friends, namely.
Chief and Mr. Goodblood, drew up their chairs
about the parlor fire. The bar was closed and
tbe hotel only open to Buch passengers as might
break the record and leave the express from
the East to stay over in our town on a Saturday
night.
.,
Mr. Laffenbach would have been very
much offended if Chief had not asked as Boon
as the first glass of steaming whisky punch had
disappeared: "Well, landlord, how's business
been this week?"
The question was a time-honored part of the
Saturday evening ceremonies. It was some
thing like tbe "Fine weather, your honor I"
that District Attorney Porter throws to the
Judge on a second morning of a murder trial.
Mr. Laffenbach chuckled softly and slapped
bis bank book. Then he opened tho book and
wrote In pencil the total of cash that had been
taken during the week, as stated in the halanco
sheet. There was silence for a moment as Mr.
Laffenbach's pencil slowly traveled up the page
of the bank book, then down again, then up
and down thrico more. Mr. Laffenbach
chuckled again when ho had completed tho
operation.
"Mine friends," said he, "fill up your glasses
and drink mlt me der pissness is grader dan
cferl"
They did drink with Mr. Laffenbach, in fact
they kept on drinking with him till Mrs. Laf
fenbach asked In a rather chUly way from the
top of the stairs if she was to bo allowed to
sleep at all on the Sabbath morning.
The next morning Mr. Laffenbach went to
church as is bis wont. Before he went he took
out bis balance sheet, all the memoranda in
the Bible's custody, and the bank book, and
spent half an hour figuring out bis financial
condition.
He was pleased at what he found; but even
more astonished than pleased. It was no won
der that be marveled, for repeated footings up
of his bank account had resulted in the dis
covery that he was nearly $2,000 richer than he
had thought himself to be.
In tho collection plate which Deacon Good
blood deposited in the hands of his pastor
and Mr. Laffenbach that morning was found
a $100 bill. Such a contribution had never been
seen in our church before. The pastor made
inquiries, and finding that Mr. Laffenbach was
tho generous donor, thanked him by name
at the evening service.
Consequently Mr. Laffenbach was a proud
man last Sunday night.
.
Bet he wasn't so proud when he returned
from tbe bank on Monday morning.
The cashier, yon see, called Mr. Laffenbach's
attention to the fact that he had overdrawn bis
account 10. Then Mr. Laffenbach produced
his bank book and laughingly asked the cashier
to correct his books from that Iho cashier
took the bank book, checked off tbe amounts
and returned it to Mr. Laffenbach with the re
mark that there was no mistake, about the over
draft Mr. Laffenbach footed up the column and
gave the cashier the total as he found it Tbe
cashier scribbled for a minuto on a pad, and
said: "You are just S1.8S9 out of the way: let
me look at the book!"
The cashier laughed as he observed that Mr.
Laffenbach had for his own convenience
written tho figures 18S9 at the head of his ac
count for January,.and then included them in
tho total of the credit side of bis book.
Mr. Laffenbach didn't Hugh. His contribu
tions to the support of tho church are likely to
be very, very small for tho rest of 1S89.
Hepburn Johns.
A SHOWER OF DIAMONDS.
Jewels of Talno Thrown by a Chamber
maid Into the Gntlcr.
Special Telegram to the Dispatch.
New York. January 12. The, diamond car
rings which were found in the pocket of an
Italian beggar yesterday have been claimed by
Mrs. George Frank, a resident of Murray
Hill. She says she left them on her piano yes
terday morning.
The chambermaid shook the piano cover and
earrings out of tho window. The Italian says
that he found the diamonds in tho gutter be
fore Mrs. Frank's bouse.
DEATHS OF A DAY.
Colonel John M. Johnston.
Special Telegram to the Dispatch.
Carlisle, Pa., January 12. Colonel John M.
Johnston died after a long Illness at 9 o'clock this
morning at tbe Indian Training bcbpoL this city.
The deceased was aired 64 years. He was promi
nent in U. A. K. circles, and from 1863 until three
months ago was city editor of the Lancaster In
telligencer. Ills remains will be taken to Lancas
ter on Tuesday morning for Interment ,
Andrew Pnxton.
Chicago, January 12. Andrew Paxton, the
widely known general Agent or the Chicago Citi
zens1 League, died of peritonitis to-day at his
residence in this cltv. He was 63 years old. Mr.
Paxtnn'a chief distinction lay In his successful
efforts In Chicago and other cities to secure the
enforcement of the laws against the sale of In
toxicating liquor to minors.
A CUfilOUS CHALLENGE
Addressed to the Colored Men North of tbe
Beautiful Ohio Klter.
Washington. D. C, January 11. The Hon.
Tbeophile T. Allaln, for 2U years a member of
the Louisiana Legislature, where bis eloquence
won him the sobriquet "the colored Demos
thenes," one of the most prominent and influ
ential colored Republicans in tho South, has
recently published in tho New Orleans Times
Democrat tho following curious challenge, ad
dressed 'to any colored man north of the Ohio
river:"
"I would say that in the parish of Iberville.
La., within the last live years I have competed
against abont 50 white levee contractors before
the Stato Board of Engineers, under Governors
McEnery and Nicholls (being under bond with
the State of Louisiana for the amount and will
have constructed when mv nresent levees in
Iberville will have been completed) for about
833,000 worth of levee work with white superin
tendents and colored superintendents, white
laborers and colored laborers working side by
side for the same wages, Now, to tbe point:
If any colored man north of the Ohio river will
send me to Soulouque, La., a certified certifi
cate from the Secretary of State of any of the
States north of the Ohio, showing that said
colored man did in person compete before a
board of State public work; and that he is him
self in charge of a State work for over $2,000,
and is under bond and that he has under him
white superintendents and colored superintend
ents, white laborers and colored laborers, all
working for the same amount of wages accord
ing to their positions on his work I will ship to
his address, freight paid, a Jersey heifer, which
is registered in the American Jersey Cattle
Club book, of New York, worth $250. This
wager will be kept open for 90 days. White
and colored newspapers in tbe United States
will please copy. I speak not as a Democrat,
but as a Grant, Blaine and Harrison Republi
can of the South."
THE LYCOMING CONTEST.
The Judgeship tllnddlo to be Straightened
Out by Court, Bnt nt Grent Expense.
Bpecl&l Telegram to the Dispatch.
Wiixiamspoht, Pa., January 12. The con
test over the office of President Judge is daUy
becoming moro exciting, and tho interest of the
people is on the ascendency. The court, con
sisting of Judges Mayer, Rock. eUer and Bucher
was in session to-day, and James L. Meredith
and Frank P. Cummings were appointed ex
aminers to proceed witb the taking of testi
mony. The examiners were directed by order
of the court to proceed with all possible dis
patch and collect all the ballot boxes from
every voting district in the county, the boxes
to be placed for safekeeping in bank vaults or
other fire and burglar proof depositories. As
there are 50 districts in the county, and the
boxes from two to three feet in length, by a
foot wide, with six or eight inches high, It will
require a very large vault to bold them.
The supplemental answer of Judge Metzgar
to tbe amended petition was filed. It is a de
nial of all the allegations contained therein and
in addition preseuts 23 additional specifications
of frandulant votes cast In various districts,
ranging in number from 20 down. It contains
amendments to sections of tbe original answer
in which tbe number of fraudulent votes speci
fied are increased. Counsel for Metzgar moved
the court to orderthe petitioners to file a bill of
particulars containing the names and residents
of all alleged illegal voters claiming that they
could not properly prepare their defense with
out this information. This motion was not
allowed by the court The examiners were
allowed CO days to take testimony, 30 days being
allowed to each side.
HER LUCKI HORSESHOE.
One Ohio Woman Who Has Implicit Faith
in the Iron Mascot.
From tbe Albany Times.
A certain popular Congressman is now, for
tbe second term, representing a Republican
district in Ohio, though he is a Democrat He
was first elected through personal popularity
and divisions among the Republicans. The
idea of a re-election was considered preposter
ous, and his wife tried to dissuade him from
running again, and he used every endeavor to
avoid a renomination.
His wife was at a summer resort when she
received a telegram announcing his renomina
tion and acceptance. While she and some
friends were walking In tho hotel grounds they
discovered a horseshoe. A Washington gen
tleman picked it up and handed it to the lady,
saying: "You are feeling badly about your
husband's being obliged to spend time and
money in a hopeless contest Now, tills horse
shoe may change your luck. Here's the shoe
that Is for his election: and here are three
nails these are for three majority." Tbere
was a laugh over the absurdity of the idea;
the shoe was hung up and tho Incident forgot
ten bv the lady until It was recalled by a tele
gram from her husband tho next day after tho
election, announcing bis election by three.
The official count gave tbe Congressman only
two majority, which was doubtless owing to
tho fact that while the wonderful horseshoe
was being banded around for inspection one of
tho nails fell out
HAS NO SUPERIORS.
How Tho Dispatch Is Appreciated in the
Prosperous Beaver "Valley.
From the Aew Brighton News.
Among all the newspapers that we are privi
leged to see and read, tbero is not ono that we
appreciate more highly than THE Pittsburg
Dispatch. In every sense of the term it is a
great newspaper, and has no superiors in its
own city, and few. If any, in the country. All
the news of the day appear in its richly laden
columns, and always so bright and crisp, as to
attract the attention and hold the Interest of
the people. Nothing in the way of news is per
mitted to escape,and its readers can always de
pend on the very best in ali departments of hu
man interest The paper has made most won
derful strides, and is advancing at a rate so
rapid as almost to make one dizzy. In the
realm of literature, choice correspondence and
tho product ot the best minds of the country,
the reader naturally turns toTnESUNDAT
Dispatch, and is never disappointed.
MAI HATE ICE YET.
Idaho's Weather Prophet Says the Severest
Winter Weather Is to Come.
OGDEN. January 12. Old Man Wiggs, a well
known weather prophet of Northern Idaho, an
nounces that tho -n inter yet to come will be
the severest ever known. He bases his predic
tion on the assertion that the moon is away out
of its place In the heavens, being several de
grees further north than usual, which, in his
opinion, is an unfailing sign of cold weather.
"I never knew It to fail," he said tbe other
day, in discussing the matter. "If the moon
had only gone a little out of its way I wouldn't
say a word, but here it is at least 5,000 miles
further north than it has any business to be.
Throe times now since I have lived here this
thing has happened, and there has always been
killing weather. One time it was so cold that
the earth cracked and men were frozen stiff
standing up. I never saw the moon so far
north before though, and I tell you to look out
for what's a-comlng."
0UTSW0RE THE OLD MAN.
A Poor Fellow Whoso Wife Keeps
nim
Baying Nlghtkcys.
Special Telegram to the Dispatch.
New York, January 12. Mrs. John Quinn
showed a Police Justice to day the strap and
broom handle with which Mr. Qulnn beat her.
Mr. Qulnn retaliated bytelllng how Mrs. Qulnn
made him sleep on the doorstep. He has
boncht three nigbtkeys since election day. Mrs.
Qulnn tooK them from his pockets while he
Slept so that be could not get Into the house
when she wished him to stav out
By dint of hard swearing Mrs. Quinn and her
daughters induced the Police Justice to send
Mr. Quinn to the Island for three months.
NO MONEY FOR LOBBYISTS.
Tbe Actors' Fund Must Not Be Used to
Securo Legislation.
Special Telegram to the Dispatch.
New York, January 12. The Superior Court
told the officers of the Actors' Order of Friend
ship, to-day, that they must not spend tbe
order's- funds to secure federal legislation
against foreign actors. The officers wished to
use the order's money in sending a committee
of lobbyists to Washington.
The order of the court requires the officers to
show cause on January 17 why the injunction
should not be made permanent
Restless In Gowns.
From the New York Telegram.
The members of the Supreme Court of Penn
sylvania have been pnt in silk gowns, and the
average bucolic- legislator is dissatisfied with
this "Mother Hubbard" aid to the majesty of
tbe court He sees in it the beginning of in
novations that will not cease until the State
Senators are clothed in togas and the Governor
assumes the purple. Only eternal vigilance
will preserve the trousers and coat of the
American citizen in high places.
POLITICAL COERUPTION.
An English Editor Comments Upon Ameri
can Election Methods.
From the London Spectator.
Men will often abuse their own side when
very eager to convict their opponents of wrong
doing. Again, too, onr readers must not, even
if the charges of corruption are not disproved,
jump at once to tho conclusion that therefore
American politics are hopelessly corrupt, or
draw flattering comparisons between England
and the United States. In the first place,
Americans aro always proving that they are
true-born Englishmen by their eagerness to
wash their political dirty linen in public Just
as in England so in America; it tbere is a pub
lic scandal it is sure to bo written up and talked
up entirely out of its true proportions. Neither
branch of the English race tries to hide its
blunders from the view of the world as do
Frenchmen and Germans; but both insist not
only upon the fullest publicity and the fullest
criticism, but on a certain element of sensa
tionalism Jeing introdnced into the discussion,
which must always be allowed for by outside
observers.
It would seem that beyond the question of
actual corruption, the recent voting has caused
great dissatisfaction in regard to the working
of tbe ballot Considerable attention is now
being paid to tbe matter in several of tbe States,
especially in New York and Indiana tbe two
States in which the recent contest centered
and in Connecticut, where it is said that im
mediate steps are to be taken in the direction
of reform. In many of the Western States,
also, the public mind is being turned to the
consideration of this subject The English
system of voting appears on tfle whole to find
most favor with those who desire pure elec
tions. We trust however, that the use of En
glish experience will not stop at the ballot but
that the American State Legislatures will con
sider whether those provisions of the corrupt
and Ulegal practices act which limit the money
to be expended at each election, might not
be usefully adopted. In England, though
corruption may still exist to a certain limited
extent, the Act has worked remarkably well,
and might be easily made use of In America.
By limiting the amount to be spent in tbe case
of each voter in the Electoral College, even a
Presidental election could be bronght witbin
its scope. The details of such a matter, how
ever, can only be decided wisely by local expe
rience. On one point only do we feel certain.
If tbe American people once realize that their
system of election has become corrupt, that
system will be changed. The Americans bear
a great deal in tho way of abuses, and allow
Elenty of talk abont corruption eating out tbe
cart of the nation. Let them, however, once
realize that things have gone too far. and we
need not have tbe slightest fear that they win
rescue popular representative institutions from
tbe slough into which they have momentarily
sunk.
TIT FOE TAT.
How Judge Sharswood Gave Jndge Agnew
Some of His Own Medicine.
From;tbe Philadelphia Press.,
Tbe dinner to Judge Mitchell on Thursday
night which was made as private as possible,
brought out a great many reminiscences and
stories of the Supreme Court in other days.
One was told by an attorney who has had many
years practice before the court When Judge
Agnew was Chief Justice tbe rnle limiting
time for argument was very strictly enforced.
The sturdy old Judge had little patience with
the long-winded lawyers. He watched the
clock vigilantly, and cut them off on the sec
ond. He was sometimes a little severe with
younger members of the bar, and it is told that
on one occasion when a young attorney .was
sailing along in the midst of a lot of eloquence
the Chief Justice said: "Yonng man, the Court
will be able to wrestle with the question with
out further discussion."
After Judge Agnew had retired from tbe
bench, which he did just ten years ago, he came
before the court in a case in which he bad been
retained. Sharswood was then Chief Justice.
Judge Agnew took the floor to make his argu
ment, and had just got fairly started with what
he had to say when the hammer of the Chief
Justice came down on the desk with a sharp
rap.
"Your time is up. Mr. Agnew," said Judge
Sharswood, and the next case on the calendar
was called without more ado. It took Judge
Agnew's breath away, but he was compelled to
yield just as bo bad often compeUed others
to do.
LIKE COOING LOVERS.
Where Mr. nnd Mrs. Cleveland Take Their
Afternoon Walks.
From the Atlanta Constitution.!
Of late fewpromenaders on Sixteenth street
have observed on many afternoons the Presi
dent and Mrs. Cleveland taking an afternoon
stroll. They generally walk out to the bound
ary. The President, while possessed of very
many rare qualities, is evidently not possessed
of tho rarest of them all that of casting aside
the cares of official business while in the com
pany of his wife, for he seldom chats with her.
He seems to have his mind on other things
than tbe enjoyment of a stroll, and as he walks
appears to have his eye on something in the
far distance.
Mrs. Cleveland, on the other hand, seems to
enjoy the walks as much as a school girl on
Saturday evening, after having been confined
in a seminary the entire week. She observes
everything, and often speaks to someone she
chances to recognize. They, however, meet
few persons, for Sixteenth street is not a popu
lar thoroughfare. In fact, its unpopularity
accounts for the selection. They have been
walking in this street of late simply because
they could take a quiet stroll in that section
of the city without being subject to the gazo
of tbe critical. The President is invariably
attired in tho regulation black Prince Albert,
with a silk hat, while Mrs. Cleveland generally
wears a red Directoire elaborately braided In
black silk passementerie, with hat and gloves
to match.
HE OUGHT TO BE INSULATED.
So Susceptible to Electricity That He'Cnnno t
Ride on a Motor Car.
Special Telegram to the Dispatch.
Boston, January 12. A new feature of the
electric car system was brought into startling
prominence this morning. Police Lieutenant
Brlggs boarded a car, and the moment he
stepped upon the platform he received an
electric shock which made him helpless. He
was completely paralyzed, and the other occu
pants of the car lifted bim to the ground with
the Intention of carrying him into a neighbor
ing house. Then another singular phenomenon
wa3 noticed. The moment Lieutenant Bnggs
tonched the ground, the electric current passed
lrora nis ooay. ana ne recovered tne use oi ail
his faculties. He was weak, but otherwise be
was uninjured.
Tbe Lieutenant is said to be snsceptible to
electric shocks, having once been in a bouse
when it was struck by lightning, from tbe
effects of which be suffered a severe shock.
A YOKE THAT IS GALLING.
Mr. and Kirs. Magee Tire of Their Old Lovo
and Want New Ones.
Special Telegram to the Dispatch.
New York, January 12. Mr. and Mrs. Will
iam Magee are very anxious to get away from
each other. They were married six years
ago. Tbeywero happy together till last fall.
Then, according to Mrs. Magee, Mr. Magee be
gan to love Miss Bradley. Mr. Magee says,
however, that Mrs. Mageo fell In love with
Charles christian, months before that.
Mrs. Magee wishes a limited divorce with ali
mony. Mr. Magee asks tho courts for an ab
solute divorce without alimony.
The Professional Beauties of Congress.
From the Chicago News.
The friends of Senator-elect Wolcott, of Col
orado, declare that he will be tho handsomest
man in the next Congress. This Is Interesting
news for Senator Hiscock, who Is now the
55,000 beauty ot that aggregation of inteUect
It is not reasonable to suppose that the New
York Senator is prepared to surrender his rep
utation for superior pulchritude at the first
onset of tbe Adonis from the neighborhood of
Pike's Peak. It may be that these two gentle
men wUl consent to appear on equal terms,
neither claiming superiority over tbe other. It
Is to be hoped, at least, that some such friendly
settlement can be arranged and that no apple
of discord will vex the Senate with jealons
strife. Even if that branch of Congress is
turned into a beauty show it may yet retain its
wonted dignity and serenity.
Man Lives and Learns.
From the Fort Valley Enterprise.!
Many a husband is lost in wonder as he re
flects that the glowing band which spanks his
children and serves up his cabbage Is the very
samo one to which be used to write sonnets,
and which he never kissed without a sense of
reverence amounting to rapture.
He's Done One, Now for? the Other.'
From the St. Paul Pioneer Press.b
Having divested the playot all traditional
coloring, and literally taken Shakespeare out
of "Macbeth," Henry Irving should come over
to this country and take boodle out of politics.
THEIR SMOKES AND DRINKS.
Statesmen'! Preferences in the Matter of
Cigars and Beverages. ''
From the Washington Post."
Said an Indiana Republican yesterday: "You
may be sure that there will be no temperance
foolishness in tbe White House under Mr.
and Mrs. Harrison, and no revolutions at
tempted. They are both practical temperance
people, and by their example and teaching
have done much good in that way, hut they
will not attempt to regulate the social customs
of the people through pure force of their official
and social positions."
General Harrison is probably much such a
temperance man as Senator Sherman is. The
latter can drink a glass of beer and enjoy it;
well, in fact, he is fond of a cool glass oi iager.
Yet he rarely drinks .It, or anything else of
an intoxicating nature. He always has upon
his table at dinner, both in Mansfield and here,
a bottle of native American wine, generally of
light Kelly Island claret, which he and bis
family drink mixed in equal parts with apol
linaris water, which makes avery palatable and
refreshing beverage.
Mr. Sherman Is as conservative in his smoking
as In his drinking. He smokes a good many
cigars, but they are small, free smoking, and
the mildest that can be obtained.
General Mahnne teUs with great glee of the
struggle Mr. Sherman had with one of his big,
strong Perlectos when the Ohio statesman was
a guest at the house of the Virginian in Peters
burg. Sherman surrendered after half a dozen
Suffs, and went to tbe door for air. General
ahone went on smoking one after another of
the big cigars, ending by chewing the stumps
of each. Sherman would never be ranked as a
nervous man, while Mahone is a little bundle
of nerves.
Sherman had a still worse experience, as he
tearfully relates, at the palace ot the Captain
uenerai oi uuDa in Havana. Alter tne nanquet
a cigar was served which was six inches long,
black as your hat, and strong enough to para
lyze a mule. Of course, Mr. Sherman had in
courtesy to smoke one, and it made bim flighty
an tne rest oi tee day.
While President Cleveland has oeen liberal
in the matter of wines. It is well known that
wines are not to his taste. Ho is no connois
seur of wines, and would hardly be able to teU
Rudesheimer from Corden Rouge. He likes
beer as a regular beverage, and in the old days
drank little else. AVben It came to anything
else be practiced In tbe Edmunds, Tburman,
Blackburn. Beck, Voorhees, and so on school,
to whom tne sweet, effervescent French con
coctions are as naught to the calm and de
termined Kentucky liquid, that proceeds to
business without the gaseous ernditlons of the
frivolous beverages of the effete Frank.
EEMARKABLE TVEATHER.
Violets and Crocuses In New England La
mentation From Maine.
Boston, January 12.-Judge William L. Fos
ter, of Concord, N. H., says: "Tbe remarkable
feature of the weather for the year 1883 con
sists In the great excess of the rainfall and the
total precipitation (rain and melted snow) over
that of previous years. The rainfall was 42.48,
which is 10.27 inches more than the average of
the preceding 32 years, and ha3 only been ex
ceeded once within that period, namely, in
1S63, when the rainfall was 46.21 inches. An
other remarkable feature is that there bas
been no sleighing this winter, and the
year closes with tbe ground entirely bare.
There were only two days on which thunder
and lightning were observed here once in
August and once in September." In different
parts of Massachusetts and Connecticnt violets
are in blossom, columbines, crocuses and other
plants are starting up, and tbe buds on cherry,
pear and other trees are in a remarkably for
ward and dangerous condition. Grass In many
places is as green as in August.
"Tho Konnebeo river Is open for navigation
from Augusta to tho sea. Tbe ice all went out
last night Tbe condition of the riveris unpre
cedented. The Ice operators are the greatest
sufferers; not a ponnd of ice having been har
vested up to this time; ordinarily their honses
are half filled. Reports from the lumber
regions are that tbe lumbermen are In a sorry
condition. Tbe snow Is all gone, the swamps
are full of water and the streams are even
opening so that operations are seriously inter
fered with."
P0WDERLT ON RINGS.
H6 Wants tho Knights of Labor to Stick
and Become a Part of tho Ring.
From the Philadelphia Record.
General Master Workman Powderly attend
ed an entertainment of the street car employes
on Thursday night at St Edward's Hall. The
proceeds of the concert are to be used for
prosecuting tbe railroads for working their
men over 12 hours per day. Mr. Powderly in
dorsed the demand of the men and said he
hoped to see fewer vacant seats In the assem
blies. He urged each man to constitute him
self a committee of one to induce delinquents
to renew their activity.
"No heed should be paid," said he, "to re
ports of dishonesty, "rings,' etc When men
feave the order the 'ring' becomes narrower.
Stick yourself and make the 'ring' broader and
be a member of it. There is room for all the
new societies, bnt the ones we hear of at pres
entare formed by people who want offices men
who have been disappointed in their ambition.
When this ambition shall wear off tbe societies
will go out with it Tbe more labor scatters
the less powerful labor becomes, and. there
fore, it is better to be in a big organization with
principle at its foundation. If the existing of
ficers don't suit they can easUy be gotten
rid of."
JAT GOULD AN OLD MAN.
The Wall Street Wizard Aging Fast Since
His Wife's Illness.
Special Telegram to the Dispatch.
New York, January 12. Jay Gould's ap
pearance has changed remarkably since Mrs.
Gould fell HI some months ago. His once black
beard has become almost white; his features
are wrinkled; his shoulders are rounded, and
he walks witb a stoop, like some decrepit old
man who has left a sick bed for the first time
in months.
After the long conference at the house of
Picrpont Morgan last Thursday, his son George
affectionately linked his arm in that of his
father, and with slow, measured pace, literally
supported him along Madison avenue, toward
tbe family mansion on Fifth avenue.
LOOKING FOR THEIR HUSBAND.
Two Very Yonng Girls In Search of Their
Runaway Mutual Spoase.
Special Telegram to the Dispatch.
New York, January 12. Two very yonng
women are trying to find their husband. Con
stant C. White. Two years ago Mr. White in
duced Miss Amelia McDonough, 14 years old,
to run away to marry him. He lived with her
happily enough till six months ago. He then
deserted her, after a quarrel.
Two days ago she learned that ho bad mar
ried Miss Daisy Ficst, 15 years idd. She went
to his house in Harlem to see about it When
he saw her ho ran away. He cannot be found.
It Might Proro Beneficial.
From the Providence Journal.!
Tbere Is some discussion as to who was tho
originator of the phrase, "Public office is a
public trust" A little more rivalry as to who
shonld carry it most thoroughly Into effect
might be beneficial.
Traveling Ont West.
From tho St Paul Pioneer Press.
Passenger at Union Depot Please give me a
ticket to Philadelphia.
Station Agent Yes: with or without Indian
apolis stop-over coupon?
General Lew Wallace' Profits.
From the Boston Herald.
The story goes that General Lew Wallace has
cleared SCO.OOO on "Ben Hur" so far, bnt the
chances are that ho wonld take about 25 per
cent off for cash.
Depew's Well Heel.
From the Chicago Inter-Ocean.
Depew's heel is well healed, and the same
may be said in a double sense of the great post
gastronomic talker himself.
BUSINESS.
PAT as you go.
Never fool in business matters.
Do not kick every one In your path.
Learn to think and act for yourself.
Keep ahead rather than behind the times.
Use your own brains rather than those of
others.
A max of honor respects his word as be does
his bond.
Do not meddle with business you know noth
ing about
Hate order, system, regularity, and also
promptness.
Help others when you can, but never give
what you cannot afford because it is fashion
able. Learn to say no. No necessity of snapping
it out dog fashion, but say it firmly and re
spectfully. Ir yon hare a place of business, be found
there when wanted. No mad can get rich by
sitting around stores and saloons.
CUEIOOS CONDEKSATIQiNS.
There are 136,000 drink sellers in Bel.
gium, or one for every ten families.
Knang-Hsu, the young Emperor of the)
Flowery Kingdom, has 30 cooks and as many
doctors In his household.
A musical manuscript of Mozart was
soIdafewweek3aKO in Benin for 553 marks,
and a letter from Lessing for GOO marks.
An alum mine has been discovered in
Utah. It yields 80 to 90 per cent pure alum,
which can be extracted by simply placing ths
crude material in boiling water.
The Chicago Times has now $1,118,000
worth of libel suits on hand and does not seem,
to oe worried over them a bit Western Jour
nalism is not frightened artrifles.
A man has just been released from the
Jllnnesota penitentiary, after serving ten year
for a murder which his brother committed and
recently confessed on his death bed.
Experimenters at Manhattan, Kan.,
have discovered that tbe use of salt on wheat
fields will greatly Increase the yield. It is also
announced that salt will kill potato bags.
Cats are held in high esteem in Egypt,
even to this day. In one of the Khedive's
palaces at Cairo there is a free ration distrib
uted every day to any cats that may care t
apply.
The hind buttons used on the coats worn
in America cost $2,320,000 a year, and are of no
earthly account Think of how many bars of
soap that money would buy! And soap is
something that you feel the direct benefit of.
A citizen of Dubuque went around town
pushing an empty baby carriage before him,
and was arrested and fined $5. Had there been
a baby in the cart, no law or ordinance could
nave toucnea aim, wauo no nuuu iuiu ucw
no less a nuisance.
London has a poor relief society that re
ceives as contributions garments Instead oi
money. Each member is obliged to contributa
two garments a year. These are disposed of in
various ways by tbe officers of the society.
Some are sold at low prices to the poor; soma
are given away; and some are kept in stock and
loaned.
Wildcats abound this winter in the vi
cinity of West Stockbridge, Mass.. and hava
played havoc with turkeys and chickens. It is
thought, too, that tbe great scarcity of part
ridges in that neighborhood is due to tho
abundance of wildcats. A Rockland Mills man
caught one the other night that weighed 23
pounds.
A Massachusetts mother went to the)
room where her little girl was sleeping, and,
when she turned up the light noticed some
thinc dark under the little one's chin. Stoop
ing to see what it was, a mouse sprang away
like a flash and was gone. The little elrl had
been eating crackers in bed. and the crumbs
had attracted mousey, who tried to hide under
her chin when the light was turned on.
The oldest active stage driver in New
England is probably Harvey Ward, who drives
between East Eddington and Bangor. Although,
his route is bnt 12 miles long, it takes him into
the woods, away from railroads and telegraphs
and where bear and deer cross his road almost
daily. Harvey always eats bis Thanksgiving;
dinner at a certain Bangor hotel, and last
Thanksgiving Day he drove up to the door for
bis fortieth consecutive annual turkey dinner
on the very same red coach which he drove to
the same door in 1S43.
The entire aspect of nature along the
Hudson just now is far more like spring than
winter, and tho ice gatherers are in utter
despair. A farmer near Kingston bas jnst
been sowing eight bushels of rye; others are
plowing for other crops. The steam passenger
yachts have been dropped Into tbe water from
the dry docks, and are making regular trips
aloi-j: the river. Tows are being made up lor
varijns points North and South. Contlnuanca
ofsnehmild, moist weather Is contemplated
with alarm by tbe fruitgrowers.
A Chicago man got on a street car, car
rying in his hand a quart can of oysters. Ha
took a seat near the center of the car and care
fully slid the can under the seat near the stove
pipe. Tbe conductor bad deadened his fire
with fresh coal while going around the "loop,"
but as the car traveled along State street the
coal caught and burned up right merrily, until
the stove lid became red hot Then the appe
tizing odor of cooking oystera was distributed
through the car. The owner of the biralves
did not realize what was happening nntil it was
too late, and when he alighted at bis destina
tion he had a dry stow instead of a quart of
raws.
Five historical swords have been left by
the old German Emperor to the Berlin arsenal.
Tboy are the long sword, with a leather sheath,
which tho monarch woro from 1810-1834; tho
sword worn through the Austro-German and
tbe Franco-German wars, on the handles of
which aro inscribed the names of the most
famous battles of 1808 and 1S70-'71; tbe sword
which the Emperor wore at parades, and which
was called the "Konigs-sabel:" the sword ha
inherited from Frederick William IV.. and his
father's old sword, which had been through all
tho wars against the First Napoleon, and which,
bad its place next to the desk of William I..
close to the famous comer window where the
old man was daily greeted by the crowd when
tho guards passed the palace.
As a substitute for granite blocks, steel
paving is attracting considerable attention, its
durability being said to be quite a point In its
favor, and its cost being somewhat less. It
consists of steel strips about two and a half
inches wide and one inch thick, rolled with a
channel on the side exposed to traffic, and with
notches about eight Inches apart: these strips
weigh 11 Donnds to the yard, are laid across tha
street a distance of about five Inches between
centers, and their length Is only sufficient to
extend to the middle of the street, so that tho
proper slope from the center to the gutters can
be secured. They are bolted together, so as to
insure them against lateral slipping, and ara
fastened to wooden sills. A firmly constructed
bed of gravel composes the support for this
pavement while between the steel strips a
mixture of pitch and cement is poured, filling
the interstices to a level with the tops of tha
strips, and rendering the surface comparative
ly smooth.
CLIPPED BITS OK WIT.
"Stop the press!" cried a Quaker city
night editor In wild alarm.
"What's the matter?" Inquired the foreman.
There's nothing In the paper about John Waa
amakerl" Chicago Times.
TIUS IS MOJIET.
Great wisdom in this proverb
Undoubtedly doth He,
And he who said It doubless saw
How time can fly. Harper's Bazar.
A College Athlete "I hear that son you
have at college Is the best athlete of his class, " re
marked Mrs. Brown.
"Yes, " growled old Griggs, "he can beatanyt
thing I ever heard of running Into debt." Keia
Xork Sun.
At the Church Fair Miss Faraway (after
20 minutes pricing thlngs).-ZIght dollars for this
sash? "Why, I can buy it at any of the stores
for p."
Mr. Lightweight Ya-as, I know. Miss Faraway,
but my time is worth something, don't you know.
Harper's Bazar.
Got Something Anyhow "Ah, you are
out with Miss Bromley?"
"On.no. She made me a present last night X
asked her for her hand, and she gave me the next
thing to It."
"The mitten?"
"Precisely." Harper's Bazar.
Perfectly Safe Crimsonbeak So yon;
eloped with the Colonel's daughter, did you?
Bacon Yes.
"Did he raise any objection?"
"Well, you know the Colonel lost a leg In tha
war, so that It Is Impossible for him to kick."
Yonters Statesman.
A Campaign Echo "Ah, my darling,"
murmured J. Court Plaster, as they sat on a sofa
In the soltly lighted parlor, "on must forgive
'our ducky for what he said to little brother at tha
supper table, bnt little brother was naughty, 'on
know. What's the matter with Johany lately,
birdie, anyway?"
Johnny (from behind the sofa)-He's all right!
loleao Blade.
Had to be Made Up Country Groom
(nervously fingering a dollar bill, to minister).
Well. MUter Smlthers, 'bout what are you goln'
to tax me for the Job?"
Minister Oh, about a couple o dollars. Haw
buck, will make It square."
Country Groom (reaching down lntohls pocket.
-A couple o' dollars (with aslgb). WelL there
yon are, Mr. Smlthers. I s'pose it's cheap
enough, but that extra dollar Is goln to cut short
the weddln' tower, an' don't yoa ferglt It"
Harper's Bazar.
Max and Moritz-were the only mala
youngsters In the family. The first-named one
day brought a dog home, a horrid, ugly creature,
to the great disgust of the female portion of the
household. At length the oldest or the sisters
persuaded Utile Max to take the dog back where
he found It. or t j give It away, and gave him
threepence for his trouble. Max strutted off with
the cur, and returned In half an hour, munching
the remains of the last of the nuts he had bought
with his sister's money.
"Well, what have you done with that ugly
brute?" the latter Inquired. f
"Uuvlftoilorltz!" was the reply-MwMr
licit.
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