Ik Mam ESTABLISHED fEBRPAKY S, ISIS. VoL 43, No. 330.-Ditcred at Pittsburg Post ofllcc it 01 ember It. IHC, as seoona-class matter. Business Office 97 and 99 Fifth Avenue, News Rooms and PublishlngrHouse--75, 77 and 79 Diamond Street. This pnper tinting more limn Double tlio circulation or nny other Initio Suite outsido ct Philadelphia, its ndnntngcs as nn udier llslng medium will be nppareuu TEBJIS OF THE DISPATCH. TOSTAGE FEEE Ef THE CMTED STATES. DAILY IHSPATCn, One Year. f 800 Daily Dispatch, Per Quarter W Daily DisrATcn, OneJIonth '" Daily DisrATCH, Including Sunday, one year. Duly 1UIW Dispatcii, Including Sunday, P quarter !:' Daily Dispatch, including Sunday, ono month M bCNDAYDisrtTCn, one year. ISO Weekly DisrATcn, one car 125 The Daily Dispatch Is delivered by carriers at i: cents per m eel, orlncludiugtliesundaj edition, aiaicciits per week. PITTSBURG. -WEDNESDAY. JAN. 2, 1SS9. HOW POWEBFUL IS IT! If the Attorney General of Pennsylvania 5s fully in earnest in his move against the -water-inflated "Western Union Telegraph Company, that concern which now snaps its fingers alike at citizens, at laws and at Con stitutions will have to come down a peg. Everyone knows that there is a provision in the Pennsylvania Constitution against the consolidation of telegraph companies. Everyone knows that the Western Union lias on three distinct occasions defied that provision. It has bought and bribed com petition ont of the field in order that it might levy an extra tax on the public to pay dividends on the water in its inflated stock; and it has done this with that au dacious and cool indifference to the law which its master-spirits have never tailed to 'show when it suited their purpose. Having swallowed the Mutual Union and the Amer ican Union without interference, or so far as we know even protest from the State, the Western Union was of course not deterred for a moment by Pennsylvania's Constitu tion from gobbling the B. & O. when oppor tunity offered. Considering how openly corporations at their pleasure succeed in defying the funda mental laws oi the State and of the nation, it is not surprising that news of the move against the Western Union has already been met by the sneer that the concern in qnestion will know how to obtain a stay of proceedings. The Dispatch, nevertheless, sincerely trusts that no such reproach will attack the State administration. It accepts as satisfac tory Attorney General Kirkpatrick'sdcclar ation that the twelve months of delay have been occupied in preparing the evidence. It hopes that, now the case is started, nothing will prevent its adjudication. Let it be publicly known to all citizens of Pennsylva nia whetner their Constitution is null and void when it comes in conflict with those schemes by which promoters of corporations r firvt fill their pockets with watered stock and afterward conspire to shut off competi tion, so that the public shall have to pay them dividends on the bogus stock as well as that which represents actual cash or labor invested. A forfeiture of a few millions of the Western Union's property in Pennsylvania the penalty which the law prescribes would teach a useful lesson. AYhat a howl would go up from that corporation if the proceedings so resulted; and yet by buy ing out competing lines in defiance of the Constitution, and by unlawful combina tions it succeeds in making such nrbitrary charges to the public as transfers from the pockets of citizens of Pennsylvania to its coffers for more money every year than the interest on all its possessions in this State. It has established a virtual monopoly which can practically levy any tax it please on the business of the country. Can it also, at will, upset the Constitutions of States and paralyze the executive arm of the law? We shall see. THE VALUE OF FALSE TEETH. At Victoria, B. C, two houses were de stroyed by fire the other day and the corre spondent who describes the disaster states that "one woman was so fearful of the loss of the valuables in her bureau drawer that a fire man risked his life to save them. He found only a set of artificial teeth." From the last sentence we infer that the writer is of the opinion that false teeth can not properly be called valuables. He is probably a stripling to whom, of course, false teeth have no more worth than a bear skin would have in the eyes of a lizard. But he should not conclude that because false teeth are not treasures to him they are precious to nobody. Doubtless that alarmed old woman had good reason for classing her false teeth is. valuables. Maybe they were all that stood between her and the silent grave. Without them she could not talk; withont them she conld not eat; and what is life to a woman, even in British Columbia, if she can neither speak nor cat? Is it wonderful that she watched with horror the flames wreathing their red tongues around the bureau in which her teeth lay? We can see her stretching out her hands and pleading with the firemen to save her little all. And irthe spectators did not cheer when the fire man came down the ladder, teeth in hand, then Victoria deserves its appendage of B. C, in a chronological sense. Ealse teeth not valuable? Well, as they Bay in Prance, we shall see. THE SCOPE OF THE CENSUS. The propositions with regard to taking the eleventh census of the United States have called forth an almost unanimous ex pression of opinion that it must not present such an excessive example of eternity in time, as was realized by the tenth census. The imminent peril that the last census will not be completed before the new one is be gun makes the need of restriction indisput able. But the extraordinarily protracted nature of the last census is likely to produce a re action in the other direction. This is indi cated by the incisive remark of the New York Sun, that the seven volumes proposed by the House bill on the census are too many, and that three volumes are sufficient This -would enable the inquiries of the census to go little beyond the statistics of population and some of the leading items of produc tion. It would go as far in the direction of jiarrowing the scope of the census as the last one did in diffusing it all over the fol lowing decade. The fact is that the trouble with the last censns was not so much in excessive scope tias in permitting the special reports to spin 'Tout without any regard to either time or space. Of the twenty-two volumes of the census,prob- I&uiy two-thirds dealt with topics on which mill information was important and inter esting to the nation. But the whole report could, with strict regulation, have given iu eleven or twelve volumes all the informa tion now spread out through the twenty-two. This would have cut the total down to about the seven volumes contemplated by the bill, and in that form the census would have been more useful than it now is. If the new census is energetically pushed and carefully edited, it ought to give a full view of our social and industrial growth in about seven or eight volumes. One of the most effective methods for securing prompt work would be a provision in the bill that all reports, special or otherwise, must be completed within two years from the com mencement of work, in order to be paid for out of the appropriation. With that done there will be little danger of the scope of the work getting too large. TEE GOYEBHOB'S MESSAGE. The Governor's message, which is pub lished iu full to-day, treats of a wide scope of subjects and necessarily occupies consid erable space. It is inevitably so, and is hardly to be criticised for its length, al though the unique references to that quality at the clote of the message implies a sus picion that it needs an apology on that score The subject most fully treated in the mes sage is that of revenue and taxation; and, in thatconnection,the failure of the revenue law passed two years ago is considered at length. The most creditable explanation is pre sented of the remarkable omission of a vital signature; and the rather questionable idea is advanced "that it was perhaps well for the Commonweath that the bill did not be come a law." It is necessary to dissent from any such view. It is never well for any Commonwealth that legislation deliber ately planned by the legislative authority shall be nullified by either stupidity or col lusion on the part of the officials of the Legislature. Whe there may be founda tion for the Gubernatorial belief that the bill was not all that it should be, the farther fact set forth in the message that millions of corporate and personal property are escaping their just share of taxation, leaves it pertinent to ask why this condition of aflairs was left to continue for two years without calling a session of the Legislature to rectify the miscarriage of the last bill. It is to be hoped that the Governor's recom mendations on this subject may bear fruit in measures equalizing taxation at this session. As the Governor well 6ays: "Men are more essential to the life of the Com monwealth than money." The recommendations with regard to in dustrial training, schools for seamanship, mining schools, and the orphans' schools show a careful consideration of these im portant subjects. The suggestion that the transfer of the orphan school pupils to the normal schools would bene fit the latter "by thus furnish ing them pupils for their model schools," reveals a unique need for model educa tional institutions. If institutions of that class are in need of pupils, it indicates some thing radically wrong either with the schools or the public. The notice given to the generally bad con dition of the country roads throughout the State, lends force to the idea which has been discussed by The Dispatch of using con vict labor in building first-class roads throughout the country. The recommenda tions for simplifying legal practice and giving the Supreme Court the benefit of modern inventions in the preparation of their decisions are timely. The message is in the main a business document, and pays no attention to politics. If the Legislature will exhibit a similar choice of subjects for consideration, the ses sion will probably be more useful to the people of the State than several of its pre decessors put together. THE ESTIMATES FOE 89. Those reports from the Chiefs of Depart ments will need careful examination, detail by detail, and then again in bulk, before they come up in Council. Some of the de mands made, for instance, nearly $150,000 extra for fire and police, will find the public in an emphatically non-concurrent mood. The property-owner who has been able to pay his taxes and insurance through 1S88, and who still lives, will not see why he should dive his hand deeper into his pocket for police and fire protection for 1889. There is a point at which he will offer sturdy resistance. Having been told that last year's expenses represented the fair running cost of the city government he will likely plant both feet on that platform with the firmness ot intel ligent conviction which results from seeing that the city has neither been burned nor plundered during the past twelve months. Insurance rates do noFdiminish in propor tion as new thousands are laid out on the fire apparatus, nor is it in numbers so much as in activity that the police force becomes formidable to offenders. Of course when we come to the streets it is very apparent that more is to be done in 1SS9 than was attempted in 1888; and de mands for more fnpney may well be ex pected. This is because of special work which may be small one year and large the next, or vice versa. But as for the ordinary running, expenses of the city the taxpayer will want them down to a business basis; and the heads of all the departments can rely upon it that the scrutiny of items will be qnite close. Economy is looked for as well as efficiency. HE. PIATTS JEBEMIAD. It will not add to the fame of Donn Piatt to figure as the author of such a sweeping and unreasonable charge as the following, which we quote from an article from his pen in Selford's Magazine: There is not a man, woman or child in our country possessed of any brain bnt knows that Benjamin Harrison was elected President by open, wholesale bribery. Mr. Piatt either knowingly says that which is untrue, or without proper thought slanders his native land. If he possesses the qualification he defines for "a man, woman or child in our country" he wouid in his deliverance upon this momentous question have seen the necessity of marshaling facts in support of such a tremendous indictment. But while big-sounding words and vague generalizations are plentiful in Mr. Piatt's article, facts are very few and not at all new. Mr. Foster's silly campaign circular, Senator Ingalls' advice to a Kansas delegate at the Chicago Convention to nominate "some such fellow as Phelps, who can tap "tVall street," and the alleged Dudley circu lar directing the handling of floaters in In diana "in blocks of five or more," constitute the entire basis for Mr. Piatt's charge that a President of the United States has been elected by wholesale bribery. The Dispatch is with Mr. Piatt, cr any other man, in an honest attempt to dis close political debauchery if it exists, to prevent the bribery of voters, or to guard the purity of the ballot. But The Dis patch does not believe that Mr. Foster, Mr. Dudley, or even Senator Ingalls, repre sents the Republican party, or a majority of it, and consequently the proof afforded of the personal corruption of these three men cannot convict,in oar judgment of the party. The election occurred two months ago and the most serious allegation of corrupt prac tises, founded on the alleged Dudley circu lar, has not been properly proved yet, al though the Democrats of Indiana possess the means and the machinery, as well as the natural desire to discredit a political foe. It is not to be denied that the raising of enormous campaign funds is dangerons and abomina ble. The Dispatch has never been back ward in denouncing large expenditures of money in politics, even though the treasure be squandered in ways that are not abso lutely illegal. Donbtless too much money was spent on both sides during the last cam paign; doubtless there were men wicked enough to bribe and be bribed, but that the great political fabric has passed into the hands of corrupt dealers and has become "a mere sham, to shame us before the world," as Mr. Piatt says, we do not believe. Neither do we believe that Mr. Piatt, de prived of his envelope of anger and disap pointment at defeat, would still insist on bewailing the downfall of our Republican institutions. Me. Chauncy M. Depjew declares that John Sherman had nothing to do with the nomination of General Harrison. As this is jnst what every aspirant for position says of his opponents, it is timely to suggest to the genial Mr. Dcpew that a man of his talents should evolve somcthingoriginal in this connection. Such a stroke of art, for example, as saying that the other fellows have a better claim for the place, wonld keep up his reputation for strikingly novel expressions. TnE Quay Elate took the legislative posi tion yesterday without enough of a fight to make it interesting. The DiSPATCn was of opinion that when your Uncle Errett started out for a position he would be likely to pocket the persimmon. Gen. Habeison's reported declaration that "no one will ever put me in his breeches pocket" is general construed to mean that Blaine's Cabinet chances are not worth mentioning. But is not the opinion that Blaine cannot be a member of the Cabinet without carrying the whole govern ment in his pocket, more flattering to Blaine, than to the President-elect and the other fellows? Sixty pauper immigrants were sent back from New York last week to the countries which had sent them here. It seems that investigation has some effect in spurring up public officials to the point of doing their duty. It is rather amusing to find our Demo cratic cotemporaries nursing the hope that the narrow Republican majority in the House of Representatives may be wiped out by the death of some of the members before the regular session begins. This hope seems to be based on the opinion that when a Democrat once gets into office he is immortal. It appears that the London Timet is still trying to bribe witnesses to swear to Par nell's connection with the Fenian outrages; but that dodge is so old with the Times that its renewal does not attract any attention. The claim of the K. of L. officials that three-fourths of the miners in this section belong to that organization, and that of the miners' union that two-thirds of the miners have joined it, indicates a surplus of miners. Is it possible that any of the mem bers of that bard-working industry are re peating? The New Year's call has fallen into in nocuous desuetude. Gilded yonth desirous of swearlng-off with a bpree, have to do it at their own expense by patronizing the regularly licensed saloons. Berry Wall is reported as saying that if American actors are protected against the competition of the pauper tragedians of Eu rope he will go on the stage. That ought to settle it. Any step which will induce the dudish Berry to exhibit himself will be voted down by a large majority. Tun report that a florists' trust has been organized, may be passed over with slight attention in view of the fact that it can make no difference in the price of bread. The Savannah News has joined the phalanx of Southern papers that are anx ious to have the Northern press denounce the White Caps as much as the KuKInx. As that is exactly what the Northern press is doing we hope that the esteemed News will profit by the example. The Citizens Traction road, after letting itself be beaten by Christmas and slowly moving events, finally got its cars to going on an even start with 1889. The advice of the New York Sun that General Harrison shall buy an encyclope dia is probably good, if the President-elect is not already provided in that respect. But it may not be entirely disinterested. The editor of the Sun is also the editor of a very good encyclopedia. Milan-, the malodorous, appears to have succeeded in discovering a new manner to make himself a stench in the nostrils o decent Europe. It would be well to be careful about ask ing too much indemnity from Hayti. That small but perniciously active island might take the fearful revenge of ceding itself to the United States; and then we would find ourselves in the position of the man who caught a Tartar. Don't forget in, dating your letters to day to cross out your inadvertenf"8V and write in the "9's" over them. FUBLIC PEOPLE PARAGRAPHED. MARY Andebson is meeting with success in Boston. She was clever enough to let that city know that she had met Mr. Browning. Mns. Humphrey Waed, author of "Robert Elsmere," is very much annoyed at the reports that her famous-story is to be dramatized. 11 K. and Mns. Gladstone are accompanied on their Italian tour by their daughter, Mrs. Drew, whose husband is curate of Hawarden. AsiSTEKof the late Colorow, Chief of the Southern Utes, died the day after her brother's demise. She was old and feeble and conld not withstand the sad news of the renegade's de parture. The public, however, has borne Oolo row's death with great equanimity. On Saturday William E. Gladstone reached his 79th year. Naples and Hawarden both re allied this fact. Gladstone is now at tho former place, and the telegraph office there was over worked in the effort to keep pace with tho con gratulatory'messages sent to him from all parts of the world. Countless presents went to Hawarden. Oxford sent him a silver lamp. Cambridge presented him with rare books. There were all sorts of gifts, from sweetmeats to a weighing machine. Gladstone is in splen did health at present, and even talks of climb- .ing Vesuvius. J THE TOPICAL TALKER. Tho Mariner's Fear of Lnnd-A Tale of a Jolly Boatswain. In an inland city, such as Pittsburg, there are always plenty of people to be found w..ose dread of the sea would prevent them from trusting themselves on board an ocean steamer. A few men, and almost any number of women are known to me who could not be induced to cross tho Atlantic. Perhaps a good many of these timorous ones would be converted if they were to go on board such a floating town as the Inman "City of Chicago," or any other of the gigantic Atlantio liners. Of course, there are many, also, who do not favor going down to tho sea in ships, because of the attendant terror of sea sickness. Great and unreasonable as is the landsman's dread of the sea, it is equaled very often by the seaman's dread of travel on land. , , A short time ago a young Pittsburger, who happened to be in Now York, encountered the captain of a Cnnarder with whom he was well acquainted. The captain possesses literally world-wide fame, and a braver or better sea man does not breathe. He had been often in vited to visit this city bofore for he has not only friends of travel, but at least one school mate here and the young Pittsbnrger begged him to accompany him on his return home. But the old sea dog thanked him kindly but added, "Nothing could induce ino to trust my self to a railway train ovor the Allegheny Mountains. No, sir! it's too much ot a risk for me to trust my bones on such a journey." And yet If you shvuld chanco to cross the Atlantio in that old' captain's ship in tho wild est weather of tho year, when the winds are contrary, the waves mountains high, and fog wrapping tho great steamer in a dozen extra dangers, I'll wager you'd find him at the mo ments of greatest peril, cool, calm and coura geous. He cares not for the dangers of tho sea; he knows them all but the dangers of the land he wots not of and they are terrible to him. Talking of ships and the sea, I am re minded of a story that a traveler told mo re cently to illustrate and enforce his belief in the honesty and fidelity of sailors. "I was crossing theJAtlan tic from Now'.York inaCunardera year or two ago," saia the traveler, "and as we reached tho ocean on our first night ont we passed tho wreck of the Oregon outside tho bar. That ill-fated Cnn arder had but recently sunk and there was a light hanging from the masthead, which was abovo water, to show passing vessels the loca tion of the wreck. I was on deck as we sighted the light and I asked a sailor standing near me what it was. Ho told mo and we gradually drifted into conversation. He had been a sailor on the Oregon when she sank, and I re member how graphically he described the way in which the passengers were packed into the life-boats, by laying them In layers crossways. "Well, when the chat came to an end, I hand ed my sailor friend a shilling to get some grog. The next morning I met him again on deck,and he touched his hat and asked me if I was the man he had talked with the night before. 1 told him I was, and he said: Then, I guess, you didn't mean to give me this, did you?' and he held up a sovereign. I had mistaken the English gold equivalent of a S3 gold piece for a shilling. That was pretty honest in my sailor friend, wasn't it? I didn't let him suffer for his honesty. I told him to keep the sovereign. We had many chats after that, and he proved a very interesting fellow." V "It chanced" continued tho traveler "that I came back on the same steamer a few months later, and I renewed my acquaintance with the sailor. As we neared the journey's end there was the usual sale of pools on the number of the pilot boat which should take us into New York harbor. I had lost so mnch money in tho pools before that I didn't think of buying any this time. But my friend the boatswain came to me and told mo that if I had any thought of bnying pools to take number 19, for, said he, that's the pilot who takes this tcescI in nine times ont of ten. Bo I went to the auction and bou ht number 19 for about $15, 1 think it was. "I didn't stay up all night watching for the pilot as somo men do, but went to bed. I was awakened in the morning by hearing a young lady in the state room next mine exclaim. 'Oh! number 19's wonf "I found that it was truo and I won about $500 in tho pools. You can bet I gave the boatswain a fat share of tho fortune his tip brought me." A BOSTON BOODLER. He Pockets a Quarter of a Million oi Pub lic Pnnds. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. Boston, January L A year or two ago a rumor crept into print that Mr. Leighton, for many years clerk of the Municipal Conrt, was a defaulter to an amount of not less than S250, 000. The rumor was emphatically denied by Mr. Leighton, and there was really not much ground for the story, except that an accountant was examining bis books. The matter was dropped. The accountant was kept at work on Leighton's books, and he has been at work ever since. The result of his labors has not been made public, but it is understood that the deficiencies m tho ex-clerk's accounts will not be much less than the amonnt above stated. The first of ficial reference to the matter was made by Mayor O'Brien last night. It was embodied in a veto of an order authorizing the expenditure of 18,000 for certain county expenses. Mr. Leighton is still living in style at his residence at the Back Bay. He is reputed to bo worth nearly gauu,uuu. THE GREAT BORE LIGHTED. The Wcstinshonso Company Completes Its lloosnc Tunnel Contract. Auiant, January L The Fitchburg Rail road Company, a year ago last November, con tracted with the Westlnghouse Electric Light Company of Pittsburg to light the Hoosac tunnel. The system has at last been completed after a year's work. The obstacles enconntered have been thought to bo almost insurmountable by many electricians, and the success of the venture has caused much comment. Forty miles of lead-covered cables have been laid in wooden condnits in trenches on each sido of the tracks. The lamps in tho tunnel are arrayed in sec tions of 20 50-lamp volts each. The power is supplied from two 125-horse power boilers and a 12o-liorse power engine, three dynamos each of 050 16-candlelight capacity, and tno direct current machines. The engineers can now sco a. mile ahead in the absence of fog, and work in tho tunnel can be accomplished much more rapidly, and travel is rendered mnch safer by the electric light. Singular Information Abont Americans. From an Article by Max O'ltell In the Forum. It most strike Europeans as very droll to see ladies attired in low-necked ball dresses to re ceive afternoon callers, but 1 found the prac tice was universal. Parisians remember to this day the American millionaire I as going to say billionaire who on the occasion of his- daughter's wedding, wroto to the Town Council of Paris to ask for the loan of the Arc de Triomphe, which ho was anxious to decorate in honor of the wedding and have tho special uso of during the day. Ho was politely informed that tho arch was not to let. "Then I will buy it," he replied; "name your price." The American woman docs not render to man a tithe of the devotion she receives from him. , Their politics appeared to me perfectly child ish; but, if I am right, I may add, that like children, they will learn. It Is by voting that people learn to vote. Cast Steel Gnns and Naval Officers. From the New York Trlbuna. Whatever may have been tho cause of the unfortunate and disastrous bursting of the six inch cast steel gun at the Annapolis proving ground, we would suggest to tho officers in charge of those tests to bear in mind the apt remark of the late Charles Sumner in tho French arms investigation discussion: "A child should be nursed by one who loves it" Tho gun was both a theoretical and a practical novelty; hence an attempt should have been made by the officers to increaso their knowledge of the behavior of Bessemer steel under strain of firing. Application of Convict Labor to Roads. From the Philadelphia Kecord. ThePittsbubo Dispatch favors the appll cation of convict labor to the roads of the country. No Industry would be disturbed by convict labor so applied, and there is much to be said in 'favor of it. The only serious ob jection lies in the public spectagle of com pulsory servile labor under such restraint and cuard aswould'bo necessarv in thn mo nf convicts. I A LETTER LOST FOE SIX YEARS. How Two Lovers Learned Too Lato tho Fate of a Missing Note. From the Detroit Free Press, Janet Russell was tho belle of the village, a Canadian village on the St. Lawrence, and was admired by all the swains who dwelt in those parts, but her "steady company" was a hand some young fellow John Miller son of the village postmaster, who also kept a general store. John and Janet went together to a runic frolio one night, and on the road John asked the old question, which was answered in the affirmative. Things went nicely, but at last, Janet dancing twice in succession with a young fellow whom he had looked upon as a rival, John felt bad, and on the way home sharp words passed between them. The girl told him she wished it had been Charley Hall (tho rival) who had asked her the question before mentioned, whereat John said he would give her a day to take that back, and if not why, all was over between them. Janet relented when she had time to think about it, and tho next morning wrote a note to John and drooped it into the letter-box at old Mr. Miller's store. Time passed on. A year or so after that Charley Hall and Janet Russell wero married, and John Miller was wedded to another girt. Some fivo years passed and old Mr. Miller died, leaving his property and bis store to his son, too at once set aiiout making improvements. And it so happened that the day the old letter box was broken up, Mrs. Hall, accompanied by her eldest daughter, i years old, was in the store. A letter dropped to the floor; a work man picked it up, anl with the remark, "Here's an old letter addressed to you, Mr. Miller," passed it to John. At the moment he was talking to his old sweetheart. Ho toos: the letter and turned it over and over in his hand. As Janet's eyes fell on it she blushed. John opened the note and read it, then he handed it to Janet with a bow and the words: "That has been in the box ever since the day after we went to the dance at Turner's. Ah. Janet, if I had only known!" Mrs. Hall took her child by tho hand and went home without a word. Janet's poor little note had been caught and concealed for nearly sixyears, and had changed the current of two lives, but for better or worse who can tell? ALIVE, TT LEGALLY DEAD. Peculiar Operations of the Lnw In Cases of Life Imprisonment. From the Sen- York Herald. It is not generally known that when a person is sentenced to imprisonment for Ufa in this State he is regarded as, legally dead. The Sur rogate of Westchester county will so con sider Francis E. Brouty, who under the will of his father, the late Francis Brouty, of Mount Vernon, was devised property worth $15,000 or 520,000, which he would have taken if he had not been sent to Sing Sing prison for the rest of his natural life for the murder of Police man Woods. I had a talk with Warden Brush, of Sing Sing, on this subject. He told me that there had been several cases like that of Brouty. A good many years ago, the son of a millionaire of this city was sent to the prison for life. Some time after that the father died, and his will was offered for probate just as the elder Bronty's has been. In the partition of the es tate the convict was utterly ignored, and bis share was divided among the other chil dren of the deceased. After a while new evidence was discovered which plainly showed that an innocent man had been convicted ot murder. The matter was properly placed before the Governor, who not only granted the unfortunate victim of cir cumstantial evidence his freedom, but issued a full pardon, which restored him to citizenship. This It was anticipated would place the un justly accused mau in the eye of the law ex actly on the same footing as before his convic tion. Not so. however, for when he brought suit against those among whom his father's estate had been divided to recover his share the case was thrown out of court. A decision was rendered, in effect, that as he had ,onco been dead in law he must remain so. TROUBLESOME GIFT. Annoynnco a Ulan Hns From Hi Wife's Christmas Present. From the New York Sun.: 'That's j our Christmas, is it? A sliver dollar of 1SSS, nice and new and shiny. Is your wife going to put a hole in it and hang it round your neck on a ribbon? Thinks you haven't cut your teeth? That's nice." "No, but she has done this to it, and thinks it is so nice for me, 'cause I can always carry it in my pocket," and, touching the letter e in tho inscription on tho dollar, it flew open, revealing two hollow halves, the inside of ono bearing his engraved monogram, with the date, and from the other smiling the portrait of a beauti ful woman, with full, soft lips and wistful dusky eyes. "Her picture, you know. It is nice, it's very nice," he continued. "I don't see how I ever lived withont it. The first thing I did was to spend it for cigars. I ran back three blocks, offered the boy 12 for it, and paid him two more to run after a crusty old party to whom he bad given it in change; then I spent it for a glass of brandy and soda in an art gallery, went in and played a game or two, thought of ic, and set every boy in tho place hunting for it. The fellows all turned their pockets inside out, and at last it was found. I helieve it cost me abont $7 that time. Let me see, seven and three are ten, and six just now, make SIS in 24 hours. Oh, it's a great success immense." ITS VOICE IS LARGE, Bat tho Baby is a Year Old and Weighs Only Thrco Pounds. Detroit, January L A weo little bundle done up in any number of diminutive bed clothes, was a center of great attraction yester day. It was the Windsor one-pound baDy. Mr. andMrs. McEjren, living in tho western por tion of our Canadian suburb, are tho proud parents of tho lilliputian. Dr. Reams, of Windsor, guarantees that the child when born weighed less than 16 ounces. It is now a year old and weighs three ounces less than three pounds. Its voice has grown all out of propor tion to its size. It proved of immense interest to mothers in the audience. no Got Ills Watch Bach. Pottstown, January L At a fair at Faeg leysville, three miles from here, a watch and a sum of money wero stolen from two persons. The man who lost bis watch stationed himself at the door, drew a knife and refused to let anybody out until his property was returned. Several persons then flourished revolvers and knives, and for several minutes the wildest .excitement prevailed. Finally tho thief re turned tho watch to the owner. Bnicm's New Year's Gift. Special Telesram tolhc Dispatch. Salem, O., January L The Salem Daily Jfcus made its first appearance this evening. It is a neat, six-column sheet, pnblished by J. W. Northrop, former publisher of tho Buckeye Videite. G. W. Pent, of Beaver Falls, is asso ciate editor. RHYMES FOR THE NEW YEAR. TAKE AS DIRFCTED. About this time 'most every year Upon the druggists' shelves Two vials at tho outer edge Present their useful sell cs. Full well they know that New Year's Day, And also New ear's night, Will make of many manly heads A large and an ful sight. To conquer sundry acbes and pains. And throbbing veins subdue. These little powders counteract The city's earminc hue. Apolllnarls lends Its aid, And sparkling vlchy bright. Combined with sodll bl-carb, And bismuth! sub nib. TWO 6IDES. Now ladles of uncertain age, Who realize their fate, Kegret they did not make the lean In 18SS. " Now bashful bachelors once more The sheltering woods resign, To hall with Joy the welcome year Of 18S9. DEBTS. It's not among the poor you'll find The men who most the dun dread; The ones who run the most behind Are of the big 400. wonps OP WISDOM. The friend you meet among the throng Who of your welfare questions you Just let Dim think you get along A little better than you do. TUE SMALL BOT. Though we are taught it Is sublime To rise from low degree, The small boy shouldn't try to climb Upon the Christmas tree. TUE YOUSO MAN. The young man with a bank account Among economists should rank. Providing that this good amount Itnput Into a farobank. H. X, Extning Sun, NEW YEAR'S IN ABW I0BK. The Hotels Celebrate 'the Dny by Betting Elnbornle Free Lunches. I Special Telegram to the Dispatch. Niw York, January L There was a marked difference in the manner, of the various hotels in receiving their guests and customers to-day, and in none of them was there so elaborate a spread as in the Marlboro Hotel. In the cafe adjoining the office was a big table that fairly groaned beneath the weight of the dishes that for three days Steward Henry Borel and August Duin, the chief, bad been preparing. A striped bass, weighing- pounds, was the center piece, so built on tower of jelly and pastry work as to seem invincible. A pyramid of boiled lobsters, live feet high, stood behind it, wnne onevery nana were tngiisn pneasants, partridges, and quail. There was a game salmi, several huge turkeys, four big squares of beef, and salads of all kinds. At the Parker House Chief Steward. Charles Steward, who used to be at Delmonico's, bad charge of the arrangements. On a little side table was an immense piece of cold corn beef that was surrounded by every vegetable in season. Another table held a Kennebec salmon in holiday garb. Jellies, fruits and wines were in profusion, and justice was done to the good things. The Hoffman House was lammed during the entire afternoon, and the big table in the cafe was crowded. Wonderful structures were tumbling over nnder the attack of hungry men. The chef, E. Laperruque, had several fine specimens of his handiwork on the table. One was a wonderful creation made entirely out of suet. It represented a table three feet long, on which stood a wild boar fighting with dogs. It looked like a work In Parian marble. The Morton House did things up in great shape, and ended up the day in a philanthropic manner. There was a big Kennebec salmon there, and huge mounds of roast and corn beef, turkeys, chickens and salads. At 8 o'clock all the messenger boys that conld be gathered in from tho various offices were brought in front of the feast and helped to all they could eat. The little fellows showed their appreciation of this kindness by acting like geuuemen. A SCOTCH SEEM0N. Some Seasons Why Discontented People Ought to be Happy. From Social Gleanings, by Mark Boyd. "Ah, my friends, what causes have we for gratitude oh, yes, for the deepest gratitude! Look at the place of our hanitationl How grateful should we be that we do not leeve in the far north: oh no! amid the frost and the snow, and the cauld and the weet, oh no! where there's a lang day tae half o' the year, oh yes! and a lang, lang nicht the tither, oh yes! that we do not depend upon the Aura wry Boreawlis, oh no! that we do not gang shiver ing about in skins, oh not smoking atnang tho snaw liko mowdiwarts, oh no, no! and how graatef ul should we be ' that we do not leeve in the far. South, beneath the equawter, and a sun aye burnin' burnin', where the sky's het, and ye're burnt black as a smiddy, oh yes! where there's teegers, oh yes! and lions, oh yes! and crocodiles, oh yes! and fearsome beasts growlin' and grinnln' at ye amonfr, the woods, where the very air Is a fever, liko the burnin' breath o'a fiery drawgon; that we do not leeve in these places, oh no, no, no! no! But that we leeve in this blessit island of oors.callit Great Britain, oh, yes! yes! and in that pairt of it named Scotland, and in that bit o' auld Scotland that looks up at Ben Nevis, oh yes! yes! yes! where there's neither frost nor cauld, nor wund, nor weet, 1 nor nan, nor rain, nor teegers, nor lions, nor burnin' suns, nor hurricanes, nor " Here a tremendous blast of wind and rain from Ben Nevis blew in the windows of the kirk, and brought the preacher's eloquence to an abrupt conclusion. BELGIUM'S IRON TRADE. Interesting Information Abont the Condi tion of tho Soilness There. From the North British Mall.j The production of finished iron in Belgium increased considerably in 1SS7, although the manufacturers were Ifmany respects placed at a disadvantage as regards the raw material. The demand for girders was unusually active on the part of the United States, and the ex portation to Italy was greatly increased in an ticipation of a change in the Italian customs tariff. Great Britain also imports large quan tities of girders from Belgium, though it regu lates the prices on that market as regards bars and merchant iron in general. The extraordi nary activity that prevailed in the German iron market had a remarkable influence on the position of tho Belgian ironmasters, who had been accustomed to procure a large proportion of their refining pig-iron from Luxemburg, but as the works In the latter country found it was more advantageous last year to dispose of their production in Germany, tho Belgians were compelled to cover their requirements in Great Britain and France, since owing to the comparatively high price of coal and coke thev were unable to increase their own prodnctioh of pig-iron to any great extent. There are at present 39 rolling mills in Belgium, with 316 motors driven by steam and water power, rep resenting together a force of rather more than 9,000 H. p. The nnmber of hands employed in the mills is stated to be 5.36S. and their average daily wages amounted in 1887 to 3.07fs, the to tal production of bars, girders, plates and sheets being about 330,000 tons. MAYOR GRANT, OF NEW YORK. Hewitt Is Glad That His Duties Aro at an End. New Yobk, January L At 12 o'clock to-day the new Mayor, Hugh J. Grant, was led to his desk in the City Hall by Hon. Abram S. Hewitt. For more than an hour previous the City Hall was filled by a throng to witness the ceremony of the incoming Mayor's introduction into office. Mayor Hewitt first received Mr. Grant in his private room. After a brief con versation both gentlemen entered the Mayor's oflice, and leading Mr. Grant to the Mayor's desk, Mr. Hewitt said: "According to law tho hour of 12 o'clock this day brings my official duties to an end and jour's as Mayor begin. I can only say that if you have half the pleasure in taking up these duties that I have in laying them down, you must feel a very happy man. I wish you every happiness in your administration." Then, turning to the assemblage. Mayor Hewitt continued: "Gentlemen. I introduce to yon the Mayor of the city of New York." and then walked out of tho building. There was a good deal of cheering for Mayor Grant, but when the crowd bethought ittelf of the out going Mayor and gave him a lusty cheer, Mr. jiewiit was ont oi neanng distance. Other heads of departments elected in November were also installed, THE COPf RIGHTURS 3IEET. They Decide That They Have a Great Deal of Work Before Them. Boston, January L Tho annual mee'ting of the International Copyright Association was held yesterday. President W. Elliot presided. There were also present H. O. Houghton, Rev. Joseph Cook, Rev. W. E. Gnffo, Daniel Loth rop. W. T. Adams, James Pa'rton and others. DanaEstcs, tho Secretary, said ho had no formal report to make and that there seemed to be no special recommendations to make. Mr. Houghton mentioned cases of organized oppo sition to tho work of the association, which he said bad a great deal of work before it. It was decided best to defer the election of officers until a future date. It was then voted that a committee of 15 bo apuointed by the Chair to assist the Executive Committee preparing an authors' reading or other entertainment to raise funds for tho work of the association. WOULD LIKE TO BE SENATORS. Six Colorado Citizens Who Want to Go to Wunlilnston. Denvfb. Col., January L Tho biennial session of the General Assembly of Colorado will conveno to-morrow. The session frill bo of considerable importance, as a U. S. Senator to succeed Senator Bowen is to be chosen. The candidates for this office are: Ex Senator Tabor, ex-Congressman Svmes, Senator Bowen, ex-Senator Chilcott, Rev.'Dr. David H. Moore, and E. O. Wolcott, of Denver. A WORRIED ACTOR. - John A. i)Incknyo Disappears Rather Than Attempt a New Part. New Yobk, January 1. John A. Mackaye, the comedian, who has mysteriously disap peared, has not yet been found. Every hos pital and police station in the city has been searched fn vain. His mother has received a telegram Raying be was eolng to Cleveland. It is believed that he has been overwrought with worry about his new part and has pre ferred flight to the risk of making a failure. Charles T. Woerd. WAT.THAM, Mass., January 1. Charles V. Woerd died yesterday at Hackctt, Cat., while en route from Los Angeles to San Francisco. He was born in Holland 70 years ago, and came to this town in early life. He did much to promote the growth of American watchmaking by the invention of many wonderful maohiaes for the making of different parts of the watch. AN EX-SLAYE AN ALDEE1TAN. Jeff Davis' Old Servant Writes a Letter to His Waster. Raleigh, N. 0., January Warnes H. Jones, colored, of this city, who was Mr. Jefferson Davis' body servent while the latter was Presi dent of the Southern Confederacy, wrote him a letter some weeks ago expressive of his high re gard. Jones stated that he had not seen his former master since both were taken to Fortress Monroe. Jones was captured with Mr. Davis in Georgia, and made crcat efforts to secure his master's esctpe. Mr. Davis makes special men tion of him in his history. Jones has made par ticular denial of the story that Davis was at tired in woman's clothing when captured. Since the war Jones has lived here. He is a Repub lican In politics, and has for 18 years been an Alderman. His love for Mr. Davis amounts to devotion. The following autograph letter came to-day irom Air. uavis, oatea at Beauvoir, juus., De cember 2ih "I was very glad to receive your letter, with its assurance of kind remembrance, and it gave pleasure not only to me but also to my daughter, who was,an infant when you last saw her. Mrs: Davis you know was always your particular friend. We have all rejoiced when we have heard of vour hnnnrahln nrnsneritv. and have felt that it was what was due to your integrityand fidelity. The many years which have come and gone since we parted have in nowise diminished my regard for yon and in terest in your welfare. On Christmas Day I mailed to you a portrait taken of me in order that you might see me as I now am. "Witn the best wishes of myself, Mrs. Davis and all my household, I am truly your friend, "JErriBSox Davis." BISTOEI.EEPEATS ITSELF. Evidence That the First Harrison Com- pnlgn Was Like tho Lasr. Indianapolis, January L A short time ago General Harrison received in his mail a scrap book, which will prove decidedly interesting. It contains a history of the political campaign made by William Henry Harrison. This history is made up from newspaper clip pings. All the speeches of that early cam paign are contained in it, together with the stories and gossip of the campaign. It -would seem that even then charges and counter charges of all sorts were made, just as during later days, with the exception, probably, that they were more serious in nature. With per usal of the clippings one would be especially struck with the incidents and happenings of the campaign of the grandfather, which re peated themselves in that of the grandson. Strangest of all to those mostly interested is the fact the Sl-a-dav story is also a repetition, save that William Henry Harrison was accused of saying that 10 cents a day was enough for any laboring man. That much compensation in those day, however, would probably he about an eqnevalent for a SI a day compensation at the present time. The charge appeared to have originated at some distant point. William Henry Harrison, it is shown, was warned of it by amend, who in writing stated that the story was being spread, and that it was intended to reach Ohio so late in the campaign that its falsity could not be proved to those voters at distant points. Thera are similar Interesting noints. and the scrap-book will prove a valuable addition to the library otf the President-elect. AN INFANT MONSTROSITY. A Two-Year Old Child Whose Head is 36 Inches In Circumference Special Telegram to the Dispatch. JOHNSTOWN, January L A Mr. and Mrs. Boss, of Morrellville, are the parents of a son with a remarkable head. The child was born two years ago. At its birth it was apparently sound and healthy. Some time after the child was born its head began to grow out of all pro portions to the rest of its anatomy. Doctors were consultPd, and everything that medical science suggested was applied to stay the un natural development. AU efforts proved f utile, however, and the growth of its head continues. It is now 36 inches in circumference, or almost as big as a half-bushel measure. The body is about tho right proportion for a 2-year-old child. The little ono cannot stand owing to the weight of its head; neither can it speak, hut it seems to understand what is said to it, and to have all its mental faculties unim paired. The cause of the unnatural growth of the child's head is called by the doctors hydroclephalus," or in plain English it is the accumulation of fluid in and about the brain. Medical science has no cure for the malady, and death is liable to occur to the sufferer at any time. WHAT THEY SWORE 0FP FROM. Somo of tho Bnd Habits Abandoned by Well-Known People Yesterday. From the New York Sun.! Mrs. Rive-Chanler from chumming for ad jectives in the rivers ot sixteenth century liter ature. Edgar Fawcett from mayhem of English grammar. The Emperor William from uniforms. The Prince of Wales from anti-fat. The General Boulanger from Boulangering. King Mwanga from being a bad man. Mrs. Parsons from lecturing. John Jacob Kilrain from Anglomania. Fire Alarm Foraker from ringing himself up. R. B. Hayes from charging double for single yolked eggs. Matthew Stanley Quay, from shutting up. B. Harrison, ditto. William Walter Phelps will abandon his bright crimson scarfs and nnbang bis hair. Colonel Dan Lamont Will give up shopping: tours to New York. YANKEE GOLD HUNTERS REJOICE Over tho Discovery of Precious Metal in Blnssachasetts Hills. SntUfariEf.D, Mass., January L Franklin county farmers are considerably excited over the discovery of gold among the Euckland Hills, and some are so enthusiastic as to pre dict an old-fashioned California boom. The discovery has attracted the attention of ex perts. The principal find is at an elevation of 1,500 feet above the mean sea level, and the de posits aro found in quartz veins, or reefs, traversing blnc-slato rock in a northerly and southerly direction, nearly parallel with tho glacial stria on the surface rock. They have increased In thickness as they nave been de veloped below the surface, the dip of the veins being very nearly perpendicular. Prepared for the Worst. From the Chicago News. J General Harrison insured his life on Satur day for 510,000. This is good evidence that ho is about to make public the names of the mem bers of his Cabinet, and that he wants to be pre pared for the worst. One of the Triumphs of tho Campaign. From the Chicago News. As one of the notable triumphs of the late campaign of education it may be mentioned that the country has learned to pronounce Chairman Quay's name properly. Colonel John C. Dent. St. Louis, January 1. ColonelJohn C. Dent, brother-in-law of General Grant, died at his homo in Carthage, Mc, early this morning, aged 73 years. ETIQUETTE FOR NEW YEAR'S DAY. Do not leave tho Jack of spades in your min ister's card receiver. Nose of New York's best people ever go so far as to make calls in Chicago and Boston on tho same day. If you expect to get homo straight eschew such combinations as ice cream and lobster saiau, ausinwe ana ciuer, cnampagne anu oia rye. It is not necessary for you to wear a dress suit on New Year's morning when you call on your landlord to ask him to swear off 10 per cent of your rent. Do not carry a lunch basket with you either to shame those who receive but do not furnish spread, or to carry away what you cannot eat from the table of the lavish. Never mistake a cab for your own house and go to sleep in it. A cab at S2 an hour is more expensive and not so luxurious a lodging place as the Windsor Hotel Neveb mako more than 400 calls. Remem ber the limitations of society. The man who knows more than 400 swell people cannot be a member of the McGallnster circle. Do not go about dropping potatoes in the has kets on fashionable bell pulls. Because fash ionable people are rnde enongh to hang out baskets is no excuse for your wasting so much good provender. Do not give yourself away on your one hun dred and twenty-first call by asking the youne lady who is entertaining you alone to introduce you to the other lady sitting beside her. If you so far forget yourself as to do this laugh tha error off, and expatiate upon the mistakes astigmatism leads a man into. Xew York Evening Sun, CUKIODS COMNSATIOHS, Strawberry plants are In bloom in the) Tallahassee country, Fix A man down in Whitfield County, La., has not slept for the last six weeks. A shingle nail was fonnd in a perfectly fresh egg recently by a farmer near Niles. Mich. Nine knots mads in a black woolen thread formerly served as a charm in the case of a sprain. The Czar of Bnssia recently picked op 700 pounds of steel in a PetershofC gun factory. The workers cheered. In Paris, France, a big company has a monopoly of the funerals. This company handles 60,000 bodies yearly. A man can hire a honse in Japan, keep two servants, and live on the fat of the land all for a little over $20 a month. In the Faroe islands there is a supersti tion that seals cast off their skins every ninth month and assume the human sbape. A prominent citizen of Fresno, CaL, has started a 'possum farm. He has procured a carload of the animals from Missouri. The number of muscles in an elephant's trunk, according to London medical authori ties, is 33,122, and he has use for each and every ono of them. Some of the brick houses built in En gland 200 years ago are so cemented together that the walls have to be blown down with gun powder when it is desired to erect new build ings. A grizzly bear that weighed 1,700 pounds was killed at Big Hom Basin, Wyoming Territory, a short time ago. One bnndred and nine shots were fired from nine rifles before the brute was killed. Mr. Houston, of Sanford, Fla., has an orange which measures UxM inches In cir cumference and weighs 1$ pounds. He has shipped a great many boxes of this variety which sold at JO per box, running mostly 96 to tho box. A new dynamo with a capacity to run eight incandescent lights has been invented by a Vermont electrician. It has some novel f eat ture3, one being a slow current obviating all danger, while one light ran be shut off without affectiqg the others on the same current. A recent novelty is an invention de signed to facilitate the manufacture of dur able bootheels. By its use a heel-shaped leath er shell 13 made and filled with a solid body. It hns also a novel device for pressing the leather into the approximaie, form and for molding and working it. Haymaking in December was the novel sight seen in the meadows back of the Pali sades, near New Durham, N. Y., the other day. The gras3 thus cut at Christmas is marsh grass, and it can be gathered, oecause of the softness of the soil, only after the ground is frozen. Tho hay is used for bedding and packing. There was a terrible ending to the Christmas festivities at Austin, Mo. At an amateur performance of a drama, in the course of which the heavy villain commits suicide, Walter Webb, a farmer, took the part. His foot caught under a loose board on the stage and he fell to the floor. The knife pierced his heart, killing him instantly. Colonel W. E. Earle, of Washington, has presented to the State of South Carolina the great seal of the Confederate States of America. The seal is of polished bronze three inches in diameter, bearing on one side the in scriptiont'The Confederate States of America; 22d February, 1862. Deo Vindice." And on the other an equestrian statue of Washington. Zebulon Hancox, aged 79 years, of Stonington, Conn., was jilted by a village maiden many years ago, and since that time he has lived in a little hut, cooking his own food and wearing rags. By fishing he has accumu lated money sufficient to build nine good houses, which he rents, and 10,000 more which is lodged in the Stonington Savings Bank. He never purchases anything he can make. But tons on his clothing are whittled fiom pine wood; he weighs his fish in wooden Dalances of his own making, and in catching eels he uses a wooden spear. His yearly expenses average less than S.U It is not often that a fire is put ont with wine. This was done last week at Kreuznach on the occasion of afire which broke out at night in the bouse of a large wine merchant, soon cnvelopinc the whole building. Some CO hogsheads of wine in the store could not only not be saved, but burst, and their contents ran into a ditch in the garden behind the house. Here the firemen placed their engines, with which they poured streams of wine upon the burning building, and succeeded in getting the fire nnder control. The fumes of the wine were so strong that the firemen had to be repeatedly relieved. Berry, the executioner, after the recent hanging at Worcester, England, visited Kid derminster, where he was feted in a remarka ble manner. He visited several public houses ana at one was induced to make a speech to a large number of persons. He spoke of various executions carried out by him, and moralized upon his public calling. He freely distributed his visiting cards, bearing his name and pro fession as public executioner." One publican offered him 5 to lecture in the eveninc on his . pnblic duties. He conversed freely with all, and was f jllowed about by a considerable num ber of persons, members of the corporation were introduced to him, and he held quite a levee at one hostelry. Horace Vernet, the artist, was going from Versailles to Paris by railway. In the same compartment with him were two ladies whom he had never seen before, but who were evidently acquainted with him. They exam ined him minutely and commented freely upon his martial bearing, his hale old age, the style of his dress, etc. They continued their annoy ance until finally the painter determined to put an end to the persecution. A3 the train passed through the tunnel of St. Cloud the three travelers were wrapped in complete darkness. Vernet raised the back of his hand to his mouth and kissed it twice violently. On emerging from the obscurity he found that the ladies had withdrawn their attention from bun and were accusing each other of having been kissed by a man in the dark. Presently they arrived at Paris and Vernet, on leaving them, said: "Ladies, I shall be puzzled all my life by the inquiry, which of these two ladies was it that kissed me?" FUIT MEN'S FANCIES. Why Harvard is Popular. Hastings Hall, '91 Do you know why Harvard's getting to be such a great Institution of learning Jack-Go-Easy-Jfo; why? H. H. 'Cause every freshman brings In soma knowledge, and no senior ever takes any out; it's bound to grow. Uarxani Lampoon. One Quality Lacking. Popinjay Blob- -son. your wife Is like a Damascus blade. She Is so keenl BIohson-Thanks; hut I am sorry to say she lacks one quality quite as essential to the Damas cus blade. Fopinjay-Indeed! TVhatUlt? ' Blobson Good temper. Burlington Free Prut, Scented the Battle. First Stranger (in street car) I see you In these Icars quite regu larly, but seldom at this hour. Second Stranger-No, this is an extra trip. My wife wished me to go to a store and match trim mings for her. "Ah! Glad I met you. Here's my card. lama divorce lawyer."-JVw lork H'ty. Slisplaced Sympathy. Citizen Why aro you In this condition? Tramp It Is nut long to tell, sir. I can't live with my wife. Citizen (filled with sympathy, because he has Jnst had a qnarrel with his own) Poor man I I deeply reel ror yon. litre's s quarter, leu me why you can't live with your wife "Uecause she won't support me. Ta, ta!" Sew Xork Weekly. A Special Inducement. Friend (to very sick youth) Charley, you must brace up and get well. I have some glorious news for you. Sick youth (feebly) What is It' 9t yrlend Your Aunt Minerva told me personally. rf that If you'd only try and get weU she would ' leave you every dollar she's got In theworld. " Sick youth (with more strength) Is that so, 3 Fred? Did you ask her how much she is worthT Ek The Epoch. ,TO A Good Reason. '"Excuse me," said tho 4 parcel man, "but I left a package here about ant-4 .. kfk ..I... ,., ,-.. F...OT, n.llV.fM ...tw. 'L. nonr agu nuicu buuuiu iiaic w. v..v ua - , door." "Yes sir, "replied the girl, "butyou can't gets It just yet." "Why!" "Because the lady hasn't had time to undo It and examine the contents. Please call In about i hlfnhnnr mtroit Free Pre3t. i The Shadow oi Coming Events. "What T an elegant gentleman that was with whom yoa parted in the depot to-day, Arthur!" !H "Very nice, llella." "He said as he took your hand: TVe shall meet In that bourne from whence no Americans re- ,., turn?' Where was he going, Arthur?" , . To Canada, my dear. Be was running off with ' ihi funils of the Home Savings Institution." " " - -: That handsome young gentleman? And.prayA what made him speak his parting response?" --t 3e "Oh, he knew that I have Just been electedS Cashier or the spread eagle National Bank.; Hltv'fl remarks were merely anticipatory; nothing more, I assure you, Bella." DraWi Magax M.r.'MS 4 -