K'lllFrV v ' v T-i i.-Ne eror , na.Tv p JgJtfUJiJ. ESTABLISHED FEBRUARY 8; ISIS. m V Vot 3i JJo. 33. Entered u Httsourg row- S tfilce, November 11. 1SS7, seoona-ciass matter. ', Business Office 97 and GO Fifth Avenue. 4 News Booms and Publishing House75, F- 77 and 79 Diamond Street. This paper having mora than Double the f clJtnlatlonorany other in the Suite o'nulde c) Philadelphia, its advantages as an adver tising medium will be apparent. j TEEMS OF THE DISPATCH. 9. rosTAcr razx rn tub umtis etatts. t DAILY DisrATCH, One Tear. t 8 00 Djult Dispatch, Per Quarter................ Daily Dispatch, One Month . '" Dailt Dispatch, Including Sunday, one Tear Dailt Dispatch, Including Sunday, per quarter IS0 Daily Dispatch, Including Sunday, ens month - " Ecxdat Dispatch, one year. SW Veekly Dispatch, one year Is5 i The Daily Dispatch 1$ delivered by carriers at Scents per week, orlnclndlngtheSundayedlUon, i sta) cents per -week. PITTSBURG. TUESDAY. JAN. 1, 1889. f TWELVE PAGES I THE OLD AHD HEW YEARS. ?' The world last night took its farewell of 1888, and this morning extends a cordial t -welcome to 1889. The Old Year was not a bad one. It had many good points, and leaves ns more prosperous, richer and, let us hope, wiser and letter than it found us. To Pittsburg especially, it has proved kinder than it promised to be when it came in, surrounded by threats of strikes and the overhanging specter of tariff reduction. If j) the New Year surpasses its promises as its predecessor did, it will be a brighten in our business annals. The salient points in our local develop ment, both as they have been realized in the past year and as they are hoped for in the new one, are strikingly illustrated in the cartoon which, appears on the first page of The Dispatch. The magnificent achieve ments of labor, supplied with material by capital, appear not only in the bright pictures of coming things, but in those which have been relegated to desuetude in the last twelve months. The artist has represented 1888 as largely destructive in its results. It is true that it has in its records a bursted cast-steel gun, the old horse cars set down among the relics of a past age, saloon back doors and pool rooms closed, an old city government cast off and a Democratic administration cut short. But we must credit 1883 with works of con struction also. It gives us a splendid Court House, a new city charter, the first cable line in Pittsburg, and a Ecpublican na tional victory. These, however, on Edward Everett Hale's principle of "looking forward and not back, may reasonably be cast in the shade by the details of the bright picture which, as typi fied by the artist, hangs over Pittsburg as the good things anticipated for our city in 1889. The new year is expected to give us in complete form cable or electric transit to all parts of the city, a splendid exposition building, Allegheny's library building from Mr. Carnegie's generosity and although this is asking unprecedented progress from the year and the Government archi tects the new postoffice building ready for us. If 1889 'supplements these achieve- merits with the general growth and pros perity that were characteristic of 1888, it will fulfil its bright promises and realize the wish which is appropriate to the season. In the hope that the blessings of material and moral growth may be enjoyed by Pitts burg as a whole, and by all its readers in dividually The Dispatch hopes that both the community and the individuals, collectively and separately, may enjoy a Happy New Year. ORPHAN LABOE. The disclosures made from Findlay of the chipping of boys from Eastern orphan asylnms to be employed in the glass facto ries reveals a new phase of child labor that evokes a rather indiscriminate condemna tion, but which, however, requires investi gation and regulation. That juvenile labor is required about glass factories is well known, and that orphan boys should have a chance to earn their living, is not per se an abuse. But the orphans should be guar anteed education, care and security against overwork; while juvenile labor should not be permitted except these requirements are satisfied. The circumstances of this case give us little reason to expect that they are provided in the case of the orphan boys shipped by round lots to Findlay, and the State should take it upon itself to see that the business is either stopped or strictly regu lated. The glass factory is a hard enough school for boys who have homes and par ents of their own; and charitable institu tions should direct their efforts rather to finding homes for their charges than to pushing them unprotected into factory life. WILDCAT BANKING. The failure of several private banking louses in Nebraska recently, calls renewed attention to the weakness and vices of wild cat banking. The insolvency among this class of bankers is not due to any lack of profitable business. On the other hand, the 1 class of money-lending which private banks ' can practice in Nebraska, and from na tional banks are excluded, yields higher rates of interest than any other department .. - of the banking business. It is notorious , that the great burden of the Nebraska farmer is the high rate which he must pay ji! . on mortgage loans. Eight to ten per cent ra'are ordinary rates; but by the time that the banker has collected his commissions and charged his fees for examination of titles, the farmer who borrows money frequently has to pay 12 to 15 per cent. ' It is natural to suppose that such profits would result in wealth and solvency among the bankers who get the high rates; and it does so in many cases. But, on the other hand, the temptations to embark in the business with little capital, or to expand credits beyond-the limits of safe abanking,are eo many and so entirely unrestrained by Slate regulation that wildcat banks have become numerous, and are now showing the inevitable percentage of mortality. Such failures show the value of a strictly regu- ' -Jatedsystemlikethat which has stood the test bt twenty-nve years unaer tne national DDansung law. 9 GIELS WHO CATCH BTTBGLABS. Some time ago the efficiency of a Swedish rirl in 2Jew York who caught a burglar in? Tjlier room and held him captive till the po- jce arrived, attracted public attention. ler feat was rivaled the other day by a voung woman oi cnicago, wnose name jf Emilia Kunert, indicates German lor Scandinavian origin, ana woo on I discovering a burglar emerging from the 'house where she was employed as a dsmes- rtic. gave chase and ran him down into the 'custody of an officer. These two cases seem i ' . . , - - . . r -', , ., - - ,!-.-... ..- , i i "flffsHlsr to leave the honors decidedly on the side of the immigrant domestic. Society is in need of mora such girls. "Whether they come from Germany or Sweden by steerage passage or even with their fares paid by prearrangement, the presence of do mestics who can catch thieves, and turn them over to custody, will fill a long-felt want. Possibly the burglarious industry may file objections to this class of immi grants; but the owners of houses will rally to their support. Their value is not necessa rily confined to their own services. They "can not only catch thieves themselves, but the doctrine of heredity allows us to hope that when they marry they may rear sons who in the next generation may become po licemen who will catch thieves if they are not demoralized by political pulls in the meantime. The foreign domestic of thief taking proclivities will become immensely popular, and her achievements may yet go to the height of proving that the best thing this country can do is to fill up its police systems with recruits of her courage and fidelity. A TEDIOUS BIT OP IJTIGATIOH. It is difficult to see how Judge Siowe could have done otherwise than dismiss the application of Mr. Hartupee for a re-opening of the award against him in the arbitra tion of.his difficulty with the city about thej water works' engines contract. The ground cited that ex-City Attorney Bigelow had declared to various persons that he per suaded Mr. Lowry, the Arbitrator, to change his decision from one in favor of Hartupee to one adverse, seems in itself tolerably light "Unless there was something behind it in the way of fraud or an improper sort of persuasion, the thought would occur that it was part of Mr. Bigelow's duty as at torney for the city to get a verdict for his client. But as Mr. Bigelow himself took the stand and denied having cot Mr. Xowry to change the award, the judgment of the Court, that such evidence would not war rant a re-opening of the case, was inevitable. It is now fifteen years since the engines were ordered, and during that period the contract has been a constant source of bitter controversy and litigation. No citizen will desire that injustice should be done the con tractor; but few will wish that, unless for very clear cause shown, the case so tediously examined in the courts should be started afresh. ITIDICATIKG BIG BUSINESS. The index of business afforded by the Clearing House exchanges makes a most gratifying exhibit for the year just closed. The total for 1887 was, we believe, the largest in the history of the Clearing House up to that time, being 5511,010,701. But the transactions which produce the checks passing through the Clearing House gained even on that total by 14 per cent, reaching the aggregate of $581,580,614. This indi cates a steady expansion in the volume of trade that speaks volumes for the growth and energy of our city's commerce. It is also noticeable that the speculative ele ment which swells the volume of exchanges in other cities was smaller in this year's total than for several years past No city xan show an aggregate which more nearly represents actual ana legitimate transac tions than the total of Pittsburg's Clearing House exchanges. THE CONSERVATIVE POLICY. The report of the member of the miners' union who was sent to Texas to investigate the miners' strike and to report whether it is permissible for miners from this section to accept work there, will give a shock to the generally-received opinion that labor organizations always support the cause of strikers irrespective of the justice or wroDg of the strike. Mr. Benny went to Texas to investigate whether the strike, on account of which Pennsylvania miners were warned to keep away, was justifiable or not. Find ing that it was not, and that it involves only a small number of miners, while the development of mines offers employment to a large number of new miners, he recom mends that union miners in this vicinity wishing work accept it in the Texas mines. Such a course will be based on reliable information and sound policy. Union men need no urging to support strikers who are resisting injustice. Indeed the outside notion has a foundation tothisextentthatthe union spirit predisposes workingmen to sus pect that there is wrong on the part of the employers wherever there is a strike. In vestigation having shown the contrary in this case, the miners take the very wise conrse of refusing to be bound by a need less and ill-lounded strike. That is un doubtedly the right policy. It is hard enough to support the necessary conflicts without accepting the burden of the un necessary and foolish sort. DOESN'T HEED A DICTIONARY. The gifts which have been showered upon General Harrison since his election have not been notable in the main for usefulness. There is nothing particularly1 useful in a jack rabbit, for instance, even to a man who passionately admires that limber animal. But at first sight the two latest presents to reach the President-elect are at least useful. They are sumptuously bound copies of Worcester's and "Webster's Unabridged Dictionaries. The fact that General Harri son has at last received a present which is not a positive nuisance is important enough in itself, but the significance of the gift transcends the mere matter of its utility. The motives of the publishers who sent the dictionaries were probably compound half patriotism and half a keen appreciation of the benefits of advertising. But underlying, as it were, these motives, there would seem to exist a new comprehension of Presidental duties. The publishers would seem to imply that a President of the United States cannot get along without the largest dic tionary published. And this implication doubtless has its origin in the part that the dictionary and the encyclopedia have played in Mr. Cleveland's administration. Presidental messages during the last four years have abounded in long and unusual words which had plainly been extracted for the occasion from an unabridged dictionary. "We trust, however, if the publishers hope to eee their dictionaries dominate the liter ature of General Harrison when he becomes President, that they will be disappointed. Ten-barrelled words and cunningly con trived combinations of them are not wanted in the epistles of aPresident to the American people. "Wisdom is most sure of reaching its proper destination in small verbal pack ages. On the whole we think the publishers would have done better to have given their precious volumes to President Cleveland. His dictionary must be nearly worn out. The Hartupee tlaim, crushed 'to earth once more in the county courts, will rise again by an appeal to the Supreme Court. The ante-inauguration labors 0 the President-elect may be conceded to be severe and onerous; bnt .there does not seem to be much doubt as to the fact that Mr! Bussill Harri son is having a good time.- On going to New York he is made the recipient ofjtll the attentions from the hospitable or the politic, has been dined by he whole list of aspirants from Charles Emory Smith up to Morton, Childs and Wanamaker, and has the entree behind the scenes at the bur lesque opera. There seems to ,be no doubt that Mr. Harrison, junior will enjoy the next four years very much, if the fatal dis position of President's sons to put both feet in it, does not necessitate his retirement to private life. Mayor Gleasok, of Long Island City, who has again been exhibiting his ability to tear up railroads that illegally encroach on public property, would not be a good Mayor to run for President, from the corporation standpoint. But the people might find some attractions in that sort of a candidate. Bra compositor's error, overlooked in proof-reading, the phrase "A New Holy Family," which was written as a heading to the excellent sermon -by Bev. George Hodges, of Calvary Episcopal Church, in yesterday's DisrATCH, appeared in print as a ''A New Holy Trinity." Of course the context at once showed the error. Bev. Mr. Hodges, we can well understand, must have felt all the resources of his charity drawn upon by such a blunder; but there is also the comforting reflection on the other hand, that The Dispatch compositors have been the means of sending, without serious error, many other of his admirable sermons to hundreds of thousands of readers who de light in and profit by them weekly. These may be something in the idea that Boulanger's " divorce suit is intended to carry out the parallel between Napoleon and himself. Bonaparte and Boulanger are alike in commencing with a "B," and if the latter hero divorces his wife, there will be another point of resemblance. The preliminary announcements of Mrs. Potter's appearance as Cleopatra indicate that the poetic and tragic capabilities of M. "Worth's version of the play are very strik ing. It will be the greatest exhibition of dramatic millinery ever made. There is reason to question its entire accuracy as ap plied to the character of Cleopatra; but "Worth's version of Shakespeare will probably-prove a great success in this age of the dressmaker's drama. The panel of jurors which contains the names of some of the men who are under in dictment and to be tried by the juries of which they are presumably members, is the last idiosyncrasy of our, jury system which calls attention to the necessity of reform. It iinteresiing and encouraging to find in the New York papers articles headed "A Great Negro." This looks like a recogni tion of progress on the part of the African race, that should be pleasant to both white and black. "When it is further discovered that the great negro consists of a prize fighter of African descent it will be further apparent that the achievements of this col ored citizen just hits the New York idea of greatness.' It is very convenient to put the responsi bility for the new House rule to prevent filibustering on "suspension days," on the back of the Oklahoma bill; but is it quite certain that the Pacific Railroad bills have nothing to do with it? Mb. James Russell Lowell an nounces that he has nothing to say about politics, which causes a Western cotem porary to renew the accusation that he is a mugwump. Mr. Lowell has not denied his mugwumpery that we have heard of; bnt it is no more than discreet to note that a very large number of politicians have nothing to say just at present, whom the wildest scandals never accused of independence. The" rise in gas shares may perhaps be due to the growing conviction that there is more gas in the vicinity of Pittsburg than it was the fashion to think, a few months ago. That, at least, is the sanguine and hopeful .theory to take of it. The drop in the price of high wines has taken place as announced and the Whisky Trust is throwing away its money in the endeavor to freeze out the independ ent concerns. After the'squeeze is over, the trust organs will adopt the usual policy of holding up the low prices as an example of the ruinous effect of competition. Tiie indication that. the Legislature is going to follow in the steps of its predeces sors, is very strong when arrangements are reported for a recess before the body has convened. The preliminary injunction is taking a hand in the making of gas rates at New Castle also. Would it not have been just as well in the long run for the corporations to haTve permitted competition to fix the rates rather than to let that question resolve itself into a football between the courts and the corporations? PEES0NAL PACTS AND FANCIES. Me. Beiqht believes in phrenology. The "Bantam of Berlin" forbids his serv ants to wear mustaches. Ex-Senator Rollins, of New Hampshire, is steadily regaining health. Mr. Gladstone says he can quote from memory any page of Homer of which the first line is given to him. Mr. Alvan Clark has gone to Denver to arrange for the construction of a telescope with a 20-inch lens for the college there. Kabaoeokgvttch, Pretender to the Ser vian throne, has come into a fortune. Bnt he would doubtless exchange his bank notes for a crown piece. Rider Haggard is very much annoyed at the attacks of critics on his recent works. But he has had his revenge. The critics had to read his book. The most prominent brigand in China, Ho Ta Lao-hu, has been captured and killed. He was a giant, being 7 feet 2 inches in heightand broad in proportion. He had been concerned in a great many robberies and a large number of murders. LI Hung! Chang, Viceroy of China, made up his mind that the burly ruffian mnst bo checked in his career. Ho Ta Lao-hu made a bold fight against the troops sent to arrest him, but was fatally wounded during the skirmish. AN interesting account is given of the last, hours of Prjevalsky, the Russian explorer and "annexation intriguer," by his comrade, Mr. Bobarowsky. Knowing that death was Inevit able, ho made some final arrangements, and asked whether he would live till the riorning. Being reassured by the doctor on this head, he remarked: "Then the rest to-morrow; we will send telegrams. One request only, do not for get that I desire strenuously to be buried on the banks of Issik Koul, In the full costume of the expedition. Let them photograph me for my family, with the Lancaster gun, which I leave to Bobarowsky." Prjevalsky then told the doctor not to hide from him the approach of death, which he feared not at all, having often enough been face to face with death be fore. "He scolded us," says Bobarowsky, "and calfed us women-folk, when he saw us with tears in onr eyes." Next day he was delir ious. He became stronger, and had brief lucid intervals. Suddenly he sprang out of bed and stood upright, supported by those'pres ent After remaining thns for a few moments, he said: "Now I am going to lie down." He was helped back to bed, sighed deeply several times and died. THE TOPICAL TALKER. HUGH ADO ABOUT NOTHING. ' AT THE THEATERS. GHOST TOUED THE BELLS. CURIOUS C0U1V-, jSk It la Really a Shame to Tell All These Secret About Lovely Woman. Two servants of Irish birth lived with a family in the suburbs of Pittsburg for nearly a dozen years, and the other day one of them died. Naturally the other was in great grief; she is a big-hearted woman and a good deal of a character. "In all the years." she said to a friend who was condoling with her.'Tve lived In the house with Maggie I've never heard her say a single word behind my back, never a word tu And she hadn't the least idea of committing a "bull" when she said it either. V Mb. Eve Have you packed that trunk yetT Mrs. Eve Yes, dear everything's in it but the Bible. Mr. Eve The BibleT What do you meanT Mrs. Eve I wonldn't like to lose a trunk without a Bible in it I can always identify It by the Bible, you know. '. What won't girls try in the attempt to achieve beautyT A young women of Pittsburg who has enough good looks, if she only knew it, to make her way in the world, has been trying all sorts of queer and quack receipts for beauty. In par ticular she has set her heart and her mind and her hands upon making her flesh soft and vel vety, a quality which can be no more acquired by nostrums than by Act of Congress. But with perseverance worthy of a better cause, this damsel has been toiling off and on to give her chocks and neck and hands the velvety softness of the peach. Generally, I have been able to detect the course of some ridiculous treatment by the greater or less resemblance her skin bore to that of the leopard, who, sensible beast that he is, rejoices in his spots. The last experiment, I only know by hearsay, has frightened Made moiselle so badly that I guess sho'll hereafter leave her complexion and her epidermis alone. In the strictest confidence I may tell you that the last experiment was a beautifully simple thing. Before retiring for the night Made moiselle applied, to her face, neck and hands poultices of bread and milk. She slept, all night through how she did it I don't know with these sloppy embrace ments upon her. In the morning she aroso and ran to the glass the first thing to see the won ders worked by the poultices. There-wero wonders, indeedl But not what she expected. Her skin had shriveled up; it looked liko a piece of corrugated canvas, or zinc roofing painted white. In fact she reminded herself of "She" after the final passage through tho fountain of fire. But, unlike "She," she recovered her pristine looks. And Bhe has foresworn poultices for ever. Beware thou also in time! V "Come to your wedding, my dear boy T" said the undertaker to a young man in the shadow of matrimon j; "you bet I will. And, say, when you die I'll give you the finest funeral you ever sawl" V lira Pittsburg barber's, or I should sayton sorial parlors, the other day a fair friend of mine settled herself calmly down to have her bang trimmed. There is nothing they say that is the only possible authorities, the ladies say nothing so intensely gratifying as to have an unruly, tangled up, ill-tempered, uneven bang reuueed to orderly comeliness by the scissors of an artistic barber. In the ecstacy of passing through this operation my fair friend happened to look from her com partment or screened stateroom, in which each customer is secluded at this particular shop I mean parlor into the mirror in front of her. She was astonished at what she saw. The glass showed in a stateroom, at the other end of the parlor, a woman who was also In the hands of a barber, but she seemed to be endur ing the most excruciating pain. Her features were twisted as if by acute physical torture. It was really impossible to look at unmoved. I i "What, in the name of goodnesst" said my fair friend to the tonsorial professor, who was respectfully clipping the left flank of her volu minous bang, "what, in the name of gracious, is that woman doing!" "Oh, that's a lady who comes here ev'ry four or five weeks, ma'am," the professor answered in a whisper, "to have de white hairs pulled outen her head. It's pow'ful hard on her but, bress you, she have come for years now." "Don't the white hairs grow In again!" "Ob course dey do, ma'am and more fre quenter as dey are pulled ut!" A TILLAGE FOE THE INDIGENT. A Southern Town Where Accomodation! Cost Nothing: nt All. CHABLESTOif, December 31. Over 60 indi gent elderly persons were housed to-night in the Euston Home village, in the suburbs of the city. William Euston, a wealthy furniture dealer, who died nearly half a century ago, left all his property to the city for the purpose of establishing a home modeled after that in Canterbury, England, bis birthplace. Nothing was done about it until the administration of Mayor Courtenay, about nine years ago, when steps were taken to execute the trust Ar rangements were made with the surviving heirs of the testator, and about 200.000 was placed at the disposal of the trustees, the village was begun and 20 substantial cottages were built Most of them are now occupied. The village will consist of 40 cottages. The cottages are of brick and granite, and are pro vided with all the latest impiovements in the way of heating, lighting and sanitary arrange ments. The inmates are supplied with fuel, light, water and other conveniences, have a pension and a plot of ground for cultivation. "When the applicants received their appoint ment1!, the truckmen got up a corner, charging 2 a load for moving the furniture. J. M. Con nelly, a prominent undertaker, at once offered the use of bis vehicles free of charge and broke up the trust He moved upward of 20 of the inmates withont charge. The Euston Home is one of the largest charitable institutions in-the South. It will, when completed, afford com fortable homes to upward of 200 indigent per sons. P0ETY TEAES ON THE STAGE. A Yankee Who Has Driven a Little Bed Conch Sinco 1S4S. BANGOR, Me., December 3L Harvey Ward, who drives the stage between East Eddington and Bangor, is the oldest stage driver in the whole Eastern country. His route Is only a dozen miles long, but It takes him into a country where the railroad and telegraph are not yet known,and where the graceful deer and lumbering bear cross tho road eveiy day where, in fact a person might easily imagine himself a thousand miles from any city. Harvey always eats bis Thanksgiving dinner in Bangor, and at the same hotel, and on last Thanksgiv ing Day he drove up to the Windsor for his fortieth consecutive annual feast in the identi cal red coach which he drew dp at the same door on Thanksgiving Day, 184S. Trouble for New York Judges. Trom toe New York World. J Exactly how to sentence a criminal to death under the new law is at present puzzling the Criminal Court Judges. The following form possesses the practical value of being terse, scientific and to the point: "I therefore sentence you to be taken to Sing Sing prison, there to re main confined until the day of , 183, between the hours of and A. jr., when you will be taken to a cell specially designed for that purpose, be forcibly seated in a properly insulated chair, with one eheophore placed upon the junction of your frontal and , parietal sutures and the other just over your medulla oblongata, and then and there made conductor for an alternating current of LSOO volts in tensity from a dynamo constructed for that specific purpose, said current to pass through the ganglia and vasomotor centers of your cerebral tissue until you are dead, dead, dead, and may the Lord have mercy on what is left of you." No(Well Named. From the Chlcaeo Times.: "Canada" Is said to be a Portuguese word signifying "there is nothing here." Then they had better call it something else. The United States has several citizens over there who went away in a hurry. We know there is some thing there. DEATHS OP A DAY. Charles Maxwell Allen. Bzrmcda, December 31. Charles Maxwell Al len, the United States Consul for Bermuda, died at his residence, "Wlstowe" Flatts, Monday, De cember 24. Judge C. B. Sleeper. BaAiXZBD, MrKir., December 31, Judge C'B. Sleeper, or the fifteenth Judicial-district died this morning. He has been prominent in illnne- ota politics for many years. Washington Pastors Don'? Consider tho In auguration Ball Much of a Dance. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. Washington, December 3L A vast deal of amusement has been createdhere by the sudden awakening of the out-of-town clergy to the sin fulness of tbe inauguration balL Presidents Garfield and Hayes were both good Christians, but not even the clergy or the members of their church thought of criticising the ball or find ing fault with their attendance upon it Tbe truth is the so-called ball cannot properly be called a ball. Very few of the great throng which invariably attends this President's first night care to dance or find opportunity to dance. It is really the President's first public reception. Presidents who have been ac customed to dance have sometimes led the dance, but this has happened rarely. Of the society crushes that occur during tbe season in Washington the inauguration ball is by all edds the most harmless. This is so well known to tbe people at Washington that the local clergy have never thought of preaching against the practice, and because of their neglect they have been condemned by their outside brethren for their supposed encourage ment of Immorality. Rev. Dr. Bartlett now of tbis city, who has twice had charge of churches which were attended by President Harrison, declares that he does not find anything sinful in the inauguration ball, and is of the opinion that Mr. Harrison will not choose this occasion to administer a rebuke to persons who differ with himself in regard to dancing. Tbe custom of the ball originated far back in the early days of the Republic, and is looked upon rather as an occasion associated with that 'memorable day than as an opportunity for giddy people to gratify their love of dancing. B0LITAE CAN'T BLEEP. Jealousy and Railroad Trains Make an Elephant's Life miserable. Philadelphia, December 31. Bolivar, the mammoth elephant cannot sleep. He is troubled with the worst form of insomnia, and the authorities at the Zoological Garden and his keeper have made a critical investigation, and have arrived at the conclusion that it is due to the continual rattle and noise of the trains of the Pennsylvania Railroad, which roll within 50 yards of Bolivar's domicile. The old fellow has grown quite crusty from loss of sleep, in spite of tbe fact that ho has been on tbe road with circus companies for the past 18 years. "Bolivar has not slept a wink since he has been here," said Head Keeper Byrne yes tcrday. "He has not laid down once since bis arrival. Elephants generally lie down and take a nap of three hours duration every night, hat poor Bolivar has refused thus far to rest his weary limbs while tbe noise keeps up. Once in a long while he closes his eyes for a few minutes, and then with a great dignity opens them." Bolivar's keepers also affirm that there is an other reason for his insomnia. He has two room-mates Empress and Jennie. The latter has been very jealous ot Bolivar since his arrival because he seems to show a greater amount of affection for the Empress. Every chance Jennie gets she buts against good- natured Bolivar, and acts in a very rude way toward him. This family trouble has annoyed, the newcomer considerably, and he seems to fear lest if in an unguarded moment he allows himself to be wafted into tbe balmy arms of gomnus Jennie might be influenced by the green snake of jealousy to play sad havoc on his carcass. GE0WTH OP THE NEW SOUTH. A Review of the Phenomenal Progress of the Past Year. Baltimore, December 3k The Mamifao turert' Record, in its annual review of the South's industrial progress, shows that the capital represented by new mining and manu facturing enterprises organized in 1S83 was 5103,800,000. During 1SS8 there were organized in the South 3,618 new enterprises, against 3,430 In 1SS7, and 1,575 in 1886, a total for three years of 8,623, In addition to which there were hundreds of small enterprises, such as grist mills, gins, etc., not counted in this enumeration. In the South, since 1880, 20,000 miles of new railroad have been built and over STOO.OOO.OOO have been spent in building new roads and im proving old ones. Cotton mills have increased from 180, with 16,222 looms and 713,989 spindles in 1880. to over 300 mills with about 38,000 looms and 1,800,000 spindles, while many mills'are uu der construction, and many old ones being enlarged. The value of cotton goods made in the Month was $21,000,000 in 1880, and nearly $50,000,000 for 1888. In 18E0 there were 40 cotton seed oil mills in the 8outh. now there are about 160, with about !12,O0O,O0O Invested. The value of the South's agricultural pro ducts for 1883 were about SSO0,00O,O0O, against $571,000,000 in 1879. The value of the live stock is now $575,000,000, while in 1879 it was $391, 400,000. Tne production of grain rose from 431, 074.630 bushels lnn?80 to 626,305,000 bushels in 1SS7, an increase ot nearly 200,000,000 bushels. CLOSING UP THE IEAE. Lively Scenes on the Floor of the Chicago Board of Trade. Chicago, December 31. The boys on the Board of Trade celebrated the close of busi ness for the year in a way that would have made a band ef Apache Indians wild with envy, and sent cold chills down the backs of the howling terrors of the New York Stock Exchange. Plug hats were knocked off and kicked to pieces. Neatly dressed traders were pelted with flour and rushed and tumbled about until their clothes were literally torn off them. Toy cannons! were fired, and many a nervous man thought the Anarchists were try ing to blow upthe building. At length President Hutchinson read the rioters a lesson. He said that their actions would disgrace even a crowd of toughs, and were decidedly out of place in a representa tive body of business men. Not only that, but it was an injustice to men who were trying to do bnsincss and close up their trades for the year. He wanted the nonsense stooped at once, and said he would suspend for" a week any member guilty of disobedience. COOLED HIS AEDOE. A Lover Backs Oat Because His Affianced Kissed Other Men. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. New Yoke, December 3k Patrick Murri gan loved Mary Fitzimmons six months ago, and he promised to marry her. He bought her a sealskin sacque, a pair of silk stockings and some jewelry. They intended to be married yesterday. Mrs. Fitzimmons hired a hall, a priest and bought a fruit cake. All these details were related to-day in a com plaint against Murrigan for breach of promise, for be did not come to the wedding. He said he found out at the last minute that Mary let other men kiss her while she was engaged to him. Ho is in jail . ALDEEMANIC TACTICS. Opponenti of a Scheme Pat Up a Job on Its Friends. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. N rw Yoee, December 31 The old year went out with a big hullabaloo in the City Council to-day. Tbe Aldermen who do not wish an electric motor in Fourth avenue put up a job on tbe Aldermen who do. They declared tbe meeting illegal, because to-morrow is the regu lar day for holding it They then scurried out of the room, without giving tbe friends of tbe electric motor time to argue with them. The Council was left with no quorum. The Bergeant-at-Arms tried to bring back the bolt ers, but they frightened him off with bad .lan guage. Then every one adjourned to the cor ridors to call some other Aldermen hard names. CARYEE'S GREAT EECOED. With 60,670 Cartridges He Makes a Score , of 60,000 Hits. Minneapolis, December 31. The greatest feat of marksmanship on record was com pleted at 2:30 o'clock this morning when Dr. Carver was gladdened by tbe score of 60.000 hits out of 60,670 shots. There were but few spectators present when the doctor finished the hardest tasK ne ever lacmea. ae loosed pretty well worn when the last gun was n loaded. His eyes were red, ana be h" looked like the man who opened Are at w balls at 10 o'clock last Monday moral' 60,670 cartridges which he shot we' . pounds. Sending Rocks to Oregon. from tbe Portland Oregonlan. The S. G. Reed brought down a singuu. of cargo Monday morning in the shape of son., stone sinkers for buoys, welgbing 6,500 pounds apiece. They came all the way from Pittsburg rather a long way to haul rock to Astoria and pay $50 a ton freight on It when rock just as good could be had close by. The mistake was probably that while iron sinkers were ordered by the officers here, the stone article was sent Slick Them Down With Resolution. From the New York World. 1 Jn thinking over tbe sort and the number of "new leaves" to "b,e turned over at the begin ning of the new year it is wise to lay In a sup ply of tbe glue1 ofanrmresoiutiontoatickthem down with. Mania Mitchell Captures PIttsbnrs; Nat-, oral Gas and Opera. It is becoming a stale statement to" say that the Bijon theater is crowded. Last night there were camp chairs in every corner of thetbeater into which they could be squeezed, and in a few places where they ought really not to be. The crowds just puzzled the management to provide for them. And it was this overflowing audience that Maggie Mitchell mastered in hec old style; tickled them into shouts of laughter; sweeping them suddenly into tears before they knew, it It is wonderful to see Miss Mitchell run the gamut of tbe emotions and insist on her audience accompanying her. She was in splendid spirits last night, and in the crirlish character of Rail in her new nlav 'of that name, she was even more buoyant more iuii oi kicks ana waggery man usual, ino character of Ray is not a novelty. It is a variety of the Jl'lUs model, but prettily fitted for Maggie Mitchell. She dominates and in-spires-the play, and lends its crnde and impossi ble story an air of truth. In every thing Miss Mitchell is not commendable. Her exaggerated and offensivo vulgarity in eating the lunch with her lover is a blunder which she ought not to be guilty of. Because it is true to nature, a very low and repulsive part of nature, it doesn't follow that Miss Mitchell is justified in resorting to it Tbe play is really better than thrfl common run of dramas written about and around astar. Its plot includes the impossible, but it well brought to a finish, and the Incidents of the riot and other climaxes are picturesque and bold. Mr. Charles Abbott and the company as a whole give Miss Mitchell a very adequate and praiseworthy support The Grand Opera Home. "Natural gas," with Donnelly and Girard in tbe leading roles, was presented at the Grand Opera House last evening. These clever com edians, with the aid of a fair company, suc ceeded in gaining the object for which this musical farce comedy was constructed, that is, they make laughter run all tbe evening. Mr. Donnelly, as Christopher Bluff, and Mr. Girard, as Whirlem 0'Rov.rke, the model olice officer, have both improved since their ast appearance in this city, altbongh some of their jokes are showing signs of old age. Their songs and imitations are still wonderfully good, ana were, as usual, liberally applauded. Mr. Mark Sullivan, as Nols E. Howell, is a clever mimic, but he is not much more. Ben Collins gave us a reminder of the old ways of minstrelsy, with a good deal of success. Sheer nonsense can be made very laughable by such a man as Mr. Collins, bnt it is quite pos sible to give an audience too much of non sense. The Kitty Alalone and Jimpty are not so good this year as they were last but tbe lat ter is still very brigbt and pleasant in tbe per son of Miss Lena Merville. The musical side of "Natural Gas" fell a victim to the orchestra last night What was the matter is bard to say exactly, bnt probably if the musicians had a casual acquaintance with tbe music they are required to play the results would be more har- monlous, ., ix less uizarre. Harris' Theater. "Prince Methusalem" was the opera selected by the' Kimball Opera Company to open its week's engagement at Harris' Theater. An ex cellent impression was made by tho company, the chorus work of which is by far the most en joyable part of tbe performance. The drilling of the soldiery shows that careful attention to details for which Mrs. Jennie Kimball Is so well known. There are a number of fresh young voices in the chorus, and there is quito an op- Sortunity for several in the solo parts. Miss lancbe Chapman, as J'rince Methusalem, was sprightly and a pretty prince, and Miss Annie Lnkie, as J'ulcinello, a very sweet bride. Ed Chapman's Siegcsmond and Arthur Bell's Cy prian were quite clever. The same opera will be given this afternoon. To-morrow "The Mas cot," Thursday, "Queen's Lace Handkerchief." The souvenir matinees are continued this week. Academy of Slastc. If you have a desire to begin the new year laughing, you cannot do better than trot straightway to Manager Williams' mirth pre serves on Liberty street The Kemell Com pany there this week Is not so remarkable for eccentric features as for all-around power in tbe fun-making line. Beginning with Harry Kernell himself, there are a round dozen men and women in the company who can make laughter as easy as winking. The other spe cialists are very good. Notes of tho Stnse. The two weeks following Miss Mitchell's en gagement at the Bijou will be devoted to Mr. William Gillette's celebrated plavs, "Held by tbe Enemy," on January 7, and "She" on Jan uary 14. Mbs. Pat O'Brien extends a lofty and broad invitation to New Year's callers this day at the Casino Museum. She will be assisted by two Albinos, Turtle Boy George and a host of other freaks equally astonishing. The theator ium contains many bright features. FITE HAD GOLDEN WEDDINGS.' A Family In Which LonK Married Life Has Been tbe Rale. from the Philadelphia Press. Were the query of Mona Caird as to whether marriage Is a failure propounded to Mr. and Mrs. A. L. Felten, who on Thursday night cele brated their golden wedding at their home, 1723Gratz street It would receive a most pro nounced negative. Mrs. Felten is the last of five granddaughters ot George Esher, who was a drummer boy In the Continental army at the battle of Germantown, to celebrate her golden wedding. Mr. Felten is 75 years old, "and his wife, hale and hearty, has reached the jage of 73 years. Mr. Felten comes of a loDjr-Iived and prolific family. His father and motierwere the parents of 16 sons and 5 daughters, 11 of whom are still living, the oldest of whom has reached the ad vanced age of 82 years. Mrs. Felton is the last surviving danghterof a familyof 11 daughters, five of whom had the unusual experience of celebrating their golden wedding. Mr. and Mrs. Felten are the parents of five children, and four grandchildren will carry down the name to posterity. ONLY A DAI 0E SO NEEDED. General Harrison Thinks Short Work Can be Made of One Case. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. Washington, December 31. If a little story told by a gentleman who has just re turned from Indianapolis be true, it is evident that President Harrison has kept himself pretty well informed in regard to those Demo cratic officials who have been guilty of most offensive partisanship from tbe Republican standpoint The gentleman says that during a call he and others made upon the President elect the name of the public printer was men tioned, and some one suggested that he would be a good subject for tbe early attention of the headsman. Mr. Harrison smiled and, said: "1 expect to bo pretty busy the day following my inaugura tion, but on the next day I think I shall have a little leisure to look after the case of Mr. Bene dict" ' A HEATI RAILWAY POST. Complimentary Names to the New Postal Cars of tbe Chlcngo-Now YorkLlne. Washington. December 31. The Postmas ter General has directed that the eight new postal cars just completed for the New York and Chicago line be named as follows: "Daniel Mannin"." "Mr. Justice Field," "Governor Felch," (ex-Governorof Michigan): "George 8. Bangs,"(ex-General Superintendent and found er of the railway mail service): "Governor Palmer." (of Illinois); "Governor Gray." (of Indiana): "W. F. Vilas" and "Allen G. Thur maru" This line, it is said, is the heaviest rail way post in the world. IToo Free With Her Kisses. 1 Special Telegram to the Dispatch. New York, December 3t Harris Adelson was divorced from bis wife to-day. She made love to one of his friends two weeks ago. She called the friend darling and kissed him under the left ear. The friend went straight to Mr. vison and told him all about it THAT'S IN A NAME? rtiman whose name was Wemyss - at last, so it semyss, .se the people would not? Vt 1 .erstand that they ought aa not Weemls, but Weems, To ' ther whose last name was Knollys fried vainly to vote at tbe pollys; fiat no ballot he cast Because till tbe last The clerk couldn't call Enolllii Nolu. And then a young butcher named Belvolr Went and murdered a man with a devoir Because the man couldn't. Or possibly wouldn't Pronounce his nameproperly Beever. There was an athlete named Strachan Who had plenty of sinew and brachan. And he'd knocks man down ; With an indignant frown, If be failed to pronounce his name Strawn. -London Xima. A Specter Climbed Into a. Church Tower and Rang; the Chiracs. Prom the Atlanta Journal. 1 Before the earthquake shook it down, tbe old guard house or police station was just across the street, In front of the church. Every night for years an old policeman, who bad grown old and decrepit in the service of his country and lastly of his city, kept watch at the door. 4 He bad seen many strange sights, and he always said that the strangest he had ever seen was the dead man ringing the chimes from the belfry of old StMicbael's. He bad seen the shrouded figure, time and again, climb up to the bells, and, not touching the ropes, which had been pulled so often by living hands, swing tne heavy iron tongues against tbe siaB of the bells and clash out a fearful melody -which thrilled while it horrified the listener. He would tell you, if yon cared to listen to his story, how the ghost had been murdered, for in its normal state it had been'nurdered by the thrust of an Italian stilletto in Elliot street Tbe spirit was to "walk the eartb," "revisit the glimpses of the moon," ring the old chimes, and do other horrible things, until tbe murderer was captured. A ,few minutes before midnight the old watchman would see this spectral cbimer enter the church doors, forgetting to open them, swiftly and in a very ghostly way glide up the steps of tbe winding stair, pause under the bells by the rones where Gadsden rings them, pass swiftly on without touching them, climb on into the gloomy belfry and stop beneath the open mouths of tbe bell. They yawned down upon it, as if striving to swallow up therestless spirit Suddenly, as if the inspiration had come, the shrouded band would move silently and rapidly from iron tongue to iron tongue, and the wild eldritch music would swell out upon tbe midnight air. MANI MILLIONS IX TEDSTS. Substantial Returns Made 10 the Holders of Boston's Copper Stocks. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. Boston, December 3k Boston's copper stocks have made substantial returns to their holders the past year, because of the opera tions of La Societe Industrelle Commerciale des Metaux. Boston has received some $2,500, 000 more in dividends from its copper stock in vestments In 1888 than it did in 1887, by reason' of the "syndicate" placing the price of the metal to consumers on a profitable basis for the mining companies. There is a net increase in the market value of the eight dividend-paying copper stocks in 1SS8 of $16,252,500, or more than 50 per cent. Meanwhile, the aggregate amount of dividends disbursed by these com panies has increased 170 per cent The market value of the non-dividend-paying copper stocks has increased in equal proportion, some of them even more, adding the present market value of the dozen or sa non-dividend-paying but producing Lake Superior mines and in cluding the Butte and Boston. Santa Fe, ana other companies, and it is safe to figure tbe grand total market value of Boston's copper companies at $62,000,000. Comparing this with the market value of Boston copper properties a year ago, shows fully $10,000,000 increase by reason of the or ganization of new companies and the apprecia tion in value of tbe old and smaller properties added to tbe $16,262,500 appreciation, shown in the eight dividend payers, as above tabulated, gives tbe total increase as considerable over S5,00O,00O a very substantial addition to Bos ton's worldly prosperity in a year characterized by by so much shrinkage in railroad stocks. AMEEICAN NEWS IN JAPAN. How the SnekvIUe Incident Was Explained by the Tycoon's Editors. Toklo Letter to New York Tribune. J When the telegraph informed Japan that tbe American press had demanded that the British Minister at Washington "be handed his pass port" for trying to influence the election, and that President Cleveland had recommended a change of ministers, there was in a few Japanese newspaper offices considerable flurry and ex citement Tbe expression "be bunded his pass port" was a puzzle. But the dispatch had to be put into print at once lest some rival paper get ahead. There was no alternative.no time to inquire; and, necessity knowing neither law nor mercy, the perplexed translator had to take the leap in the dark with a result evident enough to a bewildered public on the day fol owlng. One paper said: "On account of his having taken part in the Presidental election, tbe American press demands that the British Min ister at Washington shall hand back his pass port" Another informed its readers: The American press demands that the British Min ister at Washington shall have an itinerary in order to enable him to employpersuasion on tbe Presidental election." A third paper gave ine louowmg ruuuenng: "ine Dritisn- AniDas sador is going to be utilized. The American press recommends that his passport shall be handed to him in order that he may be in a position to assist at the Presidental election." What a deluge of subtle Irony these transla tors have put into their work, all unconsciously and with malice toward nonel THEIE HANDS QUITE FULL. Sponsors of tho Republican Tariff Bill Sit tins; In Continuous Session. Washington, December 31. A season of al" most unexampled activity is upon tbe Republi can members of Senate Finance sub-Committee in charge of the substitute for tbe Mills bill. Messrs. Morrill, Allison. Aldrlch, Sherman and Hiscock are in almost continuous session in the effort to make it as near satisfactory to all the interests involved as may be. This can be done onlybyamending.it in some particulars, and the purpose of tbe sub-committee is to decide what amendments shall be proposed. It is necessary that the desired amendments be agreed upon for the entire measure in ad vance, so that if detailed consideration of tho sections of the bill prior to tbe date fixed for a final vote upon its passage, the 21st of January if possible, tbe committee may have its changes ready to be proposed in bulk and disposed of in the same way. BEEIAH WlLLTfNS' PAPEE. Ho Will Likely Begin the New Yenr ns a Washington Editor. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. Washington, December 81. The roport la that the Morning, Post, of this city, will on Wednesday be transferred by Mr. Stilon Hutchins to Hon. Beriah Wilkins, of Ohio, and ex-Postmaster General Hatton. late of tbe New York Press. It is stated on good au thority that Mr. Wilkins has made the first payment and that tho sale is absolute, the sum paid being $130,000. It is said that Hatton will have entire charge of the paper, and that Mr. Wilkins has put in his money simply as an investment, and be cause he intends to make Washington his home in future. Ho already has large vested interests here, and during the last year has erected for his own occupancy one of the finest residences on Massachusetts avenue. MAIL DELITEET INSUEED. An Absolute Guarantee of Pnfety in Trans mission to bo Parcfaascablc. Special Telegram to the Dispatcn. New York, December 31. A New York in surance company commences on January 2 to Insure money, bonds and securities, as well as packages of merchandise, sent by registered mail. The insurance amounts to an absolute guarantee. The insurance begins simulta neously with the receipt by the insured of tho usual certiflcnto of the postmaster, indicating that the package has been deposited in the postoffice for registration, and continues until the postoffice employes at the office of destina tion have delivered it The Government assumes no liability for loss of a registered package. EMANCIPATION'S BIETHDAT. Great Preparations for Celebrating the Qnnrtcr-Ccntcnnial In Now York. Special Teletrram to the Dispatch. New Yobk, December 3L The colored peo ple here are taking an active interest in the celebration of the twenty-fifty anniversary of President Lincoln's publication of the Emanci pation Proclamation. For somo time various committees have been making preparations for the celebration and a big time is assured. Frederick Douglass, Rev. Dr. Derrick. B. K. Bruce, and many other prominent colored men have been invited to speak. Next Wednesday evening and Cooper Union will probably be the time and place. Mrs. Gould Still Paralyzed. Special Telegram to the Dispatch. New YORX,December3L. Mrs. Gould passed a fairly comfortable night Her physician says to-day that tbe fact that she was removed from one bed to another yesterday must not be ac cepted as evidence of any great improvement in his patient. She is still completely paralyzed on one side. Merely a Colncjdence. From the Philadelphia, Becord.l There is no sinister suggestion in the fact that the sun will go into eclipse on the very day ,the State legislatures are to" convene. It will '"just hapten so" that's all Texas had 895 indict! 1887 and 1888. .rinnnff tl,anv..Ant ..ul.,r.N,.,n been graduated from thUveuw schools. ,..-;0V That Rockland Me., schoolma'am. has paid her election bet by selling peanuts in tha post-office all day, and mads $37, which was s wu au si iwviu vuatltji J A young pastor in Maine distributes every Sunday to his auditors a printed skele Wlsl m ton of his morning sermon. He wants tb em to ' carry something home with him, he says. It is hoped that they take hom'e something mora -' than bones. " -7-Students before being admitted to the , University of Mississippi are required to4k appear before a board of professors and answer - ' whether they have any firearms about them or whether some person or persons had any In keeping for them. If so they must be delivered c& up before the applicants axa declared full J students. At a farmers' meeting in Warren, Pa., D. M. Davis gave an account of a sad experi ment in feeding snlphnr to his hogs two years q ago, by wbicn he lost S400 worth. He also mads . a bad break recently Dy giving buckwheat shorts to these flnnicky animals, and eight pigs and five shoats died in consequence. Mr. Davis is now prejudiced against buckwheat ins any form. George Lincoln, of Coatesville, Pa., has just fallen heir to 511,000 hi a curious way. An elderly German visiting this country some years ago met Lincoln and took a fancy to him. The German returned to Europe after a time and Lincoln bad forgotten all about bim until he was informed recently that the old man was dead and bad left him his entire estate. Lin coln is a journeyman printer and has set type in every State in the Union. A tramp passed through Augusta, Me., called "English Charley," who quoted scrip ture as glibly as he gave a history ef the prize ring, and narrated the story of the Rebellion, giving all the battles and skirmishes in which tbe Union army was victorious or defeated as clearlv as be discused theevents of the present day. Thirty-three years ago he was asoldier in the English army, and he vivaciously told the stcry of the fall ot Sebastapol in 1855, which he witnessed. Five tramps who entered the village of Burlington, Wis., on Christmas Day. begged money of the citizens and purchased tools generally used by burglars. Tbe residents be came suspicious and the village officers and merchants procured guns and watched at night for the supposed criminals. Notwithstanding the precaution taken, the fellows blew open two safes, securing 300 in notes and $500 in money. Tbey also entered five residences in the heart of the village, and, although tha notes were found in a railroad yard, the thieves escaped. Epitaph on a tombstone in the Island of Jamaica: "Here lieth the body of Lewis Galdy, Esq., who died the 22d of September. 1739, age 80 years. He was born at Montpelier, in France, which place he left for his religion and settled in this island, where, in the great earth quake in the year 1692, he was swallowed up, and by the great providence of God, by a second shock, was thrown out into the sea. where he continued swimming till he was taken up by a boat and miraculously preserved. He afterward lived in great reputation and was universally lamented." It is said that the town of Howland, Me., derived its name from the exclamation ruide by an adventurous white man. who fell in love with and stole away from her father's wigwam, a young and beautiful squaw. He was pursued down the Piscataquis, where he took his sweetheart into his canoe and boldly paddled out into the foaming waters. In hot pursuit came the duskv sons of the forest, and reaching the banks or, the swift flowing waters they saw the white sanup nearing the- shore. They set up cries of rags which continued through the night When these came to his ears he proudly lifted his head each time, and in classical English cried back: "Howl and be durned." An engineer on the Danville Railway, between Danville and Springfield, BL, has a cat that loves railroading. For several years tbe cat has journeyed with the engineer on his regular runs, usually sitting in the cab window before its master. Sometimes in fine weather it strolls out on the pilot and lies there for hours at a stretch, blinking at the dogs that bark as the train thunders by. Sometimes it climbs to tho top of the sand box. and siu there undisturbed by the shriek of the whistlo or tho clang of the belt Tbe cat used-to belong to tbe engineer's wife, who is dead, and ha wouldn't part with it for love or money. The engine has had good lack ever since the cat attached itself to it, and the train hands think that it is a mascot A Chicago man got on a State street car the other uay. carrying in his hand a quart can of oysters. He took a seat near tbe center of the car and carefully slid the can under tbe seat near the stove-pipe. Tbe conductor bad deadened his fire with fresh coal while going around the loop, but as tbe car bowled along State street tbe coal caught and burned up right merrily until the stove-lid became red hot. Then the appetizing odor of cooking oysters was distributed through tbe car. The man who owned the bivalves did not realize what was happening until it w38 too late, and when he alighted at his destination he carried home a dry stew instead of a quart of raw selects. M. F. Pappy, of Tallahassee, has an in teresting family relic It is a hard-carved ivory card case, of most Intricate design, being entirely covered with cute little figures and forms. Upon one side is represented the tomb of Napoleon, which is clearly seen through the droop1 1" branches ot a weeping willow, and aboT How it are guards and various oth inted figures. It is a mystery ho' carved the little tomb behind the truii. illow and mads it so perfect in shape. (her side of tbe case shows, in the foreground, jjongwood bouse and St Helena, which is inclosed by a neat little fence, with trees, houses, men, etc. In the background. The edges and top are also handsomely carved. This little case is an old heirloom, which has been in the family over 50 years. KEW YEAR'S WIT. 3 A Mother Wanted Repentant Son Mother, you warned me, -"then I married 311s Do i Pink, that I'd made my bed and must lie on It. Mother-Indeed I did. 1 "Welt I shan't ask you to remake the bed, but I do wish you'd come and superintend the cook- . lug." SeiB Xork Weekly. 1 Stranger (to life insurance agent) I be lieve I will take out a policy in your company. Agent Your business, please? Stranger I am a detective. Agent -The premium wlU.be SO per cent less than tbe regular list. The death risk on a de tective is merely nominal. Pioneer Press. Opera in Italian Mrs. Pinks (at a new Italian opera J-Wasn't she graceful then? Husband (eyes on Ubretta) Didn't notice. I'm following the plot. Did the action seem to fit tho situation and music? Mrs. Pinks Mercy mel How can I tell? I am not following the plot I'm watching the stage. Seio Xork Weekly. There are some men who cannot compre hend that very frequently in life the game Is not worth the candle Ben Jackson was one of them. "That makes the tenth match you have struck. What are looking for?' ' asked his room-mate .one evening, as Ben was striking a match and looking under the table. I "I dropped a matcb.and lam trying to find It," replied Beu.-iexa mf lings. r Complimenting the Press. Quest (regis tering his name and address, "tee Davis Jack son, editor Paralyier, Hunker's Hollow, Ark.") Yon compliment tbe press. 1 presume? Hotel Clerk Compliment the press? Certainly. You write a beautiful hand, sir; you do. Indeed. Guests without baggage are required to pay In advance, i'our dollars, please, Mr. Jackson. Chicago iriiun. ' . An Unsuccessful Seance Superstitious . 1 . 1.. tl.i...... ... .n.ll lllA J? young ou&u itu ciaufujiiukj t jm.,w -dark secrets of the future? Clairvoyant With the aid of my powerful horo scope I can, for 50 cents; but I must go Into a ' trance first. Younr Man-All right: here's your 50 cents, and you can get Into your trance as soon as you like. I only wdnt to ask yoa one question. cClalrroyante In a trance. Do Sullivan and Kllraln evermeaal toflrht? Clairvoyant (arousing from the trance) Here's UJ your 50 cents young man: you must ask me some-M tniug easier. tui ir .. TOUB PROPOSAL. You may make It In vernacular, Or, If you like. In Greek; Either lofty and oracular Or summering and meek: You may make It In the garden or Beside a drygoods chute; You may threaten ne'er to pardon her If she rejects your suit; You may taut it or may murmur Like some pure, meandering stream; You may frown at her, or term her The Zenbhla of your dream. Anyhow you choose to fake it You In no wise are debarred, If you only do not make It On - postal card. .'-tt3 . rMladelphUTtiM .. vl - VK MS 4- J-' .'-i I'li v "Ta- KUR$V;?9tl