Mg. {Torxoony sat at the supper
table Tuesday evening as his wife
cleared away the things, and after a
moment's silence he remarked :
“My dear, do you know what day
to-morrow will be ?”
“Of course I do; it's Thursday.”
‘I don’t mean that, my dear. Do
you know what anniversary it will
be?”
“I don’t recall.”
“Why, my dear, don’t you know
that it is the anniversary of our mar.
riage? On that day, thirty-five years
ago, we were made man and wife, and
"
“And I have had a grudge against
that preacher ever since,” interrupted
Mrs. Topnoody.
“And,” he continued, not noticing
it, “since that day hand in hand, we
have gone along the pathway of life,
gathering its thorns and its flowers,
bearing one another's burdens and
sharing one another's happiness.
Whatever of sorrow we may have had,
my dear, has been lightened by divi-
ding it between us, and whatever of
joy, has been doubled by a mutual
possesion.’
‘That sounds like you had
reading a novel, Topnoody.’
*No, dear, it is merely the outgrowth
of a pleasant retrospection. Do you
know, my dear, it seems to me bug
yesterday since I saw the orange blos-
soms in your hair, and heard the mu-
sic of the mystic words which joined
two hearts and two lives in a unity
blessed of heaven. Has time sped on
winged feet for you, my dear.
‘Not hardly, Topnoody.’
‘But, my dear, how long have the
joyous moments seemed to you ¥
‘Well, Topnoody, I haven't figured
been
coffee home as a beginning. ext
morning when he ap at the
store the safe was open, the cash gone,
and in the desk was a no t 1
clerk, reading :
“I have taken the $2,000 and am
prepared to skip. It will be the best
excuse in the world for your railing so
flat that your ereditors cannot realize
two cents on the dollar.”
Rio ba Ae 4 ACERS
At the Flatbush Lunatic Asylum,
Visitor pointing to a sad-eyed. emaci-
ated inmate :
“Victim of religious excitement, 1
suppose ?"’
“) or
“Dipsomaniac ?”
“No.”
“Failed in business ?”’
“No.”
“What then 7”
“A Republican who tried to reform
his party.”
A teacher who was trying to make
Johnny understand the science of
simple division.
“Now, Johnny,” she said, if you
had an orange which you wished to
divide with your little sister, how
much would you give her ?”
Johnny thought it over for a mo-
ment, and replied :
“A suck.”
o- -—
“What sort of a place is that, pa,”
asked a little boy of his male parent,
while they were out walking.
“That's a beer garden.”
“I didn’t know beer grew in gard-
ens,”
“There is a great deal of it raised
in gardens, my son.”
The sex : In one of the new girls’
schools. The Inspector arrives to
make an examination. “I wish to
have the best informed young lady
come to the blackboard,” he says sol
emnly. No one moves. “Then,” said
he gracefully: “I should like the
prettiest one to come.” They all stand
up.
P ms—_— A AI—— io
Several ladies who had been read.
it out quite as fine as hours and mo"
ments, but taking it in a lump, I
should say it had seemed about four |
thousand years. I might throw off an
hour or two on an exact calculation,
but not more than that, Topnoody.’
Mr. Topnoody didn’t ask for an ex. |
act caleulation.
-
Sn MP AI——
Mg. SuarT has a wife who is fond
ing reports of Washington society,
where Mrs. Senator, Mrs. Congress.
man and Mrs. So On, were mentioned,
attended an entertainment in Little |
Rock recently, and the next morning's |
paper contaumned the following notice: |
“Among the guests were Mrs. Justice |
of the Peace Jackleton, Mrs. Deputy- |
Sheriff Pugelmore, Mrs. Policeman |
Latsoaps and Mrs. Assistant Dog |
of gossip, and the other evening when
she was making various remarks about |
other people he said to her:
“Isn't Mr. Boone a friend
yours ?"
“Of course; and he is a mighty
aice man,”
“Well, I saw kim not two hours ago
with his arms around a woman.”
“What ? What's that? His arms |
around a woman, and he a married |
man !"
“Just that, exactly.”
“Well, what is this world coming |
to, anyhow ?”
“Really, I don't know. Boone seem- |
ed to be enjoying it.”
“Where did you see him ” |
“Out on a certain back porch. He!
put bis arm around her, and she put |
her face close to his, and then they |
kissed each other and I went away.” |
“Who could the huzzy have been? |
Did you see her?”
“Yes, and that was the strangest |
part of it all. I honestly never
thought Boone would do such a
thing.”
“Who was she ?”
“Hia wife.”
—— ———
A country tramp who brought up
at a farmhouse a few days ago claimed
to have had all kinds of bad luck, and
among other things he mentioned that
three fingers of oh right hand had
been so badly frozen during a cold
soap in Dakota that the doctor had
wmputate] them.
“Let me see,” replied the farmer, A
flirty haw was held out io response,
“Why, your fingers are all here and
all right I”
“Oh, of course, they are all right
now, but during the three years it took
to grow new ones I got so badly in
that I lost all hopes and took to
tramping.”
He got his dinner, but the farmer
was in Detroit next day making in-
qairies about the wonderful western
climate,
AR A ———s
Ove day two or three weeks ago a
retail grocer over in Jersey sat down
mith his clerk and wid : ~
“Janes, I owe New York houses
over $3,000,
“Yes, sir.”
“We baye $2,000 in cash in the
safe, the stock is all run down, and
this would be a good time to fail
in business,”
“It certainly would,”
“But 1 want a reasonable apology
to give my creditors when they come
down upon us for explanations. See
7. yu can’t think of something to-
ght, and let me know in the morn.
rh
of i
fll
(Rs
| vertises for bald men who are willing
{ the tops of their heads ‘for high pecu-
| niary recompense.’
ine Jerk promise; aud thesgrocer
Catcher Bezierian.”
“Yes,” she said, “I always obey my |
| husband, but I reckon I have some |
thing to say about what his commands
shall be.”
“Why Sam, how do you expect to
| get that mule along with the spurs on |
one side?” “Well, boss, if I gets dat |
side to go ain't de odder side boun’' to
keep up.
A patent medicine mavufacturer ad-
to have advertisements painted upon
A Vermont paper says that no
lady or gentleman, however costly at |
tired, will sit in church and est pea- |
puts. But then it would tire them to!
stand all through the service.
“Never look at your boy when he is |
speaking,” writes a father. It embar- |
rasses him when he is explaining how |
he happened to be at school and out,
| playing ball at the same time.
Mistress to her new cook : “Wednes- |
| days and Saturdays I shall go to mar- |
ket with you.” “Very well, mum;
but who's agoin’ to carry the basket,
the other days, mum?”
In some places a broken down front |
gate, produeed in court, furnishes all
the evidence a pretty girl needs to in-
sure a favorable verdict in a breach of
omise suit.
There is a difference between “in
got” and “got in.” Many folks have
“got in" to silver mining companie®
easily enough, but the “ingot” has not
yet rewarded their expectations,
“I don’t know much about the style
in gentlemen's apparel,” said a lady,
but the latest thing in spring overcoats
is my husband ; he never gets in until
1 Am”
“It seems to me,” moaned Algernon,
as he flew towards the front gate with
the old man behind him, “that thery
are more than three feet in u yard,”
Light on the Tell myth--A maga.
zine writer declares helt William FAT
never shot an apple off his son’s head.
Oh, yes, be did. That is where the
schutzen core originated.
It may not be feverally known, but
the fact is pevertheless true that the
man who will beat a carpet in the back
yard is greater than he who staye up
town uotil midaight talking politics.
“Doctor,” said a grateful patient,
seizing the Physician's band, “I shall
neves forget that to you T owe my
life.” “You exaggerate, said the doc-
tor. mildly; “you only owe me for fii:
wheeled a chest of tea and a bag of
HAVING OPENED A
NEW COACH REPAIR SHOP,
ON LOGAN STREET,
We would respectfully invite the
public to give us a call when in want
of any work in ourline. We are pre-
pared to do ALL kinds of
TRIMMING,
REPAIRING Sy
REMODELING,
Iso make a specialty of
UPHOLSTERING
IN ALL ITS BRANCHES,
All work will recieve prompt atten,
tion. Our TERMS are reasonable, and
all work guaranteed, Respectfully,
BIDWELL &£ McSULY,
4.8m. Bellefonte, Pa
DO YOU
WANT A NICE, COMFORTABLE
BOOT or
SHOE |
MICHAEL COONEY’S
Well known Boot and Shoe
C. VU.
Ne,
HOFFER & Co.
ht a
NEW GOODS,
ARE DAILY
Stand, cor. Logan and
Spring streets,
BELLEFONTE, -
i
|
PENNA |
teen visits; that is the point which I
hope«you will not fail remember.
1
ITCHING PILES
Bymptonsare moleture, stinging, Wehing, worse at
Bight: seem ar If pin worse were crawiing about
he rectum; the private pate arecfien affected. Ass |
plearant, soonomical and positive cure, Swarns's {
Oinvirny is saperion to any article in the market
Bold by draggiets, or send 50 eta. in Sot Stamps 3
Bogen, §1.25, Address, Da. Swarsk& Son, Phila, Pa
HE
LTH IS WEALTH!
|
Soom Sei
. o Lome of 4 wr. br vebe bry fosnes |
and Bomeinatl Shag Fide by & row ou of the besiw, |
of amre of sverdwieg «& BF a ae a
reat nt B14 bo von for B54, month
- ip
WZ CUARANTEY £1X BOXES
ear rrves Wise fT rarete
wrvemps nied mf owe whl and Gis petene
. * Qo Vom money 1 4 *a
1e¥ tae ht.) v
TER & NItDRLeGY,
HIS LTIR AES,
» rolafontod vogetatin Rim ren
pen Wondoahs, Conetlont um, Variine
0 WRETY We erwly brie, ae aed fo
Gilden. ISNER & HEHDELCON,
320 Roce Mra EE Inco! pliia. Po. i
HE ——— - tia, Po.) ]
FIR |
temenan lated
be Bhim Mund
»N
est and Bust appoinied Institction |
» Business Education
ig address,
P. DUFF & BONS,
To impart & Practionl Business Education has, for
many years and with success been the aim of
Duffs Col} No, 4# Fifth Avénue. The faithful
student has facilition for mach a training se will
aalify him fof an iminediate entrance upon practical
ation in any sphere of lite. Por circulars addres PP,
Duff & Sons, Pittsburgh, Pa. Duffs Bookk
published by Harper & Pro, printed In eolors, 400
pages. The largest workon the science published, A
work for bankers raflronds, business men and practh
cal scconntants, Price, $3.00,
Come and Buy,
2} ACRES ON FIFTH AVENUE,
In whole or lots,
A TWO.STORY BRICK
on Alleghany Street.
A TWO-STORY BRICK
On High street,
A TWOSTORY BRICK
On Thomas street,
A TWOSTORY FRAME
On Willow Bank street, $1800
A TWOSTORY FRAME
On Willow Bank street, £1200
A TWOSTORY FRAME
On Bishop street,
All in the Borough of Bellefonte,
pe Terms Made Easy.
BOND VALENTINE,
ol sin oobi for po tage, and re
ive fron, a ony bee of goods
| of mither sox. 10 mops money
glow dp thie world, Fortunes
ay wire, At
PRIZE
Clb,
CALICOES, Etc
eeping, |
OLD AND RELIABLE STORE OF
BARGAINS THEY
ARF OFFER-
ING IN
DRY GOODS,
SILKS,
CASHMERES,
es and will
ingly low.
we A 1S) oe
PROVISIONS,
QUEENSWARE, ETC
0t1—10
| Constantly on hand and Solicited.
C. U.
HOFFER
& CO.
Alleghany Street,
npr ary
NEW GOODS,
NEW GOODS
ARRIVING AT THE
tion to our regular size at 15 ots, And
| Teotions on every package, and Guarantee its Purity,
| solicit a trial order, feeling confident y
|
{
|
Bush House
To the Constantly
DEMAND F
Green's Condition Powder
We are now putting it out in full weight pound packages at 25 cts. in +
increasing
OR
remember we publish Formula and di-
If you have not sed it, we
ou will afterwards use no otner,
Block
bJ
Be lefonte, Pa.
We have Telephone Connection,
SECHLER & CO. Grocers,
|
ws
Bu
-— FOR
| We have endeavored to get the very best
|
| have some really C
FINE CREAM CHEESE,
SELECT OYSTERS,
| LARGE RIPE CRANBERRIES,
| BRIGHT NEW LEMONS,
| Princess Paper-Shell Almonds,
sh House Block, Bellefonte, Pa,
THE —
10. v. norrer & co SPRING and SUMMER TRADE!)
COME AND SEE THE :
I ——
of every thing in our line, and now
HOICE GOODS.
Extra Large FRENCH PRUNES,
SWEET POTATOES,
PRUNELLES, IMPERIAL FIC 78,
FLORIDA ORANGES,
Evaporated DRIED PEACHES
A FULL LINE OF CHOICE CANNED FRUITS.
PRESERVED PEARS, PEACHES, PLUMS and PRUNELLES.
PLAIN CANDIES, FINE CONFECTIONERY,
~AND—
GOODS. which cannot fail to please.
| 1-tf
in pelitier, nor any scot in religion
THEGREATEST ANDTHE BEST,
{ THE LARGE DOUBLE WEER LY,
RELIGIOUS AND ERCULAR
PURE GROCERIES, NEI YORK OBSERVER
s—
' Establiched 1823.)
Xo PAPST In Wee counLTY has a 100ore KXPERIENCED AND
| ABLE cours or Esrvons. Dr. Irensas Prime stands at
{ the sditorial fraterciiy and his letters and
| ihe bead
| editorials atill enrich the Opsrven. (iher smong its |
| editors have had the training of a quarter of & century
§ | Bor their work
| Taz Oonnusrornenteof the Ousenven are from all
ands; and the news, carefully prepared from jetters
i and telegrams, farnishing a mapiete view of the con
| dition of the work sach week
| The Department of Actiorarons, Bosivess, Soxpay
Enon YEACEING and RELIGIOUS WORK are conduc ted by
| experts, who write clearly and to the polet. The Os
| WEAVER dom not B11 its colamas with long essays and
| old sermons, but sims to be
| A LIVE NEWSPAPER.
giving every week & Retiorovs Suewr full of inetrec
| tions, snoouragement snd truth; and 8 SsovLan Sues
| containing all the pew, vigorous comments upon car
| rents evenie, and & great vanety of choles reading
The price is $0.15 a year. For sons ring yew stp
soRtuEns we give one dollar crmmisign of a copy the
| "inewavs Levvens,” an elegantly bound volume of 400
| pages, containing a portralt of the author. Rample
i Safes of the Ose ven will be sent 10 any addres: free |
| Address,
| New York Observer.
31 & 32 Pak Row, N. Y.
ndEd.
| PAINTING and
PAPER HANGING.
WORKMANSHIP THE REST.
PRICES THE LOWEST.
Bellefonte Pa. PROMPTNESE AND DISPATCH,
nied addres, |
WILLIAMS & BRO,
DEALERS IN
WALL PAPERA:
PAINTS, &C.
| HIGH 8t bet Spring & Water, Rellefoute
We take this method of informing everybody
| Ist That we have in stock the 1 and Best
| selection of Wai) Paper outside of Poiladelphis or
New York, viz: Solid Golds, Bmbossed pon,
| Mions, Miata, Satins, Huse and Browns, Beswutiful
| Borders in Great Va .
| oa That we have pb roesived from New Tork
Fred Beck's Now Book of Osiling Designs, We oan
furnish and put up as fine and elaborate Oeiling Dees
ormliond ss are put ap an
3. That we favits all who intend og to oall
and see cur line of goods before ng slsew here,
4th, We have in our employ fretless paper hang-
ere and pal nters, and are prepared to take jobs of
PAINTING, GRAINING, SIGN WRITING,
and PAPER HANGING,
Large or small, and complete the work with pesto
and 4
from the country solicited.
WILLIAMS & BROTHER,
—
ii
H
:
ii
i
£3
hod 3
+5
4
SECHLER
“| GOODIES of ail Sorts and Kinds
Pu rchased at UN. #& We invite the people of Centre
| .
‘usually low pric-
be
sold correspond - | vp
county to call and inspect our NICE
& CO.
‘FORKS HOUSE
| Coburn, Centre Co., Pa.
| GOOD MEALS,
CLEAN BEDS.
PRICES MODERATE.
8-HOTEL WITHIN TWO MIN.
UTES’ WALK TO STATION.
Good Stable Accommodations.
Excellent Hunting and Fishing grounds
quite near this Hotel,
i
|J0S. KLECKNER - Prop’.
WANTED «To solicit orders
i for sur Fruit and Ornamental
| Stock. A spiedid line of new Fpecinition. Good wages,
| and steady employment Hy to relinble energetic
men. Writefor terar to BE. B Rromansson & Oo,
13.3 Bxwmos Laks Nenseuins, Gexeva, N, n
LARGE CROPS OF
WHEAT, GRASS, OATS, RYE,
BUCKWHEAT, POTATOES, Erc,
| Con be Raised by Using
' BAUGHS
$25 PHOSPHATE.
| #@~This is a real ammoniated bone
super-phospbate which we alone pro-
duce by means of special advantages
in manufacturing. It is not an acid
phosphate. “a
‘Price $25 per 2,000 Ibs.
(To new bage of 20 Pounds Bach.)
Free on board Cars or Bost in Philsdelptun,
BAUGH & SON, PHILA.. PA,
Bole Manufacturers,
STUDIO,
2nd floor Bush Arcade,
(Room opp. 12. Rotheock's Dental office.)
I am now ready to do all kinds of
PAINTING,
Such as PORTRAITS ineil. LAND
SCAPES, SIGN and ORNAMEN.
TAL. FANCY DECORA.
TING and GRAINING
a SPECIALITY.
Satisfaction guaranteed in all cases,
I would be pleased in have you eall,
and examine specimens of work. In-
structions given in Painting,
Very Resprcrevnty, Sor
liana AT A
C. P. filder,
eke op ts St gr BF PCE EP
frosh, at BR newang
'SALESMEN
i i
, Ma
{4