Centre Democrat. (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, May 08, 1884, Image 2

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    Old Buokloybrooni.
The United State* authorities ut
Little Rock received intelligence to
tho effect that old wan Buckley broom,
of Faulkner county, had been for
tome time engaged in illicit distilling,
so the arrest of that gentleman be
came a government necessity. Deputy
Marshal Bescal, a man of undaunted
courage, was sent out to lead the old
man to justice. Mr. Bescal has never
associated very much with tho squat,
ters, having hitherto operated in sect
ions of tho country where violence in
stead of craftiness is required.
While riding carefully along a nar
. row road, the deputy marshal saw an
old man sitting on a log.
"How are you, sir?" called Mr. Bes
cal.
"How're yer ?"
"Do you live in this community ?"
"Wall, I hang erroun' here some.'
"What is your business ?''
"PreachinV
"What denomination ?"
"Fust oue an' then tuther.'
"What mak. s you chang ?"
"Wall, you see, if I am a Bnptis
an' the season ain't good, I think that
I oughter change. By tryin' all o'
'em, I'm mighty ap ter git the right
oue airter cr while."
"I'd like to meet some good old
Baytist, for I need a drink of whisky
as bad as anybody ever needvd any
thing in this world. Do you know
who's gut any ?"
"Any Baptists?"
"No, any whisky ?"
"Reckiu the Baptist have got
some."
"Where can I find a Baptist ?"
"Don't know, fur the only one what
lives in this kcrmunity is dead ?"
"How does he live here if he's
dead ?"
"Dam 'fi know."
"Does a man named Buckleybroom
live in this neighborhood?"
"Old Tom Buckleybroom ?"
"Yes, I think so."
"He uster live here."
"Where does lie live now ?"
"He don't." •
"You mean that he's dead, I sup
joge ?''
' Sorter.''
"Isn't there another Buckleybroom
in the community ?"
"Yas, there's one named Jack."
"Where is he ?"
"Wall, take this path up the hill
keep on till yer come ter a spring,
then take the left han' road. Airter
awhile ycr'll come ter a little house.
Git down, go out in the orchard and
yer'll find him."
"How do you know he'll he in the
orchard when I get there? "
"'Cause he knin't leave. He wus
put there las' spring.''
"You mean that he's buried there?"
"Sorter."
"He's dead, then ?"
"Yas, fur we don't bury folks crlive
in this country.''
"What's your name?"
"Potts."
"Where do you live?"
"On the other side the hill."
"Were you in the army ?"
"Yes; I fit fur the Union.''
"I'm glad to know it. You are no
doubt a law abiding citizen ?"
"Yas, I alius have been."
"Would you a-siit any one in en
forcing the law ?"
"Ob, yas."
'There is a man in this coummuni
ty that I want. I am not certain
about his first name, but his surname
is Buckleybroom. Show me where he
lives and I'll give you five dollars."
"That's sorter dangerous, fur if his
folks seed me goin' round wid vcr, it
would far' bail with me."
"Well, direct me so that I can't
miss the way."
"All right," and the old fellow, with
many evidences of nervousness, gave
minute directions. He received the
money and exacted a promise from
the officer that he would ever keep
his mouth shut concerning the trans
action. The old fellow watched the
deputy marshal until he was out of
sight, and then turned to a boy who
stepped from liehind a tree, and said :
"Nick, fetch the bosses, fur this
here neighborhood is sorter bilious.
Made five dollars by tellin' o' a lie
when the truth woulder snatched me.
Wall, he won't get so close to old
Buckleybroom agin this season."—
Ark. traveler.
A REPORTER, who has business in a
sail-loft the other day, heard sonic one
moving about in a small room, parti
tioned off from the loft, anil directly a
voice roared out:
"All clear forward ? Then let go
the stern line!''
There was silence for a few seconds,
aad then the vuioe continued :
"Steady at the wheel! Port a little!
Meet Iter now as she swings!"
"Who is that chap, and what on
earth is lie trying to do?" wa asked
of the sail-aiakcr.
"Oh, lie was mate on a side-wheeler
last year, and this coming season he is
to he a captain ou a propeller. He is
getting his voice in shape for the open
ing of navigation."
Just then the voice roared and bel
lowed aiid rattled arounJ, followed by
the words: "Back her! Go ahead
slow ! Out with tho gang-plank ! Cast
off that stern line !"
"What do you mean by getting his
voice in shape?" was asked of the sail
man.
"I nicati that he lias been practicing
four hours a day for the last month, j
and will continue it for a mouth more.
There is one standard for mates and
another for captains. For instance, a
mate may shout'ls your lino clear?'
and not feel it necessary to freeze the
souli of passengers aboard, but the
captain views i. in a different light.
When he utters an order or shouts an
inquiry lie expects to see splinters fly
from every wareh -u-e. Why, -ir.
when the captain of a first-class pro
-1 peller cries out to go ahead or back
I her h i expects t<> paralyze everything
for a mile around."
"And he needs a voice?'
"Aye, sir, he must have a voice as
heavy as the roaring sea li n. \N lien
; he has the voice he must study pose.
When he has the pose lie must pract
ice facial expression. To he a success
ful captain he must have a voice like
McCullough, a ]s)se like Barrett, and
a dignity of look which might belong
to an offended lion. Then lie stands
up like this—poses about like this —
assumes an expression like this, and
cries out : 'F.ase off that bow line !' '•
, Ar.d from the room at tho other end
of the loft came the rumbling, roar
ing thunder-dap of a voice saying:
i "And hold fast to the stem !"—De
troit Free
Only Ono Chair.
Mr. Wilberforec of Main street, is
not a bad man in his way, but he was
sorely put out the other morning at
breakfast. He bad lent a neighbor
most of his parlor chairs, and when
he entered the room he found but one
of these useful articles left.
He immediately called his daugh.
ter and turning angrily to her, said :
"You entertained Augustus Smith
for two hours last evening in this
room ?"
"I did pa,'' confessed the maiden with
a blush.
"And where did lie sit?"
J "On that chair."
"And where did vou sit?"
"I —I—I "
"No prevarication. Where lid you
sit?"
"I—oh, gracious ! I—l1 —I sat on the
coal hod, pa. "
Mr. Wilberforce says he doubts the
truth of the statement, but where
could the poor girl have sat.
Tilt frightful scream of a woman
was heard in a York street house yes.
tcrday afternoon. Several men who
were passing along rushed poll-null
into the house, thinking the w >man
was In irig murdered.
"What's the matter?" askol tin
| man who had enteird first.
"Oh, oh !" sighed the woman. •
"Where is he? Where did he go?"
asked another, a j he rushed here and
there.
"Oh!—in—oh!—that hole in the
corner, I think."
it was a mouse. — Ex.
m ♦ ■
"I AM told your wife committed
, suicide by jumping in your cistern
, ' Mr. Tightman."
1 j "Yes ; that's so," replied Mr. Tight*
: man.
r "I truly pity you, for your wife was
i an excellent woman."
"Yes ; but if she was lient on kill
' in' herself, she had orter done it some
j other way. None of the family will
, drink the water in that cistern no
I more, and every drop of it will have
to IK> pumped out, and I s'posc there
are as much as ton feet o' water in it.
i —Ex.
JAM EX, who was trying to sew a new
button on his coat, murmured : "They
say there's a new yacht that make*
„ fifteen knots an hour, but this thread
| makes twenty knot* a minute. — Ex.
i, Is this office, when a man fails inte
the waato-basket he dmja into poetry.
I —l'hi/adeljiMa tall.
A KITTLE girl who was watching a
hulloon ascension suddenly exclaimed:
"Mamma, I shoulu't tliiuk God would
like to have that man go up to heav
en alive." — Ex.
"WHAT is the greatest calamity in
life?" asked a Huston schollmarm the
other day, addressing her class.
There was a pause of some mom
ents' duration. At length the younK
son of a north-end politician put up
his hand.
"Well ?" asked the teacher.
"To ho beaten at the 'lection and
lose yer office."
Tho teacher put him at the hem! of
the class on political economy.
"I WANT to give you a pointer,"
said a man to a friend from the coun
try the other day.
"I don't want a pointer," was the
countryman's reply.
"It isn't going to c-t you a cent "
"You hail better sell the pointer to
someone," suggested the yokel, with
great emphasis.
The man who who was to givt the
pointer looked at his cornhusking
friend in nstonishment,when the latter
said :
"1 mean just what I say. 1 don't
want your pointer for a gift. 1 had
one lu.-t spring, and he tore tip all
the plants and raised ructions, and I
ain't got no room for d"gs on mv
place! '
Ami the professional financier com
mcnced to thrust his head between the
uncut pages of his morning paper,
that the bean-raiser might not see tho
smile that was floating across his feat
ures.—Puck.
"What is the key to this great mys
tery of death ." solemnly inquired the
orator, pausing impressively. And
the man in the front seat, who had
been coughing all the evening, huskily
replied that he reckoned that it must
be a skeleton key.
liens may Ik: a little backward on
eggs, hut they never fail to come to
the scratch where flower beds are con
cerned.
What i- |tbe difference lietween a
little boy and a potato? One grows
to be eaten, the other beaten to grow.
"What is that you are wearing?"
asked farmer John of his fair city
hoarder. "Oh! that is my red Jer
sey." "All right," was the reply,
"but don't go mar my brown Jersey
over in that field, unless you are gtrnd
at climbing *es."
"There is money in hogs," says a
rural cxchanj(E It would seem so.
We know a kreat many that have
money. '
"Mamma," said Harry, "What's
th difference between goose and
gi-ese"Why, don't you know.''
-aid four-year-old Annie; "one geese
i goose, and a while lot of goose is
Ao old widower says when you pop
the question, do it w itli a kind of laugh
u- it you were j ki: g. If she accepts
y ti, very good; if she does not, you
I'.tn say yi u were only in fun.
"See, m imrna," exclaimed a little
"lie, ns pti-s, with arching spine nnd
elevated rudder, strutted around the
table, "see kitty ha* tabu so much
she enn't shut her tail down.
Heal estate is said to he good *e
euritv because it never runs away.
Ibis, however, is not reliable. We
have know lands to slope before this
Heing entertained by a romance
isn't what is usually meant when the
types say "a novel entertainment.''
"Yon might think Hcottie Chin was
the nickname of some fellow out in
the West, hut it isn't. It's the name
of one of the prettiest girls in Ken
tucky," say the Philadelphia Pro*.
Yes, and one of the brightest girls in
Eastern Ohio is Mi*s Emancipation
Proclamation Cogshill, of Westorville
STUDIO,
2nd floor Bush Arcade,
nfrp. T>r R Ifernrk't !*nUl < )
/ am note ready to do all kinds of
PAINTING,
AW Aat PORTRAITS in oil LAND
.SCAPES, Sf(JN and ORNAMEN
TAL. FANCY DECORA
TING and QUA /NINO
a .SPEC!A LITV.
Satisfaction guaranteed in all rase*.
I would lie pleased to have you call,
and examine specimens of work. In
structions given in Painting.
VKBY RasricrrvLLY,
e. V. itilder.
t\ ii. neurit * co.
NEW GOODS,
NEW GOODS,
AUK DAILY ARRIVING AT THK
<LD AND RELIABLE ST >KE >j
C. U. IIOFFKR k CO.
COME AND SEE THE
R ARC A INS THEY
A HE OFF ER
IN d IN
DRY GOODS,
SILKS,
CASHMERES,
CALICOES, Etc.,
Purchased at un
usually low pric
es and will be
sold correspond
ingly low.
—A I*SO—
PURE GROCERIES,
PROVISIONS,
QUEENSWARE, ETC.
0 t -11)
Country Produce
Constantly on hand and Solicited.
(. I.
IIOFFKR
& CO.
Alleghany Street,
Bellefonte, Bit.
WIN Cr<4iK ,
To tho Constantly lncrossincr \s/ i
DEMAND FOR X f
Green's Condition Powder *
We are now putting it out in full weight pound packages at 25 ft*., in addi
tion to our regular aizo at 15 cl*. And remember we publiah Formula and di
r-clion* on every package, and Guarantee ill Purity. If you hive not u*ed it, w<r
solicit a trial order, feeling confident you will afterward* ue no other.
GREEN'S PHARMACY, *'
Bush House Block,
Bellefonte, Pa.
We have Telephone Connection.
.S/.f ///,/./, .I I (irwrrn, Hush Jfouoe Jtlock, JteJit/onlr, J'a.
NEW GOODS
—F O K TII K \
SI'HIXG ami SI'MMKIi TRADE!!
We have endeavored to get tLe very le-t of every thing in our line, and now
have Home really CHOICE GOOf*S.
FIXE CREAM CHEESE, Extra Large FRENCH PRUNES,
SEE EC T O YST EES, S WEET PO TA TO FX,
LARGE RIPE ('RA XI!ERRIES, PI; VXEI.EES. IMPERIAL FJGS,
BRIGHT XEW EEMOXS, FLOPII)A OPAXGES,
Primes*. Paper-Shell Almonds, Evaporated HRIKI) PEACHEs
A FULL LINE OF CHOICE CANNED FRUITS.
PRESERVED PEARS, PEACHES. PL CMS and PRUXELLES. %
PLAIN CANDIES, PINE CONFECTIONERY,
—AND- *
GOODIESof all Sorts and Kinds
tec We iuvite the people of Centre • >unty to call and in*|>ect our NICE
GOODS, which cannot fail to please. '
uf SKCIiLKK CO.
2"c party Is p:'.it::r. sr any net Is re!!g!:s
Tin OKE ATr.ST *in TUB MCST.
Till. I.AIH.F. IMK-HLK W FS K I T
KKl.lUtOl'S XD Mk-i'I.AR
NEW VOHK OBSERVED
1R23.
N pai-vf r, f. miry !,*• an. r mrtiti im©
t;r it* r|Mt m I>t Ifvnrtia Princ aUrdi •!
tha h**d - 1 the a4lloril fnlrDii]r #<! 1 • ar<)
elit. T.aJs.t !it • !. the. it gits
have f.a-l t trairur.jg f a jGtrVr I a
f f thv.r v rV
Tmi< • lb* Owntti an Ir ad
av)<ta !h n*Yra e awfully fr tt # iHfr-fH
ar 1 t*!agrwa,fti!niibik| a '"fnjiM* mm of the r*.r,
4iti .vi rf tt >rk tm r h *ek
Th* "1 S<**t t*ltritr |tr-star**, ft *DT
t ?t *!*a at l * at* r.tj ' rte-dl-y
kjwrl* vie Vtfta CI ** 11 * anil IP' j r.t Th <•*-
aftittJi 4' t- t fid H* r- i .. r ,s ,D| I Jtji ,as fc , and
oM •artnona, Init Aim* io
. A LIVE NEWSPAPER.
fc-.til £ rvty araw-k a Rtti- : tiintrrfull of InlfT.r
ikon*. * r tirac*rna)t at, 1 !nitl an Ia h • t lAfc f it it
Mojntnjr •!! tli" . 114.* r us • jwt> rtir
rmts Mrr.u.s 1 jrnl tstvlj d r| n* tfidiQg
Tba ft $3 11 • v>ar I" ••* rtn* am
• ait-tt - s * t.a ? -lUr "fUMie r ■r a ctspf Iha
-|l* ' I artel .srdlt b.ttr .t lutnf.f 4"
faxrea. 'v.ni.% t 1 u a ' f Iha author
•id'* < f iha "• ♦* ta anil Waant l May i44raM free.
Naw N trl Mljaervar.
;a a Hi /vir/. i:ou\ r.
talWAt.
I'AINTING and
PAPER HANGING.
WT.RRM\XMIIT Tl!,' BBPT.
PRUT- TUB T/rWKST
PRUWrTNKS* ANti MSrATCtI.
WILLIAMS & BRO,
t>!* AI.KRB IX
WALL PAPERi:
PAIHTf*, &C.
HIGH 8t V>et Spring ft Water. Bellefonte
W. Uk, (hit m<h -l ot Infnnnln. . r,hod, ;
!•( Th*t • !it in "to. V 11.. *n.l 8.'.l
plMOn, of W*ll IXkpor rMJI.Id# of or
X'. York, *lr: fMidOnIS, RmhowoS Brvr,
Mlom. Flt, Satin,. Bl* k, .ml Rn*M. Ilniiful
IVitilM-, In <)mt Vrlr(j.
IM Tl.t *. Ir,*- Jo.t rwrtTo.l from X#„ T.-rk
Pi-I IWk'. N> II- k .'I CUin* W, f*n
fnmi.-i i.4 fil *• *"• * r "t Bilwrilr rVilto, I>c.
nnUorik M *r pot nf>*nrrWo
M Tk,t w In,ll* *ll —ho IbimiA f|—tint f r—II
•t. l M*oar liaof *< i l*lor onfMing *l—,kw.
lih. W h* It. our rmplo, fin* rln, pafr h*n.-
•I. *n<l f*l nlr. n<l r |,r*|il 1" l*k, Jb* t
I'AtXTIXO. ORAIXIXO PTOX WRtTIXO.
*n.| r*r*R HAXOTXO,
L*,,o or aantU. *r.4 o|'l'l thr -nrk -lib tmlw.
•n* 4lploh.
from tfc* ...nr.uj *..|kilo4
tTMtt. wii.t.iam* nßornsii
ADVICE TO HOTnEBS.
Ar* r"> Al,nrt4 * nod krk*. of j r imt
h* * *<<k (AIM rnflrrtn* ut cr,t.( lth p*l* cfttl
tin* I—<k f H no. Mi *1 one* n.l fl a Mtl oT
Mm Vinm'l B<Mt.ia Si.sr ram (knu>M.*
Tnrun tU T*lb Ir '.i..'*|. all>l*. It will rrttrr*
Ik* Lr Ittll- ruffrrrr Immrdlakl, ,*>• II
imilimi. Ik*. Ir no mlrtakr rbonl It. ft rnr* dj
•ntarr ••* rirrth.**, r*-Utr tk. rl..rk tli how
•Ir. oaror wlmi roth. r.,ou Ikr *••. r-In.*r .a
InnTiiH- ' (iron lo*r *ni *a*rt, a Ur *h l.
maa. Ma* Wirrujw'r Sootnar Mu? ra* Can*-
, *■ Tnnim Ir to Ikr teM>. .*4 I. Ihr r . <
mtattaw ofaaa o tkr liwl rni ton* fnaala skjah
ol**r **4 fell in la tk* t'rll4 Mrto. *a4 I* for 1,
, kaall 4rAtoto thr i k altkrwart*. rrtoalStwal*
i * ballla. M ir.
i FORKS HOUSE
C'ohurii. Centre Co., Pa.
I GOOD MEALS.
CLEAN BEDS.
PRICES MODERATE.
MTIIOTKL WITHIN TWO MIS* 1
T'TES' WALK TO STATION.
'• adStn'lr Afrtitnm aliitu.nl
Excellent Huntini; and Fiabing ground*
quite n-ar tbi* Hotel.
•InS. KI.KfKXKIt - Pron'r.
MRS. A. E. SEIBEKT
w 14 r*l lo thr I*4l*. „f B' fotlr *n.! aulßltj
ihi b* i, prwparrd h. do
DRESS MAKING
In the very Lstert f'itv Style*, and with
Xrat nest and ThspateK.
*.*AwZR is ti AIR GOCrS.
Combing* niiele to crdr r.
Finking done on *bort notice.
Stamp.ug in French Oil a Specialty.
I *m VDo Agent for the Celebrated
Pre*. Maker*' MAGIC SCALE.
Mr*. A. E SEIBERT.
No. 11 Allegheny St..
50 ".m. Bellefonte. Pa,
—
'QAT'TQM'FY wakticp T . i,rii ord*
UAljDOill Li * '■* Fm t mJ
f*t k A |-lr4W ll flf * ftfWdlHlM Ivtki] A
• rxl m*fi'. TUi' i t cireu 1 relteM# pti+l £+%U M
, rt>v-r Wnl"f • f*tttn to R. Ii lint*r.t> % k 1
UJI Mm * Uu N; MUiM diAn t, Jf. T'
low. Everything nw and 1
i freah, at Gartnan'a.
LARGE CROPS OF
CORIT
WHEAT, GRASS. OATS, RYE.
BUCKWHEAT, POTATOES, ETC.
(hn bf, by f 7
BAUGH'S
, $25 PHOSPHATE.
IK?*This i* a real ammoniatcd bone
> super-phosphate which wc alone pro.
duce by means of xpecial advantage<
in manufacturing. It is not an acid
( phosphate."M
j Price 525 per 2,000 lbs. •
• (In 11 rw h*c* rf 90 P.wwdr Stork.)
! Ft** ea kotont Can er Bnt I* rktluMfia
J BAUGH & SON, P 111 LA., PA,
- W, Suakrtrrm.
f 4
r —SO itylw of Brtuaelf carpet to mlvct
* from at Oarman's. {A