How Dickons Did It.
BOMB ENTERTAINING COR ItKHI'OND
KNOE. —HOW BQUEERB GOT A
THKK3HINO —TIIK FAMILIAR
METHODS OK A GREAT
AUTHOR ILLUSTRATED.
"You sai l you were Dickens' corre.
s|K>udent before his daughter was horn.
You must have been very young at
' the time."
"Yes, I was only five years old. It
happened thus : I had, in a childish
way, become deeply interested in the
characters in 'Nicholas Nicklehy,'
which was then coming out in illus
trated monthly numbers, the pictures
of which my father showed me as he
I old rao the story, and I told my father
what I thought ought to be dotio to
Squcers, Nicholas and the boys. He
told me the author would do what 1
liked, if I wrote to him ; and, accord
ingly, 1 dictated a letter to Dickens,
with whom my father was slightly ac
quainted, and, to my great delight, a
letter was soon brought to our house
lv the Rev. Thomas Ilarham, the
author of the 'lngoldsby liegeuds,'
which shows Dickens' kindness of heart
a .1 sympathy with childhood, I have
n < copy of my letter, hut here is Dick
ens' reply"—and Mr. Hughes handed
the reporter a letter in Dickeu's hand
w riling, which run u> follows :
DOUUATV ST., LONDON, Dec. 12,1838.
UESI'KCTED Sin—l have given
Squeers one cut on the neck and two
on the head, at which be appeared
very much surprised aud began to cry
which, being a cowardly thing, is just
what I should have expected from him
—wouldn't you ?
1 have carefully done what you told
me in your letter about the lamb aud
the two "sheeps" for the little boys-
They have also had some good ale and
pirter and some wine. 1 am sorry
you didn't say what wine you would
like them to have. I gave them some
sherry, which they liked very much,
• xcept one boy, who was a little sick,
and choked a good deal. He was
rather greedy, aud that's the truth
and i believe it went the wrong way, i
which I say served him right, and I
hope you will say so, too.
NICHOLAS AND SMIKE.
Nicholas had his roast lamb,as you ■
-aid he was to, but he could not eat it ;
all, and says if you do not mind his
doing so he should like to have the (
r-st hashed to-morrow with some
greens, which he is very fond of, and
-> am I. Ho said he did not like to
have his porter hot, for he thought it ,
-spoiled the flavor, so I let him hive it
'■ id. You should have seen him drink
it. I thought he never would have
! -ft off. 1 also gave him three pounds i
of money, all in sixpences to make it,
. m more, and he said directly that
h should give more than half to his
amma and sister and divide the rest J
with poor Smike. And I say he is a
g >o I fellow for saying so, and if any* j
l>o ly says he isn't I am ready to tight [
him whenever they like—there.
A DISAGREEAHI.R THING,
Fanny Squcers shall be attended to,
-I [Hind upon it. Your drawing of her
is very like her except that I don't
think the hair is quite curly enough'
The nose is particularly like hers—
mid so are the legs. She is a nasty
i:'agreeable thing, and I know it will
make her very cross when she sees it;
nnd what I say is that I hope it may.
5 .it will say the same, I know.
i meant to have written you a long
litter, but I cannot write very fast
w hen I like the person I am writing
t >, b cause that makes me think about
i m, and I like you, and so I tell you
i sides.it is eight o'clock at night and
I always go to bed at eight o'clock,
• xocpt when it is my birthday, and
then I sit up to supper. 8o I will not
oij- anything more besides this—and
that is my love to you and Neptune ;
nod if yon will drink my health every
t'liiiitroas day I will drink yours—
i 'ime! lam respected sir, your affec
tionate friend.
CAARLEB DICKENS.
- rnm\
LOUD LvrroN spoke wisely when
lid that the stomach is the seat of
locmory, for a man is not likely to
i >rget thai he's hungry.
BALVI.NI and Edwin Booth do not
agree in their conceptions of King
)car, hut they agree that roaccaroni
and ham hold the balance of power.
ANSWCTTBII. —Is there a person living
who ever saw a esse of ngue, hilltous
mew, nervousness, or nemalgis, or any
• i M-e of the stomachs, liver, or
kidneys that Hop hitters will not
i arc?
"Sixoa" on a Battlefield
"Actors often meet under very pecu
liar circuinstances, and this meeting of
tho Grand Army of the Republic re
minds me of oue," remarked Deputy
City Controller Rush to a reporter.
"It's dull day for items, I'eter, so
' tiro away with your fabrication !*'
1 "Oh, no ! This isn't oue of thai kind.
This is a fact, aud I've got the pajters
to prove it!"
"Never mind the documentary proof!
If it's a good story, I'll take your word
for it without affidavits,so go ahead!"
"I am not going to mention any
names—"
"No importance. Brown and Jones
will do."
"Nor where nor when the battle
took place—"
"Immaterial. NY us anybody hurt?"
"But it wus u hot one, and when
the two armies got iuto close quarters
two actors who had often played to
gether met face to face ; one with a
Union,the other with a secession sword
in his hand. You know what a broad
sword combat is?"
"Yes. Two misses to one hit."
"Not so bad as that. It's like n '
clockwork. Anyoue who ever sat
near the stage at a French Spy's per
formance has heard the Spy and Mo
hammed counting in a whisper. 'One,
two, three, one, two, three, one, two
three (a pause I; now four! one, two,
three, four, five, six, and keep it up!' I
"Just as these two actors crossed
swords they recognized each other, and
one of them, who was a quick witted
fellow, sang out, 'Sixes, cully!' and at
it they went with all their might, right
in plain sight of both armies."
"Which got the best of it?"
"Both. Both of them were honora
bly mentioned in the dispatches for ;
bravery upon the field, and both were
promoted.
Not Very Badly Loft.
There arrived in this city yesterday,
half an hour after the west-bound train
hail departed, a young man who wa- .
in a terrible fix. He was on his way j
i to a village in the interior to get mar
ried. The day and hour hnd been set,
and here he was, 50 miles away and i
' no show to get there unless he hired n
; locomotive. Acting ujsm the advice
of tho depot policeman, the young
man had an iuterview with one of the
chief officials of the road, who offered ;
the use of a locomotive for 810.
"That's a heap of money," replied
the young man, as his enthusiasm be j
gan to ooze away.
"Yes,"said the indifferent official.
"I'll telegraph to her lather aud ice !
I what he says."
"Very well, let nie know within an
; hour."
In nbout an hour the young man j
' returned with a message in his hand,
| and he laid it before the official with-.
, out a won). It road:
"Susan changed her mind yesterday
and was married to Frank."
"Then you won't want the locomo
tive, of course ?"
"Of course not. It was lucky I
thought of telegraphing, for I'm just
140 ahead."
"And you don't feel bad on being
left?"
"Well, I'd been engaged to Susan
for thirteen years and when I opened
that dispatch my knees wobbled a hit,
hut I guess it's all for the best. I'm
also engaged to a Toledo milliner who
does a business of $30,000 per year,
and to a girl in Columbus who expects
her aunt to leave her $OO,OOO, and I'm
in hopes of.pulling through without
going into a decline. Sorry to have
troubled you sir, and I'll hid you good
day.''—A'. Y. Truth.
A Bad Indictment.
,A highly respected citizen was ar
raigned before court for shooting and
killing a friend. The evidence was
dirsct and after exhaustive arguments
had been made the judge said :
"It is clearly proved that you arc
guilty as charged by the indictment."
"But I protest my innocence," re
plied the prisoner. "The indictment
reads that I did shoot and kill the
gentleman with powder and a leaden
. bullet. This is a mistake. I had no
; bullets at the time, so I loaded my
i gun with powder and a horseshoe nail."
"That, indeed, alters the case," said
the judge. "The indictment said
bullet when it should have said nail.
You are discharged, sir."— Ark-an*aw
Traveler,
—Subscribe tor lbs CKHTKE DKMOCEAT
Hor Golden Ilalr.
Mr. Bimkius was cngagod to the
I' lovely golilcii buiretl Miss Wegg. Out*
. day an en violin female told Mr. Birn
• kitiH that liia lady-love dyed her hair.
That night Mr. Bimkinn paid to Minn
i Wegg:
"Mamie, my own, Home one told me
( to day that your hair wua dyed.''
, "It is false," retorted his sweetheart
warmly.
! They were married shortly after
wards, and when Mamie took off her
wig and hung it over the back of the
chair, Simkins expostulated and re
mindid her of their conversation. .
"I said theu it was false,'' said his
spouse.
They will be divorced in autumn.
A Cranky Ktckor
"IMease, sir," said the bell boy to a
Market street hotel clerk, "No. .'5O says
there ain't no towel in his room."
"Tell him to use one of the window
1 curtains."
"He says, too, there ain't no pillars."
"Tell him to put bis vest under his
head."
"And he wants a pitcher of water."
"Suffering Cyrus! But he's the
worst kicker 1 ever struck in my life.
Carry him up the horse pail."
"He wants to know if he can have
a light."
"Here, confound him! Hive him
this lantern, and a*k him if he wants
the earth, and if he'll have it fried on
| only one side or turned over?"
Estimating Wealth.
"Ma, you know those Newcomers
arrow the wuy that we have all been
afraid to call on lecaue their furni
ture arrived at night, and we couldn't
tell whether it was nice or not?"
"Yea, and they always keep the cur
tains so near closed that not a soul
ha lieen able to get a glimpse of the
rooms.''
"None of the ncigh!>or have called
on them yet, ha#e they?"
"No." '
"Well, we better go over, because if
we keep on snubbing them they may
turn around and snub us."
"But why do you think so?"
"Their servant girl was in Cash A
<Vs tea store this morning. She!
bought n pound of lea, nnd when the ■
clerk handed her a glorious chromo.
she turned up her nos< at it l'hila. '
Gill.
Appealing to Ooorgo.
A young lady visiting Vallejo, C'al.,
is quite sweet on a certain young jour
nalist. One morning the pair started '
i out for a long ramble over the Contra
Costa hills. Being gone all day, they 1
were completely worn out and fatigued.
The young lady and gentleman were
met by a party of their friends S H.II
after their return, and were a-ked what
kind of a time they had. Now, the
young lnly ha- n very unhandy habit
of proving any aaee rtion she may
make by appealing to any friend that
she happens tp have with her at the
time. 80, as usual, away she went, ,
and answered the inquiry as follows: ,
"Ob, we had a fine time. But climb
ing over rock* and bushes has made
me black and blue all over, haau't it,
George?" (appealing to the young
man who had gone out with her.)
George said emphatically that he'd be
hanged if he knew anything about it,
and now that young couple get no rest
from the chaffing of their friends.
Curioua Verdicts.
For ways that are dark and tricks
that are vain commend us to the petit
juror. He is past all finding out. He
is often more expeditious than wise.
It is not an uncommon thing for him
to arrive at a verdict that is decided
by the cast of a die. In this blind
way justice some times gets her just
deserts. Many amusing incidents are
told of odd verdicts brought in hy the
modern juror, who is wonderfully and
fearfully made. Probably the most
quaint specimen of agreement ever
arrived at by twelve men was the ver
dict brought in by a jury at the city
of Abeline, Kan., when that howling
wildeaness was in its brightest bloom.
It read : "Jerked to Jesus by a mule!"
Mr. EH Perkins, who has given the
verdict business careful study, culls
the following queer specimens from
his memorandum :
A Kansas jury gave the following
verdict in a case where a man died in
estate of intoxication: "Death by
hanging—round a rum shop.''
An Indiana jury recently returned
a written verdict of: "Blodc to peces
i * *
* i m
hi the biler bustin'."
"Jury,"' said a western judge, "you
kin go out and find a verdict. If you
can't find one of your own, get the
one the last jury used." The jury r> •
turned with a verdict of "Suicide in
the ninth degree."
A Rhode Island jury were five days
debating on n long case involving u
bog worth 87, and theu came in, found
the bog not guilty, and recommended
both the plaintiff and defendant to
. the mercy of the court.
, A I'ckin, 111., coroner's jury ren
. dercd the very singular verdict, that H
man whose body wus found in the
i river cumc to bis death by a blow on
the bead, "which was given cither be
fore or after the drowning."— Chieayo
Eye.
In a Leather Dug
One of the gaily-painted mail
wagons which ply between the post
office, and the various depots nod
which continually remind the pedes
trian of the greatest show on earth,
was down at the Union depot the other
day, when u stranger looked it cart
fully over and inquired of a police
man :
Circus in town ?
N , not exactly.
What sort of an animal have they
got in there ?
Can't yon read ?
I can, when 1 am to hum, hut this
snow kinder blind* me.
Well, it is a dodo, I believe.
And where are they going to take
him ?
Oh, up town a piece. If you follow
the wagon you will be apt to see liirn
unloaded.
I believe I will. I have not seen
one of those animals siuce I wo* a boy,
and if there are no charge for it I
might a* well take a squint.
He followed the wagon at a trot
and was altsent about half an hour.
When he returned the officer akr<l
Well, did you see the dodo?
No, not a hair of him, was the ilia
gu-ted reply, I got all ready to, but
be banged if they didn't have him in
a leather hag.
A JO! UNO*, I have a stitch in mv
| side.
lam not surprised, my dear. You
j were hemmed in by the crowd at the
party lat night.
No; I think I got it while hasting
the turkey.
You tuck too much pains ovi r it.
Algernon; why will you persist in
ruffling my temper in this way ?
M rely a bia- 1 potion of y u- and
i fur below tnv intentions.
"
Didn't Steal.
"Gentlemen," s 'id *n Ark tntaw t Jslonel
•C* tie stood under lIIH limb of A tre<
from which depended a rope. "t most 1
! prot<-t my innocence. I did not steal
the mule, I am above petty theft. I j
know that jrovi all have the interest of j
( tbo omunity at heart, and I don't (
( blame you {but there are timet when i
,we are all liable to be too rab. It I j
. had stolen the mule ray guilt would op i
press me until I would beg to be put
out of the world in the mo-t summary
way."
"The mule was found in y >ur p°*
session," aaid the leader of tbe mob.
"Very true, my dear air."
"IHd he jump into your lot?
"No,sir; I conducted him to the con
finea of my premisee."
"Hid you buy tbe animali
"No, sir."
"lid you trade for bim T"
"I did not."
"Than you atole him. l-et down tha
rope, boys."
"Gent letnan, 1 hope you will give
me a chance to explain. The mule in
question wsa tbe property of our dis
tinguished fellow citisen, Maj. Kug
lesberry. Some lime ago the Major
and I exchanged a few words of uncom
plimentary nature. I intimated that
the Major's blood would l>e highly sat
isfactory to me, and the Major said
that my gore would please him mightly
Well we separated, thoroughly agreeing
with each other. Tbe next day the
Mqjor and I met. I got what is
vulgarly called the drop on him, and
relieved him of the top of hi head.
He was riding a mule at the time, and
when he fell off I saw that be no longer
had any practical use for tbe animal, so i
I took charge of bim. Now, if I had
dismounted in the way he did 1 should
he interposed no oljjeetion on the
Major's taking my horse."
"1 hope sir. that you will excuse us,"
replied the leader of the mob. "I
thought that you stole the mule. Your
explanation is most satisfactory, and t
hope you'll excuse us, bet us all take
a drink !" Arkaiuiw Trm.'tr,
IS)!
WITH
€O R W
!i<j cm be ruinl )tboul p*Jt* of ih"sbretii6c
U tot Ih" email tutu of
15 Fifteen Cents 15
0 BV CM SO TIIK
EUREKA Corn CURE
•OLD OSI.Y AT
GREEN'S PHARMACY,
' | Bush House Block,
HELLEFuNTE, FA.
, I.literal to Men hauls
It. (Jurman it .Sou 'a .Vo storr. h
f<3l
Gorman & Son.
i, \ i> i i: ,
<lo not think, because the cuu repre
sent only gentlemen's war, that we
have not been particularly car<ful to
select an elegant line of g<xxls especi
ally suited to you. You will find it
to your advantage to call and if we
are not able to supply you from our
choice and varied stock, it will Ire a
a small matter for u* to order uhat you
may need. We think we are better able
to meet your want* than any store in
Belicfonte. f
I I/lII i ,f Co., Mrr< hnnt'i, Allfjhcny-St., 11,11.fontr, J'n.
SN IPS FOR YOU !
— 1 —(O)
j"l'R WAY of Soiling off A LARGE WINTER STOCK
AT SHORT NOTIC'
$40,000 Worth of Dry Goods
Clothing, Boots and Shoes, Hats and Caps
Ac. -it almo*! half pi;ci- IJ> #ii this through to the end: there ts something
I that will strike you.
Then oomo with your sbeckela. Co me soon because we will offer something
at lethsn we can raj lace them for after they me nil sold. We can't pick up
such t-argsin* every day. dust some chances.
W.d Ht*''*-!-*! r tar IV-aa too:- Ur i jwd, Awsten Wr.
*r thr |..i Vaiard
Oaotidaf c *od Qdaabaaw ....... ?cayard.
Onn lot of Iml Olßftiui* Sr a jnrd
W hltn Bod Sprnod- . 4U
Castes Vianrinla ......... at a yard.
Be* <V teas .. Sr a yard
Beat etiirtlatr- ... s and Sr a yard.
Plait flawa-ln . lias yard.
Rod Tall- Una lvoyard.
t<ngMa*Hllll OKKW I'rayard.
Atl-oocd Rlark and Qoiurod Uaabtnorm , 37c a yard.
Rod Plaid VTanorla I<* a yard.
t*dle'O-aaawrr. _ .... .... Stc,
All-w,>n! Cwliawa. Blatk aad o.lornd. at laaal 1 I baa asynhrrn alar.
Plaid Drraa Oenda . *. t and l(k a yard
Apt.laden A Wnalln ... .... 7 I 3r a yard.
all word Vlannala from • 14r np
Onr Kslia Qnality Bla'k ailk at So aad 7Sc. Klaaakara fl (Si and 1 2*
Ona lot Xilra (Jnallty IllarS WIS tt 00 Klaawharr |! SO
Una lot Kllra Sap-rb Qnality Blarli Silk 1 24. " 2 90
Ona lot batra Ilaary Sapwb Quality Illark Silk I 7S. " 5 d 3 OC I
Celnra-1 Sllka. Kitra llaaty, 7V,ia all tka saw abadaa
Cnlernd Silka from ...... ... Mtr a yard ap.
An w andaopntlnr fialily alltdlk aaila Rbndrma 74c. City prlra 1 "O
TW- stiaal qnality I 1-2 yd width all wool limaa (l.dh aad Plaaaal tl On par yd Satnr qaal alaanbara 124
Silk Plmhaa frenn .4c sp.
Silk Valrrtr from ....... ...... Lao aad 1 ap,
Yataaiaan frota . ... X4r ap.
('nlnrad Blankafa frnn. ... .... 74rapairap,
WMta Blank-ta tbMr. ..... I IB a pair ap.
t'ndarablita and Dmwara from 20r ap
ledtaa'H'wa d pair for XV
CBltdl ati't tlaaa 4 pair (* . ttr
Man>B*k*d |>lr f r .. fSa
MrnN Wool llnaa IV. Rlaanharr 30r
Man'a Vary Finn Saamlaaa all wrnd Hoar ..a—....... IV a pair
JShoex at Oiv-llalf Price.
ladlao'Sboaa.fnnd A Calf ...... I on fo pair
• Calf Skin IB pi pair
CbitdranN Sb.ma BV SO and ddr a pair
La-Haa' Ballon Shnnnfmaa. • ... 1 n prtpalrap
Lndiaa'Ballon Sboaa. Plnaat Qaailty,... ... v . —. ... 1 40 a pair
lanHoa" Bnllon Shrwa. Brat Qnailt}, warranted t SQ and 2 00 7
Uadlna' BnUon Sboaa. pranrb Ktd 1 >' to * .10. Wrl,M. baat Bori,iwtai maka
tdan'n Uaary Wlatat Panta 74c,(t On, 114 and I f-ipar call
Chlldtna'n Snlta (Vntn 100 np. Boy'a Orarr-oata. Boy't Otarroata
Maa'aOrnrroata I 00. < t,d Ml. 400 np Man'a All-wool Sail* IVran HO np
1 Jlan't Vina Bmtn 2 00a pair. Man'a A llaary Boot IMa pair. Boy'a Bo.f I OS aad 124 par pair
ld|aa' Cantor nnd Kid fllorra Xfw a fwlr. Madi.s Onador Black (Moraa Iboni Jwc ap.
Man'a Haary BIM k IHoVna from 74r ap.
Ladlaa* and CblldmnN Botnuna, Ulatara, (Xrralara, Ik- Imrpaad Stork, and aaaikad down 84 par mat- ftww
last aaoatb'a pirw
W- bar* no apaoa to m-nllon all tba bargmiwa wa bara hi wa ham PariV Ttsaaald Dollar's
Wortli Stork Whkt. tdtall(to fa tba salt Thirty Days t alaanrt ball |a'ea.
SEXD FOR SAMPLES.
Oallcn na aad Sam Moray. Wonny Rctwraa-I If pnrrbaaa ao) aatlat*. tary.
LYON t0 CO.
Bellefontot Pa.