Pock's Bad Boy.
Ills CHUM HAS HOT RHEUMATIZ, \ND
THE BOY TEI.Ui THE GROCERY
MAN ABOUT IT.
now, what is your lip hang
ing down that way lor?" said the
groceryniau to the bad hoy as he came
in with an expression ou his face of
sorrow, such as the grocery man had
not seen before. "Brace up now and
have some style about you. What's
the matter?"
"Nothing the matter with me," said
tho boy, as he looked around the
grocery to see if he couldn't find
something that would taste good to a
sick boy. "I am all hunky, but my
chum has got the rheumatiz."
"Well, that don't hurt you,does it?' 1
sahl the groceryman, with one of his
heartless expressions. "\ou don't
want to grunt until you arc hurt your
elf. There is time enough for you to
1,0 limping around when you get sick
yourself I dou't believe iu worrying
when anybody else is siek.'
• Well, you heartless old cuss you.
You never hail a chum, did you .' It
you ever had a chum that you loved,
that had stood by you in all kinds of
weather, who would work his finger
nails oil' for you, and go without eat
ing and sleeping to make you happy,
you could never talk that way. My
chum is just as tebdaa as a woman,
though ho was strong as a giant atore
the rheumatiz struck him, and now he
is as weak as a little tiny baby, and
we have to handle him just as though
he was eggs. Every bone, and muscle,
aud drop of blood, and piece of skin
about his body is just like inu s neural
gia, aud sometimes they all ache n!
once, and then the* take turns aching,
and my chum lays there and takes it
as calmly as though he was at a picnic,
aud never grumbles. He smiles his
great big old fashioned smile when he
sees me looking ovtr the foot-hoard of
his bed, and when I go up and put my
hand on his face, and wipe the perspi
ration off his forehead, the tears e .me
rolling down his cheeks, and he tries
to raise his helpless hand to shake
mine,but,be can't, a..d he says,' Hello,
old pard,' ami then he shuts his eyes
and the rheumatiz commences where
it left off and goes to grinding him up
again. Gosh, if I could pull off my
shirt and things and get into his bed
aud take his place, and let the rheu
matiz get iu its work ou me for a day,
while my chum might go out aud slide
down hill or kick over a few barrel-,
and feel bully for a while, I would eu
joy it. But you can't change works
with a fellow that has got rheumatiz.
Never hud it, did you ? '
"No, I never had it,' said the gro
ccrvman, "hut I had a brother-in-law
who had it once, but be cured himself
eating snow.
"O, get out," said the boy. "Since
my chum has hu rheumatiz, every
old crank has told me a new cure for
it, and I think I will try some new
remedy on him, but when 1 go to his
room, and see the good doctor who has
been brought up amongst rheumatiz,
and tell him ol the new remedy I have
heard of, aud he tells me it is all noil
that settles it. The idea of
curing rheumatiz eating snow 1 Say,
i-u't it queer about catching rheuma
tiz? It is like a lottery. Forty fel
lows may have the same chance to
draw a rheumatic prize, and only one
gets it sawed off onto him. Now me
and my chum were both in the same
• Itait of air, aud both had a right to
• atch the rheumatiz. All I got was
wind on my stomach, and I slodedowu
hill head first, on my sled, and the
rheumatiz has all blowcd away from
uie. My chum went riding in a coupay,
and he got it. Sliding down hill
knocks rheumatiz better thau eating
snow. Hay, I would like to run this
world for about a month. By gosh, I
would arrange it so nobody hut the
mean people would he sick. It seems
too bad to have these painful diseases
strike the best people in the world,
dou't it? If I had the running of
mugs, rheumatic should never attack
such a go ul fellow as my chum. I
would have it lay for the thieves, and
-ami-baggers, and murderers,and high,
way robbers, and wife beaters, and old
sharks that never do any good nobow
and keep its claws ofl,of folks that
never did any harm, and always had
a kind word for everybody. But these
diseases seem to have their traps set
for the best people, and tho thievis
and the burglars are the healthiest of
the lot If things were ruu right
4"
rheumatiz ought to he n detective that
, would catch a horsethief, just as ho
was stealing the horse, and make him
drop the halter and send for u doctor.
If I was bossing rheumatiz I would
- have it paralyze the arm of the man
e about to commit murder or whip his
3 wife, and lay him out colder than a
I wedge. 1 would have rheumatiz act
I as a reformatory agent instead of going
I around careless and picking on to
i thoroughbreds. I would have it watch
u mean man, when ho was going to do
I something mean, and tnke hold of him
! and give his muscles a twist, and then
I let up, and if he kept on, take him by
i the neck nnd double him up and make
him yell. But I must go nnd do my
chum's chores for his ma, and then go
and sit up with him. It is singular
how my chum knows when I am coin
ing, and how the pain begius to go
away when I am there. I think it
, would do you good to love some one,
old man, some one that was sick some,
times, to whom your presence would
be a sort of a heaven. If you loved
anybody so that the touch of your
. hand would drive away pain, and the
light of your eye would seem like a
. benediction, and you could cheer your
friend by your light footfall on the
carpet,and drive away nervousness by
: the sound of your voice, and cause
! happiness to tnke the place of misery
when you were around, you would not
ho half as mean as you are now, and
you wouldn't go off in the dark and
hate yourself as you do now. What
you got in this ranch that would taste
good to a feller that hain't got no
appetite ?"
"0,1 don't know," said the grocery
man, "unless you try sonic of thotle
dried apples, dried by steam."
"That is a specimen of the way you
would treat a chum if you had one
who was sirk. You would fire dried
apples down him. You maketuc tired.
Haven't you got any Malaga grap<--
!or Florida oranges ? Nothing but
dried apple* and prunes. Bah !" and
the boy went off to stay by his chum.
Flor Flamoa.
"Bridget why did you remain up so
late la-t night ?" asked the lady of the
I evening. j 1
"E- '■ rrn, mum I 'Twns not late at
all, ui all, when I was after retiring.;
Sure 'twas airly."
"Yes, indeed ; early this morning."
".Sure an' ye* are telling the truth
galore, mum?"
"But why did you remain up nearly
all night?"
"That's pliat I'll l>e afthcr telling
I ye* now, runm. Faith an'there IH<*
; so many o'thitn con —config—-(phat
d'you call 'em?; onllagcr-alions
j latily that its afraid logo to me hoi I
I was, uutirely, for fare I'd be cremated,
; so 1 just thought I'd watch the fire
till the morning'. Sure it's me duty. • j
' But what wu- the young man do
i
"Ob, go long wid ycz. Faith an'
i j isn't hu the spaik Is afthcr watching."
From Toxaa
"You ought to see our moon, said
the young lady from Texas at the
(mauling house table. "\\ hv we have
moonlight nights all the time, not just
once in a while as you do hero."
There was a painful silence over
this, and the empty border at the foot
of the table called for more pancakes.
"And you should just sec our stars,"
pursued the fair astronomer. "They
are much larger and brighter than
yours,'and they look as if they were
( just pinned to the sky."
"We nail ours on," said the thirsty
youth next to the milk pitcher, and
closed the discussion for the season.
' Sold Again.
[ "Dost lovo me, Robert ?"
I "Dost I? Do you think I'd conic
, here every night I can possibly get
, hero and kiss you until my lips give
„ out, if I didn't love you ?"
"Ah, hut that's just what a former
f lover once said to me, and where is he
. now? Married to another girl t Oh!
I you men are so faithless!"
1 "No wonder you think so," said
, j Robert, as he slowly picked up his hat
j and begged to he excused.
' HI.A NO is always objectionable. In
-1 stead of saying "a dead give away
' you should say "a posthumous dona
p lion.'*
CHICAGO is disgusted with Italian
opera. In that city the hag instead
' of the monkey roust dance around tho
t organ.
Snakos.
1 "Do you suppose they will ever get
HO that they ean train makes?" aakeri
one of the party, after the long pause
that followed an account of how a
Wisconsin woman had caught a rattle
snako by setting her husband's fulse
teeth for him.
"I know of a case," said the man
from Michigan. "A friend of mine
out in the lumber derricks found one
in his pocket one day and sewed the
pocket up until the snake was nigh
starved. Then he let him out and
fed him, and after that the Hiiake
would do anything he told him to.
He used to hunt deer with that snake.
Hc'il Lty for the deer, and as soon as
it hove in sight he'd set that snake
after it, and the cussed snake would
jump through the deer's eyes and kill
him dead !"
"I've hearn of it beiu' done," as
sented the lowa man. "When 1 was
in the mines my chum lit onto one au
brought him heme. The snake took
to him from the start, and in less thnn
a week he had the varmint drawing
water."
"Ilow'd he work it?" demanded the
Michigan man.
"I never knew the rights of it," re
plied the lowa man. "You know,
when we wore diggin' we didn't have
no time to waste. If a man got dry
he grudged the time to take a drink
of water. He'd rather go dry. But ,
this chum of mine fixed things so that i
he had no trouble in keopin' wet all .
the t me. The snnke would go off and |
fill himself up with water, and then j
he would come back and bite this
chum of mine. The snake had ar
ranged himself so that he didn't sijuirt
any venom through his fangs, only
pure water, and a- -oon as he unloaded,
off he went for more. He got so j
affectionate he almost drowned my
friend one day, and chummy had to
put him to d< ath !"
"I had one," said the Illinois man, ■
"who was the l est ami wust snnke I
ev r seen. One end of him was all
off. ami the other was the moral busi
ness in that neck o' the woods. The
wust of him was he'd steal things
around the house, bat when the tail
end caught the mouth at any crooked
business, it would rattle, and we al
ways got (hi re before lie coobl get
away with the g< ds. You ought t
see the grateful wag of that tail when
! the mouth got left 1"
"How did the mouth stand it?' 1
nsknl the lowa mnn.
"The mouth used to get mad," re. i
pli< 1 the Illinois man ; ' but it couldn't
I lute unless it stood up on its tail, and
' the tail wouldn't have it!"
"(Jot him yet?" asked the Michigan I
i man.
"No, lie back-capped us, and we bad
;to kill him. One day lie got caught,
as usual, ami turned around and bit
bis tail short off. That settled it, and .
wc rammed him into a rifle and shot j
a sheriff with him."
"I had one a good many years ago,"
observed the Texan, "but lie got into
all kinds o' mischief, and we didn't
lake no cmfort with him. He used
to ciawl into the chicken* and eat the
giblets, so there weren't nothing left
to make gravy when we had a roast.
As soon as a hen opened her mouth,
in lie went, and he'd stay there until
he'd eat out the crop, and heart, and
gizzard and kidneys, and all them
things. The hens would lay well
enough, but we had no choice parts
when it came to cooking."
"Yon never can tell what they are
going to do," smiled the Navada man.
"My brother brought one up from j
Arizona, wanted him for the children
to play with. He slept in the clock
nights, 'cause he liked to feel the works
scratch bis back. It sort o' soothed
him. But we noticed the most curious
thing about his rattles. Sometimes
they would be bigger than lie was, and
then again he wouldn't have but one
or two litilo one* that wasn't no good
to a snake of bis size. When he had
the 'bigs,' as we called it, he was the
best natured snake in the town, but
when they were small, there was no
getting close to him."
"How did you account for thechange
in the rattles f asked the Texan.
"It was a long time liefore we got
onto it," the Nevada man*
Where d'ye think wo found that snake!
lie was out in the woods, playing
seven Up with three other snakes for
rattles, and when we captured him he
was a hnshel of rattles ahead, had
caught the jack, and held the aoe and
low in his hand !"
"Who pnys for those drink- gentle
I men?" inquired the barkeeper solemn'
.
And then they got up and wandered
out and were seen of men no more.
WeriTwith Him.
When General Haticock passed
through Little Rock recently, he was
approached by a lean old fellow who
usketl :
"An* air you the man what run for
president ?"
"Yes," the general replied, lifting
his double chin.
"But they put it on yer, didn't
they?"
"I believe tliey did," replied the
general, letting his chin down.
"Wull I wanter say this, general.
Yer fit me an' my hoys dtirin' the wah,
hut dinged if we nin't with yer. When
my boys lnard that yer was corn in'
through, they said to me, 'pap,' savs
they, 'go ter town an' ef yer see the
gineral tell him that we are with him.'
An' say, general, the Himmons boys fit
yer but they're with yer," and a the
train moved off the old fellow yelled:
"Bay, general, tell yer folks that wo
air with yer."
A Tired Woman's Epitaph
"Yes," she sighed, "the world is
hard, especially lo the poor. I often
i that the good people who enle •
) ize work so highly do not know much
| of over work."
"Quits true,'* assented Mr- -tthcron.
j ''l'oor Hsrsh Dempster, yonder, -he
! pointed to a neighboring tombstone,
was ofyour opinion ; her epitaph, unlike
thoso of most of us, | lints her life as il
really ws. If you never read it, it
worth your while to do so."
The tomb-tone sto d in s n gl<- t—l .
ner of the church yard, overgrown with
: nettles and long pra-"--, but its in-rri
' *ion wn still legible.
I -Iters lira p.r antnan. abn at*aye *• lit.-l
11 r lee I a-rds t-n rartti !•. "Own fii-tela, t tt
jelea
wt.cf. aael.ii.jr slot n<.r 1 .- I >■
Snienriiii! . t I. n-> •ell.*,
'.• l.rl Ih* -l-ta'l est there • ' • asbln* | ..'bee
1 | , I a'.l - - - - • '
j 11 ;l, bSTIBIf B • ' 1C 111 S- 'I'M • f tb*ll>lb*.
1- lit in mo bi *• !■ •, : n't IB *it ti (r mi
I Brier.
j I'm tun* BoOitaS f t'Bt sr.' sr."
"That may not bo j oetry," ol -trved
Mr-. .hersn. with ur.< n-ci pla. i
risni, "but it's true. There i* nohting
much worsa than overwork. < i<i <
/' vn i' L yman • M<.
Too Pnrticnlnr for Him.
"What church do you belong to
n-iw, Abe?" was asked of a co! rid
gentleman.
: "MetrodUt, sab.
I "Why, no lunger ago than lost Bun
f .lay you were a Baptist? '
"Yax, sah."
"What nude you change ?'
"'Ca-e da g I ti high up fur me,
; liv-. "W'y, -ah, dc preacher made a ,
-tatenieut, an' I gut up a:: 1 < n nl him
' ,i liar, ati'da tuik me tir law 'bout it.
I>a said dat I oughtcr said dat he
I didn't tell tie truf, l ut tor -ave ne I
jkain'tcll de difference twixt sutbin'
what ain't true an' er lie. -t> I thought
ef da wn- gwine ter le so pnrticular t
I'd go obcr ter de udder church whar
n man ken slosh er 'rotin' nachul.
Bt BIEt) AXOTIIEII. —"1 see," said
Mr. Toiuliuson, turning front hi- news
paper and addressing his letter two"
thirds, "that old man Grittlc ha*
buried another wife."
"What, you don't say so? Why,
hU first wife only died two weeks ago.
When did he marry ngain?"
"He hasn't niarritd again."
"Tomlinson, are you a fool V
"Presumably, my dear, but why this
outburst ? firettlc lias buried another
man's wife. He is an undertaker,you
know."
Ay Indiana editor was sued for
breach of promise, but when he ex
plained that the girl hail a mania for
making scrap quilts, the court excuses!
him and imposed the cost on the
plaintiff.
A WRITES of natuial history says
that he is at a loss to discover bow
long a dog lives. This should no!
on use perplexity, s the average dog
generally lives until he dies.
EVERY effort to invent n cotton
picking machine has provul untuc
i-csaful. The last machine, invented
ly an Arkansaw man, tore off the
operator's clothes, threw him over a
fence, and then hobbled off like a
wounded grasshopper.
TUB life of a Kentuckian has boon
shortened by tobacco. A hogshead ol
the weed fell on him and crushed him
out of symmetrical proportions. It
cannot he denied that tobacco hi lnrge
quantities is injurious.
\
IIIIS
WITH
CORKS t
f TI itil s i 'if *■'! without | <. t n.i ou\ •t. ui.' >
I f t tli small sum of
15 Fifteen Cents 15
a BY tlsmo TI IK
EUREKA Com CURE
' SOLI) OX LIT AT
; GREEN'S PHARMACY,
UUHII House Block,
HKLLKFoXTK, PA.
i Liberal Discount to Menhanls,
h. (tannin ,1 Son '* .Veto Store.
K3j KkwS <
.• D.Garman Son.
it A i> i i:%,
do not think, beeau-i- th- cut- re; re*
-•lit only gentlemen's wear, that we
have not been particularly careful to
"loot nn elegant line of good* especi
ally -uiled to you. You will find it
to your advantage to call and if w
are not able to supply y.u from our
choice and varied -lock, it will !>e a
a -mall matter fi.r us to order what you
may need. We think w> ar.- L ttcr able
to meet y< • r wants than any store ic
Bdlefonte. #
lU.'-M %
I. >J on .1 Co., I ferrhantAtUyht ny-St., litlhfonte, /■.
kPS von YOU !
(o j
OI'R WAY of Selling off A LARGE WINTER STOCK
AT SEOET NOTICE.
A
$40,000 Worth of Dry Goods f
Clothing, Roots and Shoes, Hats and Caps, J
'' dawst bait prist Ib-a<t |L; thrrurh Us lbs < id: there is aometbing /
that will strike you. I
Tt.en r roe w h your ■!,< UcU C-me '--on berau-c we will ctfbr something '
at Je* than we ran rrj-lace lhani f-.r after they are all sold. We can't pick ujy^
such bargains every day. Just some chances. j
*ool ft. --M Via* Dtm>ObiO. I: , . ,r*.. j. r--*
*r lt>S !"l
Ori la*.' pel l. 'nihltw . . ...... ?r a , M<L I
I.lr-f I-e.l lllßgltsm. . . I tt B.M'l.
WBMa .. :< I
i BBtm nB:-l- ... <*ysH. /
MuNo um. UrBTB-d. f
|ii-.i s,.irt< ur , ... ....... S an* • s jrti l.
PUI4 H.8T..-IS - ... !'• • jsrJ, I
Set T*M- Upsfi .... 18-1 firt. /
l--ql-l- l4Ui OasSwsrss. Ocarar*.
,M w-1 filrS *nif lvlor*-t lla-Hm-r-* .... T. a .*r*. / g
H-i Pt*i<l I'Ur.n.is McaywS. J
•. -WSM* .... . M
All w.nl i'mIIBIM**. Ill*, k mlnr-4. SI I.*I Kl itun sayohsrs .1—
Pl.ll Itp iM... ' • ,u4 llsr s ;r<f
AnM-ii A MIBIIs. ™ ....... TlJf* jr4. I
K>4 all •<— I risnli from ... . Ikr np ! iw
0' Ri lt U -slMy IH>-k Silk i . ■'• •t.d T.V-. LU. lii'fl "O i-l 1 / .
l, lot Xnr. Qoslll. ftlMk H,lk II SO snh#.flkO \
<>II 1..1 r,lt-nf-ft. yn*)IIT ai*nk Silk I 2i. "I r
.Hi* Inl Kira llnsvy Supsrl'Quslfty Ws<k Wlk. 17*. " I 3 000 30- ,
Olore4 Silk*. Ktr ll*y. rv.| all U>*
tv.|nre4 Silks fmro Mr • *sr4 |>.
A n* SB4 soporint inslily sll silk -atln Hlk-lIBH ... Tfcr City 1 ho
Th Sn*l -(tslily I I-7 y4 !4tli all wnol t>r**s Clclh sn4 Plann*! II Iki per *4 Hubs <jo*l !• kw I J *
Silk riß-hr* from —___ t.V af
Silk VI*M, Inim I D sod 1 r.
Vlrotem from - ... Sir Bp
Colored W,r.k- from. TSr pair up.
Wtillo niaiikrt* frnm 1 a jmlt of.
Cade rati IrV sad Irs*t* from ™._. tPr np
l*4; II. pair fit . r-
IWlMrrm's Hoaa I pair fit - Sir -
Wo', ft-k> I pair S>r .... JSo
M-*- Wool Una- ... ... Ic, Klm.aHrr-.WB
MMI'S Vary Slur Sramlms all-weid Hoar ...0... ... . l*e a pair
Shoe# at One. Ifnlf Price.
Ladle*' Sfcor*. good A Calf 1 '>> p.-r |.,lr
" ' I'aKSklri 1 SS |or pair
Childron-s Slo— • and Mr a pslr
1..1|.r' llnttoe Shnr* from - ... I< pet pair Bp
Indl*-' UtiIIOB Shoea. Pl'.eel lynalllr I Ml a pair
Lm'te*' Bnftoa Shoe*. I Wat l|aalltj. •* trained 1 M and t •
indies'ftttiu-n Shone, Prenrh KM I .Vl to S An Wright's bM Oe<h<*M maka,
I Me* a Ueaey W inter I'aate '.fa, |l go, ISS and I Mper flr
Clilldren'r Stttft fhom lon op Sa'tOirtnatH ftoyhi Orrmwt*. 4
M-*'s tleetmats S On, I (W, I M, AOttup. Mtt'e All-wool Smte fi.-m * 'W Bp
Men's Pine fhttdrim a pail. Rett's A Hieary Sal I >di|*|t. ftoy'r Wants I m and 1 71 per j alr
teultea- OMMr and Kid C.lo.ee %'t a |*r. Men,- Ch-Ktr Hia<k til't ea ft to. .• up.
. Men'a lleary ftt'k fltnvea from TSr op
Ladiae' and Chlt-lrea'- Uolmaoe, t IMer-, Otrotan. th- latpet Stork, Bad matked doaa ti par real, from
I last month's prirea
I We hare tie specs hi mrt.flon all the l-.rrylne r hare hot *.- fckre For'y Thonanni) Dollar's
Worth Stock ""S-*' l - slmlisolo the B-*I Thirty Day* afaiamsf bail p,<a.
8 END FOll SAMPLES.
' Oallm rts as 4 Rare Money. Maaey Relnraed If pirn bass act aattslai 'ry.
LYON * GO.
I Itcllcfunto, Fit.