Lite €tnixt §mMut. BF.I. LBFONTB, PA. Peek's Bad Boy. NKW AL< I'T OI.H SANTA CI.ACS. "Well, what did you gelt from Santa Olana," asked the groceryman of tho had My A he came in the grocery wi'h a big blue necktie, on which w pinned a piece of beer glass cut in imitation nl a diamond. "Sauta Claus must have remembered you spleudid- Iv," and the grocery man handed the luid boy a sour orange. "O, don't tn'k to me about Snnta I'lau," said the boy, as he hit into tho orange, and then went to the vinegar barrel and drew sumo vinegar in a glass and took a swullow to sweeteu the ta'te of the orange. "Do you know I winder there is a hoy in this , whole world that does not grow up to , be ati ml-el ass liar, when they liuve their parents lie to them the first seven j veers ->t their fives about Wanla Claui ? j What -811 a eldld think, whenTdd it ] j- wicked to lie, and then find out that j i's paren's have been lying to it, about the Santa Claus business. Do you know I have watched for Santa Glaus to ciime down chimneys, and when I a-ked how a big fat fellow could c< me down such a small bole, and through a stove pipe, j a would tell me that , S tota Clans was made of India rubber, n was biowed up, and all ho had to io wits to let the wind out, and then 1 1 he would he small enough to get into i a gimlet hole. When I found that Santa Claus wn* a fraud, and nccu • d \ pa ot deceiving tne, he got hut and said I was t< -mart foi my boots.' j. "O. that is all right, hut what did you sre-t ?" said the groceryman. "I got nice enough things, hut 1 haven't got them now. I traded ot! a lot of mv things for prcs-n:- for smiie b vs down our way, that didn't g t anything. I made a change in the ( liristmos-tree business, at our church. u -ce, iloy have lieen in tin- habit ol gelling all the children t> gctlier tile night before Chri.-tiuas, and hav ing a < hristm.as tree, and il is cruel on the poor chil Iren. The rich parents put ex pen-i vi presents on the tr" - for j llieir children, and the p. r children g"t a ten cent whistle, or a popcorn hall, or an orarge. The poor children liegan to think Santa Claus showed partiality, and that he was in tin em ploy of the ri.h folki.ar.d they were beginning to get sour on Santa Claus, but this time me anil my chum - Id all the presents we got nt home, and went and bought a whole lot of nice things f>r thA j or boys, and vv 1. n ll c man began to distribute the presents, and the poor boys had lh>ir mouths' made up for popcorn hall-, and they got club skates and fur cap®, and nice ' warm mittens, they yelled so the min ister was afraid the church would be pulled a a disorderly h >uo. luv< r ha I so mu- h fun in all my life, as | did to see th >• poor boy* r.ike in the prow nts. All 1 have got left is this ! necktie and lum diamond, but the ' fun I had, makes this forty-rent di> • niond, look a- bright to mo as though it * the kohinoor. Do you know what a kohinoor is? It is the bigge-t dianu nd in the world.'' "That's a good boy," said the gro ceryman. as h haded his eyes to look at the had boj's diamond, and then wet b:s finger on Lis longt/e to fee if il lasted ot aluin. "liut there is one thing I warn to talk to you about. I **w you jump on a hose rart and ride w.th the firemen at the fire Inst night, and your pa said you were hanging arout d the engine bouse a good deal. Now, you want to let up on that. Those fire me Q are pretty tough, and you will be spoiled if you go with them. I wouldn't have anything to do with them, or yon will bring your father's trray hairs in sorrow to the grsve. Firemen are hard citizens." "When was this that firemen were hard citizens?" asked the boy indig nantly. They are just as good clti wna as you are. If your grocery gets on fire down cellar, from the kerosene barrel, what do you do? Do you go down cellar and put it out? Naw, you don't. You grab your insurance policy and light out, and the firemen come and they go right down into the subterranean bell of burning kerosene, aud squirt water till they are over come by the smoke, when their pa rents draw them out by the legs, and others take their places, and they keep up tho fight until your properly is saved, when you come back and kit k because they tip|x*tl over a barrel of apples. They rush into burning build- I ingn and cave the lives of women and I children. Do they do it for pay ? ! Naw ! All they get is seventy-live dollars a mouth, uud you pay that much to tho man who drives your grocery wagon. There is not a fire man who gets ns much salary as a street car conductor, in any city in the country, und tho firemen are the bravest men that live. Why, gol darn you, you haven't got as much sense as a calf." "Jiut.hold on, Hennery. Hear me,' and the groceryman tried to stop the had hoy. "Get out. lam ashamed to know you," says the boy. "You and pa have always told mo that we should honor the brave. How do you do it ? You pay a fireman, who risks his life every lime he runs to a fire, just | enough to board and clothe him, and when he is played out and is sick, he is discharged, aud you forget him. Kvery time an alarm sounds, n fireman takes chances of not getting back to the engine-house alive. He protects your property and your life, and now you tell me he is a bad man. I would like to see you jump up at an ulartn of fire, slide down n pole with your pants half on, and get on an engine and lie driven over a rough pavement half a mile. Your huir would turn gray with fright the first time. I tell you a city ought to pay firemen fair hun dred dollars a month, and pen-iou them when they get their lungs busted, or get broke up, and support their families. Firemen ought t>> be loved and respected, and lionized, instead of having old idjuUcaii them had men,' uud the lmd boy took out his hand kerchief and rubbed up l is diamond and stood on tho front '<;> to flfsh it in the eyi - of his girl a* she came in after n mackerel, but -he di-ln't -re it and he went off feeling hurt, while tho groceryman made up hi mind to send a turkey to ev> rv fire man for N< w Ytar's. llow Ho Got In. The other night at theOjicra H ne an old negro went to the o* ole hlin' it a i go in* r de !. "It won't d > you any go d to go in, • •Id man. You <-an't c anything and there i< n>> talking in this show." "Wall, !emine go in anyway. I I ain't le en tcr a'tainuient iu-o long | I'se hongry fur it." • | "All right, old man, go up-lair-," and ab y WA- calif dto -IK>W the ol 1 fellow to a oat. During the perform ance the manager looked up into the gallery and saw the. old mpro laugh ing "fit to kill himself." Going up and approaching the old filliw th" , nngrv showman aid : "Thought yen wrre blind." "H..lt ?" looking up with n puzzlr 1 ' air. "I say I thought you were blind." "Who, mo?" "Yes. you." "Whut made ycr think dat ?" "Because you said so." "Nor, salt, I didn't. 'I axed ycr if yer'd let a ole hlin' man go inter de show an' yerse'f is do one whut snid I couldn't see." "Well, you'll have to get out of here." "Pah ?" "I say you'll have to get out of here." "Who, me?" "Yea, you." ".Icf* Vase I ain't blino? W'y, man, yer onghtcr be glad dat I ken *e. Yer oughtenter want nobody ter be bline. Jos' lemme stay an* I'll shtt my eye#, durin' do rest o' do show ? Won't do it? Hub, fust man I eber seed what wanted folkes ter lie bline. Oh, I'll go out ef dat'a whut yer's a hintin' at. Wants me ter go jea' case I'se enjoyin' myse'f. Dar's some mighty funny folks in die heah worl' nohow." IT is understood that the girls have adopted the following as their motto for leap year: "If you see what you want, ask for it." " YOITM whiskers are unprofessional,'' said a client to his legal adviser. "Why so?" "Because a lawyer can never be too barefaced." A Very ITard Boiled Egg. A commercial traveler jumped from the train at a small station and shouted to the proprietor of the lunch counter to give him a hard boiled egg and a piece of mince pie. He ate the pie hurriedly, and woo attempting to break the egg when the conductor gave the signal for Parting. "What in Great Ciiar's name is the matter with thin egg?" he yelled. "Is it rotten ?" asked the proprietor. "Rottru? No, but 1 can't make any impression on it, and hern I am as hungry as a wolf and the train half way out of the yard," and lie made u dash for the hack platform of the rear car, which he just succeeded in reach ing. "Well, I'm blowod," said the pro prietor of the lunch counter, poking it with a knife, "if I didn't give the young man a china nest egg to eat. - ' Hih PhKTION Ol T II K Hat ATE.—- ! "Well, old fellow, I hear that your grandmother is dead. 1 ' "Yes," replied "old follow," some what sadly ; "she died yesterday." "It is the way of the world. We must ull die some time, and the old I lady was well advanced in years. She loft a last will and testament, of course? I hove understood that -ho was very we^Jthy." "Oh, yes; she left a will and testa ment.' still more sadly. "You were alwny-a favorite of her-. our nainc was mentioned, of course?" "Yes," he replied, and here the t<-ar began to stream down his cheeks, "n:y name was mentioned. I'm to have the Testament." A F \11; !lar, or I'll r some church, - rt o' trie k on you. There's ximcthing about your eye- that re minds me of llnuio r." "And you look lii AJ itw around . the uioiitli," she -ighel. I hen he In nt over and whisj>ered • methit'g a' • ut Chicago and getting ' martin!, ami she'nedded In head. II- gallon d hi* cli.lnu under hi; w .g, look them into n r r.~r, and * lolemnly and impro-ively observed. | "hildrcn, I'm going t<> git married j to that v, .rnau o\ r thru- and ffivt ' ■ j you a new n. tl, r. If any of _\ < u ,mo ;g' ing to kirk and h-m-hf. > nl ut it. gin now • < tiiat I can tot * ■ id< w t ! i! re the train g - Henry, von RM tl" Upt Are yoa gf lu aven!" , ibin klcd the widower a- he hitched a little nearer. "You let, love ?" she replii d, a she sucked another pi anut with her teeth THE .Japanese believe that the firt man was not Adnni.hut llu Sing, who made his wife out of clay and baked her forty days. Yomn women should not forget that Goliath died from the effects of a hang on his forehead. MINISTER* advise young people to marry for love but want rash down thcmsclvca. "You look well fed. are well dressed and ail that. Must have a good in come, I prcstume ?" "Oh, yea," re plied Kosciusko. "I can't complaiu- I have my salary, $1,500; then I mnkc $5OO a year by my literary labors, that makes $2,000 ; then I run I in debt $l,OOO that makes A single man who couldn't subsist on that ought to be a WE Jr Inalm you l>, con# and km Hi. apl-ndi.) fio of ' -TOOTH BRUSHES !-f Wo have juat received Direct From the Importer, And which wr aro offering VKUY I/)W. Our aim in to "keep the J KffT (JOODS and toll them at CLOSK J'HICKS FOR CASIf, AT 1 GREEN'S PHARMACY, Bush House Block, jT r We have Telephone Connection. It, fSartnun !'• fton'n \nt> store. f^prlv G& rjnnn & son. shffffizQ i, \ i 11:, do not think, because the cut.* repre sent only gentlemen's wear, that we have not l,ur wants than any store in Ikllefontc. BUSH ARCADE, i / •/on .1 to., Mrrrhanti, .if/rt/hrti'/-StJtelfefontr, J'rr. i srv * VHFHK lor ! ■ (O oi R WAY of Selling off A LARGE WINTER STOCK | AT SHORT NOTICE $40,000 "Worth of Dry Goods Clothing, Boots apd Shoes, Hats and' Caps* As. rl rilmet half jr ss It-ad Mrs through to the cn !• there ia something | that will strike jou. Th< n c me with your sli< kel*. Corae soon because we will oflfer something ht less than we cn replace them for after they ate all • Id. W# cau l pick up such bargains every day. .Tut some chances. W„.i| p,w-.i|iu| fin-lim-a tbanla ..... IV a vard, a-laMbnr-30r. Anotlia* IM ... ... .... V K yard. o n „ 1.4 of *val i.>n*l.ami .. Tfayaid. Ons lot of t—l tiin,l.san .... .. '*• i itst l,ii. iv.) ... ..., t* ■ nt„n ClnMk ■* e • wnl. #••1 • m> ...... Scaaard liral Sh|.nn. ....an. Sand f" K yard. piald ll>ata ....... laijaiA HM Tald- Ut". .._ - - 1* s unt ISisbtsntati .... I*. IJ,M. Ali-annd Pn-k and Onlon-d n. „„ . .. Sta a yard. Inl riaSl fltaK.il -l'Vajard. U4W'.| Caabaisiaa, WK< k and i*4nrd al Iraat 1 3 I Osa,.? than aaysbrri *4—, plaid Inn, '■ * and If* a jard. A||.lA* A Mnalin _ ...... ... T l-Sr a yard. M all nnl Piannsla f. m —— .1- l'p. On-Ktlta gm'iit llla.k *Uk at .. 1., ahst ft no and 1 t ' i o,H- M K.iiiagam Walk en* til" IBsswfcws ft M on. b,i Kilra Sop-fl-QnatHy Blark S.lk t 2S. - t ao %a| lln-l,d Ktlra 11-a.i S"|"l'U'ial|ty Ulrk Silk —...... IT'.. " t4 .! V Tk llnasi j-.nlita I l-J yd Wlh all .s>l litwa CS.db and Hnni>s| II on pw d. Sam- anal ah*e 1 9S ""■Aa ' am. Ploatma rraoi TkfWp. Silk A li-i. lim - ._.. I <*' and 1 p, \lvlea(hißi ...... ... - - np. i'..|nsd HtankaAa froaa .™ TVacaJtnp. Whil- nias.|aft,.m ._ . t SA a pair *p. I ndnrvMfts and Prairar* rrmn . W np ldt-n' lima I pair Snt ....... . .—..™.... P tl.on I pair IU . . .... ihr Al-n .a-kil pairfor Mr klnn'i W.l ll. - ■ ... 1*. IO—kr- .■ km i Vnj IIM Snmlm all amA ll* —■ .—•■ • Ikr a pair Shoe# at One-Half Price. I Udisa Hknaa-pwd k Calf . 1 ' J>f* fair ' Call Skin - I K pa naif t CWMino'a Mwm ,nadora pair Ladi-s' Hull..a Ok—a Ifnoi - t l* par pair ap , Udtsa' Bnllim SK.—, Iliwal gnaliiy..™ ...™ I HI a pall LmW Buimn MKKW, Hml Unalltr, warrmntiU 1 So and i Ok L ladlsa Halloa Slw. Prsn. k Kid .._ I Jr> to 1 ,Vi. Wiirkl s b—t Ek*-i maka, Mna'a 11-aay WHilar Pauti t.*. II Da, Its and I knpar pair. 1 Cbildrsa*allafrMol Wtap nnowata. Sny'r rtnnrnaaK Mm a Onatenala 3 qn. 4 on, 4 •. *l ae Maa'a AII *.ml PniU Itma sHO ap * Alna'a Pins Vlirda UOn a pair ki-a'a A lliaty lloat 1 !*a pair. Bi.y'a |bt 100 and 124 p-r jalf- Ladiaa' Oaalar and KM lilt.*— SOe a pair. Mae • CAaaUir Pla-k lUeaan Ibn.di ap. • j (4Wwmw ?&<* , tadlaa' and CHilldraa'a Dnlmaaa. tlai-ra. Clnntara. B Latfani (Wnrk, aad aaaiksd de*n *1 pre cant, fraaa laal moib*a prima. f W- l.aTa IH> apac- to tnanUon all Ilia. 1 arnJM w ba— bat * baa- Forty Tkowaaswd Dollar'* i , Worth Stock hkb abalt *t> ia iba an Tklrty Days •< aJtaow naif pd. 9 SKXD FOR SAMPLES. I ra'l on at nad *ava M ny Mmmj *lnra-d If p*i. kaaa net aallafertnry. ; L llt'llf fonto, Fa.