Ot Crntre Iftnwvnt BELLEFONTE, PA Peck's Bnd Boy. "Say, roister," ?*iJ t l>o Bail boy to the grocery inau. as he came in bury ing his face in a California pear, "it is mighty kind of you to give away such nice pears as these." "What's that," said the grocery man turning pale ami starting lor the door, where lie found a wooilsawycr taking a pear. "Uet away from there," and ho drove the woodeawyer away and caroe in with a sign in liis hauii, on which was printed, "Take one." "I painted that -ign and put it on a pile of chromes of a new clothes wringer, for people to take one, and bv gum, the wind lots blowed that sign over on the basket nt pears and I suppose every darn fol the hoy, ' I havi quit ull kinds ol toolishuess, ami wouldn't play a joke on u graven image. lint I went to the Sullivan boxing luateli ull the same though. "O," say." said the grocery roan, "there is a rumor that your minister is a reformed priz • tighter, and nn ohl maid that was in In-re yesterday sat he has been lighting with your pa. Du you know anything about it'.'' "Know anyiliiug ah tit it ? I know all about it. it was me that brought about the meeting between them. You nee, me and my chum have a set of boxing gloves, and we go down in the laundry in the ha-o neiii and box with each other evenings. List night the minister called to ta'k with pa, ami they heard u dowu stairs warming each other with the gloves, and pu sunt the tioys were having a little inno cent amusement with boxing gloves, and he asked the minister if lie thought there wus any harm in it, and the minister said he didn't think there was. He said that when he was in college the students used to box in the gym nasium every day and lie enjoyed it very much and got so he didn't taken back seat for any of them. Pa asked the minister it he wouldn't like to go down cellar and see the boys box. ami he said he didn't mind. Me and mv chum boxed a couple of rounds, ami the minister told us where we made several mistakes, and then pa got ex cited and wanted the minister to put on the gloves with him, tiie minister took ofl his coat, let his suspenders hang down, rolled up his sleeve* and they put on the gloves. Pa pranced around, and the minister k*-pt his face guarded, cause he didn't want to have i> preach with a black eye, but pretty soon pa made a pass at the preacher and took 'biff" right on the nose, but he rallied ami landed one <>u pa's stomach, which nrade pa grunt. The blow on the uose made the minister perspire and he danced around pa uutii he got a good chance and then he landed one on pa's eve, and the other under pa - ear, und pa gave him one on the eye,and they clinched,and the minister got pa's bend under his arm and w as giving it to pa real hard, just a* nifi and three of the *i-ter* of the church came down cellar to sec ma's canned fruit, and the minister got pa's legs tangled and threw him against ma aud they both went into a basket ot wet clothes, and ma yelled 4 mil ice,' and the minister turned sud denly ami one glove hit a deacon's wife on the bangs and knocked the hair ciT, and the minister was excited and said 'whoop ! I'm a bad man.' Ma picked pa out of the clothes basket, and held his head, and wiped his bloody nose on a pillow case, urol pa was. mad at the minister for striking so hard, and the minister said he wouldn't have struck hard only pa pasted him on the m-e, and the women all snid it was a perfect shame to see a minister descend to In-come a -lugger, and 1 gufs they are going to bring the minister up la-fore the committee and bounce him. Say. do you think it is right for a minister to hide his talents und r a bushel, or should lie put on the gloves when members of his church want him to?" "By gum, I don't know," said the grocery man. "Hut if I was a minis ter and could box, and anybody went to putting en any tcoiiu|>* over me, I would kinVk his two eyes into one. I have seen some inini.t.i* go around in a meek and lowly manner, taking slack from every deacon in the church. Hut it is fashionable tor ministers to seetn to las dependent sort of people, and I suppose it always will be so." "Well, I must go and get a couple of oyster* to put on pa's eyes to take out the black," and the hoy went out and put the sign "take one" on a pile of dressed chickens.—l'eel'n Ait a. ■• ■ - Wftuhinßton'a Lovo Affair. Warlike* entimmts on certain sub jects lingered in the heart of Wah nigton on that jieaeful morning 100 years ago when he resumed p'troit /'>*(. Plantation Philosophy, A bald head ain't alters design ob settee. I)e turnip ain't so sound uirter yer cut off de greens. I l>as knew d tender hearted man dat would stati' an' Ibsen tcr a talc ob i distress an' cry, but at de same time i dahid a mighty tigh grip on a dime. I owed a man onct, an' when I spoke ter him about, it he -aid. " dntii | think oh dat, for it's all right," but 1 I noticed airter I quit thinking about it he tuck it up an' thought almut it 1 till it worried roc jiowerful. Kf a man thinks dut h-V* done siithiu funny, an' yer laugh. It pleases liitn mighty, but ef yer laugh at bint fur boin' suthin' what ain't funnv, he don,t like it. All through lifea man wants his f'rien's tcr look at his own an' not da own pleasure. I)e pussoD what is only smnrt in j one tiling may make a big sucte-s ob | hie'f but be oughleii'ter iliiuk hard !oh people case da gits tired ob him, ; tur we think more ob de moekin' bird not liecause he can ing bettor den any ud r bird, but because he's got v> many different wng*. — Arbmiaxc | TV aider. Bho Wonted ti Flighting Court. "Your Honor." said a middle-aged Iri.h woman to Justice Murray in the Harlem I'olice Court, "I come here ; agin Mrs. Houlihan." "W hat's the trouble? ' a*kcd Justice Murray. "Aure. Judge. I own a wee bit of a house on the rock*, near the Park, and it has two rooms, an it has. Well,one j of me rooms I lets to Mr*. Houlihan, and when I cxed her for the rint divil a nut did I git." "That's an action for a Civil Court." "A < ivil Court, did yer say, Judge'' When a woman throws stones through me winder when I ax her for me rint, is that civil ?" "Decidedly not." "Thin what do I want wid a Civil Court, Rure, I want tne rint." "V on will have to go to the Civil Court, my dear woman. I can do nothing for you. They will get your ; rent for you." As the ladv wont away she remark ed : "To the divil wrid n Civil Court. Mrs. Houlihan threw stones in me winder, and sure it's the fightin' court I want." — Truth. A Terrible Revenge. "That was a very brilliant wedding last evening, and, by the way, the bride was an old flame of yours, was I she not ?" I "Yes, the fiekle, heartless thing, as soon as that foreign count put in an I appearance she jilted me." •'1 see by the paper* that among fhe weddiog presents wore ten magnificent j clocks. Kather odd that so many i different persons should hit on the same things for presents. But why are you smiling?" "Ah! revenge is sweet! revenge is I sweet!" "Whnt ran you mean?" "Don't breathe a word and I will tell yon. lam acquainted with most of that cruel flirt's friend*, and it so hnppero-il that nine of tboin, not know ing of mv previous love, came to me for suggestions about a wedding pres ent. I confidentially ndvised each of them to send her a clock, and after ward I added aoother chick myself. Ha ! ha ! the vilmin still pursues her! Jam avenged ! avenges!! ,} "Mercy, man ! are you mad?" "Never was more sane in my life." "Then how in the world can the presentation of ten valuable clocks constitute revenge?" "Hist? Can't you see? Rhe will, of course, put them in different, rooms, ami then will not have a minute's peace until sin- gets tln-in tu run to gether. Rhe will begin Ity trying to regulate them herself. In six wet k* she will In- a raving maniac." — I'hifa. Call. "Comi: away front tlmt straw stack, chile," culled ft negro woman to her son. "Fust thing yer know yer'il halt tie hay lever. l)osn yer put none of tint straw in yer mouf." The • Press THE FOREMOST REPUBLICAN NEWSPAPER j FOR THE PRESIDENTIAL YEAR, 1884. Weekly - - - tl.OOa Year. Daily Proifl, ... -frO.OOaYoar. | - Tlic coming year w 11 lc? nni.il.lt*. Cmgrcaa, divided lirtHct tt x I; pub'i< .tu and a | Drmncnii' lluuir, w.il be bu> Preildeni j UfUktU'j Tin? i'i.-ai 1' lie of i'loiectiou agati)*l I 4 • 'I i> • % i I .. (Hi t... • .j , -.I -.t.t| tun I country. Ttio Prctlcisiit A) euo|Kii|fii will bn thn 1 tianlc t 1 i.Sit m I fim-.i exciting p-dlttral attuggle fr .. t-r of a eettttm Europe, IU j tbo opinion of lliu bt ■ i informed, ttouibica ou ;ht | cvoolup 11 vt .ir. i With audi .tu nutl'vl; i lire ncrpap6r wtiteb j print* ail liic n. o * t ~, tho boh* truth about j it M inc.r® t uti *v* r a r. rt**ty. Huth a nevta j IT Tin: I*llll \I i :. SUA I'i: Telegraph *uc* i.) I . o.u < fll p! • .*: it ItiMu.tatieouS . rotTimut.h tti • i with a tp*< \* r live hundred M*lgMl I .. I 4 \ • r tbo CtVlt M* I . word. T.ie r; .1 duily t ihle M?r >co wbich it 1 j lli3t(Mf ttJ t I •• Nit V ik //'-'ini/ tuVffi tsvoty ; 1 ' I , •• i*-*• . No pMRMf i rxt t! i*. i t ..; Yc i if-t: . • wnii li j;oU> toaku up | |a br i. fuil • -iiplctr ) r? 1 !'• -d- * ■ • 4-v * H.ipb t i rpaprr ( Ti \r. , WitKU Pitium i Mtirai aptctat tntlfii wlif hpit ' tt•* t ; fbo AT!.trit cotitrtbu* tioi • It :ti t i i.'fmt Writer* in \4rlou bf .ncbr irtM-w *. . \ * 4 i ult;. .that ' want l 1 ' 4 s . i lin the g trden. Iho IlKumo llaKiti is Woxkx ot tlnmo :ut t. . i I . Mi j; r, :t C iAtk, i* full of I.*form at vt I i • i t IJ - t|tm fortvtvy wrift. in"' iu r...i iI ol *♦ fa 1. >*h ;.ttor cf Labor ai 1 tho t i%i I 1 .. jit I. iiojm* iv* r ui I jurt 'I M '•!> \ .tcr. M \ er i. il.- I ( hargo of t.fi* t lor its# Ct katuof Iftbk ba# ouulo M 1 a life tini;. a.d I s to. i abr d th a yrrtn -d icting xap il iuro 4' Hi* lettrra will £.*• th#* fi • At t > ear nn g% In at thetarinua ire.'* .; j jrd,v' jp .u r-r of u xgt tiriko*, j tra it *u j -•• tu. ar tr.* u, rtc. T NVlJ.i.i I PKI v d* fu'.l of rholc# h*tn rejul* ' trig. With pu. .■ t-% and fdbcf m U**r (>r th'-little i Iolk, •tori* % and pi timet for a . ilu and chiblrcfv. i *x' I oot . R KM frofli rtutnl ! literature, art ail no. try "f |ome*ttc arid j fentfl !.'**•. a ll 1 OA CiflSMi tfMtiAiatl tf tbo gr. it qu. ti- •* • f ' . d.> iVimjJf c/pi'l •! f/ • HEW TERMS OF THE PRESS: IW W.t ; frrr ;n t:.o I H. nl ' in bit. r' -|>t - - lu. 'u. u;. •': . i ri.o;.ih. fT SOnjcir S.i-.-i ) I'n •. f. i yr. Wsskiy f'->-i, - - tI.OO a Tear, T" ■ '. • , • ~n e <. •, I 0f • .( j mr ruk o wrf $m oM Ik m * oMr / - | * "' ( *f I •.*- ' • • • w.i •• i - . f . . -• r •-r * .. i . *• |.S f • . 4 | , . ||, • Ml - I • i a • . . i | RW" ♦ - I W1 CUARAWTC- CIX T * • 4 H * ' D o MI , KMft k liStrteit, ... 14 I 'VIII X'Afi. * fan M - T• '.* *i V. h• 11. - - 01 EISNCft U MCNDCLCON, 3?Q Rncp Ctr"" **!*)♦ Pa, ADVICE TO MOTHERS Ar* v i*i !*• • i *t -:. .W'l hr k h • i id *nf •. ,*# l |(|| ufoit. (.eg t' ■th* |f v •- df-r, • * 4ft • ttU t f \l*s Uiau<- * tmi* . r-> rutin* * a TfftHi-*'* '• t< nla>. tldlru** fw..r 'III# * ***•' #- • t!f DMid |p. i| m .t '• •• '••Uk# *> UI Ih# tlomirh rut i-ow *|, t't'n win I - • i|q Ikf g'tM*, rHllw* ' ' tUMMH LOd i' •• * VI fo duvlob, tyoaoi Ho ti ; s - : Iwfvii* tiivv Coiij* rw rCCTttta t Dm j-r.* •rflpti-. ' on* of l r i Ir| *n| Uwt Irrnal* ri*nnl nnrf--,ion > | enc-roii ntf-s ti<n.|drT--d inrurshfs. it has | beefi th-'iichl (ii>rpiitbl to sd"pt their tfentm.nt *• it [ve<-lltT ; und h.-nee phyl- I rinn. h.vo r.'glecl.d Ihi-ir proper ludv. Hut of inte venr. n<* snd impertsnt di- Coverts* hsv- hroujht forth • course that n -w prove* rurccMiul tn any of it* form-, | with certainly, without the u.c of tbo : knife or rail-tic pla-t<-r. We hare a i treatment that ir comparatively mild. It i* not pMfonour, doer not inlerlere with the healthy (l-*h, can he applied to snv part ef the body, even the tongue We take nothing tor our service* until the cancer i cured. Addre*. DR J RULRBRT, Eagievilfe, Centre Co., Pa. 7 ktsMnt sad bwtsppntiHad ItMtiMla* a Iti,*inre VA ucation. lor circular* addrr** J'. DUFF A RONS, Titrnjarl, 1.11.1 .Hull I***, for •n*aj tMf* smi *ftii girst *tßf*i l****f th# aim *f Inft S T%||S*C. So 44 Fifth A*IMI# Th* faith fat tu l#vt h h*vy# rrUtu ?.r **h tmlninc • will Lit,i tor an itntn. *itt* ntrix > npm itrctk*t diitbM m nny *f Uf p,. f , # r * •*!# Mdrc • in.tr a a.n, Pift.iMtrtiK. p* iRr. h ,bkt+pi*i ptiMUtt'wf l.y lUr|M.r a Hrv, priit't la robirt, 40> Th Uraowt • .i li th* pttbh*lwd. A worh f-r Uttk-r*, r*ilnw.|. .*•ftm#o aud nrvti 'alvvtintaati Prfrt | pillf WITH: oohus ? Th*y • an I* rur#d wlfhont jalu or Dra, fir lb 'triall tun. uf ZFIFTEZEINT GENTS. F v oaiiif (ha EUREKA CORN CURE Hold only at GREENS PHARMACY Bush House Block. Liberal Discount to Merchants. It. e! Fi ITrwa Onrvfa .. ... 1> • >arH . |Or a yard f 1 PM m I* • ir.' tv>l4i4lli (Vhere _ ........ „. INiyhH. AH v) HUrk an 1 4V*W*d <\hm. wo . XJr a tar*. RH Pkid FUnnalt . § yard. Ltdi**' (eanmari ... (t^r All -*,) C aahmact. War I and r<*l • d t i-at I*3 < l*af*r tf.ar. anyaberw r)aa. FUII Drraa <.*!• . #i. s at*d J'V a yard AnMr |; ran and 1 ?*> O •* lot f.ttra Vnaltt% Rl*< k Mtk .. | kU*h*rSl 641 IHta lot Rtln PuperMJlliy tilark Ftlk I 2J. •• 2 HO rnlofat "Ilk#. Rttrt llr**y, .... . ?V.iR all Ihr >Uda rQiarrd Ullkifr m nrd up A and an|* riot ,-mlity nil tlk aailn Klmwlot* 71k City f*i<* 1 V# Tb- Fnaat q ahty I 1-2 yd ry P-otbo ail 000 l R -m IV A pair iShoe* at Onr.Jlalf Price. 1*41.' J K c!f ... ...... T re ntr fwlf ' CkM **•"• Ir. p.r Mir OitMmi'i ei.o.. . .. .... 'V>. At ,ni 4fv t pair fiho.(*.. .......... ......... . .. ... \eo p., iM,f „p Bnllcii Ww, riwtt • I W)nir Bntlmt eh.. B- U*ltl, ........ I ',on n V|n' Atw<• 1 <•' plr, M' A Hiwijr IK>t 1 f> • |tr. | iu„, 1 SI tr Mln l Cwtrti *s