Centre Democrat. (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, November 22, 1883, Image 2

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    Could We Bat Know.
Could we but know
T> o lend that ondi our dark, uncertain tparol,
Wke <• lie thoee happier hills and inendowa
lov
Ah! if lu-yond the spirit's inmost caril
Alight of that cMiunti; could we surely know
Who would nut K<>?
Mi),hi we liut hear
Ilia hovering nngeU' high imagined chorus,
Or catch, betimes, with wivkolul eyes and
clear,
One radiant vista of the realm before us.
With one rapt moment given to see and hear,
Ah! who would foarT
Wi re we ipiito sure
To And the peerless friend who left us lonely
Or there, by some celestial stream us pure,
Tri gase in eyes Unit hero were lovo-lit only—
This weary mortal coil, wore wo ijuito sure,
Who would endure?
Kdmund C. St tit man.
AT UNCLE PAUL'S.
"There,"s.tiil Juliet Garland, impa
tiently, "I can't wear these Kid gloves
again by any possibility. They've
been once to the cleaner's, and I've
done them myself twice with bread
crumbs!"
She sat in the deep window-seat, Iter
bright hair streaked with morning sun
shine, her blue eyes sparkling with
Taxation, while a pair of very much
demoralized kid gloves, of the palest
primrose tint, lay in her lap.
Ami Dora, Iter younger sister, look
ed li tlcssly up from the pile of music
•he was turning over—another of the
bright blonde blossoms of humanity.
"Why don't you get yourself a new
pair.-" said she. "Oh. dear! There
Isn't a song here that is not a hundred
years old. 'Juunita,' 'Her bright
smile, 'Beautiful daises,' and all that
•ort of thing. Kosie m ist get some
thing that isn't coeval with the ark.
liow is a girl to—■"
"Why tion't I get myself another
pair ?" sharply cross-questioned Juliet.
"Because I haven't any money -that
is the reason!"
"It's so dreadful to be poor!" sighed
plump, pretty Dora, contemplating
her pink linger-tips; and at lite same
moment Mrs. Templet m, the married
blonde of the family, caine in with a
worn look upon her fare,
"More bills," said she. "(>h. girls
what will Frank say? stefani has act
ually had the hardihood to charge
seventy-live dollars for that little
hutch we gave to Mrs. At wood and
her son. And Madame Cherimont's
account is eighty-nine, and I'm posi
tively afraid to open the florist's bill."
"Th>n it's no use asking for more
Wcid gloves at jfl-csent," said Juliet, dis
consolately.
"Nor music," added Dora, with a
shrug of her shoulders.
Mrs. Templeton burst into tears.
"1 declare." said she, "I'm discour
aged. And you girls are always teas
ing for something < r other, and Frank
Is so cross whenever we exceed th e
regular allowance!"
"Crying will do no good," said 11. -ra
I who was evidently the philosopher of
the family. "But what is that letter
in your lap, Kosie?"
"Oh. that!" said Mrs. Templeton, "is
from I'ncle PnnL I declare. Mefani'"
bill upset me so that I forgot all about
it He wants one of you girls to come
up to the Maine Camp and keep house
for him. It's somewhere on the line
of the Kangeley Lakes. I lielicve-
Owls and whip-poor-wills thrown in
Come, girl*, which of you will volun
teer?"
Juliet gave a little shriek of dismay
Dora elevated her pink, cushiony
hands. But a third .-..iter who had
been silently mending the flounces of a
pick silk skirt, in an obscure corner
lookts] up.
"Is Uncle Paul really in earnest?"
aabl she. "Then I'll go"
"Gladys!" cried all three of the
others, in different a* cent <f amaze,
ment. reproach and incredulity.
Gladys Garland rose up, flung aside
I the soft billows of pink silk that cum
bered her lap, and came out into the
light. Of all the sisters, she was per
haps the loveliest and the most ihter
M "Why not?" said she. "Do you
Kink I am particularly in love with
Ws sort of life? I declare, there have
■en times within the last month w lien
Hve felt inclined to go for a servant-
Haid. or look up a situation as fartory
■and. Just consider, girls the dress
H wear isn't paid for; the milliner is
Sways sending her girl around with
■Bis. I can't go on this street nor on
Hint, for fear of meeting some one who
Rrill ask me for the money that I
Honestly owe them. Kosie, like a
Inrling that she Is, keeps giving
■artlee and lunches and morning
Baosicales. to try and get us well
■tarried. Frank, poor fellow, is work
ing beyond his strength, to give his
■wife's sisters a fair chance; but it isn't
■ bit of use. See how we ail hang
■re. Now 1 don't know about Julie
land Dora, but 1, for one, am tired of
being put up In the world's window'
•For sale!' Yea, I'll go to Uncle Paul."
• "But," gasped Mrs. Templetom
1 "what will society say?"
"What it pleases," Gladys answered.
. ''Society don't settle my boot-bill, nor
provide me with pocket-money."
"Gladys," said Juliet, roinonstruting
ly, "I think you are cra/v!"
1 "Because lam emancipating my
self from slavery? But you know
Julie, I cannot see where all this is to
end."
"What will Mr. Mundevillo say?"
demurely questioned Dora, with a sly>
sidelong glance at her sister.
"He will say," Gladys stoutly
answered, "that there is one fortune
hunter the less in the ranks."
"Gladys, how can you speak so
coarsely ?" said Juliet, not without in
dignation.
"Is it coarse?" said Gladys. "It is
the simple truth. Mr. Mandevlllo Is
very handsome and agreeable, but I
don't think he will miss me after the
i first evening or two. <>h. there are
too many l'eris In this Paradise! And
poor, good, patient Frank, he will
| have one less to provide for. "Yes,
1 I'll go with Uncle Paul"
"Von may as well commit suicide at
once," said Juliet.
"You'll never marry in that wilder. I
uess," said Mrs. Templeton.
"There are nineteen old maids in
this block," said Gladys. "We count
ed them yesterday, Dora and I. !>o
you suppose there aro nineteen old
maids on Lake Molechunkamunk?"
"Nonsense!" said Mrs. Templeton.
"And besides," added Gladys, the
laughter fading from her eyes, "is it
really the end and aim of till female
humanity to get married? Why
shouldn't I bo an old maid as well .us
another? I>o you think I shouldn't ,
survive it? Wait and see!"
Gladys Garland had definitely made
up her mind on the subject Within
three days she had purchased a pair of
thick boots, a blue flannel suit, and a
poke Uinnet of rough straw, trimmed
with blue rlblwns, and gone out to
Lake Molechunkamunk.
Uncle Paul was glad to see her. He
didn't live in a wigwam, as she had
almost taught herself to lieliove, but
owned a pretty little lodge in this vast
wilderness, shaded with forest trss.
and embowered with blue-cupped
morning-glories.
He was civilized, and did not assas
sinate F.nglish grammar like the cham
pion hunter in the dime novels. And
he had provided a pretty little boudoir
for her, whose pink mosquito-netting
set the black llb-s and gnats at defi
ance, and an exquisite engraving of
the Madonna di >,m >ut > hung over
the broad mantle.
"Oh, I think I shall U< quite, quite
happy here, " said Gladys, as she sat in
a little Ixiat where the drooping
boughs of the hazel bushes mad'- blots
of shadow on the gbtteritig lake, and
read while Uncle Paul fish'sl.
"lion't regret any of the New York
cavaliers, eh ?!' said Uncle Paul.
And Gladys stoutly answer's!;
"No!"
But afterward she asked herself, had
she told the whole truth?
"If Darrell Mundevillo chooses to
marry Miss Borrance, let him," she
thought. I shall never pursue any
man. Let other girls do as they think
lit."
That very afternoon, however, when
she returned from a long ramble in
the woods, w;th her straw hat full of
bla kberru die found the little lodge
occupied.
"I am sorry to take you thus uncere
moniously bv storm," said a handsome,
middle-aged gentleman, who |.*iked to
lie what he was, a Wall street nroker
come out into the wilderness for his
summer vacation. "Hut my friend I
has fallen over a cliff and broken his
leg, and this was the nearest point of
shelter within a range of seven
mil's. Perhaps your husband w ill ex
cuse us, if "
"But it isn't my husband," said
Gladys, composedly depositing the
berrii-s on the tahle. "It is my Uncle
I'aul. He is Ashing, np the lake. But
if he were here, he would say. as I do
that you are very welcome. Where is
t poor man? I am not much of a sur
, g- n, but—"
'o> stopped abruply. There, lying
on the little chintz-covered lounge, his
pallid face supported by cushions, lay
Mr. Darrell Mandevllle.
"Miss Garland!" he exclaimed. "I
am so glad!"
"Mr. Manrloville," she uttered, In I
the same breath, "I am so sorry!"
"Because 1 have drifted here, of all
places in the world!" he pleaded.
"Because you are so badly hurt!'* j
faltered Gladys, with the tears coining
into her eyes.
"I knew you were somewhere in
I Uiis region," he said. "In fact. Miss
Gladys, I was looking for you. But I
didn't expect to lind you just now, and
thus, I thought —"
And then ho clofiod hl eyeo; a dead I
ly pallor crept across his face.
"I think he has fainted," Haid the
Wall .street liroker.
And Just then Uncle Paul came In
Uncle Paul, who was u born chlrur
geon, ami who understood all the heal
ing secrets of the glen and forest- and
Gladys heaved a deep sigh of relief. It
would all lie right now.
A broken leg is no joke, cspeciidly In
the back woods, where splints have to
be manufactured out of the most in- i
congruous material, and arnica cannot I
be had short of twelve leiles.
Mr. Mandeville made but a slow con
valescence, yet he did not appear to re-
Hard the detention as unpleasant. The (
! Wall street broker went back to tils J
stocks and bonds.
"I think we could easily get you to
Andover," he had said, wistfully.
"And a parlor-car from there "
"Oh, hang your parlor-cars!" said
Mr. Mamleville, impetuously. "I am !
doing very well where 1 am now."
"•>li!" said the Wall street broker, a
sudden light of comprehension irradi- 1
ating his dull brain. "Oh, in that case, |
I may as well leave yon to your fate; ;
It's the old story of Ulysses and the
Sirens over again."
Mrs. Teinplet<in came into the room !
where Dora and Juliet were remodel- j
ing their white drosses for a theatre 1
party to the Casino, one S ptemlier '
day, with tlu.-Jied cla-eks and shining
: eyes.
"Girls," she cried, "what do you
! tliink - Gladys is engaged!"
"To some buffalo hunter?" said 1
Itora, scornfully.
"No!" said Hosie. "To Mr. Mande.
ville. lie has been tip thero for a
month- at I.ako M-Ji-chunkamunk."
Juliet dropped her work.
"Impossible!" she crlod. "Olvlja
engaged up in those wildernesses, j
while I ora and I are left to wither on
the stem down here in New Vorkt ,
And to 1 i.irrell Mandeville, too— the i
liest match of the season!"
"Thing* do turn out so strangely!'* I
said Mrs. Tcmplcton, reflectively.
And fiiadvs, the predefined old ;
maid of the family, was the first to 1-e j
married, aft* r aIL
"Gladys always was lucky!" said her
two sisters.— .SnturtUiy Sijht.
Coloring Mlamonils.
Some very interesting and Important
experiments with diamonds have re
cently been made at the Paris a-adv
my of sciences. An ex[a-rU-need dUr t
m<ind merchant bought a tine white ;
diamond for four thousand six hun- I
dri-d dollars. < n*- morning he wa*hed
it with soap and water, when what
was his consternation to find that it (
had turned yellow, which sent its
value down to right hundred dollars
The matter was brought to tin- atten
tion of the a- U'lciny. an I ex pert* sul>
mitted a report which sho'wnl that
diamond wliibmng is a fraud easy to
accomplish and i easy to detect. Hy
plungn.g a yellow diamond into an
aniline violet dye tt l**-'-mas white
while at the same time it be-m neither
its transparency nor brilliancy. In
fa<t. on making the e\jierimcnt. the
experts had in a few minuts trans
formed several yellow stones into w hat
app-arisl luagniliient v. lute stones of
five-fold value. Take a yellow dia
mond. dip it even into no stronger dye
titan violet ink. w ash it with water to
remove any dis Juration, and the
effect is immediate. The dried dla*
tnond remains white. Hut, on the
other hand, tin- illusion is of short
duration. Huh the stone even lightly,
and the yellow tint is seen coming
back again, and a little further attrl. I
tion with the linger restores the pris-
I tine hue completely. This discovery
may entail upon many {arsons an
awakening to the fact that the sb-nee I
they have are of f.ir less value than
they supposed, and will necessitate
even greater care than that exercised in
purchasing. Douglas Jerrold once
raised the question whether any |>o
session really paid its possessor which
entails anxiety of mind, and diamonds
in one way or another, entail so much
that there are many to whom the great
value set upon them becomes almost
incomprehensible.
- ■
Two Hatches.
One day,when our Kufus Hatch wm
waiting at the depot, on his recent ex
cursion, for a train, he heard his name
pronounced, and discovered that it was
applied to a man who seemed a bit
under the influence of liquor. Walk
ing up to him, Kufus asked:
"Is your name Hutch?"
"You bet!"
"So is mine. Perhaps we are dis
tantly related."
The man looked him all over,rulibed
his eyes and looked again, and finally
replied: i
••It's so blamed distant that I'll nev
er own it."— Wall Htrtt Neiot,
, THK RURAL MAMHP.N IJt CHINA.
llop*Uc i'uvrrtr F.arly MsrrlMW-
Jotiit Family lulrm.
A family, 0. D., oonsisting of eight
persons, owns an acre and a half of
land. Tho lapd was bought hy the
grandfather of the present head and
has never been subdivided since nor
added to. lie grows about seventy
bushels of rice and seventy-live of
wheat and some vegetables and cotton
besides, worth altogether in money
about $4O. He hns two nephews who
work outside and bring home some,
thing to help, and In that
way they get along, but are very poor ,
He pays government land tax to tin- !
' extent of $1.50 a year. He and all bis
| neighbors wear native blue cloth, spun '
und woven in the family by the women
from cotton grown by themselves, lb
never wore foreign cotton. The coat
he hail on (a well-worn affair) had
been made two years previously, and it
would last two years more. It served
hlin at night as a coverlet as w ell as a
coat by day.
Another family owned four acres
; isld, only part of which was suitable
for rice culture. Their income was
alsnit eighty bushels of wheat and 1V)
of rice, about a fourth of which they
could usually sclL They paid some.
i tiling over fit a year as government
; land tax. 'I hey also grew more cotton
than they could use, and sold every !
year about fib worth. They were
better off than some of their neighlsirs
; hut never saved any money. They had
fifteen mouths to feed.
The foregoing cases are given is-.
| cause they repre-ent fairly the aserage
condition to Is* found in rural < hiaa-
The greater number of cultivators
probably iielong to the < lass of tenants,
{some say the pn>|mrtioti of tenants to
peasant proprietors is as seven to thr'-e ;
others put it us three to two; but
whether tenant or proprietor, the con
| dition of the cultivator is much the
same—that is, it rarely rises a)*ove i
j what Is just enough" for the bare
n-ce*saries of life. My own observa
tions have been mostly confined to tin-,
and the adjoining provinces, and I ex- (
eluded the cultivators of tea, silk and
opium, who, growing a commodity 1
| more and more in demand and easily
transjMirta! le, are in a f.ir letter jusi- j
tion than the ordinary i*easant ; but
i
speaking for the greater part of China
I U llcve I am not over stating the case
in saying tliat for the working agricuL i
tural masses it is a daily hand to band ;
struggle with want. In a succession
of good years they are very comfort
able. they have enough to eatNxnd to
wear, and they have few other wants ;
but jiopuluUnn is ever increasing up to
tli- food limit, and when a 1 ad year or
two c. tines they die off by hundreds or
thotisan-L*.
Two or three eausi-s may reality 1-e
named as having ii.ainlv ■-.minced (•.
this -tate of tiling-* can si - whi<har
generally to l- found m ng A-.atic
ra< es. The rule prohibiting the
devolution "f property by w .11, and
making division comj ulsnry among al'
ma! - hlldren, tends rapidly to r<*lu< •-
all h' i ling" to a minimum that is, to
the \er\ lowest quantity out of which
it is jw..ssi,\le to n ake a living. Here,
as everyw iu-re energy and good
luck raise individuals to a |Misjtion of
wealth, who may. :f they choo.se, be
come large lan'i owners ; but in the
course of a few generations this univer
sal equaliser, aid<d by the apathy of
tho ordinary < him so when in comfort
able circumstance*. will ba\e risluced
things to the former dead level
Another equally potent factor is the
habit of t<w> early marriage*. Parents
deem it a religious duty to provide
matches for their children as o<-n a H
they arc of marriagi abh-yi ars, and the
young peiq le go to the alt ar in as much
the same way a* they go to s<h<*d in
Europe. It never occurs to them to
a*k first whether there w ill is* enough
to fill the mouths that may come alter,
wards. The evil is further aggravab-d
by the joint family system, which
takes the responsibility off one's
shoulders and puts it jointly on that
of half a dozen others. When the man
knows that he w ill get an equal share
of what is going wdiet her he earns it or
no, and that the !>• rn-fit of denying him
self any particular indulgence will
accrue to others as well as to himself
a great motive for thrift is withdrawn.
In one respect the Chinese ]*>asan{
Is in a l>etter condition than fhe Indian
ryot; lie is not in rtcht to money-lend
ers. Hut Ido not know that that is a
virtue for whirh he is entitled to much
credit, for there is no class of money
lenders to whom he cottld get In debt.
Indeed, I am not sure that he is not
thereby In a less adventageons posi
tion, for when hard years come he has
no means oU pledging his property,
which, if Mb Kuld, might save him
from jjh/er starvation.
gFlorida has f>'K> factories, working
1,749 hands, with a capital invested
f1,697,030.
An Imperial Hog.
Peter the great must havo been a
pleasant companion at dinner. When
he and his consort dined together they
were waited on by a page and the em
press' favorite chainlzermuhL Even
at larger dinners lie bore uneasily the
presence and service of what he called
listening lacqueys. His taste was noi
an imperial one. He loved, and most
frequently ordered, for his own espec
ial enjoyment, a soup with four cabba
ges in it; gruel; pig, with some cream
for sam e; cold roust meat, with pick*
; led cucumbers or salad; lemons and
| lampreys; salt meat, ham and Line
; burgh cheese. Previously to addnm.sing
i himself to the "consummation" of this
' supply he took a glass of aniseed wa
j tor. At his repast lie quaffed quaes,
sort of beer, which would have dis
gusted an Egyptian, and tie finished
with Hungarian or French wine. Ht
is described as "eating rudely with a
sort of swilling noise," a quite appro
priate accompaniment of such an iin.
perial hog's feeding.
Hut Peter wasn't a crank at hit
meals alone. Strange stories are told
of his brutal and ferocious eccentrici
ties. (in one occasion, for instance
Peter iuui bis consort arrived at Ntuth!
of, in Uormany, for the night. Th(
owner of the country house at which
they stopped readily agreed to givt
i ttieni a small bedroom, the selection of
which had been made by the ernperoj
himself. Jt was a room without stovt
or fireplace, had a brick floor, th
walls w< re bare, and the season la-ing
one of rigorous w inter adifticulty ars*
as to warming this chamber. The
host soon Solved the difficulty. Sever
al casks of brandy were emptied on th
fioor, the furniture being first remov
ed, and the sj-irit was then set fire to
The Oar si r> amed with delight as lit
saw the sea of dames and smelled th
1 Odor of Cognac. The fire was nc
sooner extinguished than the I**l war
. replaced, and Peter and Catherine
straightway betook themselvi*to theit
rejHoe, and not only slept profoundly
all nigtit in this gloomy lower, amid
the fun.<s and steams of burnt t randy,
hut rose In the morning thoroughly
(refreshed and delighted with tiieii
couch and the vapors which had cur
j tained tiu-ir re|.,*e.
From that time forth a preparatht
to repose witi. Peter was to fumigate
his chamber with burnt brandy.
"
Principal Battles of the War.
Following are the dates of the prin.
<ij.il battles of the <ivil war, whe
commando) in ra< h, and the nuudx-t
kilb-d on lx>th sides:
Hull Kun (first (.July 21,1*61; North
Gen. Mils-well killed. 1*1; Niuth
Hen. Hoaun-ganl; k.lli-<l. unknown
*iuloh. April 7. 1 w, -2; North, Hen
Grant. killed, 17• i."*. south. Hen. A. is.
Johnston, killed, 172*. Seven lints
an-l Fair (laks. Ma;. :i and June 1
I* l 2; North, (i*n Met hllan; killisl
*'.•; s-mth, (tin..!. P.. Joiitisb-n. killeil
2" *'. Antietam, >ept. P-an-i 17, 1 *62
N rth, Hen. Mc( icllan; k.lled, 2"10
Smth. t.i-n. L>; killed. .TV"Chaa
i cllorsville. Ma) 2 an-l •. 1 ~*-I; North
Hen. Hooker, killeil. 1512; S-uth
Hen. .la-kson; killisl, 15*1. (iettys
i'tirg, July 1, 2 and d, lH*l; North
Hen. Meade; killed, 2*-'il; SUth
fen. l.ei killed. :iVi. Vicksl-urg
July J and 4. !*•• i; N'-.rth. Hen. (.rant
kilhsl. .M 5; Si tit, Hen Perni-crton
killtsl, unkn -wn. < hirkamauga. >ej.t
- I'd 2d, l-i>.(; North, Hen. Thomas
killed, 1 •4 4; Smth, (Jen. Hragg
killed, 2d*'. 1. Wilderni-ss. May 5. •
and 7. I*l-4; North.(Jen.(>rant; killtsl
5597; Siuth. (ien. lac; killtsl. Jtssi
| Spott*)l\an;a. Ml) * 21. l*t'4; North
j (it-n. (Jrant; killtsl, 4177; South
Hen. I.ee, killeil, P*kl The almv
figures are basetl on nii-dical official re
turns, and do not agree with returns o
tin* Adjutant tSeneral. No two return
agree. The Adjutant (Sencral
tlie killed at Wilderness 2261, and at
Npottsylvania 2270; while (Jen
Meade's rej*>rt, based on rejorts im
mediately after the battle, states killed
at Wilderness at J2.*-*; at>pottsylvania
2116. a
Something of Hotel Life.
Gosalpping aiKutt the hotels of New
York and the oostly habits which they
stimulate, the "l<ounger" of the Tri-
IfHW touches upon a hidden feature of
hotel life thus: "Many a guest is in
debt anil cannot get away from his ho
tel. Many a woman, apparently inde
pendent and fortunate, is wondering
while she smiles with visitors, how shs
can get her trunks away from the estab
lishment.and what person in the house
she shall strike for a Joan and at what
sacrifice. People often look into the
tenement houses and think that the
people must live very miserable there
lntt 1 wonder If they are not happlor
homes than some of these large hotels,
where every week comes the repri
mand that $2OO or more Is due and the
rulea of the house Imperative."
The Mother.
Though !ol in the whirlpool of pMiioi,
'though high on the petti way to feme,
, When luifMw of our innocent chil ihood
Here mailer] away Ui a name,
One thought, like a gem ami'l ruin*,
Will (iar.zle our eye* with ita |oy,
Arl hring hack theawcat worlhe uttereds
i "Von'll Uiink of your mother, my boy."
You'll think ol the lore that ahe ahoweted,
Unfailing by ilay and hy night;
You'll nigh for the aweet, good-night kuwea,
Ihe ayea with their meek, loring light!
And whether hle'a |thwny in- pU-naant,
Or roUieil of each roeobtid o( joy,
Your heart l/nek to her atill will joorney—
You II think of your mother, tny boyl
JVherever ttie amilca of a mother
Have relighleriod a heart and it i care, ,
God'* hleaalng haa hallowerf that roof trae! /
A glimpae of awoet heaven ia there! /
Though further the yearn lure ua onward,
'l"hey cannot her mern'ry deatroy;
In ail< \JA and tenia all unhidden
You'll think of your mother, my t*>y!
HUMOROUS.
"That prisoner haa a very smooth
countenance," said the judge to the
sheriff. "Yes," said the sheriff, "be
was iron'-d just before he was brought
1 in."
A sherry cobbler will never mend
your old shot*.
A regular kidnapper Soothing
j syrup.
Why the rabbits escaped.— His lord*
, ship (after missing his tenth rabbit):
"I'll tell you what is, Jlagster, your
rabbits are all two Inches too ihort
I hereabouts."
"No, sir," said Fogg, "I never knew
Hrown to mislead or deceive anybody
in his life. No.sir; fact Ls, he couldn't.
N'-|,i*ly would believe anything he
' ever said."
Little Aggie's sister had invited her
ttest young man to t< a There was a
lull in the conversation, which was
broken hy the inquisitive Aggie:
"Papa, is <!<>*<• fodders ober Mr. Wob-
I binson's mouf?"
"Yea," saiil the drummer, watching
a rival at a hotel; "it's his first trip
this way. Is n't you see, he isn't on
flirting terms with the table girl?"
A young man who went to the late
war began his first letter to his swoetr
; heart after this fashion: "My dear
Julia Whenever I am tempted to do
wrong I think of you, and 1 say, "(let
thee behind me, -atari' "
Sick man—"What! a female physi
cian? I want a doctor, t" make mc
will—not a woman, to make love to
me." Female physician (bashfully)—
i 'I promise to do neither."
"Gentlemen." said the Te\a man in
the restaurant w hen th> waiter dumped
a plate of hot souji down his bach
"gentlemen, don't laugh." As he had
, risen t- his feet and drawn two re
volvers Itis wis),<-s w- re rtq- tod.
A Cnhan Execution.
Arriving at the f>t of the platform
the d< ath sentence was again real, and
the "alguacil de onrte" cvrresjionding
t-i our sheriff--ask*i the prisoner if he
lmd anything t<> say to the |>oople. He
merely sh''h his heal, by w ay of reply,
and was at once seated, his legs tied >
and his arms pinioned, with the hands
crossed <>n his br- ast, ami the c-illar of
the garrote fixed ah ut his neck. At
this point of the proceedings the
"verdngo" pulled from his jierson a
long, briglit knife, and handed it to the
police who were present. A black cap
was then drawn over the prisoner's
fa< e. and the priests Ix-gan t-> recite the
"< 'redo." When they came to the
words. "His only Son." the "verdugo,"
by a swift and dexterous turn of the
lever, launched the soul of the poor
w retch Into eternity. There was but a
momentary quiver of the )iml and a
straightening of the form, then all was
st ill, for the man was stone deal. The
mode of punishment is far more merci
ful than the hideous and bungling jer.
f nuances frequently gone through
with at our gibbets.
The tr<m>)is then w heeled into column
and marched away tc beat of drums,
and now carue the strange sequel to
this dismal spectacle.
As soon lis the ground * cleared
one of the police went forward and,
seizing the "verdugo," arrested him to*
murder, hurrying him to the prison'
where the "Ju/gado" were stilj
assembled. Placing iiitn in their midst
he accused him of having killed a man,
and denounced him a* a murderer. The
judge asked him what he had to say in
answer to this charge.
"It is true," replied the "verdugo."
"that 1 killed the prisoner, but 1 deny
Icing a murderer, for, although I com
mitted the act charged," displaying his
arms with the badge, "1 did it tn the
cause of justice and in pursuance of j
the law. *ll of which I was compelled f
to do by virtue of my office."
"The accused is innocent, and is dta M
charged." answered the court, and thufl
the formula of Spanish law was
Bed.— VhUathlphia /'ran.