Fame, 'All, Fate, cannot a man I Bo wise without a beard? From East to West, from Ueeraheba to Dan, ( Say, waa it never heart! That wisdom might in youth be gotten, Or wit lie rijio boforo 'twas rotten? He pays too high a price For knowledge and for Ume !Who gives his sinews to lie wise, His teeth ami bones to buy u name, Aud crawls through lifo a paralytic. To earn tho praise of bard and critic. la it not better done, To dine ant! sleep through forty yean, Bo loved by few, bo leered by none, Isuigh life awsy, have wine for tears, And take the mortal leap undaunted, Content that all wo ask was granted? But Fsto will not permit The seed of gods to die, Nor sudor serses to win from wit Its guerdon in the sky; Nor let ns hide, whatu'er onr pleasure Tho world's light underneath a measure. Go then, sad youth, and shine! Go, sacrifice to Fame; Put love, joy, health, upon tho ahrinc, And lifo to lan tho flame! Thy hapless self lor praises barter, And dio to Fame on honored martyr. —H. It'. Emtrion. The Doctor's Experience. "If you please, uncle," said Nanny Juniper, "1 would like to speak to you." Old Doctor Juniper dropped his newspaper in dismay; the spectacles fell limply off his nose. "You don't mean to tell me," said he, "that tliem cidcr-bar'ls sprung a leak ag'in!" "No, uncle," said Nannie, nervously, pleating the frill of her apron, and changing color as she spoke. "Then the rod cow is gyt astray," groaned the doctor. "It does heat all how careless the neighbors are about their bars." "The red cow is all right, uncle," said Nanny. "It's about myself that I wanted to speak." Doctor Juniper drew a long breath of relief. "Oh!" said he, "altout yourself? Well, if it is a new dress, you've had two already since Thanksgiving Day; and if you want to take lessons of the wax-flower woman, I think it's all stuff and nonsense. So there! Just hand me up the paper, Nanny, there's a good girl, and see what a nice blue berry dumpling you'll make me for dinner." "Uncle," persisted Nanny. "I don't think you understand. I—l am not satisfied!" "Not satisfied ?" repeated the doctor, opening his small, blue eyes to their utmost capacity. "I should like you to pay me wages." went on Nanny; "because, uncle, — don't you see?—l'm doing all the work of the house, and saving you the ex pense of a hired girl, and I haven't a penny that I can call my own; and if it's ever so small an allowance, uncle, don't you see that it would save me the mortification of cutting to you for ev ery yard of tape and paper of needles that I want?" "Nonsense!" roared the doctor. "I shouldn't ask for it, uncle, if I didn't fed I deserved it," pleaded Nan ny. "Rubbish!" said her uncle. "Six dollars a month isn't such a great deal of money," urged Nanny. "And I have lived here eight years al ready for nothing, you know." "For nothing, eh?" said Doctor Ju niper, severely. "I a'pose your board and lodging don't count; nor yet your clothes. Ah, the parson was right , when he preached, last Sunday week, about the rank ingratitude of the hu man race. There never was anything like it—never!" "Of course I'm very much obliged for all that you have done for me, un cle," said Nanny, "Hut I'm two-and twenty now, and I really feel that I can earn a little money of my own. And If you think six dollars is too much, 1 shall be very thankful for five." "Ah, indeed!" said Doctor Juniper, satirically. "Quite moderate, I'm sure! But, you see, our ideas don't czaekly agree. If you ain't satisfied with things as they be, you're welcome to better yourself." "Uncle!" cried Nanny, her blue eyes ; brimming over with tears. "What I say I mean," said Doctor Juniper, resuming the study of his nrwspnjier. "And now I'd like the chance to read a spell afore I go out . Into the maple-pasture." And, surreptitiously eyeing her de parting figure over the rims of his glasses, the old man chuckled to him self: "I cale'late I've settled that busi ness. Wages, indeed! Times has come to a pretty pass, when my own niece wants wages for doing my house work." As for Nanny, she went quietly into the kitchen, where she prepared the fowl for roasting, made u little breoa sauce for It, concocted her uncle's favo rito blueberry-pudding, and then re treated up stairs, whore she packed tho little trunk, which had once be longed to her mother, and whose sur face was decorated with "A. J."—for Antolnetta Juniper—ln brass nails. "1 can't live so!" said Nanny. "My boots are all patches, and Uncle Juni per thinks two pairs a enough for anybody. My dresses aren't lit to bo seen, ami Uncle Juniper is always saying that his mother's calico dresses [ lasted year after year. I can't even put a flve-cent-plece in the contribu tion-plate at church, without Uncle Juniper's accusing me of extravagance. If lie won't pay me tin* wages which I ;nn sure I earn, I will go down to the Lake View House and help Mrs- Dauesbury make pies and puddings for her hoarders. She told me, long ago, that she would give mo ten dol lars a month, during the busy season, to assist her." Doctor Juniper relished his roast chicken and blueberry-pudding as only an elderly gourmand can relish the ap petizing edibles of this world. Nanny sat opposite him, looking rather distraite and thoughtful. And when he had sop pis 1 up the last of his pudding-sauce with a piece of bread, wiped his mouth, and folded up his napkin, she spoke out: "Uncle, I'm going away to-morrow." "He you?" said Doctor Juniper. "To earn my own living," said Nan ny. "Humph!" commented Doctor Juni per. "Well, suit yourself suit your self!" "Mrs. Daneshury is going to pay me ten dollars a month," explained Nanny. "Hut I'd rather stay with you at half the price, if " "I'il see you further!'" - lid Doctor Juniper. " 1 won't pay you a nil cent!" ' "Very well, uncle," said Nanny. And so she went awav. ">he needn't think she's going t-. wind me around ln r little linger," said Doctor Juniper. "I can get plenty of housekeepers for less money that that. And I won't be imposed u|*n!" The doctor got his own hrv.nkfa.st the next morning. It wasn't so easy as lie had supposed it would lie. The lire smoked and sulked, the enffee-put tipped over, the llsh was snip bed, and the eggs overboiled. "Ilang it all!" said the ihictor. "Tilings don't taste right anyhow. There must lie a knack in cooking, after all." He left tho unwashed dishes on the table, saddled the roan horse, and set off immediately after he had swallowed the last drop of the tluvorless coffee, in search of "help." The Widow Keone was all smiles when he stopped at her little red cot tage. ">o Nanny has gone, has she?" said the widow. "Wal, there ain't no de pendence to lo put on gals. And you feel the need of a real helpful coin- J panion? I did say, when I buried ; Koene, that nothin' should induce me to marry again, hut—" The doctor reined up Old Iloan so suddenly that that meditative stood jumped off all four legs at once. "Hold on!" said he. "1 wasn't talkin' of matrimony. I ain't a marryin' man. All I want is hired help!" "Do yott mean to insult me?" said Widow Keenc. And she slammed the ihwir in his face, and Doctor Juniper rode on, much j marveling at the narrow escape he had hail. "I'll try Miss Mahala Dickerman," j he concluded. "She ain't a widow. Widows are naturally sly and tricky." Miss Mahala Dickerman was more reasonable. Yes, she would come. Hut she required her Sundays to her self, every Wednesday aftegnoon, the use of a horse and wagon to take her to church, and fourteen dollars a month. "But what is to liecnme of me on Sunday?" Doctor Juniper ventured to inquire. Miss Mahala didn't know, she had tier soul to look after—that was very certain. And she couldn't reconcile his Sunday business to her conscience. So Doctor Juniper rode away once more, solemnly shaking his head. "What's come to all the women?" said the doctor. Hetsey Crowe was the next person on whom he called—a sharp-nosed gossip, with a high, shrill voice, and spectacled eyes. "I think I kin suit ye, doctor," said Miss Crowe. "I've lived housekeeper to several families. My terms is twelve dollars a month and the privileges of a home, and a young gal under me. Her wages w ill lie four dollars extra." Doctor Juniper grew a tallowy white. "Iyou s'pose I'm made of money?" said be. "Them's my terms," said Miss - Crowe, "and I wouldn't vary from " 'em, not for the president of the I United States!" "There's an end of the matter, then," - said Doctor Juniper. r "Just as you please," said Betsey Crowe, tartly. Louisa Ifenley would not undertake . the place unless her mother and eleven , years-old brother could come as corn , puny for her. Mrs. Cackle expected , the washing to bo put out, and a clean , ing woman engaged for every Satur , day. Maria Michels hinted at the . privilege of Idling the vacant rooms , of the house with summer hoarders. And the upshot of it all was that l)oc- I tor Juniper came home in desperation, , without any help whatsoever. lie telegraphed to his cousin, an , ancient female, somewhere on tho edge , of the Adirondacks, to coino to the rescue. (She came. Hut she was sub ject to the rheumatism, to epileptic llts, and to an undue fondness for the brandy-lnitt le, and at the end of a month, Doctor Juniper was glad to ship her off to a "Home for Aged Women" in New York. And then, subdued by much discipline, ho walktsl down to Mrs. Danesburv's and asked to see Nanny, Nanny came in, all smiles and dimples. "Heady," said the doctor, to himself, "I hain't an idea the girl was so pretty!" she welcomed her uncle with tho most affectionate of kiss<-s. "Nanny," said lie, "you were right, and I was wrong. I'm sorry I ever let you go away. If you'll come bark to the old farm, I'll pay you ten dollars a month and be thankful to you." "Oh, uncle, I can't!" said Nanny, laughing and blushing. "I've prom i>'-d to marry Hugh Dancsburv." D x-tor Juniper's face fell. "Hugh Danesbury'" said he. "That's i the young fellow that works at tho ' mill, ain't it ?" "Yes. uncle," said Nanny. ; "Then r .me. lith of you," sai i D.*-- t'.r Juniper. "Hugh shall run the j farm on shares, and I'll pay you ten I dollars, just the same. I can't live as ! ! I've been linn', I'd sooner take laud- j | anuiu!" - ' tbc young people were married, ! and came to Juniper farm to live. "And uncle's a deal easier to get ' • a!' rig with than ever he was ltefore!" x.ud Nanny. For I>octor Juniper had profited from 1 his experience. //,/<„ F->rr>*t Umrrn. i I'EARI.M (IK THOUGHT, Jealousy is a secret avowal of our in feriority. The only rose without thorns is | frieniLship. We ought not to judge of man's , merits by bis qualifications but by the i use he makes of them. Though we travel the world over to find the lieautiful, we must carry it with u.s, or wc find it not. Hashfulnexs may sometimes exclude pleasure, but seldom or oyer opens any avenue for sorrow or remorse. Attrition is to the stone what good influence is to the man. Both j>ohsh I while they reveal hidden beauties. Cares are often more difficult to , throw off than sorrows; the latter die with time, the former grow utxin it. The leader will fail who acts on "the : i counsel of those whose intelligence and ; I means of information is Inferior to his own. Zealous men are ever displaying to you the strength of their belief, while judicious men are showing you the grounds of it There is a wonderful vigor of con-' stitution in a popular fallacy. When the world has once got hold of a lie, it is astonishing how hard it is to get it out of the world. If a man be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows he is a citizen of the world, and that his heart is no i island cut off from other hearts, but a continent that joins them. There are few men who, were they certain of death on their seventieth birthday, would think of preparation. To-morrow may be the gate of an eter nity, and they go on in their folly. He Had Confldrnce In Uypsles. A band of gypsies camped in Mis souri. A farmer in the neighborhood was painfully twisted by rheumatism and they straightened him out with mysterious lotions and ceremonies. This won his confidence. They told him that a large sum of money was buried on his farm, but they did not know exactly where. Their instruc tions were to bury all the cash he hail for eight days, and then dig it up, whereupon the place of the concealed treasure would be revealed. He olwycd, and at the end of the pre* scribed time his #5900 and the gypsies were gone. I ILU'I'INUN FOR the curious. About seven centuries before the christian era Southern Italy was so thickly set with Grecian cities as to lie known as Magna (Inccla. There is a creek several miles from Waynesboro, Ga., which is so highly impregnated with liino that it will take the hair off a horse's legs in pass ing through it. The silver ore of the Nevada mines is so intimately associated with lead that nearly one-half of the miners w ho handle it become afflicted sooner or later with wrist drop, palsy, or half paralysis. Mr Edward Atkinson says it would require 16,000,000 persons, using the spinning wheel and hand loom of less than a century ago, to make the cotton cloth used by our people, which is now manufactured by 160,000. Among the Chinese no relics are more valuable than the ly law in China, and a viola tion of the Jaw is punished by two months' imprisonment and 100 blows of the heavy batnlioo; except in cases where the offender is tho owner of the aninfhl, when the imprisonment 1- one month and tho number of blows eighty. Mandarins w!c> fail to t.do notice of such offences are also pun i-losL The ox is thus honored als.ve I other beasts lssausc be is annually j offered to Confucius; and because of i his services to man in plow ing and the | entire dependence of the husbandman on him, man should refrain from doing him harm. It is relatisl in 7>r. F-r.f* Jl.alth Jfonthly that Paul Bert saw at j Geneva a curious sjiecimen of humani ty that would Is* worth a fortune t> a I Bowery museum or a travelling show. I It was a child five years old, or some- J w hat more than one child, for it had I two heads, two chests and four arms. hut only one abdomen and one pair of i figs, the fusion of the two lli<-s into I one occurring at aUwt the waist. 1 Each head lias control.,f the fig on it ; own side. The two faces are much j alike, and the two intellects already understand several languages. The food which one takes d<>et not satisfy the hunger of the other, and they eat and sleep alternately. ne has had a fever without the other Is-ing ill. A New York restaurateur l>eing asked why it is considered so difficult to el and make you sick. You may try to coax j that important functionary with bril>cs of pepsin and that sort of tiling, but there is a limit to even that. Si you | see why quail won't do for a steady diet" _________________ A Minstrel's Conversion. •Senator Bob Hart," the negro ' minstrel, used to lie a great favorite in the West His stump sjieeches and his excruciating Latin wore his chief stock in trade, but they were enough to give him a lctter incotm than half the professional men get. Well, a couple of years ago, when he was almost dead with delirium tremens, he staggered into a revival meeting and was converted, and since i then he has been known as tho Rev. J. M. Sutherland and a more con- | sistent, earnest Christian exhorter never lived. He has for nearly two years been in the employ of the City Missionary society, which pays him #2O a week, on which lie supports his wife and daughter. Cliicagoans can reineinlier when Boh Hart got #3OO a week during an entire season In that city. lie works among the poor people, and preaches several times a week and twice on Hurdays. Jle hasn't touched a drop of liquor since the night from which he dates • his conversion. ■—ChvrtcMd Sun. UESSUM TITAI, KTATIHTICH. , A Year's Straths In the Cnll.d SMalss.- The I'assas af llsath, and Other ' Inlarsslln* Facts. An article in the New York Nun > says that according to the last census, j i | 756,893 persons died in the United Mates during 18*". The death rate ' I for tiie whole Union was therefore j ■ ! 15.1 to tho thousand. That is a low rate, and yet it was much higher than i j that given in I*7o, which was only l . 12.8 per thousand, while the death i , rate according to the census of I*6o j . ■ was 12.5. But the apparent increase in 1880 i was due entirely to more complete i returns of deaths, and even the figures for that year cannot be regarded as ; accurate. Except in a comparatively small number of communities, vita! ! statistics are not gathered in the i ; United States after a scientific system. The actual mortality of the Union is probably somewhere between eighteen and nineteen per thousand, instead <1 J a little over fifteen. But that is a low rate as compared with Eurojsan countries, the death rut>* for the whole of England having been 20.5 per thousand in I**", and for Scotland, 21.3 in I*7*. (if the 756,893 deaths recordist in the census returns 010,191 were of whites, out of a total white popula tion of 43,402,970, and 116,702 of , negroes, out of a total colored popu i lation of 0,752,813. The apparent death rate, therefore.was 14.71 among 1 the whites, and 17.28 among the ; negroes. (if the deaths reported 391,900 were of males and 364,933 of females, the total living jsqiulation having la-en 25,51*.820 mules and 24,636,963 females. For every thousand deaths of females there were 1,07-1 of males. The proportion of males dying in infancy was alv> greater than that "f female-. all deaths recorded ! was 419.51 per thousand among males, while among females it was only 3*1.85. Nearly half the male mor tality was among very young children. The causes of death were rejmrted in only 713,*40 raw, and the follow ing table gives the nundter of deaths from each of the ten principal causes: < onmimplion ... - - . 91,.Ml hifihlhfru I iiiin.nnk! • • * • 65,645 Dimsmc* of nrrroui • • M.G7O Dumajm* of r#|nr*lonr vrmmi • 107.'.*04 1 Kitoa*** of !i£e*tirc ftvaftftin • - .'iI.CMM Knturie (ty|4iokl) f#rer - 22,90.5 M (wir* ........ *.77 2 Snarl*! fmrvr • • • - • • 16410 omigh - • . • • 11,1*02 Consumption was, as always, tiie great scourge, and it carried off a con siderably larger proportion of females than of males, the deaths from that cause ls-ing 10,619 tnah*s to 50,932 f">- males. It is very instructive to ole serve that the mortality from consump tion in the North Atlantic and Lake regions was highest in the small towns and agricultural districts, while on the Gulf coast it was greatest in the city of New Orleans, with its wretched sewerage and drainage system. Enteric or typhoid fever is also more especially a disease of the country rather than the city. The Is-tter drainage which ordinarily prevails in the large towns makes them less liable to that fever than the smaller com- ; inanities arid scattered settl -ments, where necessary precautions against the pollution of the water supply arc not generally taken, and accumulations of tilth in vaults and cesspools are common. Malarial fevers likewise were more pre\ alcnt and more fata' proportionately in the smaller com munities than in the great cities. Tho same was the case with diphtheria The report of the numlHT of deaths due to accidents and injuries is inter est ing: Itnrn* and scald* - • • • • 4.7*1 I trowned • • 4,320 1 Ksponirc and neglect . . - • 1,200 liiiiahnl wound* ...... 2.2K0 Homicide ........ 1,33(5 1 tdnntiride . ....... 40 ln|ur,m liy machinate .... 120 Itiulrnad accident* ..... 2 3(0 Sndncatioo ....... 2,339 Suicide bjr shooting • • - . - 472 Suicida by drowning . . . . ( 15,5 Suicide by powon ..... j 340 j Other eiiicide* ...... 11,550 Snnntrok* ....... ..I 55" Other accelent* end injuries • • Ij.ONO Brevity. Few writer* know when ttHt-qi writing; they say too much, SHt in Luther closed his speech befoftlthc diet of Worms with these words: 'Sere I stand. I cannot do otherwise. Hod help mc. Amen." Sup|ose IhA.vl said: "The position which I at prHnt occupy 1 shall continue to maintfln.'' The latter is grammatically cmHrt. You can praise it, but literary demns it as weak and back to the Old Testament t ' there tie light and there was 1 j Beyond the naked grandeur of word* art cannot go. And, inHrt. I brevity is an art—and one worth Hu- i vating, too. ■ 1 Alone. The ran •hlnee out arrrm Ui MO, The old churcb Ull chirua merrily. Hut the mtu*\eu fright in mi**ry, Awl wftft'lfM mu\ *w\ lunci; Far b#! ban gone, her lOVIJT trot, Arrowi tb? , w'ule. arnl Mu*— Wow /all bar tlike evening daw, And Ibua aho i/,hk bar in'run : My love ha.ii gone' Ah, wall a day* My heart ia fri#**f-<] in uum-tj' And rnuirt it now tbua lor aye? Ah, won! Ah, woe i ma' Tba breaker* on the nounding itbore Are leaping high with *;e*nelrM roar, And the rnaiden watchea by her door With *ad and auxioua eye. j The white f'arn fall* around her there, And flerk with anow her rat en iiair, Hut atill ahe wat/be in riae) atone, For now ail hope i% vain. My love i den/1' Ah, weli-e-day' I My heart u ateeped in ti/jter) ; And it Diuat now 1* tbua lor aye, Ab, woe' Ab, woe ia me'" Offilvit Mite Kill. I'l'MiKM PABAbItAPHS. Trousers rover a multitude of shin--' Cannot lawyers be term-d fee-males ? j Aw ife may be a blessing, but a 'lumb wife is an unspeakable < oe. It is a terrible shock to n will now Is- taken." rh<- question is ask'-d us, If there is anything that will hring y uth to w. - V'--, i:,i|" ill bring any number of them. A man wh - ! ... hapjierxd t have a gt exercise enough dodg ing dynamite l*imhs and other infernal i devices contrives I by the nihilists, without resorting to wocxl-chopping. Common Phrases. The term blackguard has a very common plar* origin. In all great houses, particularly in royal residences there was a number of mean and dirty dependents, whose office it was to at tend to the woodyards, sculleries, etc. Of these—for in the lowest depths there are lower still the most forlorn wretches seem to have been selected to j carry coal to the kitchen, halls tnd other apartments. To the smutty reg iment, who attended the progresses and rode in the carts with the pots and kettles, which, with every other article of furniture, were then moved from palace to palace, the people, in derision, gave the name "blackguards," a term j since become sufficiently familiar. "To the bitter end" is clearly an old nautical expression. A dictionary, published in the first part of the eigh teenth century, has "bite," a turn or j part of arable; "bitts." the main pieces of timler to which a cable is fastened w hen a ship rides at anchor; "bitter," a turn of the cable about the timber called "bitts," that it may lie veered out little by little; and "bitter end" (of a cable) is that part which is wound around the bitts when a ship rides at anchor. The modern cant expression, "to the bitter end," may have taken ita rise from the old nautical words, as meaning the last coil of the cabin, or from the last end, the very "bitter" dregs. It is a slang expression, anoth er form of "1 will fight you to the death." In it bitter only means piti less, severe, like a bitter cagt wind, or a bitter foe.