• WE ONLY "
fount, wife, dear notnnii, and nit ly mo,
For the toilsome day is dune,
Antl uiany thought* in my heart are horn
With the wtttintt of the nun.
Ay, uivo ine your hnud, my patient love,
That tny own may <An*|> it tirfht;
Not dearer it won iu the yearn atfono,
Dear wife, than it in to-iiii;ht.
Old and wrinkled it may he, dear,
Hut look yon, wife, at the nhine
Of the riujf that has cluiitf to your finder
there
Since the day that I made you mine!
'Twart a lou*t. lon* march from our youth to
ntfe,
4 Hut Time, Im< he ne'er no ray.
Can never tarninh the luster, dear.
Of the pledge of our wedding day.
E'en no the truth of a faithful love,
Horn far in the auld lang nyne,
Iu our nteadfant heartn, through weal and
woe,
Never ha* conned to nhine.
There are team in your eyen, my wife, to
night ;
Yon are thinking, dear, I know,
How ntrange it in that nn nhadown fall
Wo only are left below—
We only, to nit at the old hearthntono
Iu the twitight, dear, of life.
While our children wait at the gaten above-
When nhall we meet them, wife ?
Nay, dry thoae team, and he glad with me
That the day in almont done.
And father, mother and children all
May meet—with the net of nun.
Harper's |
DID HE PROPOSE?
" I couldn't do it," said Martin Kl
lerslie, with a shudder. It was just
the.seductive hour before the gasjets
are lighted and window blinds turned
down—the delicious twilight when
grate lire* shine like burning masses
of ruby, and people sitting beside
them grow strictly confidential. It
was snowing a little oil'.side; ail the
1 tetter, for the cFck of the cryst illi.-mi
pearl against tho glass tilled up the si
lence, and male the cozy warmth of
the rmm luxuriously d dightful. And
Martin Ell -rdie's pleasant brown eves,
fixed full on the lire, saw—no one can
tell what or how much they saw '
"Suppose she shoul I say no." he
burst out, seemingly apropos to noth
ing at all.
"Suppose sho shouldn't," observed
Guy Barnes, dryly.
, " I tell you, old fellow, its just ex
actly like having a tioth pullei out.
Your friends stand by and say : 'Be
a man; it's nothing.' It's nut t icy
whoam under the doctor's forceps."
"Complimentary to Miss t'len."
"xN on sense. You know what I
mean. But really and truly, I've tried
and can't do it."
" Very well." said Barnes, indiffer
ently; "then it is an understood thing
that you are to live and die an old
bachelor."
" I didn't s iv that."
"Oh. I heg pardon. You expect
Fanny is going to propose to you:
that's it."
"You are a heartless miscreant,"
Kller.slie cried out, half laughing, half
impatient, as h • sprang t., his feet and
tossed t he renin mt of his cigar into the
lire, "and 1 sh ill not wis' • any more
time upon you— unless md-ed you go
round to the fair with me."
"When- Fanny fieri has a stand?
Not if I know it! The money market
is rather tight for ine at present, and
these fancy fairs are no more than a
den of r ibliers where a defenseless
y Ming man is concern ed."
A 11 Martin Kllerslie went on his
way alone.
The hall was a glitter with gaslights
and fragrant with (low rs when he
got 1 here. The pretty f-minine
sparks ea li behind her well-laden
table, w re all smiles ami dimples,'
while the tlir ng of victims ehhed and
flowed around thern.
Mr. Filers! e found himself greeted
w.th acclamations.
"You will tike a share, Mr. Kl
lersli"?"
"Do please put your n,vn • down
bore. Mr. Kllerslie; thorn are only ten
blanks left."
• Oh, Mr. Kllerslie, you are the vert
one we are waiting for. I have kept
seven for you—seven always was a I
lucky number."
" Mr Kllerslie ' d n't, nrav, sp ml ail
your money until you have taken a
•share in this rn irn-noth doll, with a
trunk full of clothes "
And thus our hero was flung hither
and yon on the waves of the fair,draw
ing nearer, however, with every sub
•eription. t > the table over which
shone the blue stars of Fanny den's
eyes.
But when lie got there he wal smit
ten with slid len silenrv
Fanny looked wonderingly up.
•' It's a line evening." he hazarded.
"Is it >" asked Fanny, " Why, I
thought it was snowing."
"Mo it is," said our hero, growing
very red, and overturning with his
ellmw a crimson Venetian flask, for
which he immediately had to pay. " I
—I nu-an it isn't a very line evening."
" Oh!" said Fanny.
" Yea," sa d Martin, filling acutely
| that he had made a donkey of him-;
j self.
I Then he went away, and didn't s-e
Fanny don again the whole evening
; —probably because she was the only
person iu the whole room that he cared
a tig about seeing at all. But so un
kind Is fate to lovers.
Just as he was edging his way out
of the place, in a very desperate and
dejected frame of mind, there was a
rush and a flutter, and ho heard his i
own name called in all the notes of the
human gamut.
"What is it?" he asked, vaguely
staring around him.
- You've drawn the big doll?" cried
little Sybil Percy, dancing up to him
and laying in bis arms the huge
waxen abomination, with its flossy
yellow curls and imposing pink and
white complexion; while somebody
else brought the big and little band-,
box. "It's just like traveling withal
wife," said>yhil, mischievously.
" But what the ahem, w hat am I
to do with it?" asked our bewildered
hero.
"(iive it to somebody," said Sybil,
inwardly hoping he would act prompt
ly on the suggestion and bestow lb,.
pri/H upon her. "Any on would be
ilelighted to see such a pr-s-nt."
Do you think they would asked
Mr. Kllerslie, vacantly, and lie went
away."
"Great stupid fellow!" ciied Sybil,
.pitefully, and she tripped I a- k to the
table.
"I never s.w such a goose," said
Laura Harrington, who ha I thre- sis
tcrs of her own at home.
"But what am 1 t > do with it?"
said Martin t > himself, as he traversed
the wintry gloom of the midnight
streets. " i ih. I have it! I'll give it to |
Fanny < 1-n an I she can make a
Christmas present of it to her little j
llack-cyed cousin."
He laid th- doll, rejoicing, on the
sofa, and went to bed, sinking into
dreamland just about the time that
Fanny Cl-n was taking tlu- hairpins
out of her magnificent golden hair be- j
fore the dressing bureau in her own
apartment.
"Why, Fanny, what ails you?"
cried Dora, 10-r elder sister. "Yo;. are
crying'"
"I am so tired," guiltily confessed
poor Fanny.
And she wept herself to sleep,
thinking how f< olidi she had been, and
that, of course. Martin Kllerslie didn't
care a straw about 10-r. Why should
he?
Mr. KUt- lie rose the next morning
full of his momentous resolve, and
made such a toilet that the landlady's
little In iy seeing him g-> out with a big
doll, neat 1 • 'encased in her pasteboard
Im.x, under his arm. e a ulated:
" Oh, my eye, wha' a swi 11!"
The 1 lack-eyed little coiisiti admitlisl
him. Yes, c >u-sin Fanny was at
home woull he wal, into the parlor?'
And our hero, befr r - lie lia-l made up
his mind in what terms to bestoxv his
gift, found hinist If twwingand smiling
to a fair haire.| \ Lion in a sunny lit
tle room, surrounded by heaps of cut
flowers.
••How do you do, Mr. Kllerslie."
sai 1 Fanni-. col r.ng and .smiling. "1
am making boil pu-ts, you see. for to
night."
"Kxa-tly so." slid Martin, and then
lie reflected how much im r- appropri
ate a remark he migh haw- made, and
turned very red.
-• Pray sit down," said Fanny.
- I I th- fact is. Miss C'len," said
Mr. Kllerslie, plunging in sheer des
peration int • the midst of his subject;
" I have called I hope you won't be
vexed—you hase only to any so if you j
don't like it."
Fanny dropped her sprig of helio
trope an 1 looked up in surprise.
" I know it isn't of much conse-;
nuence," %\tnt on Martin, turning the
pasteboard box round and round in
confusion, " but if you'll accept I've
known an I esteemed you so long,
and —"
The damask roses deepened on !
Fanny's fair faie. It had come at j
last, th'-n, the proposal she had antici- j
pated so long and anxiously,
"Not of much consequence! Oh.
' Mr. Kllerslie," she repeated, reproach
fully.
" Would you not care for it?" he do- !•
inanded. quite obvious in the embar
rassment of the moment that he hadn't
even named the gift.
" Care for it?" the tears sparkled in
: Fanny's eye.*. - When you know that
I love you, Martin."
And she ran straight into the arms j
of our astonished hero.
When he went down the door-steps
he was an engaged man. how and
when he hardly knew himself. And
as fate would have it. the ftrst person,
age against whom the tumbled was
Guy Barnes.
" Hello," said Guy. "What's up?"
" Don't apeak so loud," said Kllerslie,
| passing his arm through that of lii*
I
friend. "She's engaged to he my
i wife."
" Who is? The divine Fanny, the
fairi'st of her se\ ?"
"Of course ; who else shotilel it
be?"
" Rut I thought you cuuldn't screw
your courage up tez th" proposing
! mark ?"
" 1 didn't propose."
Hoy Harnett stared.
" You didn't- propose! Then how
i could she* have accepted you ?"
"That's just what I can't coiupre
| bond myself," said tbc puzzled lover.
"We are engaged—that is certain
hut I can't for the life of me remem
ber w hen or how I proposed."
Hut of course you proposed," ob
served (iiiv; "people' always do get a
little tlurricel, yon know."
"Do they? Well, I suppose that
was the case with inc. Rut 1 don't re
member "
"Oh, don't be such a ninny," saiel
tiny Barnes, impatiently.
" I wish I cotihl remember just what
I said, though," observed Martin.
And even after he was duly mar
rie-iI he ni'\ it could quite recall whether
lie propi se-el < r not. Rut as long as
de*ar Fanny was all his own what did
it signify?
lie Wanted to Be Complained Of.
A man who had been purchasing a
horse and cutter was yesterday speed
ing tin* animal up and down Park
street, when a |*diceman saiel to him:
"That's four times you have-been
racing up and down and you want t
quit or you'll get into trouble."
•• How ?"
" I'il complain of you."
•• What for?"
" Fast ilrn ing."
"At wha' rat" will you swear that I
w as driving?"
"At least eight mil'-siui hour."
" Will you,h'inest Injun? Will you
say at least eight ?"
" I will, and the recorder will fine
you three dollars."
"Say," said the man as he pulled out
a ftve?-dollar bill and extend'*! it, " take
this and do me a favor. Make com
plaint that I was driving at least eight
. miles an hour, and have me fined for it.
I bought ttiis ol'l beast for a four-mile*
| an-hour horse, and if it gets arouml
among the buys that he ran step at the
j rate- .if eight 1 can sell him fur #25 in
i e-.tsh an<! a second-hanil overcieat! Ho
and enter i-omplamt to-day. so that it
w ill I** in -ntione-l in the morning
papers, and don't f<.rg"t to say eight
i miles an hour e-ight miles an hour on
vour soli-mn nflldavv !" I'rtroit Frt*
!/•-.*..
Talmsre's Idea of lleairn.
•• I wish that to-day I could take
heaven fr on out of the list of intang
, ild' * ami mak" it apj* ar to vmi as it
really is the great f.e t ef hi*t"ry, the
ileqeot of the ages, the grand parlor of
ail Hod's universe," said Mr. Tabling'-
at the Brooklyn Taliernarle at the
op oiing of on" of Id* morning se-r
--imens. The description of heaven
given in Revelation vii., verse 3 and
P>, he said, representeil heaven on a
great holiday. It is impossible, he
declared, to mine in contact with any
thing beautiful in art or religion with
out being profited and elevates! by it.
The speaker did not feed like a cepting
Dr. Div'* idea, that the inhabitants of
heaven would spend th"ir time ip
studying arithnu'tir anil the Idgh't
| mathematics, but ]>ri'fcrrfsl the state
! inent that life there was passe-el in sing
ing flower songs am! water songs, and
sentimental song*, all to the glory of
i'hri*t. If the kingdom of heaven
could 1m- dissolve 1 and the inhabitants
should vote on the form of govern
inent, t'hrit would he unanimously
elected president of the universe, he
j thought.
ftlock* of Milk.
Irkutsk is a city of Central Siberia
where people have more occasion foj
lire and furs than feir artificial ice
cream or thin clothing. A correspond-
I ent of the Boston ' 'ommtr'-ial ttulUtin
says:
The markets of Irkutsk are an in
! teresting sigtit in the winter time, for
everything on sale is frozen solid.
Fish are piled tip in stacks like so
i much cord-wood, and meat likewise.
; All kinds of fowl are similarly frozen
i and piled up. Some animals brought
, into the market whole are propped up
I on their legs and have the appearanco
i of being actually alive, and as you go
through the markets you seem to lie
! surrounded by living pigs, sheep,
1 oxen and fowls standing up and watch
' ing yon as though you were a visitor
to the learnyanl. But stranger yet,
even the liquids are frozen solid and
sold in blocks. Milk is frozen Into a
block in this way, with a string or a
stick frozen Into or projecting from it
This is for the convenience of the pur
chaser, who can take his milk hy the
string or stick and carry it home,
j swung across the shoulder.
TOPIC* OF Til V. DAY.
There an- said to he fifty injurious
insect/ in our vegetable gardens; fifty i
in our vineyard*, while aeventy-flve
.ittack our apple trei* and more than
fifty our grain field*. Seventy-five mil
lion dollar* i* estimated a* the damage :
done to the wheat in Illinois in one
season, and nearly ten years ago the
annual loss in the t'nited States from
Insert depredatlms alone was esti
mated at nearly #4(10,000,000.
The eleetion of Congressman John
K. Kenna, of West Virginia, to the
I'nited States Senate, at the age of j
thirty five years, revives the history of
similar cases. James Monroe and I
Hayne, the antagonist of Daniel Web
ster, became senators at the age of
thirty two years; Stephen A. Doughis
at thirty four, and fully a dozen men at
Mr. Kenna's age. Aaron llurr was one
of the number. Dwiglit M. Sabin,
elected to the national Senate, as Sen.
ator Windmi'* sue e*sor, is thirty-nine.
Why do suicides often Stlbjeet them
selves to the most horrible tortures in
the effort to get rid of their lives? A
man in Newark not long ago deliber
ately saturated his clothing with
benzine and then set fire to it. We
often h *ar of suicides torturing them
selves to death with violent corrosive
poisons. A few years ago a man in
Jfrooklyn, having become tired of life, !
crawled into a furnace head foremost.
I'he desire to commit suicide is bred of
a morbid mental state which, in easer*
like those cite d, must have been de
veloped into positive insanity.
A visitor to tin- Zurti Indians, of
New Mexico. says that some
>f the cotistsjuences of the v isit
by the leading men of the triU
to the 1 ast. last summer, have len
unpleasant. Pedro I'ino, the oldest of
the tourists, has been tiding *u< h *t.e
riesof his adventure*, and of the mar-,
vels of the white man's ways, that he
has gamed the reputation of being the
bigge-st liar in the nation. The prin
cipal mischief, however, is caused by
liis rejMirt tliat the plainest white
woman he saw in Wa.hington was
handsomer tiian th • prettiest Zuni
girl. A young chief who had leeen
presented with a number of trinkets
hy the Washington women, and who
wore them home with pride, was
obliged to give them Up to his jealous
wife, who dedroved them.
The New York Graphic has Lin
figuring up the places that foreign-!*>rn
citizens occupy In the councils of our
nation. The !ri*h-leorn nieml ers of
the next House of Representatives are
twenty in numb r, while the Herman
-I**ll are seven. <f the twenty
Irish niemlier* f< ur are from
M:ss..uri. New Jersey an 1 Pennsylva
nia have three each; New York
and Indiana.twoe.ed, ; M.iwi diusetts,
Illinois. lowa, Kansas, Nevada and
< 'alifornia, one e.e h. Out of the twenty,
three are Hepuhlirans. Tim seven
Herman* are credited one each to New
5 ork. New Jersey and Massachusetts,
anil two each to Mi< higan and Wiscon
sin. Two of the seven are Republicans.
The only stale the majority of w hose
delegation of the next House is foreign
born is New Jersey.
Women have the right to vote at
school meetings in Kanss, Nebraska,
New Hampshire, Vermont. Dakota
an I Wyoming, at school elections ii
Cob rado and Minnesota, and f"r mein
oers of si h< ol committs-s in Ma**a< hu
sett*. They can vote at school me-t
--ings in Michigan and New York if
they are taxable, in Washington Ter
ritory if they are liable to
taxation. Widows and unmarried
w omen in Idaho may v< t • as to
special il strict taxes if they hold ,
property. In Oregon widows having
children ami taxable property may i
vote at school meetings. In Indiana |
"women not married nor minors, who ,
pay tax-s and are Rated as parents, ,
guardians or heads of families, may ,
vote at school meetings." In Ken.
lucky any white widow having a child
of school age is a qualified school voter: ,
if she has no child but is a taxpayer ,
she may vote on the question of taxes-
Rye is a* favorite a product in most
of the European countii *s as wheat is
in the Pnited Mates. According to an
English paj er. in Hcrmany last year
218,000,(100 bushels of rye were grown,
against 72,000,000 bushels of wheat.
And yet for the sam • v ear, 0,000,000 1
bushels of wheat were exporte 1, and
hut 3,000,000 bushels of rye,
Denmark grew 3,000,000 bushels of
wheat last year and 16,000,000 bushels
of rye. France grew 57.000.000 bush
els of rye last year, and 23.000,000
bushels of "malschen" wheat and rye
grown together. Austria grew 64,-
000,000 bushels of rye last year, against
40,000,000 bushels of wheat, and for
the past ten years has averages! 70,000..
000 bushels of rye and 36,000,000 ,
! bushels of wheat Even Russia, sup
posed to Is; the great wheat Held of
Europe, grows 700,000,000 bushels of
rye per year, against 300,000,000 bush
els of wheat.
The people of Louisville, Ky., hav
ing determined to hold a great Indus
trial exhibition in their city, went
about the necessary preparations with
iui energy and independence which
command admiration and deserve suc
cess. They have also subscribed more
than #2SO,(KM), and have asked f> r no
outside assistance. The main build
ing, now in process of erection, will
cover thirteen acres, and there is every
reason to believe that the exhibition,
which is to last one hundred days, will
open promptly on August 1 of this
year. A circular) issued by the man
agers says: " Whatever ample means,
earm stm-ss and activity can do to
make a great exposition w ill Is- done
and all that the people who have thus
furnished the means ask of the na
tional government, the Mate-, and the
people of our country, is that they will
give moral aid and encouragement t i
the enterprise, that tliev w ill bring to
it exhibit* of their products, their
manufactures, their machinery and
their art*, and that they will come in
person and see this exhibition of the
arts and industries of the various sec
tion* of our land."
The I'u'iliahirx' ll> kl;j ha an In
ten-t.ng table of the hook- publ:-hed
la*t year, divided int a— <s, and com
pared with the numls-r i- u-! in l*Kl.
The 14V kip savs that " liction, theology
and juvenile work* lea 1 the list, as in
the two former years. in general lit
erature the predominance of 1.0 ks by
American writers -ucl on subject* pe
culiarly American, ise\ > n tic re notice,
able than la-t year." Following!* the
table;
]* l. I<*?.
Kirticcn .V7 717
Thc)c>(f) riinl Reliaiccn . . ■ -11 .'W
•tufc-iulc- IVaik*. :£* 1771
Ixiw . 7c; M
Kdiicsti'cn laouzuKnc- . . 17.7 221
Mrdiral KriHM*. H)iru-iu-. . I'JD Is*
IS—cMpUoti. Tri>*.-1. rlc lea IKS
lti<>irrn|>h)r, Mc-Bjiur*. etc- 21-' I*l
I'cs-tr) Mid Uc> 1 In,inn . I'J.e l*o
I,iU-rry Hi*U>r> euid Mi-xvJLx.ii). 12* l'cs
111* tor) . lO* 11*
Social and Political Hcienoe. SC 11?
Ph)icaJ and Malhe-matical
Sru-ncc HB 10S
Fine Ant Illntrat-d Work- .. 7.7 *.cl
INeful Arte . 7* K7
Itceik* of Keferenes ... 71 *6
Humor and Satire .'V> 3ii
S -irte. AlliU-enicnte, etc 21 2*
Menial and Moral l"hil<e-•( !■>' 27 21
Mtl*ic Iweik* icluefl) Singinsi
He.k> 21 21
IloiiH-Ur and Kureil KoeU.rn) . an 22
Total S'.r.'l 3.472
The population of the prin*'ij alciv
ilized countries of the world.nu-cording
to the tno*t recc-nt census f. re ach, re
turn* for but few cif them being older
than I*7'.', are a* follows, with lite p< .
rentage* of annual increase appended :
France. 37.321,1*0, .22. l'rus la 27,27'.)..
111. 1.23; Saxony, 2.'.72>"5. 1.54; Ha
vana. 5,2*4.77*. I'D; Austria, 22,-
1 4 4.24 4. .7*; Hungary, 15,725.71(1, .13;
Belgium, 5,5. p;/.51, ; Hoilan I.
4,0 l 2,633, 1.21: sxvit crland. 2.846.102.
.is",; Swccicn. I,fa.Norway,
l.*7*.l'i .'id; spam. 1<1,'25.Ki.i) >e'>;
It ilv, 2*. 1 !7,tr.H, .7u Russia in I n
in]*', K3,626.5'.Rt, 1.32; England ,uid
Wales. 25.36H.286, 1.43; Scotland,
.1,731,370, 1.11; Ireland, 1.150.8.33,
.17; Tinted Stat"**. 50,155,783,
2.1*6. Russia in Europe i* the only
country it will l>c seen, in
this list that mrpus-c* the I'nitod
Mate* in the nuinl "r of it* inhabit
ants, while the neare st approach tt at
I* made to the I'n.t' i State* in the
matter of increase- is saxony, which,
shows a percentage of 1.54. as aga n*t
ours <d 2.t(6, eer only about one-half as
great a p -rcentage.
A st. Louis ma'i of wedth, Ix-ing
alsiut to undergo a dang TOUR surgical
operation, sent for a lawyer to draw- a
will. He coolly and < arefullv explained
that his only relative's werenieces, nho
had firmly convinced him that th"y
cared nothing for hint aside from his
money, and that he had long before do
cided 11 leave them nothing. His
reason for previously making no will
was that he [had not decided whom to
enrich, or whether he should let his
estate go to charities. In view of a
possibly fatal result of the
surgeons' work, however, he
would devise everything to his land
lady, who had taken excellent care of
him and was a deserving woman. It
was clear that, in case lie recovend, he
meant to destroy the document. Nev
ertheh as it was drawn with legal care,
witnessed by the several physicians,
and signed by the testator. He died
within an hour. Wills are contested
licfore juries in Missouri, ami the
nieces won a verdict against the will;
but the court of appeal* declares that
there was no reason for lielieving that
it was made under any undue Influ
ence or fraud, and therefore it must
stand.
The ex|ense of cigars should he J
j down as among " losses 1* Arc."
IN THE HARBOR
When ! compare
What I have lost with what I have gained.
What I have r.,',zzsl with wh t attained,
Jjttle room do 1 find for pride.
I am aware
How in an > <l■■ j have b<wn )( J!y
How Ilka an a-row th good in taut
HM fallen short or b*-;:i torrioJ iMid't,
Hot who haii dare
To rneasorc o a and if*in m ihf * wise?
ma) he tictoiy ia illsgtii**,
The lowet ebb H the tom of the tide.
ljM'jfrl low.
IM'MJFM I'AIUbKIPifH.
Always shown tip- Kites ,
Men of winning ways 'ramblers.
A iiiihl season Adulterated p*jjx-r.
A j>oor relation to be avoided, is f*ll
ig a story badly.
It's thca*Hign"e in bankrupt" y who
has painful wreck-co! lection*
The sculpt >r is the most likely of ;i!l
men to eut a figure in the world.
The dead-beat, pour in the good* of
thia world, is generally r ch in taffy.
The electric ineamlesi-ent jeeket
book is the latent; it is always light.
i How to expedite th • male*— liet
| papa to a*k what their intnti"fis are.
i \\ hen a button come* off the back of
| a man's shirt collar his choler liegmsto
{ rise.
1 The average bill-poster w< trs no
i diamonds. Paste is good enough for
! ht tn.
The nroprietors of ice-ho ises make
; many a cool tho wand in the course of
i a year.
Look to your fire escapes. In other
words settle your debts and pay y ir
| pew rents.
i tienerous natiir-- will he-'at" ab ■it
leking a jist ig<- stamp when it gets
luwn to two cents.
The man who arrival at the station
a moment too late for the tr.i.n had a
splendid carrcar before him.
!
Tending bar! as a tendency • i make
a man a pugilist. He gets uvl to mak
ing punches and knocking down.
Ctah has marble enough to supply
every one in America with a tomb
stone, and cheerfully observes all she
wants is a market for it.
Some genius has invented a machine
to play pianos. This will give Aineri
can girls a chance to help mother hang
out the > lothea Monday afters -in.
Tlie fashionable spring lon net. it is
indcrstood. will !- small enough to go
in a Saratoga trunk without the ne
l cessitv of removing any of the trun
j tilings.
i A I a'd headed man w h<> has lr-ard
that th-bairsonainan'sh ad arenutn
bend, wants to know if there is not
some pla where he cm obtain the
b.< k numls-rs.
"Mrs. I.oftv," said the tea In r.
i your son < intra ted some had
habits." "<;ial t>>B|hr you sav so."
was the answer; "his bai habits cer
: ta nly nistl contraction."
A (syra'-nse young lady has a peculiar
mode of reckoning time on Sunday.
I.ast Sunday evening, about 6 o'clock
i alien asked what time it was. slie re
; plied "Five minutes of smith."
Dominick Hoffman, a newly elected
| |ii-tice of the jveace in Huliuque, got
frighten" d when calhsl on to perform
his first official act. a marriage c-re
mony, and resigned immediately. A
burnt child dreails the fire.
A llrookl.cn landlady recently
dropped h<r false teeth into one of In r
boarder's cup <>f coffee. He iinmedi- J
ately made her a present of the coffee BB
, and generously told her she n sdn't
give him rr<-dit for it on his bill.
A t'alifornia man lias invented a
patent stovepipe, having screw joints.
against which no living or
thing can possibly contend. To
liencfactor of mankind all honor
due, but what also is needed is a
seated chair that won't floor a man
w h" n he stands on the edge of it.
A lee in a ros-bud: Arthur f'rgy- I
on "Miss Hosetmd, I have brought a
little picture which I painted especially
for you. It has proved a \ erf pleasant
tak "luring the month that 1 worked
on it." Pinky lbvspbud—"Oh. thank*.
Mr. Crayon.you are very kinl. but 1
am afraid that I must return the H
frame, as mother never allows me to
accept present %of any value from >
gentlemen."
vim Twiao* oo wansn.
Ala* I how easily thing* go wrong,
A sigh too mack or a kin* too long;
And there onmes a mist and a drenching
rain, * '
And things are never ihe same again.
-Hot ton Star.
Alaa 1 how easily things go wrong.
A sigh too tnoeh or a kiss too long;
And there mme ihe old man with a nana.
And things are Barer the mum .again.
Hurt on.* Union.
Alas 1 how easily things go wrong,
A sigh too tnnch or a kiss too long;
Yet who from kissing would refrain,
let thing* be never the same again f
n*Vehag Jxmntal
■■ L &.W e