Centre Democrat. (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, February 22, 1883, Image 2

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    FLORAS LESSON.
Flora Fountain w as feeding her cage
of linnets at the window, where a
flourishing vineof dark-green ivy trailed
its way up the panes, and a rose-tree
was in full bloom. It was a pretty
little house of red brick, with brown-'
stone facings, such as you often see in j
the quieter and less aspiring streets of j
a great city a house which ls>re traces j
of taste, refinement, and some preten
sion.
Flora, at the age of twenty, bad lieon j
her father's housekeeper for four
years and this morning he had given j
her a cheque for fifty dollars.
"To buy a new dinner-set of china, j
my dear," he said, pleasantly. 1 intend i
to invite Hates and l'lumcr and their j
wives to dinner in a few days, with j
young Hayden and 11st* Misses Hazel,
and I should like everything tobeshijv
!ia|ie."
"Yes, papa," said Flora.
Hut the slight rurl of her lip told
that the familiesof l'lumcr and Hates,
the Misses Hazel and young Hayden,
were scarcely up toiler videal views of
society."
"You might ask Mrs. Penrith Duke,
too, If you pleased," said Mr. Fountain,
incidentally.
"Mrs. Penrith Duke! To meet Mrs.
l'lumcr and Misses Ha/cl! Oh, papa!" 1
Mr. Fountain shrugged his broad, |
comfortable shoulders.
"And why not?" said ho. "Is Mrs. ,
Penrith Duke ma le of different flesh
and hiood from these excellent friends i
of mine?" 1 |
"No, papa," hesitated Flora, a little i
confused that her inwardtlioiights had i
been so readily deciphered; "hut but
silo moves in altogether a dif- ,
ferent circle!"
"Well, then, there let her remain," i
said Mr. Fountain, brusquely. ''And
as for the china, Flo, exercise your own
taste. If there is any glass needed, let ,
me know. 1 w ant things to be in nice
order."
"Papa," hesitated Flora,"is is busi-,
ness flourishing just now ?" ,
"Pretty fairly, Flo. Why do you
ask ?"
"Oh, papa!" burst out the girl, "1 d<>
solong for a real camel's hair shawl
jike Mrs, Penrith Duke's!"
"Nonsense!" decisively uttered Mr.
Fountain. "Camel's-hair shawls would
be just as inappropriate for people in
our rank of life as diamonds for ser
vants in livery. This is some of your
friend Mrs. Penrith Duke's mud folly."
Flora colored, and hung her head.
"1 have always longi-d for a eash
moreshawl, papa," said she.
Then put it out of your head for good
and all," said Mr. Fountain. "I can
afford no such piece extrav ;iganrc;ncit ti
er would it lie appropriate for you to
wear one if I could."
"I can't think," sighrd Flora to her
self, aa she watched her father's de
parting footsteps, "why papa hates
Mrs. Penrith Duke so dreadfully, I am
sure that to nie her friendship is per
fectly invaluable."
And then, having finished the morn
ing care of the birds, Flora Fountain
sat down to road the paper.
What pointing "finger of fate" was
it that directed her gaze to the special
paragraph of tho special col
umn of tho morning paper which
read;
/ <BKT ntnovtss is cticr.t's iiim moui.
Direct from India. Will tHMlisposcd
of nt print! "nle. it IMS than half pries.
A|>t>ljr at No. Marion Htrvct.
And, within the next five minutes
tho postman's whistle sounded loud
and clear, and a letter came from
Cousin Phebe, up in Mains, to let her
know that old Aunt Huellah was dead
at last.
"And she tuts left you her sot of
antique china, worth nobody knows
how much, and all in perfect order,"
wrote Cousin Phils*. "1 have ordered
it lioxcd and sent to you at iuff-e, and
you will probably receive it the last of
the week."
A sudden inspiration dawned on
Flora Fountain's brain.
"I shall not nwil the new dinner
china now," she thought. "And I can
take papa's cheque, and who knows?
-perhaps it w ill help to buy me a real
camel's-hair shawl! i have forty dol
lars of my own, and I could borrow
just for a day or two the money that
papa gnvo inn for Hetty's w ages. It is
worth the trial, at all events, if bar
gains are to lie had."
And with quickening pulse and color
deepening on her cheek, Flora put on
her bonnet and mantle and prepared to
go out.
Never before in all the course of her
life hail set at defiance
the wishesand commands of her father;
but the influence of Mrs. Penrith Duke,
whom she had met at a fashionable
waterlng-plm-e thit summer, was
stronger than she had a*7 idea of,
Mrs. Penrith Puko had declared
that no lady was a lady without a real
rndiinera shawl. MM. Penrith I)uke
Ual praised Flora'a slim, pretty figure,
I and doclarod that it was the very form |
to sot oft the scented folds of un India J
shawl.
She h:ul mentioned, incidentally, that
a camel's-hair was liko diamonds, or
raro oil-paintings a Ufa-long invest
inant. She had wondered in liar soft
voiced, pretty way, why every lady did
not huy a Valley cashmere !
And Flora, listening, hail become in- :
facted with the yearning desire to
jsissess one of these almost unattain
able luxuries.
No. Margin street was a dirty
little house, in a dirty little row, close
"to the docks. Flora had never been
so far West before, ami the aspect of !
things did not strike her agreeably. ,
Hough-looking men, in tarry jackets
and course boots, slouched past; knots
of half-grown young ruthaus stared at
her as she went by, and untidy women,
with children in their arms, disap
peared intodark doorways, like rats in
to their holes.
"Is this the place where they sell
India shawl*?" she hesitatingly asked
a young girl, with unkempt hair and
sullen face, who leaned out of one of
the side windows ol No. Margin
street.
"Don't know anything ulioiit it,"
said the girl, indifferently.
"Can't ve spake the lady dacent.l
Meg?" snarlingly interriitisl a fat old
woman, looking out over the girl's
shoulder. "It's through the alley, miss,
dear up two pair o' stairs the little
room under tie- skylight. Ask lor Mr-
Conforto, miss Miesay-capt'in. Shure
the shaw ls is gr. .it bargains, betoken
there ain't 1 on no duty paid on 'em,
miss!" with a grin which displayed a
few gnarly stumps of teeth in usunken
old jaw.
"Through the alley!" "up two pair
o' stairs!" i "little room under a sky
light!" Instinctively Flora recoiled,
and the old woman pcrc-utsl it at
once.
"Shure, miss. I'll go w id ye/, an' show
yez the way," said -he.
And not knowing how to refuse this
offer. Flora unwillingly followed tn-r
waddling bsitstcps through a dark and
dismal alley, aeross a pav <sl court and
up two marrow (lights of *tairs, to a
gloomy, half-lighted room, where a
short, vulgar man sat. smoking a black
pipe,in the midst of IH.V<-. bales and
bundles.
"bargains, miss?" said the short
vulgar man, jumping up. "Shcddah,
Mhurlporc, l.ai •a. \ alb y Itokh.irali
which will I show you miss?"
Flora hesitated and colored, under
his brazen start*.
"I had not made up my mind to buy,"
she staid, "and
"Oh, but you inust buy'" chattered
Captain Conforto. "You shall buy'
You can't help buying in a place like
this, when I show volt what w'u got."
And jumping around like an over
grown kangaroo, he unfolded some
coarse, high-colored, stri|n*l shawls,
one or two with a rivulet of white
seeming to meaniier over dull-red
grounds, and some that seemed pi have
been out in a storm at sea and got
thoroughly stained with salt water.
Flora, howev or uneducated in lech
niealitics, was an artist at soul, and re
eoilisl from these gaudy alHiuunations.
"I I don't quite like the sc." slo*
hesitated. "I do not think I will pur
chase today."
"N"t like them!" c-hoed the sc.( cap
tain if sea-captain he was. "Not
like them! Nobody ev<-r aid that
before to Ltsitard Conforto! I ain't
used to 1m- talked to in that there way.
I tut if the lady don't like 'em,she needn't '
to boy 'em. I ain't obliged to put my
bargains down people's throats, that I
ain't!"
And he hustled around, muttering to i
himself and tossing the things about,
brushing past Miss Fountain very dis
' agreeably once or twice as he did si.
Flora turned to go, but her fat guide
had unaccountably disappeared, and
she was obliged to retrace her steps as
best she could.
"At all events," she said to herself,
"I'm glad I am well out of that place."
Making the best of her way up to
Third avenue, she entered a car to ride
home; but when she put her hand in
her pocket to pay her fare, the little
purse into which she had so carefully
packed Iter money was gone.
It flashed over her then, all in an
instant. Her pocket was picked; and
probably by Captain Leotard Cotnfort 0
himself.
"Never mind the fare miss, said the
conductor, a stout, fatherly old miui >
who doubtless had daughters of his
own, "I'll wc that it's all right, and
you can pay me any time you please."
N> Flora got home just in time to
hurst out crying on her father's
shoulder, and confess it all to his kindly
i ear.
i "Oh, papa, pa|a!" sol died she. "1
I have disobeyed you, and I never ran
II forgive myself!"
• ; Mr. Fountain only patted her cheek
, i and kissed her.
"Don't fret, Flo," said lie. "We've
ail gut life's lessons to learn, and ex
perience is a rigorous teacher."
The police, sent to break up Captain
('onforto'.s den in Margin Street, found
nothing and noliody there hut u mild |
old gentleman in spectacles, reading \
the papers, who had charge of letting
the premises. Me had never heard of |
Captain Conforto— neither was the fat j
woman, who had acted as volunteer
guide to Flora, to be found up stairs or |
down.
"It's a liuil block, this 'ere," said the
policeman, to Mr. Fountain. "They j
calls it Swindle How. But they're
that slippery here ;us nobody can lay a
finger on 'em !"
So begun and ended poor Flora's
dream of an India shawl. And the
delusion of worshipping Mrs. I 'en rit h
Duke is wearing away also, especially
since that high-toned l.uly gave a'
•soiree dansante, and neglected to ini itr
Miss Fountain, observing, languidly,
that "one couldn't till one's drawing
room With nobodies."
And Flora has conic to the conclu
sion that perhaps the Hates', the
l'lumcrsand the Ma/els of life are a
desirable as the I'eiirith Dukes.
Chinese Salutations.
There are three different. sr
-dotation hi China when two men
meet, depending upon their relative,
rank. The lirst, uv-I lictwecti equals,
i- like our hand shaking, except that
instead of grasping each other's hand
each double* loapely bis fists, brings I
11 i-ii ■ together ami hakes them up and
down. In the ■■■ oiid the interior lien*ls
one knee to h • mij ■ ri->r. In the third,
■ •ailed the "K<- t"ii" the inferior
gets .low u on bis bands and knees in
front of this su|icr;or, and kn-sk* h:s
lead thro- tine-, upon the ground or
floor.
\\ hen high officer* of date in < bma,
even though they !• "prince* <>f the
imperial bloo.1," have audience with
the einperur, they are oldig.sl to rejM'.at
this last op. ration three times. In the
"C.sle of Etiquette" it is called the
"three prostrations and nine knock
ing*." When the foreign ministers in
Peking apple*! in January, 1*73, for
audience with the Ein|MTor Tung
Chill. Who had just I - ended the throne,
the Chinese government in*isted that
they should make thi* nrostration l
fore hi* imperial majesty.
Of course the ministers refused to
do so, and tin* audience was d-'layd
nearly six months IM-.au*.' "f this re
fusal. The Chinese yielded at last,
laiwever. and hi* majesty content.*!
himself with thr. <• profound Imw * from
the "fcreign barhari.uis." b-uDi'-
i '■itnjxntioH.
One Htep at a Time.
I once stood at the foot of a Sui**
mountain which towed up fr->in the
foot of the Visphach Valley to a height
of 10,1**1 feet. It looked like a tre
mendou* pull to the top. Hut I said to
myself, "I >h. it w ill r*pnre but one step
atatime' "Hefore sunset I stood on the
summit, enjoying the magnificent \ iew
~f the jK'.aks around ine, and right <>j>-
positeto in.- flashed the icy crown "|
ttie Wei**horn, which Professor Tyn
dall was the tirst man to discover, bv
taking one stej. at a time.
Every Ih>v who would master a dif
ficult study, every youth, who ho|.e*
to get on in the wori-l, must k.-cp this
motto in hand. When the fatuous
Arago was a s<h.>l-l>oy he got dis
couraged over math iliaUe- H'ij one
day he found on the waste leaf of the
cover of his text lM>k a short letter
from D'Alemtwrt to a youth dis-our
agist like himsi'lf. The wlvice which
D'Alemticrt gave was, "Ho.m, sir.
go on." "That little sentence,'
says Arago. "was my Ix-st teacher
in mathematics." Me did push on
steadily, until he lieratne the greatest
mathematicisn >f his day, by master
ing one step at a tone.
The wool manufacturing 'stahlish
ments of the I nit.sl state* now numlier
2,0.84, with a capital f # 1.'(0.644,870,
They give employment to 7,'i,334 men
and Br.,6tM women and children. The
average paid each toiler is 1293.05 a
year, or SU.I2 a month. These mills
consume 2'.x>, 1 i'2.22'.' pound* of wool, of
which 2*22,991,531 are of hotne produc
tion, and -53,200,698 |*und* rotne from
abroad. The average cost of the wool
i* thirty-two cents a pound. The man u
factories make a profit of thirty-six and
one-half per cent, on the capital it*
vested, clear of all expense*.
The methods of tran*|orting cattle
across the Atlantic liavo Iwn so im
proved that the voyage is accomplished
by the cattle now in safety. A system
of ventilation has leen adopted
whereby in all *<rt* of weather, even
w Ith the hatches flattened down, the
i holds In which the cattle are can lie
kept free from the noxious vu|ors,
which otherwise produce sufWatlon.
n.M*t.n "a the largest market for
l boots and shoos in the w orhl.
HEWITT TALMA HE'S LFX (J Til OF
LIFE.
ItfQMiii Wbv ft >|NT l>f flrllrr to Mle
Y 011114 ftmn 10 1.1 % r lo br Old.
"If any one dies in youth," said l)r.
Talinage, "wo ay, 'What a pltjr!* If
one las in pleasant circumstances he
never wants to go. William t'tillcn
liryant at eighty-two standing in my
house and reading 'Thadatopsis' with
out sjieetaeles, was just as anxious to
live as when ho wrote that immortal
threnody. (Into at ninty was afraid ho
wouldn't live to learn (.reek. Thur
low Weed at eighty-nine found life as
great a pleasure as when he snuffed
out his lirst politician. I suppose that
Methusaleh at IXSO was afraid to go out
in a storm arid get his feet wet lest he
should shorten his days."
Dr. Taltnage said that if he were an
agnostic lie would call a man blest ac
cording to the number of years he
could stay on terra firma. Hut, since
men ls-lieve in immortality, an übbrc.
viated cxi.st.euee on earth is a blessing
because it makes one's life more com
pact. Soino men can do their day's work
in ten hours, some in live, ami some in
one; and, other things being equal, the
man is to lie congratulated who can
get through his work in one hour. If
a person dies at live years he gets
through his work at nine in the morn
ing, it hedicsat foiirty he gets through
at noon; if lie dies at seventy he gits
through at live in the afternoon, and if
he die.s at ninety he lias to toil up to
eleven o'clock at night.
" All we ought to be anxious al-uit is
to get our work done, and well done,"
said Dr. Taltnage, "and the .oner the
better. The number of men who fall
into ruin l>etw<-n fifty and seventy
years of age is simply appalling. If
they had died a' thirty it would have
icon lictter for themselves and for
their fninilh**. The great temptation
of a man's life sometime* comes far on
111 middle life. At alsiut fourtv-flve
years o! age a man's nervous system
changes. Uy the advice of some friend
he takes stimulant to keep him up, and
he go.-, on taking stimulant until it
keeps him down. Concerning a vast
multitude, it soolns as if it Would )*•
tietter for them to emltark from this
earth early in life. Why do so many
iio Itefore they are thirty years old f
Because Hod sees the storm coining up
from the CariMs-an and runs them
into the first harbor. If a soldier who
hi. bc-n on guard all night i. glad
when someone comes to relieve him,
ught not that man to shout for joy
who e.in put down his wrajtons and go
into the King", castle?"
Illustrating how men eweape jx-nls
• arly in life and fall with them later,
Dr. Talmage said : "The first tune I
ross.sl the Atlantic ocean it was as
siii.'th as a mill jwnd, and I wrote a
magazine on the calm sea. If I hadn't
written it then, lefurs I cr<s.**l the
ocean again, 1 never could have w rittno
it."
Another reason why it is a blessing
to die early. Dr. Talmage said, ls lo
calise th'eie who die in youth escape so
many earthly bereavements. Me enu
merated some of the sorrows which
King David would have es. aiK.lif he
had been taken from life in youth, and
said that he would have also escape.!
the crimes of umlcanm** and murder.
•When (.."1 takes little children," the
prea'-hercontinued, lie usually takes
the bright--*!. Why? Because thev
would have the greatest capacity tw
suffering if jK'rinitt.sl to live."
" \g.un. to die early in life," Dr. Tal
mage said, "brings one so much the
sooner tatho centre of things. All
astronomers agree that the universe
swings around some great centre.
Hod's favorite figure in geometry istho
circle. Somewhere is the great huh
around which the wheel of the uni
verse turns, and that is Heaven. Our
standpoint in this world is defective.
We are at the end of the telescope.
We are down in the cellar of life, and
yet trying to scan the hroad heavens
of immortality, while our depart.*]
Christian friends have gone up stairs
to study it. The child who diet] at five
years of age a few .lavs ago, at w hose
funeral 1 officiated, knows more to-day
of Hod than Andover or Princeton or
Edinburgh or all the theologians of the
world. Yet men are rushing around
among the apothecaries, wondering if
this medicine is g<*sl for neuralgia,
and that for rheumatism, and others
for other disease*, lest they should !*•
suddenly ushered into heaven. Men
i ought not to go around groaning be
i cause another year is gone. We ought
i to lie living not according to the old
: maxim, which says men should live as
though every day might U their last,
but as though wo were to live forever.
But don't let us lie nervous lest we
should have to move out of a shanty
, into an Alhatnbra."
During the year 1882, 830,000,000
gallons of lieea were consumed in tier
| many, making the average numlier ol
I gallons drunk by each individual
1 a'lout twenty.
PEAKLH OF THOUGHT.
Moderation in temper Is always
virtue, but moderation in principle hi
a sjM'.'ies of vice.
W should not injure others In char
acter, because it enriches us not, hut
makes them poor indeed
Reason like time, will make its own
way, and prejudice will fail in th<
combat with intellect.
There is no rule more invariable than
that we are paid for our suspicions bv
finding what we suspect.
Nature has given us two ears and
but one tongue, in order that we may
repeat hut one-half of what we hear.
What makes many persons diseon
tented with their own condition is the
absurd idea they form of the happiness
?f others.
There is a power in the direct glanw
of a sincere and loving soul, whirh will
do more lo dissipate prejudice and
kindle charity than the most elalsiratc
arguments.
(inr greatest glory is not in never
falling, but in ri-iiig every time iv
fall. A gem i* not polished without
rubbing, nor i a man jiwrfcetcd without
Dial*.
Ilird Debited*.
T>om in the eonslriteiion of then
nests, display a gnat apparent - an !<•**■
iii—- or want of skill. The coarse
sti.'ks that eolnpose their lies'.* are SO
closely thrown tog. til.; t .at one would
hardly 1 -li. ve they could hold the . gg-
Thui e\ i'lently a proVi-eiii of Nature
to ■ ore the young fr- iu vermin, hi. •
till practice of Woodpe- ker- of lying
their eggs on the bare wood. A similar
iui|M rfectiun f i-tnietiire marks the
ne-ts of some of Hie larger birds.
Hut what should certain r-p. ej. Ik
endowed with thi* eon - native in
nstinet, whih' in others it is entirely
wanting? Hy careful ob.-ervation w
may find ar< .cm for it. The wood
jss kers lay their ggs on.thelstre w-kk!
that vermin may n<-t find a harlx-r in 1
the materials of a not; but when a
w r- n or a - hiekadee tak.-s jx-sv-ssion of
one of these \ a--at-sl hollows it till it
with materials that an- fitt.-d to harb -r
swarms of xermin, but each of these
birds f-ssls on the minutest crawling
inserts, and with it* mi. r-*. >j>ic vision
can easily destroy all that enter .■.
al-sl-'. H'7*on ?
>'ot Allowed.
They do not in (iermany allow lh •
nam. * of dialingui-hcl families to be
as*uni.*l at will by person* n<t entitl<*l
to their ue by birth. An actress in
the Wilheliu theat re, Berlin, call.sl h--r
---s-'lf Yon Boon when she went UJH n
the stage, and wa.* given out to IK- a
near relative of the great Y>-n R<on
family, of w inch the head w as formerly
niinisler of war. As s}„. iw-gan t) to
quin reputation and get talk-*l al*iut.
this pretended relationship bi the A"on
Boon* l-eeanie unpleasant to the aristo
cratic houw. and the manager of the
theatre nerivwl a summary olfi.-iai no.
tilieation that the aspiring actress
woul.l have to discontinue the u*.' ol
th.-ir name. This is the explanation
of the fact that shortly thereafter the
announcement wa* uia>le that "Miss
Von B "in had b.-ri obliged to with
draw from the company in r-ins.-quenec
of a death in lu-r family." Sinew this
announcement wa; made. Mi>s \*->n
B.s.n hasriot r turnisl. IDr place, how
ever. ha* be. n filled 1-y am ' >i< r y-nng
la.lv very mu. hr- -eniblnig her in aje
pearance, though kn.iwn by another
name.
Mrs. Theodore Tilton was recently
visit.sl by a friend, who found her in a
boarding-house in Brooklyn, and who
xvrites; "She is fearfully altered by
cares. Her jwrs-mal Isauty, once very
marked, i* almost gone—only here and
there a trace. The soft, bright, inno
cent eye remain*, but that alone. Her
delicate hand*, .-nee soft a* velvet, are
hard with toil; the lustrous, dark
bmwu hair i* very gray, and the pink
and white of her old lswutlftil com
plexion repla.-cl by a dull sallow, but
her life is full of peace and re.*t that
•the world cannot give.'"
Certain kinds of w<"d, of great dsrra
oility when us.sl alone, have, when
joined together, a very destructive in
fluence upon each other. If cypress is
joined to walnut, or if cedar is joined |
lo cypress, decay is indurod In both ;
woods, which cea*es. however, as soon
A woman at Kingston. New Mexico
gets praise for erecting a log cabin
without help. She cut the logs, hauled
them, made the shingles for the roof
and put the structure together. She ,
ha* a husband, who tak.w care of the '
children.
—
The daily earnings in the cotton fac- i
torie* of this count ry are nearly double
what they'were in 1840. The total
number of spinning spindles is 10,653,- \
135; of lot'in.*. 22A,7. r >9. The actual eon- |
sumption of cotton but year was 1,7t>0,-1
009 bale*. * J
Sorrow.
When I wit* j'ojjitf, I *ni<l to sorrow,
"Coma and I will play witli thee!"
Ha in near rrii- now all (lay.
And atniifM return* to nay,
"1 will corne airnui to-morrow
I will conn* and ntay with thee."
Trough the world wo walk together—
liio n/jft f(joUU-|n rti tie by me ;
To nhleld an unregarded head
He lutth built a winter shod j
And all night in rainy weather
I hear Inn gentle breathing* hy roe.
Atliury lit Yrrt
I'I'MiKVT I'Alt t(. It A I'll H.
A Cold Npcll—l-c-c.
High tied Married up in ; balloon.
The telegraph cannot sing.but it can
beat time.
Fashion journals are prnp*rjr clav
Bilie-I an the clothes press.
SjgV'UlatorH who get squeezed jn a
jxirk deal naturally ->pioal.
'J he tight styleof pantuioons is going
out of fashion and the young men of
the country • .in now draw a longbreath
of relief.
A man iri Boston has iti. -Tried g
stone-' ntting machine which can do
the wool, of sixty-four men. Better
b< ritence it to State I'rison.
Aii Ohio woman armed with a broom-
Hti< k ami a flat-iron j.ut to flight two
masked hurglars the other day. When
lovely woman .stoops to Hat-irony she
mal.e, a micci-as of it.
The extremity of forethought: Me
thods al man going through the formal
ities of an introduction "Let me
pre-cnt you, r, to my wife .rnd'iny
slaughter. Theelder lady my wife!"
1 he I'ullmari train hadn't run more
than ten miles Iwforethe r' lils-r.shcad
e<l it, "You're lucky." aid one of the
passenger* to the h-.nli-r of tiie gang,
"the port< r hasn't lss-n through the '.ir
yet."
Lils-ral landlrd— "What are you
doing in my liar I. yard'" Irish tramp
(engaged m tnemling his cloth'**) —"I
was jist a gatherm' in me nnts, v>rr''
The 'twpiire dr-'j.-, the •-ui>j < t and rc
tir*s.
"Your liushand I* a staid man now
is he nota*ko>l a former schoolmate
r>f her fri'iid who had married a roan
rather noted for his fast habits. "I
think so." was the r> jily, "he stayed
rait all last night."
Herbert Sja*ticr-r consider* the wear
ing ' f p. iiit.sl-to<s| shoe* and skin-light
tr ,-t r- a wall d :inrl mark of mental
nut* ility. This J'Ve]-h< at*l remark
r. assures us a- to the s< undue** of Mr.
>pen<'< r a- a philosopher.
A young lady in failing health aje
pliisl t-i a physician b-r ;kl\ i'-e." "Well,"
he said, as hedisr-ovt r'sl the jHiisonott*
compounds which h.el made her once
raven h* k* a fa-lnonaMe hlonde color,
"I would suggi -t a < hajige "f hair."
"\V< 11, she isn't my style of Iwauty,"
was the contemptuous remark of the
lady with the snuh nose. ">> I per
ceive," said Mrs. Hlunt. As there wan
no • han> e for an argument, the subject
was dropped instaiiU'r. Itc*t<in Tran
trript.
Mi-s llowo. of Host on, has written
a play for seven girls. It is understood
that the heroine falls down while skat
ing and Is saved by a piece of > hew ing
gutn which she hail thoughtfully
pLirssl in her j-orkct Udore leaving
home.
As long as she lives]: "I don't care
what anybody says," remarked Mrs.
1' _*g warmly; "Mr. lloltis is a good
doctor, and I shall employ him as long
as I live." "Very likely," replied
Fogg; "I believe it is the same with
all hi* patients. They all employ hint
its long as they live that is to say,
until he gets through with them."
In a town not many miles from Bos
ton, a man stepped into a neighl>or'
house where he saw the head of the
family lying upon his kick on the
floor, and his wife standing over him,
as ho thought, with a threatening air *
He was alxmt to withdraw when tho
prostrate man shouted "t'oinealong in.
.Steve; she is only chalking me out a
pair of pants."
A lady stood patiently before the re
ceiving teller's window in a New York
bank the other day, hut noonetook any
notice of her till she attracted the at
tention of the money taker by tapping
with her parasol on the glawi. "Why
don't you pay attention to me?" she
said petulantly. "I'm sorry, ma'am,
but we don't pay anything here. Next
window, please," waa the |*>litc re
sponse.
A traveler In France, whose con
science would not allow him to use
strong language, found out that at the
hotel w here he w as staying the waiters
hail been so accustomed to hear Eng
lishmen do ao that they set hint down
as a milksop and neglected him amml
ingly. He therefore hit upon this ex
pedirnt to seetire a proper amount of
attention: Whenever he gave an order
he rolled out In sonorous tones the
words, "Northnmliertand, Cumberland,
Durham." The effect was marvelous.