A BAG OF RAGS
The keen autumn air blew sharply
into the room, r.s pretty Agatha For
syth* threw up the mush and leanisl out.
A deep voice below coming from a
form almost hidden by the syringa
bushes, said, softly:
"Is that you, 'Gatha?"
"\ es," .was the reply, given aoti'ly.
"Can't you come down?" said Rick
I "Hevnohls, rather impatiently, looking
up at the smiling face.
"In a little while, Hick, just as soon
as Grannie is asleep. She has just
gone to her room. Yu must ho pa
tient, Dick, dear," and the window
closed.
"Dick, dear," was not very patient,
however, and paced the walk for fif
teen minutes before Agatha's blue
dress appeared at thedoor.with Agatha
in it. After a very ardent greeting,
Dick said:
"I declare it's too bad I can't come
and seo you likeother fellows come to
see their sweethearts. 1 wonder what
makes your grandmother dislike me
so. I've never done her any harm,only
I want her one grandchild. lam not
a bad character, have a good position,
and why she will not let you marry
me, and yet is willing to give you to
that Dalford follow. is a mystery.
"O, Grannie is getting old, you
know, Dick, and she fancies you are
exactly like your grandfather was,
who was her lover, and who almost
broke her out.
"And she's afraid I'll break yours,
darling? Well, we'll see," and then a
long and very interesting conversation
frllowed. At last Agatha declared she
must go in.
"Don't fail, me 'Gatha," I tick said,
as he gave her his farewell ki>s.
"Never fear," said 'Gatha. blushing
in the darkness, and sho quickly dis
appeared in the house.
The next day Grannie seemed to
ho particularly provoking, and tried
Agatha's patience sorely.
"What makes you look so happy,"
she asked sternly, as 'Gatha sang, and
blushed end smiled to herself as she
went about the big drawing-room,
dusting ami arranging the many
kniek knacks.
"Nothing." said Agatha.
"I know better," replied her grand
mother sharply. "It's that Dirk Rey
nolds. Have you been writing to
him ?"
"No."
1 "Has he written to you?"
"So."
"Well,you've sjen each other then?"
'Gatha blushed guiltily, and then
iost her temper, which was such an
unusual thing for her to do, that her
grandmother was quite startled.
"I should think. Grannie, you'd he
ashamed of yourself. I love Dick
Reynolds, and I always shall. If you
could give me just reason why I
should not marry him. I would never
disobey you. Rut you cannot. You
say he will surely prove treachomus
like his grandfather. Am I like you
because I aiu your granddaughter?
No, Therefore I intend, as soon as
opportunity offers, to run off with
Dick, since there is no other way. I
tell you, frankly, I ain sorry to lie
rude. Rut Ido not see why I should
-allow you to break my heart, and
Dirk's too!"
'Gatha stopped. Two red spots
burned on her cheeks, her clear grav
eyes blazed with anger and love.
Grannie recovered herself.
"So this is the respect I get, after
r twenty years < of toil for you. Go to
your room instantly. You shall never
marry Dick Reynolds. I)o you hear,
never!"
This did not not strike terror to the
-girl's heart, for she possessed much of
the obstinate will of her grandmother,
and, as Ik-tsy often said, "When her
-• Jnind was sot, it were sot, and 'twere
no use to ag'in her."| So when she was
ordered to her room she went qiaetly,
and already her pretty, etirly head wan
scheming for escape.
Agatha was not a bad or a willful
girl. She possessed good, common
sense. As she said, if there were Just
cause why she would never have dis
obeyed her grandmother. She had
met Dirk at one of the few parties
given in the neighlioring town. Their
acquaintance had ripened into love, and
Dick, after obtaining Agatha's consent
asked her grandmother for her in
manly words. He received n derided
and cold "No," and was told never to
I show himself at the farm again. Dick
did, however, manage to occasionally
see Agatha, whoojienly reMlled at such
i treatment. And both hail devised a
plan, which had cost weeks in concoc
ting, their interviews Ming held gen
erally In the manner dcscrilied alove.
I A week passed after their last Inter
view. 'Gatha was kept under strict
surveillance by her grandmother.
It wits twelve o'clock at night.
who slept with her grand
mother now, the better to be watched,
rose softly front her bed, very softly,
for fear of waking the old lady, who
y was a very light sleeper. A stone had
" been thrown at the window. With
• ! noiseless hand she let a white note,
1 taken from about her neck, down into
1 the garden beneath.
"What are you up for, 'Gatha," said
her grandmother suddenly, sitting up
in bed. 'Gatha stared.
v j "O, nothing," she said, pooling out
1 j a glass of water, and, after drinking
j it, going back to bed.
Dick, below in the garden, caught
' I the note, opened it and read:
T \ "Rah i.ino Dick—
"Grandma has made me sleep with
her. Our plan, of course, fulls through,
' but 1 have thought of another. To
■ morrow morning, at six o'clock, Mr.
!■ Tidle is coining for the large bag of
sewed rags Grannie has made for a rag
carpet, ltetsy will substitute me for
the rolls of rags, and lean be carried
out into the wagon, placed on my
back and driven to town, and Grannie
be none the xviscr.t'or 1 am t ?ito spend
all morning until noon shucking corn
in the barn. The only thing for you
to do is to let Mr. Tulle into the se
cret arid get his assistance. Don't fail,
or my heart will break.
"Yours in haste,
" 'Gatii
Dick pasted down to Mr. Tidle's
weaving shop, roused the old gentle
man, and unfolded his plans.
"Rather pesky business Dick, rather
pesky; and the old lady's power! ul sharp
but I'll do my best for you lad," he
j said, when Dick concluded. And so
they arranged for the next morning!
Dick was to la* at the turnstile with
a fast team, and 'Gatha to he un
bagged and given into his care at that
point.
♦ * * * 4 V
Six o'clock came. 'Gatha had been
up for two hours, and had breakfasted,
. and la-taken herself prcsnmablo to the
barn, bit was in reality in the upper
, hall, attired in a neat, gray traveling
1 ilrc-s, with a most bewitching lion not,
jon the side of which drooped tw"
• dainty pink roses.
I "There comes Mr. Tidle lletsy," said
. the old lady, from the kitrhen window.
, You go to let him in, and he sure he
,- takes the right weight of them ha s.
and don't break the balustrade bring
ing the hag down. I'll stand at the
. window and see it safe in tin* wagon.
. There's no telling where th< c men
, folk will bring up t0..."
"All right "um," said Ib-tsy," her
' heart in her mouth.for bar the did lady
j Would take it into her head t• • come up
j stairs. Coning (low *.', not an hour ago,
• she had pound's! and felt <\.-ry 1 all in
, the bag, and 'Gatha thanked fortune
, she xx ;is not in it.
R.-tsy went up stairs, and ht Mr,
Tidle in. The bag xv.is quickly emptied.
, The balls were thrown helter-skelter
into Betsy's room, and 'Gatha, suiil
i ing. trembling and Mushing, xv.is sent
I swiftly and deftly in to take their place.
r gray dress, pink roses, and all."
"La sakes!" exclaimed Betsy, "she
don't no way fill tin* thing up. Hold
the top, Mr. Tidle, while I gt a ball
or two to give it a lumpy look."
Three or four balls w ere placed atmiit
'Gatha.
j "That's rnuf," said lletsy, the bun-
net'll look like another," and soon
. 'Gatha, shaking xvith suppressed langh-
I ter, xvas lorn down stairs bv the f.iith
(l "ctsv and Mr. Tulle. On the way
, out to the wagon. Grandma's voice
from the raised kit< hen xxiudow called
out:
"Mr. Tidle!"
r "Well, lua'm?"
, "Wait a nvrnent. I want to tell
r you about the weaving."
"All right, 'um, "soon's I get thi's
jiesky bag inter the waggin."
, ' 'Gatha's heart Mat again, as she felt
f herself lifted from Mr. Tidle's shoul
der and laid safely on her back in the
r Mittom of the wagon. Mr. Tidle
, took his penknife and cut a small
, breathing place and then hurries!
back. His conversation lasted ten
( minutes, and then he was off at a
steady trot down the road, his pre-
I eious burden safe.
i "lletsy," said old Mrs. Forsythe, re
t turning to the kitchen, "sure'a you live
.. I heard rats jumping nhont overhead
I while you were up stsirs. Don't for
get to let the eat in to night."
"No, 'um," answered lletsy "Rats
is a great trouble, an' the rat 'll soon
' clear them out."
Late that night Betsy gathered up
the poor offending balls, whose rolling
alsiut as they were quickly thrown
into the room that morning, had caused
the old lady to think them rats, and
putting them into a sheet, placed them
into the hand of Mr. 'J'idle who was
. i waiting at the turnstile for them.
. | "I*esky business that, pesky business, '
I Miss Betsy," he said. "But, la
j sakes! didn't they get off nice. She (
- came out o' that Mg as spink an' span
t as she went in, and "would you Mlieve
it, the pink roses in her bunnet weren't j
. crushed at all. I guess they're mcr
• ried by this time. I wonder," softly '
"if we'd have suolia time, Miss Betsy,
if we jined hands? And what do you
think—l saw a bun net like Miss
I 'Hatha'* down to .lake ]'rail's, an' I'll
git it for you if you'll agree,"
Betsy agreed, got the "hunnet," and
was happy ever after.
Old Mrs. Forsyth never could find
out how 'Hatha got away. Intiinesho
partly forgave lor, but for years slio
would not design to notice lu-r.
'Hatha was very happy, and never had,
'cause to rue the day she substituted
herself for a bag of rags.
CKII'I'INHS FOB THF. CIHIOFH.
A scientific writer asserts the long
current belief that the concentric rings
of a tree arc a record of its age, each
ring representing a year's grow th, is a
mistakt A series ol experiments have
shown its falsity.
In the Fniti-d States there arc only
three venomous snakes, the rattle, the
copper-head and the moccasin. The
Fast Indies are full of venomous
snakes, and in British India nearly
twenty thousand persons are killed
every year by snake bites.
The Parthenon Athens' famous tem
ple is so built that there is not a rec
tangular fewii in the whole building.
The sides and the front curve very
slightly, the columns do not stand
quite upright, and all the horizontals
curve upward slightly.
An opera house on wheels Is the
latest ilramat ic no\ city, and a company
with headquarters at Kansas Fity has
been organized to build and manage it.
II is to consist of eight railway < rs,
which can be expand"! by ingenious
iiuvhr.iiisin into a• aj-a- ions structure,
with y.udit-'riuin and stage complete,
and is designed for the bem-tit of coni
lllllllit ie.s which do not pos- 1 ss fa<-Uit i*s
for the prisltetion of plays. It will
run c. iin) place to place on the railroads
. and carry a portable t r.e k. upon w hi' h
it can be sw itched off and Iran iforiued
into a th'ntre.
Slrensrth nntl llealtk
It is quae a common idea that health
keeps pa'-o with strength. I know in
telligent per ns whon i''t- think that
vi.u may determine the comparativi
health of a c- mpany of rmn b\ ne iv
tiring the r arm that he whose arm
measures twelve inches is twice as
healthy as he wle • arms ni'-a . but
six. This strange and thought !• • mis
apprehension ii " given rise to nearly
all the mi-i ik) s thus far ma le in the
physical-culture tie icment. I have a
friend xvho ran lift I' M pounds, and vet
;s an habitual sufferer from torpid
liver, rhi-iimatism. and low spirits.
There are many similar ■ a-i-s. The
cartrni n of our .ties, who are our
strongest men. are far from tin health
iest class, as physicians will ti-stify. On
the contrary 1 have many fro-nds who
would stagger under Ik*) jnunds that
are in capital trim. But I mss! not
elaborate a matter so familiar with
physicians ami other observing peip!e.
No re-t of health w. old prove more
faulty than a tape-line <>r a lift at the
scaie-lieam.
Hiippos)* t wo brothers—bank clerks--
in bad health. They nre rnetisurol
round the arm. Ea< h marks exactly
ten inch'-s. They try the scale-heatn.
The bar rises at exa>tly Ikkt jsiunils
with each. Both seek health, .lohn
g'M-s to the gymnasium, I''Fs heavy
duui! -bells and kegs )>f nails until he
can put up IJ"> ]Mittads, and lift
and his arm rea'-hes fiftcn inch)-*.
Thomas goes to the mountains, tishes
hunts, *|tends delightful hours with the
young ladies ami plays cricket.
l*|Min measuring his arm we find it
scarcely larger than w hen he left town,
while he can't put up sixty pounds nor
lift -V. But who doubts Thoinas w ill
return to the counter the lietter man
of thetwo? John should he the better
man, if strength is the principal or
intst essential condition of health.—
Health.
Togive an iik-t of the ilairy industry
in France, M. liorve Mangon recently
stated at an agri. ultural gathering that
the milk produced in the country would
if collected, form a stream .'1 feet 4
inches in width and 1 fieit 1 inch in
depth, flowing night anil day all the
year with a mean velocity of 3 feet 4
inches per second. Young animals
drink a part of this enormous volume
of milk, man takes a good part of it, i
ami the rest is transformed into cheese
ami butter.
"Have you seen the new style of
sleeping cars?" inquired a drummer of
the conductor. "No, I think not," he
replied; "what are they like?" "Well, ,
they differ from any I have yet seen, 1
and I don't they will lw> very popular."
"What are they called ?" "I'rohibi- |
tion cars." "That's a somew hat singu
lar name," thoughtfully mused the
ticket-taker. "Why are they so-called?"
"Because," said the cute commercial
traveler they won't have any porter i
aboard." I
LAIHK.V IIKPA K I MKM *.
I'nulilon Main.
Dancing dresses are short all aroun<l.
The rage for yellow has not yet run
Its course.
High colors arc much in vogue for
evening wear.
The favorite corsage flower is the
small yellow aster.
White tulle is used in the place of an
invisible hair net to keep the front
hair in good shape.
Cashmere ami merino hose in the
popular electric blue ami burning red
colors are mm h worn.
Home New York ladies wear violets
for corsage bouquets all the year
round, regardless of the cost.
Colored nuns' cloths and fine ea h
nieres are used now for evening dresses
and they are most charming.
Fine bla< k cashmere costumes are
trimmed with terra cotta or ruby red
satin or velvet, covered with hl;c k
, lace.
Many Fanchon and capote bonnets
arc trimmed with ruches of lace and
tiny flowers or loops of ribbon inside
the brim.
'•ln re is a fancy at present for lion .-
dresses composed of a solid-colored
jacket and a bright plaid or novelty
fabric skirt.
To mingle two kinds of lace on one
cost nine, bonnet, or piece of tuck
lingerie is good form and correct fade
| it present.
The latest caprice is to fasten lipth"
front of flannel ami cloth suits wjtli
straps of leather J a -iiig through
buckles <if tbe same.
Plain velvet costume* of dark, .eU
colors are richly trimmed with l<r;
the furs most in favor for these
suits are otter, I" aver, liare ami sal.
The IMIIH;I ! ami muff tha' a mpany
tin-ill arc also finished iff with tie
same kind of fur used as the trimtiui •
of the dress.
A flaring poke, and rt of "m<>b"
'Towmsl tap bourn f are among the
headdrc-ses of the se.ison for girls l
twecn the ages of two and tell; ami the
It'sl Itidingh'Hsl < loak of red flannel,
br.iiihsl with black, and made with a
-aj.e. or gathered at the in )., and J.ti
isfusi with gatlertsl slceMs ami
vadi, n ■ ■ -inpaiiies them.
A sup.-rh ening dr--s worn at a
reccp! ii m N. w Y- k was of ).r
pink t ■ •in-iTi -Ik in.id- M.th a it
skirt with two narr-'W 1: fc jdait.:
around the edc • f tie --k.rt. ami a
jd.llll .ler- y basque of thi -.lk. I ii'-
overskirt was of pink Chinaerajw, tin
graceful dr.ijicn lin : held i y small
lords of bright plillliagc.
I'rctty hoiie dr-ss. for young girls
are made of cle t ric blue < .ohim n-.w it h
short draped apron of burning red. ar..l
rod collar and cuffs, over which are
wi>rn others of hemstitched white
muslin, which leaves only the rod edge
visible. The blue basque is cut up on
♦he (slge, and forms what is known a
the polka basque.
In London felt hats are generally
adopted. Home are small, trimmed
with gossamer, caught together with a
bird's plumage, sometimes tying un
derneath the chin; or else large,turned
up one side, with an ostrich feather
curling gracefully over the brim at the
back and showing at one side. Folded
bands of plush or velvet, fastened with
u handsome buckle, trim the hat on tin
other side. L:eli< s who cannot afford
many hats wear black felt, ami alter
the color of the folded band of plush or
velvet to match that of tlie dress to be
worn.
Aprons mmle of brown linen of the
proper width so that the salvage neisls
no hemming at the sides may be made
very pretty by • ingiag out the bottom
to the depth of two in hes; overcast the
edge where the ravelling ceases, then
about two inches above that draw out
threads for an inch and ahalf.and then
run a blue or sonrlet rihlton through
tie throadr that are left, making blocks
of ribbon and thread alternately.
Alove and below this a row of feather
stitching is added, and a row on the !
band and sides also; the pocket trimmed
to match is put on the right side.
WITM mf Ike llrrianln*.
The lledouin, like the Persian, says
an English magazine, dyes his lteanl
n-d, an operation which is performed
by the wives in turn, ami one which
they consider a great honor to engage
in. Bedouins, in speaking of aw ife
who is not on good terms with her
husband, say, "She cannot dve his
beard." It must not lie supposed from
the above that the women are too deli
cate to be of any service. On the con
trary, In war they always fight by the
sides of their husbands, and headlong
charges are repeatedly led |y some
courageous maiden of high blood, who,
mounted on n pure Nejd steed, dashes
among the enemy, singing songs in- 11
suiting them for their cowardice and I,
encouraging her own followers. The j
Bedouin Amazons have alwnys leen
noted fur their courage, and ore often ' i
mentioned in history. It is generally
admitted that ban it not ls-en for the
bravery of the young and beautiful
Ayesha, Moliammed would have lost
the battle of the Camel. Her people
j were already retreating before the
: enemy, when hlic halted them by shout
ing, "Scum of the desert sand, fleeing
like chickens from falcons; rein your
horses, If'tis but to see a women de
fend Islam," and, rushing on the
enemy, so encouraged the deserter!'
that they followed her and won tin
day.
A f'rrtirlt FrmliJnr I'kilnnhrnplir.
Much Interest is expressed in Paris
with regard to the bestowal of the
< ro-s of the Legion of Honor upon
Mine. I less, who has acquired stupen
dous wealth as vendor of the hair
wa Ii which bears her name, Fan de
IL-ss. By the sale of the wash she has
become one of the greatest capitalists
of the city, and tln* manner in which
she disp-. c.s of the wealth thus in
quired forms the subject of universal
admiration. When asked by tie- muni
cipality "for a little as-u-itaiice" for the
po<-r, she sends \ ast -am*, even to tin
amount of one ltumlrisl thou*anc
team-*. she pro\id<sl for an immense
number of 'arving w oil. mi n and tie ir
wivi tdut ng tle-M. ge, niel to-.k upon
le-r.-i If the payment of all in-<' --am s
for the wounded brought in from the
fortifications. In rec-ignition of thesi
h'-rvii-es the muni-ipahty of Paris had
a -I medal struck off in le r honor,
and tin-, with le-r noiiiinati-i as officer
of the A' ademy and otter tet incliialH,
replies hcie atii a gl.'li- c:ic up- M the
sane- r. , ty wo-slen tal .e up- n whhh
she prepar<s| tie-herb, when aUait b
make the drst trial ol the Hair wash.
Ihe tab' tan -> m tie- middle of thf
loom now lied with the most costly
artistic furniture, ami -m rounded with
the flneat collection of pictures by th£
"I'l masters at; resentxisting in Paris
M.-..C. Hen possesses the must cms
"p. nary instinct of arti-fe- 1 -auty
and has formed the m • t wondrou--
gallery of p*tnr- i and bmnz* i d'art
ever In-held, s-i gr- it wa- the natural
ami . T ON • f M lf-:inpr"\ i-nn-nt c\ .need
by lor, that aith- ..-.'i I j a-t youtl
when thin gr- a* y • I fortune j.-ll ujmr
her. arid die had n<-\rr h-arm-d nuil<
read arid write, sic- innu d-.ati ly set
al it a'- piiring In ■' r:- *.■ -ri in litera
ture .md art, an-l . n w regard'd as a
high authority in 1- th. And while
this she ind .ig- - her t.l-te for the
l-ca itiful, rlie i - gh f- not the chari
table dm ii- II pi >d ij-'ii ln-r I y lur
|>o-ition, and d.--tribute- large sain
da .y t-i the ill -r\ mg ]•. r.
( urcil of lntvßi|w-ranre.
Min arc cured of intenij"-ranre at
an institution in N< w York, kn >n as
the < hristian lloinc for Intemperate
Men, by a pc uliar inethoil. It seems
that cures are effected by treating
drunkenness as a sin. no intcmp< rate
man U-ing received unhss he expresses
a desire to ltecomc a Christian. Nonr
is rccivisl for b-ss than four weeks,
and some stay as long as three months
No liquor is ever allowed for "tajx-r
--ing-ofT," a* it is called, and yet, con
trary to the generally-received opinion,
no cases of delcriuin tremens, arising
frmn a sudden deprivation of the
accustoimsl stimulant, are rejMirtrsl.
Warm milk w ith a little salt HI it.
heef tut. and, in exceptionally bad
(ases. bromide of pot.iv Him. arc ad
minister"!. Victims of the opium
habit have Itcr-n also cured, sotne <,f
whom had taken as much as 'JOO grains
]>cr day. Tobacco is excluded as
rigorously as liquor. The patients
have the use of a library and reading
room, are expected to attend upon the
large numlter of religious excrcuwt
which take place daily, and to sign a
promise pledging themselves upon
their honor not to use xvhile in tlx
house, or have in their jxissewsion
liquor, opium or tolwjcro. Amuse
mcnts are not encouraged; inmate*
arc oxjiectcd to rcail, w rite, imslitatr
and pray. There is no physician, the
i dea leing that if a man desires to be
saved he can l>e. There is a good deal
■in this Wlief, as nil reformed men
! know. The institution has had '.fif
inmates in five years, of which numhei
it claims to have reclaimed sixty ICI
cent.
Italning Cats and Dmrs.
Among the many queer sayings
which one often hears none is more
peculiar than "It's raining rats and
dogs." Some say that the expression
came from the French word raUutoupe
a waterfall; but there is a more pleating
explanation of how the phrase came
into use. In some parts of England
the blossoms of the willow tree arc
called "cats and dogs." These blos
soms increase in sizo very quickly
after a few warm showers in April,
and it was Iwlieved once that the rain
brought them, llenoe the saying, "It's
raining eats and dogs."
The capitalists of the world have
sunk |2U2,000,000 In ocean cables.
Dear llandt.
Ilia touchi* of tier hand* are like the fell
j Of velvet IWJ'JW flukon; like tliii touch of
down
Tlie peach just brushes 'gainst tho garden
wall;
The flossy fondling* of tin- thitl wip
''u((ht in the crinkle of o loaf of brown
| The blighting front lie* turned from green
to crUp.
, Koft e* the fulling dnk nt flight,
j I lie toucher nt Iter hand*, find tlie delight—
'l lie toi.i'lnn of her hand!
I lie touches of her linnd* ere like the dew
I hut full* MI MoftJy down no one e'er knew
I he touch thereon Hftve lover* like to one
Atray in lights where ranged Kndymion.
Oh, rarely *oft, the touches of her Hand*,
An drowny zephyrs in enchanted land*;
Or pulse of <J)ing clay; or fair) sighs;
Or in between the midnight and the dawn,
W iien long unrest nnd tear* and fear* are
gone—
Bleep, srnooUiing down the lid* of wesry
t) !•■*.
—lt'. Itilry.
f'l M.LM I* AItA4 *lt A I*ll S.
Jfmkrnen Hutr.-hi rs.
Hanging (in- The chandelier.
Mari ailvi rti-i-i, then realizes.
'I he In-t jire- a press of business,
"*'urn down," said the voung man,
stroking hi* uj>j>er liji.
The use of iron cannot increase the
running quuliti-s of a dog, hut tin < an.
Men who have money to loan take
th<* greatest jmssihlc inter. ,t in their
ho in.---,
A Michigan horo ate ten jmunds of
star.h without feeling \.ry much
s' in k up.
I* rei khst are not so hail. It is said
that one girt does not object to wnlna
them on another giri'- fa- e.
A marine divider: "Vest," said the
captain of the ocean st. am*hip, "wo
had a very expensive trip this time.
Yer;> litt!< e. t .j,}. i, p i -tigers ato
frightfully."'
Women are such'juei r cri .' ire- that
no man eati under land them. Indeed,
it has t"* !i generally comedi-d that the
only way to liml a woman .. t 1- to call
w hen she i* not in.
The papers very kindly tell the poor
man how make an r.!, ng .soup
out of ,i small ) . <• of meat. If they
Would only tell him how to get tlllj
ni'.it hn wife would l. much more
obliged.
A Vermont law yer has j■ rint c-<I a book
to prove that the < *rth is sn/*.0*
years old. and th t there is no r* a-in
why ]■■ • pie shouldn't live a thou-and
y. irs. l'r .l ly they <!■ n't ist out
of shei r lazinc**.
"Julia, my little eheruh. when d<i-s
your *.-ter liiniua return Julia "1
don't know." "Didn't she say anthing
la-fill* he went away Julia "She
said, if v oil came t i s.-e her, that she'd
gone tilld<■ 'Uisilay.
Some ot the Asiatics are now conk
ing th- ir meals on American stoves.
This i* preferrahle to the old style of
M-rving up Americans on Asiatic
stoves.
A matter of mulplication : Teacher
—"Why, how stupid you are. to lie
sure! Can't multiply eight-eight by
twenty-five? I'll wager that Charh-s
can doit in less than no time." l'upil -
"1 shouldn't I*- surprised. They ray
that fools multiply very rapidly nowa
days."
The reason that an express train
alwas proceeds a milk train i* not be
cause it* spied is greater. It is he
cause the cow-catcher on the engine is
used to catch the rows in time to Ins
milked In-fore dark. After thev aro
caught they are run on the side track,
the cows, we understand, doing the
switching themselves.
A medical journal says that when a
man wants to sneeze and cannot, if ho
goes into the sunlight he w ill find tho
exiM-t equal to that of snuff. The in
formation must prove a great comfort
to a man w hen an elusive sneeze seizes
his nasal organ al<out 9 o'clock I'. M
lie ran make a trip to some country
where the sun is shining, or defer tho
sneeze until next morning.
THAT TniSTMN DAMS.
In childhood dj-s. ere yet hc knew
The word* ot gifts, *hs'd freely take
The presents—sweetmeat*, toy* and such—
lie offered for her friendship'* sake.
In Inter years, when older grown,
Qmte different things *he took like this :
Hi* arm at parties—hat and stick
When'er lie called,—|rhap* a kits.
In tnrn, she took his pnrse. hi* time.
Hi* love, tin* thievish dame,
Not then, it seem*, as* she content :
For last of all she took—hi* name.
The nttmlier of higher arithmetics
required in the public schools of tho
I'nited States is I,7.M),ooo;arithmetics,
lower, 3.750,000, algc* ras. 500,000;
list ronotnies, 750,000; book-keeping,
500,000; copy-books, 15,00*1.000; com
position-looks, 1,000,000; etymologies,
500.0U0; geographies, 5,000,000; gram
mars. 2,000,000; historic*, 1.000.000;
natural philosophies, 5,0**0.000; read
ers, 5.000,0**0; sjvellers and definers,
2,500,000. The annual coat of school
luniks to the users is estimated a!
$5,000,000.