Little Tim.
i.
Over the paling peeped little Tim,
With a roguish look in hi* bright brown eye*;
Ho called to tho children to come hi him
And help him to catch the bultcrfliiw.
Browned and burned by tho summer'* nun,
Undor a bat of piaitod etraw,
Hopeful, healthy and full of fun,
Was tho cheerful face I #a".
11.
I heard tho hum of tho tusioy-bce,
Tile chirp of graeshopiieni. shrill and clear,
Tho robin* singing amid tho trees,
The clattering scythes in the meadow* near,
Tho rustling leaven of tho applo-boughs,
Tho murmuring sound of the hillside stream,
Tho tinkling bells on tho distant cows,
Whilo I nat in a sweet day-dream.
HI.
I fashioned a future for my lioy,
As only a hopeful mother can;
My soul seemed filled with a sense of Joy:
I saw him grow to a goodly man,
Tho prop and stay of my feeble frame,
Tho pride and love of my later 'lays;
110 mounted tho splendid heights of fame-
Men uttered bis honest praise.
IT.
To-day, while the winter wind blow shrill
Through tho moaning pines in tho valo below,
Wo bore him sadly over tho hill,
And laid him undor tho drifting snow;
Under the willows lono and baro,
Under tho dark clouds cold and gray,
Under the suowtlakos white and fair,
We buriod our hopes to-day.
v.
I dream again, while to-night I stand
By my window and gaze at tho howling storm;
Of my little boy in tho hotter landi
And I seem to see his shining form
Through a rift in the clouds while I watch and
wait
For the joyous summons to go to him.
Yes I peeping over the golden gate,
1 shall meet my littlo Tim I
—Euyene J, I/all, in Our Continent.
Restored to Reason.
It was September, an J thro ugh the
Jovely Kentish roads, from Wester ham
far away to the seashore, tramped par
ties of hop-pickers.
Among these was a jtartv of three, a
man and woman, aud a girl of about
eighteen. Though the moou had been
up two hours they yet trudged on,
weary-footed; heedless, except the
girl, of the beauties around them ; she,
occasionally lifting her head, seemed
to drink in tho sweet scents floating in
the air.
Halting, and raising her arms above
her head as for relief from tho fatigue
oppressing her, she said : " It's been a
long tramp to-day ; aren't wo soon go
ing to rest ?"
" Oh, you're flndin' it out, are yer V
growled her male companion, abort
and clumsy built, with an expression
resembling that of a bulldog. " No,
we shan't stop for the next two hours."
"It's your own fault, you know," re
marked the woman; "nobody asked
yoa to come ; you wasn't wanted."
"Maybe,' replied the girl quietly;
'•but I've got to make my living, and I
thought this way would be as good as
any to turn an honest penny."
" Honest 1" growled tho man scorn
fully.
" Yoa going 'op-pickin I" put in the
woman—" yoa as might ride in your
carriage V
" You sre an idiot," exclaimed tho
nan. " A precious mistake wo made
when we thought you'd bo a fortin' to
us."
"Yes, you did," was the answer;
then, as they reached the top of the hill
they had been toilsomely ascending,
the girl, extending her arms, uttered a
cry.
" What's the matter with you now ?
Are yer mad V
" it's—it's the sea I" the gasped. "It
most be. How beautiful I"
Her figure, full, and roundly molded,
was ilightly inclined; her red lipe were
parted; her large, dark, l>oaatifal eyes
were dilated with an expression of rev
erential wonder as they gazed on the vast
expanse of waters flashing beneath the
moonbeams.
"Shall we go near it? Shall weT'
she asked.
"Not by five miles. Come along, I
thought you was tired."
The alienee which again fell on the
tramps was next broken by the tieat of
horse's hoofs coming rapidly along a
aide road. B< fore they were aware the
rider had dashed ronnd the oorner and
waa npou them. The tramps sprang to
the hedge, bnt before the girl oould
follow their example the horse hq}
struck her, and she staggered and
nearly fell.
"Can't yon people keep to the right
gfide of the toed instead of straggling
•U over it?" he had begun, when he
beheld the lovely faoe of the girl. In
an instant he had sprung down to her
side.
I am very sorry. May I help yon?"
he exclaimed, in concern.
"It is nothing; lam not hurt. No,
not at all," she answered. •' I ought
to have got out of the way?"
" The fanlt was mine, bnt I didn't
think any one would be in the lane at
this hour." .
"On'y tramps," snarled the man; "and
a course it's notbin' for a gentleman
such as'you to smash a score or so on
'em. If you'd killed my gal, It 'ad
on'j be one leu for the parish to sup
port."
The gentleman glanced from one to
the other, bat his looks dwelt longest
on Janet. Could this girl be a tramp ?
Novor had ho seen a more graceful
figure nor more charming features.
"All I can say is that I am sorry," he
remarked, " and would gladly make
compensation. There!" and ho tossed
a conple of half-crowns to the man,
" that will satisfy you, I suppose."
Then ho turned to Janet, and continued
in a lower, different tone: "You are
very generous; far moro than I de
serve. I thank you. If I had hurt you
I'shonld never forgive mysolf."
And ho rode away. Janot glanced
after him. Hho was conscious of an
agreeable foeling. Then sho turned,
| attracted by the woman who was
•[caking.
" What au idiot yon aro, Bill 1 You
might have made all this blessed tramp
|go for nuthin' 1 Are you blind ? Didn't
see it was the son of Mr.
Bridgnorth, whose hops wo want to
pick ? "
"Was it? Whow I Never mind, old
woman ; he ain't likely to say anything
about it, and I'm five boLs to tho
good."
Mr. Bill Morris was right. Not only,
had it not been for Janet, would Ilenry
Bridgnorth have quite forgotten the in
cident, but the harvest of hops was
plentiful that year, and pickers wore in
demand.
The Morrises were instantly engaged,
and soon Janet found herself at work
in pulling up tho long poles and gather
ing the hops.
At first it was not easv, and hurtful
to tho fingers, but Janet was not of a
nature to give half services in anything,
and she worked with a will. Besides,
she was happy.
More than once she had thought of
young Mr. Bridgnorth, and wondered
if he ever visited the hop grounds, but
that was all. Not so with Barry Bridg
north himself. Janet had never l>een
out of his mind since he had seen her.
He told himself again and again
that he never had beheld so lovely a 1
creature.
" If I had aeon her in a picture at the
Burlington," be roflocted, " tho proud
features, tho ragged clothes worn with
such dignified grace, I should havo ad
mired it, but laughed at tho artiat de
signing it ■ A Tramp.' Hurely anch as
she must have been the l>cggar maid
who won the heart of King Cophetua."
Harry Bridgnorth, after a rather long
search, came suddenly upon Janet.
She was just finishing clearing a hop
pole, and was alone. If he thought her
handsome before, he fonnd her more
s< now, with the rod sunlight about her
and the rich masses of black hair gath
ered neatly together low down at the
l>ack of her shapely throat.
As he stood admiring hor, Janet pres
ently looked up and saw him. A smile
of recognition, free from embarrassment,
came to her lips. Hhe was glad to see
him again.
" Still at workhe remarked, ad
vancing. " Hurely there is no need,
when the rest have ceased ?"
"They work quicker than I can," re
plied Janet. "As yet lam new to hop
picking, but I try to do my best."
" Well, you havo done enough for the
present I want you to tell mo how
yon are. I might havo hurt you very
much."
" Yon might," she smiled frankly,
without constraint meeting his earnest
glanoe; " but you did not. I told yon
I was not hurt yesterday."
" Yos ; else I don't think I should
havo slept" he rejoined. " I certainly
should never have forgiven myself."
11 Why not ? It was not your fault
Perhaps you'were riding too fast, but
yon did not expect any one to be in the
lane, Mr. Bridgnorth."
" Assuredly not you. But you know
my name P'
"My mother knew you. Hhe has
been hero before."
" Your mother I Then thoy were
your parents 7*
'• Yea," she smiled again ; •• why
shoald they not be V
" Because you are so different," ex
claimed Harry Bridgnorth. "I can
scarcely now credit it. You are so
very unlike them,"
"Perhapalmay change when I am
as old as they and have seen as mneh
trouble," she remarked, with a light
laugh.
" Youf* he ejaculated. "You never
oould grow like them. Do jou know
how beautiful you are-?"
Hhe looked at him with • half sad,
half sooroful expression.
"Oh, yes," she answered; "I have
been told it often enough—so often that
lam tiok of it. I know perfectly the
value of that kind of flattery. Now, Mr.
Bridgnorth, I must go, pleaee; mother's
waiting for me."
"One instant. Will you tell me your
name?"
" Janet Herria." *
" Then, Jvnet, believe me, for I am
sure I understand your meaning; my
words are not of the nature of thoae
flatteries to whloh you refer. You will
not shun me; ws may least have a
chat together when we meat? I think I
might have killed /on. Have I not a
right to rejoico that you lire ? And I do
rejoioo indeed 1"
This time the color rose to the girl's
cheek, her long lashes fell; his tones
were so soft and earnest, that her's bo
came loss llrm in conseqnenco.
" Yon are very good. Indeed I
would not shun you; but roally I must
go now."
" Good-bye, then, Janet." And after
a glance round to make sure that no
ono was near, ho extended his hand.
" Good-bye, sir," replied Janet, quiet
ly, and not hooding his outstrotchod
hand, she moved away.
Harry Bridgnorth watched until in
tervening hop-poles hid her; then went
off thoughtfully in the opposite direc
tion.
" Was King Oophetns an idiot or a
wise man?" ho ponderod. " Surely the
beggar maid was not so handsomo nor
so queenly as Janet MorriH? I must sec
her again." And ho did, daily.
Janet Morris had found that instead
of the sea being five miles off, it was
not two, and when work was over in
the sho would hurry to the
shore. Ilarry Bridgnorth had discov
ered this, and not an evening passed
that he did not meet her.
At first she had treated him dis
tantly, but conscious of hor power of
self-protection, finally had yielded to
his coming; indeod, soon began to look
forward to their meetings as eagerly as
lie. It was very pleasant, seated with
him on the sea nhoro, listening to the
break of the waves, or to his voice tell
ing of so many things, or won into
confidence by his pleasant manner, she
herself relating episodes in her own
wretched life, ignorant that her heart,
which never jot had known love, was
expanding now beneath its influence;
ami she, who had drawn back proudly,
mistrustful of all who were her supe
riors, was confiding now.
Ono day Janet becamo aware of a
commotion among the gatherers.
" What is it? Is anything the mat
ter?' she asked of one standing by her,
•' Don't yon know? Ah, I forgot you
haven't been hero afore. It's only the
mad ladr."
"The mad lady!" ejaculated Janet.
" Well, what is there wonderful in
that? Ain't yon never seen a ma<l jwr
son, eh T'
It was Bill Morris who spoke. He
had come quickly to where she stood.
"Tell yor what, though, you'd hotter
keep hack, or them big eye* of yourn,
staring like that, will hirritate the
poor lady. They say as how if you
state at 'em it upsets em like scarlit do
do a mad bull."
Janet shrank behind the poles, not
taking the tronhle to doubt Bill Morris'
%a*ertion. Her thoughts, indeed, were
far otherwfse occupied, for just then
advancing toward them came the mad
lady, a tall, handsome woman, attired
in deep mourning, that en
hanced the delicate fairness of
her complexion. Her year* could not
have been much above forty, yet her
hair was white as snow, with a tinge of
sunlight upon it. Her expression was
mournful; but it was only when you
caught the vscant look of tho clear,
gray eyes that you perceived reasou was
wanting.
Who was she? Gould sbo be Harry
Brignorth's mother ? for it was upon
his arm alio leaned, and the likeness
between them was great. Hlowlr she
approached, turning her gentlo gaze on
every side, and ever and again murmur
ing with a sad motion of the head,
"Not yet; not come yet I Where
where? Not here I"
Then she passed on, and went alowly
out of sight.
" Who is she?" asked Janet. " Is she
Mr. Henry Brignorth's mother ?"
"No; his aunt. Homcthing long ago
sent her crazy, and she alius comes once
liko that when the 'ops is being gath
erod. I don't mind ; she's 'armless."
That evening Janet Morris barned the
truth from Harry Bridgnorth.
Years ago his aunt, Mrs. Auckland, a
young wife and mother, had her child
stolen while staying with her brother,
Mr. Bridgnorth. The nurse had taken
it out as usual, and all that she remem
bered was that she had sat down under
a treo while the ohild played about.
Overcome by the heat, she fell asleep,
"It was a lovely little thing," con
cluded Harry Bridgnorth. " The only
conclusion we could arrive at was that
it had been stolen by gypsies. My
poor aunt would have it that it was the
hop pickers, for it was the hoppieking
season, and her brain gave way beneath
her sorrow. When the hop-gathering
time has arrived, she walks through the
grounds that she shall find her ohUd. H
" Poor lady," murmured Janet. "It
must be hard indeed to loss one vou
lovs."
. Harry Bridgnorth looked hesitatingly
down at bar, as, seated on a portioo of
rook, she gaaed seaward. Then, bend
ing nearer, he said, " And you have
never loved, Janet?"
She did not take the question in the
meaning he intended.
shaking her head, she replied, sadly,
" Never I who had I to lovs V"
He bent over her, his hand on hers.
" But, Janet, you are capable of lore!
—surely, yes?"
Hho looked quiokly up at him, waves
of color dyeing her cheek, and strove
to free her hand.
" Yon must hear me—l mnst spoakl"
proceeded Ilarry Bridgnorth, excit
edly, passionately. "Janet, I love you!"
He strove to place his arm around
hor waist; but, preventing him, Janet
Morris rose. Inwardly she was agita
ted, but hor voice, hor manner, wero
calm and self possessed.
" Hush, Mr. Bridgnorth," sho said ;
" you must not talk so to me."
"And why not, Janet ?" ho pleaded.
" Because the love I used, you must
not give; and the love you may, I
would not accept."
"The love I give yon is honorable
and true!" he cried; but she checked
him.
"Hush!" she repeated; '"we will part
now. You do not consider what you
say. When we meet again you will have
had time to reflect. '
" But not to change," be exclaimed,
as she moved away.
Janet determined to return to London
on the morrow, but before leaving she
would take a last long look at the sea ;
and in the morning she stole away from
the hop-grounds into the lane leading
to the shore.
She had no fear of meeting any one
at that hour.
On reaching tbo sands she gazed
breathless with admiration. Hhe had
never seen tho sea, which was tumbling
rapidly in, with tho sunshine dancing
on the waves as now. How beautiful it
was.
As she stood a piercing scream broke
the stillness; turning, sho beheld on
tho rocks of a headland close by, the
mad lady. Tho waves were stealing up
around the base, and had surprised
her.
The water as yet was shallow, and
Janet dashed through the waves and
climbed to Mrs. Auckland's side.
"Do not fear; there is no danger,"
sho exclaimed, soothingly. " Come
with me, we can pass easily through."
But the madwoman, her wild look
riveted on the rising water, refused to
stir. Fear was on her ; she had even
■'eased to scream. All tho heed she
[>aid to Janet was to grasp her tightly
with one hand, and point with the
other to the rapidly rising sea.
" Look, look I" sho screamed ; "don't
leave mo ! They are coming, coming !
It's death I Ob, Mabel, Mabel!"
la vain Jantt implored, untreated,
threatened ; the madwoman would not
stir. The girl saw that tho sea was
swirling round the rocks; soon it would
t>o impossible to wado through it, yet
sho could not leave the poor mad
woman, and called loudly for help.
The sound of her cries startled hor
companion ; she turned, ga/ >d wildly
at Janet, then, with a shrill scream end
ing in hysterical laughter, fell in
sensible on the girl's bosom. Janet
perceived that her case was now dea
perate. She hail no strength to drag
Mrs. Auckland through the waves; she
could hardly support her. Already the
water broko upon their feet.
Her brain reeled. Ah, tis a terrible
thing to die thus. Yet tho girl's beau
tiful face was firmly set. Hho waited
death rather than leave the madwoman.
Again and again Janet raised her
voice. Hark! Was that a shout? Yes;
yes; and there was the sound of oars.
A moment later a boat shot around the
headland.
Their perilous position had been seen
by Harry Bridgnorth from the heights,
and he was one of the rowers.
"Courage, o-nrage, Jatet Morris!"
he called, and seeing him she feared no
longer. Silently she waited, and lent
her aid to assist tho madwoman into
the boat; then, her hand in her lover's,
followed. But after that her strength
failed, and she fainted.
It was Mrs. Aaokland who first re
oovered. Bitting up, gasing wildly
around, ahe exclaimed:
"Where is she? Where—where lias
she gone ? Not lost sgsin 7"
"Who, deer sunt?" questioned her
nephew.
"Mabel—my child! I tell you I saw
her just now ! She tried to save me!
Ah!" as, with a joyous cry, ahe beheld
Janet; "she i< her—my darling
found 1" And, flinging her arms about
the girl, she kissed her rapturously.
" Aunt, do you know what you aay t"
exclaimed her nephew.
" Yes, yes t Look, Harry! Oh, yesl
lam not mad now! Look 1" Eagerly
she tore from her nook a locket con
taining a miniature of her husband.
" Harry, that ia her father; do you
think I, her mother, oould be deoeived?"
" The likeness is wonderful. Oh, if
it were so I But, aunt, this girl's pa
rents live 1
"You mean the wretches who stole
her from m%~ cried Mrs. Auckland
fiercely, clasping Janet to her. " Have
them arrested, for I tell yon this is my
child—my darling I"
Aa Harry Bridgnorth reflected, and
contrasted Janet with Janet's parents, a
wild hope possessed him that the shook
ol the striking likeness, aided by ma
ternal affection, had restored his aunt's
reason. He determined utlug his
father's authority as magistrals to se
cure UUI Morris directly Mrs. Auckland
and the amazed, bewildered Janet had
been oonveyed to tho house.
But Bill Morris himself bad witnessed
that scene in the boat, and had do
camped ; thus only his wife was secured,
and frightened by ber arrest, infuriated
by her husband's desertion, the woman
confessed all.
Htruck by tho child's beauty, they
enticed it away, suoh a child being at
that time needed by a woman in Lon
don. On the Morrises', return there,
however, they found the woman in the
hands of the police;, so had to keep the
child, making a tolerable market out of
her beauty, which ever obtained alms
from the charitable*
" Till she grew up," concluded Mrs.
Morris, indignantly. "Then she'd only
do what she liked, and a hand we 'ad
with her."
" Yon see I was not wrong," exclaimed
Mrs Auckland. "Mabel, dearest, you
bear yon are mine—my child 1"
" Mother I" murmured the girl, timid
ly, yielding to her embrace.
That evening Harry Bridgnorth
whispered to Mabel : " Dear cousin, do
you remember that I said my love oould
nover change? What do you reply
now ?"
" That I am not yet fitted to be your
wife. I have so much to learn."
" And when learned ?"
" Need you ask ?" she murmured, with
a blush.
SCIENTIFIC SOUPS.
Lizards and crocodiles have two lungs,
usually somewhat divided, and extend
ing through the whole trunk. By their
inflation the chameleon can give itself a
plump appearance.
The Paris meteorologists are sending
up balloons equipped with thermome
ters an<l other apparatus to make obser
vations concerning the regions and cur
rents of the upper air.
It is recommended that sickly potted
plants le drenched with water heated
to 115 degrees ;it has the effect of re
moving from the roots poisonous acid
secretions which may have accumulated
there.
Mechanically speaking, a horsa power
is the equivalent of raising 33,000
]>ouiidft one foot high in one minute of
time; but the expression horse power
is to be considered merely as a conven
tional firm. The actual work of a
horse is the equivalent of raising 25 000
pounds one foot high in one minute for
seven hours ont of twenty-four; but,
since a steam engine will work contin
uously, ono-br ro power of the engine
is equal to that of 1 3 horses.
Twixkltxo or tub Stabs — A few
years ago M. M<mtigny called attention
to the fact that the scintillation of stars
is considerably increased during the
aurora bore ilia. Farther data on this
subject are affordod in a resent issue of
the bulletin of the Belgian Academy.
Among other things he has observed
that the phenomena is more prononnced
in winter than in summer, and that
stars in the northern region show the
increaseJ scintillation most. The au
thor's general conclusion is that the
effect is not duo to direct infiaence of
electro-magnetic light of aurora on scin
tillation itself, bnt to disturbances'prob
ably a cooling) which coincides with
the appearance of aurora in the upper
regions of the air traversed by the star
rays.
r.Artti<|iiakr> In Japan.
For a number of year* Professor
Milne baa made a evetcmatic study of
the earthquakes of Japan. By a plan
of distributing j>ot&l card* to import*
ant cities for weekly report of abocka,
be baa obtained a record of a large
number of earthquakes for a very con
siderable extent of territory. Tbeae re
ports arc of gteat ralne in enabling him
to oompnte the source and extent of
earthquakes. Ilia catalogue for Hako
date, in Yexo, shows forty-two earth
quakes in the period from 1878 to 1880.
Comparison with the catalogue for an
other place showed that ten at least of
the Hakodate shocks were felt at Sap
poro, eighty miles to the northeast, in
the same island; and it was similarly
shown that seren of the shocks were
felt at Tokio, 500 miles to the south.
One ink-resting result of these observa
tions is the disoovery that earth quakes
seldom pa*s the barrier of mountain
ranges. Mr. Milne has estimated that
a distribution of instruments of ordi
nary sensitiveness throughout Japan
would reoord at least 1,290 ahooks per
year, or about throe per day, which is
a number greater than that obtained
by Professor llein for the whole world.
Advertising.
The trouble with e great many busß
neas men is, says an exchange, that
they try a " dash in the pan " method
of advertising, and because a single
appearance of their advertisement in
print does not bring in e regular throng
of customer*, they oonolode that adver
tising does not pay. Advertising dose
pay. Every man engaged in a legiti
mate business ought to be a liberal,
careful advertiser. This Is a branch of
one's business ihat is sadly neglected.
Many men who spend much money ia
advertising M very careless about their
me- hod of applying their money. -
The Kin* of the Plow.
Thn (word i* r*-*beaUiwd la It* w*b ard.
Thn rifln htag* *fn on thn Will;
fill longer wa qtml at tha hungry
Hot niah of tha rav-no-i* I>*!l * f
Thi war clon<l hu hiirll Ita laat T
It* laat awful thunder* are atiU,
While the demon ofrymfltoi In hade*
Idea fettered la force aa la will;
Above tb<> broad field that be ravaged.
What monarch rule* blissfully now?
Ob! crown biin with bajr* that are hi rAImPW-
Tbo king, the brave king of the plow 1
A king! ay t what ruler more potent
Ha* ever Kwared earth by hi* nod T
A monarch I ay, more than a monarch—
A homely, but bountiful God !
He atanda where in earth'* euro proUetla|
The aeod-graiiM are acetic red and
To upriae In snrene resurrection
When spring her soft trumpet bath blown t
A monarch 1 yea, more than a monarch,
Though toil-drop* are thick on hia brow;
Ob 1 crown him with oorn-leaf and wheel
leaf
The king, the strong king of the plow I
Through the ahedow and shine of past agea
(While tyrant* were blinded with blood).
He reared the pure ensign of Ceroa
By meadow and mountain and flood—
And the long, leafy gold of hi* harre*ta
The earth aprite* and air sprite* had rpnn.
Grew rhythmic when wopt by the breezea,
Grew royal when kissed by the sun;
Before the stern charm of his patience
What rock-rooted force* must bow I
Come I crown him with corn-leaf and whaOk*
leaf—
The king, the bold king of the plow I
Through valley* of balm-dropping myrtles.
By banks of Arcadian streams,
Where the wind songs are set to the myitis
Mild murmur of passionless dreams;
On the storm-haunted upland* of Tbule,
By ice-gird led (lords and floes.
Alike spool* the spoil of his godbood,
Tlie bloom of his heritage glows;
A monarch ! yea, more than a monarch—
All climes to his prowess must bow;
Come! crown him with bays that art stall*-'
less
Tbe king, the lira re king of the plow.
Far, far in earth's uttermost fature,
A* boundless of splendor *e scope,
I see tbe fair angel fruition,
Outspeod hie high heralds of hope.
The roeee of Joy rain around him.
The lilies of sweetness and calm.
For tbe sword lias been changed to the plow
share,
The lion lies down with the lamb t
Oh. angi-1 majestic 1 We know thee,
Though rained and transfigured art thou—
Thn lord of life's grand consummation
Was once the swart king of the plow 1
Paul 11. Uayno.
PFMiFST PARAGRAPHS.
The fashionable shade this summer if
the shady side of the street-
Food for reflection: Mince piat
cbeeee, lobster salad. No sleep. Time
! to think.
Fogg says beef should be classed
under tbe head of game, because it it
! dear meat.
"Tha parting gives ma pain." as tho
■ man said when he had a troublesome
tooth extracted.
Before marriage he thought she wag
a little dear, but after marriage he found
she was very extravagant.
Fashion at a picnic demands that •
giri shall get wet sooner than hoist aa
umbrella that does not match her suit-
Professor : " What Latin word mean
ing money ahows the fact that formerly
cattle were used aa a medium of barter T*
Junior : •• Bullion."
" She struck him with a fiendish
■mile," asys a sensational novelist.
That's better than striking him log
two dollars. — Derrick.
Young Swell: "Miss Matilds, may I
offer yon my arm?" Matilda: "Oh, this
offering yonr arm is getting monotonous.
Why not offer me your hand for a
change V
" Were I to be candied I would say
you were just about the nicest fellow I
ever met," said aho, while leaning on his
arm in front of a confectioner'#. He
bought the taffy.
It fathion writer says "raised figures*
produced excellent effect. Well, that
depends; if they are on a cheek they
sometimes produce the effect of sending
the raiser to prison.
A school-teacher wss asking her little
girls the other day questions in regard
to the growth of plante, and on putting
the question, "What makes tbs flowers?"
one of them presently answered, "tha
buds."- Oil City Derrick.
In a certain street are three
Tbe first to eet up shop hung out hie
sign: ' Here is the beet tailor in tows.*
The next pot up; "Here ia the bee!
tailor in the world." The third simply
had this: "Here ia tbs best tailor ia
this street"
A gentleman made e rookery in front
of his houso, in which he planted soma
beautiful ferns, and having pat up tha
following notion, found it more efficient
and leee expensive than spring guns or
man traps. Tbe fear inspiring i ascrip
tion wee: " Beggars, beware! Soolo
pandriums and Pvlypodtums an eat
here."
sn oaoes uecmrre.
A busy retail grocer.
Whom we all surely knew, sir,
Wss ashed ons day ta a friendly way
By a country ehsp who had com# to stay
TkU tho mail mm* in tt tbs clows of day,
"WhM or* your gross rwowipts, sir V
"Ha ho I hs, ha I bo, ho! alrC
, laughed thn Unsy grocer,
S* h* pointed out, with laugh tad about,
Tho barrels and box** ranged shout,
"Too CM plainly woo, bwyoai! a doubt.
What art my grocery e*h oh ?*