fbrty Years Ago.
Three gay little iada on a winter 1 * night
Hat cracking their nute by the pine-top#' light—
Hat cracking their nuts, and laughing with
glee
At tho wondorful things thay would go and aee.
That waa forty years ago,
Round tho cot and pino-wood fen.
Now a noble city atanda
There with many toiling hands,
And tho little lads are men.
Said Harry; "I really don't know wliloh is
best,
To shoulder my riflo and go to the West,
Or to harpoon tho whales in tho Arctic seaa ;
But 1 aha!) bo auro to do ono of thoaig"
That waa forty years ago—
And the hunter nover went,
lie's a man of stocks and shares,
Great among tho "bulla" and "bear*,"
And a railroad president.
Little Willy said slowly : " I hato the noiao
And crowd of cltios ; and I shall go, boys.
To some far Weitern prairio and pitch my tont,
And live like Ilobinaou Crusoe, coatent."
That was forty years ago.
Willy is a merchant bold ;
Willy' name's in evory land ;
Kvory market feels his hand,
And his word is good as gold.
Now Jack hid been reading a wonderful tale,
And be said: "I shall go, if my plans do not
fail.
To be Captain Al' Haba, and find mo a cavo.
With forty good robbers, all clever and bravo.'
That was forty years ago.
Jack's a judge of aterneat sort ;
No one slauds like him for law ;
Thieves and gamblers stand in awe
Of bis unrelenting court.
Mary .4. liarr, in Harper's tt'eifcly.
A COOL SCOUNDREL.
My profession isn't a popnlar one.
There is considerable prejudice against
it. I don't myself think it's mnch
worse than a good many others. How
ever, that's nothing to do with my
story. Some years ago me and the gen
tleman who was at that time connected
with me in business—he's met with re
verses since then, and at present isn't !
able to got ont—was looking around for j
a job, being at that time rather hnrd
up, as you might say. Wo struck a
small country town—l ain't agoin' to
give it away by telling where it was or \
what tho name of it was. Thero was
one bank there; the president was a
rich old duller ; owned tho mills ; owned I
tho bank; owned most of the town
Thero wan't no other oflieer but the j
cashier, and they had a boy who used !
to sweep out anil run on errands.
Tho bank was on tho main street,
pretty well np one end of it—nice, snug
place, on the corner of a cross street,
with nothing very near it. Wo took j
our observations, and found there wasu't
no troublo at all about it. There
was an old watchman that walked
np and down tho street nights,
when he didn't fall asleep and forget it.
Tho vault hail two doors; tho outside
one was chilled iron and had a three
wheel combination lock; the inner door
wasn't no door at all; yon could kick
it open. It didn't protend to be noth
ing but Qro proof, and it wasn't even
that. The first thing we done, of
course, was to fit a key to the outside
door. As the lock on tho outside door
was an old fashioned Bacon lock, any
gentleman of my profession who
chances to read this article will know
jast how easy that job was and how we
done it. I may say here that tho gen
tlemen in my lino of business having at
times a great deal of iei.snre on their
hands, do considerable reading, and
are fond of a neat bit of
writing. In fact, in the way of litera
ture, I have found among them—how
ever, this being digression, I drop it,
and go on with the main job again.
This was onr plan : After the key
was fitted I was to go into the bank,
and Jim —that wasn't his name, of
coarse, but let it pass—was to keep
watch on the ontaide. When any one
passed he was to tip me a whistle,
and then 1 doused the glim and lay low;
after they got by, I goes on again.
Simple and easy, yon see. Well, the
night as we selected, the president hap
pened to be out of town; gone down to
the city, as he often did. I got inside
all right, with a slide lantern, a breast
drill, a small steel jimmy, s bunch of
skeleton keys and a green baise bag to
stow the swag. 1 filed my light and
rigged my breast drill, and got to work
on the door right over the lock.
Probably a great many of yonr read
ers is not to well posted as me abont
bank locks, and I may say for them that
a three-wheel combination look has
three wheels in it and a slot in each
wheel. In order to unlock the door
sou have got to get the three slots
opposite to eech other, at the top of the
lock. Of oonrse, if y o j know the num
ber the look is sat on, you can do this ;
but if you don't, yon have to depend on
your ingenuity. There is in each of these
wheels a small hole, through which
yon pot a wire through the baok of the
lock, when you obange the combina
tion. Now, if you can bore a bole
through the door, and pick np those
wheels by runnings wire through those
holes, why you oan open the door. !
hope I make myself clear. 1
boring that bole. The door was chilled
iron; abont the neatest stuff I eve*
worked on. I went on steady eaongh ;
[ only • topped when Jim—which, m I
said, wasn't his real name—whiatlod
ontaide, and the watchman toddled by.
By and-bye, when I'd got pretty noar
through I heard Jim—so to speak—
whiatlo again. I stopped, and pretty
soon heard footsteps outside, and I'm
blowed if they didn't come right np tho
bank steps, and I heard a key in tho
lock. I wus so dumbfounded when I
heard that, that you could have
slipped tho bracelets right on me. I
picked np my lantern, and I*ll bo
hanged if I didn't let the lid slip
down and throw tho light right on to
tho door, and there was tho president.
Instead of c tiling for help, as I thought
ho would, ho took a step inside the
door, and shaded his eyes with his
hands and looked at mo. I knowed I
ought to knock him down and cnt out,
but I'm biost if I could, I was that
surprised.
''Who are yon?" says he.
"Who are you?" says I, thinking that
was an innocent remark as ho com
menced it, and a trying all the timo to
collect myself.
' I'm tho president of the bank," says
he, kinder short; "something's the
matter with the lock?''
By Georgo! the idea camo to mo
then.
"Yes, sir," says I touching my cap;
"Mr. Jennings, ho telegraphed this
morning as tho lock was ont of order
and ho conldn't get in, and I'm come
on to open it for him."'
"I told Jennings a week ago," says
he, "that ho ought to got that lock
fixed. Where is ho? '
"He's been a writing letters, and he's
gone np to tho bouse to <ret another let
ter ho wanted to answer."
"Well, why don't yon go right on?"
says he.
"I'vo got almost through," says I;
"and I didn't want to finish up and
open tho vault till there was somebody
here."
"That's very creditable to you,'' says
he; "a very proper sentiment, my man.
Yon cin't," he goe9 on,coming round by
tho door, "be too particular abont
avoiding tho very suspicion of evil."
"No, sir," savs I, kinder modest like,
"What do you suppose is the matter
with tho lock?" says he.
"I don't rightly know yet," says I;
"but I rather tbink it's a little wore on
account of not being oiled enough.
These 'ere locks ought to be oiled about
once a year."
"Well," says he, "yon might as well
go right on, now I'm here; I will stay
till Jennings comes Can't I help yon?
hold yonr lantern, or something of that
sort ?"
The thonght rame to me like a (lash,
and I turned around and says :
"How do I know you're the president?
I ain't ever seen yon before, and yon
may bo a trying to crack this bank, for
all I know?*'
"That's a very proper inquiry, my
man," said he, "and shows a most ie
markablo degree of discretion, f con
fess that 1 should not have thonght of
tho position in which I was placing
yon. However, 1 can easily convince
yon that it's all right. Do yon know
what tho president's name is ?"
"No, I don't," says f, sorter snrlv.
"Well, you'll find it on that bill,"
raid he, taking a bilf ont of his pocket,
"and yon we tho same name on these
letters," and ho took aomo Utters from
his coat.
I suppose I might to have gone right
on then, bnt I ru beginning to fee'
interested in making him prove who be
was, so I Rays :
" Yon might have got them letters to
pnt np a job on me."
" You're a very honest mn," says he;
"one among a thousand. Don't think
I'm at all offended at yonr jieniistence.
No, my good fellow, I like it, I like
it," and he laid his hand on my shoul
der. "Now hero," lays he, taking a
bundle out of his pocket, "is a package
often thousand dollars in bonds. A
burglar wouldn't be apt to carry those
around with him, would he ? 1 bought
them in the city yesterday, and I
stopped here to night on my way homo
to place them in the vault, and, I may
add, that your simple and manly hon
esty has so touehed me, that I would
willingly leave them in your bands for
safe-keeping. You needn't blush at my
praise."
I suppose I did turn sorter red when
I see them bonds.
" Are you satisfied now f says ho.
I told him I was, thoroughly, and so
1 was. 80 I picked up my drill again,
and gave him my lantern to hold, so
that I could see the door. I heard Jim,
as I call him, outside once or twice, and
1 like to have burst out laughing, think
ing how be must be wondering what
was going on inside. I worked sway
and kept explaining to him what I was
a trying to do. He was very much in
terested in mechanics, he said, and be
knowed as I was a man as was up ia my
business by the way I went to work.
He asked me about what wages I got,
and bow I liked my business, and said
ibe took quite a fancy to me. I turned
around once in a while and looked at
him a setting up there as solemn M a
biled owl, with my dark lantern ia his
blessed hand, and I'm blamed if I
didn't think I should hsvo to hollar
right ont.
I got throngh the look pretty soon,
and pat in my wire and opened it.
Then ho took hold ot the door and
oponod the vanlt
"I'll pnt my bonds io,"said he, "and
go home. Yoa can lock np and wait
till Mr. Jennings comes, I don't sup
pose you will try to fix the lock
to night."
I told him I shouldn't do anything
more with it now, as we could get in
before morning.
"Well, I'll bid you good night, my
man," said lie, and I swnng the door to
again.
Just then I heard Jim, in name,
whistle, and I guessed the watchman
was a-coming up the street.
"Ah," says I, " you might speak to
the watchman, if you see him, and
tell him to keep an extra look out to
night."
" I will," says he, and we both wont
to the front doer.
"There comes the watchman np the
stroet," says he. " Watchman, this man
lias boon fixing tho bank-lock, and I
want you to keep a sharp lookout to
night. He will stay hero until Mr. Jen
nings returns."
"Good-night, again," says he, and
we shook hands, and ho went up tho
street.
I saw Jim, so-called, in tho shadow
on the other side of tho street, as
I stood on tho steps with tho watch
man.
" Well," says I toth" walchm in, " I'll
go and pick up my tools and get ready
to go."
I went back into tho bank, and it
didn't tako long to throw tho door open
and staff thorn bonds into tho big,
Thoro was some boxes lying aronnd,
and a safe as I should rather have
liked to have tackled, but it seemed
liko tempting I'rovidence after the
luck we'd had. I looked at my watcn
and see it was just a quarter past
twelve. There was an express w<-nt
through at half past twelve. I tucked
my tools in the bagon top of tho bonds,
and walked ont to tho front door. The
watchman Was on the steps.
"I don't believe I'll wait for Mr.
Jennings." says !. " I nnppoao it will
be all right if I give yon his key."
"That's all right," says tho watch
man.
" I wouldn't go away far from the
bank." says I.
" No, I won't," says ho ; " I'll stay
right about here all night"
"Good night." says I, and I shook
hands with him, and m and Jim
which wasn't his right name, yon un
derstand, took the 12:30 express, and
tho best part of that job was we never
iiard nothing of it It never got into
tho papers."
Lincoln's Itrnuins.
A Hpringfiold (Ohio) loiter says : The
attempt to steal tbo remains of Mr.
Lincoln bont throe years sinco is re
membered by almost every one.
Ever since then tho public, in fact every
body save a half doz>n persons inti
mately* connected with tho Lincoln
Monnment association, supposed Mr.
Lincoln's remains wore inclosed in tho
marblo sarcophagus which stands in
the veetibnlo leading to tho crypts,
whore other members of tho family are
entombed. This is not so, as yonr cor
respondent learned to-day for the first
time. All that remains of Mr. Lin
coln have been bnried in the
gronnd, nnder some portion of
the immense granite pile forming his
monnment, over since the attempted
robbery, and are now in a complete
state of petrifaction. This startling
statement is from one who knows, and
will bo news to all bnt a very few per
sons, as it was understood at tho time
that the eml>almers' work at Washing
ton, immediately after the death of Mr,
Lincoln, was not a snccess, bnt a ban
gle. Boon after the remains were en
tombed at this city in 1865-6, it was
said they were in a bad state of decom
position, and that the embalming was
not working. This seems to hsvo been
an error, M there ie no donbt bnt that
the statement that bis remains hsve
turned to stone is trne.
A Tree of Iron.
A Columbia (8. C.) letter to the Syra
cuse Standard ssys: The iron palmetto
is the greatest work of art in the State
house yard. This is a casting wholly
of iron, oommern orating the death of
many of Carolina's slain, whose nsmes
are fonnd in raised letters on two brass
tablets at the base. The success of the
casting consists in its perfect imitation
of the living palmetto—the favorite
tree of South Carolina. We had heard
of this statue in other places, bnt had
nevor been able to believe the stories
of the flexible leaves bending in the
breeze, supposing this phenomenon an
optical delusion, bnt such is really the
caee. The long, thin leaves of iron,
life-like even to the hair-like fibers of
the twiga and branches, ware tremu
lously in every zephyr, and the whole
tree, painted artistically, has so close a
resemblanoe to the reel tree as to de
ceive the aeoteet observer at the dis
tance of five rods.
MORAL AMI ItRIiHJIOUS.
Baallfal Answers.
A Persian pupil of Hioord gave the
following extraordinary answers:
"What ia gratitude?"
"Gratitude ia the memory of the
heart."
"What ia hope ?"
" llopo ia the blossom of happi
neaa."
" What is tho difference between
hope and deaire T"
" Deairo is a tree in leaf; hope is a
tree in flower ; and enjoyment ia a tred
in frnit"
" What ia eternity ?"
" A day without yesterday or to-mor
row; a line that has no end."
" What is time 7'
" A lino that has two ends; a path
which begins in tho cradle and ends in
the tomb."
• What ia God ?"
"The necessary being, the son of
otornity, the merchant of nature, the
eye of justice, the watebmakor of the
universe, the soul of the world."
" Does God reaaon ?"
" Man reasons because he doubts; he
deliberates, ho decides. God is omnis
cient; Ho never doubts, He therefore
never reasons. '
Itrtiuloua New* ull d Netre.
Tho negotiation/) for the anion of the
Associate Boformod and United Preeb/-
terian churches have failed.
The Unitarians of Great Hritain have
just held a national conference at Liv
erpool, which is apokcn of aa "a grand
success."
There has bean a revival in Jaffna
college, Ceylon, ami fifty of tho seven
ty three students havo renounced pagan
ism for Christianity.
Tho receipts of the American Home
Missionary society for the past year
were 8110,069, an increase of 831,011
over any previous year in the history of
the society.
Tho Presbyterian church in New
Sonth Wales is in need of fifty moro
minister* for the supply of the churched
there, and money has been forwarded
to Mr. Morton, the agent in London,
with which to send oat any who may
wish to '.abor at the antipodes.
The latest statistics {of the Southern
Methodist chnr<h state that there are
1,011 traveling and 5,965 local preach
er*, 911,307 white, 01/3 colored, and
5,151 Indian members, the total of min
isters and members liemg 800,697, an
increase of 12,9 m the past year.
Bishop Fallows, of the Iteformed
Episcopal church, says that tho Chris
tian army in Chicago, of which he la
the head, is now reaching at least two
thousand different persons a week, and
that daring tho few months since its
organization not less than two hundred
and fifty persons have been hopefully
converted.
The ninety eighth annual convention
of the Episcopal diocese of Pennsyl
vania was held recently. Bishop Stevens,
in his addreis, sts'ed that daring tho
year he had confirmed 1,119 persons,
preached 129 sermons, delivered 121
addresses, received twenty five candi
dates for holy orders, ordained seven
deacons and fonr priests, and conae
crated sii cbnrehca. The number of
clergy in the diocese is 23.3. The
bishop represented the diocese aa being
in a flourishing condition.
A Mexican Mining Legend.
One of the roost commonly believed
Mexican tales is that one of tbo " Htep
Devil." The men tell you in some ol
the oldest mines there is s dwarf. A
peculiarity sbonthim is that he has im
mense long arms—arms so long that br
can take off his sandals withont stoop
ing. This dwarf, when there is any
danger in the mine, such as a cave
goea np the lidJers, lifting himself by
his srms, with bis legs hanging free
As he passes each rnng he stamps 01
kicksjit out of the side pieces, so thai
the men, when they attempt to fly, find
all means of climbing ont of the minear*
destroyed. In tho very old mines,
which were worked by the Indiana,
there were no ladders, bnt in theii
place trunks of tteaa in which notchei
had been cnt, and the Indians elimbed
by inserting the big toe in the notches.
When the Indisns tell yon of the " Step
Devil " they asy he has on each big tos
an enormons na.l, and that as he climb!
the tree trunk he nses this to gouge the
notches ont by splitting off the part on
which the toe rests. The story is evi
dentlyan Indian one, although altered
by the Mexicans to suit the chsnge in
the mesne of going up and down the
shafts.
The niggcst Sheep.
An Austin Sunday-school teaohet
wanted to make bis pnplla comprehend
the parable ol the good shepherd, so he
said:
"Now, dear children, suppose yon
were all little abeep, and I had charge
of yoo and led yoa about, what would
I boT
" A big sheep,'' was the unanimous
response."— T< x t Si/fing*.
Carrier-pigeons are being trained for
nae In the Oeraan army.
The Sunflower Rage.
"Have yon, abem, any, ah, any sun
flower seeds?" aaked a young lady,
timidly, of a New York dealer in garden
seeds the other day.
"Yes, madame, plenty," answered the
young man in such a business like way
aa to relieve the young lady's mind of
any idea that it was a matter for ridicule.
" Whieh do yon want, the small or the
large?" ho asked with a pleasant smile,
as he placed before her several small
square envelopes filled with the aeod.
The lady took two packages, for whfch
she paid thirty cents and departed.
"Do yon tell much of that seed7"
asked a reporter.
"Do wo sell much of it ? Well, now
I gneas. I never saw such a demand
for one particular kind of flower seed
since I've been in t'ce business as there
is this spring for snnflowers. There
won't bo a back yard in Now York from
Mott street to narlem that won't have
Its clnmp ot growing sunflowers this
summer, jmlging from the.demand there
is for seod."
"And this is dne to the cesthetie
movement 7'
" Why, cer—. Yes, of course; if it
hadn't been for 00-ir sunflower seeds
would be as tboy bave been for years, a
drug in the market. People may talk
as they like, but he has been the means
of causing money to flow throngh a
good many channels, end the seeds
men's turn to thank the a Jvent has ar
rived."
"Is the flower a difficult one to
raise 7*
" Why, bless you no. It is the easi
est of any. It requires no care, and
will grow rapidly anywhere where there
is plenty of sun."
" What have the seeds been nod for
heretofore?" the reporter asked.
"Oscar Wilde says in bis lecture that
fhe impreroon that the sunflower is
used as an a- <tbetic diet is erroneous
—beia mu'uken. In Portugal meal is
made from the seed", from which bread
is made; and w hen roasted they make an
excellent substitute for coffee. The
seed in its natural state is eagerly
i-ongbt for by birds, and in the country
innflowers aro raised for the see.ls,
which aro used in largo quantities
for chicken food. It is very fatten
ing, so if you are solved with lea
rbickcns at your loirdiog house tlrs
lummer you may tbauk Mr. Wilde and
the more important demand ho ha>
rrested for the seel as a feast for lh<-
eyes. Tho seed cxnta'ns a great quan
tity of oil, which is fit for burning in
lamps an ! which is in some European
countries mad • into a good aulxtitnte
for olive oil. Thre won't be a garden
br door yard in Newport, Saratoga or
any of the principal watering-places
that won't have its Qelianthu* annnns
lubcrosus or multiflurn* this summer,"
taid the young man ss he was called
sway to weigh ont half a pound of cab
bage seed.
A Mighty Power for Good.
Will the pi>era of thirty years hence
I how as great an improvement as hsve
Ihe papers of the last thirty years?
\ They will nndonbtcdly improve. They
re a rapidly growing power. Their
influence was never greater than it is
[ to-day. They mold pnblie opinion.
They make and unmake onr rnlcrs to a
large extent. They shape and enforce
our laws. They are the terror of evil,
doers, and tho gnardians of the pnblie in*
teresta. Their watchfulness excels offi
cial seal. They give tone to the com
munities in which they are published,
each according to the measure of its
ability and standard In tfiis free land
power is greater than that of the
riing in bis dominions, and more stable.
They reach every nook and corner of
Itho land, cheering the lonely, uphold
ing the weak, advising the strong,
helping all. A tremendous power in
deed. How they smite the wrong and
bphold the right I The press of the
oonntry is incorruptible. It is honest,
independent and nnpnrchaaable. Of
fice-holders may fail in the discharge
of duty, and congresses and legisla
tures may go astray, bnt the independ
ent press remains, a faithful protector
lot the people's interests, a purifier of
politics, s defender of the country,a
teacher of sonnd morals, a mighty
power for good. May it ever continue
inch.—yoHhfimptnn
Mosquitoes and Elephants.
Thick as is an elephant's skin, no
living creature suffers more from dies,
mosquitoes, leeches and other vermin
than he. The porse are very large, and
gadflies and mosquitoes, leeches, etc.,
worm themselves into the hollow and
snck to repletion. Tbns the whole day j
long they are constantly throwing np
dirt, sqnirting saliva or water to get rid
of the pests, to the great annoyance of
their riders. They snore a good deal
when asleep, and I have often seen them
resting their beada on an outstretched
foot when lying down. They are very
human like in many of their waya. They
cratch themselves with the tip of their
ptoboscis, and if they cannot reach tha
place with that they take up a branch
and nae thai. Natives say they ping np
bullet holea with elay, bnt I never
| knew an instance of it myael t-Lowdo*
M
THE FAMILY IIOIIOK,
Ckkkhk. —The card from which chris—
if made is highly nutriti'ius and awry of
digestion, hat the caring: process—s in
in all cases—mark the difference be*
twwu dried apples and the green-im
pair* the digestibility. Old cheese,
oftener than otherwise, it unfit for the
weak stomach, it not for all. Thai
which haa become tainted—rotten or
putrescent— or haa become infected with
vermin, or ia moldy, ia no more fit for
the stomach that, putrid meat, or any
food which haa undergone the procean
of decompoaition. Hnch mold ia an ab
solute poison and should never be
eaten.
Coiinh. —The simplest and moat nat
ural euro of those troublesome thing*
is prevention. Thia consists in wearing
a well fitting hoot. They are caaaed by
the chafing of the aurfaoe, the thicken
ing of the cuticle, as one means of pro
tecting the sensitive ncrvea beneath. If
the boot ia tight it ia manifest that the
evil is increased by this thickening of
the skin, since the tightness is thus in
creased. It ia proper to aay that a bad
fit, resulting iu this chafing, produces
the same result, that of thickening (be
cuticle. The remedy, therefore, con
sists in wearing well-fitting boots,
avoiding the cause. But, if this ia nol
done, the oorn, being albuminous, may
be dissolved by the application of
almost any 'alkali, as soda, ammonia or
potash. Muriatic acid will do the ume,
though it may cause more soreness.
Of course several applications may be
required. The same applications will
also cure warts.
Powokiko.—lf the poison swallowed
ia known to be a caustic or oorrosive
substance give sweet oil, melted butter
or lard. If the nature of the poiaon ia
not known, try to cause vomiting by
giving a teaapoonfnl each of salt and
mustard in a glass of warm water, and
afterward give the whitea of eggs and
strong ooffee. lodide of starch Is also
a useful remedy formtny cases of poi
soning.—Dr. FooVe'i Health Monthly.
I* Crime Hereditary !
The question of whether crime waa
hereditary came up in a New York po
lice court, and Janice Patterson re
called two instances as follows:
" 1 knew a gentleman who was well
to-do in business. lie was a church
moml>er, and stood high in the com
munity. He had a most exoellent wife,
ur.d one son and a daughter. After the
birth of the daughter the father took
to drink, left the church and be
came an inveterate drunkard.
He bad six children after this—
throe sons snd throe daughters. All
six turned out bed. The three sons
were sent to State prison, and two
of the daughters' husbands were also
sent to State prison, and they were bad
themselves. The first son and daugh
ter were models of rectitude, snd the
son did all he could for bis unfortunate
brothers.
" The other day I had 'Red Fogarty*
end his wife beforo me at an examina
tion in Jefferson Market court, sbout a
silk dress which bad been stolen from
s bouse snd sold by Mrs. Fogsrty to
the woman who was arrested in the
street with tho dress on. Well, Mrs.
Fogarty carried a bouncing boy with
ber, s child of about two years
—a noisy fellow. Ha did not cry,
but roared, as if angry, and chattered.
I was passing through the examination
room; Mrs. Fogarty was standing with
the boy iu her arms. As I passed my
diamond stud glistened s little, and the
little fellow made a grab at my shirt
front. I caught his band and put it
away, when he grew perfectly ill-na
tured and mad bocanse I did so. The
badness was born in him. n
Honest; the Best Policy.
" Mister," began a small boy, aa be
entered a Woodward avenue grocery
yesterday, "ma bought some mackerel
here laat night"
" Yea."
"And in making change yon gave
her—'•
"No, I didn't I I haven't had e
quarter with a hole in it for a month P*
" Bat ma aaya yon gave her a—"
** Don't believe it—don't believe it I
I remember now I gave her a half-dol
lar. a quarter and a nickel."
"Ma aaya yon gave her a gold pieoe
for a penny, and here it in."
" Good gracious alive t bnt so I did
—no I did I I remember now that I
gave her a dollar-bill and a lot of small
change. Bub, what's yonr name, and
do yon think yon can eat three stioks of
lemon oendy f Ah t it does me good
to And honesty end reward it !" —/>•
/'-re*.
The Worst Tel.
Austin oas boast of the cheekiest
bore in Texas. He came into
S'fnngt office and was nosing about
among the exchanges.
"Do I disturb you?" be naked.
"Jm, lam very busy; too bogy to
pay any attention to yon."
"Well, then, perheps yon had better
take e little walk while I look over the
pepera end write e few letters el jome
desk."— Ttx-u S'fH itgs.