Newspaper Page Text
in Ai'Tiion or " ctmraw SUM SOT i*O n>
Two ships nailed out paat tho harbor bar
One beautiful autumn day.
More precious than all earUi'i Jownb are
Was tho freight they txire away.
There wore fend farewells and anxfoos sighs,
And meeting of loving lips;
There were eanioet prayore, as from longing
Mailed tho two [ore-freighted ahi|xa.
The sky was dear, and tho sun shone bright,
When they loft the hartior town;
But tho storm-king rodo on tho (loop at night.
And one of the ships wont down.
Two human ships set sail ono day,
Ou a calm and sunlit eoa;
From th - I Kilt of homo they nailed away.
And ono was look Ah mo 1
There wore hidden rods of crimo and sin,
O'or which his life was tossed;
There were merciless oldies to draw him in,
And ho to life was lost.
When ships go down in tho tracklom dnop.
We weep, and tho church-hells toll;
But Hearon mourns and the angels weep
When is wrecked tho human soul.
A weather report—A clap of thunder.
Close rotations are not nocossarily
Farmers report the hens as becoming
wery set in their ways.
"Come, gentle spring," says the bur
glar, as he picks the look.
Inquirer—Where is the best place to
learn to sing ? Tho desert.
Cattle earn their daily food in the
summer by the sweat of their browse.
Why is it that we hear so mneh abont
the Cochin China bnt nothing abont the
" People at tho mint aro working
overtime." And yet wo see very little
of their work.
A lawyer is al>ont tho only man that
ever made anything by opposing ]a
•' Does poultry pay V asked a strange
of a city dealer. "Of course," we*
the reply, " even the little chickens
"Yes," said a lady, complacently, "I
expect we'll get rioh now. My hus
band has just been appointed one of
the receivers of an embarrassed savings
"I tell yon, gentlemen, that dog of
mine is an intelligent critter." "Poa
s ibly," mattered Fogg; " bat yon
wouldn't think it, judging from the
•company he keeps."
English doctors say that plants In
sleeping rooms mre nnhoalthy. French
doctors say they produce sweet slnru
bers. American doctors don't say any
thing abont it, bnt charge it in the bilL
A New York paper has discovered
that ".San Francisco has a six-logged
cow. It has beon attired in knee
breeches ont of compliment to Oscar
Wildo." That cow trnly has two, two,
" Oreen, let me introduce yon to my
friend Brown." Oreen—"How are yon,
Brown 7' Brown—"lt's my color, and I
can't help it? How aro yon, Oreen?"
Oreen didn't like tho joke, evidently,
for he changed color.
" I don't care so much about the loss
of my thumb, as a thumb," said tho
grocer, whose horse had amputated tho
member, " but as a source of profit I
shall miss it. I've measured that thumb
in the shape of tieans, meal aud molas
aaa nigh onto a thousand times. Well,
my wife can't afford anew parlor carpet
A little child gave expression to an
old story in the following manner : It
seem* that the littlo fellow had dis
covered a bee crawling upon his hand
Finally the lice stopped for a moment,
and, after remaining stationary far a
instant, stung the little fellow. When
the cry of pain was over, the little
child said to bis mamma that he didn't
care for the bee's walking about on him,
bnt he didn't like his sitting down on
China dugs are the latAst erase, and
now in milady's bric-a-brac room will
be fonnd a large and curions assortment,
from the smallest. The chins dog hss
advantages over the live article not to
be disregarded. It doe* not bars to
be fed, and instead of being fastened to
a string, where it is running in every
direction bnt the right one,', may be
suspended from the belt by a chain and
so relieve the tortaringi of its being
lost. Then they neel no tnasxles, and
they will probably not be taxed.
" What do yon think of a strong
government ?" inquired a New Haven
man of his neighbor as they both leaned
against the fenea, smoking their even
ing cigars. "I think," said the
neighbor, looking cautiously around,
''that women are best calculated to
administer sash n government" And
sharp, shrill voice from behind the
dilinds called ont: "riamunl damns
Jenkins, what are yon thinking of, talk
ing tue whole night away ? It's Ume
honest folks were abed." "I agree
with yon," wae the remark of the
original speaker, and they both slid
bto their respeotivs gate* .with beeom
n ( m eekoaea.
MORAL AND RELIGIOUS.
In Isaiah it is written : "They shall
mount np with wings as eagles ; they
shall rnn and not be wtary, they shall
walk and not faintand after the wulk
ing comes the standing ■ Ours would
be tho other way abont—first standing,
then walking, then running, then fly
ing. But wht wo seo in the word of
God wo see in the actual life of tho
Christian. First, wo soo him rapturous,
exultant, mounting, flying ; then, in
tho largeness of his heart, running in
the way of God's commandments; then,
when tho rapture and energy of tho
first lovo are partly spent, walking in
the path of life ; but now the contest
with the enemy comes, and soothe Chris
tian warrior stands. "Stand iu the evil
day, and having done all, stand."— /'<•.
Iti-llgtona Xewsnnil Nalr
Forty five years ago tho Hcottiah
Episcopal church had only seventy two
charges; to day there arc 202.
The Methodist Episcopal church in
creased tho number of its churches last
year by throe hundred and thirty-four
and the value of its churcU property by
moro than 2,000,000.
Bt. Xavier's Roman Catholic church,
in Cincinnati, was recently destroyed
by fire. It was the most beautiful
church of the Jesuit order in tho West,
and cost nearly 3150,000.
The Methodist centennial, which it is
proposed to hold in 1881, is making
some progress. It is to commemorate
the introduction of Methodism into
the United States, sod will be com
posed of representatives from all the
Mothodist bodies in America.
Ton years ago tho Central Presby
terian church, iu Dourer, Col., was a
missionary church. It now has a
one hnndred-thousand - dollar church
edifice, tho finest between Ht. Louis
and Han Francisco; pays its pastor
$5,000 and has a membership of 500.
The average income of tho clergy of
the Hcottiah Episcopal church for 1881
was $1,050, Tho raogo is from $215 to
$4 ,425. Tho avcrmgo stipend of each of
tho seven bishops is $3,280. Tho
church has 67,483 members, an average
of 331 to each congregation. The
largest congre gatiou has 1,000 members.
As the result of a deep religious in
terest seventy-seven persons were re
cently received into tho Presbyterian
church at Ilarrodsburg, Ky. The whole
oommunity has been seriously im
pressed, and all tho other churches iu
the place hivo had accessions. There
has not been so much religious interest
them for yoars, and the revival, both
in and outof tho church, still continara.
The general minutes of the Methodist
Episcopal chnrch. South, give these
statistics for 1881 : Traveling preach
ers, 3,704; superannuated preachers,
307 ; local preachers, 5,865 ; white mem
bers, 814,-*167; colored members, 003 ;
Indian members, 5,431 ; total ministers
and members, 860,687, being an in
crease last year of 12,984 : Sunday
schools, 9,310; teachers, 62,412;
scholars. 462,321—increase last year,
PEARLS OP THOt'HHT.
Happiness it something t > hope for
and something to lore.
Every man is occasionally what he
ought to be jierpetually.
It its good thing to learn caution by
the misfortunes of others.
A secret is too little for one, enough
for two, and too mnch for three.
Many men employ their first years so
as to make their last miserable.
Faith bnilds the bridge of prayer
tha. spans the chasm of human need.
Let no one overload yon with fa
vors ; yon will find it an insufferable
Oratitudo is a fruit of great cultiva
tion and not to bo found among gross
It Is with happiness as with watches;
the less complicated the less easily de
There are more fools thsn sages; and
among the sagos there is more folly
Oreat deeds need to be tested by
their spirit There can be no saintli
neas without humility.
Mover does a man portray his own
character more vividly than in his man
ner of portraying another's.
We judge ourselves by what we feel
capable of doing, while others judge us
by what we have already done.
We do love beauty at flrat sight, and
we do cceee to love it if it is not ee
oompenied by amiable qualities.
Instruction does not prevent waste of
time or mistakes; and mistakes them
selves are often the best teachers of all.
The virtue of a man ought to be
measured, not by his extraordinary ex
ertions, but by his everyday conduct.
Nothing is rich bnt the inexhaustible
wealth of nature. Hhe shows us only
snrfeoee, bnt she is millitn fathoms
TIIK HOME DOCTOR.
Illnla on Nunaln* Ibn Mirk.
Apothecaries' moasuro: Sixty minims
(approximately drops,) one (laid dram;
eight fluid drama ono fluid ounce; six
teen fluid ounces one pint, eight pints
The pulse in health varies from 150
per minute in the infant to seventy or
less in the adult, and is more rapid
when standing than when sitting or re
In disease the poise varies not only
in number of beats j>or minute, but also
in its regularity, fullness and other
qualities to bo recognized by a sensitive
and experienced hand.
Respiration occurs in health about
eighteen times per minute, bat be
comes more frequent in some diseases.
The normal temperature is about
ninoty-eight degrees. It may be in
creased in fevers to 105 degrees or
more, and is a bad indication in pro
portion to its increase and steady con
tinuanro above tho normal.
A fall of temperature two degrees
l>elow the normal is more dangerous
than an equal rise above, as it indi
rates prostration, and especially if con
Two thermometers are often required,
ono for the room and ono to test the
temperature of tho patient, by being
placed in tho armpit or beneath the
A good way to prevent ice from melt
ing has been suggestod by Dr. Gangoe
in the Lane*. Instead of placing ibe
broken ice in tho ordinary bowl or tum
bler it should be sn*|>cnded in a piece
of coarse open flannel stretched across
the mouth of the bowl and allowed to
fall partially into it. The ice thus sup
ported in tho flannel pouch had better
be covered over with another piece of
tho same material. Protected in this
way from tho light and the water fo med
by its own melting which filters
through to tho bottom of tho vessel—lt
can bo kept for ten hours.— l)r, Fuate'*
flt'tll h Monthly.
Stopped II N rajMT.
Nowadays w ben a subscriber get* ao
ma<l bee*ao an editor differs with him
on some trivial question that be dis
continues hia paper, we remind him of a
good anecdote of the late Horace (tree
ley, the well known editor of tho New
York Tribune. Falsing down Newspa
per row in New York city one morn
ing, he met one of hia reader*, who ex
•' Mr. Greeley, after the article yon
pnhliahed thia morning, I intend to
atop yonr paper."
"Oh, no," aaid Mr. Gracley, "don't
" Yea, air, my mind ia made np. I
shall stop tho paper."
Dnt the angry subscriber was not to
bo appeased, and they separated. Late
in the afternoon tho two met again,
when Mr. Greeley remarked :
"Mr., Thompson, I am very glad yon
did not carry out yonr threat this morn
" What do yon mean ?"
"Why, yon said you were going to
stop my paper."
" And so I did. I went to the oliee
and had my paper stopped."
" Yon are snrely mistaken; I havo
just come from there and the press
was running and business was boom
"Sir," said Thompson, very pomp
ously, " 1 meant I intended to stop my
subscription to yonr paper. "
"Oh I thnnder I" rejoined Greeley ;
"I thonght yon were going to stop the
running of my paper, and knocs me out
of a living. My friend, let me tell yon
something : One man is jnst one drop
of water in tho ocean. Yon didn't see
the machinery of this world in motion,
and you can't stop it; and when yon
are nnderneath the gronnd things npon
the surface will wag on the same as
A Chinese l'ariieide.
A horrible story is told in s recent
nnmber of the Pekin (Chins) Gaaette.
There was a young utn of so bad s dis
position that his father compelled him
to set up s separate establishment.
One day the old man came to his son's
house intending to pawn one of the
young man's oosta in order to gamble
with. The son refused, objecting also
to give him a pair of stocking* ho had
asked for. On this the father threatened
to complain to the authorities of the
son's unfllial conduct, and marched off
for that purpose; the son followed him,
armed with a jar, with which he hit his
parent over the bead. The old man re
taliated with a bill-hook, but was soon
overpowered and killed. The son then
stripped the oorpse, and, rolling the
blood stained clothes into a bundle,
took them home and hid them nnder
the floor of bis room. The corpse being
found. It was snpposed that the old man
had been murdered, and the affair
passed off; but one day the murderer
get drank and told bis wife the whole
story. The woman fearing that dis
eovery might lead to het being impli
cated, accused her hatband to the au
thorities, and be was sentenced to un
dergo the "slow and ignominious"
process of being gradually cat in
Tha Crarl W'r.ni It Caaard aa fnaaraat
Man In lawn.
Ovor a year ago a man named George
Dennett was sent to the penitentiary
from Montgomery oounty, lowa, for
three years, a sentence imposed upon
him after being convicted of selling a
quantity of grain to a dealer in lt d
Oak, representing himself to ho a far
mer residing near that place. Tho
fraud was not detected until tho sharper
had skipped, and after somo search
Dennett was taken in on tho charge by
ono of that class of men who are de
tectives because they are too stnpid
to make a living at anything else,
llennett was taken before the
swindlod grain men. They recollected
that tha man who swindled them had a
chin of peculiar shape, and this man
had that kind of a chin. On this sort
of testimony one of that wise body of
men known as grand juries indicted
the man. lie was tried in court. The
grain man swore to the chin story. The
poor fellow himself on the stand denied
each and every charge, but the jury
were all men too smart too believo any
ting that a man under arrest would
say, and voted him guilty, and tho wise
judge sentenced him to throe years in
It seems that Sheriff Palmer, of the
county, was not satisfied with the iden
tification of the man, and set to work to
ferret it out and discover the true crim
inal. He found a clew, and wa < soon on
the track of his man—ono William Hill.
He found him in Missouri and arrested
him. At first he vociferously denied
the charge. But when he was told that
another man had boon arrested and con
victed for the crimo and was now serv
ing out a term in tho penitentiary for
it, he said, with a touch of human feel
"I was mean enough to swindle the
grain firm out of the money when I was
hard up, bu*. I am not mean enough to
let another man servo out the punish
ment for my crimo."
He went willingly with the sheriff to
Bed Oak, and seemed ao impatient to
free the man who was suffering on his
account that he asked to be taken )>e
fore a notary, where he swore to his own
guilt. This sworn statement, with a
largepetition from the people, includ
ing the two juries who had tried and
convicted Bennett, and the judgo who
had sentenced him, were laid before
Governor Sherman, who signed a
pardon at once. The grand jury also
investigated Hill's case and indicted
Ihr Diff.-rrnre Ibtewn a Cjclonc ami
The difference between a cyclone and
a tornado is defined by Mr. William
Ferris, of tho United Htaten coast sur
vey, to l>e this: A cyclone ia usually a
broa<] l fiat, gyrating disk of atmosphere
very much greater in width than alti
tude; a tornado ia a colnmn of gyrating
air, the altitudo of which ia fereral
times greater than its diameter. Cy
clones are horn of conditions extending
oTcr large areas; tornadoes depend
rather upon the vertical relations of tho
atmoaphere, and occur when, owing to
local changcaof temperature, the nnder
strata of air bursts up through the over
lying stratA. The enormous velocities
of the ascending currents of tornadoes
are supposed to be caused by the differ
ence between the gyrating velocities
above and those on the surface. It is
these ascending currents which carry
up tho vast bodies of water after
ward precipated in the form of a
deluge of rain. The water ia some
times kept from falling by the aseend
iug currents, and is often projecting
outside the aiea of the tornado, when
it falls in a gentle shower over a large
area. When the weight of tho water
overhears the force of the ascending
currents, there occurs the tremendous
fall of rain known as a cloud hurst.
When tho area of a tornado is very
small, a'land spout or water spout may
l>e formed, according as it is over land
and water. The width of these sponts
ranges between two feet and 200, and
their height from 30 to 1,600 feet. A
white squall is an invisible spout
formed when the dew point is low. The
accompanying cloud is invisible because
of its height, bat below there is s rag
ing and boiling sea, with a gyrating
current of air above it Land sponts
and water aponta are hollow.
Pleased to IISTC Him Call.
A good old proscher of the Methodist
persuasion officiated one day at a fune
ral in Massachusetts, and at the close
had a word of inquiry and advice, as is
the local custom, with many of the au
dience. Among others he approached
a lady, a stranger to him, who was vis
iting in the neighborhood, and after
shaking hands, asked her if she was on
her way to heaven. "Yes," she promptly
answered, " and if yon ever come that
way, I should be pleased to have yon
call." The good old gentleman, hor
rified at each seeming levity, turned
away without reply, when a friend, ait
ling near, remonstrated with Mrs. ,
who, still more horrified athcr mistake,
said the understood him to ask her if
she was on her way to Hudson, where
A Snake That was Hard to Kill.
While a company of men belonging
to the American naval vessel John Han
cock were surveying on ono of tho
Malay islands (Host Indies), ono of
them named Williams was bitten on the
hand by an nnknown snake—ono of
an ngly kind that "roosts' on the
Pushes. Williams was terribly fright
ened, and tho rapid swelling of the
hand seemed to justify bis fe.ars. Lieu
tenant Havorsham, relating the incident
I blazed away at the snake with my
revolver, but ho dodged every shot and
kept his eyes on me with a steady glare.
The captain and tho rest of the party
came tearing through the jungle.
"Look out I Mind that snake!" I
cried; "ho bit Williams and looks
ready for another.
"Try him with your rifle," said
I advanced, and putting the muzzle
within an inch of his head pulled the
trigger. When tho smoke of the die
charge cleared from the thicket there
was no snake to be seen.
" linnt for him, boys, said the cap
tain ; "I want a piece of him to put on
We began peering curiously into the
bushes, moving them aside with our
guns and gradually passing among
them. We no longer feared an enemy
whom wo believed blown in two pieces,
at least, but his mate might be on some
Suddenly one of tho men discovered
him. "Stand still, Mr. Haversham!"
he exclaimed. " He's got his eyes on
I immediately acted on the caution,
'don't think I ever stood so still beforp.
The speaker lifted Lis cutlass and
brought the snake to tho ground with a
| broken back. I bad simply jarred him
to another branch with my rifle, and
the cutlass that bad at lastbrougnt him
, down had passed within two feet of my
He now bit furiously right and left,
tried the cutlass, which proved rather
hard, and finally sank his fangs into his
own broken back; and all the while it
seemed that his angry, glittering gaze
was fixed on mo—as if ho recognized
the enemy who had just knocked him
off his roost.
The captain took a piece of hisjflesh,
bruised it betwoon two knives, and
l>ound it and a piece of tobacco over
| the wonnd Then he told the man:
" There, it's all right now. That'll
draw the poison oaf, I know," and this
cheerful assurance, combined with a
pint of gin, so restored the poor fel
low's nerves that he took np his car
bine and expressed himself ready to
continue tho march.
Williams recovered—but whether it
was owing to the "hair of the dog,"
etc., remedy, or to the tobacco, or the
gin, is left uncertain.
X Square that ter Sleep*,
Malison squire, says the No* York
correspondent of the Boston Jlcral<l, is
the night focus of Gotham gayetr. The
rest of tho city goes to bed early and
sleep* soundly. Excepting the wicked
end of the Bowery, about all the public
insomnia is in tho Madison square
neighborhood. The idea of Now York
being awake and noisy all night is a
mistake. Whole square miles are a*
still after nightfall a* a Vermont village.
Tho " ceaseless ro*r of traffic" is pnre
fancy. Broadway is deserted for almost
its entire length from a reasonable bed
time nntil daylight. The exception is
Msdison square, with a few squares above,
below and alongside ; and this is the
liveliness imparted by pleasure seekers.
Ten theaters are here in a stretch ot as
many blocks, and five more are not far
away. Thus at lcaat 20,000 persons
come into this area from all directions
at about 8 o'clock every evening. They
throng the sid-walks, crowd the horse
cars and stages, and make the pave
ments lively with carriages. But the
great majority arrive afoot, walking
from the nearest elevated railroad sta
tion A New York theater of the fash
ionable kind fills all of s sadden. The
lower and seoond tiara are sold in re
served seats, so tliat the audience ha* no
need to t>e in place long before the
time for the curtain to rise. As for the
galleries, it is exceptional for them to
have any oooupants worth mentioning.
A IMMI Hank by a Whale.
Tba Australian schooner Pet was al
most instantly snnk by a large sperm
whale. The monster had no sooner been
descried than he charged the veesel, and
the attack was so sodden that nothing
oould be dona to repel it. He struck
the schooner on the starboard bow and
stove a large hole in her. The captain
perceived that it was all np with the
Pet and ordered away tho boat. This
having been accomplished and water
and provisions thrown in, Uia captain
went below for his log-book and ship's
papers, bat before he could regain the
deck the veseol sank and he perished.
Through seal knowledge is gotten;
through laok of teal knowledge is but;
lei a man who knows this double path
of gain and low thus placa himself that
knowledge may grow.
Among the Northwestern t rib on of
Indians innocencj in as marked among
the girls an their color. The impres
sion that the red maiden does not en
tertain a high standard of morality in
an error, for alio is taught an other
girl* are, and grows np with well de
veloped idea* of the responsibilities of
life and a firm resolution to discharge
them. Educated in the faith that she
wan ordained to work she trains herself
to undergo hard labor, and at sixteen
years of age is sturdy and strong, brave
against fatigue, and a perfect house
She may not possess New England
notions of cleanliness, but she takes
not a little pride in her personal ap
pearance, and in the arrangement of
her lodge she displays some crude ideas
of taste and a cartxia amount of neat
ness. If she marries a white 'man she
makes him a good wife as long as she
lives with him. His home is her sole
comfort, and his comfort her sole ambi
tion. She thinks of him an 1 for him,
I and makes it her study to please him
and make him respect and love her.
She recognizes in him one of a superior
! race, and bv her dignity and devotion
endears herself to him an l struggles to
, make him happy.
At the agencies ol the npper frontier
thousands of men are employed, and it
.is not an exaggeration to say that the
majority of them have Indian wivoj
, and live happily. They are not sought
after by the maidens, for the Indian
' girl's custom is to remain quiet until
after the marriage contract is mad i and
the marriage portion paid over. The
husband must have the dowry, with
which he must invest his projected
1 mother-in-law before the ceremony
takes place. The process is a little out
of the usual run, and a description may
be of interest
The aspiring bridegroom must be
well known to the tribe before he can
hope to win a wife. Her people want
to thoroughly understand him and
know if he can support not only her
but also her relatives in the event of a
pinch. He must be a kind hearted
man, with a temper warranted to keep
in any domestic climate, and he must
have a good lodge, and at least half a
dozen of horses. If he be, and Lave all
these, he can a-wooing go. Selecting
the lady, be makes application to her
mother, and at a council the price is
If the girl be especially pretty her
mother will demand a gun. two horses,
and a lot of provisions, blankets and
clotb. A gun is valued at SSO, a horse
at 920, and he must furnish material to
bring the amount up to from 9100 to
8150. Then he trios to beat the dame
' down, and if he succeeds he knows
there is some reason for letting the girl
go; if not he understands be is miking
a good choice. The courtship is left
; entirely to the mother —Montreal Star,
Appealing to a Higher t'onrt.
Montreal some years ago, in the days
of the old courthouse to feast his eyes
npon which Nelson statue opposite
turned bis back npon the bine water of
the St Lawrence, had a very mtter-of
fact magistrate who dispensed with
jnslioe in petty cases in the basement
of the temple of Themis. One fine day
hL honor had just given judgment in
a snit where loth plaintiff and defendant
were women, and the defendant, who
bad been ordered to pay the debt,
amounting to abont $2 75, with costs,
happened to be a woman of deep con
fictions as to the jnsticc of her case, so,
wrapping bcr shawl closely around her
and lifting one bony arm tragically, ahe
exclaimed solemnly :
" Yonr honor, there is a Court Above
to which I will appeal—**
" There is no appeal to the court np
atairs, my good woman, except in cases
involving sums of S4O or over. Call
the next case I' 1 was the brisk reply of
the deeply nnimpreseed magistrate, end
the defendant wrs hnstlod ont of court
before she could explain.
A Sign Which Conquered.
A Wayne oonnty farmer who is much
annoyed by tramps csme to Detroit a
while ago and had half a doxen signs of
" Smallpox—Beware!'' painted to post
np on his house and gronnda. Although
he had one on either aide of his gate
they had not been np two hours when
a rover passed between them and
knocked on the door and aked for
" Didn't you eee those signs on the
gate?" demanded the farmer.
•• Yos'r, bnt I can't read."
The next one xaid he was near-sighted J
and thonght the signs read " For sale.' 1
The third had had smallpox and was I
willing to none the family. The fourth '
had besn vaccinated, and was recklew.
The fifth had a remedy to esU, and the
sixth, after getting asray with a cold
bite, tnrned to his benefactor and said:
" If yon want to beat the boys knook
down them signs and put np one reed
ing: • Help wanted.* It never feils to
keep'em jogging straight along."
The farmer followed the advice, and
he hasn't htd a call rieoe. Free frtti
Acta, looks, Words, steps, form the
alphabet by wbieh yea spell character.