Centre Democrat. (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, March 31, 1881, Image 7

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Iln I hi- I'rraldi'iiln of Hie I iiltril Hlaln
llnvw (lour Into OISI-I---I*l-IIIH \Vnhlni|liiii
to <• rfli'ld.
A Washington letter to tlie New York
Cnmmircial Advertiser, gives the follow
ing interesting ueeount of the inaugura
tions of the Presidents front Washington
to Oar field:
The eonstitutional history of the
United States liegins from May 2.'1, 17mn,
the treaty of peaee having been signed
at Paris, September J, 1783. On the
sixth of April, 17h!I, Washington was
declared President. The fourth of
March, 1780, had been selected as the
day on which the inauguration cere
monies should take jdace, hut delays
carried it far beyond that time. The
twenty-seventh of April was at last
decided'upon, but here arose another
hitch. "What shall our thief Magis
trate be called ?" was nsked on all sides.
Shall it be " His Grace," " His Excel
lency," or "His Honor,"or a more regal
title still? Three days were consumed in
settling the vexations question. Finally,
it was decided to call him simply " The
President." On the thirtieth of
April, 1780, New York city presented a
lively appearance. The streets wore
tilled with people. Divine services were
held in all the churches. Prayers for
the safety of him who was to guide and
for the nation to be guided, were nu
merous and earnest. At noon the pro
cession, a gorgeous turnout for those days,
passed before Washington's residence.
The procession was composed of the
military, a long line of cm riages contain
ing the committees,members oft 'engross,
and heads of departments, then Wash
ington in his coach of state, drawn I>\
six milk-white horses, and all splendidly
caparisoned. Foreign ministers and
citizens brought up the rear. Washing
ton halted a short distance from the
city hall, and passed baivhcnd d between
the line of troops to the Senal chamber.
He was met by John Adam , who had
just been inaugurated as Vice-President>
and conducted to the chair of state the
same chair General Gartleld occupied,
ami which has been owned for the jiast
fifty years by Mr. W. ('. Waddell, of New
York. The oath of office was admin
istered by Chancellor Robert I. Living
ston, in full view of the thousands who
stood in the street below. Washington
was very much moved. Near him stood
Roger Sherman, Hamilton, Generals
Knox, St. Clair, Baron Steuben, James
Otis and many other eminent patriots.
As soon as the"oath was read Washing
ton solemnly said, '• I swear, so help me
God," and kneeling, kissed the sacred
book that Mr. Otis held in his hand.
The chancellor then advanced and cried
to the assembled multitude, " I,<>ng live
George Washington, President of the
United Stall's'" Washington was re
elected and served till March 6, 17'.i7.
The bitter and acrimonious contest
between Thomas Jefferson ami John
Adams was decided by the election of
the latter. His oath of office was ad
ministered by Oliver Ellsworth, chief
justice of the United States, on March
5, 1707, in the hall of the House of
Representatives, in Philadelphia. Wash
ington attended the ceremonies. In a
letter to his wife, Adams said: " A sol
emn scene it was. indeed; and i. was
inaite more affecting to mo by the pres
ence of the general, whose countenance '
was as serene ami unclouded as the day."
Immediately after tho ceremonies
Washington depart* il for Mount Ver
non, where, on December 14, 17!K, he
succumbed to the disease lie contracted
several months In-fore.
John Adams left Washington in a buff
and was not present when bis successor,
who, as everyone well knows, rode into
town on horseback alone and unassist
ed tied bis horse to the fence. Thomas
Jefferson was elected bv the House of
Representative and never Isifore and
seldom since has party spirit ran so high
nuil savagely. The oath of office was
administered by tho chief justice, the
Vice President, Aaron Burr, having been
previously inaugurated. There was no
ball in the evening. No parade of mil
itia. No great demonstration on the )>art
of citizens. The levees were abandoned
and the state carriages sold. During
Jefferson's second term, however, thanks
to the vivacious Mrs. Madison, whose
hnsliand was secretary of state, the ex
ecutive hail some style infused into him,
and a change for the lietter followed.
jamim Madison's inai iutiati<in.
James Madison, the fourth President
of the United Htates, was inaugurated
Marrh 4, 180! l. Tho excitement was
not gri-nt and the crowds w ere not iarge.
He filled the chair for two terms
Dnring his term the war of 1812 oc
enrred, Washington was hnrned and
sacked. And Mrs. Madison's act of
saving Washington's picture by cutting
it from the frame and running from the
honse with it, is familiar to every one.
jamih monkor's in At NiI.'IIAT ion.
James Monroe, another two-term
President, was inaugurated on the fifth
of March, 1817, the fourth liaving fallen
on Hunday. A large procession of citi
zens attended him to the eapitol. The
President-elect was escorted by the
Vice-President, Daniel T. Tompkins, of
New York. Chief Justice Marshall run
tlorotl tho nnth of oftico, un<l j>dulh of
j artillery, deafening cheers from the ten
. thousand throats and other riotous de
| monstrutioiiH of gladnesH rent the air.
, His inaugural wore his auditors out.
Ihe President started on a Northern
tour. During luh term of office the oen-
I tcr foundation of the present eapitol was
laid; the Missouri compromise was
passed; Florida wan ceded by Spuift;
the independence of South America was
acknowledged and the treaty with Co
lombia was ratified. The great Monroe
Doctrine will no doubt remain the mo-!
enduring monument of his term.
.loIIN qt'lNl'V adamh' is W'oi li vi'lov
In the tight between General Jackson
and John ( t nincv Adami, the election
was carried to the House. Henry Clay,
then speaker, by his deciding votes
placed victory upon Adams' banner.
('lay was taken into the cabinet as see
rotary of state. At 12:.'1(), on March I"
1825, Mr. Adams was sworn into office
by Chief Justice John Marshall. The
ceremonies were impressive, the
attendance very large, all the judges
of the supreme court in full robes
were present, together With both houses
of Congress. Forty minutes, wi re con
sumed in reading the inaugural address.
"Old Hickoiy" was one of the first to
congratulate the new President. During
Mr. Adams' term, bis father. John
Adam . ocoini I'll sidel. . alld Thomas
Jefferson, third President, botfti ignore
of the ilci -titration I i idopendein died
on the f< ■ v; th of July, 1*21!, the fiftieth an
niversary o national independence.
John c Calhoun was Vice-President
during John Quiiuv Adams' mlmitii
t ration.
WDI.I'W JAt ksiin's IS Al'OtllAlloN
When defeated in 1825 Jackson ri -
tired to private life, permanently it was
thought. lint the entire opposition
massed ,olidly against Adams in |s2'.,
nml he received only eighty-three elec
toral votes as against 17* for Jackson.
It seemed as if the whole country had
gathered at Washington on inauguration
day. A disposition was made by a cer
tain element to mar the occasion, but
the general'* friends were too strong.
The crowd that gathered around the
eapitol was dense as grasshoppers
in a eornpa'i h. about as noisy
and as " tfiumltuoiis as an angry
sea." When Old Hickory appeared
hats, umbrellas and handkerchiefs were
thrown up, shaken, and waved respect
ively. Chief Justice Marshall adminis
tered the oath, for his last time. The
inaugural eon Id not be heard. During
his administration of eight yi-nrs, the
treaty l<etui i-n the United States and the
Ottoman empire was ratified, our ]>orts
were reo|iened to British commerce, the
tariff laws of 1832 were passed ; Jack
son's warfare against the United Slates
Bank and the jmying off of the national
debt in IK'tfi an- two of the most con
spicuous acts of bis administration.
Martin Van Buren, the eighth Presi
dent of the United States, was inaugu
rated on the fourth of March, 1*37 a
lautiful day--the oath of office being ad
ministered by Chief Justice Taney. The
administration Wganwith m lntul hang
ing over it. and six months icaroely hail
jiasseil I a-fore the cloud burst in all its
fury, and the jsuiic of 1*37 brought
hundred* to ruin and destruction.
There are other {mints of interest in
President Van Bttren's administration,
such as the Canadian insurrection, burn
ing by the British of the American
steamship Caroline, and *usp nion of
cash payments by tlie lsuiks.
General Harrison's inauguration was
a lively one. The capital was crowded.
|iacked with thousands of visitors. The
event had long lieen aiitii ipati d, and
thousands had come as many miles to
see the great {Migrant that was exjiecteil.
The President-elect risle the entire
length of Pennsylvania avenue with his
hat off, despite the rold ami ldnstery
weather. He was escorted by the
National Grays of Philadelphia, Un
diplomatic corps, and all the high
officials and by the veterans of his wars.
Chief Justice Tuiiev administered the
oath of office, which was received with
cheers and ihe roar of artillery. In one
mouth's time the nntion mourned. The
President bad contracted a cold which
proved fatal. His Vice-President, John
•Tyler, filled out the term of office, and
was succeeded by
It w as on the fourth of March, 1845, that
James K. Polk was sworn into office by
Chief Justice Taney, the outgoing and
incoming chief magistrates riding to
gether in an open carriage. Together
they entered the (Senate chamber, where
the President delivered a long address.
At 12 o'clock on the morning of March
4, 184'J, the members of the Senate met
in their chamlier and formed into line,
the marshal of the District of Columbia
leading, followed by the supreme court
of tho United Htates. Tlie President
elect leaning on the arm of the Preai- ;
dent, the Vice-President and the diplo
matic corps formed the procession.
General Taylor delivered the shortest
inaugural on record. Chief Justice
Taney swore him into office. Tlie cere
mony is prononnccd as having lieen op
Frank I ir. Pierce, the fourteenth I'resi
dent, whh sworn into office March -1,
18f!l. The day was stormy, and is on
record us the brat inauguration (lay II|KII
: which snow fell. The procefwion was
| over u mile in length ; the enthusiasm
I intenHo. The incoming President and
; hi* predecessor rode together in it ba
j rouehe. The whole
hla/.ing in full court dreM, enhanced the
lienuties of the dn/./ling scene. The line
of inarch was interrupted by a gang of
men disguised as beggars, who seriously
interfered with the dignity of the occa
sion ; but a general tight, in which the
beggars w ere roughly handled uml right
eously beaten, enlivened the general
pris'ccdings, broke the monotony, and
restored the dignity that had I tiuil
cd in the dust, chief Justice Taney ad
ministered the oath of ofliec, this making
his fifth time. The inaugural was read
' in a clear, distinct tone.
If the roar of cannon, the cheers of
the populace, the attendance of wealth,
youth, beauty and intellect, the display
of military, could make an administra
tion successful and popular, then James
Ituchauun's ought to have INS II success
ful and as popular as any of his prcde
ci shots' or his successors'. The oath of
office was administered to J aim Bu
chauaii, of Pennsylvania, by ('hicf Jus
tice Taney, on March I, l*-".
\lillAll Wl UNiol.n'm |\ At 1,1 I: • l he,
Ihe Work assisted bv Hiichaiiun was
to culniinat- under Lincoln Monday,
March I. I*<d. will h< nniL'lllbi led bv
• very one who w . old enough to realize
the danger tin country was in. Civil
war Was u]ui us. The President elect
had la-en smuggled into tie capital by
night for fear of assassination In
truth, when the uiorning cann that was
to usher in the new administration, it
was doubted whether Mr. Lincoln had
arrived in town There were many
w ah hearts who feared lie larked the
courage to face thedarigei that eiet vone
P ali/ed had coine u|srn II Hut Lincoln
Was at his post. A lnrge volunteer
force had Is'en ordered to attend the
regulars. Mounted orderlies were
|s.-ted at every available spot, (leneral
Seott deposed of his small force to the
greatest advantage. The Senate lutd
been in session all night, and refused
to adjourn until tiie legal limitation
At I o'clock the was
annoumas]. The Senate arose, the ju
diciary swept in in their long rol of
offiee, headed by the venerable chief
justice. Mr. Lincoln entered the
Senate clutmher with his prisleceor.
He was introduced by the ill fated
Baker, and was received with cheer*
He read hi* inaugural with a distinct
utterance and without a tremor in his
frame. All felt the awful crisis that
was at hand. Chief Justice Taney, with
trembling bands, administer**! for the
eighth ami last time the oath of office.
Tim inauguration ball in the evening
wa* a grand atTair. Chief Just ice Chase
administered the **ath of office t<> Lin
coln at hi* second inauguration.
Andrew Johnson took the oath *>f
office quietly and privately Ix-fore Chief
Justice Chase, at the Kirkwm Phoii**-,
April I Ki5, at 10 a. h.
1 l.vsst?! K. OKAKT'h INAC'II IIATION.
Ulysses S. f *llllO, the eighteenth
President of the United Stat*-*, was
sworn into office by Chief Justice Chase
**ii March I, lH~*t. The morning was
gloomy, w-t and cold, but by n*H*ti the
sun came out and shott* brightly. At
11 :.'to the Senate notified the I'r* tdent
that all was ready. The galli-ri*-* w.-r*-
|*a*-ked. A few millUt' A ls-forn twelve
tlie supremo -*iurt. head*-*! by-
Chief Justice Chase, all in their official
rols-s, ent-T<-*l General Grant's staff
consisting of General* Rawlins, Porter,
ltalH-<s-k. Dent, Parker ami Badeati.atul
Colonel* la*-t and Webster, all in full
uniform, followed. The oath of office
was administered by the chief justice.
C|*ou tin- occasion of his second inaug
uration, March 4 IH7J, the morn
ing was keen ami cold, niul the wind
swept down Pennsylvania avenue with
terrible effect. A grand procession of
regulars, volunteers, ami civil societies,,
commanded by the late General
Harry, grand marshal, escorted
the President to the capitol. The
earriuge in which he rode, and in
which were also HenatorsCragin, Logon,
and Bayard, were drawn by four closely
elipjied mouse-colored horses. The day
was so cold that the crowd that had as
sembled tiefore the capitol was by no
means as large as that that hod wit
nessed Grant's first inauguration.
Ht-riiKUPoHi> n. it A r is*' IN AT'OR NATION.
Rutherford It. Hayes, the nineteenth
President of the United .States, was
sworn into office March 5, 1N77, by Chief
Jnatiec Waite, after a struggle flint is
too recent to need recalling. The usual
military procession, diplomatic corps
display, cheers and enthusiasm pre
Henator David Darin, says a corre
s|Hindent who has known him for nearly
thirty-year*, can safely lie said to be the
most extensive land owner in Central
Illinois, and his total wealth, at a fair
estimate, can lie placed at 92,000,000.
His taxes amount to alio tit 927,000
The Mransr VtiiU.lv Afflicting Thrm-lnrf
lerllvr Allnnpl* lo ltrllrr Them.
A letter from Frenchtown, N. J., to
tho Philadelphia 7Y man, says: Htrnight
across the Delaware from here, and bank
among the hills which run parallel with
the ri\-er for many miles, lives a family
concerning whom tho strangest stories
are told. The futlier ami sons ore farm
ers, and all live in u large substantial
house a few yards from tho road to
Doyleston. They are all chronic laugh -
ers, having an affliction of the muscle
of the month ami throat which compel
them to give \-ont to apparent rneni
ment at stated intervals. The muludv
flrst uppearcd in tlie father about ten
years ago. If*- was usually u very quiet
man, enjoying fun, but manifesting bis
enjoyment without much noise. H< was
seated at the dinner-table one day in
the spring of tho year, eating steadilv
and not engaging in any of the conver
sation which the other members of the
family were carrying on. Suddenly,
without any cause, lie burst into a loud
fit of laughter, so extremely different
from his accustomed laugh that ull
were* attracted at once. When n*k<*d
what was the reason for his sudden out
burst ho made no reply, but continued
his merriment. Home of the lmys
thought he had hysterics, ami )iounded
him on the buck, but it did no good.
After a few moment* lie made- motions
for pencil an 1 paper, and wrote that he
was unable to control his risibles, ami
asked tlietu to tend for a doctor.
The rural physician came, but conhl
give no rene dy that stopj-d the laugh
ter. Peal after |*eal of what seemed
the heartiest kind of fun caine from
liiiu, and nothing would avail to pr<-
vent it. Ihe doctor finally came to the
conclusion that lie was the victim of a
nervous attack, and, leaving u nervine,
departed. Tic- father continued laugh
ing until about sundown, when be sud
denly stopjved and fell on tho floor
completely prostrated. He soon grew
Is-tter, however, ate a hearty supper,
and sjK-nt the evening much as usual.
No igns of the old trouble apjs-aring,
he went to bed and was soon fast asleep.
Along aliout two o'clock in the morn
ing, however, his wife was awaken**! by
his laughter, and the same symptoms
manifested themselves as on the after
noon previous. He kept it np until
seven o'clock, laughing loud and strong.
At seven o'clock the noise suddenly
cea**-d and did not return again until
dinner-time. Thus it continued, re
curring each flay shortly after noon and
in the night about two o'clock, and ha*
ever since. As the week pasM*l he
grew so accustomed to the discs**- that
be was caused very little inconvenience
by it, 11 •• did not get tired out as at
first, and aof.ii was able to go about bis
work—sowing seed and planting com,
digging vegetabl* * and watering the
cattle— while laughing immoderately.
He could not talk while under one of
the s|*ells, but carried a slate and pen
cil around with him, after the fashion
of a deaf and dumb |#r on.
The trouble waa verv regular in com
ing and going, and only occasionally
broke forth at unlooked-for seasons.
Once the old man was taken in chnrch,
ju*t when the mil mtei was exhorting
his hearer* in the most solemn strains,
and apoflod the eff.-ct of the diMNM
l*e-*id* s disturbing the equilibrium of
the clergyman. Another time he was
found by one of liis neigblHirw along the
road, lying beneath a l*ag of flour,
laughing at a terrific rate. H<- had been
taken while driving home from the mill,
and the suddenness of the sounds
frightened the horse, causing it to run
away ami dump tin* nun atid past of l.ia
load out in the road. For eight's n
months the father waa the only one of
the household alllioted with tho malady.
Several of them had complained from
time to time of an inclination t*> join
tho father in tho laugh, but none of
them did ao until nearly two years after
he was taken, when Snsio, tho youngest
child, suddenly burst into a similar fit
dnring one of her fati.er's attacks.
Since then she laughs at almnt the
same hour her father does. < >ne by one
the remaining member* fell victims to
tho strange complaint, until three year*
ago there was but one left free, and that
was Charles, the oldest son. His long
exemption I**l him to believe he would
escajvo the contagion. Rut he waa mis
taken, and it is said he had his first at
tack while petitioning for the hand of a
Harriahnrg ilamar-l. 8o frightened was
the lady at the qneer behavior of her
suitor that she ran from the room, and
it was weeks before the proper explana
tions eon Id induce her to aee him again.
She is now one of the family here, and
escaping the malady, never minds the
hideous chorus of laughter which twice
a day resounds through the house or
grounds. It ia regarded as lather
strange that none of the neighliors
should have caught the infection, bnt
such ia tho case, although many of them
mingle constantly with the family.
Everything possible has lieen done to
alleviate or remove the malady, but
without perceptible effect. Several emi
nent physicians from the leading cities
have viaited the home and grown inter
ested in tho case. They all confess
themselves Imfihsl, and want one or two
of tho family to go to the city, where
they fan receive constant treatment.
This they refuse to *lo. Their jieciiliar
trouble, so noticeable and odd, has
made them very sensitive, and they will
not travel where they will la: subjected
to public scrutiny and remark. They go
to chureh or the store in the village close
by, and attend social gatherings occa
sionally in the neighborhood in the eve
'lings, bnt only among lifelong friends.
People within a radius of a few miles
are ho accoatomed to the thing that they
never mind ormontion it. Consequently
very few people outside of the immedi
ate vicinity, ami tho physieians who
have attended them, aie cognizant of
the circumstances.
The years of incessant laughter have
told somewhat on too faces of the fam
ily but not so as to lie very noticeable.
There are scores of lines under the eyes
and nliove the cheeks, ratine*] by tie
drawing up of the skin. Then their
mouths Lave become wider, and they
keep them dosed with difficulty. The
most marked result of the disease, how
ever, is in the voice. Tlie entire family
talk in the same tone, lesembling as
nearly as anything the voice of an alto
singer. Males and females have the
same inflection and intonation. Most
of them have more or less tioubl. with
their eyas, several having become very
near-sighted. The pupils have con
tracted and the entire eyeball is dimin
i*h*-d in size. This is accounted for by
the contraction of the eyes while laugh
ing and tho effort required in working
<>r r* ading while undergoing an utta*-k.
Very little physical annoyance is caused
the laughers. They read and write,
sleep and work without any trouble.
I In- only thingthey seem unable to do
while attacked is to eat, and that .-an
be readily understood. Several grand
children have been born, and in all but
one instance they were taken soon after
birth with stated attacks ut the name
hour* a* tlieii parents. Of conr*e they
do not laugh as tho older ones do, but
they crow and *-xpr< * all the signs of
baby glee twice a day, and never rry
while in that state.
Remarkable Instruments <*f Death.
Dr. J. 11. M*T*ean. a |*atent-ni**li< inci
manufacturer of St who lias ex
|M-n<li*l atN.ui .s-jisi.issi f„ r mcjf.p, „f
implement* of war which he claims are
*o destructive that their practical u**- in
one campaign would force th*. world
intfi a state of p*-r]**-tiial |*ace, gave a
public exhibition of hi* inventions at
tli<- navy-yard in Washington. Al*out
two huudrtsi i*cr*oiiH were j*r*-**-nt, in
cluding the Chinese minister and suite.
General lionet, chief of ordnance; Com
mander M<N ormiek, of the bureau of
navy ordnance, and many nrmv and
navy officers. There wi-r<- fourteen im
plement* i,u exhibition, but only four of
them w< re tried, and of these onlv fine
worked perfectly. The " General Sh. r
man. a small. br***-h-l**a*ling st**-l
cannon, which was cx]***-t<*l to fire
twenty-six shot* j-r minutes, fir**l
twenty shots in a minute ami a half.
lln- " A ixen, built of bronze, fired a
one-inch ball once in seven ***-<>ll*l*. The
"Aiiuihilator." which w a* intended to fire
two eliarg* * in a second, tir**l one in a
litt 1<- 1* • a than two seconds. Tin* " laidv
Mcla .u, which has thirty-six Inutcls
with an estimated eaijiacity of n*-arlv
1 t.ixiu shot* js r minute, with a range of
three mil*-*, was w.rk<*l t*. th<- |****l of
seventy-two shot* js-r second Tlie other
gun* w*-r not in order for trial Among
otln-r inventions that Dr. Mi lzwn ex
hibite*] i* a magnetic tor]*edo proj* 11**1
by clockwork and guul**l to iron ships
to le destroyed by a loadstone. The
gun* were pronounced fairly successful
by the officers, but the claim that they
would bring on a millennium was by no
means admitted.
An Indian Repartee.
( Home Indians serving under the Brit
ish during the American war of inde
pendence were invited to a conference
with the genera) commanding and after
ward asked to jsirtake of refreshments.
Among many other, to them, curious
tilings upon the table was a cruet stand,
and the color of the mustard in one of
the bottle* drew the attention of the
chief, Mew-hii-she-kaw (White Clond),
to it. Anxious to enjoy the luxury be
took alar.c spfvonfnl of the contents ami
I swallowed it—with what eth*ct may easiiy
l>e imagined. Though suffering, tin
chief still kept up that ap|Mannee of
stoical indiffereniN* so necessary to tin
i braves of his nation;(though with all his
resolution he conld not prevent tears
' coming into his eyes. Noticing t!u>*c,
j the great leader, Be-mon-ty-yah (Blister
Feet), spoke, saying: "What causes my
brother to shed tearsF* "Alas!" re
plied WhiteCloml, " it is this ronqvouiul
that lias made rao think of the grave of
my father." Blister Feet, thinking to
test the | *ower* of the mustard himself
then took a larger s]toonfni, swallowed
it, and he in turn shed tears. "Why
does the great chief weep 7" asked White
Cloud, and Blister Feet answer**l, and
said: "Oh, brother, my grief is that
thou art not with tliy father in his
ffravc 1"
The hair of a St. Louis merchant, who
took a vow not to rut it until he had ac
cumulated 9&.000, already hangs tmlow
1 1 his coat collar.
.If orphan*.
Ob, spirit of ttw drowny g'nl, imc norm,
And nink my Ix-iiig i'lto no-rnnnVluid;
Hr-*th over ro< the l>lmy breath of June,
And ir*t my ilresm* t/y fairy hand* bo
'* r from mi t| )( world'* vagui phantom*
I w-em U, drif! (I. lUI ( llir-rr-al hoal,
W In' h lijjtitl) ini between (be earth nod *Jie,
And a- fhmagii. u„ r titdmif J that,
I reign o i-r nil ao, newt triumphant king,
For nil I||<- ]* *' • thin world can show in mine I
My Joy th full; I wnnt not anything,
And nil nroon.l rn. j- rfr- t Klrrrlcw nhine.
I lim r< nib n world ' all nhow no Joy tn'im ilnoy
Than (lint wln< h comes to hlrwi the Jnnt rnan'n
A flerr Htoci The bono radish.
Hang the thermometer. What else
in it good tor ?
The only kind of cake children don't
cry after A cake of soap.
A household with a bahy iw fonnded
u P°n a rock. Sne ii~,vA*r.
Wlien in a horse not a home? When ha
in turner] itito a stable- I'hilmlelpkUiSurt,
The thermometer in one of the few
thirty that can fall without hurting
The man bound to be hanged in trar
eling out of the world at a break-neck
Jiace. Pi'tii/mir.
An inquiring friend ask* ; "When
yon fall ujiori thenidewalk, where in the
bent place to.strike?" There inn't any.
An Eastern pajmr announces that Jay
Gould has purchased three dozen of
eggs. I here he goen again. Mihtnu
lea Sun.
Meadville, l'a., has a Sheriff Apple.
He in trne to the core. Meadville had
quite a Windfall when nhe secured him.
Jl'tuh/n TrunjtcripL
Domestic anirnaln are supposed to bo
dumb, yet we have seen several dogn in
Hyraeuse that were remarkable tall cum.
Syraotur Sund<iy Timei. *
A liveryman thinks the great want ol
the day in young men with three arms.
He vaguely says it would lessen the
numla-r of driving accidents.
A tailor wan mart led the other day by
the return of a bill, which he had aent to
an editor, with a notice that the " manu
script was r pctfully declined."
Teacher—" Han fire any gender?'
Pupil—"Yes, feminine." Teacher—
" What make* you think so T' Pupil—
" Because 1 heard mamma tell paj not
to hug the fire."
There is a hog in Ohio which is fifty
yearn ol<l. This must le ancient
Greece. —Pw t. There ia a bottle of
spirit* in Kentucky that is 174 years
old. This muni be ancient Hum.—
Amrrtron (^u/^en.
A mother had taught her little girl
to repeat at a Sabbath-school concert,
the text, " Ho, every one that thirsteth,
come ye to the waters!" When eve
ning came, she very calmly, with j*-r
--fect h-If-possession, said : "Everv one
that hoes, come and get a drink !" Her
astonishment was great when she saw
the laughter of the audience.
" When i a man not a man?" asked
Jones. Of course he expected every
body to give it up, and then he was
going to say, " When he is a shaving."
Hut they didn't give it np ; not a bit of
it. One said it was when he was fool
enough to deal in conundrum*; another
answered that it was when he worked
over jokes a thousand years old. and a
third told Jones to look in the glass and
see for himself. Jones said he didn't
see what in time they were driving at,
but somehow he had lost all interest in
his conundrum and hadn't the hrert to
tell them the true answer, —/loston
Ulcjcle flub*.
The bicycle chiles in America, which
are reported and recognized a* amateur
wheel chilis, are now 100 in uumler.
They have an aggregate m< mlicrship of
almnt 'J,<om, and they include proliably
near one-thin! of the active wheelmen,
owning wheels, on this side the Atlantic.
Forty eight of them, or a little 1* than
half, have joined the Deagne of Ameri
can Wheelman with their whole activo
lists. These chilis exist in twenty-eight
of tlio I nited Ktates, the District of
Columbia and Canada. They are com
j*mod almost wholly of men, and of gen
tlemen in the good American sense of
that wonl. The average age of rnemliera
would proliably lie not far from thirty
years. Every profession and business
and trade is represented in their ranks.
They are less than a majority in num
ber*. but more than a majority in in
fbionoe, among those upon whom the
cause of bicycling in this country rests.
This is for winter reflection.
Three year* ago there was not a
bicycle club in Ameriba. Two years ago
there were Ave. One Tear ago there \
were thirty-five, and to-day there are \
one hundred. The mcml>orsbip of tlio
older clulm lias in the meantime con
siderably increased, their achievements
have grown I tetter, and their life and ac
tivity stronger. They have not proved
transient groujis; they are permanent
organisms. There www no crane about
thoir inception, and there is no precwri
ousness hlmul their existence. They,
like the noble wheel, hare come to re
main, and to increase and multiply.
Let them lie kept warm during th
winter, and they will leap to new life in
the spring. — Ptcgcte Warid.