fitiMh.
■aqtnasMKHT.
We live by laith; but leilh Is not tho slave
(H text and legend. Reason'* voice end
God's,
Nature's and duty's, never are at odds.
What aaka our Father ot His children aave
Justice and mercy and humility,
A reasonable service of good doe<ls,
Pore living, tenderness to human needs,
Reveret.oe and trust, and prayer lor light
to toe
The Master's footprints in our daily ways'—
No knotted scourge, nor sacrificial Unite,
But the calm beauty of au ordered lite
Whose very breathing is unworded praise—
A lile that stAnds, as all true lives have
stood.
Fast rooted in the faith that God is goodT
KHJ*.
Dream not, oh soul' that easy is the task
Thus set belore thee. If it proves at length,
As well it may, beyond thy naturalstrength,
Doubt not, despair not. As a child may ask
A father, pray the Everlasting Good
For light and guidance 'midst the subtle
snares
Ot sin. thick-planted in life's tlioroughiarea,
For spiritoal nerve and moral hardihood.
Still listening 'midst tbe noises round about
Of time and sense, the inward-spcuking
word,
Bitter in blame, sweet in approval honrd,
Piercing the tumult of the world without;
Te health ol soul a voioe to cheer and
please,
To guilt the wrath of theKumonidoa'
ITTXRAKC*.
Bo< what avail isadequate words to touch
Die innermo-t ol truth? Shall 1 essay,
Blinded and weak, to point and load the
way,
Or grasp a theme lor angels overmuch?
Yet it it be that something not my own,
■Some shadow of tbe tbonght to which our
schemes
And creeds and riloaU are uncertain
dreams,
Is even to my unworthiness made known
I may not hide what yet I scarcely dare
To nttcr, lest on doubtful lips of mine
The real seem (also, the fitness less divine,
So through the pauses ot an inward prayer,
1 own the laith which seems the simple
truth
At evening time, as in the dawn of youth,
John O. WhiUitr, IN tht Chrulinn Union.
A NATURAL MISTAKE.
" I say. Prince!"
Prince Winslow. fishing, under a
fragrant' rh of sweet tern, iooked up
and belie,d the good-natured counte
nance of nis friend, Doctor Denleigh.
" He'en wants you to cotne up this
afternoon, if you can."
" Have they eomcP"
"Yes."
The two t..en smiled into each other's
fare*. The younger one looked at his
watch.
" I sha.l have to go home and dress.
Tei, Mrs. Donieigh that I will be around
about four o'clock."
So the arrival of the Misses Sclwyn
spoiled a delightful day's fishing for
Prince; but lie accepted the situation
quite good-naturedly. Indeed, pcrf-ct
as wa the weather and excellent his
luck, he no sooner heard the expected
news tl 'in a sudden willingness to foro
go the oys of tbe seen for the delights
of the tnseen took pe session of him.
And as soon as the doctor's cheery 'ace
disappeared from the bank, he withdrew
bis patent fly from the water, wound up
his line and with his fishing-rtid over
his shoulder, began to ascend the wind
ing path to the road.
Pretty girls were not plenty in Reel
field; and the Misses Seiwyn had bc*n
described to him as very pretty, also
accomplished and very charming. They
were the orphan nieces of the Den
leighf—heiresses in a small way—and
had arrived to spend the delightful
month of October with their relatives.
Now Mrs. Helen Denleigh was a nice
fittie woman, but not altogether disin
terested. any more than tbe rest of
mortals. Pretty giris were rare in
Red field, hut eligible young men were
not; and she certainly had no objection
to ber husband's nieces making nice
matrimonial connections while with
her. In fact she had had her fair and
debonair young neighbor, Prince Win
slow, in Iter mind when extending the
invitation tothegiris. He was a good
natured fellow, cultured and intelli
gent, wealthy, and belonging to one ol
the oest Lmiles in the country.
Since both the girls were tieautiful
and either could make him a suitable
wife, why sLould not this young acicn
of a titled eonninl fnroiiy become Mrs.
Helen's nephew?
The lazy Oitohrr afternoon was at its
-richest when Pi lore came up tbe au
tumn-red avenue of the Maples. A ser
vant, meeting itim at the door of the
mansion, said that the ladies were in the
garden, and Mrs. Denleigh would like
to have him come there.
He turned away, and went down
among tbe (lowers; but scarcely had be
taken a dozen steps in the direction in
dicsted, when he stopped in alarm. A
pretty fig nre rose among the shrubbery,
reaching oat a branch oljcrimson leaves,
and as quickly went do an with a scream
of terror.
Prince comprehended instantly that
the girl bad lost her balance, and fallen*
into the pond. He heard the splash and
other screams of fright.
In an Instant bs was on the spot.
Though the pond was a mere toy-pond
for fish, he saw instantly that tbewbite
laced girl was beyond btr depth, and
tsooid soon be drowned bot for timely
help. Tbe other ladies who wars run
ning away for assistance, returned nt
sight of him, and besought the yocng
man, incoherently, to "save Amy!"a*
ho flung off his coat and sprang Into the
water.
The chill or shock had made the girl
quite unconcious by the time ho reached
her, and, lifting her petite form in his
arms, waded out of the water.
" Letsomo one who is dry take her up
to the house —she will come to in a
minute," ho said, trying to rid himself
of some of his superfluous moisture.
Two of the mon-BTVanU wrapped
the dripping girl in a blanket, from the
grHßs, and bore her away, while Mrs.
Dcnlelgh besought him to follow her,
and allow her to furnish him with some
dry clothing.
Now it had not occurred, so far, to
Prince to fall in love; but, looking up,
he beheld a face which, while regarding
him with concern, was so altogether
lovely tliat lie then and there lost his
heart.
" Honor, my dear, please lend Mr.
Wtnslow tliat blanket from the ham
mock; and, Prince, do hurry—there's
a good fellow! It you get your death,
the doctor will say that it was all my
fault—that I did not take immediate
precautions."
" I'll run to tha kitchen, auntie, and
get something hot for them to take,"
said Honor.
" Yes, do, dear;" and Princefoiiowed,
now quite willingly, to the house.
" I don't think it would hurt me to
walk home for another suit of clothes,"
he said; " but I will take a glass of Ja
maica ginger before I go," stalking up
the path, wrapped in a red blanket, lik •
an Indian. " She Is very pretty," in an
aside to Mrs. Dcnloigh, as Honor dis
appeared.
" Yes, charming!" nodded Mrs. Den
bigh, well pleased.
" So it's to be Amy. The accident has
settled the whole thing," she said to
herself.
Thus she took no pains to show off
Honor's graces, but henceforth Amy's
perfections were strenuously dwelt
upon.
1 do not know why Prince fell in with
this state of things, lie understood Mrs
Denbigh's mistnke very well. Perhaps
it was because something in Honor Sel
wyn's sweet, strong face made him fear
to dare his fate; and day by day he
hugged his secret.
Fortunately. Amy. young ar,d elastic,
recovered lntant!y from her cold water
plunge.
a here was week alter week of unex
ceptionable weather, and as Mrs. Den
bigh meant to make her nieces' stay as
enjoyable and attractive as pt ssibb,
rides, drives and sails followed each
other in merry succession. Other
young people were invited to the
Maples, adding to and enjoying the
holiday.
If Mrs. Denbigh had had more leisure
in which to observe the signs of the
times she might have discovered her
error in regard to Prince; but her duties
as hostess to so much company left her
little leisure to make investigations
The sisters were seldom far apart, and
seeing Prince generally near Amy. she
did net suspect that she bad jumped to
a hasty and wrong conclusion.
But this is not the mistake of my
story. I must go on to tell you that
bonny Prince Wlnslow, full of youth
and grace, but equally full of conflicting
hope and fear, came lightly up the
mnplc av< nuc, one morning, and found
the parlors and library deserted.
He hnd entered unannounced at the
open hall door, expecting, as usual, to
meet the ladies; but no one was
to be at en. and. passing on, he seated
himself in the little music-room, where
he knew Honor usually came at eleven
o'clock to practice.
He bad seated himself and carelessy
taken np a book, when he heard car
riage wheels grind the gravel of the
drive, and in a moment a servant
conducted n young gentleman into the
parlor.
Ills elegant appearance, and evident
eager anticipation of meeting someone,
instantly attracted Prince's attention.
A sudden fear hud come over him
when there wan a rustle of silk, a light
step, and Honor advanced into the
apartment.
"Ronald f she exclaimed.
The stranger sprang to meet her, re
ceived both her outstretched hands in
either of his, and then raised first the
one and then the other to his lips.
Prince could not sec Honor's face; but
the joy of tbe gentleman's there was no
mistaking.
" How is my dariingP Tell me," he
said.
Prince could play eavesdropper no,
longer. He advanced into the room.
•" i beg your pardon. Is Mrs. Dcn
loigh in?" he said.
Honor turned with a star,, but In
stinctively regained tier solf-possession.
" Auntie has gone to see a sick neigh
bor, Mr. Winslow. Let me in roduce
you to an old friend. Mr. Raleigh."
If poor Prince was almost speechless,
Mr. Ronald Raleigh was ease and vi
vacity itself. He seemed overflowing
with a happiness which, to Prince, at
least, was not contagious.
In a few minutes he bad turned hit
back upon tbe Maples, not to return.
It hnd been a brief, bright time; but
all a delusion. Honor could not cars
for him. Bbe was engaged to another,
and all bis love had been In vain.
Tbe dregs of his bright glass were
bitter enough; but Mrs. Deulcigb, div
or ruing half the truth—on observing
Raleigh closely, during the few days
Prince was invisible at bar house—rs
membered her duty, to call upon her
neighbor, Mr*. Wlnslow.
If she had had opportunity to tell
Prince what she believed, the would
have buildod better than she knew;
but Prinae, fast growing miianthropio,
bud put his gun over his shoulder and
started for the woods, to avoid her.
There he passed the long clay, while
Mrs. Denlefgh, after waiting long in
vain for his return, re-entered IK r pony
pliaeton, much vexed.
"This making matches is the most
trying work ! Why couldn't he have
fallen in love with Honorf" she said.
Meanwhile Honor, who knew the
truth, and ail the truth, was remember
ing distressfully that she was a woman
and that all advances must come from a
man. The time for their departure from
Red field was drawing near. Mr. Ral
eigh, at her suggestion, was un invited
guest at the Maples. And day after day
passed and Prince did not come near.
In fact, that young gent -man was
talking of a long-projected plan of his
for going to Europe At length Honor
heard of this.
" Mr. Wins low wiil not go abroad
without coming to see you, auntie, I
hope," she observed, one day.
" I shall be very much offended if he
docs," remarked Mrs. Dcnlcigh, prompt
ly-
Pitying Prince, whom she sincerely
liked, and partly blaming herself for the
sorrow that had come upon him, she
soon sent him a note, bidding him come
to the Maples. She wrote:
" Don't be a fooli-h boy. If you
knew what a noble girl Honor is, you
srould blush at your foolishness in
loving such a little goose as Amy. Rut
come to the Maples at once; I shall
never forgive you if you allow my nieces
to go hotne without your most courteous
farewell!"
Prince's brow ached with thought
and grief, and he did not make much of
this letter. He recognised Mrs. I>en
leigh'sold error, however, that he loved
Amy.
" 1 will not be rude, and offend all my
friends," he said, screwed up his cour
age to the sticking-point, and went to
the Maples.
It chanced that he again crossed the
familiar portal unannounced, and found
the reception-rooms unoccupied. But
in the same moment there was a light
I footstep, the rustle of silks, and Honor,
bright aud beautiful, looked up in bis
face.
" I t! ought—l was afraid you were
not coming again," she said, softly.
He stood holding her delicate hand ;
lie could not speas for a moment.
"Honor," he said, at Inst, " I forced
myself to come here t--day. It wna
hard to see you again."
" Why*" she asked.
There was something strangely gentle
and yielding in the soft brown eyes,
and in spite of that troublesome mis
take, tbey stood so near together she
oould feel the heavy beating of his
heart.
" Becnuse," be said, unconscious re
proach in his blue eyes," I love you;
and—and I saw jour meeting with Mr.
Raleigh."
Honor had b*en unusually pale. The
color came brightly now into her
smooth, olive cheeks, ss she turned and
pointed through the window at one of
the garden walks.
Amy and Mr. Ronald Raleigh were
strobing there.
" Yo i made a very natural mistake,"
she said, simply. " Will you let me tell
you how it isP"
He bowed, and they sV down side by
side.
" Amy and I have long lived with an
uncle and aunt who are not on good
terms with Mr. Raleigh's people. But
for this lie is not to blame, and is him
self unexceptional in character. For a
year past, he and Amy have loved each
other. Ronald, however, could never
visit her, and tb< y were both very un
happy, until I derided it to be right that
I should befriend Ko aid. For their
sake*. I first suggested this visit, that
they might meet here. Aunt Helen was
not in the plot; hot she knows bow it is
now, and has no objections to Mr.
R leigh. They will be married soon,
and I-"
" And youf" cried Prince, enraptured
with hope.
" And 1 love you!'' said dear Honor,
biding her blushes on his breast-
A lieges Prophecy.
It is well known that Mother Shipton
prophesied that the world to an end
would come in I*Bl. This forecast bss
not yet had a depreciating effect on real
estur and it is rather doubtful if the
most superstitious Detroiter would sell
anything any lew ou acconnt ol
it. Mother Shipton was a garrulous old
lady, whose manuscript is dated 1448.
Her book of local prophecies, which is
in the British museum, bears date 14441.
If. at that time, the line* were written,
that " Carriages without horses would
go," and that " through mountains men
shall ride," " iron swim ou the sea," the
book would be, indeed remarkable. But
these rrophetic phrases, together with
the 1881 prediction, ere all forgeries on
the old lady. In 1863, Charles Hindley,
of Brighton, England, published Mother
Shipton's book, in which he interpola
ted the lines referred to. The 1881
prophecy was taken from Piaxaa Smiths'
reading of the hieroglyphics in the
grand gallery of the Pyramid. Hindley
alter ward confessed his imposture pub
ltclv.—#Vee IVsss.
It Is estimated that the number o
killed and wounded in the sanguinary
straggle between Cblil and Peru,daring
the past two years, would almost 111 a
ons-horse street car. Wsr is a terrible
thing.— Nortietotm Herald.
TIMELY TUPICB.
A great steamer is to he built for
travel between New York and Boston.
It will be iron and la supposed to be
unsinkable. The fire cannot get at the
wood-work and the water cannot get a
the engine fires in case of accident. In
fnct, the new atcamer will be a Sound
atcamcr in every sense of the word.
Tl c life of h submarine tolchrnpli cable
is shown by experience to be from ten
to twelve years. If a cable breaks in
deep water after it is ten years of age,
it cannot be lifted for repairs, as it will
break of its own weight—a fatal diffi
culty, and for which there seems to be
no practicable remedy.
The manufacture of cheap candies
from white earth, or terra alba, mixed
with n little sugar and glucose, is car
ried on extensively in New York. A
census taker who investigated the con
fectionery business reports that seventy
five per cent, of some candies is com
posed of these substances and some
can iy, notably "gum drops," contain
still less sugar.
From a lately published Biue Book in
England it appears that between Janu
ary, 1873, and May, 1880, more thai two
thousand ships belonging to the British
mercantjle fervioe have been reported
as foundered or missing, and therefore
it is evident that the sea still has Its
perils against which foresight or rare
can scarcely insure safety.
Tbe average heat and cold varies but
little from year to year. Tbe average
of tbe highest daily record in l*7W was
sixty-one and a half, and in 1879 was
fifty-eight and three-quarters, which
shows an extreme of the change within
live years. Ttie average of the lowest
daily record for the yenr 1879 was forty
four and one-eighth, and for 197 m forty
six and one-quarter, representing the
extremes on that side.
Tall, spare and sinewy, Mr. Whltlicr
looks no older than he did ten years ago.
His dark, unquenchable old eyes, snys
I In- Boston correspondent of the Provi
dence /Vcm, twinkle and glisten with
the brightness ot youth. Perhaps you
tell Lima funny little siorv. and find it
funnier still as he draws down his lips
into a droll, insudabic whistle, and
shakes his shoulders, and the wise- head
under the solemn tall hat. with its
brim just a little wider for a sign of his
sect.
There are three thermometers in use
Fahrenheit's, Hcmunu-r's and the centi
grade. The three countries which use
Fahrenheit are England, Holland and
America, and the standard adopted
lixee the (roiling point of water ai 919
degrees and the freezing point at thirty
two degrees. Russia and Germany use
Rcaumer's, in which the boiling point
is eighty degrees above the freezing
point. Franor uses the centigrade ther
mometer, in which the boiling point is
counted one hundred degrees from the
freezing point.
It is always tbe correct thing to show
deference to public opinion. Ho John
Holland, of Castieford.t EngDnd,
thought and he acted on his ideas in this
respect. Public opinion was against
flogging with a cane in schools, so John
who was u teacher, abolished the rane
and substituted a sbillaleh of good
I blackthorn. Tbe pupiis didn't seem to
appreciate the difference, neither did
the parents, and the arromoda'ing Mr
Holland was fintd a couple of dollars
for flogging a boy too severely. John
now laments the capricioutnessof public
opinion.
A question that is greatly interesting
the French press is that of rrcmntion.
The pros and eons have been discussed
1 in all the Parisian newspapers, having
been suggested by the organization of a
society similar to that existing at Milan.
It is announced that before six months
have passed furnaces will be built and
all necessary arrangements be made for
tbe reduction into ashes of tbe great
number of dead who nppcar upon the
mortuary lists of that city. The Figaro
eomp.ains that Paris is now a great
bone yard, and that the crowding of the
cemeteries makes the establishment of
crematories an administrative necessity.
Notwithstanding England's enormous
indebtedness to ber mechanics, but one
mechanical workingman lias ever been
honored with a burial in Westminster
Abbey, and that was Grabnm, the clock
maker. Graham made exact astronomy
possible by hta great improvements in
lime-pieces. He invented the dead
l>eat escapement and tbe girdimn com
pensating pendulum, and he was the
first to make clocks that would run for
many days without winding. Graham
was also a maker ot great quadrants
and instruments of that sort. Ilia
funeral was attended by all tbe mem
bers of the Royal Society.
A Ssn Francisco exchange gives, for
the benefit of young gentleman to whom
cigarettes are dear, the way in which
man vof t hem are prepared: Tbe dili
gent Chinamen have divided the beats
of this city among themselves, and at
early morning when tbe spittoons are
cleaned out are always on hand. The
eigar stumps are carefully gathered by
them, brought to tbciroellarm. dried and
sorted. A portion are placed in a tub
of water, and in this tub the Chinaman
stamps out tbe juice for tbe purpose of
dyeing tbe papers of the chocolate
oolored cigan-ue- Tbe other portion is
nsed for the fl lag. Now. boye. moke
your olgaretu • and be happy.
The general belief is that there are In
Utah a great many more women than
men. The census returns from that
Territory show that this is not the esse.
Of a total population of 143,907, it ap
pears 74,471 are males and A9,43f females;
excess of mules, ft 035. Of the whole
number of people, 'J9.974 arc native born
and 43 033 foreign; 14.1,381 are whites,
304 negroes, 501 Chinese, 804 Indians
and ball-breeds, and seventeen East
Indians and baif-brc3ds. Of the most
populous counties, Halt Lake. 16,099
males and 15 870 females; Utah, 8 074
males and 8.044 lemahs; Cache, A 971
males and 0,900 females; Weber, 0,630
males and A,058 females. The Chinese
arc located principally in the counties of
Box Elder and Ball Lake.
There was wmc rough wreckage dur
ing the year 1880. The total estimate of
loss by wreck to all nationalities isfOH,.
397,000; a pretty high figure for one
year. This, of course, includes both
cargoes and vessels. Great Britain's
share was $47,406,000, considerably over
half the entire nmeunt. This may be
some consolation to the gentlemen who
n .< nt the decline of the American ship
ping. All this loss was comprised in a
I grand total of 1,580 wrecked vessels, a
dwr<a*e of eight over 1879. Of this
number 913 belonged to English owners.
I'll' 1 /asts of the British Isles were, as
Usual, very destructive, having to an
swer for no less than 480 wrecks of ves
sels of all nationalities. The loss oj
human life amount* d to about 4,000
souls. Aliout 9,000 vessels were lost
through collision.
The timber lands of Washington Ter
ritory cover 90,000,000 acres bordering
< n I'uget sound and are traversed by
fine Joggingstreams. The timber, princi
pally pine and fir, is equal to any, the
soil from which it springs being of
great depth and richness, and kept moist
by a rain-fall which continues for ten
i months ol the year. One stick hewn
was 194 feet long, squaring twelve
inches at the smallest end, and without
| sap. The average height of trees is 900
feet,while many stand 300 feet tail, mras
suring twelve feet through at the butt
j This Territory has n'so ll,nno,ono acres
;of grazing prairie, where a nutritious
buncu-grasi keeps green five-sixths ol
the yar, and 5,000,000 acre* of wheat
lands, which yields from thirty to eighty
bushels per ac re. The catch of salmon
last year WHS 40.000,000 pounds.
terioos Bills.
A fore ign review of n new book en
titled "Curiosities of the Search Room;
a Collection of Serious and Whimsical
Wills." writes as follows: A certain Dr.
Kllerby bequeaths his heart to one
frind, hi 3 lungs to another and his
brains to a third, declaring that if tbey
do not execute his wishes with regard
to them he will come and torment their
" if it should be by any means possible."
Another testator, an American, re
quires that his skin may be converted
into two drumheads, upon which are to
be inscribed Pope's Universal Prayer
and the Declaration of Independence;
another American, a New Yorker, leaves
seventy-one pair of trousers, to be sold
to the highest bidder witnout examina
tion. no purchaser being allowed to buy
more than one pair. In each pair was
found a bundle of bank notes represent
ing a thousand dollars. A Frenchman
institutes an annual race with pigs, to
he ridden by boys or men, with a prize
J eighty pounds to the winner.
A Baptist minister who died last year
declares in Lis wiil that lie thirsts to see
the Church of England brought down,
and desires ail posterity to know that he
believes " infant sprinkling to be from
his Satanic majesty."
One man bequeathed his body to the
Imperial gas company to be consumed
to ashes in one of their retorts, and a
New York spinster desired to employ
all her money in building a church, but
stipulated that her remains should be
mixed up in the mortar used for fixing
the first stone.
Some of the bequests in what the com
piler calls "Vindictive Wilis" have in
them a touch of humor. Thus the
Fifth Earl of Pembroke writes: " I be
queath to Thomai May, whose nose I
did break at a masquerade, five sbil
lings. My intention bad been to give
more, but all who have seen his ' His
tory of Parliament' will consider that
even this sum is too large;" and a cer
ain Dr. Dunlap bequeaths to bis
brother-in-law Christopher his best
pipe, out of gratitude that he married
"my sister Maggie, whom no man of
taste would have taken," and to his
eldest sister, Joan, his five acre field,
"to console her for being married to a
man ahe was obliged to henpeck-"
Wooden bhee*.
One of the most striking sights that
take the attention of the traveler in
Japnn, is that of the wooden sandals j
worn by tbe thirty-five m'llions of'
people. Flies' ssndnls have a separate I
compartment for the great toe, and '
make a clacking noise on the street.
Straw slippers are also worn, and a
traveler starting out on a journey will
s'rap a supply of them cn bis back, that
he may put on n new pair yvhen the old
is worn out. Tbey cost but a cent and
a-half a pair. Tbey are rights and lefts,
and leave the foot free to tbe air—we
never see those deformities of the foot la
Japan which are so frequent in this
country. They are never worn in the
house, being left outside the door; pass
ing down street, you see long rows of
them at the doors, old and new, large sad
small. It is surprising to see how
rapidly the Japs stop out of tbem, and
pick them up again with their feet, when
eaving the house.
Goliah wss the first person who wore
• bung on his forehead.
Will.
Thcrti ut no chance, no destiny, nor late,
Can eirnimivftut or hindsr or oonlrol
The Arm resolve of a determined sool.
<iJU aonnt lor noOiing-, will alona is groat,
All thing* giro way before it, ao on or lata.
What obstacle oan slay the mighty foroa
Ol the *ea-sesbing river in its course,
Or cauee the ascending orb of day to wait?
Knob will-born eouJ mr. r. <n wiat it deserves
Let the fool prate of lock. Jhe fortunate
I* he whose earnest purpose never ewer vaa
Wboee slightest anion or inaction aarvea
the one great aim.
Why even death atanda atiil
And viKit. an hour aometimoa lor such a will '
Ell* Wkttler.
HUHOBOCN.
A slight of hand performance —Giving
the mitten lo a suitor.
A japer in New York is called tbj
Wheel. It ought to circulate.
The sign "Beware of Dog" in stuck
up that he who revls may run.
Some men's noses are like seme hooks,
the more immoral they ar-, the more red
they are.
"A little learning is a dangerous
thing." So is a little dyna.mil v. — Some
Sentinel.
A eat in a strange garret is not half
so much frightened as a bachelor at a
yewing society.
Never call a woman "Birdie" who
has kept your dinner waiting' for three
mortal hours.
Why do girls kiss each other whi>
men do not f Because girls have notb
ing better to kins, and the men have,
t he vanity ol Ihslemale MI,
Many a good man'* loruine wrack*!
No matter what the time ot the year!
Woman's woman, and ever dear!
J'kiladr'pkia Item.
The tobacco cbewer will find that by
throwing away his old plugs he'll sooa
be able to buy a new tint.— BuMnond
Baton-
The difference between St. -lulien and
the stars and stripes, is that one is a
fleet nag and the other a neat flag.—
Marathon Independent.
In the neighborhood of Savannati
oysters grow in riotous abundance, and
are often so prolific in one spot as to
aggregate into bunches weighing 100
I pounds.
J " Well, miss," said a gnight of the
birch-rod, "can you decline a kissP"
Yes. sir,'" said the girl, dropping a
perplexed courtesy. " I can. but I
Late to most plagui.y."
Nauticai.—Husband (jokingly)—"Ob,
I'm the mainstay of the fvmily." Wife
—"Tcs, and the jib-boom and the—
and the—" Smati boy (from experience)
—" And the spanker, too, mamma."
[Applause.]
A wrsnova.
fie held one aide and she the other;
W hat did he wish T I could not tell;
lie pulled, she polled, and tbea ber mother
Came in; perchance 'lwas )u*tae well.
For alter it wa* paaeed be told me
He wish, a wka 1 should not name
1 wa* lor a ki; a bird sang near me
An 1 told me ber*; it wa* the aame.
Ut ited States Senator-elect Miller, of
Call ornia, iort an eye while command
ing a brigade of Union volunteers at
I'ibc t (Jap. Tennessee, during Rosen
cran's advance from Mum'res bo ro to
Chattanooga.
" Etiquette " writes to us to inquire if
in our opinion it would be proper for
him to support a young lady if she was
takn with a faint—even if Le hadn'
been introduced. Proper, young man
certainly-prop her, by all means.—
Cleveland Sun.
A young student was asked by bis
sweetheart, who had an uncommonly
thick bead of hair, what be thought of
it, and absently answered be thought it
would present a fine field for the study
of natuial history. They were never
married.— Andrews' Bataar.
" Is your wife a Democrat or a Repub
lican?" asked one Rock'ard citizen
of another in a store this morning.
" She's neither," was the prompt re
sponse, and then glancing cautiously
around and sinking his voice to a hoarse
whisper be explained: " She's a Home
Ruler."— Rockland Courier.
A gentlemen was complaining on
change that be had inverted a rather
large sum of tnrnry in Wall street and
lost it all. A sympathizing friend
asked him whether he had been a bull
or hear. To which he replied t
"Neither. I was a jack ass ("—'"Aicoyo
Tribune.
Some give their gold and silver.
because the - love to give;
Some give it lor the glory
They sorely will receive
Some give their hard earned doJlai>
With a pare and (net in test;
Bat the most give op their money
For s paltry too percent.
—MembenetUr Herald.
A small boy went out the other day.
There was no snow on the ground, no
ice; there was no river, brook, pool or
water of any kind within a mile. The
boy bad on nice new rubber boots that
came above bis knean He was gone only
fire minutes. When he came into the
house his feet were perfectly dry. litis
the only case of lbs kind cn rsoord.
It was on n railroad train, and polities
had given way So theology, and Ike
voting man with n turban hat had lbs
floor, and was denouncing lbs old
fashioned idea of boll. "I (all you,* 1
he cried, " man was ntrvss intended lor
such sftesdlsh pantshmeat. Qodnovar
made me for kindUag wood " M Bsoki a
not," said the old pawon. back near the
stone; "toogreen."