Centre Democrat. (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, July 29, 1880, Image 3

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    Some Summer Selections Summarised,
Summer timo will oouie again
With its softly blowing zephyrs,
1 .owing kino are in tho Holds;
Some are sows and somo nro heifers.
Tennyson, when very young.
1 allien now have shod thoir fragrance;
Snowballs, too, as round as bullets,
Cackling towlsaro in tho barnyard;
Seme arc hens and sumo are pullets,
Yaxvcoh Stratus.
Summer winds wait o'er tho meadow,
Azure skies and perfumes erect ns;
Come the songs ol winged birdlings;
Some are flios and somo are 'shooters.
—Boston Times.
Fail will come with poaches luscious;
Songsters sweet on all tho twigs,
Through the Holds the swine are roaming;
Some are hogs and some nro pigs.
Icy winter will appear,
With its Hooey Hakes and mittens,
Felines are there in tho house;
Some arc cats and some are kittens.
—Rome Sentinel.
Seasons all have their attractions,
Seasons' fruits all have their juices,
All the seasons havo their poets;
Rome are goeso, and somo are gooses.
lVitl Lux.
Winter with its bracing weather,
Autumn makes all creatures glad;
•Spring time bring. its would-be poets,
Summer good and summer laid.
—Boston Journal of Commerce.
Some where about the year 1701 one
might have found half-hidden among
trees in the magnificent park at
Versailles, a tiny cottage of Swiss archi
tecture. Had any French peasant been
asked the question as to who owned this
fanciful dwelling, the reply would have
been given, " That is the dairy of Dame
And. as the reader may at once sur
mise, this D.ime Capet was no less a
personage than the lovely but unfortu
nate queen, Marie Antoinette.
Here, cnc summer afternoon long
ago, was assembled a group of women,
whom by their rustic attire you would
have called peasant-girls, were it not
for the indescribable high-bred air
about their words and actions.
The room in which they were gath
ered was large and sunny, the floor was
Ol black-wa.nut —highly polished—and
here and there were tables covered with
thin slabs of marble, upon which were
placed silver and porcelain pans, con
taining creamy white milk from the
sleek cows browsing outside the dwell
One lieautiful young girl, whose fair
complexion showed in line contrast to
her blue dres-. was skimming the cream,
while three other ladies—one. plump
and rosy, the other, tall, thin and angu
lar, and the third, petite and piquante—
stood, with elbows resting on the mar
ble slabs, watching her.
These four were respectively, Eliza
beth. the king's <aster, Madame Cainpan,
the Duchess de Polignnc, and the Prin
cess I>ambella.
But in this little dairy cottage all titles
were laid aside.
Another group was gathered at the
table by the window. Here the queen,
a graceful woman, with merry face and
rich brown hair, wearing a costume of
blue and russet, was molding the golden
butter into balls, each stamped with a
rose, or some other design oi flower cr
Scarcely had she finished the last yel
low pat ere there was a noise of foot
steps at the vincarehed doorway. The
ladies glanced up and welcomed with
silvery laughter and gay words the
party of gentlemen, who now entered
in rustic costume, bearing loose blouses,
and with ru-tic ribbons upon their
"Welcome all!" cried tho queen,
gayiy, brandishing her butter ladle.
" All save Monsieur de she
added, in an aside to a young girl who
stoon near her.
The person whom she addressed was,
as we have said, young, and. besides
this, she was extremely beautiful, with
perfect features, delicate rink-Hnd-penrl
oomp.exion. large, soft, Dlue eyes, and
with masses of shining, bronze-brown
hair, half concealed by a coquettish
little iace-eap adorned with crimson
ribbons. He dress was n black delaine
ooped over a quilted, crimson petticoat
so short that it displayed a pair of
dainty feet encased in tiny slippers,
with high heels and gay, crimson
rosettes. Her bine eyes flashed, and
she said, in low tones:
" Yes. your majesty —I mean Dame
Capet— Monsieur de I>nnier is never wel
comed by me, Louis d'Argent."
" You did right to reftise him, eherie.
No one could endure such a bear for a
husband," said the queen, glancing
toward a tali, gaunt man, whose thin,
fiercely compressed lips, thick, bristling
eyebrows and fierce, deep set eyes made
his fare a most unprepossing one.
"But what strange creature has he
with him?" exclaimed the queen, her
bright eyes widening with astonish
ment. And then, curiosity overcoming
dislike, she call dout: " Pray, Monsieur
de what rara avis brings you
Advancing with a flourish and a
smirk. De Lanier said:
" This is ro bird, your high—Dame
Capet; it is a grasshopper, Monsieur
Santerelle," pointing with mock gravity
toward a little creature, scarcely four
feet in height, who. besides being so
diminutive in stature, was also strangely
deformed, having a large head set on
humped shoulders, nnd with long, thin
arms and legs. His face was small,
wizen and yellow, with irregular fca.
lures. The only thing not repulsive
were his eyes; these were large, brown
and mild, with that look of dumb en
treaty aiiout them that one often sees in
the eyes of animals.
His costume consisted of waistcoat and
knee-breeches of pale, pea-green velvet,
long silk stockings, high-heeled slippers,
together with a jaunty hat and light,
airy cloak of mingled green and brown
tissue, completed his attire.
Truiy, from bis entire appearance, he
well deserved the French name of grass
hopper—thai is, " le snnterelle."
During the time of Louis XIV., and
even down to other reigns, there was a
rage amongst the nobility for dwarfs.
Tli" Ugliest and moat deformed creatures
were eagcrlv sought after and retained
as pages.
• Le Santerelle is quite a juggler,'
continued De Liolcr; " and If y our mn
jcsty would desire it. I will order him
to perform some of his feats."
"Pray, do," said the queen "But
let us go out and sit beneath the shade
of the trees."
Merrily chatting the party of ladies
and gentlemen left lite neat tittle dairy.
When ail were sealed on the violet
dotted grass Monsieur do Lanier gavo-
Le Snnterelle. a sign, whereupon the lat
ter began a [series of most wonderful
He causedmysterious eggs to sudden
ly appear in the grass; he swallowed
poinard after poinard; he produced
yards'of gayly-eolored ribbon trom his
hat; he caused six white mice, with
pink eyes, to jump out of the pocket of
the Duchess do Pollgnae, so startling
that haughty dame that she quite forgot
her dignity, and acted like a scared
And, last of all, he nearly sent every
one into convulsions by his gymnastic
performances. Ho hopped, leaped,
rolled, and distorted face and form into
'.he most grotesque shape.
Shrieks of laughter rang out at every
new effort.
"That is enough," said the queen,
rising at last, while tears of merriment
were rolling down her lovely face. "I
can laugh no more. Monsieur do La
nior, we are much indebted to you.
Come, Louis, let us take a stroll among
the trees before the sun sets and the
dews fall;" and she and her husband
sauntered away.
Scarcely had the two royal person
ages left the group ere De Lanier said:
" Come Le Santerelle, show us some
more. Give us something new. Prove
your agility as a monkey by leaping
over that aitch," pointing to a ravine
some six or eight feet in width, at the
bottom of which babbled a tiny stream
with a pebbly bed.
The dwarf hesitated.
"Indeed, master," he said, slowly,
"I would obey you if I could; but I
fear that this is beyond my power. I
cannot jump so far."
" Indeed he cannot," spoke out Louise
d'Argent. "It is asking too much of
the obliging little man. Besides there
are stores down there, and Monsieur le
Santerelle might severely injure him
self, to say nothing of soiling that pretty
costume. So pray. Monsieur de Lanier,
do not command him thus."
" And why should Mademoiselle
Ixiuise expect that I should heed any re
quest < f hers ? She scorns mine," said
Monsieur de Lanier, in a low, bitter
voice, and witli a look in his eyes that
made the young girl both frightened
and nngry. " No, he continued : " I/;
Santerelle must do as I command him,"
The poor little dwarf gave one look
of entreaty at his inexorable master
and then, smiling grarefully as ha saw
theTsympathy on the faces near him, he
threw aside his cloak, measured the
distance with his eyes, and then took
the leap.
The result was what might have been
There was a fall, and a sight of a
gruen body rolling down among the
stones and briers,
"Too bad," murmured the nobles.
"Stupid!" muttered l)e Lanier.
" Helas ! he's killed!" shrieked the
ladies, while Louise d'Argent exclaim
ed. with much indignation:
" It was a cruel—nay, a dastardly act
to compel the harnflcss little creature
totakealeap which has, perhaps, re
sulted fatally to him."
Seeing that Do Lanier made no effort
to ascertain the condition of the dwarf,
she herself descended into the ravine,
and raised the head of the poor little
man upon her knee.
He was not dead, but fainted from tiie
pain and loss of blood from a deep gash
in his forehead, where a jagged stone tiad
cut him. At tiiis moment the king and
queen, alaimcd by the shrieks, returned.
"What is the matter?" inquired Marie
Antoinette, anxiously.
Some one explained to her in low
tones, whereupon her majesty colored
with indignation, and,' turning to Dc
Izinirr, she said, in a voice of stern re
proof :
" Monsieur de I am sorry that
any gentleman of my court should have
acted so cowardly.
The king also administered a severe
rebuke, and then his majesty and the
queen went down to the little group
surrounding the dwnrf.
De Lanier flushed purple-red, and
then grew deadly pale, at the words of
his royal master and mistress; and as
they turned away his band rested on
his sword, ami he said, in threatening
tones, while a lurid light gleamed in his
cruel eyes:
" You have your day now —mine will
come by-and-byc. I shall livo to see
those haughty heads bow down to the
dust. And Liuise d'Argent, too —
COIM her bewitching beauty!" nnd so
saying he strode awny, and was soon
lost. in the shades of the forest.
• ••••••
Many events have taken place since
the ones last recorded. The sunshin' of
prosperity has changed to the storms of
adversity. All France is shaken with
the throes of a terrible agonv.
Paris, the beautiful, has changed into
a huge butcher shop—the streets ru
i *d with the blood of human beings.
Men have gone mad. Riot and rapine
have reared n goddess and worshiped
it under the nnmr of Reason.
Who does not shudder when recalling
that epoch known in history as the
" reign of terror?"
A Tew miles out of Paris there was. at
that time, a large grnystone rhatc.au. the
property of Monsieur de l^anier.
Its former owner had fallen a victim
to the guillotine, and the property of
the deceased had been bestowed upon De
Lanier as a gift from (lis friend, Robe
One dark, rainy night there sat in nn
apartment of the chateau a young cou
ple whose faces were full of misery and
One, the lady, we have met before.
It is Louise d'Argent. Her companion,
a young man of noble presence, is Eu
gene Bt. her betrothed.
Mademoiselle d'Argent is ns beautiful
as ever, although her face is pale and
wan with suffering. Her long black
mourning-robes shows that dentil has
wrested dear ones from her. Her father
and uncle have both perished in tho
That morning, while she and her be
trothed were just about starting for a
place of safety, they were seised by the
soldiers of De Isuifrre, and brought to
tbe residence of ttie latter.
For two hours tlmv have sat in this
apartment, every minute expecting to
be hurried away to Paris, there to meet
a bloody fate. Only one alternative is
given them; De l>snicr has promised
that if Louise will wed him, he will let
St. Leger go tree. Bat she prefers death
to such n bridegroom, and her lover
applauds her resolution.
So the two sit there with all comfort
gone save the deathless affection they
have for each other.
"This suspense is killing me," mur
mured Louise, pressing her hand to her
"Be patient, love," says Eugene, striv
ing to soothe her.
" Ilark! What is that?" she suddenly
Theio was a slight noise in the Wall
back of them. One of the beautifully
carved panels was shoved aside, and the
wizen face and grotesque form of a dwarf
" La Santerelle!" Louise exclaimed, in
" Hist!—yes, lady, 'tis I," he replied,
coming into the loom.
"And what do you here?" inquired
Ixmisc. after she had explained to Eu
gene whom this strange visitor was.
" I have come to aid you if 1 can, for
I have not forgotten your kind pity
when I was hurt at the Petite Trianon,"
and his eyes filled with tears of emo
"Grateful creature! And can you
really help us?" inquired Louise, grasp
ing his hand excitedly.
" I trust so, lady."
" But how can you get us out of this
prison-like apartment? The door is
locked, the windows barred. I see no
way of escape, unless it is, indeed, by
the passage through which you have
just come. I never suspected that the
panel could be moved."
Nor docs Monsieur de Lanier," said
the dwarf, with a comical grimace.
" He has only very recently come in
possession of this building, and knows
very little about it. I discovered this
secret passaage, and trust that it is the
very thing to help us. We had better
start at once, for Monsieur de lanier
intends to visit you soon, and when he
comes lie must find his prey missing."
" But what is your plan, my friend?"
inquired St. Jaeger.
"It is thi3," replied the dwarf. " You
and mademoiselle follow me through
this passage until we reach the door
which is in the wall of the wine-cellar,
and is so covered by vines as to be en
tirely concealed (font the outside. In
side this door you will remain while I
go back and assist Monsieur de lanicr
with his toilet, so that he will not sus
pect me. When dressed lie will repair
to your room. Discovering your ab
sence, he will at once cause a search to
be made. When vou are not found on
the grounds h i will conjecture that you
have taken to the highway, and then,
mounting horses, he and his servants
will scour away on a wild-goose chase.
After he is gone, 1 will repair to you,
and we will hie away in another direc
" But suppose Monsieur de Lanier
commands you to accompany him?"
aid St. L"ger.
"He will not do that —he will leave
me in charge of the chateau; for his
servants are new, and lie trusts none of
" And the horses?"
" There arc three which, with this ob
ject in view.l told Monsieur de lanier this
morning were disabled; so he will no
ask for them. They are sound and swift,
and will carry us to a place of safety."
"I have a friend at II who will
conceal us until wc have a chance to
leave the country," said Louise.
"Very well. But come; wo must he
go'mg. Mademoiselle, will you be so
kind as to give me your glove?'
The dwarf took it with a smile.
• • • • •
A half-hour later all was hustle and
confusion at the chatean.
Monsieur de Lanier strode hither and
thither, his dark, saturnine face full of
wrath. He cursed the servants one and
and declared that he would
slay with his own hand the person who
had aided in the escape of Mademoiselle
d'Arsent nnd her lover; for, as mny le
surmised, he had gone to the room in
which they had been confined, and
found it vacant.
He ordered thebuildingtobesearched
and the grounds surrounding it. This
was done, hut with no success, except
that just outside of one of tiie gates, and
on tfie road leading to the northeast, a
tiny gauntlet was found.
It was embroidered with the I)' A
rgent crest, and had doubtless been
■dropped by the lovely Ix)uise.
"Ha! This is something indeed. It
shows the way they have taken!" ex
claimed l>e Lanier, smiling grimly; and
he added : " Hurry, Batiste, with three
horses—you and /ean will accompany
me. Take your pistols, and if Mon
sieur St. Leger resist*, shoot him."
And, in a few minutes, three mounted
men dashed out of the gate and along
the rond.
A little later, three other horses gal
loped away in an opposite direction.
They bore Louise, Eugene and La San
For hours they dashed along in breath
less suspense, and then, as the distance
widened between them and the chateau,
their fears were lenacned, and, allowing
their horses' mad nil lop to subside
into a gentle trot, they began to con
" How fortunate it was that Do Lanier
chose the other road instead of this!"
said Louise.
la SanU relle chuckled.
" He selected the other road, lady, be
cause lie thought you had taken it. You
remember my asking you for your
glove? That was a ruse to deceive
him. I purposely dropped it in the
road so tiiat he would tuink you had
paa ed over the spot. But let us muke
haste, for the sky is becoming tinged
with red, and we must reach your
friend's bouse eve daybreak."
An hour later they were in a place of
safety. In a week they had set sail for
Louise felt no regret at leaving her
native land. The dcatli of her only
relatives and the trials through which
she had passed made Iter anxious to seek
a new country in which to found a home
with Eugene and la Santerclle. For
the latter accompanied them and lived
witli them unto a good old age, and
after he died his memory was ever cher
ished in the hearts of lauise and her
The company that has been experi
menting in Florida with palmetto for
paper-making purposes has met with
such gratifying success that they will
erect about twenty paper mills In vari
ous ports of the State where palmetto
trees grow in abundance, and where the
transportation facilities are good
Borne English paper manufacturers in
Canada have been so influenced by the
favorable reports concerning palmetto
that they have sent an agent to Florida
to ascertain what may be its intrinsic
At Ortonville, Minn., a hailstone fell
tlintjuat filled a pint bowl by itself. A
girl thirteen years old died of fright in
a thunder-storm there.
S'arm and Uardaa IVotaa.
Keep fighting the insect enemies.
Poor fences often make bad neigh
Exterminate weeds, briars and brnui
blcs, everywhere.
Alfalfa, or Lucerne, is California's
greatest forage and fodder plant.
Quicklime is destructive to worms,
slugs and the larvae of injurious in
The Farmers' Alliance of England is
credited with large influence in the late
elections there.
Now Orleans hits shipped to France
and Italy within a ycar2,400,000 gallons
of cotton-seed oil.
The annual tribute paid as rent to the
landed aristocracy of England by the
farmers is estimated at $500,000,000.
At a recent shearing at Caldwell
Prairie, Racine county, Ind., the heav
iest fleece shorn was twenty-seven
Nathan Stoweil, the originator of the
famous Evergreen sweet corn, is still
living at Burlington, N. J., nnd is
eighty-seven years of age.
Farmers who keep sheep should not
forget to dip the lnmbs in tobacco water
about three weeks after shearing to kill
the ticks.
Fowls are very fond of milk and
thrive well upon it. Sour milk will
bring better returns in eggs than in any
other way it can be fed.
The wheat crop of the world for 1879
shows a deficiency of 375,00*1,000 bush
els. Nearly 200,000,000 of this defi
ciency was in Europe alone.
The prospect is good for an unprece
dented wheat crop in all sections of the
republic where the grain is grown, in
both quantity and quality.
Three tablespoonluls of Ixmdon pur
ple, well mixed in a peck of plaster of
paris. will make a compound which is
sure death to the Colorado beetle.
During the past fiscal year, according
to official information obtained at
Washington, more settlers have occu
pied homesteads on the public lands
than in any former years.
Clean farming is the best under all
circumstances, and if adopted as a rule
<vi 11 tend largely toward preventing the
increase of chinch bugs and of all other
injurious insects.
It is said that one spoonful of coarse
powdered saltpeter to a pail of water
will destroy potatoe bugs, squash bugs
and other insects. For roses it is un
surpassed. For maggots that work at
the root of squash vines, pour about n
pint of the liquid on the root of each
vine as soon as the pests indicate them
BHOII.KD 'BKEFSTF.AK. —lf possible
have a nice icd of coals; put the steak
on a hot-buttered gridiron, let it remain
till nicely browned, turn, letting the
other side browr., also remove to plate,
taking care not tolosetliej uice; butter,
sprinkle with salt, and cover tightly;
serve hot. If the stenk is tough it may
be made more tender by pounding with
the edge of a plate.
EON S POACHED.—Set a stewpan on
top of stove, pour a pint or two of boil
ing water in, add two tcaspoonfuls salt,
drop eggs cart fully in ; when whites are
firm, draw off water, dip up, put a little
butter on each egg, and, if desired,
sprinkle with pepper.
F.FIFIS FRlED.—Break eggs into a dish,
hu'.ter a warm pour care
fully in. sprinkle with pepper and salt,
cover; when whites are firm take up.
or, if preferred, turn and fry the other
OMF.I.ETS.—Beat six eggs, stir in one
teacupful sweet milk and one-half tea
spoonful salt; butter omelet pan freely,
pour In, set over moderate fire, keen
raising edges; when firm and a rich
brown on the under side turn together
and lay doubled on the plate. The pan
should never be washed, but rubbed
with a woolen cloth.
Animal l'atlenre.
We have a little dog, one of those
beautiful creatures known as a King
Ctiarlcs, on which it was found neces
sary to perform a surgical operr* ! on.
With a heavy heart wc took the animal,
uuconscious of what was to ensue, to
the Royal Veterinary college, and were
fearful as to what might be the suffer
ings and its consequences. The opera
tion occupied a quarter of an hour, and,
though no doubt painful, was borne
with a wonderful degree of quietness
and patience.
For an hour or two afterward the
patient was rather dull, but recovered
iiis spirits and is as lively as ever. On
the remarkable degree of equanimity
often demonstrated by dogs under sur
gical treatment, the Isinctl, in a recent
number, makes the following remarks:
" We have often been struck with as
tonishment while witnessing the patient
submission of animals, especially dogs
and horses, to sutgical operations, and
to the surgical operations necessitated.
A case in point lias l>ecn brought under
our notice. A fine pointer bitch had a
large, hard, fibrous tumor on the breast,
with deep and far-reaching roots. The
operation for its removal was very skill
fully and eflTeetualiy executed by Mr.
George Fleming, veterinary surgeon of
the Second Life Guards. During the
operation the animal displayed an
amount of patience that would have
been creditable in a human hcir.g. Even
during the most painful part of the pro
ceeding. that of inserting sutures, she
never flinched. The same resignation
was displayed when the time for dress
ing the wound came around. The pa
tient received the surgeon with an air of
preparation, and even put herself into
position for being dressed.
In the ease of a similar operation of
another dog some years ago, strong re
sistance was offered to tho attempt to
give chloroform; hut the animal sub
milted to the surgical procedure as we
have described above. Such facts sub
mit of a partial explanation in the men
tal theory of pain, according to which
suffering that is not anticipated and
mentally apprehended Is not pain in the
acutcr sense of the word. But we should
be sorry to see this explanation carried
so far as to deprive our dumb fellowr
creatures of all credit for the submission
they show under surgical treatment. We
should go further, and say that they
are vastly more sensible than many
hunianfbeing.s in their estimate of the
medical profession, and have instinct
enough to see that even when pain is
inflcted on them, it is lor a good and
kind purpoas.— Ohambtrt' Journal.
There are 885 boys actively employed
as messengers by the twenty-four sta
tion* whlcu the American District Tele
graph company has in New York city.
How He was Bubdued.
It may be mat some of the married
folks who read the Companion will find
a lesson for a husband, and amusement
for the wife, in the following humorous
" My dear," said Mr. Bpoopendyke,
feeling up tiie chimney, " have you seen
my gold collar button?"
" I saw it the day you bought it," an
swered Mrs, Bpoopendyke, cheerily,
" and I thought it very pretty. Why
do you ask P"
"'Cause I've lost the measly tiling,"
responded Mr. Spot-;—sdyke, running
the broom handle up into the cornice
and shaking it as if it were a carpet.
" You don't suppose it is up there,
do you?" asked Mrs. Bpoopendyke.
" Where did you lsave it?"
" Left it in my shirt. Where do you
suppose I'd leave it—in the hash ?" and
Mr. Bpoopendyke tossed over the things
in his wife's writing-desk and looked
out of the window after it.
"Where did you leave your shirt?
asked Mrs. Bpoopendyke.
" Where did I leave my shirt? Where
do you suppose I lett it? Where docs a
man generally leave his shirt, Mrs
Spoopendyke? Think I left it in the
ferryboat" Got an idea I left it at
prayer-meeting, haven't you? Wefl, I
didn't. I left it off, Mrs. Spoopendyke
that's where I left it. I left it off.
Hear me?"
And Mr. Bpoopendyke pulled the
winter clothing out of the cedar chest
that hadn't been unlocked for a month.
"Where is the shirt now?" persisted
Mrs. Bpoopendyke.
" Where do you suppose it is? Wuere
do you irnagins it is? I'il tell you
where it is. Mrs. Spoopendyke; it's
Sonc to Bridgeport as a witness in a
tnd suit. Idea! Ask a man where his
shirt is! You know 1 haven't been out
of the room since I came home last
night and took it off."
And Mr. Spoopendyke sailed down
stairs and raked the fire out of the
kitchen range, but diu not find the
" Maybe you lost iton the way home,"
suggested Mrs. Spoopendyke, as her
husband eame up, hot and angry, and
began to pull a stuffed canary to
pieces, to see if the button had got in
"Oh, yes! Very likely! I stood up
against a tree and lost it. Then 1 hid
behind a fence so I wouldn't see it.
That's the way it was. If I only had
your head, Mrs. Spoopendyke, I'd turn
loose as a razor strop. I don't know
anything sharper than you are."
And Mr. Spoopendyke got up in a
chair and clutched a handful of dust off
the top of the wardrobe.
"It must have fallen out," mused
Mrs. Spoopendyke.
" Oh, it must, eh! It must have fallen
lout! Well. I declare, I never though
of that. My impression was that it
took a buggy and drove out, or a bal
loon and hoisted out." and Mr. Spoopen
dyke crawled behind the bureau and
commenced tearing up the carpet.
"And if it fell out it must be some
where near where be lett bis shirt.
Now he always throws his shirt on the
lounge, and the button is under that."
A moment's search established the
infallibility of Mrs. Spoopcndyke's
"Ob, yes! Found it, didn't you?"
panted Mr. Spoopendyke, as be bumped
bis bead against the bureau and finally
climbed to a perpendicular. " Perhaps
you'll fix my shirts so that it won't fall
out any more, and maybe you'll have
sense enough to mend that lounge, now
it has made so much trouble. If you
only tended to the bouse as I do to my
business, there'd never DO any difficulty
about losing a collar button."
"It wasn't my fault," began Mrs.
"Wasn't, eh? Have you found ttiat
coal bill you've been looking for since
" Yes."
" Have, eh! Now where did you put
it? Where did you find it?"
"In your overcoat pocket!"
Fatherly Advice.
l>on't buy what you don't want.
Don't spend all your salary whatever
it is.
Don't scold children or servants if
you want to get any good out of them.
Don't think swearing will make the
carpet fit the rooms in your new house.
Don't imaifine the world wouldn't go
on as usual if you slipped out of it to
Don't cut up your heavy clothing for
carpet rags; they may come handy next
Don't leave business affairs altogether
to clerks, or household affairs to ser
Don't expect other people to take a
joke in good part if you flare up for
Don't blati.e the maker if a number
six glove goes to pieces on a number
eight band.
Don't run in debt.
Don't try to suit all your relatives
when you name the baby; suit yourself
and stop there.
Don't think the world will call you
wise if you mnkc a tool of youself
through the telephone.
Don't imagine the harmony of the
solar system will be upset if there's a
wrinkle in the back of your new coat
Don't commit suicide if the girl you
want won't have you; she wouldn't
care a tig and you might be sorry too
Don't expect to do a thriving business
if you don't tell people through the pa
pers where you are nnd what you have
to soil. _____
Band-Showers In China.
Every year witnesses curious sand
showers in China when there is neither
cloud nor fog in the sky, but the sun is
scarcely visible, looking very much as
when seen through smoked glass. The
air is filled with a fine dust, entering
eyes, nostrils and mouth, and often
causing serious diseases of the eye. This
dust, or sand, as the people call it. pene
trate houses, reaching even apartments
which seem securely ciosed. It is sup
posed to come from the great desert of
(kibi, as the ssnd of the Sahara is
taken up by whirlwinds and carried
hundreds of miles away. The Chinese,
while sensible to the personal discom
fort arising from these showers, are re
signed to them from a conviotion that
they are a great help to agriculture.
They say that a year of numerous sand
showers la always a year ol great fer
tili' y. The annri probably imparts so DM
rnrioldng element* to the soil, and it
nkso tends to loosen the compact allu
vis 1 matter of the Chinese valleys. It is
possible that these showers may be
composed ot microscopic insects, like
similar showers which have been noticed
in the Atlantic ocean.
The king of dentists, as he calls him
self, is a Philadelphia curiosity. lie
wears a jeweled crown and gorgeous
robes, rides in a resplendent chariot,
and extracts teeth without charge.
While a glib-tonirued attendant sounds
his praises, the kin* takes out teeth for
all who apply, sometimes pushing them
out with the point of his sword. Then
he sells an aehc-destroyer at fifty cents
a bottle.
The preliminary workings for the
tunnel under the English channel,
uniting England and France, have had
the most satisfactory results. The pro
moters have sunk their shaft to the
stratum in which they propose to bore
the tunnel, and are now going to sink
another shaft, and lower all the ma
chinery for the bore. In eighteen
months they expect to have reached two
kilometers (about two and a quarter
miles) under the channel, and in three
or lour years to have completed the
Idaho Territory holds court at Boise.
where is located all the government
offices, and is the home of the United
States marshal. He goes to Lewiston,
400 miles dit-lant, twice a year to attend
district court, and also twice a year to
Malad for the same purpose, traveling &
distance of Wsmiles to reach there. To
simply attend the court* in the three
districts requires him to travel 3,700
miles. Hut to do all his official work
last year caused Mr. Chase to travel by
stages 9,000 miles.
The slang phrase "queer fish" lias
been realized in piscatorial form In
California. At Monterey some fisher
men nought it in a seine. It was a bout
nine inches long. The first half of the
fish was a mountain brook trout, hav
ing the eye, head, scales, spots and shape
of the fish. It had a pair of fins at tue
usual place behind the gills; an inch or
two back of this it suddenly changed
into a silver eel, the shape, color and
absence of scales being perfect. It will
probably find a resting place on the
shelves of the San Francisco Academy of
A German paper relates that at Bi
berich, recently, quite a crowd gathered
to witness the novel spectacle of a
drunken driver being taken home by bis
horse. The man was so intoxicated
that lie could scarcely stand, but the
faithful animal pushed him onward
with its head. Now and then the driver
attempted to turn into side streets,
but the horse seized him by the coat
with its teeth, and thus piloted him to
the stable. The horse had a great deal
of trouble with its master, but finally
got him home safe It is said that this
valuable animal has acted the good Sa
maritan for his master repeatedly be
An excellent instance of the way in
which the children in the average pub
lic school learn without learning is re
lated by liamtA i' Educational Monthly.
A teacher in one of our public schools
has been accustomed to require her
pupils to say: "The equator is an
imaginary line passing iaround the
earth." etc. It never occurred to her
that the boys and girls of tier school had
no idea what an imaginary line meant,
until one day a visitor asked them how
wide they thought the equator is. Seme
thought it was 5,000 miles wide, others
2,000 and others thought tbey could
jump over it. The visitor then asked
bow they thought ships got over it. One
pupil said he thought they got out and
drew them over, and another said he
had read that a canal had been dug
through it! "What is the name of this
canal r" was asked. " The Suez canal!"
was the answer.
On the road from Albuquerque to>
Silver City fNew Mexico) is Cook's
canon. In which the Apache Indians of
Victoria's band have been in the habit
of waylaying and slaughtering white
people attempting the passage. A pri
vate letter of recent aate from Silver
City says tl at 240 white settlers, miners
and mail carriers hav been butchered
and scalped in the canon by the
Apaches. A fortnight before the letter
was written the Indians killed a party
of eighteen persons and burned their
wagons. They also slew the driver and
throe passengers on the mail coach and
destroyed the vehicle. A detachment
of soldiers surprised five Apaches in the
canon a couple of days after that occur
rence, killed and, it is said, scalped
them. Among the Indians killed on
that occasion was the fifteen-year-old
son of the renowned chief Victoria.
The lad fought desperately as long as be
coul' if iand to strike. The people
of Silver City are greatly exercised
about the Apaches, who have made
mining in that vicinity extremely haz
A Teacher sf Packet-Picking.
Twenty years ago Chester established
a school in London, dedicated to the
devotees of Bt. Nicholas, and he speed
ily obtained many pupils. "Hie most
well-known and skillful pickpockets,
who iiave paid ths penalty of b-ing
caught, and those who were clever
enough to evade the clutches of the
of the law. have all been
molded according to the Chesterian
method. And when it is stated that
in twenty years Chester has been 'able
to amass a fortune of 50,000 pounds
sterling, the great importance and effi
cacy of his lessons will be thoroughly
appreciated.) His pupils, on leaving
his institution, were formed into bands
of ten. nnder the guidance of a "school
master," and it was under the aegis of
this cvor-watchful guardian that they
overran the earth. Two thirds of the
" profits" were faithfully and punctu
ally paid to the illustrious professor.
Chester demeaned himself but twice in
his career by "working" personally: it
wns at Paris, during the last two exhi
bitions. In 1878 he was arrested and
condemned to six months' imprison
ment; and. he was moreover, prohibit
ed from ever entering Prance again.
He haa>tnce disposed of the good-wlllof
his "business" to two of his nest purl Is
and retired to Birmingham, where be
has a great deal of property. Having
some very urgent affairs to settle in
Paris, be applied a few days ago, for
permission to pass a week in the Capi
tol, which baa been duly accorded him.
Hut as it was deemed un advisable to al ■
low a man of his eaprcity to roam
about the city without let orhindrance,
two police agents have been told off to
act as an escort of surveillance. Ches
ter isAsyears old and la the father of
ten children, whom he has educated In
a princely m inner, and he himself is
the master of se-cral languages.