The Brakeman Who Went ta Chnrch. To me comes uie oraxeman, and seat ing himself on the arm of the seat, says: •• f went to church yesterday." "YesP" I said, with that interested inflection that asks for more. " And what church did you attend?" •• Which do you guess?" he asked. "Some union mission church?" I hazarded. " Naw," lie said, " I don't like to run on these branch roads very much. I don't often go to church, and when I do, I want to run on the main line, where your run is regular and you go on a schedule time and don't nave to wait on connections. I don't like to run on a branch. Good enough, but I don't like it." " Episcopal?" I guessed. "Limited express," he said, "all pal ace cars and two dollars extra for a seat; fast time, and only stops at. the big stations. Nice line, but too ex haustive for a brakeman. All train men in uniform, conductor's punch and lantern silver plated, and no .rain boys allowed. Then the passengers are allowed to talk back at the conductor; and it makes them too free and easy. No. I couldn't stand the palace cars. Rich road, though. Don't often hear of a receiver being appointed for that line. Some mighty nice people travel on it, too." " Universalist?'' I guessed. " Broad gauge," said the brakeman, "docs too much complimentary busi ness. Everybody travels on a nass. Conductor doesn't gel a fare once in tifty miles. Stops at all flag stations, and won't run into anything but a union depot. No smoking car on the train Train orders are vague, though, and the trainmen don't get along well with the passengers. No, I don't go to the Universalist, though I know some awfully good men who run on that road." "Perhaps yu went to the Unitari ans?" "No, I didn't, but I might have done worse. That is a mighty good road, well ballasted with reason, though it runs through a region a little bit cold, and there is apt to be some ice and snow on the track, hut in case of acci dent there is no danger ol upsetting the stoves and being burnt up; and th< re's one good tiling about it, the neighbors are generally ready to come and help when you cm get into trouble. They like to have tilings nice and comfort able in this world, doing what they think is nbout right and taking their chances for the other. They don't seem to take much stock in being as miser able as you can here in the hope that you will be the happier for it there. They seem to think that a man's going to reap the same kind of crop that he plants, and that if he puts in a selfish, worthless kind of a lite on litis earth it ain't a-going to come out a very tine specimen in heaven. Seems to me some sense as well as poetry in that but I was raised an 'orthodox' and 'twouldn'tdo for me to be seen on that train or I might lose my place on the other line, as there's a good deal of competition between the two roads, and our folks are getting afraid of losing tiavel." " Presbyterian?" I asked. " Narrow gauge, eh?" said the brake man, " pretty track, straight as a rule; tunnel right through a mountain rather than go around it; spirit-level grade; passengers have to show their tickets before they get on the train. Migiity strict road, but the cars are a little nnr row; have to sit one in a scat and no room in the aisle to dance. Then there's no stop-over tickets allowed; got to go straight through to the station you're ticketed for, or you can't get on at all. When the car's full, no extra coaches; cars built at the shops to hold just so many and nobody else allowed on. But you don't often hear of an accident on this road. It's run right up to the rules." "Maybe you joined the free thinkers?" I said. "Scrub road," said ttie brakeman, " dirt road bd and no ballast; no time card and no train dispatcher. All trains run wild and every engineer makes bis own time, just as he pleases. Smoke if you wnnt to; kind of a go-as you-please road Too man v side trucks and every switch wide open all Lite time, with the switchman sound asleep and the target lamp dead out. Get on as you please ami get off when you want to. Don't have to show your tickets, and the conductor isn't expected to do anything but amuse tiie passen gers. No. sir, I was offered a pass, but f don't like the line. I don't like to travel on a line that has no terminus. Do you know, sir, I asked a division superintendent where that road run to, and lie said he hoped to die if he knew. I asked him if tiie general superinten dent could tell me, and he said he didn't believe they had a general su perintendent, and if they had he didn't know any more about the road than the passengers. I asked him who he reported to, and lie said ' nobody.' I asked a conductor who lie got his or ders from, and be said he didn't takp orders from any living man or dead ghost. And when I asked the engineer who he got his orders from, he said he'd like to see anybody give him or ders, he'd rua tiiat train to suit him self or he'd run it into the ditch. Now you see, sir, I'm a railroad man, and I don't care to run on a road tiiat makes no connections, runs nowhere and has nrf superintendent. It may be all right, but I g: railroaded too long to under stand it," " Did you try the Methodist?" I asked, " Now you're shouting," he said with some enthusiasm. "Nice road, eh® Fast time and plenty of passengers. Engines carry a power of steam, and don't you forget it; steam gauge show* ft hundred and enough all the time Lively road; when the conductor shouts 'all aboard,' you can hear him to the next station. Every train lamp shines like n headlight. Btop-over checks given on all throngli tickets; passengers drf> off tho train as often ft" they like, do the station two or three days and hop on the next revival train that potass thundering along. Good, whole-souled, companionable conductors; ain't a road in the country where the .passengers foci more at homo. No passes; every passenger pays full traffic rates for his ticket. Wesicyan house air brakes on all trains, too. Pretty safe road, but I didn't ride over it yesterday." " Maybe you went to the Congrega tional church?" I said "Popular road," said thehrakevnn, "an old rond, too; one of the very old est in this country. Good road-bed and comfortable cars. Well-managed roi d, too; directors don't interfere with di vision superintendents and train orders. Road's mighty popular, nut it's pretty independent, too. Sec, didn't one ol the division superintendents down East discontinue one of the oldest stations on tliis linn two or three years ago? But it's a mighty pleasant road to travel on. Always nas such a pleasant class of passengers." "Perhaps you tried the Baptist?" I guessed onoe more. "Ah, ha!'? said the brakeman, "she's a daisy, isn't sheP River road; beauti ful sweep around anything to keep close to the river, but it's all steel rail and rock ballast, single track all the way, and not aside track from the road house to the terminus. Takes a heap of water to run hor through; double tanks at every Station, and there isn't an en gine in ttie shops that can pull a pound or run a mile in less than two gauges. But it runs through a lovely country; these river roads always do; river on one side and hills on the other, and it's a steady olimh up the grade all the way till the run ends where the fountain head of the river begins. Yes. sir, I'll take the river road every time for a lovely trip; sure connections and good time, and no prairie dust hlowing in at the windows. And yesterday when the conductor came round for the tickets with a little basket punch, I didn't ask him to pass me. but I paid my fare like a little man—twenty-five cents for an hour's run, and a little concert by the passengers throwed in. I tell you; Pil grim, you take the river road when you want —" But just here the long whistle from the engine announced a station, and the brakeman hurried to the door, shouting: "Ziotisvllle? This train makes no stops between here and Indianapolis!" Burlington Hawkey e. Andrew Jackson's Vow. Shortly after the occupation of Pensa cola and the expulsion of the Spanish authorities from Florida by General Jackson. Mr. Edward Palfrey, an old citizen of New Orleans, now dead, wns wont to relate that while standing be hind tiie counter of the National hiurit, his attention was attracted to a gdMlp of military officers who entered the bank and inquired for the cashier. The chief of the parly wis a man gaunt, stern-featured, spare and wasted of tonu, but erect and tirm of carriage. The cashier having appeared, the chief introduced himself: "I am An drew Jackson, miyor-gcneral of the United States army, commanding the forces now occupying Pensacola. My Boldier* arc suffering greatly for the want of provisions, clothing and medi cines. Immediate relief is reouired, and I must have $20,000 to purchase them supplies. Here is my draft on the gov ernment. 1 desire to have it cashed. The cashier was appalled bv this de mand. There was no authority to honor this check. The courteous hut tirm manner and the prestige of the chieftain, however, restrained any such intimation from the cashier. Request ing the general and his staff to be seated, lie retired to the rear office of the presi dent, and communicated the appalling demand of the conqueror of Florida. The president was equally alarmed, and dispatched a messenger to convoke the directory. They quickly assembled, and the subject was referred to them. It should be borne in mind thnt at that time General Jackson was regarded with a great deal of bitterness and dis trust by a large political party in the country. He was looked upon as a dan gerous and assuring military chieftain who mennred the integrity and freedom of our civil institutions, and especially of such institutions as the great national bank. The directors of the branch bank here were doubtless somewhat per vaded witli this sentiment. Still the rules of the bank justified them in de clining to advance the fund required by General Jackson, and (he presiden was instructed to communicate this conclusion of the board. He did so with nil the suavity usual on such occasions. Tiien rising from his seat and ad vane ing to the counter, i ehind which the polite president stood, the old chief asked: "Do I understand you, sir, to say tiiat this bank, having the money of the United States in its vaults, declines to advance a sum sufficient to supply the immediate needs of 9,000 patriot soldiers whom 1 have left in the swamps of Florida exposed to fevers and starva tion P" With profound regret the rules must be observed. Whereupon, with flashing eye and that terrible nspect never to be forgot ten by any one who ever beheld Old Hickory in a rage, the general, rising high his gauntleted hand, brought it down with great force upon the counter, exclaiming, "By the Eternal! I will live to 6erve your rascally bank as I have the Spaniards in Florida, as equally enemies of the people and of liberty." With this fearful menace and vow he strode with Ids staff out of the bank. As lie emerged from the hank, the gen eral encountered two Irish-born citizens and merchants of New Orleans, who bad heard of the order of the bank, and had hastened to join the general, with offers to cash his draft and furnish all that he needed for his arm> .—Daily Stale*. Artificial Diamonds. Professor Maskelyne's positive state ment that the' method of producing dia monds chemically lias been discovered, does not admit of much doubt or dis cussion. He is, probably, the highest living authority on precious stones; and just as L-is dictum quashed the claim re cently preferred by Mr. McTcar, so does it now sustain the claim preferred by Mr. Hannay. Probably the diamonds produced by this ingenious Scotchman are of no ralue as gems—mere tiny scraps of crystallized carbon. But even in this form they will be of great value commercially, being as useful for gem rutting and polishing as natural dia monds. For a little while, therefore, the jewelers with diamonds in stock, the well-to-do folk who own diamond rings and necklaces, will not be dis turbed by the depreciation of their property upon their hands. In the long run, however, the depreciation is cer tain to co.us. If Mr. Hannav has dis covered the principle in accordance with which the transformation of carbon into diamonds is effected, the perfection of the process is inevitable. Willie the useful arts will renp gr gt benefit* from this triumph of modem alchemy, rp mance will suffer. For the children of the uext generation the story of ln dab's excursion into the valley of dia monds will have no charm!—Fkiladel ptiia Time*. It was a delicate piece of sarcasm n the boarder who sent his landlady a razor neatly inclosed in a handsome silk-lined case and labeled "butter knits." TIMELY TOPICS. In digging the Suez canal Egyptian workmen were forced to make liods of their backs, placing their hands behind them and clasping tiie left wrist with the rifcht hand. Boya under twelve years of age were made to do this It is hardly necessary to add that thousands perished upder such inhuman treat ment. A mine which has recently been pur chased in Denver, Col., for $05,000, was discovered by two children aged nine and ten years. They were "playing mine "at the time and had dug down four feet on tiie Little Chief, rear Ruby hill, drilling and blasting five feet more until a valuable body of ore was brought to light. Their father, who owned the claim, gave them $l,OOO each, and now lias sold his interest. It is proposed to build in certnin dis tricts ou tho western frontier of Kan sas churches made of sods. A few sucii already exist. The walls are of sods, the roofs are covered with sods, and the floors are of earth. A church can be built, in size about 96x30, for an outlay In money of only $lO, and this lias already been done in at least one instance. A wall of sods, if prop erly built, and protected, will last 100 years. Roofs of shingles and floors of wcod are greatly to be desired, but, of course, they add very much to the cost of a church. There is n district in Belgium where a chain of villages along the valley of the Geer torni a sort of immense street. The soil is clayey, but crossed at inter vals with chaik, which giyps tq straw raised there an exceptional strength, pliability and brilliancy. This district is the seat of the Belgian straw trade, in which some 40,000 persons are en gaged, who earn upward of sBoo,oet out Sandy, Geordie." No sooner said than done. Sandy at oner saw poor Rufus' • ond 1 lion, and flew at the lurcher—got him by the foreleg, when the lurcher turned to bite. On seeing Sandy, how ever, he was terror stricken, and', giving a most unearthiv "ell, bolted up the town with Sandy after him. The dog's master could never get him to pass through the town again. But, alas! poor Sandy soon came to his end. Love of broth led him Into the larder at the Star inn. The cook, finding him wal lowing in the broth, struck him with • wooden ladle, more to frighten than to hurt him; but his skull was fractured, and aftsr lingering for some day*, h* died, to the Inexpressible regret of all who knor him.