A ROMANTIC KTOItY.
A dispatch from Port Jervis, N. Y.,
to tlio New York Times, relates this:
Joseph Morse, of Stroudsburg, l'a.,
made $50,000 in 18o() ot of a con
tract on the Doloware, Lackuwana and
"Western railway, which was then con
structing. Ho removed to this place
and purchased a fine residence. His
family consisted of his wife and two
daughters. His wife's maiden name
was Cotlin. She was a me in her of a
prominent New Jersey family, and
had two younger sisters. Mr. Morse
gave both of his daughters a fine edu
cation. Frances was a graduate of
Seward institute, of Florida, this coun
ty, a school founded by the father of
the late Secretary Seward, and which
has always been conducted bv mem
bers of that family. Miss Morse was
a fine musician and linguist. Afh-r
returning home from school she henuv. •
a contributor to New York periodica! .
While at school, she, with her thought
less companions, inserted an advertise,
ment in a New York newspaper solie
iting correspondence with some gen
tlemen, with a view to matrimony.
The advertisrmcnt was answered by
F. I. •Jenks, of Boston. A corres
pondence was carried on between Mi--
Morse ami Jenks for sonic time, and
finally they became engaged without
ever having seen each other
Some time after the Morse family
came to Port Jervis, Mrs. Morse die 1.
ller.husband subsequently married
one of her sisters. In 1854, aft r
Frances returned from school, her be
trothed husband mime >a from Boston
to see her. She disliked him ns s-n
n.s she saw hint. 1 ler stepmother, how
ever, fancied the young man, ami
through her influence Frances wa- in
duced to reconsider a determinati n
* she had made to break off her engage
ment, and site and Jenks were mar
ried. They went to Boston. Mrs.
Jenks remained in that city only a
short time, as she and her hu.-han I
did not live happily together. .Jenks
came to Port Jervis subsequently ami
lived with his wife for six mouths,
when a separation was agreed upon
between them, and Jenks went away.
Meantime, Morse had squandered his
fortune. During a severe illne— about
this time Mrs. Jenks took as medicine
large quantities of opium. Wlieu she
recovered she accepted a position as
teacher in one of the New York schools.
It was there that she discovered that
she had acquired the opium habit.
She became such a slave to the habit
that she was compelled to give up her
situation in New York. In 185U her
stepmother died, and her father aft* r
ward married the reinniug one of the
three Coffin si-tors. Mrs. Jenks grad
ually obtained control of her appetite
for opium. In 18(54 her father took
the contract for building the Hawley
branch of the Erie railway and remov
ed from Port Jervis to Hawley. There
Mrs. Jenks married a man named Mc-
Kay, and the two removed to Connec
ticut. It docs not appear whether a
divorce was ever obtained in the first
marriage. McKay died a year or two
afterwards. Morse somewhat repaired
his fortune by the Hawley eontrni t,
and removed to St. Louis in
where he amassed a large fortune, and
where, it is said, he still resides. His
widowed daughter joined him in that
city, and by her accomplishments and
beauty, took a prominent place iu so
ciety.
llic Morses, in 18i8, spent the
summer at .Saratoga. The young will
ow captured a young Southerner nam
ed George 8. Henry, who was aiso
staying at the springs. She married
him, and they took up their rasidence
on his plantation near New Orleans.
They lived there happily for three
years, when Henrv died. After lie
died it was found that his affairs were
in such shape that his wife and child
would be left penniless. The chi'd
died soon afterwaeds, and Mrs. Henry
fell soon afterwards into her old opium
eating habit. Bhe came to New York
city. Friends aided her in securing
work on the press. The habit of
opium-eating grew on her, uml she
was finally compelled to cease writing.
She then engaged iu drem-making.
From that time her friends in this
place lost trace of her. A few days
ago it was announced in one of the
morning papers that Mrs. Henry had
died at No. 17 Clinton Place, and that
she had been so addicted to use of
opium that she required from four to
five ounces of Inuilanurn a day. This
unfortunate woman proved to he the
former society belle at Port Jervis,
Frances Morse.
HHE CAME DOWN.
A young lady gave her skating rink
experience as follows:
"You ought to have seen me," said
the vivacious young ladv to the min
ister. "I'd just got the sltntes on and
made a start, when down I came on
f
ray —
"Maggie 1" said her mother.
"What? O, it was too funny?
One skate went one way and the other
t'other way, and down I came on
my —"
"Margaret 1" reprovingly spoke her
father.
"Well, what? They scooter! from
under me and down 1 came on my—"
"Margaret?" yelled both the pa
rent*.
"On my little brother who had me
by the hand, and liked to have mash
ed him. Now what is the matter ?"
The girl's mother emerged from be
hind the coffee pot, a sigh of relief es
cajted from the minister, and the old
gentleman adroitly turned the conver
sation in a political channel.
(JKEATEHT WAI.K ON RECORD.
A COLORED MINUTER AT WASHING
TON TKLIJ) THE STORY.
Brother Bells, of the Colored Bethel
Congregation, a few nights since, at a
prayer meeting, took occasion, in the
course of an exhortation upon the du
ties of life, to fire a passing shot nt
the walking mania, now so prevalent,
and developed sonic facts in relation
to pedestrianism feats that seems hith
erto to have escaped notice, lie said :
" My beloved bredrcn and sisters,
dar is one ting I'm bound to say to
you hofo' I close do exercizes dis nit*',
and dat is, don't you lake no stock in
dis here walkin' business. Isd dem
white tramps men and wimmin, alone;
don't you spen' your money or your
prcshus time runnin' 'round arter
tlem ; and for do Lord's sake an' your
own, don't you try to make fools oh
yourselves by trying to do likewise.
You men will find plenty of exorcize
in attending to your work, and you
wiinmen etiuff to do ober your wash
tubs and nussin' your babies, instead
of trampin' roun'an' ronn' de sawdust,
day on and day off, jess to please a
passel oh fools and ruin your own
lielf. Besides, my beloved frens, all
de brnggiti' dey duz about dere long
walks, long times and what dey cull*
fi/./.ikle ondoorin-e ain't wuth shuck
when you comes to compare dem wid
one pufforinancc dat tuk place thou
sands of years ago, and de reason dey
don't mention it is heku-e none of desc
sportin' folks ober reads dere Bibles.
Well, I'll tell you what it waz, and
it's de greatest sportin' match, as dev
culls it, dat ever come off on de lace
oh dis ycarf. None of your hippy
drum bisue.-M henh. No, sab 1 No,
sah! Fair Ins l-au'-toc walkin', judge*
iippintcd, track measured, time kep',
aecordin' to *ie Hkrijiturs, an' a ree
kord made—yes, anil a rce-kord dat
can't lie denied, 'cause here it is—ves,
here it i-, in dis prcshus hook! Now,
je-s turn ober your Bibles, mv fren-,
and hsik at *le fifth chapter oh Gone
si*, twenty-jx-eond va-*, an' what lo
you fin'? Why you fin'dat 'Enoch —
walkid— wid —God! —(after he licgat
ted Mcefooxaly t three hundred—
yean*!' Three —hundred —years? Dar
war a walk for you! Jos shut your
eyes an' 'fleet on it! Tlir**- —hundred
—year*! Besides, de rcc-kord snvs
• lat when de ole man made dat match,
an' had dat chile ( who kep' on living
until he was nine hundred and sixtv
nine years old —mousiis good stuff in
dat family !) —I say, when de old man
made dat match, and had dis chile, he
was sixty-five years oh age, an' den
walked —thro*' —hundred years!
Talk 'bout yo' 'fixziklc otuloorinse'
arter dat! Talk 'bout vo* 'pluck'
and 'grit' arter dat! Why, de ole
man lias done laid out all oh dine
nowadays blowers as fiat as a dead
shad ! So much for di's ' strordinary
pufforninncc.' But dat ain't all oh it.
Di re's mo' yet. If you'll jess look nt
•le twenty-fo'rth va** oh <le same
chapter you will fin,! my beloved frens,
what a orful warning is in dnt va*s to
po' foolish creeturs who has de con
ceit to make sich onokcl match**. Did
any good come *b de ole man Enoch'*
walk? Did he make anrting outcn
it? No! my bredrenan'sister*. No!
no! He loses hy it —!** eberytiug
by it —nelwr 'pcar'd in de ring agin—
in fack, he ' went up.' J* read de
vuss : ' An' Euoeli—walked—w id
—God —an' —he —wuz —not' —(dat is,
he waru't nowhat) —'for —God—tuck
—him.' 'God tuck him!' To I*'
shuah lie tuck him! He was lmuiid
to be tuck ! He held out for a long
time, ile ole man did ; he was gnnie to
de last; he wuz doin' his level lie-t,
but Die Master wuz too long in de
stride, an' too sound in de wind for
liiin, an' tuck him on de last ronn*}.
Yes, my beloved frens, an' he'll take
anybody dat trie* dat game on him,
an h'ist him ' higher'n a kite,'jess a*
he slid Ole Boss Enoch. S> take
wnrniu' hy dis orful lesson ; let all ills
kind of foolish ties* aloue, an' 'tend to
yo' proper callin's like good Christ
shun*. An' now let us prriy !"
Seen** at Pike's Peak.
.Some curious natural phenomena are
witnessed from the summit of i'ike's
I'onk. Electric storms are so remark
able there thnt those who have wit
rii sscd them are eloquent a* to their
splendor. Little thunder nccompa
nic* them ; hut the whole mountain
seems to lie on fire, and the top one
sheet of flame. Electricity come* out
of every rock and dart* here and there
with indescribable radiance. An ob
server says that it played around him
continuously; shot down Jiis back,
glanced out at his feet, and so com
pletely filled him that he became
charged like a I/cydcn jar. lie could
not retain his foothold; he bounded
and rebounded from the rocks after
the manner of an india-rublier hall;
lie felt as though a powerful battery
were throbbing and thrilling through
his frame, ami, fearing consequences,
he hurried into the signal station. The
signal officers stationed at the peak
sec some wonderful sight*, and if they
had as much imagination and rhetoric
a* they have patience and power of
observation, they could furnish some
very vivid descriptions of what they
witness. Heveral men of science who
have watched electric storms from the
head of the mountain think the phe
nomena the grandest and most impos
ing, and that they can hardly be sur
passed anywhere. The peak com
mands a view of 100 miles radius, a
wild mountainous region, containing
many lukes, and tho sources of four
great rivers—the I Matte, Arkansas,
Ilio Grande, and Colorado of Cali
fornia.
NO COLOR-LINE IN HEAVEN.
Perhaps no sermon that was preach
ed Sunday, says the Ban Francisco
Alia, surpassed in fervor and eflective
nesss the late plea of Rev. Plato
Johnson to his congregation to lead a
goodly life. Ho said m'part: "Brud
ucru.thu lubobde Isird am a wonder
ful ting. Nobody would link dat a
pore old darkey's life was wufi* much
ennyhow ; but de script" r says dat dc
fust shall be last and vice vcrsy, and
dat is de chief hold wo lmh; for I
'elude from that savin' dat de cullud
pti.-.-ou wot shines boots and charge.-
only tbf regular price lues a tol'ldc
show fur tlie next world, tho' lie
hain't much ob a chance here. From
a Migious point of view it's jest as
'portant to shine boots well as to run
a fir.-t-ela-s saw-mill. I)e Lord he
tuber axes you wot you Is n doin',
but how you ben doin' it. An' when
you get to de judgment day, wane ob
you pore washerwomen who wasn't
j mean 'bout <le starch, but put plenty
o' it in ile clothes, will be fluttcrin'
o' ver w ings in Paradise while de white
man wat made you wait for vur
mutiny will be a lookin' an' a look
in' for a shady spot, an' a within' dat
he'd a bit ob ice. You knows wot I's
tiukin'je-t at this time? I's tinkin'
j dat some of dese white folks wot 'm
: agint* dat iley'll bull a feddcr bed in
I d<* n-x* world, an' free or four angels
! to keep de tlies off, v.ill fin' wen dev's
j lookin' rouu' fur der n.- rvtsl seat in
glory ilnt dey's got a i inder in ifere
. eye, an'eau't see it. llow'll vou feel
1 white man, wen yo' fin yo'self'm nig t
j a big crowd ob ornnry folks way tip
in tie family circle, while some imre
i darkey, who did your chore* like an
| honest man, is 'ducted by de hclx-nly
ushers to n orchestra seat, right down
rlu- t'i da mturio ? An' how'll you (• • 1
hrudder, when doe* ang< Is say to you.
" Tain t no matter what color you may,
j he, your uamis. been called anil we'*
j d'rictcd to show you a -eat on de plat
form.' Yer old black fa<-es 'II shitie
like de moon, and you'll feel likestrik
in' out wid dc dgbhlc shuffle right on
de golden pavement. 'Alemlicr, all ob
you, dat it ain't de pocket-book, nor
,do color, but de diajie ob de soul
wot gibs you a right to a front scat up
, vander."
HOW THE NECHOES AltE IMPEI).
Georgcouslv illuminateil chromo
lithographs of Kansas scenes have Iwcn
distributed among the hlaeks. A gen
tleman who has Moon some of these
i-hroiuos writes that the most ravishing
presentiment of rural life in Kansas is
depicted. The negroes look on the
. State as a second paradise, compared
with which old f'nnnan is a Florida
*wnmn. One of these pictures entitled
"A Freedman's Home," represent* n
fine landscajK', with fields of riju-ning
grain stretching away to the setting
sun.
In the foreground, illuminated by a
marvelous sunot, stmsl the freedman's
home. It wa a picturesque cottage,
with gables, dormer windows and wide
veranda-. French windows reached
down to the floor, nad through the
open casements ap|**red a seductive
scene in the family sitting room. The
colored father, who has just returned
from his hnrvest fields sat in an easy
chair reading a newspaper, while the
children and Imhies rollicked on the
floor of the piazza. Through the oj>en
door of the kitrhen the colored wife
could IK* seen directing the servants
and cook* who were preparing the
evening meal. In the parlor, how
; ever, was the most enchanting feature,
for at a grand piano was poi-ed the
lelle of the household and lto*tde the
piano where she was playing stood her
, coloreil lover devouring her with his
eyes while he abstractedly turned the
leaves of her music. Just to one side
of the dwelling ap|K*ared a commodi
ous barn and carriage house and work
men busily engaged iu putting in or
der their reapers and mowers for the
following day.
In one of these pictures the "Old
Auntie" sitson the veranda knitting
stockings while she gaze* on the herds
of hufTalo and anteloiK*, which an* feed
ing on the prairies beyond the wheat
fields. Approaching the gate a hand
-1 some young colored man is seen com
j ing in from a hunt, with a dead buck
and n string of wild turkeys slung over
his shoulders. These agricultural car
toons, in vivid coloring, the writer re
ports are doing much to influence the
minds of the more ignorant negroes.
Aw exchange says: "Arthur B.
Mann, local of the Coudcraport Jour
nal, recently sold his farm in Potter
county for 17,000,000." Only got
seven millions for his farm, eh ?
Newspaper men seldom haveanv luck.
We had a niggardly offer of six
millions for our farm in Bradford
county a few years ago, and have
the refusal of eight millions for our
summer palace and grounds at Chest
nut Hill, in Philadelphia county.
Because a man is connected with a
newspaper it is necessarily supposed
that lie is " hard up" for money and
will accept almost any trifle for his
property. — Norrirtoum Herald.
WHY is beefsteak' like newly-made
hay f Because the cat'll eat it-'
THE LATE MADAME HONAI'AKTE.
A correspondent of the Boston
'lrannrript writes : Since tho rooerit
death of Mine. Bonaparte calls forth
many incidents characteristic of tho
woman, perhaps it will interest your
readers to know of one or two of her
personal peculiarities. Bho was, as a
(Cirl, willful, high-spirited, beautiful
anil imperious. When I was a little
girl I remember hearing that she
boasted among her companions that
she would marry a Bonaparte, and
left her father's sick-room after a vio
lent quarrel, to go t<> Baltimore, meet
and capture him. She seemed t> me
a wonderful personage, because of the
romantic and trying incidents of her
life ; also, because of the great ambi
tions ami powers ascribed to her, her
sharp, cutting speech, her disdain of
women in general, and her great de
sire to place her family in high posi
tion iu Kurnpc.
She attended to her business, and as
I I lived oppo-itc her I could see her at
Ixr deck writing busily, then going
out with a green hag *tn\a the at
torneys carried. Bin- had grown very
1 stout, although tin* traces of her beauty
were left, in general, she dreasod
shabbily, eared for no one's opinion,
and seemed engrossed in the ac cumu
lation of money, going several time*
t< r.uropc to attend to her busine--
affair*. When occasion required, and
she chose, she would dress handsomely
and be the fascinating woman of old.
She had a beautiful hand and arm, of
which she was proud, ami which she
j lik< d to display.
After a busy day, about four in the
afternoon, lie would pay great atten
tion to li<-r hand , seemingly poli-hing
| and earing for them ; then would h •
sceud to the parlor and seat herself at
I the window, with baud and arm well
{displayed. And now, after so many
yearn (it is nearly thirty *. when 1
know that she lias passed away, I
think of her always in that position,
as the cold, haughty, proud woman
who lmre so much for ambition's sake
and whose dearest hope* were never
j realized. In chur< b I sat where I
could look directly uprn her son's face
■ and that of his beautiful wife.* He
bore a strong resemblance to the jsir
traits of Napoleon, and was an inter
esting study because of the resemblance.
He did not seem to inherit his mother's
force of character nor her ambition.
STATISTICS FOR HlltLS.
A young Fngli.-ii statistician who
' paying court to u young ladv, thought
to surprise her with hi- immense eru
dition. Producing bis note book, she
thought he was about to indite a love
sonnet, but was slightly taken aback
by the following question :
"Howmany mealsdoyoti eat a dav?"
"Why, three of course; but of all
the oddest questions—"
"Never mind, dear, I'll tell you all
about it in a moment."
His |>encil was rapidly at work. At
lost fondly clasping her slender waist:
"Now, mv dnrling, I've got it, and
if you wish to know how much ha*
passed through that adorable little
mouth in the la"t seventeen years I
1 can give you the exact figures."
"(soodnes*! Gracious: What can
voir mean ?"
"Now just listen," says he, "and you
will hear exactly what you have been
obliged to alnmrb to maintain those
charms which are to make the happi
ness."
"Don't you want to hear ?"
"Ah, you are surprised, no doubt,
but statistic* are wonderful things,
.lust listen: You are now seventeen
vears old, so that in fifteen years you
liave absorbed—oxen or calves, . r >;
sheep and lambs. 14: chickens, 327;
din ks, 2<>l ; geese, 12: turkey, 100;
games of various kinds, *24; fishes,
160; eggs, 3,120; vegetables, < hunch
es,) 700; fruit, baskets, 003; cheese,
103; bread, cake, etc., in sacks of
flour, 40; wine, barrels, 11 ; water,
j gallons, 3,000."
At this the maiden revolted, and,
jumping up. exclaimed;
"i think you are very impertinent
ami disgusting besides, ami I will not
stay to listen to you," upon which she
flew into the house.
He gaxed after her with an abstract
ed nir and left, saying to himself:
"If she kept talking at that rate
twelve hours out of twenty-four, her
jaws would in twenty years travel a
distance of 1,332.124 miles."
The maiden, within two months,
married a well-to-do grocer, who was
no statistician.
•MiTOP THE TAP."
Hir W||(r*4 la Nin t*-ntb CMtirf.
"Let roe conclude by relating what
occurred at a meeting in one of our
northern counties. It was a species of
tein|>eranec meeting, Three excellent
clergymen spoke. They harped on
the clastic and indefinite worn 'mod
eration, condemning intemperance, but
setting up Timothy as their model
man, morally and constitutionally;
lauding and magnifying sobriety, but
commending the temperate consump
tion of alcohol. When they had con
cluded, an elderly farmer rose and
said : 'l've heard that kind of talk for
tho last forty years, and I can't see
that people arc a bit more sober now
than when it commenced. It reminds
me of what 1 once saw take place at a
retreat for imbeciles. It U the cus
tom there, after the patieuta have been
in residence for a certain time, to put
them to a kind of a test to see whether
they arc fit to leave the asylum <Jr not.
They are taken to a trough full of wa
ter, with a small pipe continually run
ning into it istisl supplying it. They
nro given u ladle, ami told to empty it.
Tliey who have not regained their
sense* keep ladling away, while the
water flows in as fast as th<*y ladle it
out; hut them us isn't idiots stop the
tap.' "
A Poor (ilrl's Hair.
A young and jioorly clad girl en
tered a barber shop in Vienna, and
told the proprietor that " he must buy
her head." The friseur examined her
long, glossy chestnut locks and began
to bargain. He could give eight
florins, and no more. Hair was plenti
ful this year, the price had fallen,
there was less demand, ami other
phrases of the kind. The little maid
en's eyes filled with t<*ar-, and she
hesitated a moment while threading
her fingers through her chestnut locks.
Bh<* finally threw herself in a chair,
and said :
" Then take it quickly."
The barber, -ati-fnd with his bar
gain, was about to clinch it with his
•hears, when a gentleman, who sat
halfshaved looking on, told him to
stop
"My child," said lie, " why do you
| sell vour beautiful hair?"
" My mother has been nearly five
month- ill. 1 cannot work enough to
support us; everything has been sold
or pawned, and there i- not a penny
iu tlx* house."
" No, no, mv child; if that is the
' case I will buy your huir, ami give
• you one hundred florins (or it."
IB* gave the poor girl the note, the
sight of which dri<-d her tears, and he
t-'ok uji tlx- liarlsr's shears. Taking
the locks in his hand lie t'sik the long
est hair, cut it off and put it carefully
in hi- pocket hook, thus paying one
hundred florins for a single hair. He
took the p'*>r girl's address, in case he
{should want to buy another at the
same rate. lie is only d<signaled as
the chief of n great industrial enter
{ prise within the city.
Childhood, T outh and Manhood.
It is man's destiny still to IK* long
ing after something, and thus the grat
| > liration of '.i:c set of wishes but pre
pare* the unsatisfied soul fur the con
ception of another.
The child of a year old wants little
food and sleep; and no sooner is he
supplied with a sufficient supply of
cither of these thing**, than be iK*gins
whimpering or veiling, it may IK* for
the other.
At three, the voting urchin becomes
enamored of sugar plume, apple pie*
and confectionery.
At six, his imagination runs on kites,
marbles ami tops, aixl abundance of
playtime.
! At ten, the IKIV want* to leave school,
and have nothing to do but go bird
| uesling.
At fifteen, he wants a beard, and a
watch and a pair of boots.
At twenty, he wish** to cut a figure
and ride horse* ; sometimes his thirst
( for display breaks out iu dandyism,
ami sometimes in poctrv ; he wants
sadly to Is* in love, and takes it for
granted that all the ladies are dying
| for him.
The young man of twenty-five wants
a wife; and at thirty he longs to he
single again.
From thirty to forty he wants to IK*
rich, and thinks more of making nion
ey than spending it. Almut this time
he dabbles in jNilitics, and wants an
office.
At fifty he wants excellent dinners
ami considers a nap iu the afternoon
indispcnsible.
The respectable old gentleman of
•ixty wants to retire from businc**
with a smtg independence of three or
four thou-and, to marry his daughters
set up his sons, ami live in the coun
try ; and then, for the rest of his life,
lie wants to be young again.
Tin: SAUHATH. —We are more and
more sure, by experience, that the
reason fur the observance of the Bab
bath lies deep in the everlasting ne
cessities of human nature, and that as
long a- a man is man, the hicsscdnc**
of keeping it, not a a day of rest
only, hut as a day of spiritual rest,
will never be annulled. We certainly
feel by experience the eternal necessi
ty of the Babbath. The soul withers
| without it. It thrives in proportion
to its oliservancc. The Sabbath was
made for man. God mndc it for men
in a certain spiritual state, because
they need it, lhe need, therefore, is
deeply hidden in human nature, lie
who can dispense with it must IK*
holy and spiritual indeed. And he
who, still unholy and unspiritual,
would yet dispense with it, is a man
that would iaiu be wiser tliau his
Maker.
I* a late German story the hero
gives rhapsodical description of " the
first kiss ' in these ebullient words:
"Am I really dear to you* Sophia?"
I whispered, and pressed my burning
lip to her rosy mouth. She did not
say yes; she aid not say no; but she
returned my kiss, and my soul was
no longer in my body; I touched
the star*; the earth went from under
my feet." All of which is very pretty
and poetic, but very indefinite. What
the practical American reader wants
to know is, if that is the transcendant
German way of saying that he was at
that particular moment lifted by a
paternal boot-toe. — Louieville Courier
Journal,
A furl WIN ClrramNtancf.
A well-known lady of Alhanv, New
York, awoke from n sleep last Monday
and ul onere broke out into a (It of vio
lent weeping, which attracted the at
tention of all in the house. When
quieted, the enid that her husband,
long wince dead, had appeared to her
in a dream ami told her that her
daughter wan dying. This incident
was related to (tenon* in another part
of the eity, during the same day, and
before the ponton who told of it had
any knowledge of what in recited
hereafter. That the mother, who
knew that her daughter had Iteen for
some time sick, should become im
pressed with the idea that she was dy
ing was not singular, as that migfit
easily have resulted from apprehen
sions which had no doubt been enter
tained. The remarkable fact is this:
On the same day, and as near as can
be ns'< rLnined, at the exact time when
the mother was manifesting elislrews or
mind, the daughter roused herself in
a bed of sickness, in a house- on Ar
bor Hill, and said to her attendant,
"W by how ruy mother is crying!"
and a moment later, " Don't you hear
her cry?" The nurse heard nothing,
and was obliged to say so, although
the sic k woman repeatedly asserted
that her mother was crvitig, ami en
deavored to convince- the ijiir-o tliat
she? he-arel he-r. The young laely elied
00 Wednesday au<l was buried on
Saturday.—A>.
A Mujtiel IVltwte.
1 In- stupidity of some witnesses, ami
the- pe-rph xity occasioned by the "savs
1 ami "says la" are- thus illustrated:
In are eent trial at Winchester, a
witne-.ss failing to make his version of
a conversation intelligible by reason
of his fondness for "says he," was tak
en in hand by Baron Martin, with the
following re-ult:
"My man, tell us now exactly what
passe*!."
'ft a, my lorel; I said I would not
have the pig."
"And what was his answer?''
"He said he hail Ix-eti ke-e-jting it for
inc. ami that he —"
"No, no ; he could not have said
that; he* sjeoke in the first pe-rson."
"No, my lord, 1 was the first person
that sjxjke."
"I mean, don't bring in the third
person ; repeat his exact words."
"There was no third person, my
lord, only him ami me."
"My gcxxl fellow, he did not sav he
hod lx-e-u kex-ping the pig; he said 'I
have l*x-n keeping it.'"
"I assure you, my lord, there- was no
mention of your lordship at all. Wo
are: on elifTe-reut stories. There was
no thin! person there; and if anything
had be-e-n saiel alrnut your lordship, I
must have heard it."
The Baron gave in. ' •
One Ilrop of Ink.
"I don't w-e why you won't let mc
t'av with Will Hunt," |x>utoel Walter
[irk. "I know he does not always
mind his mother, and smoke# cigars,
and once in a while swe-ara just a lit
tle ; but I have been brought up bet
ter than that. He won't hurt mc,
ami should think vou would trust mo.
Pcrhana I <-nn do him some good."
"Walter," said his mother, "take
this glass of pure, cold water, and put
just one drop of ink into it."
" Oh, mother, who would hnvo
thought one drop would blacken a
glass so!"
" Yes, it has changed the rolor of
the whole, has it not ? It is a shame
to do that. Just jmt one drop of clear
water in. and restore its jniritv," said
Mrs. Kirk.
" Why, mother, you are laughing at
me. One drop, or a dozen, or fifty
won't do that.'
" No, my son ; and, therefore, I can
not allow one drop of Will Hunt's
evil nature to mingle with your care
ful training, many drops of which
will make no impression on him."
♦
Tm: shrewelest of men arc some
times taken in. Barn urn. wanting to
he shaved went into a barber shop.
The plaex- was pretty full of customers,
and anxious to save time, Barnum got
an Irishman to give him his turn on
eonnition that he paid for both. Next
day he found Bat had made the most
of the opportunity, the knight of the
razor presenting the following little
bill for payment: To one shave, 20
evnts: to one hsir-cutting, 20 rents;
to one shampooing. 50 cents; to ono
hair dyeing. $1 ; to one bottle hair dye,
$1 ; to one bath, 75 cents; total, fd.ts.
Barnum settle*! up and turned the
bargain to nrcount by having a pic
ture painted for his museum repre
senting the Irishman as he appeared
before and after he had passed through
the barber's hands.
A t.KARJZKt) clergyman in the State
of Maine was approached in the fol
lowing manner by an illiterate preach
er who despised relocation : " Sir, you
have liecn to college, I suppose?"
" Yea, sir," was the rrnly. " I am
thankful," rejoined the farmer, " that
the Ixirei has opened my mouth to
preach without anr learning." " A
similiar event," replied the clergyman,
"took place in Balaam's time, hut
such things are of rare occurrence in
the present day."
Thr man arho was tossed over tha
back of*an irate bull was reported aa ,
not dead, but ouly gone beef o'er.