A PIKE'S PEAK HOMIER.
A TROTTINO OX IIKATS ALU THE tIOKHXiI IX
tits NBtunnoßitoon,
That an ox, in sotuo circumstances,
may show speed in striking contrast
with its usual slow gate i proved by the
following story toid by a correspondent
of the Cincinnati Kn</uirer : A member
of a party of miners, named Green, dis
gusted with prospects at Hike's Peak,
took AH liis share of the camp outfit, an
ox and the fore part of a cart, and out
of tho latter ho made a sulkcy. With
this he drove en*t and squatted on som<-
land near Denver which he cultivated.
One day ns Green was driving his ox
into'Dcnver, some fellows on horseback
attempted to pass him. The ox moved
by gome apparent freak, quickened it*
steps until it went oil' in a swinging trot
leaving the horse behind. This was the
first intimation Green had that hi* bob
tailed ox (it was bob-tailed) could trot
Tho idea then presented itself to him
if he could only accustom it to trotting
a short distance on a certain ptoco of
ground it could out trot nny horse in
the neighborhood. There was a gsm
bier named Rand tie in Denver at tli!•-
time who owned a horse that could do hi
mile in 2:40. Rtndule was acquainted
with Green, and would occasionally
drop into his quarters and ptaiso his
horse. A day or two after Green's dis
covery of his ox's powers L.indole drop
ped in, and, as usual, began " talking
horse." Green remarked that he ii id an
ox that could beat Rand,tie's horse lor
three hundred yards. lutudalo laughed
at first, then got until, and at last oil--ret!
to Let ten to one that it could m>t L>-
done. The Dot was promptly taken
and they adjourned to the prepared
place. The ox.was backed up to s lit
tie cart. When everything was ready,
away they went. Sure enough, at the
end ot four hundred yards the ox oaine
iu ahead. <>u the spot Randale bought
half the ox for ? >OO. The next dsy it
was pitted ng iin*t two hotses, and the
whole city turned out to see the re
niarkablu phenomenon, a trotting ox.
Again was it victorious, and aiuid the
wildest excitement passed the line six
lengths ahead.
Every day thereafter the ox defeated
n horse or two, and there soon became a
popular demand for a share in the Ani
mal. Accordingly a company was form
ed with a joint stock of s<>,4oo, being
sixty-four shares ot #lOO each. The
stock went like hot cakes, and soon
so d above par. In a week, during
which the ox had won several mor
races, the stock was quoted on the gam
bling tables, and passed for $l,OOO a
share. At last a horse sired in San
Francisco came along, and a trial ot
speed was made up between him and
the ox. <'n the apjminted day it was
estimated that there were ten thousand
people present. The ox took the lead
from the start; at the one hundred
pole he was a length and a half ahead :
at the one hundred and fifty it bad be
come three length*; at the two hun
dred and fifty the distance had widened
into five length* asd the ox still gaining.
Hut when within a dozen yards of the
winning post the ox became tired and
made up his mind to stop. According
ly he planted his front feel and refused
to budge. Moral suasion, profane j
abuse, physical ill usage, all failed to |
move him, and the horse quietly trotted
part and took the race. From that
minute the stork sank from $l,OOO x
share down to one sixty-fourtii of the
value of the ox as meat. Many effort*
were afterward made to coax the ani
mal into * trot I ut all inurement and
persuasion, gentle or otherwise, failed,
and he never trotted again.
Futiuj Divorce Case.
Fr -m tin r|iui.
Washington prolcihly has as many
cur ous phases of the divorce of bus
hand and wife as any city in the
country. Every day brings something
new. The last is in a somewhat nota
ble family we see together daily, appa
rently in harmony. Tliey cAnsi-l 'if
husband, wife and two little babies,
who lived together at tbc home of the
husband's parents until the wife's cer
tificate of divorce came along som--
weeks ago, from Indiana, (grounds, "in
compatibility of temper,") and there
upon the wife packed up her trunk*,
gathered tip one of the children and
moved over to the home of her own
parents, who are well-to-do people. It
was all very pleasant—the ex-husbahd.
with his one half of the progeny, po
litely accompanied the ex wife ami her
division of offspring, ami had her bag
gage stowed away in her new home;
after a little family chat all around the
table the rnsle division withdrew with
his baby. At tho doors "Ta In, come
and sec me when you cAn,'* quoth she.
" I will, my dear; you must come
around and see us when you can," quoth
he. The babies were kissed by the
several parties in interest, and the ex
husbanu and his half of the nuptial is
sue went on cheerily homeward. And
so they keep it up; daily visit*. The
wife was horn in this city, and never
has been a dozen mile* away from it.
Neither of the parties ha* ever seen the
Hoosier State. Hut an Indiana court
decreed them divorced.
The largest Infant on Record.
The largest infant at birth of which
there i* nny authenticated record WAS
born in Ohio on the l'lth of Isst Janu
ary. The new horn boy was twenty
three and three quarter pounds in
weight (the ordinary weight being about
six pounds), And thirty inches in height
(tho ordinary height Wing about twenty
Inches). The circumference of the
head was nineteen inches, and the foot
was fives and a half in lenghth. -Nix
years ago the same woman became the
mother of a child eighteen pounds in
weight and twentv four inches in height.
The size and weight of thebaW, though
extraordinary, are proportionate to the
size-of the parent*. The mother, Mrs.
M. V. Rates, of Nova Scotia, ia seven
feet and nine inches high, and the
father, a Kentuckian, is seven (eel seven
inches high. The London Hospital
Museum can Wast no longer of iu
giant infant, which is only twenty-s>ur
inches high, with the head thirteen and
a half inches in circumference.
HOCSS-CUAKISU refrain—Oct up and
-i.i.L
A FANCY CLOCK.
A clock having "three times more
dial indication* anil more moving em
bellishment* than any dock on mirth,"
has just been finished in Columbus,
Ohio—the result of eight year* of toil.
In a few days it will be on exhibition in
Columbus, and then will begin the
grand tour of the states. From The
(Wuiniui Journal the particulara of this
wonderful structure are learned. The
maker's design was that it should
be an "embodiment of the great events
of our national history." To begin with,
he has supported it by"a ponderous
pair ot eagle claws, draped and bunded
by the thireeen sturs of the thirteen
original states." It is five feet wide and
ten high, and the two sides have repre
sentations of the two greatest event* in
American history—the war of inde
pendence and the war for the Union.
Independence Hall is there, with the
old cracked bell within the belfry and
an old man ready to ring it. The god
dess of liberty strikes the hour, ami the
goddess of justice balances the scales in
favor of industry. In the center of an
eolian harp is a model of the famous
Strasbourg clock only 4 inches by 12 in
size. For the .grand Apostolic pageant
the figures have been made after Leon
ardo's printing. All the allegorical fig
ures are made of ivory except the one
of Satan, which is very properly made
of ebony and bus garnet eye*. Historic
scenes uro enacted on a stage. At the
first quarter hour a locomotive appear*,
as the emblem of our first progress in
industry. At the second the bell i
tolled in Independence Hall and Wash
ington walks majestically nero-is the
scene. At the third the Apostles bow to
the figure of Christ, Peter denies bis
Lord, and the rock crows. A skeleton
hastens along, bearing a green scarf on
iif shoulders, with the words "time
flies," and an infant emerges from the
opening door with a rattle box in lii
band. Just before tho full hour arrives
a phonograph makes music to herald
its coming. At midday emancipation
is acted. Lincoln, proclamation in hand,
moves toward a Slave bound to an auc
tion block, while the slave turns to look
upon his deliver his shackles fall and
his hands are raised a* in a prayer of
thanksgiving.
Premium on Itaienlity.
From lb* PifUtur* Crillc.
The action of the Hoard of Pardons,
on Thursday lust, in pardoning Househ
ami Scott, of tho Seventh Ward Flec
tion Hoard, is beyond the eomprehen
sion of all good and law abiding people,
and is an outrage that should receive
the condemnation of all good citizens
who think that the purity of the ballot
should be held inviolate, and not to lie j
placed in such a position that tho wish- j
es of the voter* of s district would bj> '
subject to the manipulation of one or .
two dishonest politicians who, for world- i
Iv gain or filthy lucre, would defeat the
wishes of the voters of their election ,
district.
The Pardon Hoard of this State on !
last Thursday placed a premium on dis- j
honest election officers, when ihey re- |
commended to Governor Hoyt, the par- j
dons of Itousch and Scott. The Gov- ;
ernor is partially to blame for being so j
hasty, after the recommendation, in j
granting the pardon.
Judge Kirkpatrick and nearly all the :
officials around the Court House con
demn it. Some of the friends of Kousch
and Scott say the conviction and sen
deuce was all that was required to show
the supremacy of the Uw, and that
it would not W just to imprison them
any longer. Would not the same ar
gument hold good in the caso of a mur
derer who has lain in jail for a year
waiting for his death warrant.
floral in Seymour on Politician*.
lolcrtiw villi X. T. J! ri •*i*n-Iwvil.
I always liked politics, and, what is
more, I like politicians. They are a
much abused class. It is the fashion to
sneer at them, but I think they are
better men as a rule than merchants
and bankers and other representatives
of wtTat is called* repcctability. They
make more sacrifices and do mqre un
selfish work for other* than business
men ever think of doing. They culti
vale a certain chiraltic sense of honor.
Kvan some who are naturally corrupt
will refuse the most tempting bribe*
when tho integrity of their party is in
tmlved. I have seen enough of politi
cs! life to sn'isfy me that its influence
is elevating atui not degrading. I would
much rather he tried by a jury of my
political opponent* who were acknowl
edged politicians, than bv a jury of re
spectable business men who said thst
fhey took uo particular intoreat in |>oli
tic*, but usually voted the Republican
ticket. From them I should expect
gross injustice and prejudice ten times
a* intense as my avowed political oppo
nents would display. The man who
servea a cause, if it is not a positively
bad cause, is ennobled by the service.
He learn* to look at men, as well as
doctrines, from a higher standpoint than
mere personal selfishness.
The Marriage of the Midgets.
A New York paper says : It has been
finally arranged, after many discussion*
between their families, that the Mid
get* are to be married next Sunday.
Lucie Zarate, the prospective bride, is
15 years old, arid weighs less than five
pounds. Her face is bright, but not
prepossessing. The bracelet* she wear*
cannot he buckler! around the third
finger of a man of ordinary site. Her
shoes (made to order) are 2J inches
long, and her gloves measure about I
inch from the top of the longest finger
to the button at the wrist. Her cape
was made originally for a doll in a
Rroad way show window and is a good
fit. In the matter of jewelry she ia pro
fnse. On each hand she wears a dia
mond ring, her brooch is a diamond,
and she has a fondness for dangling
ornament* on her ears. General Mite
ia twice the weight of hi* prospective
bride. The preparations for tho wed
ding are going steadily forward. The
brine is to wear a white satin dress
studed with seed pearls. Hmall as her
frame is, it la estimated that tho bridal
dress contain* no leaa than 1,000 pearls.
The bridegroom is to wear his full dress
suit, except thst his vest of black cloth
will be replaced by a white reat.
MATRIMONIAL CHECKER*.
From Ih* fMrolt Fit© I'imm.
Up to three evenings ngo such a thing
a* a checker hoard was never known in
Mr. (Irattan'a house. He and hi* aged
partner have managed t< pass the long
evenings very pleasantly, and he sup
posed they were happy enough until a
friend from the East paid them a fly
ing visit Btid asserted over and over
again that the game of checkers was not
only ull the rage there, hut .that it
served to quicken the perceptive facul
ties, enlarge the mind and render the
brain more active. After giving the
subject due thought Mr. Orattan walked
down town and purchased a checker
hoard, and when evening came he sur
prised hi* good wife by bringing it in
from the wood-shed, and saying:
"Well, Martha, we'll have a game or
two before we go over to the social. I
expect to beat you all to Hinders, but
you won't care."
"(if course not, and if I beat you, why,
you won't care," she replied.
They sat down, and he claimed the
first move. She tit once objected, but j
when be began to grow red in the face
*lio yielded and lie led of)*. At the ,
fourth move -he took a man, chuckling !
a* slio raked him in.
"I don't see anything to grin at," he J
sneered a* he moved a man backward, i
"Here! you can't move that way!"'
she Called out.
"I can't eh! Perhaps I never played !
checkers before you were born I"
She saw a chance to jump two more
men, and give in the point, hut a* she I
moved he cri- I out :
"Put them men rigid hack there!
I've concluded not to ruqve hack a aid
even if Hoyle docs permit it!" She
gave in again, hut when in- jumped a
man her nose grew red and she cried
out:
"I ,ITWt mean to move there ; 1 was
thinking of the nodal I"
"Can't help the social, Martha—we
must go hy llofle."
In about two minute* she jumped two
men and went into the king row, shout
ing :
"Crown him! crown himl I've got a
king
"One would think hy your childish 1
actions that you never played a game
before," he growled out.
"1 know enough to heat you!"
"You do eli ? Some people are awful
*tnart."
"And some folks ain't," she snapped
a* the king captured another man.
"What in thunder are you jumping
that way for ?"
"A king can jump any way."
"No he can't!"
"Ye* he can!"
"Don't talk to me, Martha Orsttan ! j
I w*s playing checkers when you were
in the cradle !"
"I don't care ! I can jump two men
whichever way vou move."
He looked down on the l<oard, saw
that *ueh was the case, and roared out: !
"V on'ire moved twice to my once."
"I haven't I"
"I'll take my oath you have ! I can't j
play against such blackleg practices ?" j
"Who's a blackleg! You not only'
cheated, hut you tried to lie out of it!" 1
Hoard and checker* fell between them.
He ceuhi get on hi* hat quicker thsri
she could Jind her bonnet, and that
w* the only reason he got out of tiie
house first. A Woodward avenue grocer
found him silting on a basket of crati
t>errie at the door as he wa* closing up
for the night, and asked him if he was
not waiting for hi* wife to come along.
"Well, not exactly ; I stopped here to
feel in rnv tiockcl for the key of the
barn. I shnil sleepon the hay to night,
and see if it won t cure this cold in ray
head."
win THEY "i:\oins."
Til* M-.B'i** LISV|JUS Tit* SOI Til tiKi'Al St
Ttiar WANT A tit AM, a.
, Vr*wi fH" I*t 1/nilf i#M :<x*rrl
"f'onie this wsy," said s gentleman nt
one of the desk*, "thi* man want* to
have a talk with you almut going home,
and i going to put your name in the
| PSR-T/'
I "What is his name?" the reporter
' asked.
"William Chapman," answered the
! darkey.
"And where do you hail from?"
"I'gh'n ?" queried William.
I "Where do you corns from
"Mad'son p*'*h."
"Well, now," said the gentleman at
the desk, "tell the reporter here why
you left the Smith."
"Well'n." said Chapman, threatening
to wipe hi* black nose with the rim of
his hst, "I dunno. I wai a hveanin' de
people sll is) sin shout com in' an' a
gittin' ready fur to come, and dey war
a savin' wat a nice place Ka ansa* wu*.
an' so I je' bundled up my thing* sn'
come along."
" Was that your only reason for leav
ing?" asked the reporter.
"Dat'a de only reason I know for it,"
said William.
"No one ever harmed or threatened
you in the South ? You had no fears of
the white* ?"
"Oh.no.no; no, indeed. Hies* you,
no w'ite man ever ha'med me."
"And yon never heard of any troubles
with the whites ?"
"Deed'n I didn". Dsr wuzno trouble
'bout in our part*: but I hearn*ay 'at
over in y' other parishes dere wu* some
thootin' or io.h.
"You're not afraid logo hack South ?"
"Noh, I'm not 'fraid! W'at I got to
Iks 'fraid uv? Kf dere ain't no much
shoolm' and killin' dar w'en we lef, I
can't see nuffin' to be askeard on."
"Then you aro anxious to go hack ?"
"Deed'n 1 is. De Houf is good "nuf
fo' roe. I ain't a hod no health here
since I kum. I've s bin mo*' ailin' to
do. Nah, nah, I tell you I ain't 'fraid
to go back. I had s nioe place down
dar, and wti* livin' with Mr. Crandell
for over nine year—Mr. Crandell was a
nice man. No, indeed, dere alt-'t no
killin' where I nun from, cause if dere
wu* I bet you I wouldnt't want ter git
back."
"WHAT does transatlan tin mean, mam
ma?" "Across the Atlantic, child.
Hold your tongue and ask no more
questions." "Then does transparent
mean across mamma?"
WHAT tho key la to the watch, the
prayer is to our graces.
TACT.
Fmm tlin Tin dpt.
It was onc Causeur's good fortune to
upend u few I.>• hin the mods *t home
of a friend of slander meium—it home
tltit t wat all that ita owner could afford
to tiiuko it, yet lacked rnuny things
that would have made it more com
fortable ami convenient. 1 luring t'-tu-
Mtur'a ntuy two guests were entertained
at tea, both of them men of mean* and
wide acquaintance, accuatomnd to all
the luxury that wealth can give. Hut
they were widely different in th<-ir behuv
havior. The firat dwelt upon the fact
thfl house wa* in an out of the way *pot,
and that there were few or no neigh
bors At table he told of the deliciout
tea he had drank at the house of one
friend, of the rich tea aervioa that he
had neeii upon the table of another, of
the rare old china that wan used in bin
own bourn hold, and of the dainty
nukli lie had eat-'ii from it. In the
cr.niiped, little rifting room, after t<,
he rat by the stove and talked of the
delight" of an Open wood lire, of hi*
enjoyment of rare and coatly book" and I
picture*, ami of twenty other thing*
that the host of whose hospitality he
bad partaken did not and could not j
possess. When lie bad gone it ws*
clear, although nothing was said, that •
bis visit had caused nam, that it bad I
made the wife feel her straightened
circumstance- more keenly than ever,
and cast a shadow over her hushan I'M ;
thoughts.
The next evening came the other j
visitor, lie brought good i licer in his
very face. '! fie room, he said, fell so
warm and comfortable after Ins walk,
which, he added, wajut the thing to
give a man a good appetite f-.r his sup- ;
I< r. At the table be spoke of every
thing that was nice, congratulated hi.
host on having such a snug little home,
apologized for eating so much, but
couldn't help it, because it ws* "so
good " and lasted *'so homelike," like I
the old black tea pot Iscrnuso it wa*
jut like the one In* mother had when
be wa a boy, and toid bis hostess, who
wsf all smiles am* as happy a* a queen,
that she ought to thank her stars that
she had no gas or furnace to ruin the
1 flowers that made her home look so
cheerful. After to* he in-uted that the
child *houhl not bo sent to f-d "just
I yet;" said lie wanted to tell thorn a
j story, a* he did; and when lie had
, done, and had ki*scd them goc-d night,
they trudged oIT up stasia with beaming
i faces, under the guidance of a mother
who felt that a ray of real -unshine Lad
j entered her home, making it belter and
| happier for all lime.
The Issie For Ills Mother.
In the sermon preached at the fun
i ersl of the Isle l>>)i< p Foley, we fiud
the following beautiful passage:
| "One instance in his life, which many
I persons might look down upon a* s
, mere | aasing weakness of human afleo
j lion, to me seems the key to the man's
i independence of what any one thought
! and tiie man's great tenderness, (in i
| the day of bis consecration ;n Haiti ,
j more, after thai solemn ceremony, he '
went, the mitre on bis brow and the
pastorial staff in hi* hand—he went
around to give |,i* blessing to tne crowd
of jieople who exulted in and were
proud of hi* elevation, who knew him
in childhood, who saw hi* Ulsrrs in the
{•ricsthood, and now saw htm crowned
>y his elevation to the Epiaropnte. A*
lie went down the nave of the church
an age l lady bowed her head to receive
hi* Massing, and then looked up to him
her eye* full of tears of gratitude tolled
for Ins elevation. She looked up- that
, tender mother loved him so much—and
bowing hi* mitred head be kissed
hi* mother's brow, *how.ng an inde
pendence and a tendcrnea*. Hi* heart
wa* touched. There are those who
poak of the weaning of the after
tions—of the independence n*c*s*iy
for Dirine lave—but no matter what
weaning there may be, the fore of the
mother ever remains. That mother
that is with her child, in affliction or in
jnv that mother will be beside him
whether he sit* on the throne or trem
bles on the scaffold. That mother
whose love disgrace cannot lessen that
mother should ever he loved.
A Model Confession.
Seventy year* ago.in a Vermont town,
a young lawyer—a member of a Urge
church--got drunk. The brethren said
he must confess. lie demurred. Ho
knew the members to be good people,
but that they had their little fault*, such
as driving sharp bargains, screwing the
latiorcr lown to low wage*, loaning
money at illegal rab #, misrepresenting
article* they had for sale, etc. Hut
they were a good jwrnrdo *nd pressed
the lawyer to corns before the church
meeting and own to hi* *in of taking a
glass too much, for they were a temper
ance people before tomiwmnce societies
existed. The sinner finally went to the
confession ; found a large gathering of
brethren and sister*, whose bowed
head* rose and whose eyes glistened
with Hesvenly delight as the lswyer be
gsn confession. • " I confess," began he,
" that I never took ten jer cent, for
money." (Six was the legal rate.) iNt
this confession down went a brother's
head with a groan. " 1 never turned a
poor man from my door who needed
food or shelter." I>own went another
head. " I confess I never sold a skim
med milk cheeeo for a new one."
Whercuj>on a sister shrieked for mercy.
" Hot,"' concluded the sinner, " I hsve
got drunk, and am very sorry for it."
Whereupon the meeting peaceably dis
miasod.
A OoNoaassaAN WMoNaanrnt POIKT. —
There never will be such * thing as im
miinily from this eternal warfare of
words aa long as the Congressional Rec
ord ia published daily for the conveni
ence of member*. I tell you I would
wipe out of existence free publication
of speeches, s* with a sponge, and enact
a rule which would make oaoh member
par for the print ing of hisown speeches.
Why, sir, there wouldn't be any diffi
culty then In making this session de
cently short. The patriots, who are
now loaded to the muzxle with fiery
speeches, wouldn't shoot 'em off, not a
hit of it. You couldn't get a man to
speak above five minutes, and the mem
bers for buncombe wouldn't have a
word to say.—Rep. Wells, of Mo.
COULDN'T HE "I,Ell OFF ON HE
HOOF."
WHY MK. IIKfcHY THINK* COISISKII SOCIBTY
too Hprji "m.rvATEU." ,
groin ll- VliKlrili Cltf Kr. 1 < r\it l.,<
lie wo* a new bootblack, but already
seemed quit" at homo at the old stand
so long a familiar object on the line of
our daily peregrination*.
"Hartm. boss, shine 'em up iri leas'n
no time," *aid he, and we mounted to
the hurricane deck of his place of busi
ness.
"Wall, yes, boa*, not bin here long, I
but I'se geltin' insight inter do ways
mighty fast, lie ways here, salt, is <ll f- |
ferent to what dey is down in ole Mas
sissip. Bin Ma*issip, sah? Fine old
State, sah. Like de vray* better nor de
ways here. Not so much eh-wation down
dar. You hear de white folk* talk in*
all <le time 'trout de elewation of de
black folks, an' de collud folks in some
of dein gettin' it on de brain an' i*
preacliin' elewation. Not so much black
dnr in ole MaMiasip as to de Norf an'
out di* Way. Down in Missisrip dey
goes on pooty much in de ole ways.
Hey takes what happiness come* along
ill *b- natural way, an doesen't reach up
for it till dey gits a pain in de nck.''
"'I he colored people here appear to
be quit* as happy as in any part of the
world," we venture to remark.
"No, s.ili ; beg leave to diffith ; you'*
not on do inside, *ah; dar's too much
l elewation : dat's what's de matter. <<ive
I you an instance ; Lis' week, you kno'
-ah, '!'■ culluil folk - had a b|l ; quite .a
high toned afiuih, *nb. Well, I engaged a
1 young lady lor the party, sah—one dat
!, at dat time, looked on RHIS pride ob .
de country, nh. I am not indifferent
; to dress, an' 1 put on clothes dat don't i
ebery day see de light ol< de nun —an'
i went to <)• residence oh de gal.
"I 'rived at do 'pinted time. He gal
was in de bes' room an' in her be*'
clothed, waitin' my 'rival on de scene, j
| I>e ole man wa dar, mi' de ole woman*!
; also figured in de labuleaux, wit a few '
' juvenile supenuutenury me tubers ob <le
I family.
'Miss Augusta *mib-d on ine in dat '
inelliii way <.b de eve* dat alier< guvo !
me a movement ob <ie heart. I was in
terjiiced to d<* more "flu on rial members
ob de household an' de di scours' was
agre. able. Presently 1 suggested dat
it would lo well to be movin' for de
party, and Mis* Augusta rose in all de
pomp and circumstance ol her high
priced artire.
"We arrived on de upot at do door, an'
otfbrin' my arm. I supposed vte should
progress. No, ab, not a bit of it. Dxt
gal receded. She rose erec' to an aston
•shin' bight, an' as she transfixed me
wid her gaze sh<- uttered dese meraora
ble : 'What's d< tran'portalion ?'
"I)e what?" says i, feelin' dat suff.n
wa g<in' wrong.
"He trans pot-at ion ? Wbar'sde trans
portation ?'
"'What's de transportation ?" says I.
M 'l>e wehicle—a lint's de wehicle?'
says she.
"d don't know nuffin' 'bout no we- ;
j hi ole.' says 1.
"'Wha'a de kerridpe?' ay she.
j "'Ho kerridge?' 'I haven't seen no ]
kern Ige?'
"'Misuh llcrry, dies v' ti pretend to '
! tell me dat you're come to take me to |
Ihe ball without a kerridge ?' and she
become of still greater height,
"'Why, of course,' says 1, 'I thought ,
)we could walk. Down in ole Mai*ip .
de gaU think nuffin of g"in' mile an'
miles—' •
" 'So you expect me tn hoof it, M it*h
I Berry? You tells tie'bout de gals in
Ma is.jp, Mistah Berry ; do de gal* in !
MIM< i**ip know anything 'bout proper |
attire, Mistah Berry?' An' she guv a
sort of kick an' a sling of her body, an'
trailed out 'bont four yards of train.'
"'He ole man an'de ole woman an'
all de rest now put in dsr 'pfaranee. an'
says de ole man ; 'What's all diiconfu
sion of tongue* ?'
"'Mistah Berry doesn't consider de
hot,ah sufficient lo warrant him in de
outlay neoessary for de furnishing of
propsh transpoUtion,' said Mis* Au
gusts.
"'S.\h " said de ole man : 'Sah !' sai'l
| de ole woman ; 'Salt 1' said all de little
member*.
"1 said nuffin.
i " 'l>oes de niggah 'spect he's gwine to
j lead our darter off" on de hoof like she
wo* a cow?" said de ole woman.
I "'Who you call niggah, ole woman ?'
says I. "Why, I'se drove lictter lookin'
hofllgrs nor your* to de plow, down in
■ ole Massjssip.'
"He gal shriekt!
"'l'ar you talk tome an' my darter
fin dat bituminous manner?' said de ole
man, and he guv me a lift wid his old
stogas d.it raised rue cfl'n do stoop, and
follored it uji wid numerous of de same
dat was much aasislaace to mo in gettin*
out tie gate.
"Bsrhi too much elewation, aah,
crcepin' into cullud society. 1 turn my
back on it, aah !"
RSORITMTIXO TFIX OOM <R THX Cmros.
—Many of the existing custom* of the
Kusaian peasants are relies of the old
times ol paganism. Thus, in the pro
vince of Saratov in a season of drought
the peasant* still reeott to the ancient
fashion of attempting to draw the rain.
In each of the villages every resident,
old and young, tries to throw a pailful
of water, perhaps around a corner, upon
some unguarded or unthinking pedes
trisn. Men, women and children
drenched to the skin, and armed with
buckets or aeon pa, pursue each other
through the streets, amid uproar and
laughter. Thus according to dradition,
the god* of tha cloud* are propitiated,
and send rain.
A HmstiOi.ii l.tiiv.—There is a
lady in Kittanning, Armstrong county,
named Mr* Nulton, who was born in
Philadelphia. June 14, 1775, and is
therefore 104 year* old. She is remark
ably well nreserre< 1, can read without
giasses ana walk around with the aid of
a cane. Bhe ha* had *even children,
the oldest being Judge Nulton, who
died * abort time ago aged 70. Bha
live* with a daughter aged 6*. and her
youngnst child hi 54. t Hie of her grand
children is 45, and some of her great
grandchildren have already voted.
A MILL clergyman onoe said to some
boy* in a gallery. "Don't make so
much noise up there, or jrou will awake
jour parent* below."
Marriage In <I.
It i death in Lapland to marry a
maid without the convent of her parent*
or friend*. When a young man ha*
formed an attachment to a female, the
fashion is to apj>oint their friend* to
rneet, to behold the two young partiea
run a race together. The rnu-d in allow
ed in starting the advantage of a third
part of the race, so that it ia impossible,
except willing or herself that the *hould
t; overtaken. If a maid overrun* her
suitor the matter ia ended ; he mout
never have her, it being ),<-nal for the
man Ui renew the motion of marriage.
Hut if the virgin h* an affection for
him, though at lint she run* hard to try
the truth oi hi* love, she will pretend
•omemutuality and voluntarily halt he
fore she comes to the mark or end of
the race. Thus none are compelled to
marry against their wishes, and tin* it
the canoe that in thin |>oor country the
married* people are richer in their own
contentment than in other land*, where
so many forced match.-, make feigned
love and cause real unhappinow.
■" —♦
Mr*. Grant's I.lheral l*e or the
Tongue.
Caf4 .*! VJ O.i
l.< NOON, A j*ril b. —lt is reported from
Agra, on g-K.d authority, that after a
w.-rni public dinner Mr*, 'irant, the ex-
President wife, spoke a. follow, to a
number of |<eoj,,'<.- sitting at the head
of the table : "I he Genera! i* traveling
abroad to a- to Le out of the way in a
natural manner. He is going to run for
President again at the next (lection.
If wo were at home there are any
amount of burning questions on which
he wou -1 either b- force,} to pommit
iiitnaell or lock awkwardiy. By travel
ing around he ke.-pa himself nice and
free ar,d be will go hack to the White
Hoiiae quite untratnrnelc-d by any
pledge*."'
HABIT or SIIIKKIVO. —The habit of
.lurking i* a grant evil in our land. Sad
and bill, r arc the experience* of mul
j litude- w|,o have lo*t position* of emol
ument and trust by shirking dutiea and
i responsibilities devolving upon lh.-m.
I hey saw the-.r miatake after it w too
late; It in * bad a.gn to see a young
| man Contracting the habit of shirking,
j You may set it down at once that soon
er or later be will be a drone in tho
hive of human industry, living without
any purpose in life, and scorned Wy all
those who have willing hands, and fol
low up what they can find to do.
Young man. if you want to gain the con
fidence and esteem of your employer,
never shrink from a duty. If over
tasked. lav in your complaints, and you
will always get • hearing. If you be
gin life a shirk, you may act it down a*
a fixed fact that the habit will follow
you through life, and as a "success you
will be an utter failure.'"
Iveoxatrfini.! WtiTtxc Papex.—'Two
Spaniard* h*vo lately taken out a pat
; .-nt in .Spain for making writing jjaf-er
, mcombustiblc. The experiment* are
i **; l to have been satisfactory. Tho
I paper wsll not burn, no matter what
' may he the intensity of the heat ap
plied. A single sheet submitted to the
direct action of the flame will carbonize
i but docst not take fire. if a roll of pre
pared paper is placed in the hottest
fire, the outside leave* will carbonize
I the edges for a short depth, hut the in-
I terior remains unaltered, the writing or
printing being perfectly legible. The
cheapness of the preparation make* it
i accessible to every purjiose in which
paper i u*M.
PIGS, THE Hoc a ox WHICH 11* *•**
j Wxrx xxn.—lt was not loose society, or
! the wine cup, or gambling, or stock
speculation on the sly, that ruined a
bank officer in Hnnesdalo. Pennsylvania,
1 if we may accept the version of the
affair put out by his friend*. 110 went
to Use bad by an original route—to wit;
via. the pig sty. In an evil hour he
became fired by an ambition—not cul
pable in staelf—-to improve the breed of
pigs in hi* beloved Pennsylvania. For
that purpose he invested in a J'2.500
grunter, aid this unlucky purchase
proved bis financial and moral destruc
tion.—-V. Y. Sun.
The opposition to the Mexican Inter
national Kxposition, it ia said, will at
tempt to defeat the project by fighting
it with a bill to build a penitentiary
upon the site of the Exposition building.
Senors Uiva Palacio and Sebastian Cam
ache, it is belived. have offered to ad
vance tLe government a loan of fcJOV
000 toward completing the building at
i an early da v.
I
"I snortn like to have yen raise a
club,' aaid a Txp book canvsaaer to a
daughter of Erin, a* he stood on the
front step trying to talk her to death
on ihe subject of the "Extinction of the
Tnhes of the Seventh Century." "I
I will," said Biddy, as she reached around
itehind the door, "but bad luck to your
picture if you're lingering around here
when I get it raised." He didn't linger.
TUB** cent UI ie after the advent of
Christ there were about fi.OlKi.tiOO Chris
tians, and at the end of the sixth cen
tury there was about double that num
ber. The gain in the United State*
alone during the last twenlv five year*
ia estimated to have equalled the result
of all these ventures.
"MAKBA," said a wicked youngster,
"am 1 a canoe T" "So. child, why do
you auk 1" "Ob, because you always
say you like to see people paddle their
own canoe; and I didn't know maybo
1 was your*." The boy went out of tho
room with more reference to speed than
grace. . . __
A ruructAN's little daughter, called
upon for a toast, gave t "1 he hrelth ef
papa and n; am in a and all the world."
liut she suddenly corrected the senti
ment. "Hot all the world, for then
papa would hare no patient*.''
Turns'* hope for Texas yet Atsrt*
cent election there were hut three vote*
for license in the town of Wsxaharhiel
and in another place a man had to j yJ
|4O for swearing in the presence of i
I**/-
It take* a fellow who ha* been kicked'
off the front stoop by the irate parent of
hi* girl to tell tho story of the mistil*
too.