HOW 11K FOOLED HE It. Bungay, the real estate agent over at Pecnader, suspected that Mr*. Bun gay didn't care so much for him as she ought to. So one day ho went up to the city, after leaving word that he would be gone two or three days. While there he arranged with a frieud to send a telegram to his wife, at a cer tain hour, announcing that he had been run over on the railroad and killed. Then Bungay came home, and slip pod into the house unperccivod, he se creted himself in the closet in the sit ting room to await the arrival of the telegram and to see how Mrs. Bungay took it. After awhile it came, and he saw the servant girl give it to his wife. Kho opened it and as she read it she gave one little start. Then Bungay saw a smile gradually overspread her features. She rang lor the girl, and when the servant came, Mr*. Bungay said to her: "Mary, Mr. Bungay's been killed. I've just got the news, I reckon I'll have to put ou black for him, though I hate to give up my new honuet for mourning. You just go over to the milliner's and ask her to fetch me up some of the latest styles of widow's bonnets, and tie a piece of black crape on the door, and then bring the under taker here." While Mrs. Bungay was waiting, she smiled continually, and ouce or twice she danced around the room, and stood in front of the looking glass, and Bungay heard lier murmer to her*clf: "I ain't such a bad looking woman. I wonder now what James will think of me ?" "James !" thought Bungay, as his widow took her seat and sang softly, as if she felt perfectly happy. "Who in tho thunder's James? Bhe cer tainly don't mean that infamous old undertaker, Toombs? His name is James, and he's a widower; hut it's preposterous to think that she cares for nim.or is going to prowl after any man for a husband as quick as this." "Mr. Toombs, Bungav is dead ; run over by locomotive au*. Rig up some kind of a chrap coffin, and mark his name on it with a brush, and bury him with as little fuss as possible. I'll come along with a couple of friends; and we'll walk. No carriages. Times are to hard." "I will attend to it." "And, Mr. Toombs, there is another matter. Mr. Bungay's life was insur ed for about twenty thousand dollars, and I want to get possession of it as soon as possible, and then I shall think of marrying again." "Indeed, maflam!" "Yes; and can you tliiuk of any body who will suit me ?" "I dunnn. I might. Twenty thou sand you say he left P "Twenty thousand ; yes. Now, Mr. Toombs, you'll think me bold, hut I only tell the honest truth when I say that I prefer a widower, and a man who is about middle age, and in soma business connected with cemeteries." "How would an undertaker suit you?" "I fhink very well, if I could only find one. I often told Bungay that I wished he was an undertaker." "Well, Mrs. Bungay, it is a little kind of sudden ; 1 haven't thought much about it; and old Bungay's hardly got settled in the world of the hereafter; but business is business, and if you must have an undertaker to love you and look after that life in surance money, it appears to me that I am just the kind of a man. Will you take me ?" "Ob, James! fold me to your bosom!" James was about to fold her, when Bungay, white with rage, burst from the closet and exclaimed : "Unhand her, villain 1 Touch that woman and you die! Leave this house at oooe, or I will brain you with the poker! And as for you, Mrs. Bungay, you can pick up your duds and quit. I've done with you. I know that you are a cold-hearted, faithless, abominable wretch! Go, and go at once t I did this to try you and ray eyes are opened." "I know you did, and I concluded to pay yon in your own coin." "ThaVa too awful thin. It won't hbold water." true anyhow. You told Mr. BgiU you were going to do it, and lie told w." "He did, bey ? I'll burst the head off of him." "When you are really dead, I will be a good deal more sorry, provided m M it •' dSSt~.itS r-'WI you don't make such a fool of yourself while you're alive." "You will? You will really be sorry ?" "Of course." "And you won't marry Toombs! Where is that man Tuoralw ? By George, I'll go for him! He was mighty hungry for that insurance money! I'll step around and kick him at once while I'm mad. We'll talk this over when I come back." Then Bungay left to cull upon Toombs and when he returned ho dropped the subject. He bus drawn up Ins will so that his wife will bo cut otr with a shilling if she employs him us the undertaker. COMMON AND NOHMAL SCHOOLS. Fr give them a better educa tion thaii tho district school afford. We believe tho cause of education would be advanced if tho Normal schools wero closed to-morrow. It would ro-e*tabli*h tho Academy and local classical school where parents could give a* good. If not a better, education to their children, uud a large umount of money would be saved to the taxpayer. WHERE TIIK MOSEY (JOES. Tho appropriation to meet claims arising during tho next fiscal year under the recent pension act, the ap propriations for Mexican veteran* ex cluded, will distribute a vast sum in such small amount* a* to carry relief to thousand* of needy futiiilnw —a* well a* inuiiy not very needy —ull over tho Union. We say all over the Union, for it i* true that every section will get Home jsirtion of it, ulthougli the greater i>ortiou will, of course, go to those state* which furnished the most men for the union army, and in which tho veterans still reside. Am nearly a-s can be ascertained from data at hand in the [amnion bur eau, Massachusetts, Hbode Island and Connecticut will get, through the Hoa ton agency, $2,0*0,000; Vermont, New Hump-hire and Maine, through the Concord agency, 82,040,000; Eastern New York, New York citv and Ing Island, through the New ork agency, 81,4. r O,OO0; Western and Northern New York, through the Cannndaigua agency, 81,000,000; Krstcrii Pennsyl vauia, through the Philadelphia agen cy, 81,800,000; Western Pennsylvania, through the Pittsburg agency; 81,- 450,000; Ohio, through the Columbus agency, 82,600,000; Indiana, through the Indianapolis agency, 81,850,000; Michigan, through the l)etriot agency, 81,150,000; Minnesota and Wiscon sin and territories of Dakota and Mon tana, through the Milwaukee agency, 81,200,000; Nebraska and lowa, through the Des Moines agency, 81,- lOO.OOO; Colorado, Kansas and Mis souri, through the Su Ixiuis agency, sl,s< >0,000; California, Oregon, Ne vada and territories of Washington, Utah, Arizona and New Mexico, through the Han Francisco agency, 8200,000; Kentucky, through the Louisville agency, 8760,000; Ten nessee, Virginia, West Virginia and North Carolina, through the Knoxvillc agency, $880,000; Illinois, through the Chicago agency, $2,210,000; Maryland, Delaware, city of Wash ington and District of Columbia, through the Washington agency, sl,- 000,000; Texas, Arkansas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, ftouth Carolina and Florida, through the New Orleans agency, $560,000. In addition to bearing her share of the public burden imposed by the regular jiension rolls and the liberal maintenance of four splendid houses for volunteer soldiers, the South must contribute her proportion of this large total and all tnc other millions that may follow before the provisions of this act are complied with. Yet wo hear no howl of indignation from that section, and the "Confederate briga diers" in the Capitol do not indulge in any of those tirades so common on the part of Radicals when any measure for the benefit of the Houtkeru people is suggested. The Southern soldiers bare no pen sions, and do not want or expect any. The maimed veterans of the Confeder ate armies have no homes provided for them, nor do Ihey ask or look for such provisions. The South is poor, while the North is rich. And yet wc see the representative* of the South cheerfully voting for pension bills and the wipjiort of homes for those who triumphed over tbcm in the great civil contest, and the people of the Houth uncomplainingly hearing their share of the taxation consequent upon such expenditures. On the other hand, we find the North fairly ablaze with alarm and indignation at the proposal to rebuild the walls of an ancient seat of learning in theHouth, which was destroyed by the Union army. The contrast is suggestive. SHOW I M THK DOCUMENTS I General Rrishin, U. HA., says of the resources of Montana: The yield of grain is prodigious. Mr. Forbes raised a field of wheat of twenty acres, which yielded him 82 bushels per acre. Mr. Raymond, of Lewi* and Clarke county, raised 102 bushel* on each of a number of acres. Mr. Bur ton had a field of barley which cut 113 bushels per acre; a field of oats 101 bushels, and a patch of laud in pota toes on which he dug 613 bushels per acre. The largest yield of wheat in Montana on a single acre of land was 113 bushels. These figure* are not fancy estimates, but sworn to by dis interested parties, and the production is an actual fact. The figures will seem astonishing, if not im|KMible, to Eastern farmers, but they are true, and can be provided if necessary. The average yield of wheat is thirty-eight bushels per acre. The root crops grew enormously, and I have had a good opportunity to observe them in our fine garden* at EIIU. Peas, beans, tomatoes, cabbage, cucumbers, melons, potatoes, licet*, parsnips, turnips, onions and squashes attain remarkable size and flavor. We have had potatoes weighing four pounds each, and ruta i bag a* seventeen and a quaiter pounds. KYEBIUHT ANH HEADING. HOW TIIK INJURIOUS EFFECT! UPON THK EYRB MAY UK AVOIDED, from ill* London Tim**. M. Javel, in a recent lecture, trie* to answer the question, Why in read ing a specially fatiguing exercise? and also suggests some remedies for this fatigue. First, M. Javel says reading require* an absolutely permanent ii|>- plicutiuu of the eyesight, resulting in a permanent tension of the organ, which may he measured by the amount of fatigue or by the produc tion of permanent niyopy; secondly, hook* are printed in black on a white ground. The eye i* thus iu presence of the most absolute contrast which can be imagined. The third |>cculiiir ity lie* in the itrraugcincnt of tliu characters in horizontal line*, over which run our eyes. If we iiiuintau during reading a perfect immobility of the book and the head, the printed line* are ap plied successfully to the same part* of the retina, while the interspaces, more bright, also affect certain region* of the retina, always the saine. There must result from this a fatigue ana logous to that which we experience when we make experiment* in "acci dental images," and physicists will ad mit that there is nothing more disas trous for the sight than the prolonged contemplation of these irnitgi*. laist- I V, unci most important of all, in Mr. novel's estimation, is the continual variation of the distance of the eye from the jKiint of fixntiou on the book. A simple calculation demonstrate*that the accommodation of the eye to the page undergoes u distinct variation iu proportion as the eye posses from the In-ginning to the cmf of each line, and nud that this variation is all the great er in pmistrtion to the nearness of the Imok to the eye and tho length of the line. A* to the rub* which M. Javel in culcate* in order that the injurious ctb-cts of reading may be avoided, with reference to the permanent applica tion of the eyes, he counsels to uvoid excess, to take notes in reading, to stop in order to reflect, or even to roll a cigarette; but not fo go on reading for hours on end without stopping. As to the contrast between the white of the pa[MT and the black characters, various experiments have been made in the intrisjuctiou of colored papers. M. Javel advise* the adoption of a slightly yellow tint. Itul the nature of the yellow to be used is not a mat ter of iuditference; he would desire a yellow resulting from the absence of the blue rays, analogous to that of pa per made from a wood paste, and which is often mistakenly corrected by yie- addition of an ultramarine blue, which produces gray, and not white. M. Javel has been led to this conclu sion both from practical observation and ali* theoretically from the rela tion which must exist between the two eye* and the colors of the spectrum. His third advice is to give prefer ence to small volumes which can be held in the hand, which obviates the necessity of the book being kept fixed in one place, and the fatigue resulting from accidentally image*. Hastly, M. Javel advises the avoidance of too long lines and therefore he prefers small volumes, and for the same reason those journals which are printed in narrow columns. Of course every one knows that it is exceedingly injurious to read with insufficient light, or to read too small print, and other com mon rules. M. .lavcl concludes by protecting against an invidious assertion which ha* recently been made "in a neigh boring country" (Germany, no doubt), .according to which the degree of civi lization of a people is proportional to the number of the short-sighted shown to exist by statistics; the extreme economy of light, the abuse of reading to the detriment of reflection and the observation of real fact*, the employ ment of Gothic character* and of a too broad column for book* and jour nal* are the conditions which, M. .lavcl believe*, bads to niyopy, espe cially if succxwsive generations have been subjected to the injurious influ ences. MIMIC. "Crni," In lb* AllnnM Trl trans. Music, like many other arts, is de rived chiefly from the ancients. Of its origin uo certain knowledge can be obtained. There arc many fabulous stories attributing its origin tj the heathen gods. It was in all probabil ity coeval with man, and it is also pro liable that the vocal music preceded the use of instruments. The simple elevation or depression of the voice in expressing the different passions and emotions of the mind would, most likely, have led to its discovery, and the idea of regulating it might have naturally lieen obtained from the mod ulated song of birds. A portion of the songs of the blackbird U well known to consist of true diatonic in tervals. "Music U the only one of all the arts that doo not corrupt the mind." And hard must be the heart that music cannot touch. It lifts us above ourselves and all the petty trials of life; it makes us feel grander, nobler and holier. We know that the voice of auy human being becomes touching in distress, and even on the course-minded and low, religion, and the higher passions have made the deepest impression. 1 have never known man, or woman, with even a spark of noble feeling, whose voice at time* did not deepen to a chord of grundeur or soften to the notes sweet a* the music of Apollo's lyre. We are surrounded by unwritten mimic. There in no sound of nature not mu*i cal. God in the great musician; the sounds which He made are all har monious, bocause they are governed by the Great Author of ull harmony. 'I he gentle winds of Hummer blow lightly over the waterfall- and brook*, bringing u nound to our ear sweeter than any written munic, yet the wind at bent i but a fitful player; playing now last, now alow, now loud, now low; never twice the name. 1 once heard a legend of Scotland, which I think in beautiful. It in believed by the Highland i*-a*niitH that to the ear of the dying (which before death al waya becomes exquisitely acutej, the (icrfect harmony of uature in to en trancing a* to make him forget all bin naiii and hu lb-ring, and to die gently like one in a plea-ant dream. And so, when the lout moment approache*, they take him from within and bear him out into the oja-n sky that he may hear the familiar sounds of nature. The old Philosopher we read of might not have been dreaming when he de clared that the order of the sky wax like a ncroll of written munic, and that two stars (which are raid to have appeared centurion after his ilcath in the very place* he mentioned ), were lacking to complete the harmony. AH honor be to theme whose uiin in life is proficiency in munic. Have courage and perseverance and you will suc ceed iu thin grand art. FROZEN TO IfKATII IN VIRGINIA. THE I.AKT SURVIVOR OF THE EXPE DITION THAT EXPLORED LOUISI ANA TERRITORY. Captain Tom I> wis, colored, near ly 90 years old, was found frozen to find a ver dict for the defendants. No attention was paid to this order either, where upon Judge Pershing intimated to the jury that they should do as directed. (>ne of the jury, Mr. Godfrey Leonard, then stood up and said, "Well, if we are here for nothing I suppose we have nothing to my." He then sat down and the verdict was recorded as the court directed, although not a single juror complied with the order to re turn such a verdict- The verdict was decided on law points by the court, who intimated that it was not neces sary to place the case in the hands of a jury. After their discharge, the jury gave vent to its feelings. Several of them, of their own accord, said: "If we see anything in the papers about us rendering a verdict for tho defendants we'll deny it, because we didn't find such a verdict. We were told to find a verdict for the defen dants; hut we were sworn to do our duty to the best of our ability, and we couldn't render such a verdict-" "How did you want to findr "For the plaintiff," was the reply. "Every man of us want to find a verdict for the plaintiff." Plaintiff's counsel are very wrathy on account, as they my, of the manner in which thev were treated by the court. Plaintiff's coun sel will carry the cam to the Supreme , Court, and have already taken steps ! to prepare paper book. A Mother Who (.ate Tea Sans U the Army. A very remarkable case of patriot ism of a family has been developed at the War Department Some time ago Congressman Deering. of lowa, ap plied to the Secretory of War for the discharge from the regular army of a young man named Norman M. Mer chant, of Battery B, United Stoles army. The favor was asked by his mother, who said she was 72 years of age, had given ten sons to (he defense of her country, and as she was now unable to support herself she asked that her eleventh son might be dis charged from the military service, so that she could have care" and atten tion in her declining years. Upon in vestigation the Secretory of War found the names of the ton torn whom she said she had given to the defense of her country, the regiments in which they served, and the military record of each, in every particular as she had, slated. The Secretory of War imme diately ordered the discharge of the eleventh son, and wrote the did lady a letter, in which he extolled her "pa triotism, and thanked her in the name of the United States for contributions to iU list of defenders,