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I'hiUdrlpblJ, 1ur.da, January 27. lflJO
THE BRIDGE MENACE
MEMBERS of the Operative Builders'
Association who told Muyor Moore
that the Camden bridge will interfere
with the development of the northeastern
section of this city must have been well
Versed in the warnings of the past.
Doubtless the series of switchbacks lo
Columbia, were rendered useless when the
parent of the present Pennsylvania Rail
toad was built to Harrisburg. Every
body knows how superfluous the Ninth
and Green streets terminal became when
the Reading station was erected at
Twelfth and Market streets.
What happened to the pony express
when the last spike was driven in the
Union-Central Pacific? And, to be more
up to date, what does Punta Arenas in
southernmost continental ClHle think of
that time-annihilating short cut, th.3
Panama canal ?
It is on record that the proposal to es
tablish trolley lines to take the place of
the old horse-drawn street cars was bit
terly opposed in this city.
HAMPERING THE POSTOFFICE
POSTMASTER THORNTON is asking
for more room to accommodate the
rapidly growing mail business of the city.
He says that the receipts of the postoffice
have doubled during the last seven years
and that they will increase more than
?5,000,000 a year before the end of 1922.
Yet the postmaster is compelled to do
this great business in the same quarters
that have been occupied for many years.
He is asking the government to lease for
him 250,000 square feet of floor space for
his immediate needs.
This expansion of the business of the
city is gratifying. The failure of the
government to provide for its accommo
dation should compel those who wish the
government to extend its business activi
ties to reconsider their opinions and re
vise their judgments.
A private enterprise doing a business
of seven or-eight million dollars a year
in one line in 1912 would have ma'de im
mediate provision for expansion when it
took on a new line which required a great
deal of room for proper handling. But
when the postoffice began to handle large
packages that had formeily been sent by
express the government expected this
bulky mail to be accommodated in the
same quarters that had been used before
the parcel-post system was adopted.
Part of the increased revenues of the
local postoffice come from the natural in
crease in the mail of a growing city, but
a large part of the new revenues un
doubtedly come from the parcel post.
Those revenues are to be increased in the
near future when a branch Gf a great Chi
cago mail-order house is opened here next
summer. Mr. Thornton estimates that
this house will pay $1,500,000 a year to
the local postoftice. It has been known
for many months that this new business
was to come here, yet the government in
Washington has done absolutely nothing
to enable the postoftice to accommo
date it.
When a governmental department en
gaged for years in the business of han
dling the mail neglects to provide for ex
pansion until long after the facilities of
the postoftice have broken down under the
strain, it is difficult to understand how
any one with the slightest appreciation
of the elements of business efficiency can
favor applying these same backward
methods to any other enterprise.
Better accommodations f the local
postoffice will bo proided at some time
in the future, but not until we have been
compelled to suffer still greater incon
venience. THE SENATE'S FINAL TEST
rpHE foreshadowed senatorial "ulti--
matum" on the peace tieaty will at
least be a guide to public opinion.
A belated national cheer will go up if a
workable agreement of the factions is
reached. If anything so senseless as a
final failure to compromise is recorded
the incompetence of tho Senate will be as
palpable as the recent folly of tho Presi
dent. In that case the referendum by
presidential election, which scarcely any
one save Mr. Lodge and Mr. Wilson have
ever seriously urged, will be the unes
capable calamity.
In the brief time that seems to be left
for judgment there is still opportunity
for the hard-shell senators to disdain the
cup of bitter paradox which would be
theirs if they continue obdurate. The
spectacle of the Senate, which has been
rated as the President's foe, taking a step
that would make his proposal inevitable
Would be one difficult to surpass in the
nnnols of irony.
SHRINKING VIOLETS
EVERY four years at about this point
In the winter tho ranks of the "Far-Be-It-Fro-Me
Club" swell prodigiously.
The raucous roars of those rude fellows,
tho presidential campaign managers, are
answered by the merest flutters of shrink
ing violets. Was there, indeed, ever a
favorite son whom all this tumult leading
toward Juno did not shock in January?
Mr, Hoover does not lift o finger on
bohalf of a residence in tho White House.
Governor Coolidgo insists that he "could
not seek this office." Mr. Palmer is de
voting all his time to anti-sedition. Mr.
Bryan is censoriously interested in the
keening of certain Democratic politicians
over the corpse of Mr. Barleycorn.
Hiram Johnson is fighting tho treaty.
The concern of these gentlemen over
problems other than the riddle of the next
presidency qualifies them for immediate
membership in the quadrennial league of
modesty. Were not the evanescence of
that now populous body as generally
recognized as its shyness one would bo
forced to wonder why anything so dull,
unattractive and inconsequential as a
presidential nomination had ever become
a feature of the American political sys
tem. Robin, of "Ruddigore," might sug
gestively be invoked to proclaim the mid
winter motto of tho "Fnr-Be-It-From-Me
Club." "Ah. you have no idea," insisted
this bashful youth, "what a poor opinion
I have of myself, and how little I de
serve it."
A PRINCE OF FRAUDS WAS
JOHN BARLEYCORN, M. D.
And We Seem to Be Facing an Epidemic
of Nerves Rather Than an Epi
demic of Flu
rpHEUE need be no cause for alarm or
despair or a woeful wringing of' hands
in tho grim determination of the retail
liquor men to withhold their stocks from
druggists who wish to sell the stuff as
"flu" medicine. Alcohol isn't good for in
fluenza, according to wise medical au
thorities. The lamented Barleycorn had a truly
versatile character. He was by tempera
ment an optimist. He was lively in con
versation. He was amusing in odd and
dangerous ways. Ho had a cheerful habit
of song, though he sang indifferently.
For poets, vagabonds and tired men of
all sorts who found themselves often in
need of false and temporary strength and
didn't mind paying for it with increased
fatigue, he was an obliging companion.
Now and then at rare intervals he may
have helped a man over a hump.
But as a doctor John was the most con
sistent, the most picturesque and I the
most dangerous of frauds and impostors.
He fooled his patients cruelly. And if
you are to believe Home of the most emi
nent authorities in all medicine, notably
the officials of the Chicago Board of
Health, he killed countless people during
the epidemic of last year by leaving them
weak, enervated and ready victims for
the disease wliich he pretended lo cure.
It is by no means certain that a revival
of influenza jis either prespnt or impend
ing. The health authorities and the doc
tors generally are less disturbed than the
general public. Reports from hospitals
and army and navy stations indicate that
what is abroad is a mild form of influenza
nearer in form and effect to the old
fashioned grip.
There is little-promise thus far of an
actual epidemic, unless it be an epidemic
of nerves which could be almost as
lamentable as an epidemic of infection.
To be in constant dread of a disease is
somehow to invite it.
Colds, grip and "flu" itself are not the
result of cold weather. They are conse
quences of direct infection which any one
in sound health can easily resist or con
quer. Rational prevention, therefore, is
not a matter of quick stimulation that in
evitably lessens physical resistance. It
is a matter of health and hygiene.
Walk to work, even if you have lo get
up earlier in the morning. Walk home.
If it is not rjossible to walk all tlip wnv
walk part of the distance. The colder the
day the better you will feel after the first
mile.
Grip or "flu" or whatever it is that
seems to be in the air has no relation to
temperature, to wind or rain or snow. It
can thrive only in impure air or in a
weakened body.
For that reason everybody ought lo
avoid crowded trolleys. The street-car
service isn,'t what it ought to be. We are
confronted by a condition which is the
direct result of efforts to maintain five
cent fares by economical operation of the
transit lines.
Thousands of people who wait for
street cars to ride a short distance would
be healthier and happier if they learned
to walk. Motors, taxicabs and street cars
have taken away the last opportunity "for
wholesome exercise that remained to peo
ple who live in cities.
Antipathy to physical exertion is a na
tional trait that can have many subtly
disastrous consequences. And a revival
of the habit of walking would have a
tonic effect not only upon the walkers
It might have a tonic effect on the
P. R. T.
Precautionary measures are easily pos
sible to those who use even overcrowded
trolleys. The navy has an admirable
method. All men on every station are
lined up regularly once or twice a day
when grip, colds or "flu" are prevalent.
Under the supervision of the surgeons
they are required to spray their nose and
throat cavities with a standard disin
fectant solution such as may be obtained
with a physician's prescription or ready
made at any drug store.
A cold of any kind even the familiar
"'cold in the head" is in itself a warning
of a prior condition of imperfect health
and lowered vitality. Avoid overwork
not only when the "flu" threatens, but at
other times. Get plenty of sleep. Eat
simple food. Exercise in the open air is
essential. These are the oldest rules of
hygiene and they offer a surer preven
tive of illness than all the whisky ever
distilled.
Fresh air is as important in winter as
it is in summer. So is exercise. Indeed,
there is some excuse for those who avoid
exertion in the heat of midsummer.
There is no excuse for the physical
lethargy which in winter -weather causes
people to huddle in closed rooms and trol
ley cars. An hour's hard walking daily
at this time of the year is the best sort
of medicine. And as the trolley service is
it ought to help most of us to save time.
Let Barleycorn lie. Leave the worry
ing to the health authorities.
Doctor Furbush appears to know very
definitely what he is about and he isn't
getting excited. He has done a great deal
of work with and for the army and he has
the army's habit of refusing to take
chances or do things by halves. His ad
vice and suggestions should be taken
ilierally. If the need arises he will tell
the P. R. T. what it Iibb to do and tho
P. R.T. will do as it is told.
It would be better to call out the ro
servos to compel people to walk than to
let them crowd in street cars that ac
tually are dangerous to the general
health. Unless we have awrong notion
of Doctor Furbush's character and
method, he would da that very thing if
he deemed it advisable,.
If you persist in thinking of ghosts you
will sec one or your overwrought senses
will tell you that you see one. The rela
tion between physical and mental proc
esses is undeniable. Doctors cannot ex
plain it. But it is revealed to them in
astonishing ways every day. That is why
idle talk about a "flu" epidemic will con
tinue to be regrettable until there is bet
ter evidence of danger than the health
authorities have yet been able to per
ceive. If you "catch a cold" go at once to a
physician or call one in without delay.
Take the doctor's advice and his medicine.
But if you regularly follow ordinary rules
of health you probably will not be trou
bled at all. You will ward off flu, even
if it is in the air, without knowing that
it was anywhere about.
THE SPROUL BOOM
TN THIS last week of January the race
-- for the Republican presidential nomi
nation is among the favorite sons of the
various states. What it will be in tho
last week in February or March is still
concealed in the mists of tho future.
Consequently the friends of the favorite
sons are justifiably active. It 'is the gen
eral impression tit the present time that
Governor Sproul will be presented to the
convention as the candidate of Pennsyl
vania, backed by the delegation from this
state, just as Governor Coolidge, of Mas
sachusetts, will go to Chicago with the
united support of the Bay State delega
tion. The dinner to Governor Sproul in Wash
ington last night was arranged to bring
his candidacy to the attention of the Re
publican politicians in that city. His
friends believe that all that is necessary
to secure support for him is to allow him
to be seen and heard, so that it may be
known what manner of man he is.
Their confidence that he can be nomi
nated is not without historical founda
tions. One has only lo review the pro
ceedings of conventions in the past to dis
cover tne basis oi tneir nopes. since i&yu
there has been no really serious contest
in the conventions, as the political man
agers had succeeded in arranging before
hand who was to be nominated. This is
true even of the convention of 1912, when
Taft was named for the second time. The
leaders had decided to name Mr. Taft and
he was nominated.
But in 1888, when Harrison was nomi
nated for the first time, in a favorite-son
convention, he had only eight votes on the
first ballot, Chauncey M. Depew, of New
York, had ninety-nine. Blaine received
thirty-five and Mayor Fitler, of this city,
polled twenty-four. It was not until the
eighth ballot that Harrison was nomi
nated. In 1880 it took thirty-six ballots
to make a nomination, with Grant and
Blaine leading on the first without a sin
gle vote cast for Garfield, who was com
mitted to the suppoit of John Sherman,
of his own state. Pennsylvania went to
the convention in 1876 committed to Gov
ernor Hartranft, who polled fifty-eight
votes on the first ballot, while Hayes, who
was finally nominated, had only sixty
one. Blaine started with 285 in a conven
tion in which only 379 votes were required
to make a nomination. On the seventh
ballot, as a result of compromises, Hayes
won the nomination. These were all
favorite-son conventions, with the race
open to any one when the delegates met.
If there should fail to be agreement on
any one before next June that man would
be rash indeed who should make any
prophecy, and the' friends of the various
candidates would be extremely foolish if
they did not stand by their man and work
for him with all their might. A compro
mise on any of them would then be pos
sible. It is because of this condition that
the Sproul workers are coming out into
the open just now. :
Attorney GcLcral 1'nl-l-'it
Feet mer is accused by Itu-
tlenberc, of Illiuois, of
havins cold feet because ho failed to appear
bi'fore the House rules committee to explain
the need for further anti-sedition IeKUlutiou.
This i probably a mistake. His feet can't
be oohl when they're iu hot water pretty
nearly all the time.
The value of Kansas
Plucky Kansas as a government ex
perimental station lies
in the fact that she lacks sclf-conscioueness
and is willing to try anything once. So al
though she pulls many bones, she frequently
does something distinctly worth while as
witness the industrial court.
Sheriff Lamberton is starting out with
a policy of economy by abolishing needless
portions. This is u good beginning. Every
one knows that there are a lot of needless
positions not tmly iu the sheriff's office, but
in many other public offices.
A lot of nervous officeholders are still
wondering whether the proximity of ice
during the Major's trip down the Delaware
induced him and his companions to consider
a freeze-out in the city offices for those who
won't play with them.
The brave women who played the piano
and sang songs in the face of grave danger
gave a joyous limerick twist to the Powha
tan's epic trip.
Raids on whisky stills reminds us
Drink is nothing but a dream
That we all have left behind us.
Tilings arc Teally what they seem.
'Tis a chariot of progress the Mayor is
driving, and he desires opponents to know
that what he bumps into he goes over.
Every eminent statesman is discovering
that peace-treaty compromises nre neces
sarily complicated by desire to bave his face.
Crow for the United States Senate? His
boom seems to be getting some hard Knox.
Doctor Furbush is our choice of man
datory for bacteria.
Speaker Sweet is still press agent for
the Socialist party in New York.
Little Holland has the courage of her
convictions, anyhow.
Fire and Frost are what may be termed
fierce friends.
IS DEPORTATION
THE PROPER CURE?
The Ideas of Undesirable Aliens Can
not Be Got Rid of by Sending the
Aliens Out of the Country
Ily CHASE S. OSBORN
(In the North American Jtcvtcw)
Mr, Osborn is a former governor of Mich
igan, where hc-mada a splendid record as n
progressive and enlightened administrator,
lie was born in isfiO and was enjjaged'in
newspaper work, as reporter and later as
owner, from lHtlo until 1012, the year after
he was elected to the riovcrnorship. lie has
been a regent of the University of Michigan
and commissioner of railroads for the state.
v
TXTH ARE deporting undesirable citizens.
' Herger hns been re-elected.
Arc we making any headway iu our at
tempts to solve our human weed problems?
They nre human weeds. Wc can get rid of
them about ns successfully and satisfactorily
by deporting them as wc could eradicate
Canadian thistles by the same process. T am
not certain that I know what to do with
them, but I do fecl'that I am certain that
deportation is not the cure.
If it were possible to confine thought, pr
lack of it, to nny particular part or corner
of the earth then we might hope to accom
plish r-oinethitig by deportation. But in this
modern time, when communication is nearly
the easiest thiug to accomplish, thought' is
the most difficult thiug in nil the world to
repress, compress or successfully oppress.
Even iu the old days of dominant autoc
racy the practice of deportation was noto
riously u failure. Perhaps the most notable
example in modern times of un attempt to
regulate by deportation was the practice of
Russia during the old regime. Everybody
knows just how signally Russia failed. There
was something iu Russia's favor, too, in the
matter of luw mid morals. She sent her
undesirables to Siberia, a portion of her own
territory. This she had a Icgul right to do.
But AIicre arc we sending our undesirables?
admitting, of course, thut they are undesir
ables, of which I nui in no doubt. In order
to avoid protest from other governments we
hac addressed to them a secret note. That
note probably states that we nre sending them
to Russia whence they arc alleged to have
come. It may be safely assumed that no
representation will be made or permission,
asked of the soviet government. It is equally
safe to assume that if the old government
of the czar were in power today it would be
given the Mime consideration that wc show
others that nre able to look out for their
interests. From this it is not difficult to
conclude that not only arc wc adopting a
policy that has alwajs failed in the past, but
that we are following it in a cowardly man
ner uud with limited legal nud almost no
moral rights.
TXTHAT right hac wc to uutnp on aujbody
uuj where a contagion, intellectual, or
social, or phjsical, or moral, or of any kind
whatsoever?
Suppose thut tho Asiatic cholera had
broken out here, as it has in tho past, would
wo try to cure it by shipping it back to Asia
where it could most illy be dealt with and
where it would continue' to germinate and
form' a world menace until the cause wero
eradicated?
AVc would proceed at once to clean up our
land and impnne the conditions in cv'ery
possible breeding place until immunity was
insured. Thut is exactly one of the things
that wc shall have to do socially and politi
cally. IX THE meantime wo are confronted with
an uetual condition that must be met.
How? Perhaps by a kind of "home" de
portation or internment. In the case of the
Indians we adopted something of the kind
when wc placed them upon reservations and
restricted them there. There are not as
many known so-called "Reds" as there were
redskins. It is reported that the govern
ment has a list of some 00,000 undesirables
more or less. It would not be at all Im
possible to intern these somewhere in a
locality iu America where they could hae
plenty of room at least to partiully maintain
themselves. As now they ate not only a
contugious lot, but they ure parasites as well.
If necessary, their reservation could be
walled and guarded. It might be large enough
so that they could set up their own kind of
got eminent uud try it out to their hearts'
content. Perhaps if they hud to live in
uccordauce with their own ideas it would
operate to cure them more quickly than any
thing else that could be done.
This would be a safe and humane bolution
of the immediate coufrontment. In their
own "model" state of anarchy or socialism
they could have witli them their families. 11 v
the deportation that is being carried on now
husbands ure separated from wives and chil
dren from parents iu a manner more cruel
than iu the dajs of African slavery or when
we pursued the Creeks and Seminoles into
the swamps with bloodhounds.
TTTHEN the known "Reds" arc rounded up
V' in their own Utopia we can then, with
some hope of permanent success, engage in
measures of cure and prevention. I used the
illustration of the Canadian thistle. Permit
me uguin to refer to that noxious weed. The
best remedy for getting rid of them is to
remove them from the ground they occupy
and then cultivate intensely. The same re
course will cure the "Red" peril. The culti
vation will have to mean cleaner and more
just government, the correction of industrial
justice, the abolishment of child labor, the
clear demonstration that this A not a govern
ment for the few.
' There must be a general recognition and
admission of the fact that if conditions were
as they should be in this country, and in
the world as well, there would not be so
many of these socially unbalanced and in
tellectually hungry people. It may take a
long time to bring about a btatc of things
wherein insanities will be entirely eradicated.
Of a certainty, a policy of mere deportation
will not avail, even with no consideration
for the humanities and injustices involved.
A wrong committed by a republic is no
less than a wrong done by nn autocracy, nor
is a mistake lessened by the character of the
agency that commits it.
Mr. Lodge, who once declared in print
that "a peace treaty ought to be ratified,"
has a right to plume himself on the fact that
he was not betrnyed into saying "when."
Even self-determination can be carried
too far, as some of us realize when our feet
take Bensatlonal liberties on the slippery
sidewalks.
Rhode Island behaves as if she were
proud of her early performance, which
almost resulted in her exclusion from the
United States.
And just as Mr. Palmer's deportation
machinery gets under way the embarrassing
announcement is made that there are 77,000
more redskins in the country than there were
two decades ago,
Now that Mr. Hohenzollern rejoices in
being "in Dutch," the proof that he and
ourselves never did speak the same language
is clearer than ever.
The Michigan jury will begin today to
decide whether Senator Truman H. New
berry has lived up to the meaning of his
first name.
The gist of the complaint of motorists
about the Old York road seems to be that it
is not a road but an impaasable-ditch.
j m er
i
TRA VELS IN PHILADELPHIA
By Christopher Morlcy '
An Early Train
THE course of events Jbus compelled me for
bevcral months to catch an early train at
Broad btreet three times a week. I call it
an "early" train, but,' of course, these mat
ters arc merely , relative. Seven fojty-fivc
are the figures illuminated over the gatewuy
not so very precocious, perhaps ; but quite
rathe enough for one of Ilaroun-al-Rnschid
temper, one who seldom becks the "oblivion
of repose" (Boswcll's phrase) before 1 a. m.
Nothing is more pathetic in human nature
than its facility of self-deception. Winding
up the alarm-clock (the night befpre) I
meditate as to the exact time to elect for its
disturbing buzz. If I set it nt .0 :30 that
will give me plenty of time to shave and
reach the btation with leisure for a pleasur
able cup of coffee. But (so frail is the
human will) when I wake at 0:30 I will
think to myself, "There is plenty of time,
and probably turn over for "another live
minutes." This will mean a hideous spasm
of awakening conscience about 7:10 an un
bathed and unshaven tumult of preparation,
malisons on the shoe manufacturers who in
vented boots with eyelets all the way up, u
frantic sprint to Sixteenth street uud one
of those horrid intervals that shake the very
citadel of human reason when I ponder
whether it is safer to wait for n possible cur
or must btart hotfoot for the station at once.
All this is generally decided by setting the
clock for 0:50. Then, if I am spry, I can
be under way by 7 :20 and have a little time
i... niiiinsnniilrnl nt the corner of Six
teenth and Pine. Of the vile seizures of
passion that shake the bosom when a car
comes along, seems about to halt, and then
passes without stopping of the spiritual
scars these crises leave on the soul of the
victim, I cannot trust myself to speak. It
does not always happen, thank goodness.
One docs not always bave to throb madly
up Sixteenth, with head retorted over one's
shoulder to see if a car may still be coming,
while the legs make what speed they may on
sllddery paving. Sometimes the car does ac
tually appear and one buffets aboard and is
buried in a brawny human mass. There is
a stop, and one wonders fiercely whether a
horse is down ahead, and one had better get
out at once and run for it, Tightly wedged
in the heart of the car, nothing can bo seen.
It is all very nerve-racking, and I study, for
quietness of mind, the familiar advertising
card of the white-bearded old man announc
: Tf to rpnllv vprv remnrkablfi that n ci
gar of this quality can be had for seven
cents."
S
UPPOSE, however, that fortune is with
I descend at Market street and the
City Hall dial, bhining softly in the fast
paling blue of morning, marks 7 :30. Now I
begin to enjoy myself. I reflect on the curi
ous way in which time seems to stand still
during the last minutes before the departure
of a train. The half-hour between 7 and
7:30 has vanished in a gruesome flash. Now
follow fifteen minutes of exquisite dalliance.
Every few moments 1 look suddenly and
savagely at the clock to see if It can be
playing some saturnine trick. No, even now
it is only 7:32. In the lively alertness of
the morning mind a whole wealth of thought
and accurate observation can be crammed
into a few Beeonds. I halt for n moment
nt the window of that little lunchroom on
Market street (between Sixteenth and Fif
teenth) where the food comes swiftly speed
ing from the kitchen on a moving belt. I
wonder whether to have breakfast there. It
is such fun to see a platter of pale yellow
scrambled eggs sliding demurely beside the
porcelain counter and whipped dexterously
Oil in iroui oi juu vj me iircsiuiUK wuuer.
But the superlative coffee of the Broad
Street Station lunch counter generally lures
me on.
WHAT mundane joy can surpass the
pleasure of approaching the station
lunch counter, with full ten minutes to sat
isfy a morning appetite! "Morning, colo
nel," says the waiter, recognizing a steady
customer. "Wheatrakes and coffee," you
cry. With one jleft gesture, it seems, he
has handed you a glass brimming with ice
"JES' PLUGGIN' ALONG"
VI aha. f ft S ' '1 J LtUl !-' bn.I WLaP ' fiBa.TaS HiiiiL3 aXo- -Va-Sl ll tM W-a S V, r a alj Tl
' .
wutcr and spread out a snowy napkin. In
another jnomeut here is the coffee, with the
generous jug of cream. You splash in u
large lump of ice to make it cool enough to
drink. Perhaps the beat next you is empty,
and you put your books and papers on it,
thus not having to balance them gingerly on
your knees. All round you is a lusty savor
of satisfaction, the tinkle of cash registers,
napkins fluttering and flashing across the
counters, colored waiters darting to and fro,
great clouds of steam rising where the big
djsbcovcrs ure raised on the cooking tables.
You see the dark-brown coffee gently quiv
ering in the glass g'uugc of the nickel boiler.
Then, here come the wheatcakes. Nowhere
else on earth, I firmly believe, are they
cooked to just that correct delicacy of golden
brown color; nowhere else are they bo soft
and light of texture, so hot, so beautifully
overlaid with a smooth, ulmost Intangible
suggestion of crispness. Two golden butter
pats salute the eye, and a jug of syrup. It
is now 7 :38.
A1
S EVERY one knows, the correct thing
to btart immediately on the first
cake, using only byrup. The method of deal
ing with the other two is classic. One lifts
the upper one and places a whole pat of but
ter on the lower cake. Then one replaces
the upper cake upon the lower, leaving tho
butter to its fate. Iu that hot and enviable
embrace the butter liquefies and spreads
itbelf, gently anointing the field of coming
nction. Upon the upper shield one smilingly
distributes the second butter pat, knifed off
into small slices for greater speed of melt
ing. By the time the. first cake lies been
eaten, with the syrup, the other two will be
ready for manifest destiny. The butter will
be docile and submissive. Now, after again
making sure of the time (7:40) the syrup
is brought into play and the palate has the
congenial task of determining whether the
added delight of melting butter outweighs
the greater hotness and primal thrill of the
first cake which was glossed with syrup only.
You drain your coffee to the dregs; gaze
pityingly on those rushing in to snap up a
breakfast before the 8 o'clock leaves for New
York, pay your check and saunter out to the
train. It is 7:43.
rriHIS4 to be sure, is only the curtain-
t- raiser to the pleasures to follow. This
has been a physical and carnal pleasure.
Now follow delights of the, mind. In the
great gloomy shed wafts and twists of thick
steam aro jetting upward, heavily coiled in
tho cold nlr. In the train you smoke two
pipes nnd read the morning paper. Then you
nre set down at , Haverford. It is like a
fairyland of unbelief. Trees nnd shrubbery
are crusted and sheathed in crystal, lucid
like chandeliers in the flat, thin light.
Along tho fence, as you go up tho hill, you
marvel at the scarlet berries in the hedge',
gleaming through the glassy ribs of tho
bushes. The old willow" tree by the Conklin
gate is etched against the sky like a Japa
nese drawing it has a curious greenish color
beneath that gray sky. There is some mys
tery in all this. It seems more "beautiful
than a merely mortal earth vexed by sinful
men has nny right to be. There is some ice
palaco in Hans Andersen wliich is something
like it. In a little grove, the boughs, bent
down with their shining glazlery, creak
softly as they sway in tho moving eir. The
evergreens nre clotted with lumps and bags
of transparent icing, their fronds sag to the
ground. A pale twinkling bluencss sifts over
distant vistas. The sky whitens in the south
and points of light leap up to the eye as the
wind turns a loaded branch.
A CERTAIN seriousness of demeanor is
noticeable on the generally unfurrowed
browB of student friends. Midyears are on
and one sees them walking, freighted with
precious and perishable erudition toward the
halls of trial. They seem a little oppressed
with care, too preoccupied to relish the en
trancing pallor of this crystallized Eden.
One carries, gravely, n cushion and nn
ulurm clock. Not such n bad theory of life,
perhaps to carry iu the crises of existence
u cushion of philosophy and an alarum of
resolution.
THE THIMBLEBUM TREE
THE Thiuiblebum Tree grows up high on t
hill.
But its roots grow far down in the vale;
Its branches resemble n Bilfolil's bill,
With a trunk like a Buddakin's tail.
It bhivers all over with zephyrs ablow,
But in blizzards it stands just as still
And steady ns any old Tiddlcumtown
On the banks of the Fillupin Phill.
You'd rightly suppose that a Thimblebuia
Tree,
Growing high on the hilltops of Zeer,
AVould bear what the natives would most
like to bee
Many crops of gold thimbles each year.
But learn right at once that your thought is
not sound,
That a crop such as that could not be;
For thimbles, you know, being hollow an(
round,
Could not grow on n Thunblebum Tree.
The fruit that ,it bears, to be strictly cor
rect, ,-
Is the well, I nm sure you'll agree,
Its crops aro just what you would righUy
expect r
Would be grown on a Thimblcbum Tree.
Then why should you wish for its name
when you know;
And, besides, what would gold thimbles b
To women of Twippiltin TwipplI, who sew
With the twigs of tho Thimblebum Tree.
Cartoons Magazine.
In booming Herbert Hoover, there U' ij
pernaps a possible connection between an
expert otr lodes and the presidency.
What Do You Know?
QUIZ
1., What is the name officially given to the
late war in the records of the United
States navy?
2. Who named- John Marshall to be chief
justice of the United States?
3. How maqy republics are there in the
western hemisphere?
4. Who wrote the music of "Onward,
Christian Soldiers"?
5. When was Charles I of England exe
cuted?
0, Who created the picturesque and amus
ing fictional character of Colonel
Mulberry Sellers? ,
7. What is the second largest city to
Japan?
8. What is a praenomen?
0. What is the singular of the word dice?
10. What are thermae?
Answers to Yesterday's Quiz
1. The peace treaty with Germany declare"
that the tribunal to try William
Hohenzollern shall be composed of fle
judges, appointed respectively by the
United States, Great Britain, France,
Italy and Japan. At present, how
ever, the United States, owing to the
delay in ratifying the treaty, cannot
be represented.
2. Stockholm is the capital of Sweden.
3. The battle of Saratoga is especially im
portant in American history since K
was this victory over the British in
the Revolution which encouraged tie
French to make an American alliance
in the war. .
4. Karl Marx, the German Socialist, liw
iu the nineteenth century. His dates
nre 1813-1883.
0. Minonn is the name given to the verj
early Mediterranean civilization ei
Crete, tho nearby islands and u
Greek mainland. Minos, tow"
regarded ns a legendary king of uew.
id now thought to have existed.
0. William L. Marcy, a senator w
Jackson's time,, is said to have ol
inated the phrase "To the victor oe
long tho spoils." ...
7. Two rivers in Australia are the DarliM
and Murray. , ,.
8. The totnl membership of the i House i
Representatives, tlisregaruius "-'
pornry vacancies, is 433,
!). Jonathan Swift wrote
urs.llitrr I;
"u n
Travels." . . .,, i
10, Herbert O. Hoowr was orteinaw
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