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riilltdelphia. WJnefdfy, January It, 14:o
MERGE STREET BUREAUS NOW
'JU'OW that Hicks, of the street-cleaning
bureau, has resigned the opportunity
' presents itself to Director Winston to
l consolidate all the bureaus in his depart
ment dealing with thn layinp; out, paving
and cleaning of the .streets.
The btreet-cleaninj,' bureau was s,plit
ftway from the hitfhvas bureau a few
" years ago, und bhould be returned with-
out delay, and the bureau of surveys
, should be put under the direction of the
...head of these consolidated divisions of the
Department of Public Works.
This arrangement would result in in-.-'creased
efficiency and in economy, for it
would concentrate responsibility and
would abolish two unnecessary bureau
heads, while under it a single inspecting
force could do the work that is now done
by-three groups of inspectors trailing one
another about the city.
MISS TAFT'S GOOD SENSE
MISS HELEN TAFT, acting president
of Brynllawr College, displays some
.of the common sense inherited from her
distinguished father when she tells the
women attend;ng the citizenship school
that it would be a mistake to form a
woman's political party. She has per
ceived that political issues are not framed
jalong the lines of sex any more than polit-
ical parties in the past have divided men
Oil lines of honesty. If women are to be
a success as voters- they must be inter
ested in matters that affect all citizens,
. regardless of sex.
No class party has ever lived long in
America. There is a wholesome instinct
in the American political consciousness
against class legislation, no matter whose
" benefit is intended.
That Miss Taft believes women can be
.--consulted in framing public policies with
profit to the nation goes without saying.
She is a woman and she has a proper
respect for her sex. But she is aware
that some years must pass before women
can qualify themselves by experience for
.the most effective service. Her insistence
that they should have an opportunity to
get that experience is to be expected and
her protest atrainst segregating women
in their political activities will be in
dorsed by all women with an understand
ing of what processes are necessary to
the training of efficient citizens.
NEW JERSEY: AN EXAMPLE
QTUDENTS of what might be called the
New Jersey ego have always recog
nized distinguishing characteristics in the
mind and purpose of that lively state.
Jersey justice was celebrated for its
rigors. The alcoholic beverages upon
which a Jerscyman could thrive staggered
the average visitor from the mainland.
It had a truly dynamic energy. What
more than one philosopher has profossed
to sec in New Jersey is the two-fisted
independence, the free thinking and the
. extraordinary energy which "island"
peoples acquire naturally in the process
1 o"f survival against odds.
Certainly if there was dynamic energy
in the applejack of Jersey there is dyna
mic energy" too in tlir largpr mental
processes of the people themselves". If
there were not the retiring governor, Mr.
Jlunyon, would not yesterday have non
chalantly suggested an immediate bond
issue of $20,000,000 as a preliminary not
only to a bridge across the Delaware, but
to a great vehicular tunnel between Jer
sey City and Manhattan. In the presence
of a suggestion of that magnitude, Penn
sylvania, a far richer state, that has
hesitated and haggled for years oer the
cost of a Camden bridge, must feel a little
abashed.
Governor Runjon's appeal was the big
incident of the legislative assembly yes
terday. Mr. Edwards, his successor,
though making what many people believe
to be a gallant fight for beer, will have
to do better than he has done so far if
he is to live up to the traditions of his
ntate.
MAKING THE WORLD FLAT
"IITHEN the Bolshevist delirium was at
' its height in Russia, a ship navi
gated by a committee actually entered the
port of San Francisco. There had been
a council on that vessel whenever the
helm had to bo shifted and a debate for
every gale of wind.
Memory of that incident returns almost
every day with the news of plans and
counterplans for the reorganization of
industry in the United States. The
rumb plan and even Mr. Hines's latest
program for railroad management show
how definitely the experimenters arc de
termined to apply the theory of commit
tees in industrial direction.
They would flatten the world.
They would eliminate the inspirational
quality which, as the contribution of one
Sifted, individual after another, lias been
behind every triumph of business organi
tin and every great industrial achieve-jt.-r.
our history.
JUgulation is necessary. New methods
f iw$ary. But the individual mind
JAi-WttWJKWjr-.caaaot pn
unless wc wish to put an end to progress
in the United Stales.
Committees arc never inspired. They
aro instruments of restraint; the embodi
ment of caution,
A committee cannot lead in industry
any more efficiently thnn a committee
could write u sonnet, explore a new con
tinent or play the piano.
FOREIGN BLASTS ON TREATY
TACTICS ARE BADLY KEYED
It Is the Cause of World Amity. Not
Merely That of a European Rescue,
Which Demands Our Entrance
Into the League
AMERICANS have been ccnsoicd for
-'- not reading the league of nations
covenant. It now appears that Euro
peans have been .similarly remiss, or else
have chosen to disregard the plain intent
of that overdrbated document.
From across the sea bitter words' arc
flung at thi.s nation for its failure to
latify the treaty of Versailles. They arc
uttered with , view to pi milling tho
United States Senate to take affirmative
action on the" peace pact, and as spurs to
a greatly to be desired performance these
aci id tones have Iipcii applauded by some
of our sincere but highly sflf-critical citi
zens. Support of this, ariety cai rles idealism
pretty far. It would, of course, be fully
justified if Europe, by her diatribes,
meant precisely what i mean. But does
she? That is the uncomfortable ques
tion raised by her present attitude.
The query, regarded apart from parti
san bias, raises serious doubts as to
whether in Home influential quarters
abroad the original design of the league
is not misconceived, either ingenuously or
with deliberate purpose.
Abuse of America for not hustling the
treaty through is peihaps natural. If the
shoe were on the other foot and we had
r-igned up and were waiting for "Europe's
approval, it is unlikely that our obser
vations would be uniformly kindly.
Granted, however, that nations collec
tively aro "temperamental," just as the
ordinary human individual i, there yet
remains the disturbing possibility that
elements in the foreicn press and some
of the foreign public figures arc not
arguing their case in the wisest way.
"Save Europe!" is the burden of. their
nies. We are berated for neglecting u
continent, to the rescue of which we
already contributed largely, and aie at
once crossly and eagerly informed that by
ratifying the treaty we will become the
instrument of Europe's salvation.
As evidence of the folly of outside m
terferencp in the domestic affairs of a
nation, such objurgations lamentably fill
tho hill. Borah and the treaty-wreckers
may be conceived as chuckling content
edly when Europe overaccents the note
of selfishness.
Readers of the league covenant those
distressingly rare inhabitants of a world
which so imperatively needs the constitu
tion of amity-r-are aware that Europe is
pleading a good cause in a bad fashion.
They know that the league docs not com
pel America to be merely the tool of the
war-wrung continent, nor does it warrant
support merely because America is
strong enough and rich enough to haul
her late allies out of a bad mess.
The covenant is not a collection of
articles of alliance It biiuN the whole
world to a code evolved Io limit the pos
sibilities of war.
Until the governments of Europe are
brought to a realization of that fact,
overseas denunciation of our course will
only supplv capital for fanatical "bat
talions of death," venomous, narrow poli
ticians and senatorial tricksters chiefly
desirous of piling obloquy upon their op
ponents. The clumsiness with which America
has approached the treaty problem is not
to be condoned. Wc have been dilatory
and perverse. But in our own American
way, the way that is often so puzzling to
foreigners, tlicre can be little doubt that
we arc Hearing a solution.
In this connection it is cheriiug to note
that the influential Journal dex Dtbats of
Paris has a feeling that altogether too
many stones have been thrown from the
other side of the ocean.
It is not the place of Europe to chas
tise either our Republican' or our Demo
crats. They are our own affair. We have
'ebuketl them and extolled them inter-'
changeably for a good many years, during
which they have not driven the nation to
disaster. Wc know something of their
relations to each other and of their joint
responsibilities to the public.
France, as a whole, is about as im
perfectly acquainted with these condi
tions as this country is with tho nature
of the "rights" and "left" in the
Chamber of Deputies. The light which
the Journal den Debuts has seen is whole
somely respectful of national integrity
an asset which the league, when rightly
construed, unhesitatingly preserves.
Unfortunately the tendency to inter
pret it otherwise has been growing in
Europe. Tory newspapers, such as the
Nomina Post of London and the Echo de
Parii scoffed at the covenant when it was
originally devised. The pact frowned on
armaments, on the old imperialism, on
the old diplomacy. All this was worm
wood to the militarists and the cowork
ers m the brotherhood of financial
exploiter.-,.
But the absence of the United States
from tho official formation of the league
has for thr moment changed its charac
ter in their myopic eyes. The Echo d"
Paris is now not so grievously offended
by the international society, since its dis
tinguishing epithet is no longer entirely
accurate.
What. has boen called bv Mr. Wilson to
meet on Friday is chiefly a league of
European nations, and as such it is re
garded by that journal as subordinate
to the military council of Versailles,
which, though reduced to "consultoiy
powers," contains the seeds of an out-and-out
military alliance. Foch still heads
it, and the Echo frankly hopes, that it will
produce an explicit offensive and de
fensive partnership betweu Fiance,
Britain, Belgium and ltalv.
Across the channel the old guard tin
penalists, whose purposes have beun on
tho whole commercial and financial rather
than military, have exulted in tho rough
sledding of the Ieatrue. One finds Austin
Harrison, of tho English Review, hypo,
critically sympathizing with tho Anierle
.can treaty obstructionists, while at the
,Us2i pmfc. jfajmasMy,. .urgine Wj'd
EVENING PUBLIC LEDGER -
lieorge to "have a quiet hour with his
bankers."
There arc indeed three decidedly un
saorj shades of European opinion about
the league which arc damaging its case in
America.
There is the selfish view which persists
in regarding America's position in the
league as one primarily of European con
cern. Exponents of this attitude arc
openly vexed with the United States, even
to the point of meddling oracularly with
our domestic politics.
There are the professional soldier's
viewpoint and the financier's. The dancer
P which lies in them is vitally dependent
j on American speed in passing the treaty.
I lie harm done will not be irreparable u
we soon enter tho league.
Happib, men like Lord Robert Cecil,
Halfour and Tardieu interpret the func
tions of the league In the way that its
sincere merican advocates can approve.
There are millions of less vocal Euro
peans who concur. They realize, as Mr.
Taft ami Mr. Wilson and many others do,
thai (he league will operate broadly and
not nierel.v in (lie European bailiwick.
The mass of world opinion on the sub
ject is unquestionably sound. It is this
fact which to some extent neutralizes the
lcgritlablo transatlantic broadside of
detraction of our methods. When they
woik out to a lofty purpose, as, in spite
of deadlocks and partisanships they as
suredlj will, it will be not because of
angry words in Europe, but in spite of
them.
LAWS MADE TO BE OBEYED
MOTOR vehicle and traffic laws tecently
enacted for tho state and the city
weie formufated with the assistance anil
ad ice of automobile clubs, highway of
ficials and others whose aim it was to
provide for the safety and comfort of the
general public, and simultaneously pro
tect motor drivers themselves from the
occasional boor or lunatic who is the first
cause of serious accidents. These regula
tions ought therefore to be obeyed. Many
of them, however, ate consistently
ignored.
It is explicitly stated in the recent
municipal traffic ordinance that automo
biles may be parked on only one side of
one-way streets in the area between
Oregon and Erie avenues and the two
rivers. This provision was intended to
facilitate the movement of trolley cars
and geneial traffic Many of tho narrow
cross streets are still blocked on both
sides, and a driver who doesn't wish to
make a long detour has to disobey tho
letter of the new law and take to the
trolley tracks.
Until comtesy and good manners are
universal among automobilists the public
and the drivers themselves will never get
the maximum of service and pleasure out
of motors. The new road laws enacted
by the last Legislature have innumerable
excellent features, but until the intent
as well as the letter of the code is gener
I ally understood many of the old dangers
and abuses will continue.
The state authorities expressly permit
the use of high-powered headlamps with
deflecting lenses. But the law explicitly
states that those lights must be dimmed
at the approach of an oncoming car. This
obligation is perhaps more generally dis
regarded since the new law was enacted
than it ever was before, since many
drivers assume that the use of an "ap
proved" lens relieves theni of a responsi
bility that good sense and good manners
alike suggest. The framers of the new
law recognized the danger.- of night
driving with inadequate lamps. They
made sensible and generous rules which
not a few drivers fail to understand.
There is no device that will altogether
eliminate "glare" in lights of the sort
that make night driving safe on strange
roads, and for that reason those who, for
their own safety, take advantage of the
liberal provisions of the present code and
use headlamps of maximum power should
cultivate a regard lor the safety . of
others.
One of these days the slate highway
officials and the police in this city will
find time to enforce tho traffic rules drawn
up long ago for horse-drawn vehicles and
generally disregarded by owners and
drivers vvho.-e negligence often menaces
drivers and occupants of motorcars. Not
one horse-drawn vehicle in four carries
the red light demanded by the ordinary
road laws.
The attention of the police in the city
and on countiy roads is concentrated on
motor vehicles. A motorcar moving at
night without the necessary lights and
identification marks is immediately
stopped. Dray.- and horse-drawn wagon's
of all sorts without front or rear lamps
arc a constant danger on country roads
after nightfall. They violate a "definite
law.
The Supreme Court in
An Accsient UecNion refusing pcrmissiou to
Hie New Jersey Retail
Liquor Doalcrs' Association to bring original
prour-riliugs in fourt tn test tl.c constitu
tionality of tho prohibition amendment lias
laid ou tho noiatiou's back the stick tho
members would like to put in their beverages.
The wiue cup these days teems charged with
100 per cent alcoholic ilifcontent. Every day
another drop of bitters is added to it.
This seems to he tho
Hut Needs Help Now, piffle scaso in treaty
Of Course discussion. Austria,
we learn, is due to be
come "a perpetual poorhouso" because of
the loss of "producing areas." It may be
so, but it does not neec'-sarily follow. Eng
land for generations, nuil from choice, vvus
in exactly that conditio!!, battering manu
factures for food with considerable success.
Twenty million Aihrr
In Time, for icau are represented
Lcauc IliifCh at a mcetiug in Wash
ington for the purpose
nf upocdiug ratification. That's all light.
Ratification is a good horse that hasn't
shown any ginger to date-, tut it is sound in
wind and limb and should go far.
At a meeting of the
Bandits (irow I'earfulAuto Bandits' Asso
ciation held recently a
committee was appointed to investigate local
police conditions and to formulate plans for
the guidance of members in the immediate
future
.Mills wants it uuder
IOjos Itislil stood that eyes are
Hie only things wide
open hi this man fuvn. and there will be no
vnnLiug at dereliction in the pol'ce depart
mcut
A reverent world Is now curlou to knoV
ghat-kind. olJMrra Kac MiU(U
PHILADELPHIA, WEDNESDAY,' JANUARY
WHAT DEMOCRATS RAISE
Hastings Was Given the Information
and Product Seems Unchanged
Today Review of Past
Celebrities
H.v (JICOKtiU NOX McCAIN
POLITICS in one particular is largely a
-- mutter of parallels. The position of the.
Democratic national party todoy is but
slightly different, in the mind of the areruge
Republican, from Its attitude and attributes
of n quarter of n century ago.
This particular observation is the out
crow tli of an incident recalled to my atten
tion the othsr day. Us application finds n
parallel In the general condition of that party
for some time past.
H was during Cleveland's second admin
ideation nt n time when the protective taiff
was the parnmeunt issue,' Pennsylvania vvn
in n ferment over the free trade tendencies
of the uiiterrificd. Daniel n. Hastings in the
midst of it was chosen Goveron.- by the
largest high tariff Republican majority ever
given any candidate in the state. He was
making au address one night in Greenville,
Mercer county, ill the opera house. The
building was packed to its capacity.
He had eloquently outlined the past
triumphs of the Republican party and sarcas
tically described the Democratic trium.ph nl
the polls in 1S92. Rnislng one hand dra
matically above his head aud throwing into
his words all the Imprcssiveness at bis com
mand he thuudered :
"And since then what has the Democratic
pert.v been doing?"
From a distant corner of the gallery the
answer came with prompt, startling and
emphatic distinctness:
"Raising hell principal!;
A
SOMEWHAT similar incident that I re
call occurred at the Democratic Nntlonnl
Convention of ISO'-'. Ou this occasion, how
ever, conditions were reversed. Tho reply
came from the platform and not from the
gallery.
It was the convention that nominated
Cleveland for his i-ecoud term. There had
been a perfect vvhltlvvlnd of unbridled
eloquence or what was supposed . to be
eloquence. It seemed as though every curb
stone and corner store orator west of the
Mississippi was hent on addressing the
convention In a seconding speech.
One of the best speeches was made by
Governor Leon Abbott, of New Jersey,
although Bourke Cockrun. of New York,
in point of grace ami pdwer was the star
of the day.
Abbett, short, bearded, alert and fiery, had
been interrupted -dcral times by sonic
auditor iu the furthermost corner of the
gallery, who had clambered above the heads
of the surrounding people and was htanding
on a nnrtnvv ledge clinging to otic of the
steel rnfter braces.
In n peculiarly ,shrill, penetrating, and
insistent voice he Kept bawling "louder."
Once Abbett hesitated in evident annoy
ance. Then pulling himself together he
proceeded. Again the calliope-like jell came
down from the distant gallery.
"Louder!"
Governor Abbett stopped abruptly. Point
ing a liuger in the direction of the figure
clinging to the rafter brace, and raising his
voice so that it was heard all over the vast
assemblage hall, he exclaimed :
"Oo that great da.v when the nations of
the earth shall be summoned to the judg
ment throne, and the Archangel Gabriel
sounds his trumpet over land und sea to
call the dead from their sleep of centuries,
somewhere, in a God -forgotten backwoods
churchyard, some fool will raise his head
from beneath n crumbling tombstone and
bawl, "Louder."
There was uo further interruption
-UNIKX th,
' ' tion assc
ie Democratic National Conven-
assemblcs in San I-'ranci-co on the
"hth of June next it will represent the
assembling of a new generation of Demo
cratic leaders for Peniisjlvania.
The last few years have witnessed a wide
swath cut in the ranks of what the news
papers of a quarter of a century ago called
"The war horses of the unterrified Democ
racy." Those who have uot answered the
last summons have reached a point in age
where the quietude of private life is fur
preferable to the more or less tumultuous and
cveiting pastime of .politics.
Among tlioc once conspicuous as stale or
county leaders who have disappeared from
tliefrnj, through death or retirement, lire
meu like Colonel James A. Guffey, William
II Sowden. William M .Singerlv. William
Mutcliler, William I.". Ilenel, William r.
'Harrity, Thomas I). Rjau, Judge Harry
Hall. William S. Stcnger. John Aucona,
Charlie Rarr aud a ho-t of ethers. '
Two battle-scarred veterans of many a
sanguinary light still survive and vvill be
conspicuous at the gathering of the clans
on the Pacific coast. They are William J.
lirenncn, of Pittsburgh, aud Charles A. Don
nelh. of Philadelphia.
Rrenncn has become a millionaire and
Douuelly a philosopher.
The greatest combination of Democratic
politicians, from the purely combative
standpoint that Pcuusjhaniu ever saw, I
tliiul.. was "1111)" Iireunen and "Pat"
l'oley. Metaphorically speaMng they would
light at the drop of a hat : uud the hat was
perpetually gravitating earthward.
Colonel James fluff e; still lives as the
dean of Democratic leaders in Pennsylvania.
The younger element has shelved him, how -ever,
though he still exerts au unseen torcc
in the party.
The peculiar characteristic about Colonel
Guffey during bis years of power in the
party was that he never sought or craved
oflicc for himself. The sense of power, the
knowledge that he controlled the destinies of
his party, seemed to satisfy him.
It is the iron) of fate that Colonel Guffey
fought the battles and bore the brunt of
the fray during the .vears when Democracy
was hardest pressed, only to see tho scepter
pass from his hand when the party reached
the zenith of its power.
P.ryan is said to believe ' hinibclf the
Moses of his parly. He may make the mis
take of that other Moses in the Republican
party in thinking Mr. Wilson entirely help
less. In the latest news from Amcrongcu there
is indication of the cx-kaiser's line uf 'de
fense if his case ever comes to trial. He is
said to he insane. Hut thut is what has been
said of him ever since a certain fateful day
in 1011.
The quettiou who beat the Germans is
one that will have different ausjvers as long
as there are different nationalities; but tho
only important thing is that the Huns were
beaten.
Grudgingly vvc admit that thr one-time
boy orator of the Platte has the right dope nn
the treaty. It jars one to be obliged to have
to agree with Mr. Itrvau ou auj thing.
. The weakness of Palmer as a possible
presidential candidate is the frequent neces
sity he faces for making explanation.
John Barleycorn will be crowned King
J,i.thn Mdj-jwtoo. JoauarxJ-Xi
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THE CHAFFING DISH
qni: of
Christ i
our admirable clients sent us for
istmas n very interesting book culled
"Smokiana," published in London in lbl'U
aud purporting to contain n history and il
lustrations of nil kinds of tobactv pipes ever
used by mankind. Curiously enough, how
ever, we find iu this volume uo mention
whatever of the corncob pipe. The same is
true of an equally entertaining book called
"Tho Anatomy of Tobacco," published in
London about lSsj. The conclusion, of
course, is that up to 1N)0 not even the most
devoted practitioners of uicotinc in England
had ever heard of the Missouri meerschaum.
Now what wo want to know is, when did
the corncob pipe first come into general ubC?
We put this question into circulation in the
hope of getting some data fur our future
"Tractate on Corncobs." which vvc hope
some day to write. If our good-natured
clients will compile tho facts for us, it will
save us a lot of labor.
A Short Story
0
UR mind is never so painfully active as
when we are making out checks, aud
the other da.v. while wc were bc.tirring our
self in that way. we concocted an ideu for a
short story which we will give uwnr gratis.
The necessary ingredient, for this story is an
attractive lady called I'mline Gcorgiona In
galls, and she is herewith Io consider herself
invented. If there happens to bo any lady
of that name iu this teeming town wc beg
her pardon.
It is also necessary to imagine a married
couple. The husband ouce knew this Miss
Ingnlls and the wife knows that he admired
her greatly, but supposes thaHjc has not seen
her for years.
The action of the story would, of course,
begin with a description of the happy home
life, bills promptly paid on the first of the
mouth, n visit to the movies once a week,
especially when Dorothy Gish is on the
screen, etc., etc. Any experienced fiction
writer will know how much may bo made of
this tranquil routine. Then, one evening,
in cieaniug up his desk, the wife comes across
it pile of her husband's old check-books. To
her horror she finds, regularly once a mouth,
a stub indorsed briefly with Miss Ingalls's
initials. The terseness of the entries seems
to imply n certain dreadful intimacy. The
bums, w'hile uot devastating!)1 large, vary in
amount in a way that seems sinister. Why,
for instance, should her beloved John be
sending Miss Iugalls SS'l.SC iu December and
$0.71 in Juutiary?
On going back through her husband's stubs,
with that subtle thrill that any wife would
feel under such conditions, she sees to her
horror .that these illicit payments have been
going ou for .vears. The fact that they show
a definite annual cycle of quantities, decreas
ing in the summer aud growing very largo
in the winter, suggests unutterable Intrigues.
The fuct that during the sumi..er. when bho
herself wus down at the shore, John should
send so much less to the abandoned Miss
Tngalls seems a notable utrocit). YUions nf
Re"no flit tin ough her anguished miud. Is
this The Hud? She buries her head in the
cozy apartment where they havo spent so
maiiy hnpp.v evenings and her tears fall
f,.eey fortunately on the rubber plant.
Here there is a line opportunity for one of
the Woinuu's Homo Conipauiou school of
artists. Can't you see it? The lovely blonde
head bowed on tho arm of a tapestry chair,
the mellow light of the reading lamp shining
on her pathetic coiffure, the unobtrusive
rubber plant, and the caption under the
picture: .
.4 hitler sot1 hural nt her aching throat
Then, of course, John comes home and ex
plains to her about the northwest corner of
llrond and Arch streets.
HI& Heart Softens
The saddest words I can repeal;
lJucli division on the meter meais a hundred
reel
RDGAR THR GAS MAN.
Desk Mottoes
Vounjr eirlp. when visiting a a Iiouna
party, should- be quiet and eentle, well tc
teval &M wciaablo; but yhm t Jwjnj
14 1920
AIN'T YOU GOING TO
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tbero Is no reason why they should not bo
Perfectly natural
'PRANK W CROWNINiilllULD.
We Never Print Puns
Hear Socrates A contract is no strougcr
than its weakest Maeterlinck.
BRYN MAWR GIRL.
This Sounds Very Unlikely
Dear Socrates A friend of mine, who used
to be leading heavyweight in a burlesque
troupe called the Thousand Dollar Dolls, said
she guvc it up because they began calling ber
Tho Great First Gauze. Is it not a matter
of public, concern vvbton artistes arc driven
out ot the profession by shallow mockery?
KING PRIAM (Of the Threc-a-Day).
A new client sicims lilec a llazinn planet
into our ken with the following dithyramb,
which sent us crashing to the dictionary to
look up "zircon." It's there. All together,
now:
A Street Lamp's Challenge
"yON glow from moor cerulean !
Yon Klar of starry orb !
Yon plagiarist parhelion
That wouldat all light absorb !
yn, all In yc entirely:
Of flimsy chlorophyll,
That wouldst this sodden miry sc.i
Make wear thy "phosphorlllo!"
yE meteoric fells ! Do list
T' eye-scorching dazo of mine ;
I.llce piquant torch through nocturne mist,
I, zircon-breasted, shine.
AND with my lustrous beams, I dale
Tho berylllno green, that drawls
So sloth-lllio from its heav'nly lair.
To cast Its half-lit shawls
TTPON this earth effect to take,
Or oven try outshlno
The light r thrust upon tho wake
That slumbers at my shrine.
JOSEPH CARLTON PODOLYN.
A Greek engineer is piping the famous
Spring of tho Muses on Mount Parnassus to
supply the city of Athens with water. Many
citizens have often felt un impulse to com
pose spirited lyrics while taking a cold
shower bath, but now even the Athenian
kitchen-maid will burst into song as she
washes the dishes.
Sorrows of Our Clients
Dear Socrates: I have ben on tho verge ot
sending you some of my drivel for somo time,
but have desisted because I can't use a type
writer and am too modest to ask any of tho
girls lu tho office to typo for me. I havo de
cided to contribute, however, because I lllto
you. I want 'a bit of your udvico on a very
pressing matter I want to know whether I
should or should not sign my right name to
little things I write now and then. Somo day
I expect or, at least I hope, to becomo famous
as a writer. If I eign my right namo now
I can after I'm famous point to my earlier
writings und say. Look how rotten I was then
and how good I am today. On llm other
hand, If I never becomo famous, which i8
quito possible readers ot my writings ten or
twenty jears from now may say "Ho'h us
rotten todu.v as be wus ten or twentv vear3
ago, us the case mlghl be" How would" you
In my dilemma, advise inn?
GEORGE W. ANON.
Spending an afternoon browsing in the
University Museum, we were pleased to note
(in the collection of Indian relics) the case
marked Pi'-iea am' i;iC Cleaners. And it
struck us us just and proper that the docile
Indian squaws should have exercised the
greatest and most colorful ingenuity of their
skill iu beadwork iu ornamenting their hus
bauds' tobacco pouches.
Rut one thing which makes us wonder
whether the Indians wore really champion
smokers is that the howls f i,j,. T.ic- were
so small. It seems to us thut tlcJ ,.nut
have held more than fifteen good pun
While they arc taking Iho census wine
ou might keep un eye open for Hank Ford's
paper, the Dearborn Independent, and let us
ui- if iv i sun rupniDjf.
iiOCJU&Mp.
DO NOTHIN'?"
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DID YOU KNOW?
TN nUMAN imperfection
-- Lovo puts his greatest trust.
What makes tho sunbeams golden
But littlo motes of dust?
Were men and women perfect
All lovo were incomplete;
On seas and lakes
Somo storms it takes
To keep the water sweet.
Oh, no, 'tis not perfection
That soars all else above ;
Nor what is fair and flawlebs
That wins and keeps our love.
What man could love an angel?
Such lo've could never live ;
The constant need
Of love, indeed,
Is something to forgive.
-.Sumuel Minturu Peck, in the IJoslon
'Transcript.
The police managed to cdmb little Italy
without any hair-pulling. This, however,
was entirely apart from the scalping of ticket
scalpers.
Tho New Tork Assembly persibts lit its
determination to mako Socialism popular.
"I am unavoidably detained," wire
Uncle Sam to the council of tho league of
nations, "but I am with you in spirit."
Wc gather from n review of the slate
political situation that every schism males
a chasm.
Lodge is still in tho wilderness.
What Do You Know?
QUIZ
1. Who was president cf France under the
second republic?
-. In what century did Sir William lllack
stono live?
3. What were the names of the three fates?
1. What did the red flag signify during the
Roman empire?
5. On what date docs Easter fall this year?
0. What is hyssop?
7. What is the meaning of the word "quat
trocento," as upplied to a period in
art?
S. Who was secretary of stato under Ben
jamin Harrison?
0. In what country is the ex-Emperor Karl
of Austria-Hungary now residing?
10. What is tho origin of the word ketchup?
Answers to Yesterday's Qulr
1. A gibbon is a kind of long-armed ap,
particularly prevalent iu tho East In
dian arcblpelugo.
-. United States senators were formerly
elected by the Legislatures of the re
spective states.
I!. Tho mcun distance of the moon from th
earth is 28,800 miles.
I. Alphoiibc Mario Louis Lamartitic was t
celebrated French poet, statesman and
orator. The elegy "Lo Lac" ana
"Meditations Poetiques" aro amott
his chief works. His dates aro 100
I860. '
S. A melodrama was originally a play with
songs interspersed.
11 "O Rare Beu Jousou" is tho inscription
on the poet's tomb, placed there by an
ecccutrie gentleman, Jack l'ounff.
7. The outlying possessions of tbo UniW
Stutes orgunized us territories
Alaska and Hawaii.
S. During tho period of his regency. '
Prince or Wales. ho later became
George IV of Great Britain, war
know u as "Tho First Gentleman el
Europe."
0. Ecru is the color 6f unbleached.
The, won) is Fiench. and wetm un
Dieacuty. i
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